A post in which I wish everyone a Happy New Year

Russ and Billy were hosting a small New Year's Eve get-together for some of the Kindred tonight. That kind of thing is just my speed. I usually go to Kimbley and Laura's house for NYE, but last year I didn't feel up to it, and then this year, I decided to go to Russ and Billy's. I'm actually kind of conflicted about it, because my life seems to have shrunk so much to just Kindred in the last year. If it wasn't for Russ, Billy, Miss Kat, and dana, I would be pretty alone in the world. But in the end, that's what I felt like doing, so that's what I did.

It wasn't an all-out kind of thing, which was fine with me. We're all getting too old for heavy partying anyway, apparently (with the exception of Russ, of course). Miss Kat, dana, and Lori were having a hard time making it to midnight! It was nice to spend some time around Lori and JP though. JP has always been nice to me, but he seemed exceptionally gracious tonight. They don't have a lot of private time because there are so many people at the house, but he invited me over anyway. I thought that was very nice of him.

We all made it until the ball dropped, had a toast of Asti Spumanti, and most of the people headed out shortly after. I stayed over because the cops were supposed to be so bad tonight, but by about 1am I was done in. I went on to bed, much to Russ's disappointment.

A post in which Justin and I go shopping

Justin showed up right on time this morning, and after delaying him for about a half hour I was ready to go.

We set off to Easley in high spirits. These spirits were buoyed by the fact that we scored on our very first stop. We found a Lincoln Inn cup in pink for $1.00! Although Justin made the discovery, he let me have it. I had just said that morning that I had never owned a piece of Lincoln Inn, and would like to have a piece. It was just a loose cup, but it is pretty.

Lincoln Inn cup in pink by Fenton Glass Company, circa late 1920's

We went on to the big fancy antique mall in downtown Easley. They had been hit by a tornado this year, I found to my horror, but they were open. We went in and felt greatly relieved after finding that a rare set up extra-bubble forest green plates made it through without being broken. They're out of our price range, but it was really good to see them. We walked around a little in downtown Easley.

Next we went around the corner to Uncle Sam's antique store, a favorite for both of us. I picked up a couple of small things and marked a couple more to think about. On the way out of town we stopped off at the Jesus Saves Thrift Store, only to find that it's former junky splendor had been replaced with a very spartan interior. They must have thrown out most of the inventory. To be fair, most of it was junk, but it was still quite a surprise.

We rode out to a place in Pickens that I like, but all I found today was a shot glass. We also went out to the thrift store that Justin had been so impressed with last year, but ended up not buying much today. We stopped for lunch at a great little Italian place called Mama Mia's. The food was really good.

On our way back to town, we stopped at a place I've only been once before. The people that run it are very nice, but it's a bit off the beaten path. It was worth the ride today though, I found a little piece for Amanda so that on the next occasion I won't be out desperately seeking egg cups.

After that we went back to Uncle Sam's. I bought two pieces I really wanted. One was an amber milk pitcher in a pattern called Madrid. I usually don't like that pattern or color, but it fed in to my obsessive (of late) desire for milk pitchers. It's a really nice piece, and I got it for about half price. I also bought a Depression Green water glass that for some reason just called to me. I paid too much for it, but I just had to have it.

5 1/2" Madrid pitcher in amber by Federal Glass Company, circa 1932 - 1939

We thought about going over to do some of the 85 stores, but by that point we were both pretty beat, so we headed on back to my place.

Justin made his leave, and I got in touch with Russ and Billy. They were going out to supper tonight, and Russ invited me. It turned out that he had invited tow new guys to go with us, Josh and Alfredo. They were both nice, and I really liked them. We went to Lieu's for supper and I really enjoyed spending time with everyone, even if I did spend way too much. That's what vacation is for though, right?

After supper I went back to Russ and Billy's house to hang out for a bit. I helped Russ put move some things around in preparation for tomorrow. Part of what we tried to do was put together some lighted reindeer Joann had bought him for Christmas. Russ was trying to turn the motor over (it moved the head) since we'd gotten it in upside down. He unplugged the deer, and we both watched in horror as the head continued to bob up and down. In a few seconds we both figured out that there was a separate plug for the motor, but initially we were both quite shocked and horrified. It was really pretty funny. Later.

A post in which I go to the movies*

When I got up this morning I decided it was time for some companionship. I fell into the Manhunt vortex, and ended up going to see a guy that I went to see last year on New Year's Day. He's nice, and we had a really good time.

When I left though, I was ravenous. I had been over there without taking the time to eat this morning. After ruling out several possibilities I just went home, made a sandwich, and heated up a bowl of soup. Then I checked the internet and called Miss Kat. Neither Miss Kat nor I had seen the latest Harry Potter (the first part of Deadly Hallows). We had decided to go to a matinee, but hadn't made any concrete plans. Unfortunately the movie wasn't playing a matinee any longer, but we made plans to go to the show tonight.

They came over early and dana stayed at the house while Miss Kat and I went to the movie. Helen was apparently on the warpath today, and dana needed sanctuary. When they came in, Miss Kat wasn't feeling well. She had the sniffles and pretty bad congestion going on. Uh-oh. My immune system just doesn't need anything else to fight off. But since I'd spent so much time with them lately, if I was going to get someone I already had it.

I tried to be all ready and make sure I had a lighter and all since I was going out with Miss Kat. Despite my best efforts I dropped a cigarette on the way and thought it went down in the car. Miss Kat had to pull over so we could look for it, but I never found it. Embarrassing.

When we got to the theater, we decided to get a 'popcorn and two drinks' deal. When we got them, they were enormous! Miss Kat took her drink and walked off. She's gotten used to that kind of thing taking care of itself, which of course it did. I brought the popcorn in, and later teased her a bit about being able to tell that dana had been taking really good care of her. It was funny and sweet at the same time. We both enjoyed the movie, although it was much more grim than the former ones. Since they are setting up the final confrontation, though, I suppose this is appropriate.

We headed home after the movie, and it was so nice to come home to find the house lit up and dana there. It's so nice to come home to someone that you love. dana had been studying and spoiling the cats, and of course they were thrilled. We visited and watched a little telly before they went home. It was a really nice day.

A post in which I see Justin

I finished the laundry today. And thank goodness for that. I also made a pot of sweet potato soup which turned out surprisingly good. I may make that again. Sweet potatoes and curry really stain though.

I was just thinking about taking a nap when Justin called. He said he could come over and do the glass cabinets today, and that was great. They needed to be done, and I have the time. I had been kind of watching a Hoarders marathon with one eye, and when Justin came in he was immediately fascinated. He is more into it even than I am.

After watching a couple of episodes we debated going shopping vs. re-arranging what I already had, but by that time it was about 4pm, and too late to do anything. We got out the glass and started re-arranging. We were done pretty early, and I asked him about tagging along with him to supper, but he and Chad had planned couple time tonight. I also asked him to go to the Pickens flea market with me tomorrow, but it was Chad's day off and they were going to Georgia. We made plans to shop the 95 corridor on Thursday though. We always have a great time when we do that. He called me shortly after he left, to ask me to lunch on Friday with him and Chad.

I called Russ and Billy, and we ended up going to supper at Pho Noodleville. We caught up on Christmas (this was Billy's first Christmas with Russ's family) and then it was back to their house for a visit and to watch some telly. Lovely.

A post in which I get some stuff done

Today I pretty much just laid around the house. I had tons of laundry to do. I was so tired and caught up in Christmas stuff that I just kept thinking well, I'll catch up on vacation. I made some progress, but didn't get it all done, and that was fine. I have a bunch of stuff planned, but then I have open days too. I'm trying not to aggravate my Epstein-Barr. I can feel it rumbling around because I've been over-doing lately.

I napped and hung out, chatted online, and was generally worthless. And that was fine with me.

A post in which it is a lovely Boxing Day

It was nice to wake up with Terry in the house today. Unfortunately I was starving. The house is so small that it's really hard to move around without waking anyone up. I got bold and went into the kitchen to warm up some Hamburger Helper. Of course I woke Terry up.

We had a leisurely coffee and sat and watched TV, smoking and talking. We eventually decided to go out for lunch. We both got cleaned up and I took him to Saffron to eat. It was delicious, as always.

After lunch I dropped Terry at work, and called dana. She and Miss Kat said they would come over. I wanted them to see the tree, so I was happy about that, although I am happy for them to come over any time.

I set about straightening up a bit, and Dad called. He bought a new recliner today, and offered me his old one, a very nice Lay-Z-Boy that's only about 8 months old. Cool.

Miss Kat and dana came over and we spent the afternoon visiting. It was so nice to see and spend some time with them. Eventually, we all got hungry and visited the Red Lobster for supper. I ate like a pig-hog! I was so hungry, and I'm feeling all sassy 'cause I'm on vacation. After supper we came back to my house for more conversation. I put Ponyo in. dana was very patient, but that is just not her kind of thing. Eventually they went on home, and I toddled on to bed.

