A night out.

It would be a night they would remember for a veddy, veddy long time...

Ooops sorry. Went into Rocky Horror mode for a moment there. I went to get my hair cut after work. It was good to see Russ, as always. He is re-modeling the shop since he owns it now.

Afterwards we went out for Thai with Billy and Ben. It was a nice meal. The food was pretty good, but I've had better. Mine was kind of bland, although the tea was excellent - strong and well-brewed. After that we went for ice cream. Brewster's is just the best. They put lots o stuff in theirs.

Afterwards, I was just too pooped to visit. I went home and collapsed. I am really tired of this allergy thing, if that's what it is. Crystal at work has been out with a respiratory infection, and I'm wondering if I have it. I still feel pretty bad - drug out and crappy. But I have the tender gums, scalp, and muscle aches of a usual allergy thing. Geez I am boring this week.

^%$#(*^@!! allergies

I forgot to take my medicine Sunday, and I'm paying for it today; it usually skips a day before I feel the effects. I feel like crap. Just read a bit, ate dinner, and went to bed. I'm very tired, and achy, and yucky in general. I have to go out tomorrow night, since I'm getting my hair cut.

Boring Monday

All I wanted to do today was read. I finished The Slave and started on The Trainer. I have some new library books now, but decided to read the Marketplace series again before the camp out. These two are my least favorite of the series, but they're still good, and they lay groundwork for the The Academy, which is excellent. Two characters show up in The Reunion as well. So, just reading, a salad, and bed.

The Jockey Lot with Lady D!*

I was up early again this morning, and after waiting until 10:30am, decided to head on over to see a friend of mine. I know Lady D is not a morning person, so I had no idea when they would call. I got in touch with Billy about 11:30, and he told me that they were headed to Anderson. I was already pretty much there, so I just found a table and poeple-watched for an hour. Because it was overcast and there had been a sprinkling of rain this morning, there was almost no one in the yard sale section of the flea market, but the inside vendors were there, and Lady D wanted to shop.

When they got there, the first item on the agenda was food. No one had eaten, and we were all starving. We ended up trying this little taqueria I had been meaning to try forever - it always smells heavenly. The problem, of course is that it's pretty much impossible to get anything veggie at that kind of place. What I really want is some veggie tamales, but there is no place to get them around here. Russ and I ended up eating huge tortas - kind of the Mexican answer to the submarine sandwich layered with guacamole, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, onions, salsa, and beans (Russ's also had seasoned grilled flank steak on it). I had a quesadilla as well.

After that it was shopping, shopping, shopping. Lady D LOVES to shop. We did the whole inside of the flea market, which is no mean feat. I was also carrying all her stuff, and on about 4 hours of sleep. We didn't end up leaving until about 3:30pm, and by the time we left, I was all in. It was a lot of fun though. Lady D is lots of fun to be around. I was more respectful of her space this trip. The last time I got on her nerves hovering too close, trying to be attentive. I'm reading the Marketplace books again before the camp out, so of course I'm wanting to be Chris again. I spent the time trying to be companionably and conversationally close when strolling, giving her space when she was shopping, but always being handy to take any newly acquired items out of her hands. She did buy one heavy statue that was getting even heavier by the end of the trip, but it was well worth that to spend some time with her and gypsy.

After they left to head back to Atlanta, I headed home and collapsed. I slept for an hour or so, and then got up and headed out for errands. I had the cooking to do, and went to the library. Usually at this time of year, I'm working fresh veggies back into my diet, but I ate a lot of veggies this winter, and all I have wanted lately is pasta. I really wanted chili mac, so that's what I decided to make. I experimented by adapting my mother's chili recipe into chili mac, and using TVP rather than soy crumbles to make it cheaper. It turned out pretty good. So I have lunches for this week, and I'm eating salads for dinner next week. Not a diet decision, I just couldn't resist organic spring greens on sale at Whole Foods friday night. I usually gain weight on salads, since I love salad dressing so much. I love croutons too!

So finishing up the cooking, doing a bit of laundry, and cleaning up the kitchen pretty much rounded out the evening.

My little voice warns me

This was the Dining With Friends evening in Greenville. It's a series of dinner parties to raise money for AID Upstate, and a very worthy cause, which has morphed into a social occasion as well.

I got up this morning too early. As usual, when I plan to sleep in, I can't. But I got up, had coffee on the porch, and decided to make a run through the flea market. It was pretty much a junk show yesterday, although I did find Russ a Bubble Bowl in white to go with one he already has.

I really needed to do some work in the yard and on the house, but really didn't feel like it. All I really wanted to do was read, but I made myself get out there. I ran over the shrubs in front of the house with the clippers in case Lady D and them came by the house tomorrow. I went back and tried to do some cleaning out in the back yard, but after digging out one huge Wisteria root the length of a baseball bat and as big around as my wrist, I was all in. I usually spend the spring killing Wisteria. The old lady that lived in the house before me (or maybe her mother) set it out in the yard, and it went crazy. It was trying to eat the house when I bought it, and it is a constant struggle to keep it subdued. I don't think you can kill it.

I came back in and cleaned up the house a bit, got cleaned up, had some lunch, and got ready to go to the Dining With Friends parties with Russ and Billy. I was just really close to calling and cancelling. I so didn't want to go. But I kept telling myself that I really needed to get out there. I can't meet anyone in the bear group, because all the guys are married. And the online thing really hasn't been working out so well. This was a prime chance to meet some people I didn't know, and maybe meet someone nice. So I dragged myself mentally by the scruff of the neck to the car.

First we went to a dinner party at the home of Dean and Scott, two guys I know and like. They had a friend bring in a marvelous artichoke dip I had eaten before, and had some lovely red skin potatoes done in rosemary and tons of butter that were divine. James and Ben went with us, and they are very good company. Ben is sweet, and James is very funny and entertaining. Not to mention he is a lil fox. He managed to spill an drink down my leg at the dinner party, but it was fine. The crowd there was nice, but mostly older - I understand it was the MCC crowd. After the discussions of their health, and income tax filings, I was beginning to nod off. Nice people, but not really a party crowd.

Cougar was there. He was flirty, and funny, and very complimentary. I really like him. But I can't trust him. It's a shame. He was there with a friend of his named Scott, who was a dead ringer for my friend Jeff Deitz, who died years ago. It kind of freaked me out. He was very nice and all, it was just weird how much he looked like Jeff.

After that we went on to a cocktail thing downtown. It was nice enough, but as usual, I just don't fit in with the pretentious set. To make matters worse, the guy who christened me Mr "Cruel and Heartless" was there, and I spent the first hour or so we were there trying to make sure that he didn't run in to me. I didn't want a scene. Plus, this guy I can't stand was working as bartender, so I couldn't even go get a drink. Fortunately, Billy went to the bar for me. I basically just stayed on the edge of the party and waited for time to leave. At least I had Billy, Russ, Ben, and James to talk to. They made periodic forays into the party, but we all kept coming back to the edge. I did flirt with one cute little guy who seemed to be interested in me, but after talking to him for about 10 minutes, it was easy to tell he was pretty vapid, and would be horrified of me when he got to know me. I'm not really the "settle down in cream cheese suburbia with a matching pair of Yorkies" kind of guy. He also did about 10 minutes on safe sex like within a half hour of meeting me. That's kind of a turn-off. I don't have anything wrong with safe sex, but I felt like he was setting up barriers and trying to decide whether or not I was sponge-worthy. It's a shame; he was really cute.

I'm getting to bed about 2am. And we have the Jockey Lot with Lady D in the morning. And I haven't done any cooking today.

A nice evening

It turned out to be a quiet evening. Russ and I spent some time talking plants until Lady D and gypsy got to the house. It was very good to see them, as always. We went to dinner at Golden Corral and talked until late. By the time we got back to the house, everyone was all in. It was just a good visit.

Unexpected pleasures

I got off work today and was just kind of meandering around Whole Foods this evening, when Russ called. Neither he nor Billy could get home in time to greet Lady D and gypsy when they get here from Atlanta. He asked if Iwould head on to the house to greet them. Would I!! Of course I told him that I wouldn't mind a bit. It's a privilege, not a favor, to be the first one to get to see Lady D.

I had to haul ass though. I had groceries, and had to get home, put them away, change, head back out, stop for Lady D's drinks, and get to their house by 7. It was 6. Needless to say, I had no time to shower. But I managed to get there on time, with drinks. Fortunately, I had picked up some matzo today, since gypsy is Jewish, and it is still Passover.

So I'm here, waiting for them, with a delightful sense of anticipation, and happy with the unexpected fun Friday night out. Joy!

