A bad afternoon*

I had a really bad call this afternoon, and I don't seem to be able to shake it. One of those calls that just makes you feel like the LAPD has done the Watusi on your heart in spike heels. Usually, I can lay them down; I seldom take work home from the office, but this one is sticking. I needed to clear my head out before I went home, so I went and did some things after work. Usually, if I shop a bit, and go out and am extra nice to people it makes me feel better, but that was of limited success tonight.

I went to the library first, where they are always nice. We actually have a pretty great library system here. We have online access to allow to to track and reserve books, and you can renew online too. It always makes me feel good and grateful when I go to the library. How wonderful to live in a country where the government buys and maintains so many books just for people to use and enjoy. I got the third 'Thursday Next' book by Jasper Fforde, after finishing the second today. I will say it again. That man is a genius.

As I was leaving the library, a man asked me for directions to a place I had never heard of. Rather than just tell him I didn't know (I've had that happen, and it is so frustrating), I found out the address of the place he was going, and was able to get him back on track. I hope he found it. That made me feel a bit better.

Then I went to the grocery store. It's a little neighborhood store downtown that I used to live near, but I hadn't been inside in years. They are re-modeling the store, so it looked like a frustrating trip, but one of the guys working there recognized me, greeted me, and helped me find what I was looking for. Even the woman checking me out was really nice, despite the termoil the store was in, and the fact that they were busy. A man in the checkout line let me go in front of him, since I only had a few things, and his companion was helping an older woman steer her motorized chair out of a little jam she was in. As I was leaving, the off duty cop working security smiled at me, wished me a nice evening, and asked me to come back. It was the nicest grocery store trip I have made in months. I am going to have to call them tomorrow to thank them. So many people will complain, but so few will call in when things are nice.

When I got home, Mom had sent me a valentine, which I thought was very sweet. I'm glad I have flowers scheduled to be sent to her on Valentine's Day. I love to send flowers, and usually it picks me right up to make someone else's day like that. I have spent so many years sitting here with no flowers while the girls all around me get them. I won't have Mom doing that. I know what it feels like. Michael used to send me flowers, but of course I won't get any from him now. After the Anniversary Card debacle, I have decided not to send him a Valentine's Day card this year. We both sent them last year. I guess it's one more step apart.

Ordinarily, that good things that happened this evening would put me right immediately, but I still feel kind of burned out and bruised. I am hoping that a good night's sleep (hopefully with the CPAP) will make me feel better. I am really wanting to get that magical wonderful sleep so many CPAP users report having. Maybe since I won't be in a lab with all those wires attached it will work this time.

I made some nachos, but that didn't seem to be the lift it usually is either.