A post in which I wish everyone a Merry Christmas

I was up early, and mostly on time to Dad and Eve's. They wanted me there at 9am, but they weren't ready. I packed up the car while they finished, and drove down. We got to Lisa's around 11. Ava had already gotten up and opened everyone's gifts (and Lisa had re-wrapped them) by the time we got there. That was fine, because we had another huge load of gifts in the car.

We opened presents and visited. Lisa liked her shirts that I gave her, and Carl seemed to as well. There was a bit of a kerfuffle when Reagan, Carl's daughter called for him to come to get her. She's 18 and won't drive on the freeway. He was getting ill about going to get her, so Dad volunteered to go. He took Cole with him, in hopes of getting him to drive a bit (reportedly he's barely driven the car since Dad gave it to him), but he didn't. They ended up being gone for several hours.

In the meantime I played with Ava. Despite her receiving many expensive presents, we ended up playing with some little finger puppets that came out of her stocking. The other greatly favored gift was a $1 set of glittery colored lip gloss. There were seven colors. She spent about two hours painting her lips, and then mine, with great order and seriousness. She was happy and quiet and on my lap which was all I cared about.

Eventually Dad and Cole came back with Reagan in tow. We ate supper. I was really hungry. Lisa made ambrosia salad for dessert. I enjoy it, but not enough to make it. It's a pain in the tuckus to make. But before we ate dessert Dad was getting antsy to go. It was snowing in Greenville, amazingly - the first white Christmas here since the 60s. Although he let me drive down, he decided he needed to be behind the wheel on the way back since we were going into inclement weather. It rained most of the way back, but when we reached Fountain Inn we started to see snow. It wasn't freezing, and there was no build-up on the roads, but the rest of the trip back was very pretty. When we got back to their place Dad was ready for me to get home if I was going. There was about three inches of snow on my car that I had to clear.

On my way back through town my phone rang. It was Terry. Of course I told him he could come stay. I was really worn out after the long day, but I thought it would be good to see him. I straightened up the house a bit and put a pot of Hamburger Helper since there was almost nothing in the house to eat. He's usually hungry when he gets off work.

I headed out to pick him up after his shift (praying that the roads were still OK - had anything happened, I would never have heard the end of it from Dad), only to run into difficulty. Some people for the next shift hadn't shown up, and no one was willing to pick up an extra shift on Christmas day in the snow. By law though, no one was allowed to leave until they had enough people there to cover the shift. After waiting and debating for half hour, one of the missing showed up and we were allowed to go.

Terry and I had drinks, ate some Helper, and caught up on what was going on with each other. It was a very nice end to Christmas. I miss having someone to do for, and it was good to see Terry, and to go to sleep with someone I love in the house.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

A post in which I get a Christmas present*

Today was unexpected, and I'm going to brag just a bit. I had a guy get in contact today that I had slept with ten years ago. He was really cute, but unfortunately I didn't remember him. He ended up coming over, and we spent several most enjoyable hours together.

But I was running behind. There were a million things I needed to do today.

I spent an hour and a half wrapping presents. I LOVE to buy and give Christmas gifts, but I LOATHE to wrap them. I spent 20 minutes wrapping the one and only gift I will ever wrap in Mylar paper. It was some Michael had left here (I'm still using wrapping paper he left, four years ago). When I finished, I put the paper in the car to give away. It made an ugly present, but I had spent too much time working on it to change the paper.

The last gift I wrapped was the BIG (two half-pound cups) Reese's Cups for Miss Kat and dana. I also got their gift ordered.

I was feeling pretty hectic and not very Christmas-y from rushing. I really wanted to be at their place this afternoon, but I had to get the gifts wrapped for in the morning. In the car on the way over I was trying to relax. I looked over at a stoplight, only to see a little ole redneck woman sporting a Santa hat. It did my heart good to see her. She noticed me looking at her, and I could tell it made her uncomfortable. I gave her a big smile and pointed to my head, at which point she gave me a radiant smile and lifted up the tip of the hat. Her little ball on the tip was lit up. I was instantly full of holiday cheer. It was the precious-est thing.

I finally made it to Miss Kat and dana's house, and I was SO glad to be there. We did presents. They gave me a gift card to World Market, and a big ole candy bar.

I hadn't watched Muppet Christmas Carol yet this year, and had brought it with me in case they were interested. It's my favorite Christmas movie. To my surprise, dana said she was interested in watching, but there were DVD player problems. Miss Kat ended up bringing in a player from the bedroom and going to quite a bit of trouble to get it to play, but in the end, she did it. Watching it with them was perfect. What a great evening, and a great Christmas with them!

Charlie came by to bring over a tres leches cake. It was gorgeously delicious.

A post in which it is the last day before vacation

Apparently I was a bit of an optimist about Alan being out of work. He was harassing me by email today, and then he fed me to the auditors. I did get my write-offs back from CA though, and was able to get them through, even if Canada did ask me to explain their own write-off process to them. Alan backed off later in the day, for which I was grateful.

I was out of lunches to pack so I treated myself to lunch at the Saffron lunch buffet today. Their food is so wonderful.

I worked on PODs on a big account until it was time to go. The hold screens were dead, and everyone went home a bit early, which was nice.

I had no plans for tonight. I'd seen Russ and Billy already this week, and I was going to see Miss Kat and dana tomorrow. I was tickled to get a call from Justin. He came over and gave me a really great glass porn book - Treasures of Very Rare Depression Glass by Gene Florence. He seemed very pleased with the Carnival Glass vase I got him. He didn't even seem to mind my giving it to him in the store bag (I hadn't had time to wrap it before he got to the house). After looking everywhere for one last year, I walked in to the friendly man's antique store to find it sitting there on sale. I couldn't resist.

We went for Mexican food for dinner and had a bit of a visit before he had to go meet Chad for supper. I showed him the Baby It's Cold Outside number from the Christmas glee, which is absolutely the most precious thing ever. I think he likes it as well as I do, almost.

A post in which there is one more day to go

I got the info requests under control and got them out to CA today, then started on write-offs. I got those turned in because Alan would be out tomorrow.

I had an invitation from Russ for supper tonight, and was very much looking forward to it. I met them at the house and we went out for sushi. When we got back to the house, I had two more gifts from them! They got me a Christmas ornament of Bugs Bunny in drag. I really love it. I bought one for Donnie last year, and afterwards wished I had gotten one for me as well. Russ got me a copy of the new Annie Lennox Christmas album. When I expressed my appreciation, Russ said "Well go ahead and open it - I want to burn a copy!" It was such a Russ moment, and I had to laugh about it. He burned me a copy of the glee Christmas album in return. I really enjoyed seeing them. Russ and I both lamented that we had to work tomorrow, but it had to be done. At least Alan won't be in the office tomorrow.

A post in which the bottom falls out

It was an absolutely crappy day at work. Apparently legal decided to clean off their desk before they left for the holidays. I came in this morning to a DOJ request for documents that expired yesterday. When I got back from lunch there was another from the Dept of Homeland Security. I was fit to be tied. I had planned on a quiet week doing write-offs, but that wasn't going to happen apparently.

When I got off work I went by CVS, which of course did not improve my mood.

I had left my phone at home today, and when I got in, I had a missed call from Eve. I called her back and she invited me to supper. I didn't have anything planned, and I really needed to see people after today, so I went.

We met at a little Italian place where I hadn't eaten in years. The food is still good. Eve looked the best I had seen her look in months. She had a good report from the doctor today, and he had taken out one of her drains. It did my heart good to see her looking and behaving like herself. We had a very pretty waiter whom Dad didn't seem to think much of. He was trying. I picked up the check for Dad's birthday since I hadn't gotten him a birthday present.

I was wiped, and begged off going to their place to visit. I went home and went to bed.

A post in which I go back to work

I was dead today. The rest of the office hadn't yet settled in to 'holiday mode' yet, and the reports had to be done. So I did them.

After work I was pretty wiped out. I had to go to the store because I hadn't done it yesterday, but after that I went home and went to bed.

A post in which it is a busy Sunday

Since a lot of people were still in town from the party, we made plans to go to breakfast the next day. MC and sa were there, as were Marty and Petal. We all left from Russ and Billy's house and went on to Stax Omega for breakfast. I had a very interesting sandwich on flat bread. It was good.

We left there and went to the shop. Russ was going to cut hair for MC. I rinsed her out again. I was a bit more nervous this time because I now know that she is tender-headed. I was as a child. But I was very careful and didn't hurt her head. She kept doing stuff to make me laugh. I just love her, and sa has been so sweet to me.

Although I didn't feel 'transformed' last night, it seemed as if everyone was nicer to me today. Not that they haven't been all along, it was just different. I don't have words to really explain it.

Russ got Marty in the chair, and kept him for over two hours! Apparently he had been waiting for this for a long time. He gave him the whole treatment, with hot towels, massage, etc. That was all well and good, but many of us had ridden with Russ and we had to wait for it all to get done. I didn't mind, I was really enjoying hanging out with everyone, but the day was melting away.

