Dating in SC is just not for the faint of heart

I got up late this morning, and decided not to go to the flea market. For one thing, it is too close to Christmas, and I really don't have any presents that I need to buy there. For another, I woke up at 7:30 this morning to monsoon rains outside, so I doubt there was anyone there anyway, even though it did clear up and become a pretty day.

I was ravenous. There was nothing in the house to eat. I did only emergency groceries last week. Also, I needed fresh sage so I could put my beans on to make Tuscan bread soup tomorrow. I decided to run up to the BiLo near the house for sage and something scrummy for breakfast. As usual, they didn't have what I needed. In a pissed and hungry mood, I drove all the way across town to Publix, a trail of environment-destroying exhaust and muttered profanities in my wake.

When I got there I decided since I was at Pulbix anyway, I'd just go ahead and get all the veggies for my soup tomorrow. Amazingly, they had all of them - there's a reason I love this grocery store - although I had to settle for pre-cut and bagged kale. I really prefer to pick, wash, and cut my own, not to mention it's cheaper. I also prefer black kale, but of course they didn't have that. The master plan last night was to go through Whole Foods on the way home, but the 'Watership Down' traffic explosion pretty much shot that all to hell.

Feeling indulgent, I also picked up some salmon cream cheese (one of the most delicious things in the Whole Wide World!, and which I don't allow myself very often), and some extra fiber whole wheat bagels for breakfast. When I got to the car though, that just seemed way too healthy. I went by Krispy Kreme and picked up a half dozen glazed doughnuts, remembering how good the ones at the beach were. Man those things are good! I got home, both myself and my car interior liberally sprinkled with doughnut icing flakes, and put the groceries away. I popped a bagel in the toaster, thinking that I needed something with some food content, and turned on the computer.

There was another message from a guy I had talked to on match.com. His name is H (redacted to protect the slighly less than innocent). His profile was very confusing to me, but his pics were cute, and he seemed like a nice guy. I sent him my phone number and he called. We talked for a minute, and then he told me he was actually close by. I decided to invite him over. The house looked like a cyclone hit it, but I threw on a pair of pants and strategically de-junked the living room.

Turns out he had:

- a bitter ex wife (they're separated, but the divorce is not yet final)
- a 7 year old daughter who adores him (not really a problem for me, except I was afraid of what would happen about visitation if he started seeing someone)
- a congregation

Yes, Virginia, he is an active minister whose congregation has not yet been clued in to his alternate definition of brotherly love. He has a degree from seminary, and wants to change jobs but has no idea how he will earn a living he leaves the ministry.

Not surprisingly, I had many questions. Of course most of them were about his faith, and how he's dealing with accepting his homosexuality. He told me he's not looking for a relationship right now (hello, good plan), but for friends. I can be a friend. But the sexual tension was fairly palpable in the living room. And I'm just very conflicted about the whole situation.

On the one hand, I am probably the kind of person he is looking for. A real person who isn't going to take advantage of him, and is experienced. On the other hand though, I really think I have enough to answer for without seducing priests. Surprisingly, this is the second time I have faced this problem. The first time though, the guy was going into the Catholic priesthood, and was looking for a "last fling" before he took vows. My choice there was a bit more clear. This one is more muddy. To me anyway. And of course this guy doesn't want to talk about religion or alternate theories of faith on his day off. Busman's holiday. But there were a lot of things I wanted to ask him. Eventually, the conversation just petered out (pardon the pun), the air full of things unsaid between us. He graciously took his leave, leaving me confused and conflicted about the right thing to do here.