The best intentions go kaput

Well I really intended to get some cleaning done today. I really did. But not much got done.

I left off coffee on the porch, and made breakfast. Pancakes, snausage, and eggs with tea. I decided to eat a good breakfast so I wouldn't have to worry about stopping for a while. After that, I went on over to the flea market, which was once again nothing but junk. Since I was so full, nothing looked good to me, and I didn't get any produce either.

When I got home, I decided to take a nap, since I am so drug out from not sleeping well last week. I put in Sense and Sensibility to go to sleep by, and did sleep for a while, but then got into it, and ended up watching it, then going back and watching the parts I missed while I was asleep. I just love Emma Thompson in that movie. When she cries, I cry. I'm becoming a senitmental old fuddy-duddy, and I just love movies where everyone ends up happily paired off to the perfect guy. I suppose I enjoy it vicariously if not in real life.

After that I wanted more costume drama, so I put in Jane Eyre with Samantha Morton and went in the bedroom to roll my sleeves up and get started. I did get some heavy-duty dusting done - things I hadn't done in a while. But I got distracted doing little things. I cleaned my jewelery. I cleaned the brass with catsup (it really works just like on How Clean is Your House? on telly). Then I decided I had to eat some lunch before I went to my spa appointment.

The plan was I would leave at 3pm for my 4pm appointment. They encouraged you to get there early to socialize and partake of light refreshments. I stopped at 2 to eat lunch, and get cleaned up. Well after lunch, I decided I needed to lay down a bit more. I still felt drug out. The next thing I knew it was 3pm. So I dashed though the shower and headed for Miss Jan's for what they were calling Le Jour De Luxe.

It was interesting. When I got there, there was no one there that I knew, which surprised me. But Miss Jan was nice, and I came in and sat down and talked to her a bit. She had a Sarah Brightman concert DVD in, and we talked a bit about opera. After she shared with me that Ms. Brightman was her idol, I kept some of the more controversial opinions of the arts community regarding Miss Brightman's talent and career to myself. She did sing "Nessun Dorma" from an impressively soaring stage. I had never heard a soprano sing that aria before, as it is of course written for a tenor. Sadly, I think it lacked. Either the soprano range or Ms. Brightman's voice just didn't have the power needed to really project those big notes at the climax of the song. But then I have a recording of Pavarotti singing that at the height of his talents, so my ear is a bit jaded, perhaps.

After a few moments, and some kind of awkward h'ors deurves served by two make subs (they were on high protocal, and were to kneel with all offerings, and serve the plates for us - plus I'm sure some of my straight guy weirdness was going on) I was told my manicure was ready. The woman who gave me my manicure was very nice, and we chatted as she did my hands. Her Sir was at the table at the same time I was, and he was very nice and personable, and we chatted about this and that while our hands were seen to. My favorite part was the hand massage afterwards, which was great. After that, it was on to the pedicure station. I have to say, this was my first pedicure, but it won't my last. I LOVE having my feet played with anyway, and having them soaked in warm vibrating water, then pumiced, then massaged with lotion was WONDERFUL. The sub doing all this was called Liz, and she was really perfectly service-oriented. She blended into the background, communicating what was needed in a quiet voice, or by gesture. I really did feel served.

I went to the massage table feeling good and relaxed, but the best was yet to come. The woman who did my massage was from Columbia, and very much into high protocal. She had been doing the manicure for the other guy while I was sitting there. I have to say, as with many of the people I have met through LOCK, she wasn't someone you would probably look at twice on the street, but was really nice, obviously doing something that she enjoyed and that resonated within her. She also had magic hands. She gave me a great massage that was relaxing, but she didn't hurt me. I'd had two other massages before. One that was great, and one where they guy hurt me so bad I had to stop him. This was another great one. She worked out knots, but I was in heaven. It was lovely. If I could have purred, I would have. She is gay, and in service to a woman in Columbia. Lucky woman.

So I left, fat, happy, purry, and greasy. I had oil all over me from the massage, but I really didn't mind. It was off to Russ and Billy's to feed Oliver, their little special needs dog. They have three, but Oliver is a little Pomeranian. He's slightly imperfect. He has problems walking, among other things. He always looks like a wind-up toy that is just about to stop moving. Sometimes he gets over on his back and can't get back up. He has an enlarged heart, and has to have special food. He's also spoiled rotten. For some reason, though, he knows that stuff doesn't work on me, and he doesn't do it to me most of the time. He has Russ completely trained though. I mixed his food, set it down, and went to make a phone call. When he saw he wasn't going to be begged to eat, he ate pretty well with no fuss. I had a little puppy time, and loved on him some, then loved on the others as well before I left.

I had talked to Miss Kat and dana about visiting with them tonight, since I knew I wouldn't be getting anything else done after the massage. They were going to make banana splits. So I grabbed some dinner, showered off the oil, and headed their way.

It is always good to see them. We had a very enjoyable evening talking, smoking, eating ice cream, and laughing. It was a good visit. About the time I was feeling really sleepy, Miss Kat said she was too, so I left. On the way home, though, I got the munchies in the worst way and went through Wendy's for a blizzard and some fries. I almost never do stuff like that. Especially at the weight I am right now. I was thinking ruefully, even as I was eating it, that I would regret this next week when I'm at River's Edge.

The weekend is here

But I have to say I'm not particularly looking forward to it. I have to clean house. Russ and Billy will be out of town too. Bleah. On the upside, my desk is in good shape at work, and I'm all ready for month end on Monday.

I have just been kind of doing the minimum it takes to keep things barely acceptable on the house for a while, and it shows. Mom is coming on the 10th, and things have to be ship-shape by then though. It's enough she's coming to stay with me. I'm not having her cleaning house too while she's here.

Since I'm not doing anything much for fun this weekend, I took the night off. I finished Darkly Dreaming Dexter, and tried to watch some television. Direct TV is on my last nerve right now. My service has been on the fritz for two weeks. It's making me crazy. When it is working (when it is perfectly clear out, and there isn't a cloud for a 60 mile radius), all the channels don't come in. Grrrrrrrr.

I embody Sloth

Well I am cleaning house this weekend. And I have a really good book. So I just came home and read tonight, because that was what I wanted to do. Darkly Dreaming Dexter is as good as I thought it would be, and it was hard to lay it down last night on the cusp of yet another cliff-hanger chapter ending.

I did run by the store for breakfast stuff, did a load of laundry, and made some tea. That was it.

Saturday I have a spa day planned for charity, and I'm supposed to take my slippers and a robe. It's bad enough I don't have slippers and a robe that match. I looked at my slippers last night, and they were just grody. So I did a load of laundry so I could throw them in. Hopefully they'll have time to dry before Saturday afternoon.

Kind of a bad day

I slept terribly last night. I woke up hungry (God knows why after that huge meal I ate) and then couldn't get back to sleep. So I woke up this morning feeling drug out.

It was Wednesday, so I had the hell slides to put together for my boss. It went OK, with the exception that one of the people I have to get information from was being snappy about the deadline with me. Admittedly it is dildonic, but it's not like I set it or anything.

At lunch, I spilled half my food on the way to the microwave. That made me feel kind of like I was a kid and dropped my ice cream cone. Anna, my friend in the cafeteria, was really nice about it though, and refused to let me help clean it up.

My boss then dumped some urgent work on me at 5:29pm, just as I was getting ready to walk out the door. I had to stay and process at least some of it before I left for the day, so I ended up working late.

***

After work, I went to get gas. I am VERY grateful that a) I have a discount membership that allows me to buy gas for a few cents less a gallon; and b) that I have a smaller car that isn't too bad on gas. Some of my friends are paying $60-$70 for a tank! I'm really glad I can drive on a week for less. I'm carpooling with my friends more too, although I have started offering to kick in for gas so I don't seem like a mooch.

