It's been a while - sorry 'bout that

The truth is, there's been a lot going on.

I lost my voice in May. We didn't really know why. The doctor didn't either. After a very frustrating diagnostic square-dance that went on for three months, they told me I had Mixed-Cellularity subtype Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Cancer.

I've been through five months of ABVD chemotherapy now. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Treatment makes me nauseated and dizzy, among other things. I've lost almost all my hair (everywhere) and about 10 pounds (which I could well afford to lose). I have a port in my chest. The drug regimen has done irreparable damage to my lungs, and I'll never be able to have (pure, medical-grade) oxygen as a treatment again.

But the last PET scan they did was clear, and after going in with 50/50 odds of survival (which really makes you stop and think, trust me), they think I'm going to live.

It' been quite an experience. I have two treatments left. I go in on the 12th for treatment #11, and then my last chemo is scheduled for the 26th.

My dad has really stepped up to the plate and been wonderful. We had a talk a couple of weeks ago that I wish we'd had 20 years ago. I feel closer to him than I have in my life. My mother, after initially freaking out a bit (understandably) has stepped up as well, and she'll be here to go to treatment with me this week.

The Kindred have all be fantastic. Rhonda in particular has been a rock, and helped me so much I don't think I could have done this without her.

One of my big fears has always been that I would have something badly wrong with me, and that I wouldn't have anyone to look after me. I've been very surprised at how my friends and family have rallied round and really been there for me.

My perspectives have changed, understandably. I've been really surprised at how people I thought I didn't know that well have gone out of their way to do something special or extend a kindness. It's really restored my faith in people in a way.

I don't hold life casually any longer. There was a time, after Michael left, when I wondered why I was still here, why I was hanging around - what was the point? When I got my diagnosis, I was ready to go home to God if it was time for that, but I'm glad it isn't time yet. I want to see what kind of man my nephew Cole makes - he's a phenomenal guy. I want to see my little niece Ava grow up, and go to her wedding. I want to be here to take care of my mother when she needs me. I want to have time to get to know my sister as a person, and enjoy her. I want time to spend with my friends, to travel, or visit, or just enjoy their company. So sticking around doesn't seem quite so pointless any longer.

My sister Cindy hasn't been in touch. Not even a card. I'm still conflicted about that. I try not to live my life in reproach, but I'm going to have a hard time moving past that.

So I've learned about people, and about myself. I've been forced into a position that I had to take from and rely on others - never something I was good at. Rhonda says that's part of the lessons I was supposed to learn from this. I've been forced into a place that I HAD to take things one day at a time, after a lifetime of worrying about tomorrow and planning. When there is no other choice, sometimes you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And sometimes that's enough.

Would I have gone through this to learn the lessons I have? I don't know, honestly. But I'm going to take what good from it I can, and leave the bad behind. And that's the most important lesson. Trouble will find it's way if it's coming - don't borrow it or go looking for it. If things are good, be happy and enjoy them - wring every bit of joy out of them that you can. Because that's what it's about. Finding and enjoying the happy.

A post with some overdue pictures of my new living room

I figured you would want to see them. 'Bout time...

A post in which I have Nicole over

I finally got in touch with Lisa today about this weekend. We had planned this coming one as a visit weekend for me to visit her, but then her schedule filled, and I realized I had the Hat Party this Sunday. I haven’t had time to make any hat, so I’ll be wearing a baseball cap and a sheepish grin I suppose.

Since Cole’s team has a game up here this weekend, they’ll be up Saturday and I’ll join them there. Then there is a bear dinner Saturday night, and the Hat Party on Sunday. Another crazy busy weekend coming up. I also didn’t take the day off on Monday, so I’ll be in Monday morning drug out like a dirty rug. Since I took this past Monday off I guess it’s just as well I don’t have another one scheduled.

I hadn’t seen Nicole in a while, so I sent her a text on a lark today. She called me a couple of times last month, but things were so insane that I couldn’t find any time to do anything. Wednesday now is really my only free evening during the week. I don’t have things scheduled on Monday, but usually I’m either so exhausted I collapse when I get in from work, or (as this past Monday) making up for chores I didn’t do over the weekend because I was playing.

