The gayest evening ever

Justin called today out of the blue, and said he both wanted to see me, and wanted to go to the mall. I did have shopping I needed to do, and decided that the mall wasn't going to get any more sane between now and Christmas. Plus I really wanted to see him, so I said sure.

He met me at the house and after a brief tiptoe through the new glass, we headed out. We ate at the food court. I know. But I was hungry, and we had some things to do. The Thai food I had was bad enough to be the cause of an international incident, but then I suppose the ambassador will never taste it. The Greenvillians, though, were lapping it up like manna from heaven. Most of the dishes just looked like Chinese food, which I found odd. But it filled the hole.

It soon turned out that this was more a shopping trip than a Christmas shopping trip, but we had a really good time. Justin has lost tons of weight, and needs new things. I'm finding it, and finally decided to buy more pants. I loathe to buy pants. Apparently most other fat guys do too, since a) there were like 3 styles of pants and 8,000 shirts in each "big & huge" section; and b) there was pretty much one color. Khaki. You can have any color pants you want, as long as they're tan. I exaggerate only slightly. There was an occasional gray pair to relieve the monotony, and some brown mixed in, but for the most part, just acres of khaki. Since I need a new pair of olive green pants, this was not encouraging. I did find a couple of pairs of silvery green ones that were basically another shade of gray, but that was it. The pants I found that I liked of course did not come in upright hippo size. I remembered a) why I LOATHE to shop for pants; and b) why I usually just do a couple of clicks on line and fucking order them. If they cover my ass, and I can get it in them, then fuck fit. At least pants have been achieved.

I did find a brown plaid-ish pair I liked at Penny's. They were pretty cool, and were on sale. I also found a pair of tiny brown and tan hounds-tooth check slacks. I have always wanted a pair of hounds-tooth, but was holding out for black and white. These fit well though, and looked pretty good. They are thin enough for me to wear to the office. I work in an office full of scantily clad exothermic women who apparently mainline Coumadin, and would be happy living in a) hell; b) an active volcano; or c) boiling vents like those tube worms on the ocean floor. When I see my navel pop out like the button on a Butterball turkey, they are comfortable. Needless to say, I wear summer clothes to the office all year round.

These pants were also that magic polystyrene fabric that you can wad up and roll down a hill in a barrel full of rocks, but will come out and hang up looking just as they did before. (No I don't know why you would want that, but maybe it's one of those things that it's just nice to know you can do, whether you ever do it or not.) They also had the dreaded "comfort waist", which I have held out against for years, but which I have finally had to concede sounds like a good idea. Sigh. So with this purchase, I have acknowledged a new size and bought my first pair of old man pants at the same time. At least they aren't pleated. That is the hard line now. I would rather have my toenails chewed off by rabid weasels than wear pleated pants again. The stores are full of them though. God bless those heterosexuals.

I did get a few gifts, and got my Christmas tin of See's "Toffee-ettes". I know. It's a stupid name. They used to be called Almond Rocha, but apparently no one knew what they were. Since they look like cat box cookies (that's what I call them) I guess they needed something a bit more descriptive for the uninitiated. So I ate a couple, and they were just as orgasmic as I remembered. I was really glad I didn't have to choose between them and the Reese's Christmas Trees if they were both drowning, because I would be so torn. All the Reese's novelty candies are good (Hearts for Valentine's Day, Eggs for Easter, Pumpkins for Halloween, and Trees for Christmas) because they all have that extra thick peanut butter filling in them, but the Christmas Trees are the best. Something about all those points makes them more tasty, or maybe gives them a better mouth feel. Gee, I wonder why I need new fucking pants.

Anyway, that surrender over, we had kind of run out of time at the mall, which was closing. We went over to Old Navy, which Justin thought was open later but they weren't. Bed, Bath, and Beyond was though, and I got Mom the sheets she asked for for Christmas. I knew I wouldn't be able to buy them with her there, because she'd never let me spend the money for some nice ones. These are Wamsutta 400 thread-count in ecru Egyptian Cotton, and they're pretty fucking nice. First quality too - so they're actually bed-shaped, unlike most of my sheets. I'm gonna tell her I got them on sale. I did, but hopefully she won't figure out what I paid for them. They also had some of those new bamboo sheets, which were hella soft, but I'm conflicted about them. They fabric is supposed to be very tough, and bamboo requires a lot less chemicals and irrigation to grow (cotton represents a hugely disproportionate percentage of the water used for irrigation), but from what I understand the process used to make it into fabric is pretty heinous for the environment, kind of making it a wash there. At any rate, I wasn't buying experimental sheets for Mom for Christmas. They were fairly pricey too.

After we closed down all the stores, we headed back to my place, and Justin said he wanted some hot tea, so I got out the teapot and my pretty cups and made a pot. I was disappointed that I didn't have a nice tea-cloth or towel to put on the tray. I'll have to pick one up. I hate my teapot, because it was apparently one of the ones made to look at and droozles tea everywhere when you pour, but it does look good. I overfilled the cups and made matters worse, so I wrecked my already borderline ugly tea tray. At least I had Depression Glass cream and sugar service, since I have like 14 of each. The tea was good too. It was real, loose Earl Gray that I ordered from Britain. There is nothing like real Bergamot oil - you can really tell the difference in the cheaper teas. I think Twinings tea is really good, although I understand some tea snobs look down on it.

After we had our tea, Justin asked if I had a needle and thread, since he needed to sew up the arm on his sweater. When I drug it all out, I was inspired to do a bit of mending I had been putting off, so we had a little sewing circle. I sewed the button back on a pair of my existing olive green pants, reviving them. Good thing, since I couldn't find any.

He went to go home and pack (he's going home for Thanksgiving, of course) and I laid out my "fine young man" outfit for dinner tomorrow with Mom and Dad. I cleared away all the tea things and turned in.