Then it was off to the library. I had four books waiting for me - Yay! Especially since it has been overcast, and I haven't had a TV signal for several days. I went out in the yard for a while tonight to see if moving some branches near the receiver would make a difference, but I'm pretty sure it's the weather.

Once I got home, I finished the latest Thursday Next from Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels. It is just as good as the others in the series, and I was very satisfied with the ending. I'm also glad he's planning on writing more of the series.

Then I had to get in the kitchen. I fixed my bland potato salad by making more sauce to go on it, and adding a bit of asian pepper garlic paste, which just makes everything better. Then I had to fix my soup. I made it after the camp out from some left-over vegetables, and it just turned out really bland. Plus I haven't really been in a mood for soup. But I figured it would be great for after the surgery. So I doctored it up some, washed some new containers I bought, and put it in the freezer. That way I can just throw a serving in the microwave if I don't feel like cooking.

By the time I got all that done, it was time for bed. I needed to get to bed early since I slept so badly last night. I did start a book called Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay. I have been wanting to read the series for a while, and finally ordered the first one from the library. It seems like it's going to be a really good read.

A trip to Spartanburg

After work tonight, I went up to see Justin. He had a piece of furniture he needed help moving. Turns out it was a big old wardrobe he had gutted and painted to use as an entertainment center. It was big, but not that heavy. We got that in and he fixed it the way he wanted it while we talked about the rest of our weekends (he was at the pool party Saturday) and what was going on with us.

After that, it was time for dinner. I was really looking forward to that, because we were going to Thai Taste, the most delicious Thai restaurant I have ever eaten in. Yes, I think it is even better than King and I, the one that used to be in Greenville that I have mourned lo these many years. I wasn't disappointed. The food at Thai Taste is even better than I remembered. I had fried tofu, pineapple, and tomatoes in a garlic chili sauce so delicious I could have licked the plate. YUMMY!

As if that wasn't enough, there was a table with several lovely manly-muscled arm guys for us to look at while we ate. Truly a notable meal.

While we ate, Justin talked to me about what to do about this rut I'm in. I keep resigning myself to be single, but then trying to date again - usually with disastrous results. I really don't want to leave and upheave everything, but Billy is afraid his job will be eliminated, and if that happens, Russ is pushing for them to move to Savannah. If they leave, I'm going to have to really think about what's keeping me here.

The quandry is where to go. The logical place is Columbia. That is where my mother is, and is closer to Lisa and Cindy (my sisters) and my neice and nephews. It's also not really any further from Wilkesboro (where my grandparents are) than where I am now. The problem is that I really don't like Columbia. Plus I would lose all my friends here, LOCK, and the bear group, although I'm fairly sure the bear group won't last long if Russ and Billy leave. I don't want to live in Atlanta. I like Charlotte, but Charlotte really doesn't make any sense now that Mom and Lisa have moved away. My friends Lee and Clayton live up there, but I really can't base a whole social life around them. They don't do that much socially.

So that leaves me here. Still. Griping as usual. Sigh.

The Day Off* - Happy Memorial Day!

The one chore I had set for myself today was that I HAD to mow the grass. The lawnmower has not been running, the yard has been OK, and I just hadn't felt like fooling with it, so I had been putting it off. About noon though, I knew it had to be dealt with. I went and got fresh gas, drained the tank, and eventually got the mower running again. It was a big relief not to have to spend a lot of money to get it repaired.

After that, I felt as if I had earned a bit of play. I need to do tons of stuff around here, but I wasn't going to spend my day off doing chores. I called Russ and Billy, and we decided to go see the new Indiana Jones movie this afternoon. I cleaned up and even did a bit of laundry before I left.

The movie was GREAT. I wondered if it would be as good as the originals were, and I really thought it was. Some of the CGI stuff was kind of stupid, like the sword fight that supposedly took place between two moving cars in a jungle, but overall it was very entertaining, and I really enjoyed it. I really like the new baby Indy, Shia LaBeouf. La Beouf indeed. Another fine piece of man delivered to us from Disney, the company that discovered Kurt Russell.

After that, it was back home to get ready for the work week, and get to bed early. I haven't been to bed before 1am the last two nights, and figure my Circadian Rhythm is completely screwed up.

Some kitchen time

Today was a bit odd. Russ had talked about going to the flea market today, but I didn't really figure he would be up in time to go. I was up pretty early, and went on over to White Horse by myself. Again, there wasn't anything there. I picked up some produce, including a sack of potatoes, since I was craving potato salad.

Russ called about the time I was eating breakfast, and said he and Billy were still in the bed, but would call me back when they decided what they wanted to do today. I took a nap, since they were as well, but when I woke up, I still hadn't heard from them. I went on to the store, and then started cooking.

I usually hate making potato salad, but I was in the mood to do it today. I played with some left over green beans from last night, trying once again to nail the recipe they use in the cafeteria at work (which is REALLY good), and got very close. I finally got a line on the secret ingredient from a friend that works there, and I will be able to do it now. I ended up making a huge batch of potato salad. I used to have to make at least 5 pounds of potatoes for Michael and I, or it just didn't last any time. It is way too much for me, so I took two pounds over to Russ when I went over there tonight.

Miss Kat called while I was in the final stages of cooking. She was doing the discussion group today, and was calling to see if I would be there. I had intended to go, but then forgot all about it because Russ and Billy had been talking about going to Georgia today. As it was, I was elbow deep in potato salad, the kitchen was a smoking ruin, and I had to shower and change before I could go anywhere. There was just no way.

After I did all that stuff, I headed over to Russ and Billy's. We hung out and talked for a while, then went over to this little Columbian place I had seen for dinner. Dinner was very good, and quite an adventure. I had a whole fried Tilapia with plantain patties, rice, and veggies. We also had sweet corn cakes with cheese for an appetizer. After that we went out for coffee. Russ is a devoted Starbucksaholic.

We went back to the house and watched The Golden Compass, which I hadn't seen on big screen. It was EXCELLENT! I thought the movie was beautifully cast and thoroughly enjoyed it. It is the only movie I have ever seen from a book that looked exactly as the book did in my mind while I was reading it. I really enjoyed it. I need to read the next one so I can go see the movie.

It was a lovely evening.

The pool party

Bill and Drew hosted the pool party for Memorial Day this year. As usual, it was a nice time.

I got up, had coffee on the front porch, and went to the flea market. There wasn't really much there, but I picked up a white bubble sugar bowl for Russ for $1. One of the inside people was closing her booth. She's been selling for 14 years. Too bad she didn't have anything I wanted.

I got over to Russ and Billy's about 1:00, and hung out with Billy for a while before Russ got home. Ben showed up to ride with us. We rounded everything up and got on the road about 2, then stopped for lunch at the Chinese Buffet on the way up, since none of us had eaten lunch, and we didn't know if they would have nibbles out at the party or not before dinner.

We met Justin in Inman and did a Wal-Mart run for beer and stuff before heading over to the party. This year's party was a Sordid Lives theme, so we had tuna casserole and other food mentioned in the movie tucked in amongst the other cookout fare, and they had a funeral flower arrangement on the gate to the pool area. Billy picked up some pool squirt toys that were later used for giving people shots! The water was pretty cold though, so most people didn't get in.

After dark, and a mercifully short bout of karaoke while they set the sound system up, we watched the movie. I was surprised so many people there hadn't seen it already! It was a fun party.

Date with Dario*

I went to see Dario tonight. He is house-sitting for some friends. We went out for Mexican food, where I finally got to use my favorite Spanish word in context. There was this guy at the restaurant in flashy boots, belt, and a big cowboy hat, with this plain little half pint of a woman. I remarked to Dario that he looked like a pimp, to which Dario non-chalantly replied that he was! So I was like, "Is that woman with him a puta?", and he said she more than likely was. Intersting.

After dinner we went by Blockbuster and rented a Wanda Sykes DVD. We went back to the house and watched it, and had some sweet empanadas, stuffed with cream cheese and guava, he had made for a pool party he was having the next day for his family.