Meditations on my callousness

Well I didn't sleep very well last night. Despite the fact that I think this guy overreacted, I still felt like a shit. I'm still back and forth on the posts I pulled down. On the one hand, it is my life, and a blog where I can't talk about my feelings is pretty useless. On the other hand, this has sure blown up in my face.

***

I talked to Walter today by text, but unfortunately he's busy this weekend. I had tonight free, but otherwise I am booked as well.

Tomorrow night is Dining With Friends, and I'm going to two parties with Billy and Russ. That should be nice, hopefully. I don't really have tons of money to give to charity at the mo, so I'm trying to decide how much I should give.

Sunday morning is the much anticipated trip to the Jockey Lot with Lady D! I am really looking forward to seeing her again. I can't wait to watch her put lil redneck girls in trances again LOL. For me, it's kind of like I'm Annie when Punjab puts Sandy in a trance - for some reason I am endlessly fascinated.

I'm going to the flea market near my house tomorrow morning as well. Since I set my flowers out, all rain has stopped, as usual, so I don't have to worry about ugly weather now. I need to set them out earlier next year, I guess. But we have been in a drought, and apparently still are, so I wanted to give the state to opportunity for some more rain first. I know one thing though - I am sleeping in in the morning. I have had to drag myself out of bed every day this week. Of course, if it goes the way it usually does, I'll be wide awake at 6am tomorrow.

I need some inspiration on what to cook. I could just care less lately. I've been eating too many sandwiches.

Knowing better, and still getting into trouble

I am apparently cruel and heartless. At least that's what I was told today by email. A guy I went out with a couple of times sent me an email to tell me what he thought of me after reading my posts.

I know better than to date newbies. My little voice was saying "NO!". I did it anyway, and now I apparently have an enemy for life. I redacted the posts that so upset him; but apparently my telling him I was not interested is not something he will "EVER get over". So much drama. I thought things would be different with older guys. I just can't deal with all the Jan Brady-ness of the whole situation. The worst part of it is that I am the stupid one, because I should know better. Repeat after me. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Can I get a volunteer to give me a swift kick in the ass the next time I ignore my little voice? Apparently just age and wisdom aren't doing the trick yet.

***

Had dinner with Mom and Dad tonight. I went by the house, thinking Dad would be home after just having surgery yesterday, but they weren't there. After calling, I joined them at their favorite little Mexican place. He's apparently doing fine, and I got the update on Grandma Shumate. They are going to try to get her into an accelerated program that focuses on getting hip injury people back on their feet as soon as possible to minimize muscle loss. Hopefully they will accept her.

Living through books, but trying other stuff

Well I can add another man to my short list of perfect men. This one is wholly fictional though, instead of only partially. This one's name is Shean McClendon, and he appears in the Charlaine Harris short story from Night's Edge, called Dancers in the Dark. Charlaine writes good love scenes, I'll give her that, but the scenes in Dancers are above and beyond. Maybe it's that he is a beautiful Irish vamp with red hair and a treasure trail. Maybe it's that he's a gentleman. Maybe it's that he can ballroom dance beautifully. But lordamercy that man made my heart flutter. And he's only in a short story. I'm hoping she can't lay him down, and writes more of him for me. Sometimes she does that.

For the record, my other perfect men may as well be fictional, for me:

Seth Green is just beautiful, and a lil pocket boy, which I like. From his choice of roles, I think he probably has a great sense of humor, some integrity, and a different outlook on life that I would appreciate. I don't think he's all caught up in his own fame. But of course he is rich, famous, in California, and reportedly straight.

Simon Pegg is straight AND lives in the UK. Plus he's married. To a woman. But he's smart, and funny, and can laugh at himself. He shows an underlying sensitivity in his acting roles, that I'm thinking must at least have a grain of truth. I'm probably the only person who watches "Shawn of the Dead" and gets a heart rush from it. His yawn is cuter than a bucket of puppies.

So at least I can read about Sean, right?

***

You'll no doubt be relieved to know that my new tea pitcher finally arrived today, so I'll shut up about it. The weird part was the color. I had really wanted a blue lid, but the blue lid was $3 more, so I sucked it up and tried to be a grownup and order one with an orange lid. When it got here, they actually sent me one with a yellow lid, which I had looked at (because my old pitcher had a yellow lid), but which was even more expensive from other sellers. It's like the universe had decided that my tea pitchers must have yellow lids.

I have got to get out more.

***

On that note, I did go to the pizza trough (Stevie B's) after work for dinner. I stuffed myself while I read about mythical perfect men with fantastic bodies who are also lovable, single, and dying (or dead already) for the right simple homespun girl to come along and be the object of their every waking effort and devotion. Not too ironic, or unrealistic. For the last month, I have felt like my life is like the first 15 minutes of the movie Romancing the Stone. The pre-adventure Kathleen Turner part.

***

Dad called tonight. They are now saying that Grandma Shumate may have only cracked her hip, so they may not operate or do a hip replacement. She will still be on bedrest for 4-6 weeks though. As badly as her muscles have atrophied already, we don't know if she'll actually be able to get back up after that amount of time. Still, this is better than we thought it was going to be.

Dad went in for his surgery today for a sinus polypectomy. He says it went well, and he feels pretty good.

I talked to the surgeon's office today, and they are calling the insurance company to get approval for my surgery. The tentative date is set for June 11.

Lord, we're all falling apart.

***

I did talk to another Match.com guy tonight. His name is Kipling, and he is an artist. Aside from his nomadic lifestyle and grain allergy (he is a raw foodist), he is at least a smart guy with whom I can hold a conversation. He has lived in Italy, and is still almost constantly on the move. There is a part of me that thinks that sounds wonderful, and then there is my home-and-hearth-bound Virgo majority that is horrificated. When he started telling me about how the visualization techniques outlined in The Secret enabled him to meet James Earl Jones, I have to say it was kind of the last straw for me. He's a nice guy, and sounds like he'd be a hoot and a holler to hang out with, but probably not my soulmate. Sigh.

An interesting call

Kind of a quiet evening was shaping up this evening. I have started on a new short story series I am reading for Charlaine Harris. This one is called Night's Edge. It is very good. They have left the Harris story for last, like dessert. I never read ahead in books. It spoils it for me, and I think it's cheating.

I had settled in to read for about an hour when the phone rang. It was Terry, a guy I met through Match.com who lives up near Cincinnati. He is a 54-year-old virgin, who has lived in a small town his whole life, and never really had the courage to do anything - literally. He is a very sweet man, but it just breaks my heart that his whole life is passing him by while he tries to decide what to do about it. He was excitedly comparing and contrasting different men he had met online and which ones he likes for which reasons, and talking about the kind of man he wanted, etc. I just finally had to break in and tell him "Look, man, you're not ready to get married - you've never even held hands!" I think he was putting way too much pressure on himself about sex, when he hasn't really accepted who he is yet. I told him not to worry about sex right now - to concentrate on getting out in the world and just meeting some other gay people.

We talked about the "Howard Sprague" fag - that character of yesteryear who lived in small towns, never married, and was eventually known as a "confirmed bachelor". Yes, he was accepted, and had his place in the town, but it was a very lonely life. Terry doesn't have one friend who knows he's gay (at least not that he has told). He doesn't know one person he can talk to about the things weighing so heavily on his mind. He is relying on people he meets online to fill that role. I was glad to do it for him, but it made me so sad. I told him that if he wasn't honest with his friends, if he continued to hide who he was, that he really didn't have any friends because he wasn't letting people know the real him. You can only be so close to someone and not share something so vital to who you are - you are forced to hold people at arms length. He said he understood, but I wonder if he really took it in.

I ended by telling him to watch Auntie Mame with Rosalyn Russell again, and Now Voyager with Bette Davis again, and think about what those movies mean, and why gay people identify with them so strongly. I also told him to find a supper group, bear group, MCC Church, something in Cincinnati, and get into town, and find his people. Just interact with some real live gay people. Not to have expectations about sex, or relationships, any of that, but just to feel what it is like to be around others of his own kind. I hope he will do it. I wonder if he will. Baby steps, Terry, baby steps.

Early bad news

Grandma Shumate fell last night, and they think she has broken her hip. Dad is on the way up there.

When I called to tell Mom about this, she told me Granny Brown is back in the hospital. She has osteoporosis so badly that her spine is basically dissolving. We have known that for a while. They told us they would run rods in her spine, but that there isn't enough bone there to hold the rods. She started having micro-breaks in her spine last week. She was home on pain medication, but was apparently over-medicated. She ended up disoriented and dehydrated. There isn't a lot they can do for her at this point but keep her comfortable. But Mom says they are going to adjust her meds.

Just a regular ole Monday

By the time I went to the grocery store, and to Kmart, and cooked some lunches to take for this week, it was pretty much time to go to bed.