We didn't get out of the shop until about 3pm. I had to go home, wrap gifts for tonight (Russ had decided we would do gifts with the Sunday supper group this evening, and get ready to go to Dad's. I didn't even have a card for Dad's birthday. It was all I could do to get home, wrap and pack the gifts, and get cleaned up to meet Dad for supper.

I met them at Lieu's, pretty wiped out. Ava was in a precious little dress, and Cole had brought his best buddy with him. This was the first time I had met the guy. He was nice. After supper we went back to Dad and Eve's house. Dad gave Cole his car, but Cole hadn't brought his learner's permit with him so he couldn't drive the car. Dad was so disappointed, I could tell. Lisa had sent Dad a card, brought another one with her, and had gotten him a nice gift. Sigh. There I was, empty-handed.

We visited with them. I had thought I would have plenty of time to get to Russ's after supper, but they ended up not leaving until 10pm! I went on to Russ's, and everyone was there. We did the gifts. Jeff and James seemed to like their bottles, although initially they didn't know what the bottle tree was when they opened it.

Russ and Billy gave me some computer stuff to go with the new laptop, which was nice.

It was good to see everyone and spend some time with them, but I didn't leave until about 1am. I am gonna be dead tomorrow.

A post in which it is the BIG day

Today was the day I've been waiting and preparing for all year. I had planned to take it easy - I sure didn't want to be pooped out tonight. But of course I had stuff to do. First, I had to buy gifts of desperation.

I went by Wilson's today to try to find Russ's ornament display. I've looked everywhere, and this was the last resort. They didn't have it either. So I'm going to have to get him a gift card. I really hate that, but I have done my very best to try to find this thing and haven't even found a picture of one online. I also went to Greer to buy Amanda's Christmas present. She loves Jadite, but it's pretty scarce these days - it's a hot collectible. Plus I'm buying at what surely has to be the top of the market. But every time I think that Jadite has hit the peak, it goes up again. Unbelievable. I wasn't really happy with the piece I found and went to buy today. I've been going to the flea market and stuff in hopes of finding something better, but it just didn't happen. On Justin's advice, I went back today and bought her an egg cup. I don't really like it, and it's too small to look like much of a gift, but it was what I could find.

When I got home I laid up for a bit and took a little nap. When I got up, I had a pie to make. Lady Beth had asked us to bring sides tonight, and I asked about making a macaroni pie. After I sent the email out, I remembered that Miss Kat and Russ don't really like macaroni pie, but they have both told me they will make an exception for mine. It is a really excellent recipe (it's not mine, so I'm not blowing my own horn yet). I put the pie together and stuck it in the oven, and then got ready.

I drove to Lady Beth's myself. I called Russ and Billy to see if I was supposed to ride with them (Russ doesn't always tell me); but they had MC and sa at the house and had a car full already, plus I had a bunch of stuff to take with me, including a hot pie. I wasn't nervous on the way up, which surprised me. I've been so looking forward to this, and was expecting to be very emotional. I did mist up a bit while I was washing dishes after making the pie, but in general I did a good job today of just not thinking about tonight.

When I got to the house, everyone was there except for Russ, Billy, MC, and sa. Everyone greeted me enthusiastically and affectionately. My pie had turned out a little runny (I had under-cooked it with the idea of finishing it there) so I popped it in the oven. I got out the cookbooks, and then just visited with people. It was pretty much like a Christmas party, which of course it was.

When everyone got there and got settled in, Lady Beth called us to order and we did my induction ceremony. We started off by joining in a circle while Marty and Petal did drumming to bring us together and bring the power. Although Marty and Petal aren't formal members of the Kindred, I really love them, and it felt absolutely right that they were a part of my ceremony. The ceremonies are individual for each person. Mine was focused on herbs. Lady Beth did a reading about the nature of herbs and their powers of protection, nutrition, and magic. Everyone brought an herb to add to a jar, an herb for me, and they added them one at a time, explaining why they chose the herb that they did. I was very happy, but I didn't cry and stuff, which surprised me. Then Lady Beth got out my Kindred necklace and put it around my neck. That was powerful. And then I was in. Afterwards, everyone came up to hug me and welcome me as I knelt there. It was perfect, and completely unplanned. Miss Kat was the last. She just walked up to me with a little smile that kind of said Like we both don't know I own your ass already? Silly boy. in a sweet, loving, teasing kind of way. And of course we both knew that already.

It was a lovely ceremony, and a lot of work and thought went into it, but I didn't feel transformed, which puzzled me. I was expecting to feel that a huge change had taken place, but I didn't. I felt more as if I had slipped a last puzzle piece in to place, as if things were right and proper, and as they ought to be. It was much more powerful than that, but that is the best (inadequate) words can describe the main feeling. I think I had my transition this Spring. When we showed up at the dungeon in Atlanta as a group, and I was flagging purple for Miss Kat, that was when the shift happened. That was unexpectedly powerful for me. Later at SELF, when Miss Kat and I played, that was very powerful. In both of those situations, the Kindred were there, surrounding me and part of me, as I was part of them.

When Lady Beth sent out the initial email, suggesting that they combine my ceremony with the Christmas party, (once I got over the initial panic about the date the book was due moving up) I was a little bit non-plussed. She added that everyone knew I was family already, and they may as well just go ahead and do the ceremony, in what at the time seemed a rather off-handed fashion. But it wasn't. She was exactly right, as usual. By that time I was already part of the family. What happened tonight was really just a formalization of what everyone could already feel. And really that to me is more touching and more personal than a formal, transformative ceremony would have been. I'm not a formal kind of guy. Tonight the overall energy was more like "come on in to the Kindred- and take your shoes off", which was exactly what it should have been.

We ate supper after the ceremony. I had expected to eat leftover macaroni pie for lunch next week, but no. Gratifyingly, the pie was enthusiastically devoured. There are few things more satisfying to me than going home from the potluck with an empty dish. They washed the pan and handed it back to me. Lovely. I also got a lot of compliments. Even better! I am such a compliment whore. I ate some of the pie, and I have to say, it was excellent, even if I am bragging on myself. Everything was good. Billy made his fabulous baked brie, and really I could make a meal on that alone.

We also exchanged gifts. I didn't bring any. It is officially against Kindred policy to give holiday gifts, but apparently it keeps happening. I didn't know that. MC and sa brought lots of really great stuff! They gave us pictures of them that were just wonderful, and we each got a beautiful amulet that was made from coins they had hand-stamped on the ren fair trip I missed. They also gave us discs loaded with pictures that MC had made at different events. All lovely, thoughtful things, but not so expensive that you felt uncomfortable taking them, so spot-on perfect.

I got a very special gift from Wilenda - a pink tutu! In truth, deep down, I've always wanted one. She heard me say that a while back (we were talking about her making costumes for her children, I believe) and actually made one for me! It was a lovely thought, and a very special thing. Who would have thought I'd have to wait for 43 to have one of my very own? I put it on immediately, and did a few practice twirls. Michael (formerly Sir Michael) came with her, to my surprise. He was as gracious and gallant to me as ever, and congratulated me sincerely with an unexpected hug.

It was a lovely evening and I really enjoyed it. I feel like one of the family. As I was leaving, Lynn remarked that it was a bit sad that I was driving home alone, but it didn't feel that way. I reminded her that I had my herb jar with me, and that it had a bit of love and protection from everyone in the group - I would have the whole Kindred in the car with me! I drove back with my Kindred rings and amulet weighing delightfully on my chest. It's been years since I wore anything around my neck. The sensation is somewhere between a hug and a collar, and that feels right too. It's a tug of love and responsibility. The weight reminds me that I have standards to uphold and expectations to meet, but it also reminds me that I meet those expectations and standards joyfully because of the great gifts of love that go with them. Sometimes I move just to feel the rings shift against me, and sometimes I just reach up and hold them in my hand. I haven't believed in a talisman since I was a child, but of course this one represents something real. I feel pretty invincible in my Kindred rings.

A post in which I visit with Miss Kat and dana

I went and picked up the cookbooks today. They are really nice, and I'm very happy with the print job. The cover graphic turned out great, and they even put a black leatherette cover on the back without my even asking them - perfect. I'm so excited about tomorrow night now!

Today was the holiday lunch at work. They brought in Italian this year and it was quite good. The office was full of food - a lot of departments had their goody days today because so many people are off next week. I went over to marketing and snagged a big dish of what I thought was macaroni and cheese, but actually ended up being O'Brian potato casserole. It was pretty good. One of the departments had a cookie exchange today, and one of the women came around offering some of the cookies that were left. I took some. I LOVE cookies, and I'm not proud. She had plastic baggies and everything - this woman was prepared. I also packed up some of the left-over pasta from lunch. The pasta alfredo was excellent.

I was a bit down tonight about not going to see Miss Kat and dana. I miss them, but I thought they were still in Florida. I sent a text just to make sure, and found out that they were actually home! I was thrilled. I threw the cookies and the open tin of Toffee-ettes (ugh - I really hate that name) and joyfully made my way to their house. I took in a copy of the cookbook so Miss Kat could get an advance viewing.

