Dinner out

The rain continues here today - and thank God for that. We are so dry we need all we can get! A few tornadoes moved through today, south of here, but none came close to work. Apparently there was enough of a storm to knock the power off over at Miss Kat's though. I was going over there tonight to visit, but she called me to say that she was stuck at work. She asked that I pick up Helen and meet her at a restaurant, or take Helen for dinner if she couldn't get away. Of course I didn't mind picking Helen up. I like her.

Helen was in high dudgeon when I got to the house, upset that the power was out, that her hair wasn't done, that she couldn't find her emergency supplies, etc. The key is to kind of make non-committal noises to show you're paying attention, and just let her blow off steam. She doesn't have anyone to talk to all day, and she needs it. After a few minutes, she was fine, and we went on to the restaurant. Miss Kat was able to get away, and met us there. We were all in the mood for seafood, which worked out great, since there is a seafood place near their house. Fortunately, by the time I picked Helen up and we ate, the power was back on at the house.

When we got back, Helen went on downstairs to her apartment, and Miss Kat and I settled in for a good visit. She has a lot going on at work right now, and dana is working on the road a lot, which makes that even harder.

We talked about the weekend, and the differences between the Trident Knights and LOCK. We talked about some people we know within the community and how they're doing. I talked to her about Joshua. He has continued to email with me today, and I really enjoy hearing from him. He also made a suggestion for a good book I could read. I may order it too after I get paid next week. We talked about pup headspace for a bit (we're both pretty mystified, for the most part, honestly).

I talked to her some about the dating thing. She was single long enough and recently enough that she can talk to me about it honestly and openly, without being condescending. Frankly, that is a huge relief. Most of my friends have been coupled so long they have completely forgotten what it is like to be single, and rely on platitude-laden advice that frankly at times makes me want to gnash my teeth in frustration, or snap at them - and I can't because I know they have the best intentions.

At this point, I think it would be easier for me to just give up. That's what I have been trying to do. When I meet someone like Joshua though, I start thinking hell, I'm only 40, and that it's a bit soon to throw in the towel. But hope is so much work. Meeting someone like Mitch, who awakens that hope and then just dumps me immediately, hurts. I'm asking myself if this is really just about not wanting to deal with the bullshit, or if I'm really just not strong enough to be back out there yet.

I've hit a patch lately where I feel more like myself. Or more like my new self anyway. There is no way my old self wouldn't have just dived into that group of men this weekend and met every one of them, rather than spend time reading in my room, and just stick mostly with people I know already. Last year, that would have really depressed me. Now, it just seems like acknowledging that I have changed. Since I don't have a rock any more, I don't fly as high as I used to. And I guess that's OK. I'm just having to get more used to not automatically being the most outrageous one in any given group any more.

I was really expecting that the last Michael tie being severed - the phone account - would put me in another bad place, but thus far it hasn't. My birthday is coming up. Sigh. That's always a bad time for me - especially when I'm single. So we'll see how I do with that. Also, the holidays are coming again. I do dread them, but not like I did last year. I was actually thinking about putting up the Christmas tree the other day. It's odd for me not to know whether I'm sea-worthy or not. But I guess that's just part of life. You don't stay the same.

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In other news, the ENT doc told me today that I don't need the CPAP machine any more. I'm borderline, but he says as long as I don't gain more weight (please God no) I should be OK.

Mom also saw the doc and got out of her cast and into a walking boot. She is transcendent. She goes back in a month, and hopefully they'll take the boot off too. She has been instructed to bring shoes :)