I am finishing up another short story collection with a Charlaine Harris story in it. She was excellent, as usual. The collection is called Powers of Detection, and it's the one I had to buy, since the library didn't have it. Most of the stories were very good, and some of the authors were good enough I will track down more of their stuff to read. I love finding a new author. Charlaine's story is called "Fairy Dust", and it takes place in her little town of Bon Temps, but is a peek into other lives in the town than she usually delves into.

And yet more work in the yard

I woke up early, and then couldn't go back to sleep. So I got up and had coffee on the porch. It's going to be a beautiful day. When I came in, I continued putting finishing touches on the house, and had some breakfast. Justin, Preston, and Jim were here about 9, and we had a great time in Anderson.

I bought a nice little marked Fire King grease jar, with the lid, for $5. It is a plain ivory, but has no chips. In Justin's book, which is about 10 years old, it was priced at $14-$16, so it was a good deal. Plus I just really liked it.

I saw a few pieces of Depression Glass, but it was either clear or priced too high.

Mainly what I bought today was plants. After last year's disaster, I had sworn off of them, but something about spring being in the air just makes you want to buy flowers. I also found some really nice ones today :

- Zinnias (pronounced ZEEN yas down here) in four colors - butter yellow, hot pink, orange, and red. They are supposed to proliferate like crazy, and come back, which will be great. I have always liked them.
- Fiesta lantana with the multi-color blossoms. This variety goes from yellow to gold to a deep orange. I had the plain yellow already, but have always liked the multi-color stuff, and wanted some.
- Colias for the front porch. I didn't do so well with them last year, but I learned I have to pinch them back really hard, so I'm trying again. I got some really pretty deep red ones, and am setting them out with some light green ornamental sweet potato for dramatic contrast. Should be pretty. I also got a splashy varigated one for another pot by itself.

Of course, buying all these flowers meant I spent more time outside today, setting them out. I usually hate to work in the yard. But when the weather is so gorgeous outside, I just want to be out there in it. It was 74 and absolutely scrumptuous today. I started by doing all the planters on the front porch.

Since I had already weeded the bed by the front walk, the soil was already turned. I dug out all that old artemesia that I have never cared for, and set out zinnias around the purple plum. I also started something I have been meaning to do ever since I moved into this house.

There is almost a perfect rectangle between two sides of the yard, the sidewalk, and the road in front of my house. I have always wanted to dig it into a bed. But it will be quite an undertaking - apparently even more of one than I thought it would be. Since I had the multi-colored lantana, I wanted it in the bed by the walk. So I decided to move the plain yellow down by the road. I went down to dig a nice hole, and was amazed at how rocky the ground was. I'm surprised even the weeds could live down there. That section must have been gravelled at one time. But after a good amount of work, I had stripped out all the grass, and dug out the rocks to make a good place to move the lantana into. I hope it lives. I dug out pretty far around it, so it should have a good root ball, and I had prepared a good place for it to go into. I hear that lantana is pretty hearty, so I'm thinking it should be OK.

That done, since I was already dirty, I decided to tackle the privet hedge. That wasn't as bad a job as usual, because a) I cut it back really hard last year, and b) since it was so dry last summer, it didn't get as huge as it usually does. While I was pruning, I cut the purple plum away from the house again. Michael set it out too close to the house, so that is a constant thing. Eventually, I am afraid that tree is going to have to come out. That finished up all the pruning.

I was pretty whooped at that point, and hadn't had any lunch, so I went in for some sandwiches and a nap. When I woke up, it was about 5, and I decided to call Russ and Billy and see what they were up to. They were in Charlotte last night. They were free, but Russ was still working in the yard, which meant if I went over, I'd be sitting outside with him while he did planters and things. I decided I couldn't go over there and sit with him in his yard while mine still needed attention. So I mowed the grass, then cleaned up and went over. My yard right now looks about as good as it ever does. I am full of plans for improvements that I'm sure will be abandoned when first real hot spell hits. It's kind of an annual thing.

I got over there about 7, and Russ was finishing up. Plus, it was turning off chilly. Billy had an online meeting to attend with LOCK though, and that went on for an hour and a half. I sat in there with him on the laptop, being teased by the Food Network. They did have some good stuff on. By 9, Russ and I were starving, so we went on out to dinner at the Olive Garden. I know that Olive Garden gets a bad rap from a lot of foodies. But the food we had last night was delicious. For some reason the one over on our side of town isn't quite as subruban as the one over off Laurens Road, so I don't feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust or be turned into a Stepford Steve while I eat. Russ and I had a great meal, and then I went home for bed. I am tired.

Work in the yard*

This is the bed by my front walk. To the far left is the peony, and just to the right of it is some bee balm I set out last year that has come back twice as big, despite not getting enough sun, I think. The far right plant is a wild violet, but it is growing on top of some very happy lantana that comes back bigger every year. I wish it was the multi-colored (it's just yellow), but I'm not messing with success. It was beautiful last year, and it's very drought tolerant. The other clumps are artemisia, set out because the chipmunks won't eat it - it's poisonous. I'm not that fond of it, but it is living, so I haven't dug it out yet.

Well my prediction about getting no yard work done today turned out not to be true, which is a really good thing. Stuff needed to be done. I cleaned out the front bed in the mist and damp, getting thoroughly soaked in the process, but the peony was coming back, and I wanted to get the weeds cleared out before the lantana comes in, and to give the bee balm some room to spread. A friend of mine has told me that in a couple of years, the bee balm will take over the bed, but better that than weeds. I think the damp may keep it in check. I think it doesn't get enough sun there, and it tends to get a bit of fungus on it.

I also trimmed up the bushes in front of the porch. They were pretty shaggy. I pruned them pretty hard today, and took some wood off. They needed some aggressive shaping. They are ligustrum, or Mexican Privet, which I am training up into trees to shade the front porch, which gets afternoon sun. I have an understory of old-fashioned glossy abelia under them to form a hedge. The era of that shrub is appropriate for my house, and they get little white trumpet blossoms all over them in the summer every time it rains. They smell like heaven, although they probably don't do my hay fever any good. Old timers call them bumblebee bushes, and indeed the bumblebees LOVE them, coming from all over to lazily tumble in and out of the blossoms, drunk on nectar, all summer long.

I have a high front porch, since the house is built on a bit of a bank, and it catches all the breezes. After I was done, I sat out and enjoyed the pretty afternoon for a while, before the mosquitoes came out. We are plagued with them in my neighborhood, and that, along with the heat, means I can't use the porch a lot in the heat of summer. So I spend all the time I can there in the spring before the bugs come out, and in the fall after they die off. In the mornings in the summer, I can still sit out for a while, if I wait till the mosquitoes go to bed, and come in before it gets really hot.

I didn't get to mow, since it was so wet, but that is not hard to do. Tomorrow, I'll tackle the privet hedge on the corner of the house, which grows like a weed. I would have pulled it out, but a) that stuff is almost impossible to kill, b) it hides an ugly corner of the foundation, and c) it has been there so long, I just haven't had the heart to yank it. It was there when I bought the house, there's no telling how old it is.

It was good weather to be outside this afternoon, and I'm hoping the rain knocked the worst of the pollen down so I don't die tomorrow.

I went in, got cleaned up, and called Justin to see what they were up to. His ex Preston, and his current boyfriend Jim are up from Columbia. Justin is house-sitting over at Russ and Billy's. But by the time I called, it was after eight, and they didn't get to dinner until after 9. Justin told me they would just collapse when they got back to the house.

So I futzed around the house to get it in order, in case they come in tomorrow. We're going to the Jockey Lot down in Anderson.

The Peony

This is the peony in the bed by the front walk. It is coming on like gangbusters now. Michael set it out, and kept waiting for it to bloom, but it only ever had one bud on it, which a bug promptly ate. Last year it finally had one blossom on it, but it was gone by the time he came down for a visit. I did take a picture of it to show him. I counted 10 buds on it today, so apparently it is happy where it is. It gets these huge shaggy pink blossoms, so in a couple of weeks it should put on quite a show.

It's the weekend

Well it has taken 15 months, but I have finally managed to make a decent cup of coffee again. Michael always did that, and I have never been a great coffee maker, but before I met him, I could do it. I think I've finally done it enough that I have it down again. I also got some more 8 o'clock Hazelnut coffee, my old favorite, although I'm sure the fault was with me and not the coffee. I could really taste the sun-drenched South American slopes this morning.

Which is good, since it is anything but sun-drenched here today. We are continuing our pattern of beautiful weekdays and rainy weekends. So much for working in the yard today. It really needs it too. I'm afraid if I do it tomorrow, I won't have enough recovery time from the pollen before I have to go back to work. But I have to do something soon, or the neighbors will burn me in effigy.