Unfortunately Nicole had to put one of her cats to sleep today, but she wanted to come over anyway. I can understand wanting to get out of the house after that. We worked it out and she got to the house about 8. I spent the time waiting surfing the web searching for Eve’s birthday present. She has let it be known (in her own inimitable fashion) that she wants a fancy birdhouse for her new flower bed. I know the kind she wants. Unfortunately the sell for about a hundred bucks, and I’m not going to plunk that down for a birdhouse. I’m going to consult with Dad.

Nicole admired the new living room, and we ate pizza and caught up on each other’s lives and relevant gossip. It was really good to see her.

A post in which I am able to help Cole

I had dinner with the rents tonight. We just went to Portofino's, where the food continues to be superlative. We also had a waiter tonight who was so hot I could have thrown him over the table and eaten him on the spot. I tried not to look too much since Dad was there, but sheesh. Yes it is spring, and George has again come out of hibernation with a vengeance. It's enough to make you nostalgic for winter.

After supper I visited with them for a while. Typical Tuesday, and I was glad of it. There's been too much to deal with lately.

On the way home I had a call from Cole. He was working on a project for Spanish class, and his teacher told him he could get extra credit if he made an authentic Spanish dish called "Tortilla de Patatas". He was asking me for pointers. When he started describing it, it just sounded like a frittata to me. I know how to make that, but he insisted it was something different. I thought about it the rest of the way home, and eventually figured that it had the same ingredients and assembly, so the cooking methods would be similar anyway. I was able to call and offer him some tips to make it easier for him. I can't help him with sports, and would despair of trying to help with school work, but this I could help with. It made me feel good.

Cole with his "Tortilla de Patatas", or Frittata, or whatever the hell it is. It looks good though.

I looked it up later. Basically, the Tortilla de Patatas, or Tortilla de Papas, is the Spanish version of a frittata, which is Italian. So I was a little bit right. I've never cared for frittata because to get it done through you have to dry out the eggs. It looks like it turned out OK though.

A post in which I feel kinda crappy*

I woke up this morning exhausted and not feeling well. It's the height of allergy season, and I was outside too much the last couple of days. I really over-did it this weekend, and because I played so much there was a lot of stuff I needed to do, not to mention I was sleep-deprived from all the night hours and early mornings.

Eventually I got it together a bit and put some laundry in. I got my valances up in the living room to finish it (finally). I cooked the squash I bought yesterday for lunches, hauled all over town, and then didn't have time to cook. I took a nap. I even had a buddy in.

By the end of the day I was back together enough to feel like I could start the week. Oy. Yeah, now the work starts. I have got to slow down.

A post in which I am madly glassing

Well Russ and I made plans last night to go to the flea market. He said we did before, and we may have, but I didn't remember it. I was up so late last night, and had so much to do that I kind of didn't want to go, but I haven't been in so long, and the weather has been so gorgeous, and Russ was singing his siren song, and frankly I just couldn't resist.

What a flea market day! The weather was gorgeous and the vendors were out, and wherever I looked it seemed there was glass. I hadn't really come with great expectations, but found a Royal Lace sugar bowl almost before we got started. I usually don't like that pattern in green, and I am faithfully sworn to STOP buying cream pitchers and sugar bowls, but it was priced at about a quarter what it was worth, and I just couldn't resist. It had been so long since I had bought anything.

Then I found a Queen Mary tumbler for a quarter, and obviously I couldn't leave that. That was followed by the find of the day, a green Princess vegetable bowl. The woman selling it usually has high prices on her stuff, and it's usually pretty beat up to boot; but apparently she was there to sell today, and I couldn't find a chip on this piece. I picked that up at about half price.

I bought a small bubble bowl for my set (I found one yesterday also, coincidentally), and then as we did the last row I found a green Patrician "Spoke" creamer. OK, it was a creamer, and I don't usually care for the pattern. But it's prettier in green - usually you see it in amber, and I don't like amber glass. The guy wanted $5 for it, and at that point there was no way. Eventually, after half walking away (I really didn't need it) he sold it to me for a buck. For that price, I couldn't leave it. It's in perfect condition too. So I was naughty. I really have to stop buying cream and sugar sets.

