I am a f**king basket case

Well after two weeks of crappy reception, I decided to do battle with DirecTV tonight. It was not pleasant. After the first go-round, I was so mad I told them to just turn it off. I don't have the authority to do that though. The account is still in Michael's name - he's been paying for it as well. When I called him about it, he said it was time to take care of that. That's more than fair. He called them and authorized me to make changes on the account.

Bell on the second round. I called in and got some hateful guy on the phone who told me first that they couldn't change the name on the account without changing the data chips or some shit in the receiver boxes, and that would cost $40. The only other option was to close the account and re-open it, which he said would require my buying all new equipment. I was told they only change account names in the case of a divorce or death. I asked to speak to a supervisor, and he first refused to put me through. Then he put me on hold for a while, then he said there was no supervisor available. He then told me that nothing more could be done anyway, and a supervisor would just tell me the same thing he was. He kept saying that over and over. He put me on hold again when I kept asking to be passed up the chain, and just left me there. Finally I just hung up.

Bell on round three. It's now 9:30pm. I did get a very nice lady on the phone who changed the account name and billing address in a twinkling, and apologized profusely for the way I had been treated. That was when I started crying. She was so nice. I just couldn't take it. She could tell I was upset, and was even nicer, and of course that just made me cry more. I'm sure she thought I was a loon. I thanked her very much for her help, and declined to do battle with tech services tonight. I just didn't have it left in me. At least the billing stuff is taken care of. They want to charge me $80 for a service call to send someone out here, and I really can't afford $60 a month for TV service. The main reason I'm leaving it on is because Mom will be here next week, and to have no cable would just be awful of me. So I guess I'll have basic cable run back in at the end of the month. I've been watching too much TV anyway.

I suppose the reason I was so upset was that the TV account is one of the last ties to Michael. I know that makes no sense, but that's the only thing I can think. We're breaking up the phone account too, since his contract has expired. And that will be the end of it. Aside from a few things I'm storing here for him, the last of our lives together will be dissolved. Also, after talking to me tonight for a half hour or so, he told me he's been seeing someone for about three months now.

Well of course he has. He is a nice, cute, reasonably sane guy in NYC. He has a lot to offer. There are tons of guys up there. And that's exactly what he should be doing. It just broke my heart a little, I guess, to hear it. My own dismal (lack of) prospects is probably at play here too. I never can resist a self-pity party. Sigh.

***

After I got off the phone, I called Justin, to hear his latest chapter, and tell him mine. It was good to talk to him. I went to bed with a lighter heart.

I'm sure part of this is that I'm just all stressed out over the surgery next week and all that's going on.

- this Dad vs. Paul and Cindy thing has turned into a months-long Jerry Springer-esque saga
- the house is a wreck
- I'm planning the camping trip for this weekend
- the cable is on the fritz
- I'm nervous about this surgery next week - it's supposed to be REALLY painful
- I'm doing month end, and tomorrow is Hell Slide day at work
- I'm trying to get ready for Mom to be here next week
- I'm trying to get my will re-drawn, and have been referred to an attorney with the speed and efficiency of a carrot
- I had my teeth cleaned today on my lunch hour
- tomorrow I have the surgery pre-screen on my lunch hour

It's just a rough week.