A post in which it is Monday

I didn't enjoy my boss being on vacation today nearly as much as I expected. Usually when he's gone it's like a vacation for me too.

I woke up feeling really drug out this morning still, but went on in. I got done what I needed to do. By the end of the day I was ready to go home and collapse. I was too worthless to go back on real food today. I actually went to McDonald's. Yeah. I had a coupon in the car that came in the mail last week. I just stuck the mail in the car and hadn't cleaned it out.

I watched Family Guy, and was eventually shamed enough to do a little stuff around the house, like wash dishes, and change the sheets.

A post in which I get in some Cole time*

After being unconscious for about 9 hours, I awoke feeling fairly refreshed. Cole and I had talked about going to the flea market this morning, but I was the first one up so I just sat quietly for a bit and enjoyed the silence. I felt singularly useless in Lisa's house. I can't use a coffee maker so I couldn't make coffee. Cole doesn't eat breakfast really, and Mom eats like one egg, so there wasn't any point in making a big breakfast. I couldn't even attempt to navigate the complexities of preparing food for Ava without Cole to instruct. All of her food is highly specialized and requires distilled water and sterilized utensils in addition to the custom modifications necessary for it to appeal to her specific likes and dislikes. I hadn't brought a book. So I basically sat around with my teeth in my mouth until Mom got up.

When Mom and the baby got up, I checked in with Cole, who was awake, but going through the wake-up process he inherits from his mother. Apparently it's kind of like de-pressurization after deep-sea diving. If you rush the stages harm occurs. But Cole was apparently ready to get out of the house for a while and was ready to leave for the flea market in record time. I was glad I had sneaked a muffin earlier.

I set the GPS and we headed for Columbia. I had asked Mother about going with us, but after yesterday she just wasn't up to going with Ava. That's quite a road show to put together two days in a row. It's so much easier to just stay home where she can pretty much run amok without earning censure, destroying property, or endangering her life (usually). I felt kind of bad about leaving Mom with the baby again, but Cole doesn't get a lot of just Cole time. Ava demands so much attention and care that it's usually all about her. I don't get to see a lot of him, so it was nice to just take him off for a while. Also, Mother and I are going to Atlanta for five days together in just two weeks anyway. Frankly, I needed a break for a bit after yesterday. I love Ava, but she just wears you out. Going 24/7 while not at my best was just a bit much for me.

Cole and I headed for Starbucks for coffee first, which is kind of a ritual for us, and then headed on to the flea market. I didn't see much glass today, and Cole never lets me buy him anything, so we didn't come home with much. I got a nice kitchen grater, and a copy of Run Fat Boy Run. I had been wanting to see it for some time. I adore Simon Pegg. I could buy it as cheaply as I could rent it today.

By the time we left the flea market, we were both pretty hungry. We tooled around Columbia for a bit, and finally ended up at a huge Chinese buffet there that I like. Lisa hates it, so Cole doesn't get to eat there very often and that turned out great. We gorged ourselves and then headed home. By the time I got there, I was feeling like I needed a nap. But the baby was up and we played with a delighted Ava until it was time for her nap. Since she's a toddler, she's in that stage where she likes to be in control of things. I was pretending that she was throwing me around in the floor when she grabbed my shirt, much to her delight.

I headed on home at nap time, and was profoundly grateful to come home to a clean house and (mostly) quiet kitties. I had a great time, but I think I just over-did this weekend. I had a short buddy visit and then collapsed onto the couch. I remained comatose through the rest of the afternoon and most of the Fox Sunday night line-up, only shifting to run to Gourmet Pizza for supper and turn down the bed. Work starts again tomorrow. But a three day weekend next weekend (yay!), and then I work two days and Mom and I head to Atlanta for five. So some much-needed R&R coming up...

A post in which I don't take it as easily as I probably should

I did wake up this morning feeling better. Since I went to bed so early, and had slept so much of the afternoon, I was up pretty early too. I decided just to go ahead and get ready to go to Chapin. I did take some time out for coffee on the porch. I was thinking about Amanda today. I really like her. I think she's good for Justin - she kind of drags him out of himself and helps keep him from being quite so fussy. She used to be a friend-in-law, but I really think of her as a friend now myself. I think a lot of her, and I'm thinking I should tell her somehow.

Coffee over, I threw some things in a bag, settled up the house, and headed for Chapin. I left early enough that I was there by about 10am, much to my mother's surprise. The last time I came down though, she was disappointed that I wasn't there earlier. So it was good that I was there early today.

Ava is entering the 'Terrible Twos' with a vengeance. Her new word is "no", which she uses as often as possible, and as a response to most any question. Getting her ready to go anywhere is quite an undertaking. But four bags and a sweaty 20 minutes getting the elaborate car-seat installed later, we were ready to go. By the time we got to town, it was time for lunch. We went to Ryan's, where at least everything was vinyl-coated. They are used to having children there. Of course, since we wanted her to eat, Ava refused to eat most anything. Lisa existed the first 17 years of her life with no visible nutrient intake other than Hershey's chocolate bars and the occasional Cheez-it cracker though, so this wasn't really a surprise. Of course, Mom barely got a bite in between begging Ava to eat and trying to control her more exuberant attempts to escape and impose general mayhem.

Mom wanted to go to Frankie's Fun Park today with Cole and Ava, which was fine. But she thought that there would be things there for Ava to do, and there simply weren't. The one ride that Ava could have played on was broken. But we were already there, so Mom told Cole and I just to go on and play putt-putt. Frankie has quite a racket going. $36 later, we had permission to play 54 holes of putt-putt - no volume discount, no package deal. $6 per person, per game, and if you don't like it, tough. Cole loves to play, and we are actually fairly evenly matched, but by the time we started the third course the combination of the blazing sun (it was 96 degrees out), the drive, and my recent convalescence was beginning to take its toll on yours truly.

Meanwhile Mom had been chasing Ava around for two hours. She is walking well now, and is no longer content to sit in the stroller - she wants to be out and about - NOW. Unlike my arthritic-hipped mother, she has apparently unlimited energy, and a marked predilection to be heading towards the nearest source of possibly lethal peril at every moment. Cole and I finished up and I managed to crawl inside to the blessed air conditioning and procure Icee's for Cole and myself. We found Mom and hemmed Ava into a recently cleared booth (we are in the height of birthday season - lots of little New Year's celebrations out there running around) and collapsed for a minute to drink our drinks before heading back home. We strapped a fussy nap-needing baby into the car seat and made haste. I have to say that was the best Icee I have ever had in my life.

We got home and got Ava down for a late nap amid much protestations. We all collapsed.

By the time she got up it was time to think about supper, and by the time we got her changed, packed, dressed, and ready to go, we were hungry. I voted for someplace local to avoid another 30 minute trek into Columbia (Lisa has a marked aversion to paved roads, and won't live on one if at all possible). We ended up going to a local Mexican place that had excellent food, not that Mom got to eat much of it. Ava was fully charged after her nap, and ready to literally climb the walls, or barring that, the back of the booth at least. She's a happy child, but a very noisy happy child. We spent much of the meal saying "no", "stop that", "be quiet", and begging her to eat something as opposed to throwing the rice like confetti and mastering the intricacies of the belt holding her (eventually) in the high chair. Sigh. I have lived to become that which I despised when I waited tables. I have become one of those people that come in with a screaming child that throws food all over the floor. The chilaquiles were delicious though, and they were really nice about it considering the disaster we left behind.

At home we let Ava run around for a little bit. Cole talked to Lisa on the phone when she called to check in, and then Mom started getting Ava for bed. By this time, I had a full tummy and was absolutely done in. Just watching Mom rock the baby was putting me to sleep. I was too tired to visit after she put the baby down. I had to go on to bed.

A post in which I feel bad

I woke up this morning feeling like shit. I've been nursing a cold for the last two weeks, but really didn't do anything last night to make me feel this bad. I finally decided I would just have to go to the doctor. Unsurprisingly, it turned out that this was not a cold, but an upper respiratory infection. I used to have a lot of these in the Summer, but after my surgery last year, I don't get sick nearly as often as I used to.

I got my prescriptions filled and went back to work. The pharmacy hadn't put the lid back on my cough medicine very well, and so I promptly dumped cough syrup all over my pants, my desk, the carpet, etc. They pharmacist told me he couldn't replace the medicine because it was a controlled substance, so I was just screwed basically. I have about a third of the bottle left. I had a conference call to do, and I did it, but I started feeling worse and worse. Finally, I just went on home. I hit the sofa and passed out for the afternoon.

I had called Lisa this afternoon for an Executive Mommy Decision on whether or not I should come down. I hate to disappoint Cole, especially since Lisa told me he canceled other plans because I was coming this weekend. Since the doc said that I wouldn't be contagious any more by tomorrow, Lisa said to come on.