Since it is raining, there won't be anyone at the flea market. I just ordered a tea pitcher on Amazon. It was just to the point of being ridiculous. Plus, with gas prices as high as they are, it's just as cheap to order it delivered as it is to keep shopping.

So I had coffee on the porch, and watched the bushes drip. Still not a bad way to start the day.

Russ and Billy are out of town this weekend, and Justin is house-sitting, but he's having young guys over tonight, and doesn't seem to want me over there, although we are supposed to go to the Jockey Lot in Anderson tomorrow, I guess weather permitting. Maybe I'll see what Walter is doing tonight...

The Neti Pot, again

OK, I feel like an old person now, going on and on about health crap, but I am LOVING this Neti Pot. I did it this morning, and again when I before bed. It has made a HUGE difference. My sinuses actually feel normal, which is just unheard of for me at this time of year. If you have any sinus problems, you have GOT to get one of these.

I went to some more expensive places on my way home tonight in my search for the elusive decent tea pitcher. I went to Bed Bath and Beyond, Ross's Dress for Less, Marshall's Home Store, and Linens n Things. Nothing. Some places had no pitchers at all, and some had the same ones as the cheap places, just with bigger prices. I did find the classic Tupperware 2 quart on Amazon.com, but I'm going to look at the flea market in the morning before I order one. I'm tired of this now, I just want a damn pitcher. But the cheapest I can find a decent one online is about $17, which still seems awfully high to me. Maybe I am just spoiled, I ran across the last one years ago at Big Lots for $1.50. Had I known then, I would have bought five of the damn things.

I guess that's just the way it is when you get older. You get used to using one particular thing. It just seems to fit your hand and your purpose after a while. When it's time to replace it, you want another just like it. My grandparents are the same way. Lord, I'm turning in to Granny Brown.

I went through the grocery store on the way home, and picked up my pitiful Friday night pint of ice cream. I felt like a Cathy Guiswite cartoon come to life. I don't usually eat ice cream, but was just craving some, I guess because of the warmer weather. Still, with that pint in my cart, in the grocery store on a Friday night, I just felt like I was announcing to the world "Look at me! I'm a single gal with no life, preparing to go home and make love to a pint of Haagen Dazs!" Sigh. But I bought the ice cream anyway.

And how typical that I'm buying ice cream when I'm depressed about my weight. I have gained back all the weight I lost last year when Michael and I broke up. I also just saw the pics of me from the Hat Party, and I look awful. I'm torn about this from a romantic perspective. I have gained and lost this same 30 pounds for years. On the one hand, if I meet a guy when I'm at my slimmest, I feel like I'm selling an unrealistic expectation - something I can't keep up. But on the other hand, if I look like Gigantor already, I'm not going to have much chance to sell anything anyway. So I have a choice of honesty with no prospects, or marketing that I may not be able to live up to. How often it comes down to this in the dating world.

The Neti Pot

In desperation, I spent $20 on a Neti Pot today. I had read about them last year, but was skeptical. It sounded a bit off the wall to me. But Walter got one a couple of weeks ago, and he says it has really helped him. For those who don't know what that is, it is the latest new age home remedy for sinus problems. You use it to do nasal irrigation, and I'll let the curious follow that link if they wish. I will tell you it's kind of gross, but easier to do than it would seem. I was able to do it on the first try, and I have a severely deviated septum. After having a tickle in my sinuses that has been driving me insane for the last 48 hours and kept me up half the night, I was ready to try anything. About 3am last night, I was ready to stick a fork up my nose or claw my face off. I did it once when I got home, and again before bed. I have to say, I have found some measure of relief.

The bear dinner was tonight. We had it at El Matador, a very old restaurant in Greenville. Back in the day, it was the only Mexican restaurant in town. That was before our immigration wave hit, and before people started really moving here because of the large companies that moved in (bringing with them their more sophisticated palates). At the time, they had pretty bland food, since it was geared so Southerners would eat it, and people around here are notoriously suspicious of any new food. I haven't been in a long time, but I have to say, the food was very good. They have upgraded their menu, and offer some truly unique things. It is a family run place, which I like too. The guy running the place, still a member of the family, went out of his way to make us feel welcome, and they treated us like kings. I really enjoyed it. It won't be such a long time before I go back.

Dining with Friends is coming up, where people host dinner parties to raise money for AID Upstate. We all were invited to a dinner party later in the month, which should be nice.

Misery, thy name is pollen

Well allergy season struck today with a vengeance. I'm on three hay fever prescriptions to keep me breathing, and they are doing a pretty good job, but that doesn't stop my face from swelling up like an orangutan, my gums from being sore and tender, or keep me from feeling like I am dragging an anchor everywhere I go. Yes, I am about a pretty as the picture in your head at the mo.

For those who don't know, Greenville SC is consistently on the list of top 10 worst places in the country for pollen count. It is gorgeous outside. The roads are lined with Eastern Redbuds, Saucer Magnolias, Dogwood Trees, and Forsythia, all in exuberant bloom. It looks like "Song of the South" outside. Not that I can go outside. I am wondering once again why the hell I live here.

A nice enough evening, and an unexpected challenge

I gave myself my promised treat, and shopped my way home, looking for a tea pitcher. This is apparently going to be much harder than I thought. I went to two Big Lots stores, Family Dollar, Kmart, and Dollar General, and found nothing even close to what I was looking for. Who knew it would be so hard to find a decent tea pitcher here of all places?

I guess I could go to some more expensive places and see what they have. If what I saw today was any indication of the general merchandise available, I can see why brick and mortar stores are having such a hard time competing with the internet. Nothing but junk, junk, junk. I did check the Tupperware website, and they apparently don't make the classic pitcher in a 2 quart size any longer, although they still make the gallon size, which is too big for me. They do make a 2 quart size in their new line of clear acrylic stuff, and it is pretty, but it doesn't seal, and it costs $40. That is just ridiculous. Once again, technology zooms past the obvious. I could get one on Ebay, but I'd really rather buy something local if I can.

While I was out and about, I did finally stop at Frame Warehouse today to get a picture framed that I had been meaning to frame for years and years. I bought this weird cartoon book at the dollar store eons ago, and was going to have a page framed out of it. Michael's birthday present turned out so great that I was inspired to go ahead and drop this one off to finally have it done. They are SUPER nice people, and do beautiful work. They have done all my framing for years. I just love them. Diane, who runs the place, and I used to work together back as the earth cooled, and it's nice to see her, but the whole staff is just wonderful.

Bad dream

I dreamed last night that I was getting out Christmas decorations to put up for the holidays. Every box I opened was full of monkeys. Stuffed monkeys, blown glass monkeys for the tree, etc. I had decided that I was going to take them all to Goodwill, rationalizing that if Michael would have wanted them, he would have taken them when he went through the decorations. As I made a pile of things to take to Goodwill, I began to weep. My face was buried in my hands, and I was sobbing in my dream when the alarm went off this morning.

I guess this one isn't that hard to figure out. Michael's nickname is Monkey, and he used to collect monkey stuff. He's been on my mind lately because I sent his birthday present to him last week, and I've been waiting for him to get it. Also, I got his to me last week. Maybe this kind of real move out into the dating world is symbolically moving his stuff out of my head. I don't know. But I was really sad when I woke up this morning.

A busy day off

I took today off to recover from the party, and because I don't like having to worry about work the next day when I'm at the Hat Party. This has kind of become a tradition.

I had a lot of just stuff I needed to catch up on, between the surprise party and getting my hat ready, there was a lot I had let slide this year, plus there were just usual weekend chores that hadn't gotten done this weekend.

- I did and filed my income taxes
- Balanced my check book
- Did the grocery shopping
- Returned a book to the library
- Cooked a big thing of macaroni salad to eat on this week (I have been craving it, and homemade is just worlds better than that stuff from the deli)
- Roasted 4 pounds of broccoli
- Washed my grapes for fruit this week, so they would be ready to pack for lunches
- Called in my prescriptions to get them ready for pickup
- Did two loads of laundry

I did take have coffee on the porch this morning - it is my day off after all - even though it turned out ugly and cool again today. I'm not upset about that, I need to be inside anyway, although the yard is going to need some major attention soon. I had thought I might get some of that done today, but no dice. It rained some, plus I just ended up being busy most of the day. I did take a little recovery nap when I got home from the grocery store, because I was really dragging, but that's about all the down time I had.

I was going to Big Lots today, but didn't end up having time. I'm going to have to replace my old tea pitcher. I've had it for sixteen years, and it's falling apart. I only paid $1.50 for it, so I have certainly gotten my money's worth, but I'm kind of sad about it. I'm going back to Big Lots for the replacement since that is where the original came from. A silly thing to be sentimental about, I know, but I get kind of attached to stuff I have had for so long. Just as well I didn't go today. I'll save the trip for something to look forward to tomorrow when I go back to work.