I was very surprised at her reaction. I figured she would flip through it, make a comment, and that would be it, but she didn't. She got her glasses, sat right down, and read the introduction through. Then she started reading the recipes. I was very pleased and flattered - and surprised. I just sat and petted the dog and watched her read. It made me feel very important for her to pay so much attention to something I had written.

We enjoyed our usual visit and conversation. They caught me up on the trip to Florida, and to Disney. They apparently over-did it and suffered for it, which is very easy to do when you're there. I caught them up on what's been going on here. Another lovely evening at Miss Kat and dana's. Sigh. I am a lucky, lucky man.

A post in which I hear from Paul

Paul called me today. Apparently he called Eve to offer an olive branch, which she again slapped out of his hand. He called to ask her how she was doing, and tell her that they had heard of the difficulties she's been having. Reportedly she didn't even say hello, just started yelling at him.

I noticed last week that when she mentioned the card from Cindy (which even had a new picture of Brenden in it) she didn't seem terribly excited or over the moon. She didn't have much to say about it. Apparently when she showed it to me, she was waiting for me to criticize it. When I didn't do that, she didn't have much else to say about it. I draw this inference from the fact that Paul told me today that she castigated him roundly about what an inadequate, sterile, and generally unsatisfactory communication it was after all this time.

Sigh. She and Dad make me so tired sometimes. I just don't understand it. To make things even more pleasant, she gave Paul the third degree about how he knew about her surgeries and the difficulty thereof. That means she'll castigate me about talking to them. I'm supposed to keep their lives a secret from Cindy and Paul, in order to force them to call Dad or Eve if they want to know what's going on - yeah, that would work. Since I won't see them between now and then, it will probably be Sunday when we go for Dad's birthday dinner. I can hardly wait.

They had called me from the printer's yesterday to tell me that the cookbooks were ready. I was really stoked about picking them up today, but realized on the way home that it had completely slipped my mind! I couldn't believe that after that has been such an issue for weeks that I forgot to even pick them up. Tomorrow is the last day I have before I have to have them. That means if there is any problem, there's no time to fix it now (crossing fingers).

I got my See's candy on the way home last night!! Last year the company gave us See's gift certificates for Christmas, and I was so disappointed when I went to the mall to get my candy to find that they had already left. They pulled out the day after Christmas like a thief in the night. The gift certificates weren't redeemable by mail, which I have to say put my nose out of joint a bit. First they changed the name of my favorite See's candy from "Almond Rocha" to "Toffee-ettes", and now this! I have to admit though, as stupid as the name is, that's how good they are.

I finally remembered the gift certificates today. I put them up last year to save them. I walked in to the mall, just a bit ready for a fight. I wasn't sure they would honor the year-old certificates or not, but they did. They didn't bat and eyebrow, and were very nice to me. So that pretty much put my nose back in joint.

While I was at the mall anyway, I went ahead and picked up Reagan's gift - that finished Lisa's family. In the old days we would be doing gifts with them this weekend (we used to combine Christmas with her family and my Dad's birthday), but now that they have Ava and Brenden's out of the picture, we go to Chapin for Christmas.

I had decided to reward myself with dinner out for going to the mall, but there wasn't anything there that I really wanted, and I couldn't think of anything I wanted on the way home either. I ended up going home and making a salad, then having about a half pound of candy for dessert. Healthy.

A post in which it is date night*

(Faithful readers, I apologize for letting things get behind - the last week or so has been absolutely insane)

The main event today, of course, was the date with Logan. I made good time on the way home, thank goodness, and had time to shower, change, fluff the house (just in case), and drop Bernadette's Christmas card at the post office on my way to the restaurant. I was supposed to mail it last Saturday of course, and forgot as usual. I just put a bunch of stamps on it and said a little prayer. She'll probably get it late again though.

I was at the restaurant first, and had just ordered a cocktail when Logan came in. We had a nice meal (he is a surprisingly light eater for a young man) and talked. I drew him out a bit about his family tonight. Like Michael, his family is markedly drama-free and seems to be fairly uncomplicated. His parents don't seem to have had hysterics about his being gay, and although there was an adjustment period, it doesn't seem to be a big issue for him now. After the meal was through and the coversation waned a bit, I took a deep breath and had the pre-talk with him, which he was really cool about. After I finished, he said "So, do you want to go somewhere?"

We went to his place. Things weren't perfect, because life isn't perfect (I had to slap the virgo voice down outta my head); but it was quite nice. I hope to see him again. And that's all you're getting, sorry.

A post in which I have a date for the first time in months!

I just plain didn’t feel like working today, but of course I had to.

I chatted back and forth with Logan some today and we set up a date for dinner tomorrow night. We’re going to have sushi, which I am glad he likes. We do have this first awkward date to get through and then I can relax a bit.

On the way home I stopped by Hobby Lobby again – I had forgotten to look for Grandma Shumate’s calendar last night. I got one tonight, and it’s really pretty. I called Eve to check on her and ended up meeting her and Dad for supper at Lieu’s. It was a revelation to me that they would ever eat there, but she seems to really like it. We enjoyed dinner. Dad is really excited about giving Cole his Christmas surprise, even if it isn’t officially a Christmas gift. I’m excited too. Dad is going up to see Grandma Thursday, so my timing was perfect. I gave Eve the calendar for Dad to take to her. I didn’t go back to their house to visit tonight – I had stuff to do around my house. If we end up back at the house tomorrow night I want things to be nice. I changed the sheets (just in case) emptied the garbage, and did some other minor stuff.

I sent Justin a text to tell him I was once again contemplating seeing a younger guy, and I called him to talk for a while. He wished me well.

Just before I got into bed I tried on the Date Jeans, and they fit! So all signs thus far are good. I looked up his astrological sign today – he’s a Leo, and Virgos and Leos are suppose to make very strong partnerships if they can work through the early stuff. So this is not only the first date I’ve had in months, he’s the first guy I’ve seen since Michael with whom I’m astrologically compatible. Stupid, I know, and I don’t really believe in all that, but it’s nice to know anyway. I’ve been trying to keep myself from getting terribly excited, but it’s difficult. I am nervous. The last couple of times getting shot out of the saddle have been hard on me.

I just can’t believe it’s only Tuesday! I’ve had a full week already!

I got a text from Logan right before I got into bed, and we sent them back and forth until I signed off and went to sleep. He is such a sweet guy. I am encouraged.

A post in which I shop until I just about drop

I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts, for no good reason at all. Apparently I am mildly psychic, because when I got to work, I found that one of our attorneys had taken a huge dump in my in-box. Lovely.

I did hear from Logan today, which was nice. We sent a couple of texts back and forth.

After work, I was determined to brave the mall when it would hopefully be less busy. I don’t really need anything there now, but I had told Dad I would pick up some things for him. But I decided to make my way there shopping. I’m looking for this meshugeneh ornament display that Russ wants. I know exactly what it is, and can picture it in my mind, but unfortunately, there don’t seem to be any in the real world. I went by a couple of places, and ran into a guy that I knew at Hobby Lobby. He seems to be the only one besides Russ who has actually seen one of them, but they didn’t have any. There aren’t even any online.

I did get Brenden taken care of, which was a good thing, since his had to go in the mail. I was buying Dad and Eve’s present when I called Dad to ask for details on his errand. It turns out they were very close by having supper, and he asked me to meet him at Best Buy. Dad is getting me a laptop this year for Christmas, and he wanted to go ahead and get it.

That was a great idea. The problem is that I know about as much about buying a computer as I do about administering a pap smear. I had a list of things that Rod had told me to look for. Because Dad had told me he would have to do this without me, I gave him the list. Which of course he had left at home. So he kept asking me which one I wanted, and of course I had no idea. We did eventually get sales help though, and between the salesman’s input and Dad’s memory of the things on the list, we ended up buying the one Dad liked. Which was fine. I had called Billy about it, and he seemed to think it would work.

Since I was headed for the mall in a hatchback, and Dad had just paid almost as much for this computer as we paid for my first car, I sent it home with them in the trunk to be picked up later. Then, I braved the mall. It wasn’t really too bad at all tonight. I was able to get in to my destination store, where I proceeded to spend an obscene amount of money for some floop-a-doos. But hey, that’s what he wanted, and if it makes the recipient happy, I suppose it’s worth it. She’s had a rough year.

I left the mall shortly before it closed. I still hadn’t had anything to eat. I ran by the library to drop off an overdue book, and was heading home with great relief when I remembered that I had to go to the grocery store. I was too tired to even mutter obscenities. I went through there, got what I needed, and crawled home on my knees. Well that’s what it felt like anyway.

I got in my jammies, fed the cats, and threw some left-over spaghetti in the microwave. I ate it, brushed my teeth, and crawled gratefully under the covers. At some point, I have to change my sheets, but it just plain wasn’t getting done tonight.