When I woke up I felt a little better, and threw a load of laundry in. I wanted to wash my magic shorts to wear this weekend. I got these plaid shorts a couple of years ago, and noticed by accident a week or so ago that the plaid somehow magically breaks up the line of my thighs and makes them look more slim, so I've been wearing them ever since.

I moved the wash to the dryer, but that's about all I did tonight besides eat gratuitous amounts of junk food. I decided this afternoon that I need extra calories for the purpose of disease-fighting. I'm trying to rally my energy, and hoping that I'm going to feel a lot better by tomorrow...

A post in which I do some driving and go out to dinner

I spent a good amount of time going up and down highway 85 today. I went to work. Then I had the house appraised , so I drove home and then back to work afterwards. After work, I drove home, and then drove back to Pelham again to take Amanda and Justin to dinner.

The visit and appraisal were good excuses to clean up last night, and I had done a quick run-through to straighten up a bit more this morning, but I never finished dusting the living room. Still, the place does look better, and that makes me feel better.

I really enjoyed the visit tonight. Justin showed me the new (and last, sadly) Depression Glass book from Gene Florence, and we looked up a few of my pieces. The prices on all collectibles are down right now because of the economy, and this is particularly the case with Depression Glass since there aren’t a lot of new collectors entering the marketplace at the moment. In general, I stick with Florence’s advice on what to buy. He says buy things because you love them, not because of their worth.

We had a lovely dinner at Sushi-Masa (as usual) although they forgot to order one of the appetizers we were going to get. Not that we didn’t have plenty of food – I always over-order there. It’s nice to layer new memories onto Masa. I sat there thinking for a minute about all the times I have spent there. I’ve been eating there for years. I thought about when Gail and I used to eat there when we first started eating sushi, and later on Michael and I eating there every Valentine’s Day. I remembered the year that they turned off all the lights and brought out ice cream with a candle on it for Michael's birthday. Of course now I take Anna there, and I thought about the night she wanted to order a second monk fish liver because she was so taken with it. I felt old. They were good memories, but I’ve been feeling very Yoda-esque recently.

After supper we went for ice cream, which was nice. It’s good for me to get out of my routine and go do stuff during the week. It made for a nice change.

Headed home after ice cream we made a run through the Goodwill, which was surprisingly still open. Also surprisingly we left without buying any dishes, despite their having a big stock of some retro plates that Justin really liked.

We visited for a bit when we got home and then they had to go. I had a really good time though, and it was great to see them.

A post in which I ponder societal sadness

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the pervasiveness of sadness in our society; movies in particular. I post comments on the Mountain Xpress website in the movie section every now and again, and have gotten into a bit of a debate about this with Ken Hanke, their movie reviewer. He is no doubt far better educated about film than I am, but is an ardent defender of the sad movie.

Basically, he seems to feel that sad movies are the ones sad people want to see – I wouldn’t know, I don’t go to the movies when I’m sad. He has also espoused the belief that sad movies seem to in some way help people to deal with their own feelings of sadness. It’s actually pretty natural for me to know how to deal with my own sadness, so that doesn’t work as an explanation for me, with the possible exception of psychopaths who need to be shown how to behave.

At particular we are debating the virtues of The Hours, widely lauded as a work of art, and nominee for nine Academy Awards. It was also one of the most depressing movies I have ever seen. It wallowed in the abounding misery that every character was living in, and culminated in the lovingly detailed suicide of Virginia Woolf. I don’t understand how this is entertainment. I can’t understand why anyone would want to spend two hours watching someone else’s descent into mental illness and suicide. To me it’s like slowing down to take a really good long look at a bad car accident, but apparently this viewpoint makes me simple-minded.

It’s not that I deplore all sad movies. There are even some tragedies that I enjoy. But I need a little distance. The distance of black and white, or a stylized death, as in Dark Victory. Or the distance of remote history and stylization, as in Cleopatra with Elizabeth Taylor. Or the distance of hyperbole, as in Female Trouble. Somehow, the immediacy of The Hours is what my problem is. It’s voyeuristic. It’s like reading some mental patient’s diary.

So I’ve been trying to understand this love of misery as entertainment. I don’t think we can have such a large vein of schadenfreude in this country, or at least I hope we don’t. What I see, and have been argued down on, is a coarsening of culture. Apparently we now need to see a person cut off their own foot, or put rocks in their pockets and walk in to a river to drown in order to feel anything. I don’t want to go to the movies and have PTSD later. But apparently these things don’t bother other people.

So when I go to the movies I am usually given a choice between the moronic and the morose. They’re either movies that were made for 14 year old boys, or movies you need therapy after, as a rule. No points for pointing out that Twilight was written for 14 year old girls. (And apparently many homosexuals, but I digress.) There was a time when the movies were about escaping reality, and I guess that’s what I miss. Now apparently if you’re a serious director, your task is to hold a magnifying glass up to reality. Find the grittiest and grimmest subject matter you can find, and see if you can make it still grimmer.

I’m pondering what this says about the world today. It seems to be all or nothing in so many things. And in yet another way, I don’t seem to fit in anymore. I’m thinking a lot about a quote from George Carlin “Doesn’t anyone just take a walk anymore?”

I asked an English professor in Columbia once why all 'literature' was so sad. He said he wouldn't describe it as sad, but that people don't change unless they face adversity. Books about happy people aren't transformative, and thus usually not literature. I don't know about most folks, but I face a bellyfull of adversity every day. I don't need it in my off hours. But maybe that just makes me simple, and unwilling to improve myself.

With so much sadness in the world, I just can’t see standing in line to pay money to stuff myself with still more.

A post in which I clean up a bit

And it was badly needed too.

Justin called today. He has just bought the last Depression Glass book that Gene Florence and his wife will be doing. Apparently Gene Florence is retiring. What we shall ever do now, I can’t imagine. His format was by far the best for collectors. He and Amanda wanted to come down to see me, that we may gloat over this last glorious epistle from the master. So tomorrow is going to be a busy day.

At first, I thought “Screw it, I’m not cleaning. I don’t feel like it, and things really don’t look that bad.” But after eating a salad and playing some Hexic, I thought “Well, the house is looking shabby, and it is going to be valued tomorrow. Plus Justin’s place is always spotless.” So I decided I needed to clean up, as much for myself as for them. I do feel better when the house looks nice; and I already had a head start on the bathroom from last weekend.

So I spent a couple of hours wielding the vacuum, dust mop, and dust cloth. Things really did look better when I got done, although there are some things I really need to get out of the house, I’m just not sure how. The glass cabinets really need to have all the glass cleaned and the shelves dusted, but I just didn’t have time tonight. It’s one of those things I keep meaning to do. I guess I’ll get around to it some time.

I thought about whipping up some nibbles, then thought about feeding Amanda (the nothingatarian - no vegetables, no potatoes, no cheese) and thought again. Hopefully we can go out to supper.

A post in which I go buy cat litter

Yeah, life is just that exciting at the moment.

The appraiser called me today, on my way home from work, and was trying to give me phone numbers and stuff. Turns out I have to meet her at the house for the appraisal (there goes another lunch hour, sigh) because she has to go inside. And my house looks pretty much like it has been rolled in cat hair and dust. Still, I suppose that shouldn’t affect the actual appraisal value, although I hate for people to see the house at less than its best. That’s become kind of a perpetual cycle at this point. I don’t clean because I don’t have people in, and I don’t have people in because the house isn’t clean. The last time I really cleaned was when Fran came from Minnesota.

After work I finally broke down and went to buy cat litter. The environmentally friendly, flushable litter I use is hella expensive. Thirty-two bucks a bag now. That’s just crazy. But it does keep my house from smelling like cat pee.

With further virtue, I went home and ate a salad and some nuts for dinner.

Eve called tonight, wanting me to price some plates for her that BB left. It was actually pretty interesting. I was able to find them online, but they weren’t terribly valuable. The replacements.com values them at $50 each, but the values on there are pretty high. They were selling on Ebay for about $15-$20 each. Still it was good to be able to find them.

I’m going to Chapin this weekend to see Mother, Cole, and Ava. I’m pretty broke, but I’ve been broker. It should be OK. I’ll be really glad if I ever get this last credit card paid off. But of course vacation with Mother is coming up, and I always spend a lot of money then; and then Christmas is right behind. Sigh.

A post in which I eat a bunch of pizza

But not as much as I used to.

I called the bank again today about re-financing the house, and finally got the woman on the phone who’s actually handling it. She says they have to appraise the house since I want money out for a new roof. I was like whatever. Nothing is easy. I only applied for this in March.

When I got off work tonight, I was starving. I decided I wanted pizza, and lots of it. So I waddled on in to the pizza trough/buffet over on Woodruff, Steve B’s. That’s a bad habit I got into last year, and I’m hoping that I won’t fall into it again, but I guess once in a while is OK. I did probably eat a bit less than I used to, only 500 pounds or so as opposed to the usual 1,000-1,200.