I have met a really nice guy on Match.com, who is interested in old glass too. His name is Terry, and he is a 54 year old guy who lives in Tennessee. He says he is going to send me some stuff he has. He apparently used to collect and sell himself, but has gotten out of the business. He says no one in his family is interested in Depression Glass. I have a strange mix of apprehension and guilt. Either this guy is setting me up for something, or he's really nice and I'm taking advantage of him - and suspecting him. He has my address now, so I guess if he shows up and murders me, someone will know what happened now. I'm inclined to think he's just a nice, kind of lonely guy though.

Winner - Most Flawless, Queen of Nine Planets, Before Whom All Must Bow Down

Karen, Dan'l's sister, broke a gender barrier today, by being the first woman to win Most Flawless, QONP,BWAMBD. It could not possibly happen to a sweeter woman. Good for you Karen!! We were all very proud and happy for her. She wore a grass skirt to match her hat during the Parade of Hats.

Winner - Funniest

Russ won for Funniest this year!!!! Yay Russ!! This flamingos surfing hat was great, and Russ of course wore it with total panache. After the winners were announced, Russ added these flamingos to the flock that are in Dan'l's yard.

Winner - Most Original

This is Trish's winning hat for this year's Most Original. It was no shame at all to lose to this beauty. The clear part you see is actual water, which contained a live fish. It really is a great hat.

A hat party picture I later got from Dan'l. I'm second from the right, in the purple lai with no eyes.

The Hat Party 2008

A picture of me in my hat at the parade of hats.

My hat. This year's theme was "Tropical", so my hat was "Tropical Punch". Those big red things on the top are boxing gloves that have been fabulized. The base was a real cut glass punch bowl.

The back of my hat. This shows the punch bowl base. The prize I won is in this pic too.

Is over for another year, and unfortunately, Most Original continues to elude me. I did place third in that category, so I have now placed second and third for Most Original, and it's turning into one of those "always a bridesmaid..." situations. But as always, it was a FANTASTIC party, and it was lovely to see everyone. Eddie Crane brought a pound cake that was like the Helen of Troy of desserts - kingdoms would fall for it. It's always good, but Lord, this year it was practically illegal. Most things that good are in this state.

My inner ring for the hat fell BACK out again tonight, but fortunately, it was after the Parade of Hats and the voting, so it didn't matter so much then. I won't be keeping this hat. It will go to work next week, and then to the spring campout for LOCK, because I will take it to show Myz Kitten; but after that, she's history. Too damn much trouble went into it to not win! I'm done with it.

Each year, there is a magic moment at the hat party. We all know each other so well, and there are some years that it's the only time we're all together. Some years, when the weather is nice, we drag quilts out into the yard and look up at the stars, just talking and enjoying each other's company. This year it was too cool for that.

But later in the evening, I was sitting out on the large screened porch. Golden lamplight pooled on the porch and ran off into the yard. I could see Jim and Dan'l's sister Karen dancing together through the kitchen window. They weren't really doing a set dance, just moving together in pure exuberance, smiling at each other. In the glider across from me, Karen's son had his head in Rick's lap, the glider rocking, the two of them covered in a blanket. It was lovely to be there, and be a part of it all. I felt safe, happy, and loved. That was the golden moment this year for me. Would that we're all together for many more.

My Hat is done!!

When I woke up this morning, I went to check on my hat, and found the insert lying on top of the freezer in a pool of still-wet glue. I was REALLY pissed. But I took the bull by the horns, took a risk, and used the hot glue. The syrofoam for the instert was a different kind, which is supposed to be hot-glue relsilient, but I hadn't wanted to take any chances. It seems to be fine. I don't know if the hot glue will hold to the glass long-term or not, but if it falls out again, I can just balance it and the hat on my head for the Parade of Hats and call it a day.

The weather today is windy and cold for this time of year here (55 deg F), but at least it is clear and pretty outside. I was pissed at that wind yesterday while I was working with glitter outside, but at the time, I thought, "This will be worth it if it is blowing all those rain clouds off." Apparently it was.

I went to the flea market after that, both to see the woman (who wasn't there again), and to get the rest of the decorations for the hat. I knew the rest of it would go together pretty quickly, once I got the two major parts of the decoration on. I was worried about putting them on, because they are the key to the whole hat, and if they break the hat, the idea is pretty much ruined, but as usual, like the parts I wasn't worred about that turned out really hard (i.e. that &*&^%#$@!! insert), the parts that I was worred about totally worked. They went in VERY easily, look great, I didn't have to mess them up mounting them, and they feel secure. So the pains I took on the base were worth it. I finished the decorations, and made some preliminary pictures to send to Justin. I'm going to have some better pictures made to post on here at the party later.

I talked to Russ, and he and Billy will be here in about an hour and a half, so I have to scamper. Now the fun part - the party!!

A full Saturday*

First thing when I woke up this morning, I checked the insert for my hat. It still felt a bit damp, but it just has to go in. I am attaching things to glass this year. The glue I used for the first part didn't dry clear (although it was supposed to, grrrrr), so I used some clear craft glue to put the insert in. I needed to do that especially because this part goes inside, so the glue will show to the outside of the hat. I weighted it in, and figured I could give it 12 hours to set today, and if I do all the decoration tomorrow I can let it dry overnight. That should be enough time, even with all this damp. I hope.

Had coffee on the porch after, which is just always a good start to the day. I went to the flea market this morning because this woman who bought all this stuff from a defunct antique store told me she was bringing some bubble glass for me to see, but she wasn't there. In fact, almost no one was. It was ugly and overcast.

When I got home, I decided to take a nap while it rained. I hope tomorrow is prettier, today has been ugly so far.

I woke back up later than I intended, and realized I needed to call Walter. We had a date tonight. So I did that, and then realized that since he was coming over tonight, I had to shake a leg and straighten up this house. I really hadn't done anything this week but work on my hat when I was home, and it looked pretty rough.

I did some decoration for my hat, and then hauled off the recycling and ran some errands. After a bit of lunch, I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning house. It really needed it.

Walter showed up about 7. We talked on the porch for a while, since neither of us was in a hurry for dinner. Conversation flows really naturally with him. I guess it's because we knew each other before. We decided to go for Indian food, because he hadn't been to Saffron yet, and the food there is so amazing. He loved it as much as I did, and raved about how good the food was. After that, we rented a movie and came back to the house to watch it. We got in some good snuggle time on the sofa during the movie, and a bit afterwards....

He left about 1am, since he has to play piano at church in the morning. It was a really nice evening, and I had a really good time with him.

A visit from Justin

Justin came over tonight so we could get caught up on each other, and what's been going on, gossip, etc. Of course he wanted to see my new glass. I fed him some Caponata, which he seemed to like. We talked for a while and had iced tea on the porch; it was lovely weather this evening. While we were getting ready to eat, my old friend Terry came by. It was SO good to see him. He stayed and talked for a while. We were really close for years and used to live right next door to each other. The things we used to get into. It was like an X-rated (at times) Lucille Ball show. I'm still not sure who Ethel was.

I was going to glue the insert for my hat in tonight, the part that keeps it balanced on my head, but the glue still wasn't dry! It had dried all day while I was at work. This humid weather is killing me this spring, since I'm working with all cold glue.

After he left, I spent a lot of the rest of the evening telling Justin stories from when I was his age (or not much older) and the stuff I used to get into. Then we got into some music stuff, so I burned him a DVD. We looked at pics of his boyfriend Graham's booth at the antique store while we had the computer on. It was a great visit, and it's always good to see him.

He left in the midst of a pretty intense thunderstorm. I hope we're going to have nice weather for Sunday!

Happiest. Video. Ever.

furry happy monsters

I love Muppets. And Michael Stipe is so adorable in this video I could just eat him up!

The practical side of insomnia.

I woke up at 4am this morning, and started going through hat construction stages in my mind. I realized that I no longer had enough drying time between parts. So I got up and worked on my hat for an hour. I got the first part attached, and the second part covered in fabric. If things go as I hope, I can attach these second part tonight and start decorating tomorrow, giving it overnight Saturday to dry.

I went back to bed to see if I could get a bit of sleep, and had that weird sleep were you sleep, but you realize you're laying in the bed still. I dreamed that someone had come into my house and left a deluxe washer and dryer in my inexplicably much larger laundry room. I just walked in to find them there, and my old ones gone. While they were in there, they had painted the laundry room a lovely shade of canary yellow. I was standing there, dumstruck, when the alarm went off. Weird.