After that, we got in the hot tub for a bit before I went home. I was SO sleepy I was falling over. It was a nice evening.

The bear dinner for May

Was tonight. I was the host this month, and since we had such a nice time at El Matador last month, I just decided we would go back this month.

After work, I had an appt with Russ to get my hair cut. He cut it off short. I wanted it cut the way Michah's hair was, but he wouldn't do that because Michah had a weight line in a modified high and tight. For some reason it is against the religion for anyone who cuts my hair to ever put a weight line in it. At least it's short. I have been telling him to buzz me for a while, but he was trying to do this "GQ" thing (he said) that just looked weird (it probably would have looked fine, but I don't have the patience to put 5 pounds of product in my hair every day, and I hate the way wax and pomade feel - ick). The real problem is I'm too fat for a buzz now, but he didn't tell me that. I just want it out of my way for summer. I'm going camping next weekend and don't want to fool with it. If I have a fat roll on the back of my head, I guess it'll just match the other ones I have elsewhere.

We went back to his house to pick up Billy afterwards, and Ben and Justin were there. That was a pleasant surprise. We all rode over together to the dinner.

As usual, the staff was super nice, the food was great, and we had a really good time. Everyone was talking about their plans for this weekend. Apparently a bunch of people are going to be down at River's Edge, but I have always resisted going on those busy holiday weekends. They are so crowded that you can't get a place by or in the pool, and I just generally hate crowds anyway. I just think it would be too much for me - I've heard stories. Plus, I'm going to be down there next weekend anyway. But I guess if Russ and Billy drive down for the day on Sunday, I'll go with them. I might be able to play volleyball, if I can get in the pool. Meh. If I don't do that I'll have to stay home and do housework.

I have to start cleaning house next week since Mom will be here the week after for the surgery. I'm getting a bit nervous as it's getting closer. I know it's going to be painful, but I'm trying to focus on the fact that at least it will be OVER.

A bit of productivity

I did get a bit done tonight.

I called and confirmed the reservation and number of people for the bear dinner tomorrow night.

I sauteed a bunch of vegetables I had bought to do Italian with, but decided to use as sandwich filling instead.

I hauled off the recycling (HOORAY), but decided to leave the lawn until the weekend.

I talked to Dario and set up a date for Friday night. He's going to be house-sitting for some friends, and I'm going over there, which feels kind of deliciously naughty.

My TV signal came back today, so I did all of the above with Family Guy re-runs for company, which is cheerful to me.

I'm going to miss seeing trees

The new view from the windows, with the construction in progress.

We're adding on to our building at work. I know that is a good thing, and that the company is prosperous. In the old days though, in the midst of a really bad day, I could at least look out the window at the bank of trees and weeds outside, and remember there was an outside world. I work in a gray box all day. Now, when I look out the bank of windows, all I'll see is more gray walls.

Back to work

I got caught back up from being out, which was a good thing. Tomorrow is Wednesday, and I know I'll spend the day doing the reports. There won't be time to catch up anything tomorrow.

I had an appointment with the attorney today to have my will re-drawn (because I'm single now, and because of the pending surgery), so I called Michael and my mother to ask about stuff they wanted out of the house. Michael surprised my by saying he wanted the cats. I didn't realize how fond he was of Jinx. When I got to the attorney's office, though, he kept me waiting for a half hour. Since I was out yesterday, and my lunch hour was now used up, I left. They told me I could just email the details to have the will drawn, and I'm thinking "Why the hell didn't we do that before!?"

I just read tonight. I'm reading the last of the "Thursday Next" series by Jasper Fforde, called First Among Sequels. It was written later than the rest of the series, but it is just as excellent, although in this one, for some reason, Thursday and Landen are inexplicably poor. Still a ripping read though.

It stormed tonight. Tumultuously and gorgeously. I left the front door open to get all the lovely ozone-laden air into the house that I could, and to be able to watch and hear better. The porch keeps it from raining in unless things are really windy. It was great. I set the watering can out too, to catch some rain for the porch plants. It was as much an excuse to get out in it a bit and get damp with rain as anything. I love a good storm. Made me wish Dario had been around...

I'm runnning out of books again. I need to order some up from the library. I may start on Charlaine Harris's "Teagarden" series. I have finished the "Shakespeare" series, and can't continue in the "Sookie Stackhouse" series until the next book I'm waiting for becomes available.

A "Dom Drop" day

I woke up this morning feeling terrible. I don't know how much of it was allergies and how much of it was just camp out withdrawal, but I just felt like crap. Also, I was exhausted from sleeping so poorly for the last week. I usually schedule a day off after an event like that to give me some time to get things back in order and make the transition, but I have been saving all my vacation time lately for the surgery. Surgery or no, I didn't make it to work today.

I mostly slept, although I did get some laundry done, and finished putting away all the things I took for dessert service to the camp out. I also made some veggies that were left over into some soup to eat on. That was about all I could manage today.

There is an actual name for withdrawal from BDSM after an event - it's called "Dom drop" by the community. It's partly your body's withdrawal from the endorphins that BDSM stimulates (you have a lot of them, and kind of "fly" on them during an event, especially during a scene), and partly depression about having to go back to the "real" world. It used to be REALLY bad when I first got into the scene - it was like the aftermath of stuffing yourself on something really rich and overly sweet. That's the best way I can describe it. But it hasn't been that severe the last couple of things I've been to. Either that, I have planned better in the past. Either way it was a bad day today.

A most interesting evening*

I decided I needed to do some cleaning up, since I didn't do anything all week last week except cook desserts. I dropped a book by the library on the way home from the camp out, and had every intention of hauling off the tons of recycling choking my kitchen right now, but ended up not having the energy to do it. I also need to mow my grass, but that involves fixing the lawn mower and going to buy fresh gas, and suddenly it just seemed too involved. I did start on the mounds of laundry that need to be done, then ate something and took a nap.

When I woke up, I felt blowsy and worthless. I did a bit more wash, and washed and put away some of the Tupperware and dishes that I took for desserts this weekend. Then I cleaned up the kitchen some.

Russ had said he would call this evening if he felt like doing anything (he and Billy usually crash after the camp out), but I didn't hear from him. I drifted over to the computer, and started talking to this guy name Dario. Dario is really nice looking in his pics, be we had never met before. He is Hispanic (and I just love Hispanic men), plus he's local. We had tried to set up a meeting before, but it didn't work out. He was supposed to be doing this yard sale, and I was going to go by to see him, but I couldn't find it, and spent all this time on a wild goose chase, wondering in the back of my mind if he had really wanted to meet me at all.

It turns out he did want to meet me. He wound up coming over to hang out for a while. He is a very nice guy, and is just as good looking in person as he is in his pictures. He's also very modest about it, apparently not realizing how nice-looking he is. After we visited for a while, I suggested we go get some dinner, which we did. We had a good meal, and I enjoyed talking to him. He is from Colombia, and his whole family is here. He lived in LA for a while, but didn't like it. I hate LA, and since my sister Angela lives there, I was able to compare impressions with him. He was there for eight years though.

He got fed up with LA too, it just took him a bit longer, LOL. So now he's here, and seems to think I'm purty. And good for me! After dinner, he came back to the house for a while and we watched some of The Simpsons, which was on by that point. It was a really nice evening, and he is such a sweetheart. Russ called about dinner as Dario was leaving, but by that time it was after 8:30pm, and I was going to bed.

My parents are going to shit when they find out I'm seeing a Hispanic guy though. I'm going to wait a good bit to see where this goes before I say anything about it. For some reason, I just have this feeling we'll see each other again.

Sigh. It's all over.

I kind of delayed going to bed for a while last night, because I didn't want the weekend to end.