A post in which I relax a bit

Russ had vaguely mentioned the flea market today, but when I got up around eight, I really didn’t feel like doing much. I had three hours until I was to meet them for brunch at Stax, but Russ told me to come on to the house before if I wanted. I had thought I might, but not. I was thinking about Logan. I wanted to call him, despite thinking I should play it a little cool. I was wondering how long it would be before he woke up when I got a text from him. I happily corresponded with him by phone until I was almost late for brunch.

When I got out of the shower, he was still texting. I got in the car and called him. We talked until I got there. It turns out that he likes older guys. He has been in a relationship of a year-plus, also with an older guy. That’s pretty impressive to me, since I was never able to hold anything together until my thirties. Also, he’s out to his parents, and has introduced a boyfriend to them before. All very good things. He sounds as if he has a good head on his shoulders. Plus he gets my jokes, and he likes a talker because he isn’t one. Since I would pretty much kill another talker like a Siamese Fighting Fish in a relationship that is a good thing. He also enjoys morning sex – a rare and precious gift in the gay community, and one I have seldom had the luck to encounter. We both regretted not going home together the night before, in a way. But of course my life is too complicated for that now.

When I got to brunch, there were a lot more people there than I was expecting! Chris and Kendel were there, which I knew, but Marty and Petal were there (yay!), as were Jazz and her Sir. Of course Joanne and Rob were there. Lady Beth came too! I was so excited to see her. I ran up to give her my protocol greeting, and was in such a hurry my knee went down on the curb and I fell over. She had to catch me to keep me from busting my head open on the pavement. Or just plain bowling her over. Smooth. Really smooth.

As usual when you have tons of people at a table, no one could really speak much to each other during the meal. I did talk to Chris and Kendel a bit. Chris is on vacation over the holidays as well, and we made plans to get together.

After brunch, everyone kind of took off for home. They had been in town for the Leather Ball. Russ told me that the Sunday supper for tonight was cancelled. We went back to their place and said goodbye to Joanne and Rob.

I had planned on more shopping today, but didn’t do it. It was so relaxing just to hang out with Russ and Billy. After last weekend, I felt like I deserved it. Billy and I watched last week’s glee, the Christmas one, which was incredibly sweet. We both cried through a lot of it. Russ was trying to put together a swing-through visit to Jeff and James’s house, or to get them to come by, but that didn’t happen.

Russ and Billy and I just went out for Thai, and then back to the house for the Fox Sunday night lineup. The Christmas Family Guy was on tonight, which I watched with great relish before heading home and to bed.

A post in which it is a very long and very interesting day

I got up this morning determined to get some shopping done. But first, a trip to the flea market was in order. I went ahead and got my fruit for lunches next week, so I won’t to worry about that, but there was nothing else there but junk. Not helping. I’m getting vintage things for several people on my list this year, and the flea market is not helping me a bit. I wanted to get the hard people out of the way first, and the antique stores won’t be open evenings next week, so I made the rounds.

I scored big for Justin’s present in the first store. I was really happy with what I found for him, and it spoiled me for the rest of the day. His was so perfect, but none of the rest of the stuff I found was. I found a TON of glass today (two Mayfair sweet pea bowls - two). Had I been shopping for myself I would have been thrilled, but as it was I didn’t buy most of it. I did find two Bubble berry bowls, and two dinner plates, marked so cheaply that I just couldn’t let them go. I bought them. I also found a Floral coaster (one of my favorite patterns) for only $1, and I just had to have that.

Floral or "Poinsettia" coaster in green, by Jeannette Glass, circa 1931-1935

The Jadeite shortage continues, and what I found today was incredibly expensive (one milk pitcher was $90) (!!). Not looking good for Amanda. But I picked up a couple of things for Jeff and James that I was reasonably happy with, and I have a back-up gift for Amanda that I can get if I don’t find anything better.

I stopped at a Greek place and had a delicious salad with plenty of Feta cheese on it on my way home. I stopped off to drop the recycling, which I had packed that morning so I could do that while I was out. By the time I got home, it was about four, and I was beat. I took a badly-needed nap. I’ve already felt crappy on Thursday, and I’m trying to soothe down the Epstein-Barr so I’m not sick all through my vacation again this year. That really sucked last year.

But Donnie’s party was tonight. I woke up feeling better, and started stirring around. I wrapped the gifts I was taking and got cleaned up. I called Eve to check on her on the way out to Greer, and I called Russ and Billy too. Chris and Kendel are coming in to town this weekend for the Leather Ball, which was tonight also. If they had been at the house, I would have dropped by, but there was no answer.

I got to Donnie’s just as the party was about to hit full swing. It was a madhouse this year! It’s grown steadily and it’s finally outgrown the house. There were over 50 gifts in the gift exchange this year, and it was pretty unmanageable. I missed my gift getting opened, but it was a hit, and was stolen twice and out of the game within the first twenty or so minutes, which was gratifying. I finally just went out into the garage/smoking area because it was so crowded. I still had two gifts stolen from me, and ended up with a gag gift. That was fine. There was a woman there named Mo who liked it, and I gave it to her.

Other than the madding crowd it was a nice party. Nicole was dressed up like a sex kitten, and had on these fabulous leopard print spike-heeled go-go boots. Kimbley looked smashing in an animal-print wrap desk and spike-heeled black suede boots. I didn't wear my kilt. It was supposed to get cold, and plus I just wasn’t feeling it. I got to see Karen and Billy, which is always good. I hollered at Dan’l on the way by him once, but didn’t really get the chance to talk to him. I never saw Jim. I got to see most of the people I wanted to see, though, and if I didn’t get a chance to talk to Donnie, I did get a chance to give him the ornament I picked for his gift – he gave a gratifying reaction of appreciation. I don’t usually get to talk to Donnie at the party anyway. He’s the belle of the ball, and good for him.

Shortly after I got there, Mark had made a bee-line to me to tell me that they had someone they wanted me to meet. That was fine with me. I’ve kind of had some kind of Quasimodo thing going on lately, and I am so not too proud for a fix-up. I smiled and nodded at him a couple of times from across the room, when neither one of us could really get to the other. He finally just came out onto the porch with me and we started talking. He’s nice. His name is Logan. He’s only 25 (yikes), but he seemed to be attracted to me. We went back in to Donnie’s den, which had somewhat emptied out by then, and talked for a while. He’s a great kisser too.

Eventually I headed on out. I didn’t make a pass at him. I’m trying to do this right. Plus, Donnie and Mark just seemed to take it as such a foregone conclusion that I would take him home that it rankled me, just a bit, although I can undestand the assumption. I have his phone number. I’m going to talk to him and get to know him a bit before any hanky-panky. Dammit.

But it is nice to have something romantic on the radar. It’s been a while.

A post in which THE COOKBOOK IS DONE!! YAY!

The cookbook is done!!! It’s DONE! And it’s good. I’m proud of it. There were a couple of recipes that didn’t make it in, but I ended up with 56. That was more than I ever intended to do. I called the printing place today to find out if they could get it back to me by next Friday. They told me they could. I wasn’t quite finished when I initially called them, and so I asked if I could turn it in on Monday. There was a pause “Sure.” The woman on the phone said. I didn’t like that pause. So I jumped on it, did a quick edit on a couple of pages, put together my table of contents, and hand-numbered the pages. I couldn’t figure out how to get them to number automatically, and it was going to get complicated. They are telling me that it’s no problem to have it back by next Friday. I emphasized that it had to be finished on pain of torture and death. The title is Kindred Cooking – What to Whip Up for Hungry Hedonists. I was limited to what was in stock for my binding, which I was a bit disappointed in, but I’m still pretty excited. When I dropped it off, it was like a weight had fallen off my shoulders.

I called Miss Kat tonight, forgetting that she and dana were in Florida for the week. Shortly after I talked to her though, Russ asked me to the house tonight. Joanne and Rob are in town and were already there. Russ did a Rankin-Bass Rudolph tree this year, and it is lovely. It's my favorite tree he's ever put up. We ended up going to get Chinese buffet, which really didn’t seem to agree with any of us.

We were packed in the car heading home (those of us in the back seat thought) when Russ abruptly decided to detour to Kohl’s. Well I needed stuff from there anyway. He’s looking for an electric pressure cooker, which they didn’t have, but I was able to pick up Lisa and Carl’s present while we were there - and bonus for me. It was quite handy to have Rob there as my ‘straight guy consultant’ on Carl’s gift. Now that the cards and the book are done, and the tree is up, my next focus has to be on serious Christmas shopping. I have a lot of gifts left to buy.

We went back to the house and hung out for a while, but I have a long day tomorrow. I toddled off home and put myself to bed.

A post in which I feel pretty crappy

I woke up today after another crappy night’s sleep. I’ve been sleeping poorly recently, I think because of stress. My spankin boy was supposed to come by to see me today, but didn’t show up. Probably just as well. I really didn’t feel good at all. I decided to stay home today.