The things I dream about are just never in the dream dictionary. I read that in a Freudian interpretation, water in dreams is a symbol for sex. Of course everything else was to Freud too, but I'm sure he would have something interesting to say about that dream. If water is sex, what the hell kind of screwed up does it mean when you dream about a washing machine?

I no longer have Rue McClanahan hair!

I mean it's great and all, and it works on her. I just don't want it on me! I'll never have Rue McClanahan hair again. No, nor any of my folk (if they don't want it). If I have lie, steal, cheat, or make tuna casserole. As God as my witness, I'll never have Rue McClanahan hair again!

Apparently my recent indifference to my appearance has passed.

Paul called as I was getting ready to leave work yesterday, to ask if Mom and Dad had shared their side of the quarrel. When I admitted that they had, he wanted to get into a discussion about it, but I told him I just really don’t want to be in the middle. He did tell me that this has really affected them, and that Brenden (my nephew) has had a really hard time dealing with it. The whole thing is sad.

I am SO incredibly grateful to have my hair cut!! It had been too long.

After that, Russ and I went to dinner, out for nasty Chinese buffet. Who should we run into the minute we walk in the door but M from Wed night, out for dinner with a companion. Quite a coincidence, since I haven't seen him since last summer before this week. I have to say, he was very nice to me, asking me how things went with dinner. He was apparently concerned that my modesty had been offended in some way, which I found very kind of him, if a bit puzzling. So few people assume that I have any modesty left any more.

Russ and I ate, and talked about the Hat Party, and caught each other up on what has been happening in our lives. I told him about my family drama.

I’m telling you this “year of the rat” is living up to it’s reputation. There is just sneaking and drama all over the place, much of it involving money. It has come at me from all sides in the last couple of weeks.

We ended up talking and eating until 8:40. Sigh. I really enjoyed it, and I always love to see Russ, but it’s another night with no hat work.

By the time I ran a quick errand and got ready for bed, it was 10pm.

A late birthday gift - impressions

When I got off work last night, I ended up running late. I got the call that Michael’s birthday present was ready, so I went to pick it up, and drop it at one of those "pick, pack n ship" places to get it to him as soon as I could. His birthday is Friday. I mailed his card this morning, hoping he would get it on time, since I figured his present would be late. Turns out I was right. It was going to cost $30 to get it there by Friday and $20 to get it there by next Monday or Tuesday, so I did that. I spent a good bit more than usual on his present this year, just because I found something that I thought would be perfect. I was glad I did.

When I got home, my present from Michael was on the front porch. It was a big box, and I could see why he told me it was an awkward thing to get transported. He sent me adjustable screens for my windows! I have wanted some for years, but had no idea where to get them. None of the hardware stores around here have anything like them. Totally unexpected, but a great thing. I was really tickled.

All this put me running late for dinner at the new guy's house, which turned out to be a very strange evening. It was certainly the most unusual menu I think I have ever been served.

I called him to let him know I was running a bit late, and he was very nice about it. I wasn’t as late as I thought I would be. But dinner wasn’t finished when I got there anyway, so it was fine.

As I came in, he showed me his glass, which was cool. He had some nice pieces, although some of it was older than Depression Glass, and out of my area of expertise.

The Roommate

He had told me his roommate might be around. As we were talking in the kitchen, the roommate came in. I knew this guy already; I had met him last summer. I’ll just call him M. M is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in real life naked. His body is stunning, and he was blessed with genitalia to match. Absolutely gorgeous all over. He is one of those few people who actually looks better naked than he does clothed. He has the type of beauty that inspires artists and transcends socio-economic strata. This first time I saw him, he was very rude to me. When I next saw him, I didn’t recognize him from the night before, but was absolutely dumb-founded with just looking at him. I ended up just finally telling him that he was absolutely gorgeous, which was why I was staring. I literally could not peel my eyes off of him, drinking in his image as if to permanently burn it into the synapses of my brain, lest I never again see his equal. He took it in stride. It was probably about the fifth time he had been told that already that day. It was about 9am.

It turns out, unsurprisingly, that Russ and Billy know him. He came over to talk to us after he got cleaned up. After he relaxed around me, since we had mutual acquaintances, I could see a bit of the person he probably is in private. He had the grace to appear embarrassed when I finally connected him with our initial meeting. When he started talking, he was more like a real person, although still pretty bitchy at times, but then, hell I am too.

I think he must have had to develop a reserve, a way to keep people at bay. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through life with everyone you meet: man, woman, dog, quadriplegic, all wanting to fuck you. To have every eye that comes across you follow you with lust. M is a universal type that would make nuns horny. That must be a terrible strain, after a while. I know it sounds great initially, but I can’t imagine living my life that way. Don’t guess I’ll ever have to worry about that. LOL

M doesn’t have the best face. He has a good face, but not the best face. His lips and nose are a tad heavy for perfection. When he smiles his eyes are lively and his mouth attractive and sensual; but in repose, his mouth tends to form a dissatisfied pout, and his eyes drop to a heavy lidded half-mast of ennui. He appears to be spoiled to excess and the best of everything. He remains attractive and youthful, but his face is no longer fresh-looking. Unsubstantiated hot n juicy gossip (although from a fairly reliable source) is that he is not used to having to work terribly hard, the gaps in his wants being filled with generous patronage. It is also rumored that he has no patron now. But of course those kinds of rumors always follow the suspiciously beautiful. At least in the gay world.

I’m thinking, "Why does (the date guy) live with this guy? Who wants that kind of competition lounging sensually around their house?" Sitting next to this guy, most people look like "Uggo the Dog-faced Boy".

And who wants to grow accustomed to that level of beauty? Seeing M every day would make it so much harder to be attracted to a real person. Either he is naïve, being just out, or just oblivious, although I find that hard to believe. Or maybe he is just less superficial than I, and more secure in the fact that pretty is as pretty does.

For the bitchy parts of the above assessment, I am perfectly willing to admit that sour grapes may be part of the mixture. This guy is totally out of my league, and frustrated desire always tends to get ugly. And whatever the cost and aggravation it entails, there is a part of me that would cheerfully give my left nut to look like that.

The Meal

This post has been redacted at the request of the subject, who threw a good old fashioned hissy-fit.

Winner Funniest - 2003

This is my hat from the "Hat Razzamataz" party in 2003. This one also was 36" across. I made the little head-dresses for the horses and the girls, as well as their skirts, from the same fabric the hat is covered in. Each of the girls had their own hairstyle - my sister came down from Charlotte to do the hair for me. Also, each of the girls had their own little felt coochie glued on. The blonde on the far left of this picture wasn't a natural blond LOL. I won "Funniest" in this hat, and my first trophy at a Hat Party.

Winner Most Flawless 2004

This was the Hat Hoedown - don't go there.

Nicole and me on the fabulous pudendum

Me with my prize :)

Another hat picture 2005

This is my hat from 2005 (obviously). The theme that year was "Fairy Tales". The little guy on my chest isn't on my shirt. I had a miniature Prince Charming climbing the hair. I used packets and packets of hairbows, which was my favorite part of the hat. There were 24 feet of braids on this hat, done in three sections. Two were wrapped around my head - there is no filler, that is all yarn "hair", and of course the third one went down my the back. I placed second (first runner-up) in "Most Original" with this hat. I had surgery that year, so I braided yarn while I was at home recovering.

Winner Most Flawless 2006

Here is a picture of me in my hat from last year. The brim was 36" wide. The veil was piped with the same fabric I used to cover the hat. The crown was an old lampshade that I re-covered. I won "Most Flawless, Queen of Nine Planets, Before Whom All Must Bow Down" in this hat. I was pretty happy with it. It was inspired by an old McCall's poster in my bedroom.

Less selfish issues

FREE TIBET

I've been following the story about the Olympic torch, and the massive protests that have met its global progress. I'm waiting to see what happens in California today.

I read the history of the country and was horrified to read of the brutal invasion by the Chinese in 1950-51. At that point they forced Tibet to sign the "17 point agreement", violating their prior treaty of the Simla Convention of 1914, and reducing Tibet to the status of a Chinese province. In the process, they killed about 400,000 people. In 1953, the Chinese census reported 2.8 million poeple. By 1964, the popluation was only 2.5 million. There had been so many deaths, the government was forced to acknowledge 300,000 people as "missing". 10% are presumed to have fled. The rest are presumed to have been interned. Few survive being interned. China stripped the native monasteries and "aristocrats" of the land they owned, and "re-distributed" the land. Anyone else hear the similarities to Apartheid here?

For China to fault the Tibetan system as being draconian and unfair is ironic to say the least. They defend their actions as trying to "modernize" Tibet. The bottom line for me is this: for any government to treat citizens in it's charge with the brutality the Chinese government has treated Tibetans removes any fealty those citizens may have ever owed that governmnent.