Patrician "Spoke" in green by Federal Glass Co., circa 1933 to 1937

Royal Lace sugar bowl in green by Hazel-Atlas, circa 1934-1941

Queen Mary 9oz flat tumbler in pink by Anchor Hocking, circa 1936-1949

Princess 9" vegetable bowl in green by Anchor Hocking, circa 1931 - 1935

I got in touch with Sabrina, and agreed on a time to get the chair. We left the flea market, picked up Billy, got the chair, and then stopped for lunch at Pho Noodleville, a haunt of Russ and Billy's. It's OK, they just don't give you very much food. But it was fine for lunch, and I hadn't eaten anything. I was so hungry at that point it was any point in a storm.

After lunch we went back to my place and stashed the chair in the green room. It does look good in there, and it doesn't get on my nerves the way the wing backs did for some reason. It's a nice piece. Either that will become it's home or I'll find someplace for it eventually.

We were off to Spartanburg for dinner tonight, but we were all pretty worn out. Russ and I had been on the go all day, and Billy's back is messed up. After a short, blissful interlude in my new living room, which I am growing to love more and more, it was time to hit the road again. We all got cleaned up and headed for Spartanburg.

Dinner at Jeff and James's house tonight was rather avaunt-guard. We had a beet and apple salad and lemon pepper fish. It was a nice meal. Morgan and Andrew were there, and Amanda. After dinner everyone relaxed, Morgan painting designs on people with a henna kit she had brought. It was a little nippy to be outside, but we were out on the front porch anyway. Lovliness.

A post in which it is a busy Saturday

I had a quite ambitious day planned today, but I didn’t exactly get a running start at it. Since I was up so late last night I was still in my jammies when Justin got to the house to view the new living room color and help hang pictures. First, though, we had tea and ate the bagels he brought. It was good to see Justin, it’s been a while. We have a lot of interests in common, and whenever I see him we fall right back in together as if we had just seen each other the day before.

I moved some of the pictures in the living room around, and took still more out. This is the second time I have decreased the amount of pictures in there, and I like it. The less stuff I have in my little house, the larger it seems. I’m trying out a new motto in my head: ‘Less is freedom.' It feels right, but it’s easier to proclaim than to put into practice, particularly for a collector.

With the pictures hung, Jeff and James dropped by to make pictures for their website for the new business. We made plans for lunch, and met at Corona’s on Wade Hampton. Although this was the site of the lousy nachos last week, I got a different kind today and they were much better.

After lunch Justin and I split off to do some antiquing, because that’s what we do. We did a mini-run to Greer and looked around a bit but didn’t buy much. I did fall in love with an $1100 linen press, but didn’t buy it, despite Justin’s encouragement. It is a lovely thing, but I have spent a lot of money this spring.

I was pretty horrified to realize while we were out that I had completely forgotten to go and get a chair I was supposed to pick up from Rhonda's ex Sabrina today. Rhonda moved away but couldn't take it and offered it to me. I don't really have a place for it, but agreed to take it because it is such a great chair. There was nothing to do but apologize profusely to Sabrina. She was nice about it.

When Justin left to go home I braced myself for another Saturday night alone. I had just seen Miss Kat and dana last night, and Russ and Billy had plans. But I had plenty to do at the house. Shortly after I got home though, Russ got in touch to say that they had decided to stay home after all. He invited Miss Kat, dana, and me over.

We all went and sat on his lovely deck for a while. I discussed the linen press thing with Billy, who helped me to realize that it would be insane to spend that much money on a piece of furniture to put shoes in. Hello.

We headed out to dinner at Stax Omega. Unfortunately they have cut their menu back severely and didn’t have what I wanted, but of course it wasn’t a problem for me to find something to eat. We just went back to the house and hung out until it was time to turn in. It was a nice, laid back visit, and I really enjoyed it. It was good to see Russ and Billy. It’s hard to catch up with them.