Conveniently, it’s located near the Dollar Tree, so I went in there to get some toothbrushes. I seem to be out of everything all of the sudden. So I browsed around the dollar store, feeling (falsely) like I have some money. I thought about Mother when I was in there. She just loves the Dollar Tree.

I went home and just vegged on video games.

A post in which I am a pretty good boy

I was a very good boy today. I did some cleaning on the bathroom, cooked, did some laundry, went to the grocery store, took out the trash, and ate all my meals at home.

My virtue was greatly aided by an Angela Lansbury marathon on TCM. Since there weren’t tons of “star vehicles” for her, they ended up showing some movies in which she was just a peripheral character, but some interesting films.

I watched Tenth Avenue Angel, which was kind of a schmaltzy mix of Miracle on 34th Street, The Waltons, and The Catered Affair. Next was a western called A Lawless Street - yeah, I got a good bit of work done during that one. They showed The Manchurian Candidate, but I ended up missing it. I would really like to see that movie sometime, even though I have never been that into political intrigue. Robert Osborne claims that it’s one of “The Essentials”, though, so I’d like to give it a shot. Of course, I have never cared for Citizen Kane, which is supposed to be one of the best movies ever made.

By evening they were apparently kind of scraping the barrel for Angela movies though – they showed Bedknobs and Broomsticks, which I love, but which I don’t really think would be considered a classic by most people.

Around the time that I had finally finished up supper and could sit down for a bit, dana called me. She and Miss Kat were on their way home from this month’s discussion munch with LOCK, and asked if I would like to come visit for a while, which I did. I don’t usually go places later on Sunday night, but I had been by myself all day. It was good to get out and enjoy some of my day off. I felt as if I had worked most of the day today, not that everything didn’t need to be done.

So I had a nice visit with Miss Kat and dana, and came home to flop into my clean sheets with a feeling of accomplishment and reward.

A post in which I go to a lovely pool party

Today was the big day. And I had a lot to do. Since I stayed in last night, I was up early. I went on to the flea market and got all my produce this morning – I ended up buying so much that they gave me a box to carry it in. That was a first. I also got another little Glasbake baker for a couple of dollars, a pound cake pan like Eve’s that I had been looking for forever, and some cereal. So it was a red-letter day at the flea market. When I got home I put everything away and lay around for a bit, but ultimately I had to get moving and straighten up the house some since Nicole was coming over.

I had talked to Christina about whether or not to bring anything today, and she left it up to me. I thought about making some bars, but then thought it would be too hot for that, and finally just ended up not making anything. I would have been rushed, and would have had to heat up the house, and basically I just didn’t feel like it. Of course when I got to the party I thought of the perfect thing to bring – a batch of caponata would have been great, and I had seen some beautiful Asian eggplants just that morning, but I wasn’t thinking about that then. I’ll take it next time.

I started watching Annie this morning while I was straightening up, mostly to see how Kathy Bates did as Miss Hannigan. She was pretty good, but played it too straight for me. I really liked Carol Burnett’s performance a lot more, but then I guess for me that would be pretty much par for the course. I know I have wondered lately why some works survive and others don’t. With Annie, it’s pretty much a no-brainer. Whatever the financial status (and since we’re in the new Depression, I guess the timing makes more sense now than it did in 1999, when this version was made), and whatever your age, aren’t we all waiting for someone to come to us and say “You always belonged with me, and I have always loved you.”? Yeah, I thought about that for a while today.

Then As Good As It Gets came on, and I started watching that. I almost didn’t get ready on time because I was so caught up in it. Watching that movie now, from an older perspective, makes some of the profundities available to me that weren’t before. I need to see if that’s available in OnDemand. I’d really like to sit and watch it again.

Eventually, I did get everything together, and was ready by the time Nicole got to the house. We ran a few errands and headed to the party. This one was much more mixed than the last one I went to. I was rather disconcerted to see kids playing in the pool when we got there. It turns out that Christina’s friend since 6th grade, her husband, and their kids were there. At first I have to admit to being non-plussed, but it really turned out to be fine. The kids were 3 and 6, so double-entendres still pretty much went over their heads. Plus they were well-behaved and nice, which always helps. All things considered, it was pretty smooth.

Then I met daddy. His name is George. And I kind of fell in love with him a little bit. Good looking, funny, smart, a great dad, nice – and local. I had a very enjoyable conversation with him in the pool about art, of all things. It almost made it hard for me to objectify him for his looks. I had to hate his wife. I told her later , and asked her if she realized she was married to the Loch Ness Monster. She said she did, but was spoiled for him now. Lucky her.

There were two bizarrenesses in the evening. One was that there was a person there who in the past has had problems with Nicole. They were both on their best behavior, and Nicole really was bucking for an Oscar by the end of the evening, but it made me a tad nervous from time to time. The other oddness was that a friend of mine (whom I really do like a lot) had brought her new boyfriend to the party with her. He was significantly younger than her, and looked even younger than his actual age. That, I am kind of used to dealing with. But he was – odd. He acted like a much younger guy. When I first saw him, I thought, “Who brought their teen-ager with them?” He looked about sixteen or so, but acted even younger than that. He happily played with the kids most of the afternoon (leaving hunk-dad free to talk to me, so I wasn’t complaining), but afterwards we were kind of flipping a coin to see who had baby-sitting duty next. This was complicated by the fact that my friend left the party for a bit, and we were kind of stuck there with him. It was just a very strange situation. He was apparently very into video games, and spoke in a kind of lingo that just let me know we had absolutely nothing in common. I got the impression he had wandered off from a sci-fi convention somewhere. It felt kind of like when your awkward cousin moves prematurely to the adult table at Thanksgiving. Eventually, my friend came back, and he spent most of the rest of the evening by her side. But it was undeniably strange. I just couldn’t figure out the attraction, because the woman he's with is actually pretty cool and with-it.

It was a lovely party though, and we all had a good time. It was good to see the gang and get to talk to everyone. The water was lovely. We grilled out, ate supper, had cocktails, and talked and laughed into the evening.

A post in which I have a quiet Friday night

I was very ready for the weekend. But I also decided to be a little more quiet than last week. I have been feeling bad this week. Plus I know I'll be partying it up tomorrow night at Jennifer and Christina’s pool party. So I stayed in tonight. I compromised by eating junk for dinner. I got sleepy around 10:30, so I went on to bed.

A post in which I eat Brazilian food for supper

I slept for over 10 hours last night, only getting up for the necessary a couple of times. I woke up feeling better today. Not great. But better.

My boss’s boss was in from California for a couple of days, and sat right behind me all day today. Yeah, that’ll give you the creepin willies after a while.

After work, I was finally, blessedly off to get my hair cut. I am really tired of looking like Lyle Lovett. We had planned to go over to Café Paulista Grille for dinner tonight, and drove over to the house to get Billy and Ben. The restaurant, in an old Waffle House, is surprisingly nice and roomy inside. When they took the huge counter out, there was a lot more floor space. The food was good, although with the exception of the spicy sour tomato relish they served, I didn’t find it particularly exceptional. But then a lot of Brazilian food, like Cuban food, is very meat-centric, so a lot of the menu was barred for yours truly.

Then we got to dessert.

The woman who runs the place makes all her own breads, pastries, and cakes by hand in the restaurant. The desserts were phenomenal, although I’m not sure how Brazilian they were. I settled on a torte of layered yellow cake and whipped caramel icing, covered with chocolate icing and slivered almonds all over the outside. We also split a huge rum ball (a bit bigger than a golf ball), with pieces of mango and rich chunks of dark chocolate in the whipped center. I am not a rum ball fan, but O. M. G.

We went back to Russ and Billy’s house to eat dessert and talk for a bit, but by about 9 I was done. As I headed home, I started to feel worse and worse. I don’t know if it was the rich food (not the best idea), the smoking (which was absolutely a bad idea), or just doing too much, but by the time I got home, I was really ready to be in the bed.

A post in which I worry (again) about what we eat

The best article I have read about food in a long time. Simple, straightforward, not preachy, and to the point. Something's gotta give, folks.

The best summation I have read comes from In Defense of Food: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."

A post in which I am feeling rough

But I had to go to work anyway. I had the weekly report to put together, and write-offs to do. I actually had a fairly productive day, although I had two screamers in a row this morning.

I had my back cracked again at noon. I had the same great woman to do my massage today. Her name is Christie, and she is just super nice. That one place that wouldn’t give the last time gave today. I think they heard it out in reception. The doc says I only need to come in once every other week now, but that if my back gets tight again to let him know.

By the time I got off work, all I could think about was going to bed. I went straight home, talking to Miss Kat on the way. She had thoughtfully called to check on me. When I got home, I ate a potato (the leftovers from last Saturday have made delightful dinners this week) and some veggies, took pills, and went to bed.

Jinx was thrilled that I was home and still so soon.

A post in which I have a summer cold

Courtesy of James, I think.

I woke up this morning feeling a little fuzzy in the chest, but by the end of the day I felt worse.