I woke up early again, but couldn't start packing up since Russ was still asleep, so I slipped off to the lodge. By the time I got over there, the dungeon was already torn down, and people were packing up to go. Breakfast was just muffins, so I got a coffee and headed out to the porch. There is usually a group hanging out there on Sunday morning, sorry to see the weekend over. Today was no exception, and we had a nice little joke session before going off in our separate directions.

I ran into Billy, and he said he had been in twice to wake Russ up. He gave me full permission to go in and start packing up - as loudly as I wanted. Steve told me he had already packed my stuff up too. When I went to collect my dishes, I found that every bite of the desserts I brought had been eaten. That is a first, and made me feel good, although I know of at least one couple who would be unhappy with that. Apparently they took home one of the left over pies from Fall camp out, and thoroughly enjoyed it.

When I got back to the cabin, I saw that Steve had neatly folded my blankets and piled most of my stuff in one area. I started putting the window shades up, and was re-rolling my sleeping bag (it's a bit weird) when Russ started moving. I couldn't get my car in to load up (since everyone else was doing the same thing) anyway, so we sat on the little porch of the cabin, smoking and talking with Joanne and the guys as we waited for things to clear out some. We really didn't want to go yet anyway. Joanne invited us all to Savannah. I hope we go. That would be fun. I'm going to make them a Welsh Rarebit for breakfast if we go down, I've decided.

Eventually, things started thinning out. Billy and I helped some folks clear out their cabin, and I was able to get in and load up. We had to be out by 11am. I left at 10:50. I headed home in the quiet, turning the weekend over in my mind, and fretting about pound cake and recipes to take to Savannah, and whether or not I should pack my waffle iron if we go.

More camp out happiness

Well the rest of the afternoon passed easily, as it always does when friends get together - laughing, talking, teasing, and just enjoying each other's company. Before I knew it, it was time to get ready for the banquet at 6:30.

Russ brought a camo kilt for me to try on. It was pretty cool, but a bit big on me. The best thing about it was the pockets. It's a utili-kilt so it's a bit more user-friendly than a regular kilt. I have a sport kilt that I love, but this one has belt loops and pockets. It was really nice to have some place to carry my smokes.

While the announcements were being done, I sneaked out to the screen porch and sliced the desserts so they would be ready to serve when we were through eating. My pound cake seemed to have a good crust, and the icing on the flourless chocoloate cake had softened up, thank goodness. By the time I got the chocolate sprinkles on it, and dusted it with sweetened cocoa, it looked pretty impressive, I have to say.

Dinner was good. Eric takes that on every time, and God bless him for doing it. It is a TON of work, and I personally love to cook, but I'd rather spend the time having fun than be in the kitchen all afternoon. Plus I don't cook meat, so they don't ask me to do the dinner part. I am really grateful for Eric.

After the dinner dishes were cleared, I put out the desserts. They went over very well. The flourless chocolate cake disappeared almost immediately (there were only 16 pieces of that, and it was my "feature" this time). I tasted the pound cake later, and I think it was one of the best I have ever made. The texture was perfect. I only got two negative comments. Russ said he thought the new recipe was too lemony, as did Lady Beth. Personally, I thought the flavor was wonderful. A lot of people don't realize that "plain" pound cake has lemon flavoring in it, but Lady Beth has asked me about it this afternoon. I don't "sneak" things in people's food, because I don't want them sneaking things in mine. This recipe does call for more lemon than my other recipe does, but it didn't taste strong to me. I did have a two different people tell me how wonderful it was too. So now I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I suspect that if they hadn't known that the lemon was in there, they wouldn't have made that complaint. Also, I don't believe in fiddling with the classics. When I do something unique, I play with it, but when you make a classic dessert, people want it to taste the way they remember it. I'm afraid the cake will taste "flat" if I take the lemon flavoring out. Not sure what I'll do about that. I did notice that every piece was eaten though.

The dungeon was really busy tonight. Seems like everyone wanted to play. Most of the time there were people waiting for a place, or watching other scenes. Russ did a really cool scene with our friends Miss Heather and miles. Miss Heather had been telling miles she was going to brand or mark him for years, and their 20th anniversary is coming up, so she told him tonight was the night. She had Russ get a brand all ready, shave him, etc, while miles was blindfolded in the sling. He had seen the branding iron Russ made, and saw it heating up when he came over to start the scene. But Miss Heather wasn't really going to brand him. Russ did the whole scene, then put the branding iron in ice before he touched it to miles. When he did it, we threw a handful of ice into a hot frying pan for sizzle and everyone screamed! It was SO funny, and miles was a really good sport about the whole thing. I think he was very relieved.

Russ also did fire play with a new guy who was there with his girlfriend. He is totally new to the life, and she was surprised he was open to doing as much play as they did this weekend. His name is dan. I don't remember hers. But they were really nice, and I hope they'll come back. Sadly, dan is suffering from Parkinson's Disease, which has apparently struck him very young. I'm glad he's still out doing new things and enjoying life.

Miss Kat came too (shooting sparks as she walked through the door), although sadly, dana didn't feel well. But she played with lori, and they had a really good time.

There were floggings, and needles, and all those delightful little evil things that make hearts pound. It was a great evening. I didn't get to play tonight, and I would have liked to, but Billy was all worn out by the time there was a place to do it. Plus he has done a lot of work putting this together, since he's on the board. Miss Kat was still too keyed up to play with me (I still kind of need training wheels), and my nipples were still too sore from last night to play with Mz Kytten again (her dance card was full anyway). Sometimes that's the way it goes. I still had a lovely time.

Lynnett's Ass

There is a beautiful, beautiful girl here named Lynnette. She is a tall, leggy, wasp-wasted yet busty light-skinned African-American girl. She's young, I'd say in her early 20's. Her skin is the color of fresh-baked bread. Brown sugar. Sunlight through maple syrup. She is an absolutely yummy color, and just looking at her makes me want to taste her. There are very few women that I notice in a physical way, but lordamercy.

She has been walking around today in this beautiful Asian-looking ivory colored silk jacket, covered in a riot of flowers in the glowing colors that you only get with silk. It looks like the top to a really nice pajama set. It's just long enough to crest the widest part of her hips, and is showing the bottom of her perfect, perfect ass. I don't know how the straight guys are handling it. I'm finding it distracting. They must be ready to howl like cartoon wolves.

She is one lovely girl.

Steve and I are both early risers, so we were up and went for breakfast before Russ had peeped out of the covers yet. Delicious french toast done in the oven, and great coffee. Coffee and cigarettes on the porch are one of my favorite things anyway, but when done with friends on the balcony of the lodge overlooking the pond on a gorgeous morning.. well there are just few things better.

The weather is perfect. Sunlight is just smiling down through the trees. There is enough of a breeze to keep most of the mosquitoes at bay, and it's supposed to be about 75 today. I took a walk around the pond after getting acquainted with the Mallard couple that lives there. The Yellow (or "Tulip") Poplars have just bloomed, and there is a carpet of green and orange flowers on the ground that blew off in Thurday night's storm.

After breakfast, I went back to try to take a nap, since I got to bed late last night, and haven't slept well this week. No dice. Partly because Steve had the same idea, partly because everyone was coming and going, and partly just because there is so much energy flying around that I can't ever sleep during the day at the camp out.

Russ had to run by their house, so he told me he would take me by to get the desserts. When I took my flourless chocolate cake out of the fridge, the lovely fluffy buttercream I made yesterday morning was hard as a brick. I can only hope it will soften up as the cake sits out today. And of course I am already worried the cake is burned on the edges. I put my lemonade cake and marshmallow cream trifle together, but it looks like SO much marshmallow stuff now. I am afraid it's going to be too sweet. And this pound cake is not the prettiest I have ever made either. The eclair pie turned out well, but a lot of people don't eat custard. And yes, I always get like this before I serve the desserts.

But we got it all back here in one piece, so I can relax until dinner now.

We got back to the camp ground just in time for the only demo today, one on "MacGyver" style fetish play. It was pretty informative for me...