After a champion’s breakfast of leftover spaghetti, I settled in for some sleep. I woke up still feeling bad and addressed the rest of the Christmas cards I had. I ran out for another box of cards, and managed to find a box that was marginally acceptable at the Kmart near my house. Amazingly, they have stopped selling religious calendars, so I’ll have to get my calendar for Grandma Shumate elsewhere. They also didn’t have a Gamestop card or a Home Depot card for sale. So much for getting any Christmas gifts off the list. They did have a little surprise I picked up for Miss Kat.

I went over to BiLo near my house to get stamps, but of course since it was Christmas and people were actually buying stamps, they were out. I really hate that store. I dropped the stuff at the house and ran over to the post office in my neighborhood for the stamps. This was one of the few times I could take advantage of the 'ladies-who-lunch' hours they now keep. They did have stamps, thank goodness, probably because they aren’t usually open any more.

When I got back to the house I felt too crappy to continue cards right away. I had a small lunch and lay down for a while. I actually slept for another hour or so. When I got back up I finished the cards, except for those errant few that you have to track down addresses and stuff for. And that was pretty much what I got done today.

I lay down a while to finish out the afternoon, dozing off and on, and then got up and got cleaned up later in the evening. I went to the post office and dropped off the completed cards. I then went by and got some french fries that I really didn’t need for supper.

Scrooged, one of my favorite Christmas movies, was on tonight and I watched it. I think Bill Murray was great (as usual) in this, ruthlessly spoofing the excesses and tackiness of TV. That satire still feels fresh, even if his “good” gift on the gift list (a VHS machine) is now hopelessly dated. I really like Carol Kane in this. I wonder what happened to her. It’s always a chuckle to see flavor-of-the-month (at the time) David Johansen in this too. I took some Ibuprofen and by the time the movie was over, I felt semi-human. Hopefully I can sleep this off and feel better tomorrow.

A post in which I take dinner in again

I got a good bit done today. I got some work done on the cookbook, which really needed doing. It’s due on the 18th, and I have no idea if there’s even any place to get it printed and bound in town. I also got in touch with Lisa about Christmas for her and Carl. I also talked to Paul today about what to get for Brenden. He’s getting to the age that I won’t really be able to buy for him any longer – this year it’s a Gamestop card.

I talked to Eve today a couple of times. She was finally discharged and got home around 2. Apparently the meatball sub was a hit last night, because she asked for another one tonight. I love Bertolo’s Pizza. The people there are incredibly nice, and I love supporting local business. Eve has apparently gone off Capri’s for a bit, and after they gave me meat sauce the last time I went over there, they’re kind of on my list too. I had baked spaghetti tonight. It wasn’t as good as Capri’s but it was fine, and the portion was enormous, and much cheaper than Capri’s. Dad insisted on paying me for both nights’ supper, despite my protests.

I had planned to be out again tonight. The Christmas things are piling up, and I have got to get on top of that pile or it’s going to bury me! To that end, I had packed up the Christmas cards and my address book. I went in BiLo (since they were just around the corner from the restaurant) to pick up a box of cards since I didn’t buy any last year after Christmas as I usually do, but they didn’t have any. Great. I didn’t have time to go anywhere else, and that meant that I couldn’t finish the cards tonight. After I took supper in and we ate, I sat and did Christmas cards over there while we listened to TV. That kind of killed two birds with one stone. I was able to make serious headway into the cards. I’m also cutting down that list, which has gotten ridiculous through the years. Some of the people on it I haven’t seen a long time.

By about 8:30, Dad was ready for bed, and frankly so was I. I toddled on home, relaxed for a few minutes, and turned in. It’s been a really long day.

A post in which Eve has surgery yet again, bless her

I had forgotten that when I stay up too late it’s the second morning that is the hard one. I awoke to that remembrance today. Again, I went outside for a cigarette (which I needed) with my coffee (bad, wicked, naughty) but didn’t tarry. It is really cold this week!

My boss gave me my Christmas present by leaving the office for two more weeks. The Canadian guru is on the road too, guaranteeing that everything will be thrown into a mess again this month. She didn’t get back with me on releasing her reports last month and everyone was in a tizz about it.

I got in touch with Lisa about what to buy Carl for Christmas. She doesn’t know either. Lovely. I hate buying for men. They are so hard!

My movie buddy Nancy is interested in going to see The Black Swan. Now that I’ve had a moment to read more about it, so am I. Hopefully we’ll be able to claw out a couple of hours to see it during its (assuredly brief) run here.

Eve had the surgery she’s been dreading today. I checked in with Dad this afternoon though, and she seemed to be feeling pretty well. I took the meatball sub she ordered to the hospital for her supper and she ate every bite of it. I had a sub with her (Dad had already eaten) and we hung out in the room and watched TV and stuff, pretty much as if we were at their place. Eve was uncomfortable, of course. The procedure today was pretty extensive. But she’s a trooper. After demanding that those awful anti-embolism 'gauchos' be removed (for which I couldn’t blame her a bit – they’re awful), she got out of the bed to stand up for a while and seemed to feel better.

I excused myself around 8pm and told them I’d check in tomorrow. I still have 8,000 things to do, but I didn’t do them tonight. I’m still worn out from the weekend, and I really just wanted to sit and enjoy the tree for a while. So that's what I did, irresponsibly. For some reason, my supper hadn’t satisfied me and I was still hungry. I had some junk snacks while I watched a bit of telly.

I’m going to absolve myself from any housework this weekend (except making lunches of course) and concentrate on the cook book. Hopefully I can get the recipes finished up, and then there will just be the coordinating, numbering the pages, and securing the copies to take care of next week. It's due in on the 18th, so I really need to get going on it.

I actually have more plans than I thought I did this weekend, as frequently happens during the holidays. Russ and Billy have a houseful this weekend: Joanne, Rob, Chris, and Kindle are coming. I’ll go over there for a while Saturday before I go to Donnie’s party. Then Sunday I can skip brunch and work on the book until I have to get ready to go to the Sunday night supper. The last I heard that will be at Russ and Billy’s as well. So quite a busy weekend coming up, and I’m not going to have a lot of time to myself this week. If worst comes to worst, I can tell Dad and Eve that I’m skipping next week’s visit. I told them I might have to do that. I guess it will work out.

In the meantime, despite my good intentions to turn in early, I lay uselessly on the sofa watching the Family Guy marathon until I finally decided to get ready for bed.

A post in which I go back to work

Well, back to the real world. I survived the weekend, so now I have only the remaining 8,000 things left to do. I slept poorly last night, and decided that coffee alone wasn’t going to cut it. I went out on the porch for a cigarette, but I only had one, and I didn’t stay long. As Bernadette says, it was butt-ass cold out there.

I plugged in the tree and got ready for work. Work was pretty usual. I’m winding up the presentations and starting the weekly reports.

I called Mama today to tell her happy birthday. She and Rod had been to Savannah for the weekend. That woman loves to go more than anyone I know. He took her out today and bought her a really nice leather jacket for her birthday, and it sounded like they were having a great time. Good for her.

After work I decided to run errands since Eve is having her surgery tomorrow. I went by the pet shop and the library, and then home to eat the last of the party food for supper. I’m eating pretty Spartan lunches this week, in part because of all the rich food I know is headed my way. But I wasn’t going to let the party food go to waste now was I? Besides there wasn’t that much of it. And I had a salad too, OK?

Feeling pretty wiped, I decided to turn in early tonight, and went to bed with Marty on TCM. I really do love that movie. I’m so happy that Earnest Borgnine finds love. He totally deserved that Oscar.

A post in which I put up the first Christmas tree in four years

In many ways I have been dreading today. First because the house had to be cleaned. It could no longer be put off. Secondly, of course, I had been dreading today because we were putting the tree up. I haven’t put the tree up since Michael left. It was up for that last, terrible Christmas because we had to separate the ornaments, and I really hadn’t cared anything about seeing it since then. The center of my tree for the last five years I put one up was a large Christopher Radko ornament I bought at Disney on our honeymoon, and I really didn't know how it would feel to see it again. But I was challenged to a personal growth task by the Kindred, and it was probably time to get it back out. Plus when I made the pledge, it seemed a year away, and safely distant.

Before I got started, I ate a decent breakfast and went to the flea market. I had to buy fruit, and wanted to look around for some Christmas gifts. I found the former, but struck out on the latter. I also unexpectedly found myself on the verge of tears several times. I was thinking this was not a good omen. I know, and I’m sorry. I’m sick of listening to me whine too. But it’s the truth.

When I got home, I got stuck in and made the dust fly – and about fucking time I did too. I knew what had to be done, and what I wanted to get done, and I did almost all of it. This took some time. In the end, the house looked pretty good, and I was tired. Everyone was late, but that gave me time to do the little things like wash the wine glasses (Russ had given me a bottle of red to open to commemorate the occasion). About the time I sat down, Russ and Billy pulled in. And that was a good thing. I didn’t have time to get broody. I’d been too busy today to really dwell on it.

They burst into the house in an exuberant tumult, and I was tickled to see them. Billy had brought snacks with him, and thank goodness he did! I’d been so rattled about the whole thing that snacks even crossed my mind, unbelievably. Since the rest of the gang was running late, we went ahead and got all the stuff down from the attic. I put the tree together and fluffed it.