I really debated the advisability of going to the movie tonight, but I had already inserted myself into Russ and Billy’s impossible schedule, and Anna had said she would go too, and the possibility of getting them all together again before the movie stopped screening in Greenville was remote. I wasn’t feeling too bad, so I went on. I met R&B for supper at Ni Hao, which was nice as usual. They had spring rolls again tonight (they haven’t the last two times I was in there), but they weren’t nearly as good they were before. They must be buying them frozen from a different supplier.

The movie was gorgeously animated - some of Miyazaki’s most beautiful work. The story I didn’t think was as good as Spirited Away, or as accessible as Kiki’s Delivery Service, but was nonetheless charming and enjoyable. Everyone seemed to appreciate it. I was surprised to find from Anna later that she had never seen a Miyazaki film before, despite her conspicuously esoteric tastes.

By the time the movie was over, though, I was ready to be home. I wasn’t feverish, but I was achy, uncomfortable, and ready for bed. I came home, took a knock-out pill, and went to bed.

A post in which Ponyo is playing!

I woke up this morning feeling tired. I really over-did it this weekend, but I did have a good time. I had some coffee on the porch and thought about this hectic (even more hectic than usual) social life I’ve been leading. I’m trying to distract myself from being lonely. I don’t know if that’s a healthy thing, or if I should be learning to live by myself. Or maybe that’s what I’m doing? I just know I’ve been hitting it pretty hard lately. When I slow down I get down. So I’m kind of running away from the depression monster at the mo. I’m just not sure how long I can keep it up.

For those of you who didn’t know this, I am a fairly big Hayao Miyazaki fan. I own Howl’s Moving Castle, and Spirited Away (which I personally believe is his best movie). I was excited to learn that he had a new movie being released this summer, called Ponyo. I resolved to find out when the video release was so that I could see it. Howl didn’t screen here. The closest showing was in Charlotte.

I was pretty tickled when I went online today and found out that Ponyo is playing here! It’s only showing in one theater, and I’m sure it won’t be here for long, but I put out the critter call immediately for some friends to go see it with me. Russ and Billy responded (I have turned them on to anime, just a bit), and Anna says she’s going. So I’m psyched! Greenville makes little tiny steps forward, in spite of so much local indifference to anything even remotely artistic.

When I got off work I had to go to the store, since I didn’t do it this weekend, and I’m running out of stuff. I finally paid retail for some fabric softener, though it chafed me to do it. Then I went home, had some supper, and finished up my pasta salad. It turned out pretty good, but I’m always surprised at how much dressing it takes to get it to have any flavor. So much for low-fat…

I did some laundry, and called to RSVP to a pool party at Jennifer and Christina’s house this weekend. That will be fun, and I’ll get to see Kimbley and Laura. I chatted with Nicole a bit on line, then hit the hay.

A post in which we are rollin' on the river

I had been looking forward to today all week, but was sorry I had stayed out so late last night when I got up this morning. But once I made some coffee and started moving around I felt OK. I was really too tired to get up, but was afraid if I got back in the bed I would oversleep, so I got up and made coffee.

I rounded up my stuff and was on the road in time for a quick run through the Barnyard flea market in Duncan, but didn’t see anything I couldn’t live without. I did see what I think was a Diamond Quilted plate, but I couldn’t find it again to verify. I didn’t want to be late and hold up the group, so I just went on to Jeff and James’s house. Where I was the first arrival - again. But they were up, and we were all excited about the trip. I was glad to be there and not feel rushed.

We headed off for the river in a great mood. The ride up to the Green River is beautiful, and in the company of good friends and pretty weather it’s a real pleasure. We got to the water in pretty good time. We all checked in, and then I got in and listened to everyone gasp and carry on when they got in the water. The river comes down from the NC mountains so the water is pretty brisk, but as warm as the day was the water temperature wasn’t a real problem for me. One of the friends that James invited, though, is apparently quite the dilettante. She was having a bit of a rough time with things like bugs. And water temperature. And being outside, from what I could tell. But aside from being perhaps a bit girly for the trip, she was a pretty good sport.

When I have done this with the bears before, it was a fairly relaxing trip down. You just kind of float down at the river’s pace. But James was too excited to wait to float down. He was always padding towards the rapid places, eager to get to the next part of the trip. And Amanda of course weighs about as much as a piece of thistledown. The river just took her down like a leaf. So if I just floated along, I was soon way behind everyone else. Well half of the fun is going down with your group and talking and stuff on the way. As a consequence, I spent a lot of time during the first half of the trip paddling to catch up to everyone. They also wanted to take a big cooler, which of course Justin and I knew wasn’t a great idea, having made the trip before. So I got a rest period for a while after the cooler turned over and had to be re-filled and re-tied. Still, paddling or not, there are much worse places to be than on the river with your friends on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. It did sprinkle rain a bit on us in patches, but we were already wet; and since there was no lighting they didn't pull us off the water. That was the important part.

At the half-way point we got out for lunch. I hadn’t brought a whole big meal or anything, because I hadn’t realized that we would be getting out at the car mid-way. I had resigned myself to potato chips for lunch, but the tiny lunch counter actually a “veggie” plate – grilled cheese, fries, slaw, and dill pickles. I’ve had better meals (the bread for the sandwich was notably stale, dry, and I think the cheese was some kind of ‘cheese-food’), but it was better than just chips. It didn’t hurt that I was ravenous. By this point, our girly girl was ready to get indoors, I think. She and her friend decided to head for home. The rest of us decided to go the distance.

The second half of the trip was actually more fun. The river was moving faster, and there were more rapids places. They were supposed to be running the dam at 100%, today, but by the time we got close to the end of the trip, the water was noticeably lower. But we had gotten the hang of it by then, and we didn’t have too many problems. We had jettisoned the cooler at the half-way point. I had developed a strategy of getting ahead and then letting the others catch up, so I wasn’t behind as much.

By the time we got out of the water though, we were ready to get out, I think. We were tired, and tired of being wet and muddy. And tired of smoking wet cigarettes, although James is a marvel in that regard. He can be soaking, and actually playing in the water while he smokes; but his cigarette seems to miraculously remain bone dry. A-mazing. I can look at a cigarette in the water, and it is soaked through.

On the way back, we were pretty quiet. I was thinking about how sweet it is to see James and Jeff together. James is such a beautiful man, and Jeff has been so good for him. It does me good to see them together. I’m really happy for them. But at the same time, it hurts my heart a bit. I would really like to have that for myself again, and it just doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. I guess fueling part of that was the last time I went tubing on the Green River, it was with Michael. We used to go with the bear group every year when they used to go.

I was also kind of thinking about what would happen if James had a seizure right in the middle of driving us all down the highway at 70+mph. Staying vigilant and planning a strategy was fairly distracting for a while.

Fortunately, Justin roused us all out of our fugue state by asking about dinner. They decided that we would have fish since I was there, and James volunteered me to cook. I wasn’t wild about the idea at first, but it was actually fun. I love to cook for people, and cooking on the fly, out of just what’s on hand, is always an adventure. Justin had some okra in his fridge, so we fried that up, and I put some tilapia fillets in the oven to poach. James put some rolls in, and steamed some broccoli. Justin had made his famous wee lemons for dessert. We actually ended up having quite a nice meal. Best of all, I get the fun of cooking for other people without having to clean up afterwards. Plus I didn’t have to spend any more money, which was good. I’ve been spending money I hadn’t budgeted to have my back worked on, and I have another appointment next week.

Of course, since it was Sunday night, the television had to be on. We watched last week’s episode of True Blood, and then it was time for this week’s show. I watched about half of it, and decided to head on home. I was tired, and it’s a school day tomorrow.

When I got home and go to bed though, I couldn’t sleep. I was so tired I had just crawled in the bed with river gook, sunscreen, and all still on me. But that wasn’t it. My brain was just too full of all the images and thoughts of the day. I finally put in some Sir David Attenborough and was able to go to sleep.

A post in which I have dinner at Russ and Billy's

I woke up this morning fairly drug out from last night, actually, but got up anyway. I’ll be gone all day tomorrow, so there were some things I really needed to get done today.

I went to the flea market, but no glass. I did go ahead and get my fruit for the week. I didn’t really need any produce. I’m making a pasta salad for lunch this week and already have mostly what I need.

When I got home, I was feeling drug out still, so I ate some breakfast and took a nap. I woke up about 1pm, and knew I had to kick it into gear. Russ had told me to be at their place at about 5 today. I turned on a movie and started cooking. I decided to make some of the double chocolate rice crispy treats I made for the camp-out, since I had all the stuff at the house, and they’re pretty easy. They’re also pretty messy. I got cleaned up from that while I was cooking the pasta for the pasta salad. I got my salad half done. I really needed to go to the store, but I had things I needed to do before I could leave. I decided to put the shopping off, did my house stuff, and went on over to Russ’s.

To Billy’s complete surprise. Apparently no one was showing up until 7pm, but they had forgotten to tell me. Oh well, there are worse things than having a couple of hours of down time with R&B.