The Camp Out!!*

I slept like crap last night. I can never sleep before the camp out. I was up early though, and so it was no problem to make the icing for the flourless cake. I just may fall asleep at work....

***

After work tonight, I ran home and threw things in the car, took a shower, and ran my cheese ball together, and downed a "5-hour Energy". Then I headed for the camp ground.

It is a beautiful drive up. The road twists and curves around the contours of the mountains, through a dense canopy of trees and Mountain Laurel. As you enter the mountains, the city noises drop away, and the quiet is just lovely. Of course, I had to put in a little inspriational music to get ramped up for tonight.

I put out my cheese ball on the snack table and started looking for Russ and Billy. As usual, I ran around too much after work without eating, and my blood sugar was dropping (I have reactive hypoglycemia). I wanted to find out where I was staying though, and unpack the car so I could go park and get out of the way before I ate.

After all that, I went in to eat, and found Kay checking people in at a table, so I sat down with her, ate a bit, and got checked in. I just love her. Sadly, we are less at this camp out than usual. Carmina and adder didn't come, nor did Sir Michael and wilenda. But Joanne is here with Rob and mikah (her boy). He is absolutely adorable, but unfortunately for me, totally straight. But they are really nice, and staying in the cabin with Russ, Billy, me, and our friend (other) Steve. Steve is from the bear group, and this is his first camp out.

After the eating and greeting, the dungeon was open for biz. It was a great night tonight. Everyone was in a good mood, and ready to play! Friday nights can be strange. Sometimes it takes a bit for people to transition from the real world. But not tonight. There was a really good energy tonight, and everyone was having a good time.

Russ was doing some fireplay with Steve, and that was really neat to watch.

I was just kind of hanging out, talking, smoking, catching up with people. When I went inside to watch some stuff, Mz Kytten asked me to play. Mz Kytten is gorgeous. She's been on a diet, and lost a lot of weight. She's too thin to be rubenesque now, but still a gorgeously curvy confection of a woman, with cascades of curly tawny hair and almond shaped green eyes that crackle with mirth, power, and mischief. When she turns that laser gaze on me, I seem to lose the power of coherent speech and start nervously giggling like an idiot for no good reason.

I stepped up to the St. Andrew's Cross and got ready. She cuffed me up and put me through my paces too. She was really careful about warming me up, since sometimes I will pass out during a scene, and I have almost done that to her before. When she did get going though, she gave me pretty much what I could handle. She loves nipple torture, which I hate. I knew I was in for it there, and I was right. OUCH! She also likes fingernails though, which I love, and she raked my back up pretty good. Sometimes I just need a whoopin, and she obliged. I was feeling GREAT when I stepped down. Yay!

Steve and I were sharing a bed. I crawled in bed, still a bit tingly, and very happy to be there. I love the campout.

Night #4 in the kitchen

Tonight it was flourless Kahlua chocolate cake with Kahlua chocolate icing, and the cheese ball for snack time tomorrow night.

The flourless chocolate cake went surprisingly well. I was a bit leery of this recipe because the last two times I made it, it failed to set up. It's basically a souffle` recipe, but this one is a bit odd, and you don't beat the egg whites separately. It does sink in some in the middle, but on the plus side, it has staying power a souffle` doesn't.

For the camp out, I have to have things that a) can be done all ahead of time; b) don't have to be served hot; and c) require no kitchen time for garnishing. Eric, who does the dinner, has to have the kitchen the whole day. It's a pretty tall order to do this and keep it creative. I don't want to fall back on doing the same things every time.

Anyway, so as relieved as I was that the cake set, I think I may have gotten it over-done now. I tasted a flake of it when I took the springform ring off, and it tasted a bit burnt. I hope it's OK. I don't have time for the cake to cool tonight, so I'll have to do the icing for it in the morning. Which means getting up early. Sigh. I already have a hard time sleeping before the camp out. And I never sleep well during. I'm going to be dead by the time this weekend is over. But it will be a lot of fun. It always is.

I started working on the cheese ball, but had to leave off because I ran out of shredded cheese to coat the outside with. I just put the filling to the side to "ball it up" later. When I got back from the store about 10:30, I was so tired, I forgot that you have to let the filling chill overnight before you roll and coat it. I turned out this mass of sticky cheese on the counter to roll it up, and my hands just sunk into it. I was wearing cheese gloves before I figured out what was wrong. I just stuck it all into a container shoved it in the fridge, and decided I could deal with it tomorrow.

Night #3 in the kitchen

The food day at work went well. As I suspected, the fact that my crust was broken on the cake I brought in didn't seem to be an issue. They brought me back my cleaned cake carrier at about 5pm today. Not a crumb left. And a good thing too. I need it to put my latest pound cake in for the camp out.

Kathy gave me the leftover baked ziti she makes, which is good. That takes care of lunch next week. I'll just sautee some veggies to throw in and it will be great. I love her baked ziti, I can't get mine to turn out like hers, and she doen't put meat in it - bonus!

After work, it was off to the store for yet more butter and eggs, and some sugar.

I have to say, when I headed to the kitchen tonight to bake pound cake #3, my first thought was "I am tired of baking pound cakes". That is not a good thing. Making a pound cake is kind of a zen thing, and if you're not in the zone, they generally don't turn out well. At least that's the way it is for me. But I soldiered on. I did use the new recipe, and I didn't scorch the bottom, but it stuck a bit, and had these weird crusty "overhangs" where the cake had risen above the pan, and then sunk back below the rim. When I first pulled it out of the oven, I was afraid it had fallen, but I don't think it did. Fallen cakes really do "collapse" when you take them out of the oven, and this one didn't. If I'm lucky, it just has a "sad streak" in it that isn't quite done, which personally I think makes them better. You can't really tell about a pound cake until you cut it. I used heavy cream in this one instead of plain whipping cream, as I did on Monday. I won't do that again. Unless the cake turns out really good. It isn't a pretty one, I can tell you that.

As I was trying to get the cake in the oven, the phone rang. It was Miss Kat. So after I got the cake in, I called her back and talked to her for a while. I really wish she and dana were coming this weekend. Of course, all I really had to talk about this week was baking, which is of limited interest to others, even if they cook.

After scarfing down a couple of pieces of pizza, it was back to the kitchen. I did the pastry cream while the pound cake finished baking. It turned out lovely, just as the last time I made it, despite me breaking half of the egg yolks while separating the eggs. That is a lovely recipe, and I am so glad I found it. It sets beautifully, without lumps, although I usually cook it a bit too long. I'll have to take it off the heat earlier next time, so that when I spread it it will go smooth. But it will taste fine. Then I made a double batch of mother's fudge butter cream icing to go over the top of the second layer of graham crackers, to complete the chocolate eclair pie. I made a huge mess. I was tired, and there were a lot of dry ingredients to fly everywhere. I used dark cocoa instead of regular, and my icing went totally black! I first thought I had read the recipe wrong, but I didn't. It's just that cocoa is really dark! I added a bit more milk to try to bring it up some, but it tastes fine.

By the time I cleaned up all the cocoa that flew everywhere and finished the dishes, it was 10:30. Whew!

Tomorrow I thought would be the easy night, but I had forgotten I have to bring a snack for the Friday night finger food as well. So while the flourless chocolate cake is in the oven, I'll be putting together a homemade cheese ball. Fortunately I have a great recipe for that that goes together very easily and tastes great. Cleanup is a bitch (I'll have to wash the food processor), but what are ya gonna do?