The suppression of free speech becomes harder in our modern world. Media is too pervasive. There are too many Tibetan ex-patriots who may speak freely about the conditions their countrymen are forced to endure.

It makes me FIERCELY proud to live in a country where people continue to care about the plight of the downtrodden - even in the midst of an unpopular war to which so many have given their lives. It makes me just as proud to see people take to the streets and be able to express that care, that opinion, that knowledge freely and openly. This is what democracy is supposed to be all about. God bless everyone on the streets of San Francisco today. May your cries for justice be heard by the world. God bless the Tibetans. May He bring you relief and an end to your suffering, and consolation for the loved ones you have lost. And, as hackenyed as it sounds, and as much as I hate the way jingoistic bigots have conscripted this phrase: God Bless the United States of America.

Petty petty me.

I found out today that two very close friends of mine had dinner out Saturday night with another friend of mine (I introduced them, even) and didn't call to invite me. Should that have to call me every time they are together? Of course not. But it kind of hurts my feelings that they had dinner out together on Saturday night, while I had dinner alone. I thought they were out of town.

Petty, I know, but it still makes me feel bad.

One problem is resolved

A solution to one of two hat problems came to me this morning out of the blue, and I feel pretty good about that. On the other one, I'm just going to have to say a little prayer that my solution works. I finished up the fabric on one part today, and tonight I can start working on the other part.

I'm having dinner tonight with the guy from Friday. He asked, and he is a really nice guy, and I really wish I could be interested in him, so I'm going. There is a line after which you're leading someone on, but I don't think two dates crosses it. I'm giving him every chance to ignite some kind of spark. I hope it works.

Hatting again.

For some reason, I really didn't want to work on my hat tonight. I worked on it a bit this morning, and picked up supplies on the way home, and then just didn't feel like doing anything with them when I got home. I have two problems right now, one of which I'm not happy with the solution, and the other I know I should have a solution for, but it just won't come to me.

So I ate dinner, finished up my latest Sookie Stackhouse book, and forced myself to do a little work on it before I went to bed. I hate the structural parts. I just want to get to the decoration part. But of course the structural part is just as important.

So I'm reluctantly acting like a grownup. Kinda.

Hatting is officially started

Brushes went into glue tonight. I had started working on the Styrofoam this weekend, and finished shaping it tonight. The I started putting on the fabric. This year's hat is going to bring up unique challenges, but at least I have started....

I talked to Ryan and Christa from next door. They loved the Caponata, and were very complimentary. They are such nice folks. But of course complimenting my cooking is the fast track to my heart.

Birthday resolutions

The "Grimace" cookie jar. I just know this thing will be worth a fortune someday.

Seems like the last couple of weeks have been all about birthdays. First there was finding the lamp so I had something great to send Cindy for her birthday. Then there was getting dana's birthday party all together.

I talked to Michael this weekend, and he told me that my birthday present was on the way as of Saturday. My birthday is September 9. But for Michael, this is really fast work. He is notoriously bad about getting presents to people after he buys them. I personally know of one present he bought for a friend of his that he finally just kept. But hearing about my present got me started thinking about his again. Michael's birthday is coming up on 4-11, and I just happened to stumble across the absolute perfect thing for his birthday about two weeks ago, so I ordered part of it then. I went to see about the rest of it today, using my lunch hour. I risked life and limb to brave Woodruff Road at lunch time.

I also finally got Lisa's birthday present ordered today. I figured if I was already working on Michael's gift, I should get hers squared away, since her birthday was March 1. She had wanted a purse like one I got for my mother a couple of years ago for Mother's Day. The problem is, I couldn't remember where I got it, nor could I find another like it. I found one similar, but I knew it wasn't what she really wanted - it wasn't leather. So I finally found a leather one today that will do what she wants. It didn't cost the earth, but it cost a whole lot more than the one I bought for Mama. But I'm pretty sure it's exactly what she wants, so it's worth it.

Anyway, while I was up on Woodruff today, I stopped in the Goodwill up there again, but no dice. I think that one little bowl must be the only thing I was meant to find at that store. But I keep seeing this Grimace cookie jar. It has been there for weeks. It is real ceramic, and I know there are apparently a lot of people now who collect McDonald's stuff. It has some light wear marks on it - it's been used, but I just know it's going to be a collector's item someday, and I'm going to kick myself 30 years from now for not buying it. The problem is I don't want to store it for the next 30 years. I have enough crap already. I wish someone would buy the damn thing. It's only $5.50. *EDIT* Ok, I looked it up. It was made in 1997. Looks like they are going for $10-15 on Ebay. If I had a decent digital camera, I would get it to try and sell.

What. A. Day.

After the flea market, I knew I had to shake a leg today. Lots to do.

I put the sweet potato pie in the oven for BB, then started making Caponata. I chopped veggies for a good while, then put it all on to slow cook. Did some laundry and then got cleaned up to go to the nursing home.

I packed up my new Bubble Glass bread plates to serve the pie on, and cloth napkins and stuff to make it nice for BB. When I got there, Mom and Dad were there visiting. Dad called me after they left, and asked me to meet them for dinner when I left BB. BB was in pretty good spirits overall, and thrilled to get pie. The woman across from her is dying though, so there was a lot of her family in and out. BB pretty much takes it in stride. She says this is the seventh roommate she's lost, which is pretty sad.

After my visit with her, I met Mom and Dad for dinner. And Dad told me his side of the whole Cindy and Paul debacle. More drama and heartbreak. The whole situation is really sad all the way around. And now they can't see my nephew Brenden any more. They are pretty broken up about it.

I called Mama and talked to her a while when I got home. She spent the day in Charleston yesterday, and had a good time with her friends. We swapped dating stories for a while.

I went out on the porch for a while, and saw the neighbors carrying in pizza, so I dished up some Caponata for them to eat with the crusts and gave it to them.

And I am done, and in for the night.

What a great flea market day!

Sylvan or "Parrot" 10.5" grill plate in green, by Federal Glass Company, circa 1931-1932

Wow. Major find today. I didn't think there would be many people out today. Usually on overcast muddy days, it's pretty deserted. But since it rained all day yesterday, people were anxious to get out and SELL stuff! And good for me!

I warmed up by finding two blue bubble bread plates, and two saucers with cup rings for 0.25 each, so I got them. That woman had bought a bunch of box lots at an auction, and offered to let me go through the rest of the boxes in her truck. I did, but didn't find anything I wanted, although she had some cool stuff. She said she has more bubble glass she will bring for me to look at next week. She was really nice. I tried to tell her a bit about the stuff she had, but my knowledge outside of Depression Glass is pretty limited.

Then as I wandered through the other section, I saw the Parrot grill plate. Usually people that have this know what it is. It is fairly rare, and one of the more expensive Depression Glass patterns. The story is that a designer vacationed in the tropics, and was inspired to create the design, but Federal wasn't happy with it. They felt that there was too much open space on the pieces, and that utensil marks would show too easily, so the pattern was only made for about a year. I paid $5 for a grill plate that is old-book priced at $32. Mine does have a small chip on the edge, but is still well worth what I paid for it. When I was looking online, I noticed these pieces don't seem to be selling for book value. Probably the high prices have driven off people from collecting this pattern.

I ran low on money, and had to go get more to complete my produce buys, but with deals like that, I don't mind making a bank run at all!

Nice start to the day

It's still overcast, but at least it has stopped raining for a bit. Coffee and ciggies on the front porch, and a nice texting thing with Walter. He's been out of town this weekend, doing some kind of music thing for high school students, and has been on my mind.

I'm going to the flea market today to see if anyone is there. I have to have some produce anyway. I'm making Caponata today, an Italian eggplant dip/relish/spread.

Song for a Saturday night

I have this recorded by Ann Hampton Callaway. It's amazing, and perfectly describes how I feel tonight, alone on this yucky rainy Saturday.

Old Friend

Every time I’ve lost another lover
I call up my old friend
And I say let’s get together
I’m under the weather
Another love has come to an end
And he listens as I tell him my sad story
And wonders at my taste in men
And we ponder why I do it
And the pain of getting through it
And he laughs and says
“You’ll do it again.”

And we sit in a bar and talk ‘til two
About life and love as old friends do
And tell each other what we’ve been through
How love is rare and life is strange
Nothing lasts and people change

And I ask him if his life is ever lonely
And if he ever feels despair
And he says he’s learned to love it
‘cause that’s really all part of it
And it helps him feel the good times when they’re there

Yes, we sit in a bar and talk ‘til two
About life and love as old friends do
And tell each other what we’ve been through
How love is rare and life is strange
Nothing lasts and people change

And we wonder if I’ll live with any lovers
Or spend my life alone
And the bartender is dozin’
And it’s getting time for closin’
And we figure that I’ll go it on my own

But we’ll meet the year we’re sixty-two
And travel the world as old friends do
And tell each other what we’ve been through
How love is rare and life is strange
Nothing lasts and people change
Love is rare, life is strange
Nothing lasts, people change

Lazy, lazy bear*

After being up so late last night, I was drug out and sleepy today. I woke up at 7:30am, late for me, ate some brekkie, and went back to bed. I mainly laid around and read. The cats are thrilled, and taking turns laying all over me. I alternately napped and read most of the day. I finally got motivated to get some things done a bit after 5pm, when I realized I was wasting the whole day.