Dinner was great. R&B are back on Weight Watchers, so they had set up a friendly dinner with grilled meat and veggies, and baked potatoes for those who wanted them. I have to say, a baked potato with all the trimmings sure did hit the spot for yours truly. Of course I ruined their meal by bringing copious amounts of gooey chocolate bars. Some other guests brought hot Mexican dip and chips as well. At first my treats weren’t going, and I figured I’d just take the rest of them to James and Jeff’s house tomorrow, but then later on they started disappearing, and then Russ informed me he was keeping the rest LOL. But they gave me all the baked potatoes and grilled veggies to take home with me, which I thought was an excellent trade. That’s a couple of dinners next week at the least.

Miss Kat had set this up as a demo for Greg, who is apparently interested in BDSM, but had never actually played that much. That really didn’t change. Miss Kat demonstrated a variety of toys on both me and dana, but Greg didn’t really show much interest in picking the toys up, getting the weight of them, or swinging them himself. That was a small part of the evening.

But we all got to see each other and socialize, which was lovely. It was a very nice evening.

A post in which it is movie night

Even though I had a short week this week, I was really ready to get out of work.

I got home, and just luxuriated in the fact that I don’t have to get up in the morning, although I probably will anyway.

I was just trying to decide how to spend my luxury of time when the phone rang. It was Miss Kat. I had thought about calling her and dana, but I knew they had been in Columbia working on the house last weekend, and thought they might want some couple time. But it turns out dana is still in Columbia, and has been all week. Miss Kat thoughtfully recorded Marked Woman for me during the Bette Davis marathon last weekend because of the bear party and all, so she invited me over to watch it tonight. Cool.

The movie was excellent. We munched out on chocolate and Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and just enjoyed talking and catching up since we hadn’t seen each other in two weeks. While I was there, Russ called, and they planned a get-together for tomorrow night, so that’s covered now too…

A post in which I get my back cracked

I have to admit I was fairly trepidatious about going to the chiropractor today. I had an hour of therapeutic massage before I saw the doctor, to loosen the muscles up enough so they could do an adjustment. I expected that to be a long hour, frankly. I like being massaged, but couldn’t imagine a whole hour of it. The masseuse was a tiny little blond girl, who frankly looked like the last vapid college frat girl, but I was mistaken in my first impression. She was very strong, older than I thought, and reads. Once we started talking I really liked her – she was very nice. The hour went by much more quickly than I could have imagined.

The doctor showed me the x-rays of my spine and neck. Apparently I have some arthritis in my neck, which is why it is stiff all the time. Dr. Lawson says that the massage therapy will help that, but because of calcium deposits, he can’t adjust my neck. Next he explained what he was going to do to my back, and how it would work. He did four different adjustments, but the key one, on the vertebra that is giving me problems, didn’t work. The others on surrounding ones did, and popped alarmingly. I did feel better, but that one place is still sore. I’m going back next Wednesday. I won’t say I’m a believer yet, but I did really feel better when I left the office. I noticed during the afternoon that my back actually feels straighter, although I guess that could be just in my mind. But I felt more loose and comfortable than I have in a while, and thanks to the massage, I can look further to the left than I have been able to in some time.

After work, I decided I wanted Chinese buffet. I had called Anna, because I was going to hi-jack her and take her to see GI Joe. It’s supposed to be really awful, but I’m kind of in the mood to watch things blow up. I still want to see Julie & Julia though. She turned me down. She has been very depressed, and missed her grandfather’s birthday party last weekend, so she was going to see him tonight.

I went to eat nasty Chinese buffet anyway at Ni Hao. I have eaten too much this week. I have to start cutting back severely and exercising again or I’ll start putting more weight back on. Sigh. But it was goooooood tonight.

I got home and decided to go on to bed. I’ve been up late the last two nights, and I’m exhausted. I was getting ready to lie down when Russ called. I was supposed to have my hair cut tonight, and completely forgot it. Dammit! And it really needs to be cut too. All I could do was apologize profusely. He’s going to work me in for next week. Until then, I have to suffer with the Big Hair.

I finally put in Persuasion tonight. The movie version, I think, assumes that you have read the book. I suppose I should have, but I haven’t. I found the movie fairly hard to follow, but I can tell I’ll like it a lot once I figure out what’s going on. Maybe I should pick up a copy of the book…

A visit with Dad and Eve

I’ve never been to a chiropractor before. Frankly, I’ve always been a bit skeptical about it, because once someone starts going I have never heard of them being released from treatment. But I want to go tubing this weekend, and my back is still sore. Plus I’m kind of afraid to do anything much right now for babying my back. There is a good clinic right down the road from work, I have heard. So when I got my second testimonial today from Terry, who sits behind me, I called and made and appointment.

I liked Dr. Lawson, and he made me feel like my back stuff was something he not only sees a lot of (nach), but could do something about as well. So he made some x-rays, and I have an appointment for a therapeutic massage and back-cracking tomorrow. The good news is he doesn’t think that going tubing this weekend will be a problem. I was happy about that.

Getting a massage on the company dime feels kind of like cheating, but my back is sore, and I’m telling myself that I’m not going to go forever. I’m just going to go when I need it. Then again, there are many proven benefits to therapeutic massage, and just because some ‘traditional’ doctors don’t prescribe it doesn’t mean it is without merit. It does seem like chiropractic care makes more sense for back problems than going to an MD, where they’re just going to give you some muscle relaxers until those don’t work, and then operate as a last resort. I’m of two minds, but I’m open to some help. Plus Billy swears by it for his back. Although he is having problems now, in the past it has helped him a lot. Plus I respect Terry and Casey, who sang the praises of Lawson Chiropractic.

I called Eve tonight about going to dinner, both to see if she was back, and because she is usually the motivator in their dinner plans. We agreed to meet over at Southern Fried Green Tomatoes off Congaree Road.

I got there early and wandered into the mall for a minute or two while I was waiting. I was trying to remember on the way over how long it had been since I had been in a mall, and I guess it was the last time I went to Charlotte to see Lee and Clayton. Lee always says Dillard’s has the best sales, so I went in there. They did have some nice lounging shorts on sale for half price (which was still really too high), so even though I didn’t really need any more lounging shorts I got them. Lounging shorts are so much more comfortable than even knit shorts, and plus I can answer the door or go out on the porch in them without feeling creepy. So I put $18 back into the economy.

Dinner was good. I hadn’t eaten at that place before, but it was above the bar for a meat-and-three, which is basically what it was. The biscuits were wonderful. I took two home, although I really shouldn’t have since I’m not exercising this week.

After dinner we went back to the house for a visit. I felt Dad out on the Cindy and Paul situation. I had planned to flatly ask him what it would take for him to reconcile; but at the mere mention he started rumbling and I backed off without getting to what I wanted to know. We talked about Lisa then, and about Cole. They just spent the week with him last week, and were full of praise for him. Dad really wants to help him get a good start in life, which I’m glad about.

Politics came up, and for my dad he was (fairly) reasonable. He did concede some points to me, and we did find some things we agreed about – both fairly shocking developments; but as usual, eventually, the conversation became rancorous. I am ashamed to admit I tweaked his nose pretty hard about some facts that I knew he didn’t have. The difference was that before, Dad never knew when to stop the discussion without it becoming a shouting match. He did yell some tonight, and insisted on playing a video for me on YouTube about the bail-out program, which he is of course foaming at the mouth about. Honestly, though, that was my fault. I tried to get the last word, and I was actually pretty snotty about it. I should have known that I’ll never have the last word while there is breath in his body, LOL. So he got the last word, and then we moved on and talked about other things. I hugged him before I left. All in all, I felt like it was a good visit, for us.

I went home with my biscuits, feeling like a pretty good son, all things considered.

A post in which things are a little more normal

Well as normal as they get for me anyway.

Well my I could get up this morning so I had to go back to work. My back was still sore, but at least I was mobile.

I called Dad to see if he wanted to have dinner tonight, and to make sure he knew I wasn't mad at him or anything, but Eve was in Chapin baby-sitting for Lisa today, and things didn't work out.

I got home, still obsessed with Hexic. I played for a while and then chatted on Bear411 for a bit.

I talked to my buddy Chip in Columbia. It is always good to talk to him. I also talked to Dan in Asheville. He is a real sweetheart. Whether anything comes of it or not, I’d like to meet him.

I caught the end of My Fair Lady, and started watching Love in the Afternoon on TCM (also with Audrey Hepburn) but couldn’t get into it, so I switched off to Family Guy and went on to bed.

A post in which I am down in my back*

I woke up this morning with my back screwed up. I tried to get up and it took three tries. I had some problems last Sunday, and again yesterday, but usually after I lie down for a while on my wonderful memory foam mattress (aka The Marshmallow) I feel much better. That didn’t work last night.

I called into work, and cripped to the sofa.

Enterprisingly, I did find out a way to get a buddy visit without hurting my back.