Night #2 in the kitchen

Tonight I baked one of Aunt Ruby's pound cakes. That is the one I usually make, but I had been looking for a recipe that doesn't have shortening in it. Once I got the hang of this one, it is pretty reliable, and it is a delicious pound cake. I will commit family blasphemy though, and say that I think the recipe for the one I made Monday night makes a better cake overall. Aunt Ruby's is the one I have always taken to work though, and the girls just love it. Since many of them apparently don't cook, this is one of the few scratch cakes they get. Also, since I didn't make a cake the last food day we had (I just took doughnuts) there could well have been a riot if I hadn't brought a cake today. But it was yet another cake to add to the agenda this week. This food day couldn't really have been planned at a more inconvenient time. I just hate to disappoint though. When I pulled this one out of the oven, it was a bit fragile. I should have left it in longer. I broke the crust on it when I turned it out, which pissed me off. So it isn't as pretty as usual, but I'm sure it will taste fine. And since it usually lasts about 2 hours anyway, it doesn't really matter. I'll be baking pound cake number three tomorrow night. That will be the official one to take to the camp out, so that's the one I want to turn out the best. I'll be using the new recipe again, and altering the cooking time and temp, since everything else seemed fine.

I decided I couldn't use the scorched pound cake for the trifle. I always try to do my very best cooking for LOCK. So I baked the lemonade cake tonight for the trifle. It has been a while since I made that cake, and I kind of remembered I had a sticking problem with it, so I lined my pans with wax paper. I'm so glad I did!! Since it has more sugar in the batter from the lemonade, it is a really sticky cake. Even buttering the pans heavily didn't make it come out smoothly. But it's mostly OK, and since it's going in trifle anyway, it's not like it has to be a beautiful cake. I also made another batch of marshmallow cream topping for the trifle. I have one in the fridge, but didn't think one batch would be enough. This should turn out well. The cake is lemony and quite tart, and the topping is very sweet, so it should be a good balance. Also, I decided to do a layer of lemon curd within the cake, since I'm not putting any fruit in this. So it will just be trifle-esque. It also won't have any alchohol in it.

After all that, and cleaning up the kitchen, I was pretty whooped. But I finished up by about 9:30.

Tomorow night it's another pound cake, and the chocolate eclair pie. I decided I can't do Jell-O pudding, so I'll be making pastry cream and Mom's chocolate buttercream icing for that. I'm using packaged graham cracker crumbs though. I figured that would be OK.

So back to the store tomorrow. I'm going to end up using almost four pounds of butter this week, but 3/4 of a pound went into the scorched pound cake, so I guess that doesn't count.

I also couldn't find my #$^%#!! lemon flavoring that I know I bought. I'm out of my old flavoring, and know I bought another bottle, but can't find it. That is so aggravating! I even took all my spices out, cleaned my spice rack, and put them all back. No dice. Dammit.

A visit from Justin

Windsor "Diamond" pitcher in Pink, circa 1936-1946

Windsor "Diamond" cream and sugar in pink

Windsor "Diamond" butter dish in pink

Well Justin decided to come tonight instead of Tuesday. It kind of threw my preliminary schedule for the week off, but unbeknownst to me, it was going to be blown all to hell anyway.

I had planned tomorrow night as my "easy" night (in which I was going to prepare only one dessert), but then realized I have a food day at work on Wednesday. Since I just brought doughnuts the last time we had one, if I don't bake a pound cake this time, there could well be a riot.

I baked the pound cake for the camp out tonight. I figured I could make that first, since it is no problem to freeze them (Mom even says she thinks they are better after they are frozen), but for some reason, I decided to vet a new recipe. Apparently I have lost my freakin mind or something. The cake turned out great, but the cook time was wrong for my oven, and I scorched the top, which is of course the best part. I can cut off the scorched part and use it for the trifle, but I really wanted to do a lemonade cake to use as the base for the trifle. Sigh. If I do the pound cake for work tomorrow, and then bake the lemonade cake, then do two desserts Wednesday night (an un-scorched pound cake and the eclair pie), then I can concentrate on the flourless chocolate cake Thursday night. That's going to be the most work, since I'm making ganache for it as well. That's a pretty ambitious schedule though, and I can't afford any more mistakes.

I had to make lunches for this week, so I made Succotash, which Justin seemed to find endlessly fascinating. Sadly, I was not up on the frequency with which it is served, or the amounts that are eaten yearly in the US. That turned out fine. I packed him up some to take home.

We did get some time to visit and talk, which was good. I also got to buy him dinner for his birthday, although since I was tied to the stove I ended up ordering pizza. But it was good to spend some time with him, and talk about what is going on with him. I miss that little shit now that I don't see as much of him.

We also opened the glass that Terry E sent. It was really NICE! He sent me a sugar bowl with cover, a creamer, a butter dish and cover, and TWO of the pitchers I wanted in pink Windsor. He also sent me two little pink footed Fostoria Americana bowls. I was really tickled, and of course having Justin there to open the stuff with me and exclaim over it just made it like Christmas. I already sent Terry a thank you email, but haven't had a response. I will have to find a better way of expressing my gratitude. He is such a sweet man.

I am reproached

I want to set the record straight. Justin hasn't been ducking me about issues. He just didn't have time to go into something with me the other day.

Sorry Justin.

Happy Mother's Day

It rained this morning, so Russ and I didn't go to Anderson. I really wanted to. But I really didn't need to spend any more money after last night anyway.

I didn't talk to Mother today, as she is headed for the Bahamas on a cruise at the moment, and good for her. I did send her a card, but she'll get it when she gets back.

I did go to see BB at the nursing home, and I guess she is in as good a spirits as can be expected. I was able to find some white tulips, her favorite flower, and took them over to her with a card. BB is all upset about the latest family drama that has been going on. I'm surprised that Eve told her about it, but then I guess she doesn't have that many other people to talk to. BB, of course, has little else to do but stew and worry about the situation. I meant to call Eve (my step-mother), but didn't end up doing it. I don't guess she heard from Cindy. Still I did send a card, and I had just seen her on her birthday. She and Dad leave tomorrow for a NRA convention in Kentucky. It is so weird that my dad is such a rabid gun nut, and I am such a pacifist. Anyway, they should have a good time. She loves to get dressed up and stuff, and has all kinds of tours and things planned for while they're gone.

After I left the rest home, I just did the shopping and came home. I did get the house picked up a bit, and removed the top layer of cat hair from the furniture. I got a bit of laundry done. I didn't get much done today, but I have a very busy week next week. I'll be baking every night, I have to make lunches for the week tomorrow night, and Justin is coming over Tuesday night. I had put him off until next week, because I have so much to do, but I knew he would want to see the glass, and I need to talk to him anyway. He's been kind of ducking me on some stuff lately. So I am going to have to hit the ground running, and I'll go all week next week, straight through to Sunday.

A night out, and a very strange play (for Greenville)

I had coffee on the porch this morning, and went on to the flea market, but it was nothing but junk. I did get some cheap jeans to make cut-offs out of after going through my shorts, but one pair was too small, and the other pair looked pretty good, so I decided just to wear them as jeans. I don't really have a "regular" pair of jeans that look good on me right now. The ones I have been wearing are baggy painter jeans, and you just can't wear those everywere. But I still don't have any cut-offs. At $6 a pair though, I'll just get some more cheap jeans the next time I'm over there.

Just as well I didn't buy any glass today. I got TWO CASES of it today in the mail from Terry E, my friend in Kentucky. I've been talking to him after meeting him online. He emailed me last week, and told me he was sending two boxes. Did he ever! One of them is huge. I still feel kind of like I'm taking advantage of him, but I haven't mentioned them to him since he said he was sending them. I called Justin, he's going to come over Tuesday night to open the boxes with me. He'll enjoy seeing what's in them as much as I do, so it will just be twice as fun.

I was worthless again today, and just read. I finished The Reunion, thank goodness. Maybe I'll get something done around here now.

***

I was running around the house tonight getting ready to go to dinner with Russ and Billy before the play, and locked myself out of the house again. I had no time to wait for a locksmith, and no phone to call one anyway, so I just kicked the door in and finished getting ready. Fortunately, I can still lock the house with the deadbolt until I can get someone over here to fix the sill. I am an idiot for not hiding a key outside after the last time this happened. Sigh. But I had to get going, so I made a decision. I did feel pretty butch. It worked just like it does in the movies too.