Shortly afterwards, Jeff, James, Amanda, Morgan, and Andrew spilled in the door. We poured wine, got them settled in, and I started trying to direct people toward the tree. Jeff, as I had hoped he would, just took over. He of course re-fluffed the tree, then fixed the lights. He and Billy did the garland, and after that we got the ornaments out. Billy took over the suddenly very complicated job of ordering the pizza, and in short order it was there. We ate, and then everyone chipped in and hung ornaments. I even hung a few, and that was the last thing I was intending. Usually I re-live the memories of the ornaments I've collected through the years as I put them up, but I was content to let everyone else get them out this year. I found that I had gotten the big ornament down by mistake, and Billy hung it for me. It was OK. There were ornaments I was very glad to see; some of them have lovely memories attached. Russ had brought me an ornament to commemorate the occasion. It was so thoughtful of him. I was quite surprised to realize that I was having a very good time.

I had thought that having my friends around would make this procedure bearable, but they did so much more. Surrounded by people I love and having the house full of laughter and conversation was deeply satisfying to me in a way that I can’t adequately describe. My house felt like a home, not just a refuge. I am such a lucky, lucky man to have such wonderful people in my life. My cup truly does runneth over. There are times that I have to remind myself of that, but tonight was not one of them.

When the tree was done, we just sat and visited and talked. I made coffee. I hadn’t gotten any dessert, but there was a frozen chocolate pound cake in the freezer, so I just popped a couple of slices into the toaster oven and served that. Morgan and Andrew gave us all exquisite little Hanukkah cards with lovely little notes inside. Almost before it seemed possible, it was over, and they were going.

I straightened up the house happily, with only one mar on the occasion. As I was putting mugs away I broke one of my hand-thrown pottery bear mugs. I love them, and had paid a good bit for them, but when you use things (like hearts? too schmaltzy?) they get broken sometimes. That's just part of life.

I spent just a moment admiring the tree before I turned it off and got into the bed with a thankful heart.

A post in which I attend my first ever pie party

I awoke this morning with pretty much the best of intentions, which I then proceeded to wreck. I fooled around on the computer for a while, rationalizing that I wouldn’t be able to get anything done before I had my hair cut at 10:30 anyway, although I certainly could have. I breakfasted on left-over cream horns from last night, since they are, after all, one of my favorite things in life. Bad idea. Because of the hypo-glycemia, I really need some protein on my stomach in the morning to keep me from having a sugar crash. I know this, and I know better than to do that.

I did get the car loaded with some stuff for Goodwill and got to the shop on time, but I was starting to feel yucky. By the time my haircut was done, I had a headache. Russ gave me some snacks from his treat jar though, and I headed out. I dropped the stuff at Goodwill and went to the grocery store. I picked up pie supplies, lunch, and a bag of beans for soup to take for lunch this week. I felt great in the store, smiling at strangers and generally being obnoxiously pleasant, but by the time I got home, put the groceries away, put a load of laundry in, and ate lunch, I felt like crap again. It was obvious to me that I would have to lie down for a while if I was going to be worth a damn at the party tonight.

I felt much better when I woke up, and started shuffling towards the kitchen to begin the pie-making. Since I had two crusts anyway, I made two an extra quiche to eat on this week. I made Billy mushroom quiche with scallions. They smelled good, and turned out pretty. I was cleaning the kitchen when Nicole called. She was in the midst of the day from hell unique to someone who works in retail during the holidays, plus her fridge had died and she hadn’t been able to make a pie. Donnie had canceled, and she was just generally frazzled. I took two calls from her, settled her a bit, and prepared to be welcoming.

The house needed to be cleaned. I had planned big doings today which sadly had not occurred. But that didn’t stop me from fixing up a bit. I dusted the living room and did some other small cleaning jobs while I waited for her. I had time to make sure that the house was attractively lit and ready to receive a refugee from the unkind world. It's kind of nice to have someone to do for - I don't have that very often. Nicole showed up, pretty much as frazzled as I had expected, but I insisted that she remove her coat, sit down, and relax for just a minute before we left the house. She poured out the trauma of her day and seemed to feel better. We chatted for a bit, and that minute turned into over an hour.

We were late for the party, but that was fine. It was just around the corner from the house anyway. The pie party was in a small pottery gallery in City View, of all places. Now I had been over there before, but had you told me in my 20s that I would be going to a pie party at an art gallery in City View, I would have laughed and laughed. I had been expecting 18 or so Jell-o pies and my homemade quiche, but I had very much under-estimated the competition. These people had brought it, and although my regular quiche is quite good, I immediately dumped my thoughts of winning any kind of prize for my pie.

There were all kinds. Notable was one pie that had a carved vegetable dragon on top with a font of fresh watercress spewing from the open mouth. Not that tasty, but very pretty (there was a category for Most Beautiful Pie). There was a gooey chocolate pie that had to be tasted to be believed – truly a pie-gasm. There was an incredible gratin of sweet and white potatoes in a buttery rosemary crust that just had to be tasted to be believed. Not really a pie, mind you, but who cared? Another interesting idea was a Cherpumple pie. The guy had stacked a cherry, pumpkin, and apple pies on top of each other, kind of covered the whole thing in cake batter, and baked it. I can’t imagine what he cooked it in. It looked like a soufflé, but it was free-standing, and I’ve never seen a spring form pan that high. There was a store-bought crust filled with plastic kazoos, which resulted in an impromtu kazoo accomniment to the music later (there was a WTFWYT category, which is what I assumed the goal was).

The talk was good-natured, but I got the impression this was one of those parties (as are some of those I attend) where everyone kind of knows each other. They all seemed to know more people than I did, and they all seemed a bit more hip and fashionable than me. I knew Nicole. Period. Maybe it was just that most of them were straight, I don’t know, but I seemed to be unable to find my niche. I tried talking to a couple of people, but they basically just drifted away. Adding to the problem was that we had arrived at the party just as our appetites peaked. I had eaten two plates of pie. It was just a bit of this and a bit of that, but all those pies seemed to have taken up some kind of mad and vaguely nauseating square-dance in my stomach. I usually have an iron stomach, but tonight it felt like aluminum foil.

Nicole was tired too. She’d had a very long and trying day. She made her goodbyes and introduced me to the host, who was a very nice man. We adjourned to my place for drinks and chat, but the events of the day had drained both of us, and I needed to lie down and stop moving my gut around. She stayed for a little bit, and then went on home. It was an interesting evening, I did do something new, and I got to spend some time with Nicole. That's a win.

A post in which I begin to panic

about Christmas. And high time I did too. I was suddenly overwhelmed today. This weekend is the busiest one I have for the year. I have:
-- a pie party tomorrow night, for which I have to bake a pie
-- the whole gang at my (incredibly nasty) house on Sunday to trim the tree
-- a cookbook due in by the 18th, which is not complete
-- three (3) Christmas presents purchased
-- Christmas cards to send
-- plus I have to get my hair cut tomorrow
-- Eve going into the hospital on Tuesday
-- God only knows what going on with Dad's kidneys
-- and, oh yeah, work.
Yeah, it's high time I started to panic. So I was sitting at my desk quietly freaking out when Fran called and talked for a few minutes. She made me feel better. You just take things one at a time, right? Eventually everything will get done. By next September.

But seriously, she helped me put it in perspective. Presents are only an internet click away, God bless it. The pie will get baked, and then I get to go to a great party with Nicole and Donnie, although Nicole told me today that it will be outside (and I'm like what?). My friends Sunday are coming to see me, not the house. If I clear the most egregious of the cat filth, they're not going to care about the house. They love me and are coming to help me. Fran is great.

All this put me in a much better state of mind for the evening. dana invited me over - yay! - and I was able to relax and enjoy it when I finally made it over. I went by Russ's shop to pick up some stuff he wanted me to take over there, then home to change and feed the cats, then to the grocery store for dessert (dana has had to go back out for dessert the last two times I've been over there, and I didn't want her to have to do it tonight), and then to Long John Silver's for a quick bite of supper. I LOVE LJS. It's a guilty pleasure. They have the absolute worst fast food you can possibly buy, but I love it anyway.

They were having a rough night at the LJS tonight. There was a family of 6 milling around in front of me, so I knew my food would be late tonight - the one time I didn't bring a book in with me. Sure enough, they seemed to have ordered at least one of everything on the menu, plus the kids were all play fighting while they milled around waiting. Plus there was no carbonation in the root beer. Plus the sweet tea was almost gone, and not very sweet to boot. Plus I ordered a medium fry, and when I did get my food I could have counted the fries without moving anything. But they were very nice, as always. They have the nicest staff in that store. Plus I figured that I didn't really need more fries in my diet anyway. So I gloried in the fried splendor of the meal, and then headed for Miss Kat and dana's.