I basically got nothing accomplished today, except eating lots more crap, and obsessively playing Hexic all day.

Dad called tonight, inviting me for dinner, but I was all drug out from the day, and was not in any fit state to leave the house, so I had to say no. I think he was offended, but I just couldn't make myself presentable in time to go.

A post in which a busy day frees up considerably

Today was set up to be a very busy day. I had been invited to a brunch thing by the guy I had talked to some at work. I had a birthday party for Jack (Anna’s step-dad), which I was kind of invited to when things didn’t work out with Anna Friday night. Also, Miss Kat’s birthday was today, but she and dana were working on the house in Columbia. Russ had told me that they would get in touch with me when they heard from Miss Kat.

I woke up bleary after two late nights in a row, but texted Mike, the guy from work, and started stirring around a bit to try to look semi-presentable. That was a struggle, considering that I had gotten to bed at 4:30am.

I didn’t hear back from Mike. As usual when I’ve been drinking the night before, I was starving. I was craving lox and cream cheese terribly, but I put off going out until I was ravenous. Rather than drive across town (as I should have) to Publix, I just ran to the Bi-Lo near my house. They had no lox, and only like 6 packs of bagels. But they were baking garlic bread. It smelled so good I ended up buying garlic bread and other assorted garbage. I then went home and had a bean-feast of crap.

While I was waiting to hear back from Mike, I turned on Lolita, since it was in OnDemand for TCM and I hadn’t seen it before. Of course after that meal I was asleep in about 10 minutes. I woke up as the movie ended, but that’s the great thing about OnDemand. You can just run it again. So I did. About a half hour in, Jack called to tell me Anna was still under the weather, so his birthday thing was cancelled today.

I watched the movie again, did some domestic stuff, and hauled off the recycling. I actually felt much better when I started moving around. Mike called later in the afternoon to say he had been to Atlanta the night before, and was stuck in traffic this morning after there was a wreck on 85, which was why I hadn't heard from him. I ate lunch, did some cooking, and decided to go ahead and get cleaned up so I would be ready for tonight. But I didn’t hear from Russ and Billy.

I eventually got in touch, and they explained that Miss Kat wasn’t going to call them unless she felt like doing something. They had gone on to the movies this afternoon. We agreed to meet for dinner, and they showed up at Pho Noodleville with a very hung over Vince, another friend of ours. Vince and I dated for a minute back as the earth cooled, when he was on a break from his lover Brian. Brian is in Scotland right now. Vince is absolutely beautiful, and a very sweet guy, but I’d probably kill him if I had to live with him. Still, it was nice to see him at dinner. He had been all over the place at the party last night and we hadn’t talked that much.

After dinner we went back to their place for dessert and some socializing. They wanted to turn on the TV, of course, since apparently the upstate grinds to a halt when True Blood comes on. That’s fine, I just prefer to talk. So I watched some TV for a bit and then went on home.

A post in which it is a busy day*

Dad called me last night. He and Eve have been in Virginia all week this week with Cole, but are taking him back today. I met them for breakfast to see him for a minute before they had to take him back. After last night I was a little ragged around the edges, but made it there by 9 as agreed.

Breakfast went pretty well. I had brokered a tiny peace offering last week. I got a picture of Brenden for them from Paul. It was a disappointing picture quality-wise, but I was encouraged. They didn't have much to say about it because Cole was there, but I tried.

They ate breakfast at a place called Mama Steve's while they were gone, which they found very amusing, as did I. They ended up bringing me back a mug from there, which was cool, and I really liked it. I'm getting quite a mug collection going though. I have like 2o, and since I seldom use more than two, I'm kind of thinking I should go through and be Ruthless With My Discards.

After breakfast I took Cole off with me to the flea market to give him a break, and to spend a bit of time just one-on-one with him. We had a talk, and walked around, but didn't stay long because it was really hot. I ran him back over to Eve and Dad's, and then came home to take a nap. I was up late last night, and I knew tonight would run long.

I woke back up at 1, pretty much feeling like shit. But I had promised Billy I would make Korean Refrigerator Pickles today, and wasn't going to disappoint him. I ran to the store, did that, then straightened up the house a bit and packed up the stuff for the party. I did feel better once I got up and started moving around.

The party started at 5. I got there about 6. As soon as I walked in, Russ and Billy had to leave to go to Billy's sister's birthday party. Bummer. Although I had valiantly tried to capture the party spirit on the way up with my hoochie CD, having to go right past the turn-off for M's house kind of took the wind out of my sales. I decided that liberal application of alcohol was called for, and by the time R&B came back I was pretty well lubricated. We had eaten dinner, and my pickles had gone over surprisingly well; well enough that I rescued the last of them and packed them up for Billy to take home. I had brought a little container expressly for said purpose.

After dinner there was some monkey business, but remarkably little for a bear party. There was of course some drama going on, and a couple of marriage moments. I ended up spending some time with a couple in the pool who were still Blissfully In Love - they had been together for only 6 months. But they were nice, and well-intentioned. I am not yet jaded enough to grudge them their happiness.

As I left the party, I had a text from a buddy, surprisingly, and ended up going over there for a visit when I got back to Greenville.

It was a good party, and I did have a good time. By the time I got home for good, though, I was glad to get home and into my bed.

A post in which I have company

Nicole invited me out for a girl's night tonight. After giving first refusal to Miss Kat (since they had invited me to their place three times last weekend, none of which panned out) I was delighted to accept.

Then there were flurries of difficulty. She had a girl friend coming, I had a friend coming. Then both friends canceled. We ended up at my place drinking wine and pretty much smoking until our lungs bled. We invited our friend Todd, and to both of our surprise he actually showed up.

Nicole told me all about her trip to England and Europe. It sounded lovely, and I was absolutely delighted that she got to go, but I didn't envy her the journey and the kerfuffle one bit. We did the gossip thing, told dating horror stories, and shared both our current dilemmas and hopes for the future. I feel closer to her now.

When the wine and the nibbles were gone, the cigarettes were smoked, and both of our eyes were heavy, we reluctantly ended a lovely evening of conversation and company. I feel closer to Nicole.

A post in which I ponder the nature of art and genius

I apologize in advance, gentle reader, for the surfeit of unanswered questions posed in this entry. Such is the nature of pondering - asking yourself questions for which either there are no answers, or you don't know them...

I’ve been doing some thinking about The Magic Flute, Mozart, art, etc.

Thinking back over the performance Wednesday night, I am struck by how Mozart wrote on two different levels. There were definitely high-flown themes (integrity, honor, stoicism, etc) on display; yet the character you loved was Papageno, who stole every scene. Next to him Tamino seemed stodgy and inflexible – honorable, but not that interesting.

On the one hand, I wonder how much of the lofty ideals were required elements. At the time Mozart wrote The Magic Flute, he was working as an independent agent. His works had to sell or to be performed. The traditional themes for music were history, legend, folklore, and mythology (aka Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen). Mozart’s music was exquisite, and there is no doubt that he was religious. He wrote many religious works, and was a lifelong member of the Catholic Church. But he was known to be a lover of practical jokes and scatological humor. I can’t help but wonder if the opera he really wanted to write was about Papageno (particularly in light of the profound influence the Opera Buffa had on him), and he had to include Tamino to make the work ‘respectable’ and marketable. I also wonder how much intentional parody of traditional themes was intended in the character of Tamino – who, as performed Wednesday night, could well have been a caricature of the Virtuous Hero.

There is a similar mix of the mundane and the transcendent in the works of Shakespeare. On the one hand, high flown themes of love, honor, valor, and loyalty; but on the other hand low-brow jokes and comedic asides and crudities clearly aimed at the gallery. So were these artists who catered to the lowest common denominator to sell tickets and fill the seats? Or were these men of more plebeian tastes who were forced into some obeisance to classical formulas to appease social mores? Is their genius shown by the fact that they are able to get the lofty themes across in nonetheless beloved works? Or does that just make them good marketers? Have these works survived because of their undeniable artistry, or because they filled the seats? Is it the nature of genius to refuse compromise, or to use compromise for the greater good or to extend the life of your work? I wonder if more high-minded or talented works have been lost to history because they weren’t as popular. I also wonder if years from now people will still be watching the Marx Brothers when Dark Victory is long forgotten. Is time the only test? Perceptions change, and merit is certainly not something that can be judged objectively – particularly in the context of one time period. Strauss’s works were basically derided as dance music in his lifetime, but now he is considered a gifted composer. Dickens was the JK Rowling of his time, and his books are now studied as literature.