Dinner was delicious, if expensive. We went to a place downtown called Takosushi, an odd little Mexican/Japanese fusion restaurant. The food was very good, but very expensive. I had an entree, two cocktails, and an appetizer, and my check was $45 before tip. Not too bad for downtown, I guess, but not something I could do on a regular basis. And I can get excellent chiles rellenos for less than $17 a plate. Still, as I say, it was very good, at least. It really pisses me off to pay big bucks for a mediocre meal.

The play was called Cloud 9, and was a mimimalistic play about jingoism and the fall of the Victorian ideal of the British family. The first act was set in colonial Africa, shortly before the British troops were beaten and ousted in the Zulu Wars. The ultimate failure of the British colonial system was a parallel for the fall of the unrealistic ideals and stereotypical roles of Victorian social mores. A recurring theme was the use of social stereotypes of the time to hide homosexual tendencies. Additionally, many of the roles in the play were acted by people of the opposite gender of the role, and during intermission, the actors changed roles to play each other's characters during a later era. It was a very interesting concept, if a bit outre' for Greenville, I felt. But most of the audience stayed for the second act, surprisingly, after several male-on-male kisses in the first act, which a couple of people obviously felt were quite shocking.

It was interesting to me that members of the audience found two male characters kissing much more shocking than the husband and wife characters kissing, even though the wife (Betty) was played by a man in both acts. Proof of the the fact that the actors who played Betty in both acts did an excellent job of inhabiting the character fully enough to be accepted in the role, even though the actor in the first act had a beard. Additionally, the actor who played the quintessential Britich patriarch in the first act played a young girl in the second act, and was absolutely invested in the character, while playing on the innate comedy of this large man playing a little girl. It was a very unusual entertainment.

Afterwards, we went to Coffee Underground for coffee, and walked around downtown. By the time we got home, it was 12:30, and I went on home for bed. Russ and I are going to the Jockey Lot in the morning, and we both have Mother's Day duties to attend to as well.

Cougar comes over

He got that lawn mower that Mom gave me ages ago. It has never really been used since she had it. Mom got it and then bought a riding mower. She gave it to Michael because he didn't want a self-propelled mower, and then he broke the starter-cord on it. I fixed the starter-cord after he left, and then my friend Jaime gave me the Briggs and Stratton when she moved to Nevada. So I only used it once. Anyway, of course it wouldn't start, but I gave him some tips, and I think he'll be able to get it going again. He didn't take me out, though, he had other plans. He's supposed to take me out week after next (next week I'll be baking all week for the camp out next weekend).

So I made a sandwich and read. That's really all I've felt like doing for the last couple of weeks. I'm on The Reunion now, which is the last of the Marketplace books. I've been wanting to read them all again before the camp out next weekend. I'll probably be out late tomorrow night anyway, so just as well I'm going on to bed tonight. I haven't been sleeping well this week, and I'm not going to force myself to stay up. I'm tired.

Dinner out

I had a business dinner out tonight with one of the agencies I deal with. It was pretty nice. We went to Larkins on the River, a pretty nice place in downtown Greenville, right on the Reedy River. After dinner, we walked down to the footbridge that runs over Reedy River Falls. It was a nice evening.

One really funny thing did happen. We were talking about plastic surgery, celebrities, etc, and Kirstie Alley's name came up, which led to Valerie Bertinelli. I made the comment that I knew how she got big. She may look like America's Sweetheart, but she's a wild child, and had been married to some rocker dude. I couldn't remember who though. We were all trying to remember, when one of the guys came out with "Isn't it Little Richard?" I thought I was going to die! I found that endlessly hilarious.

When I got home, I called Cougar back. He confirmed that he has a van, and that he's coming tomorrow to get the mower tomorrow night.

Between that, and my evening out planned with Russ and Billy for dinner and the play on Saturday, it should be a pretty nice weekend.

I got confirmation from the doctor's office today that the surgery has been approved for June 11, so I emailed everyone to let them know what's going on. Mom is coming to stay with me, thank goodness, so I can be at home. Actually, several people have said they wouldn't mind taking care of me, since I won't be able to talk LOL.

Mother's Day is coming

I went and got all my Mother's Day cards tonight. I send a good many of them. Both sisters, all three grandmothers, two mothers, and one aunt. So it's a passel o' cards. It was especially important that I send them this year, since I didn't send Christmas Cards last year.

I ended up buying one Godmother card instead of a Grandmother card, but that's easily remedied. I'm probably going to take BB's card to her at the nursing home on Sunday, so I'll have time to replace it. The rest of them have to go in the mail tomorow.

Cougar called tonight and apologized for standing me up on Saturday. I told him it wasn't a big deal, since I was going to be home anyway (it really wasn't a big deal). I do wonder what happened to him though. He didn't volunteer, and it felt nosy to ask. He's supposed to come Friday night to pick up the lawn mower now. Maybe he'll buy me dinner.

Lining up things to look forward to

Man, I am going to be BUSY this month. Lots o stuff coming up.

Saturday, I'm going to a play with Russ, Billy, and a bunch of friends.

Next week, I'm cooking and packing all week for the Spring Camp Out. This year, I'm doing a chocolate eclair pie (with homemade stuff, no Jell-O for me thank you), a pound cake, a flourless Kahlua chocolate cake with ganache and sprinkles, and a lemon cake and marshmallow trifle.

The weekend of the 16th will be the Camp Out.

On the 31st, I have a spa day planned. I got it for cheap through a charity thing. I'll have a manicure, pedicure, etc.

The 6th and 7th will be my River's Edge trip to see Al, Mike, Brian & the gang.

Then the 11th I am supposed to have surgery if the insurance company approves it. I haven't heard back from the doc yet. Mom will be coming that weekend, so the first week of June I'll have to clean house.

I'm thinking with all this going on, I'll be wishing I had a quiet weekend. I'm goint to try to leave he weekend of the 24th and 25th open just to do stuff around the house.

Feeling a bit better

Well hopefully things are looking up.

I made my reservations for my camping trip to the River's Edge today. It will be good to see Al and Mike and Brian again. Brian is supposed to be bringing his new husband this year. This started years ago. I met them down there, and pretty much spent the weekend with them. We liked each other so much I've been meeting them down there every summer since. It did me good just to talk to the reservations guy today. When I started giving him my card number to hold my cabin, I realized that it expired this month. He said "No problem Steve, we know who you are. It's not like you're not going to show up or something." A small thing, but it made me feel good.

Sometimes it does me good just to know that the Edge is out there, even if I can't be there. Who would have thought that a swampy little patch of mud and pines in nowhere Georgia could inspire so much happiness? Makes me feel good just thinking about getting down there again: seeing the regulars, playing some volleyball, having dinner at the Berryman House, and best of all - knowing when I drive through those gates, I can leave the world outside. Whenever I'm out partying on the campground, I make sure to walk back to my cabin by the poolhouse. The road goes over a hilltop, the trees are cleared out, and with the lights off, you just never knew there were so many stars. They go all the way down until they get caught in the tops of yellow pines that look like a fringe of black lace in the darkness. The singing of the crickets and the frogs makes the quiet sound louder.

I like walking around and looking at the mobile mansions the queens have set up down there. You can rent a space year round, and some of the guys bring in beautiful RV's, parking them under custom made shelters, with front porches, lavish elephant ears, comfortable outdoor furniture, fountains, follys, bawdy lawn ornaments, and frequently, perfect little postage-stamp lawns of bright green grass, all lit up with strings of fairy lights. Late at night when the parties are over, it just seems enchanted; so welcoming and delightful that it can't possibly be real. And of course it isn't. You have to go back to the real world at some point. But it sure is nice to pretend you don't have to for a while.