I know I should have stayed home and cleaned, but screw that. It's Friday night, and I had to navigate the labyrinth that is the Canadian presentation this week. Plus I think we all know how likely it was that I would actually clean anything tonight - not bloody likely. Plus I'm just not going to stay home and clean when I'm invited out by friends. Life is too short for that.

It was great to see Miss Kat and dana, as always. The 'gourmet' brownies I picked up at the grocery store were a big hit with Miss Kat, and I had gotten a half a cherry pie for dana. We relaxed and visited and caught up from the week. It was a really nice evening, as always. They are such good friends.

So I came home, turned on the TV, consumed half of my refrigerator, and went to bed.

A post in which I am a bit maudlin

Work is grinding me down. The month end procedure for Canada is torturous. It was better than last month in that a) I knew it was coming, so it wasn’t an unexpected lump in my in-box – I needed a bit of loin-girding time; b) I do have some familiarity with the information this month, albeit a glancing and incomplete familiarity; and c) I haven’t cried this month. I’m counting my blessings where I find them.

I stopped off at the pet store and then went back to the grocery store tonight. I had to have something to take to lunch tomorrow. I do find small things that make me smile. That’s encouraging. This evening, it was a rather nondescript woman in a pair of sassy red boots. I was glad she wore them. Another one was the sight of a small boy at the grocery store with his father, clinging to his dad’s big hand. Sometimes little things just overwhelm me, and it’s all I can do not to embarrass myself. But I am hoping as long as there is capacity for joy there is a hope for the future.

When I got home I had to change the sheets since I hadn’t yet done it for the week. About bloody time, but then I was gone for three nights last week, so it wasn’t disgusting or anything. I folded the load in the dryer, and put flea stuff on the cats. It is crossing my mind that I have TONS to do this weekend. I have a pie party on Saturday night, and the whole gang is at my place Sunday to put the tree up. The house is definitely not gang-ready. This is the busiest weekend in December, and to top it al off, Russ has been suffering with his tooth this week, so I have to go to get my hair cut on Saturday. I guess I’ll get it all in somehow.

My copy of Xanadu came in today, and I put it in as I ate supper. I had intended to go to bed early, but then got caught up in it and had to finish watching it. I know, in the logical side of my mind, that it’s a dreadful movie – absolute dreck. But I appreciate the cheesy awfulness of it because it was made when I was growing up. The schmaltzy sentimentality of it appeals to me, not because I buy it really, but because I miss the point in my life where I did. It’s so nice to think that love conquers all, that there is a perfect match for everyone out there, and that it will all work out in the end. I guess that’s one of those reasons I’m one of those saps who demands a happy ending at the movies. There are enough sad endings in real life - that’s not what I want for entertainment. So when I get misty-eyed at a stupid movie, it’s because I miss the young, sensitive Steve who believed some of it. I mourn him, and at the same time hope he isn’t completely gone.

A post in which it is the weekly supper with Dad

Today was almost as bad as I had been dreading. I tried to stay calm and just work on one thing at a time, but by the end of the day I was frazzled and drained. I worked a half hour of overtime because I was meeting Dick and Eve for supper, and Dad doesn’t close the shop until 6 so he’s always late. It did give me something to look forward to at the end of the day though.

We had supper at Portofino’s, and it was as good as always. I decided to try something different tonight and had the cannelloni, which was excellent. I hadn't had any for a while because veggie cannelloni is hard to come by around here.

We went back to their house afterwards for a visit. I found out some bad pieces of news tonight. First, Eve’s old surgery site (which they have opened three times now) still isn’t healing. This has been going on since July. She is scheduled for surgery on the 14th. They’re going to have to take the tissue out of her back for a graft and see if that will heal. It’s a fairly drastic step, and means still more pain and suffering for her. I feel so bad for her.

The other bad bulletin on the health front is that Dad is having kidney problems. His creatine levels are at dialysis level now – bad news. He really doesn’t need another health issue. I do feel bad for him, but I had to resist rolling my eyes a bit when he shared with me tonight that he thinks his continuing health problems are due to all the medications he’s been on through the years. I love my dad, but he’s been digging his grave with his teeth for over twenty years. If it helps him to have someone else to blame, though, so be it. I am of course sorry to hear of another problem he has to deal with.

A post in which it is a pretty quiet Tuesday

Today was the first day I’ve had at work where I really had time to draw a decent breath since I took over the Canada stuff. I appreciated it and took advantage of it; since month-end and year-end for the fiscal year starts tomorrow, I know it will be a while before I see the like again.

I went through the grocery store (since I hadn’t gotten half the stuff I needed last night) and the library again tonight (I had the notice on a book I asked to be held). I was ready to be home when I got home. I picked up the stuff to make burritos, since I wanted Mexican and just couldn’t bear the thought of another salad. They were pretty good.

Since I did so much last night, tonight was my flop night. I have about 8.5 million things that need doing, but I just plain don’t feel like doing any of them. So I did not. I did sit down with my new phone and put in all the numbers that didn’t transfer last night. I will freely admit to being gizmo-challenged. When I put the numbers in my phone when I first got a cell, I put in the 1 before the area code, which of course cell phones don’t need. The numbers worked fine in my old phone, but didn’t transfer over to the new one. That was a poser to me when I was trying to call Dad today and the call wouldn’t go through. So that was one productive thing I did tonight in a pool of sloth.

A post in which it is a busy Monday

I had all my calls to catch up on today, plus the usual weekly reports to run. That is before even thinking about month end, which starts on Wednesday. Sigh. I was caught up when I left though.

I heard from Billy today. Russ shared with me last night that he had given his old phone to Joanne while they were here for Thanksgiving, so I had thought I was SOL. But Billy said that he would see what he could round up at work. Apparently they give old phones to charity when the employees upgrade them. He came through. He was able to get me a phone for free! So top of the priority list was to go get it tonight. I ran by their place and picked it up. Russ had been to the dentist today for an extraction though, so he was in bed. I thanked Billy profusely and headed out.

The next stop was the Verizon store. I was there about an hour, but they got it all switched over, even if they seemed somewhat taken aback by my lack of phone savvy. I can't be the only person that comes in there that doesn't know how to program the things. I was able to ID the phone Billy gave me as a nice Motorola that would have cost $190 new!! It's by far the most expensive phone I've ever owned. This one isn't as cutting-edge as the phone Russ had, but then I really don't need cutting edge. This one suits me fine.

Leaving there, I had to go to the grocery store. I had no fruit for the week and hadn't felt like going to the store yesterday. After that I had to go by the library to turn in a book on CD that was overdue.

I was finally headed home about 8:30, and thinking I would collapse and look up the phone online to find the instructions, when it rang. Fortunately it wasn't hard to answer, but I couldn't get it unplugged with one hand, so I was driving kind of hunched over. It was dana, and how great that my first call on the new phone should come from her! She and Miss Kat wanted to visit, and of course I said sure.

I got in and had just enough time to run over the worst of the cat mess, put away the groceries, plug in the new phone to finish charging, and put on my pjs before they knocked. It was so good to see them! I love them both so much. We had a nice visit and chatted for a bit before they had to head home. I still hadn't had any supper, so I foraged through the cabinets for junk before turning in. What a day!

A post in which I head home

I slept well, and got up ready to head for home. I've really enjoyed my visit, but it's time. I had breakfast with Mom, and got her Christmas tree down from the attic for her before I left. It was a pretty day for a drive.

I got in tired. Just feeling run down. I've been trying to rest as I go, but E-B is pretty demanding. Before I could lie down though, I had to clean the kitchen and bathroom. The cats had destroyed both rooms while I was gone. They had knocked all the dishes in the floor in the kitchen, and the bathroom is always a disaster area after a trip. After yelling at them until they hid, I completely cleaned the kitchen, re-washed the dishes, and put it back in order. I gave the bathroom a lick and a promise, and then unpacked.

After a nap, I felt much better. I got in touch with the gang to find out what was going on. Originally, I had planned to be home early today to go to a family thing where dana was going to pop the question to Miss Kat, but she hadn't been able to wait, so that was no longer on the agenda. But dinner was on at Jeff and James's house. I cleaned the bathroom top to bottom, scooped the litter box, and got ready to go.

When I got to the house, things seemed off. It seems that Jeff and James had had a rough time. Sadly, Amy and Aaron broke up this weekend. I'll spare the details, but infidelity was involved, and Amy had showed up at their house, distraught, Saturday night. They all proceeded to get severely wasted and stay up all night. James had had about three hours of sleep.

But we were all hungry, and glad to see each other. James had promised sushi, and Amanda had her heart set on it. After a lot of debate (heedlessly, since almost all the sushi places close on Sunday around here) we ended up going to Kampai. OK, so it wasn't the best sushi in the world, we reasoned, but it was in fact sushi. Well that would be providing you could get it. There was apparently only one waiter on duty. The service was incredibly slow. It was fifteen minutes to get drinks, thirty to get appetizers, and a full hour after ordering before our food was all served. We were all pretty over it, especially James. But it was edible, and we were all together.

We went back to the house and had dessert before I said goodnight. Another long week ahead, and I have much to do.