This coincidentally leads me to the movies of John Waters, which I have been re-watching this week. On the surface, of course, his films are of the most puerile and base of the genre. He has embraced the moniker ‘Prince of Puke’. Yet in listening to the director’s commentary this week on Pink Flamingos, he reveals that originally there was a ‘magic mirror’ device used by the villainess Connie Marble to ask “Who is the filthiest person alive?” The device didn’t work technically, due to the limited budget, and was cut from the film; but hearing about it made me look at the movie in a new way. Couldn’t Divine’s character Babs Johnson in fact be an anti-hero version of Snow White – her complete rejection of virtue being the repudiation of older values? If that’s the case, then the movie is a social commentary, and certainly art; a theory bolstered by its selection for the Museum of Modern Art’s theater and film collection. That is definitely a marked change in perception on a movie that was not only widely banned upon release, but for which Waters was repeatedly arrested for showing.

So is it nobler to write high-minded less interesting things that people won’t read, or to pander to common tastes and slip in themes that may be more enriching? I suppose it does no good to expound on a virtuous theme if your work reaches no one. But on the other hand, should art be used as a medium to illustrate virtuous themes at all? Is the definition of art something that teaches, instructs or illuminates; or is it merely the illustration of the creator’s thoughts regardless of its effect on anyone else? Is art defined by effect or creation? I suppose that’s the dilemma of the artist – or indeed of culture in general. The things I see in society bother me - the continuing wave of anti-intellectualism in particular. It’s unfashionable to be smart. That makes you a nerd. So where is the next generation of doctors to come from? Television has apparently abandoned even the form of any kind of redeeming theme in their no-holds-barred race to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Voyeurism (in the form of the ‘reality show’) has replaced wit. Even the majority of published books now seem more like sit-com pilots than literature. Because of the huge publishing houses, if a book can’t sell millions, it doesn’t get printed. Gone are the days when publishers chose books based on merit or talent.

Extrapolated, this is the dilemma of civilizations. Societies that have become too erudite, too focused on being civilized – in other words too civil – have invariably fallen at the hands of more militant barbarians (i.e. Imperial China, overrun by the military might of the British, or Rome, overrun by Germanic invaders {albeit that both societies were propped up by slave labor and a rigidly defined caste system}). So perhaps we need a mix of the common along with the refined in order to thrive, or to survive? I suppose that would be the blessing, or the curse, of human nature, depending on your perspective.

Never has more information been more readily available to more people. The internet is a treasure trove of art, information, music, and literature at our very fingertips. Yet the majority of profitable websites, the ones people visit, market pornography. I’m not a prude or a prig. I can enjoy my baser side, and at times revel in the artless splendor of the mundane. And Lord knows I have no room to get on a soapbox about porn. But there are times that my spirit hungers for more substantial nourishments. There are times that I crave something beyond the common. That is a hunger that seems to be not only increasingly ridiculed, but disappearing. It will be a sad day for this world, and for humanity, if that hunger dies.

A post in which I cook and listen to Judy

Work was work. I did a bunch of stuff on month end today, and a fairly slow morning picked up into a busy afternoon. Unfortunately, a call with one account kind of soured the day. I’ve been dealing with them for months, but we’ve given them so many concessions at this point that they just feel they can dictate terms. It’s my job to try to hold the line on further concessions, so when he calls me and I don’t give him what he wants, he yells at me. Yesterday was one of our worst calls. But part of the job I guess.

Despite the article, I hit the gym after work. The article does say that the benefits of exercise are many, even if it doesn’t help you lose weight, and I am trying (most of the time) to watch what I eat. It does make me feel better. Monday I went in feeling like crap, and felt better when I was done. If it keeps me off Zoloft or something, I guess it's worth it. If nothing else, I guess I should keep exercising to pay for smoking. I went home and ate a big salad and some peanuts for dinner.

TCM was having a Judy Garland marathon tonight. I watched the end of Summer Stock, and listened to I Could Go On Singing while I cooked. That has never been one of my favorites of hers. She’s really showing the strain (despite makeup, wardrobe, Technicolor, and Hollywood magic) at that point in her career, and it just seems to hit a little too close to home for me – it’s kind of like watching her diary, or her real life. It was her last movie. Plus it's just a sad picture, about loneliness and isolation. Probably not something I should really be watching right now. The critics say it is one of her best performances though; and the songs are really good.

I’m really pissed that the Bette Davis marathon is Saturday, when I’ll be at the bear party. There will be several of hers on that I haven’t seen. They don’t show her obscure movies that often, and usually when they do it’s at 4am or something. I’m wishing I had a DVR, which is unusual for me.

I decided to go ahead and cook tonight since I had some odds and ends for stir-fried rice that I had been meaning to make all week and kept putting off. It didn’t turn out terrifically well. I got too much sauce and too much oil in the pan, so it turned out kind of salty and oily. Plus I forgot to put the sesame oil in the stir-fry rush so some of the depth of flavor is missing. But it’s OK. And I have dinner ready to pop in the microwave when I get home tomorrow if Miss Kat and dana invite me over. I also steamed some asparagus I bought last week. Apparently the second season is in right now – they are pretty little spears, and cheap.

I chatted a bit on line after I cleaned up the kitchen. I talked to some guys about going to the bear party on Saturday.

A post in which I am discouraged

I just read this article in Time about how exercise doesn't help you lose weight.

That would explain why I'm not losing anything. Sigh.

A post in which I see The Magic Flute*

I knew it was going to be a long day today. I was up at 2:30 for an hour. I was thinking about my morning guy showing up and couldn’t sleep. I finally got back to sleep around 3:30 and slept for 2 hours. I finally just got up around 5:30 and started getting ready. I was really glad to see him when he showed up. I left the house whistling.

Work was more frustrating than usual today. I got there to find out that the system was down with no ETA. To we sat there and waited. And waited. And waited. I did what I could, but basically just ended up wasting most of the day. I couldn’t even surf the web effectively – we were connected back with a temporary line through the Canadian office, so many websites weren’t accessible. The computers finally came back up around 3:45. Fortunately I had a fairly light day planned today, but I wasn’t able to turn the presentation in on time. I didn’t get the rest of the stuff from my boss, though I had already assembled everything else. Well at least I was prepared. The lateness is on him.

I did have time to talk to a guy at the office I’ve been meaning to get to know better. He is a nice guy, but is deathly allergic to cats, which of course means I can’t invite him to the cat hair nest that is my home. But I enjoyed talking to him for a while today, and he invited me over to his place this Sunday to meet some other friends of his and hang out. That should be cool.

I didn’t hear back from Robert about The Magic Flute tonight, but I had plenty of time to talk to Nancy, a friend at work, about going. She was up for it. I really debated about skipping the gym tonight. On the one hand, the show started at 7, and I knew it was going to be tight to hit the gym, get home, clean up, change, eat, and get there in an hour and a half. In the end though, I just decided I didn’t want to skip. Today was weight day. I am increasingly unhappy about my chest, and I’ve been doing some pecs work I didn’t want to skip. Plus the bear pool party is this weekend. Would one night at the gym make any difference? Of course not. But if I’m going to appear in a bathing suit in public, I want to make sure I've done everything I can. It’s not so much that it makes me look better – my weight continues to hover around ten pounds down from last winter, and I seem unable to lose any more – but when I have exercised I feel better about the way I look. I don’t really look any different. I just feel more confident.

I was tight on time though. I flew through the work out as fast as I could (sigh, another purty guy in the locker room tonight – fortunately I didn’t have time to be the creepy guy, or think much about the fact that he seemed to be putting off stripping down until I left the locker room), jumped in the car, fed the cats, freshened up a bit, changed clothes, and then flew right back to the car. There was no time for dinner so I just grabbed some peanuts and ate them on the way. I made it in the nick of time. Nancy was waiting for me, and by the time we waited through the surprisingly long line and got inside, the show was starting. Pretty much perfect timing. I was surprised to find that the tickets were $15, not $5 as I had apparently mis-interpreted from the website. But that is still fairly cheap for a cultural experience.

The version we saw tonight was done by the Metropolitan Opera in December 2006 as the first of the Met’s Live in HD series. It was sung in English, which I was a bit apprehensive about, but it turned out not to be an issue at all. The translation was pretty well done, and the dialogue was sung in a stylized enough manner that they still had sub-titles, but a lot of the time I found I didn’t need them. The main part I thought might be distracting was during the Queen of the Night’s vengeance aria – one of the most famous of all soprano arias in opera, and one of my personal favorites which I have listened to many, many times. But the performer, Erika Miklosa, was pitch-perfect and excellent – the language was not a distraction at all. I was unsurprised to find out that the role was a specialty of hers, and that she had sung the part in both the original German and English. In short, this was the best outcome for an English translation of an opera – I found it to make the work more accessible, while still offering what felt very much to me an authentic performance.

Julie Taymor (of “The Lion King” fame) directed, and I have to say that the King flavor did bleed through in places, most notably during Papageno’s encounter with the dancing bears; I found it a bit distracting there. But when he later dances with the stylized birds I was enchanted. That was lovely. Far more distracting to me were the stage settings, costumes, and makeup. They were highly stylized, and seemed to be some kind of attempt at a modern Asian art flavor. The costumes frankly seemed much more suitable to Ming the Merciless than to a Mozart fairy tale. The princess’s costume in particular was most unflattering. Also, despite the 2006 performance date, I found the costumes and sets to have a very 80’s music video feel.