A quiet night

My brother-in-law called me back yesterday to tell me he was filing for a restraining order against my dad. That should make dad 5 times as furious as he already is. Paul said his attorney may want to talk to me. I told him I wasn't getting involved in this unless it was at the end of a subpoena, but thanked him for the warning.

By the time I got off work, I wanted a sympathetic ear, and maybe a drink. But Russ and Billy had plans, and Russ was going to work in the yard tonight. Billy has his own family problems to deal with too.

So I went on out to dinner for Cinco De Mayo (Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone) at my little local quiet Mexican place with a book. I'm on the last Marketplace book now, and frankly, the way things have been going lately, I have just been all about escapism. So I had some chiles poblanos and some iced tea, and then went home and read until bedtime.

Family Drama continues

I got a call from Paul today. Dad wants to call and yell at him some more, but Paul doesn't want to hear it. Dad called his boss at work this morning, leaving a message with his boss to try to intimidate him. Paul called me and told me he now is going to have charges filed if Dad keeps it up. Not wanting to call my dad and listen to another tirade, I called Mom and told her about it. She is going to try and see if she can get Dad to back off. And I am once again squarely in the middle of all this shit. Sigh.

In all honesty, Dad does have a reason to be upset. He was wronged. But he has had his say. Several times. I think the time has come to let this drop. But that is not his way. This is not the first time we have had this problem with him. He just can't seem to let anything go. I am worried that I will be like that. I do find myself remembering old slights sometimes, and still getting upset about them. But I don't actually call the people involved.

Another Sunday

I have really grown to dread Sundays. That's the time of the week when everyone is at home with their significant other/family/etc. My solution has been to leave housework and stuff to do that evening so I'm distracted. I certainly left a lot to be done yesterday.

I had coffee on the porch, and went to the flea market, where I didn't find any glass. When I got home, I had coffee on the porch, since I woke up late today. My neighbors, Christa and Ryan were moving this weekend. I really hate to see them go. They are so nice, and he is so adorable. At least he was moving stuff with his shirt off, so I got to see him shirtless one more time.

After that, I had to mow. The lawnmower won't run. Despite running fine the first time I used it, it now won't run for more than 30 seconds at a time. I went and got a new air filter for it, but that didn't help. I'm afraid there is stuff in the fuel line, and I can't fix that. Ryan loaned me their mower so I could finish mowing at least, but for some reason, needing to fix the mower too just seems like more than I can bear. I am really depressed.

I was sad anyway because they are leaving, plus I spent all day yesterday by myself. I haven't been feeling good this week, and that it still the case. I am worried there is something wrong. My abdomen is tender where the gall bladder surgery was done, and I'm having stomach pain. My stomach was really torn up today. If it doesn't get better, I'm going to have to go to the doctor.

I did manage to mow the grass, at least. But I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I'm in another bad patch. Dammit.

I talked to Russ and Billy about going over there tonight, but they were in Spartanburg for a funeral for someone in Billy's family. I just got cleaned up, did the shopping, did some cooking for next week, and washed some clothes. I'm maintaining. I just don't feel like doing it. Right now, I'm just kind of putting one foot in front of the other again. Sigh.

Lazy, worthless me

I didn't feel like doing much of anything today, so I didn't. I have been feeling crappy all week, and all I really felt like doing was laying around reading, so that's what I did today.

Cougar was supposed to come over and get a spare lawnmower I have, but never showed up. He was supposed to come this morning, then we were going to the flea market and out to lunch. I never heard from him, so who knows what happened. I didn't even go to the flea market. I did have coffee on the porch though, which was nice. I did straighten up the house a bit this morning, since he was supposed to come over, but didn't do too much. I pretty much finished The Academy today.

Russ and Billy were going to the Red Party downtown tonight, which is the party for all the Dining With Friends people. After last week's debacle at the DWF thing though, I really didn't feel like going. I guess I could have scared something up to do, but I get tired of calling people and asking if I can come over. I know my friends like me, but sometimes I feel like I'm just kind of in because of sympathy. So much of my social life was so couples-oriented when Michael and I were together that I really feel like odd man out now a lot of the time.

So I just stayed home and read.

Justin's birthday is coming

On Sunday. But he went out to dinner with Russ and Billy tonight. I missed that, because I went to dinner with Mom and Dad for her birthday, which was today.

We went to Mimi's Cafe. I hadn't eaten there before, but they apparently eat there frequently. The prices aren't as high as I had been led to believe, but the food is pretty fattening. Most of the entrees hover around a thousand calories, although there were a few lighter options. After looking on line, I was glad I had. The crabcakes meal has 1,900 calories! Which is outrageous, but apparently the trend in restaurants now. I know the menu at Romano's Macaroni Grill has only two entrees with less than a thousand calories. They even have a child's dish with over 2,000 calories in it. I know that when you go out to eat, it's supposed to be a treat, and you might not watch as closely as you ordinarily do, but many people are eating out frequently now (since most people don't cook anymore), and it's just crazy to me how fattening the food is. Anyway, I'll get down off that now. I've been feeling really fat lately.

The food was good, and they seemed to be in pretty good spirits. I was a bit worried, because this would be the first year that Mom would have a birthday where she probably wouldn't hear from Cindy after the big falling-out they had this year. Cindy has always been her favorite, and that's why I decided to make a bit of a fuss this year. Since her birthday is so close to Mother's Day, I usually just do it all at once then. I took flowers and a card, and would have baked a cake last night if she hadn't had oral surgery yesterday. I was studiously avoiding the subject of Cindy at all, and then Dad brought it up. Most of the actual fighting has apparently taken place between Dad and Paul, my brother-in-law, and he wanted me to read some insulting email he has written intending to send it to Paul. I just told him I didn't want to be in the middle of it, and that he shouldn't send it. I just don't think it is a good idea to extend the fight and cause yet more ill will. Of course Dad won't listen to me, but it's kind of become a tradition for me to advocate for less hostility before another episode of family drama. Kind of like singing the national anthem before a demolition derby. I could tell Mom was pleased that I gave a little extra attention this year though, and that was a good thing.

After that, I went on to Russ and Billy's to hang out with them. I gave Justin his birthday card, since his birthday is Sunday, and he is going home to Clinton York (sorry Justin) to see his family. It was a nice evening, but not a late one, since he and Russ have to work tomorrow. We played Spades for a while, which was great. I haven't played in a while, and I really miss it. That is one of the things I miss a lot about being in a relationship. I miss having a card partner. It's a lot harder to find someone to play cards with when you're single. You have to find a partner, or your hosts feel obligated to do so, and it's just awkward. But I really love to play.

A visit with Kat and dana

I haven't seen Kat and dana since the birthday party. Really. And that has been over a month ago. So I feel like a really bad friend. Plus, Miss Kat has been on my mind for the last week or so, since I'm reading the Marketplace Books again. She was really helping me work through a bunch of stuff when I read them the first time, plus she was really my mentor in the whole BDSM headspace. Anyway, I had been thinking I needed to call her, and when she called me last night, I told her I would come visit tonight.

I thought I was going to have to cancel, since tomorrow night is Eve's birthday (my stepmom), and I thought I was going to bake her cake tonight, but Dad told me she has had oral sugrery today, and so it would be better to wait on the cake until her mouth felt better. Which worked out, since I was able to go tonight.

Anyway, they seem very happy still, and it does my heart good to see them. We had a good visit with lots of converstation, iced tea, and cigarettes. Her dog, Chase, is blessedly still with us. He is pretty old, and not in the greatest shape, but they both adore him, and dana in particular has made it her goal that he spend his golden years absolutely spoiled rotten. She is succeeding.

I regaled them with stories of my disastrous love life, which they seemed to find endlessly amusing. Fortunately. It is always good to see them. I'm still feeling drug out from this allergy thing, but I wasn't about to miss this visit.

Being Bad

I just could NOT reist. This made me laugh out loud:

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=dairy-comfort-bra.jpg&category=Clothing&date=2008-04-17