I did a bit of work on my hat (not nearly as much as I had planned to do today), cleaned up the kitchen, took out the trash, some stuff like that. Then I got cleaned up and ran by Michael's craft store to get a hat piece I hadn't realized I needed.

On the way home, I took myself out to dinner. I finished The Godmother today, and started on the next Sookie Stackhouse book, so I went to dinner with just Charlaine Harris and me tonight. There was a cute boy sitting at the next table with two fat girls and a suspiciously fashionable haircut, so I was pretty sure he was gay. But of course he was a kid, and wasn't paying any attention to me.

I think I really just needed some downtime today. I hope I can afford it.

A date

Work was work. I’m coming off two exceptionally difficult weeks, but I’m seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope it isn’t a train.

I’m breaking in a new boss, and this was his first month end flying solo. It went very smoothly, all things considered, but I had to be very aware of how to keep it going that way. I’m also in the middle of the account from hell that I’m trying to un-snarl through our review department, as I have said.

By tonight, when I got home, I was ready for some peace, and quiet, and my good book. Plus the weather is awful. Nasty, drizzly, rainy yuck. But I had a late date tonight. At 10:30. In a bar. And not just a bar, but also a bar downtown which entails finding parking, and then walking through the yuck to get someplace I really didn’t have any desire to be. I really wanted to be tucked in bed with my book. So I was really trying to remember why I had thought this had seemed like a good idea before I even left the house.

But I had given my word. So I straightened up the house, showered, and went back out into the misery. Fortunately the rain had slacked off for a bit. I (amazingly) found a parking place for free within a block of the bar. As I headed that way, he called to say he was going to be late. I wasn’t particularly gracious. I was crabby, it was yucky out, and I really didn’t want to be at a straight bar this far past my bedtime already, and now he was going to be late on top of that?! Plus, I had just caught a glimpse of my reflection in a store window, and discovered that my faithful ole hoodie that is so comfy and warm gives me a remarkable resemblance to Jabba the Hutt. Not. Happy.

I tried calling back to see if he would meet me somewhere else, but now he wasn’t answering his phone. A text message elicited no response. Grrrr.

I got to the bar, and got a table. I was dressed for comfort and warmth, not really for style. In keeping with current fashion, the bar featured no carpet, no rug, no curtains, nothing to muffle this two-storied echoing chamber of noise. Which began filling up with children. Noisy, loud, thin, fashionably dressed children with cocktails. All having a great time. As I sat there, by myself. I ordered a glass of wine, actually a quite nice Albarino. And I sat. And waited. A lumpy, quiet, solitary dodo in a room full of sociable flamingos. From somewhere, a loud stereo began blaring rock music into the reverberating cacophony.

I was in Greenville's only Tapas Bar. I have been there once before, but never went back because a) the food wasn't that great, and b) the prices were practically usury. There was however, one particularly good dish they used to make, a stuffed mushroom with a cheese and wild rice filling that was exceptional. I found that it is no longer on the menu.

Half an hour later, as I was paying for the over-priced wine, and preparing to hie the fuck back home, he got there.

We ended up in a little coffee place down on South Main; formerly crack central, now charmingly re-urbanized and christened “Scenic West End”. We talked. Or I talked. A lot. I asked him some of the questions I had been wondering about.

The rest of this post has been redacted by the subject, who threw a good old fashioned hissy-fit.

Pretty discouraged

With work today. I have this horrible account that I am trying to resolve with our horrible returns department, and it won't go away. After three interminable visits to my desk yesterday, on top of my regular work, I was pretty done for the day. I loathe our returns department. Our warehouses are beholden to no one. And they bonus on how many credits they don't issue. Yeah. Do the math. Getting a credit issued is like trying to get Anne Coulter to stop being a complete bitch. Well maybe not that hard.

I went straight home last night in the cold drizzly yuck, put on my fuzzy socks, got under my snuggly blanket (from Russ and Billy for Christmas last year) and read, while allowing the cats to love me back to a semblance of humanity.

Fortunately I'm reading an excellent book by a great author I just found: The Godmother by Elizabeth Ann Scarborough. I am enjoying it immensely. It's nice to have someplace to esacape. I'm still indulging my Charlaine Harris addiction. I finished Club Dead this week - it was GREAT. That woman sure knows how to end a book. I had to order a short story compilation to progress in the series - my one complaint about both her and MaryJanice Davidson. But I went ahead and ordered it, and put the next two books in the series on call with the library. I'm really enjoying the Sookie Stackhouse series. I'm going to be sorry when I finish them! Fortunately I am not anywhere near the end, and I'll sandwich some other stuff in there to make it last.

I talked to Dan last night some more. He is a really nice guy, but I swear I think I'll just talk that boy to death. It's hard for him to get a word in edgewise on the phone with me. He just starts topics I am naturally loquacious about. He may come down on Saturday, he hasn't decided yet.

After a simple dinner of tuna salad (the cats were thrilled, they got the juice), I just read and enjoyed the silence. Sometimes it's good to be single. I just really didn't feel like being around anyone else.

My body is talking to me.

Actually, it's yelling at me. I am reminded that I have not enjoyed the company of a gentleman companion (i.e. gotten laid) since 3-16-08. George is apparently very unhappy about this.

I am reminded of a Marga Gomez routine where she's talking about how you're not really thinking about it, just idly marking that another week has gone by, and then suddenly you realize that you're biting the heads off live puppies (I'm paraphrasing, but it's funny when she does it).

I was not-so-subtly awakened this morning at 5:30am by a disturbing, yet titillating dream involving Matthew McConaghey with an enormous and apparently prehensile schwanzstuker. It had fire coming out the end at will also. Having opened up that bizarre can of Freudian worms, I'll stop.

It is definitely time to get back out there.

I was so bad tonight

I went to find hat fabric tonight. And I ended up buying it from Wal-Mart (I did check Hobby Lobby first, but they had nothing that would work). And I was supposed to bake a pie tonight for BB, but didn’t feel like it. And since I was up there anyway, I stopped at the all-you-can-eat pizza trough on Woodruff.

After that, I got to go to Big Lots, which I had kind of been saving as a treat. I love to go to Big Lots. But I usually spend way too much money when I go. Fortunately, being stuffed to the gills worked out great for me there. I was so full, I wasn’t tempted to buy a bunch of novelty end-of-run food stuff like I usually am. I don’t know why extinct potato chip flavors and failed Betty Crocker mixes thrill me so (other than of course that ALL potato chip flavors thrill me), but they do. As it was, I corpulently waddled in, got what I needed, and waddled out. At least it kept me from spending too much.

The problem with buying cool stuff at Big Lots, of course, is that there isn't any more of it. I am currently using the best hair gel I have ever used, but I got it there, and they aren't making any more of it. Pity. I'm going to have to switch off.

In other news, my personal life seems to be looking up a bit. Maybe.

I am meeting a guy for a drink Friday night. He seems nice, but there are complications there. First, his life is so full I really don’t think he has time for a boyfriend. He is in numerous plays. That’s great for him, but frankly, I have been an office widow before. I don’t think being a theater widow would be much better. Plus he has three teenage kids. I have never been around any but my nephew for the weekend – I don’t know that I am ready to be a step-monster. And yes, I know that I don’t have to be, but that doesn’t matter. Any step-parent is a step-monster to the kids. It doesn’t seem to matter how good you try to be to them. His are at least apparently through the worst of adolescence, thank God. But of course I’m thinking way down the road. Why am I meeting him? Well I need to get out there. If I keep eliminating them all up front, that could conceivably never happen. Plus, I was really not thinking about Michael seriously when I went to meet him for the first time either, and that worked out pretty well for a while. It was the most significant relationship I have had (to date anyway).

I may have a guy coming down from Asheville to see me this weekend too, Dan, whom I mentioned earlier. He is a very sweet guy – I’m thinking maybe too sweet for me. When we talk, I always feel kind of like Maleficent, about to devour an unsuspecting Cinderfella.

But I may scare them both off anyway, so this is all premature. I’m supposed to call Dan tomorrow night to talk about stuff before he decides whether or not to come. Down. The mountain. Oh forget it, you know what I mean.