So the staging wasn’t what I would have chosen, but the performances were very good. Rene Pape (as Sarastro), had a particularly rich and beautiful bass voice. I don’t usually enjoy listening to men sing as much, but I enjoyed his voice (albeit I wished he had had more songs to sing and less exposition – of course, that was Mozart’s call). I always want the sopranos to sing more. The queen only had two real songs, both during the first half. The princess Pamina, (Ying Huang), had an excellent voice, but the part consists mostly of duets with Tamino. It just isn’t a meaty part that a diva can really sink her teeth into. Matthew Polenzani played Tamino. He has a good tenor voice, but I just couldn’t warm up to him; although that wasn’t because of any lack of talent or technical prowess of his performance. I just found the heavy Asian drag distracting. Plus of course it’s easy for the prince here to be over-shadowed by Papageno, played ably here by Nathan Gunn. If his performance was a bit Disney-esque for me (with topical asides and wisecracks), that probably has more to do with my being a traditionalist about some things. He was perfectly within the flavor of Papageno, and did a good job of stealing every scene he was in. I found the suicide attempt to be fairly disingenuous, but then that may have been as it was intended. Next to this Papageno, though, Tamino seemed like a stick in the mud; a distraction. Every scene centered on Tamino seemed to slow the pace.

Interestingly, in another Disney-esque turn, Monostatos (another villain of the piece) is portrayed in an effeminate fashion here – in stylized high heels that are half hooves. When he comes under the influence of the magic bells, he and his henchmen (notably shirtless in a cast swathed in elaborate costumes) dance around and become fey under the influence. Of course the Disney penchant for the portrayal of villains as gay (think Jeremy Irons’ performance of Scar in The Lion King) is well established, and has for years been a matter of debate in the gay community. I found it interesting to read that Monostatos is usually described as a ‘moor’, and was traditionally played by a black actor, or a white actor in blackface. Yet another brick in the wall of my belief that gay people and smokers are the last minorities that society at large sees as acceptable targets for discrimination/derision. Even more interesting to see a character we meet as he attempts to rape the fair Pamina presented as stereotypically gay. But I digress.

My other prior concern was how a simulcast would stack up to a live performance. I have to say that, on big screen as it was, it really just felt pretty much as if we had really good seats to a live performance. I felt it was well worth the $15. Maybe it was because there was an audience there, but I did feel energy in the room, albeit not the energy of the performers actually being in the room, but really being able to see the expressions of the performers (through close-ups and camera work) was a fair trade-off.

Of course in the end, everyone ends up happy and in a relationship with their soul-mate. I like things that end that way, I guess because I’m hoping it works out for me. Overall, I enjoyed it. It was good that I finally got to see The Magic Flute, as I had been wanting to for years.

We got out at 9, and I was pretty much starving. It was really too late to get home and try to cook something, so I ran through Taco Hell, came home, did a few little domestic things, and hit the hay. It was a good evening. I feel that I broadened my horizons a bit.

A post in which I slack off for an evening

I remembered today that the simultaneous broadcast for The Magic Flute is tomorrow at Regal 20 Theater here. Tickets are only $5. I called Brian, the only guy I know who would want to go, and left a message.

I hit the gym, ate a salad, and decided to watch a movie tonight. I watched John Waters’ lecture/stand-up titled This Filthy World, which was free on cable OnDemand. Seeing him talk about his life, the people he knew, and the movies made me want to watch the movies again. He talked about how Divine died a week after the original Hairspray was released. That made me kind of sad. But he’s very engaging and well-spoken, even if he did mention several names I have never heard of. He also talked about some books I’d like to read.

Brian called me back this evening, and unfortunately he can’t go tomorrow. I’m thinking I’ll just go by myself. I sent Robert a message about it, he is the only other person I know who would sit through an evening of Mozart, but he lives in Anderson, and I’m thinking the 7pm show time won’t work for him.

After that, I chatted a bit online, but Dan wasn’t talking to me tonight for some reason. I turned in early. I have a visit from my morning guy tomorrow.

A post in which I chat online a good bit

I went to work today and started in on month end. Of course since we’ve changed the criteria for them, I had to do them three times today. Once for this month, once for last month, and once for last July, since we compare year-on-year. I’ll have to do them all twice for the next year because of that. Lovely.

After work I hit the gym – I needed to after eating like a pig all last weekend! I went up another level on the walker, and did weight work today. When I weighed, I had gained six pounds over the weekend, but some of that is just temporary weight and will come back off. I really need to stop weighing. It was better, in a way, when the scale up there was broken.

I went to the store, then came home and had a salad and some nuts for dinner. I started looking around at the house. It is amazing the number of things that still needed doing tonight. But I did them. There are more I need to do, but after a while I decided I could put some of it off.

I got my copy of Persuasion today. I’ve been watching so many Jane Austen movies I decided I could at least get a new one, but couldn’t settle down to watch it tonight. I futzed around the house while I listened to the Family Guy marathon.

I talked to Dan online some more tonight. It does sound like we’d be really compatible, but the workaholic thing worries me. Plus he’s only slept with three guys. Ever. In his whole life. I just don’t know if a guy like that could handle me. He’s blasé about it now, but really? In real life? I don’t know. I would like to meet him though. We do seem to have a lot in common.

Maybe I’m just afraid of being disappointed all the guys that I’m kind of hopeful about.

A post in which I go to the Barnyard very late*

I got up this morning more than half expecting not to hear from Asheville guy, whom I’ll call R. But he did call, first thing actually. We chatted online, and eventually he told me he was headed my way. He had to come to Greenville today anyway to get a friend to fix his laptop.

He showed up at the house, and we met and greeted for a while, after which he wanted to go up to Barnyard in Duncan. It’s a great flea market, but it had rained this morning (that was why I hadn’t gone over to White Horse today), and by this time it was about 11:30. Still, he wanted to go, and I had nothing planned, so we rode on up. Surprisingly, for this late in the day and this weather, the place was packed.

I found a royal lace saucer in Cobalt blue. I love this pattern, but only have clear pieces in it. The green in it looks cheap to me, and I’ve never cared for it.

Royal Lace saucer in cobalt blue by Hazel-Atlas, circa 1934-1941

I also found some cool wine glasses on sale for cheap. I broke one of my good red wine glasses a couple of months ago, and had been looking for some good burgundy balloons for when Donnie comes over.

My new red fancy wine glasses

We did the whole flea market, and had a really nice time. R enjoys old things too.

After the flea market, we were both hungry. We stopped off for Mexican at Corona’s because I know they have good food. I had seafood nachos. I know I shouldn’t have. I’ve eaten SO much seafood the last two weeks. But that was what I wanted.

In conversations with R over lunch (and at other times) I have found that he is unfortunately involved in a ‘relationship’ with a 22 year old boy. Of course said boy is thoughtless, flighty, dates other guys, etc, and just expects R to be available when it is convenient for him. I listened to a long litany of complaints and injuries R has suffered at the hands of this boy, but basically, the problem is self-evident. R is 34, and is trying to have an adult relationship with a child. After saying this eight or ten times, I just let him vent. Which he did. For a while.

Apparently the boy is beautiful, and R has not yet realized that he can’t have the boy without the drama and heartache. He’s still holding on, saying ‘if only’. Well I guess if only this guy matures 10 years or so, develops a sense of compassion for others, stops being an egomaniac, and gets a lobotomy, it will work. For R’s sake, I hope all that happens. In the meantime, R lives a life of frustration and hurt. More importantly to me, he is WAY not ready to move on to something else, but that's fine. He's a nice guy. I enjoyed meeting him. We can be friends.

But I'm kind of tired of playing father confessor to everyone's fucked-up relationships, frankly.

We decided to get a movie, but R has a decided taste for really, really bad movies. I don’t mind those on occasion myself, as you well know gentle reader, but I was just not in the mood for a Tyler Perry Madea-fest today. He said he wanted to see Jackass II, which I had at the house anyway. I had been meaning to watch it (Russ loaned it to me), but that just isn’t the kind of thing you watch by yourself. So we went back to the house, put it in, and enjoyed the movie and the homoeroticism which is Johnny Knoxville’s stock in trade.

When the movie was over, R needed to get going. It was about 5:30. I debated what I should do. Miss Kat and dana had called me earlier in the day to invite me over, but I needed to get some lunches made and some other domestic stuff done. I really argued with myself. On the one hand, you get only so many Sunday afternoons in your life to spend with friends, you know? But on the other hand, if I didn’t get on top of stuff that needed doing today, I would pay for it all week next week. Eventually, I decided to be a good boy and stay in.

I went to the store, made a pot of spaghetti with veggie balls to eat on next week, changed the sheets, switched out a load of laundry, and had leftovers for dinner. By the time I got the kitchen cleaned up, I was wiped and it was time for bed.