I really didn't feel like being at work today. I mean there are always places I'd rather be, but I was just having one of those days where I feel a complete disconnection. So I started off irritable.
I opened my email to find the 5,637th notice about open enrollment. Now they do that every year. But they make changes to our benefits throughout the year as well. In December, they forced us onto the pain-in-the-ass mailed prescription program, and told us that we no longer had the option of going to the drug store. The newest wrinkle in this processe is the 'mandatory re-up' feature. The entire benfits package is now dismantled every year, and we are forced to 'agree' to the new package in order to keep our benefits. If they just raised the deductable, that would be bad enough, but this new 'agreement' every year makes me very nervous and suspicious. We are self-insured, so we could be agreeing to almost anything.
I called HR to ask about this. The HR clerk was immediately defensive. I asked if this was just going to happen every year now. She said perhaps it would (in other words - yes). She tried to tell me that the company was the helpless victim of increasing health costs, and that if they didn't raise deductables and decrease benefits that the company could not stay profitable. I pointed out that we get quarterly earnings statements (we're publicly traded) showing the millions of dollars in profit that the company earns (we just finished a company-wide celebration of our THOUSANDTH profitable quarter in a row) . She said "Do you like your job? Do you want to keep it?" Yes, she actually said that. She tried to foist the blame off on Obamacare, which the majority of conservative ninnys who work here would accept at face value. But my step-mom worked in insurance. I know that we're self-insured, and I know what that means. It means that we pay our own healthcare costs. Blue Cross administers our plan, but that is all. So rising health insurance rates really have no effect on our package. She explained to me that if profits don't stay up, that the company would have to lay people off. I pointed out that HR is supposed to be our advocate. She said for me not to make HR the 'whipping boy', because all of these decisions were made far above their heads. The message was clear. Shut up. Take what you're given and be damn grateful for it or you won't be here at all. We have no advocate, and HR just rubber-stamps whatever management dictates. So what I got was "Napoleon is always right."
Now I guess I should have realized that was what I would get. But my company just received a 'Best Places to Work in the Upstate' award, and I guess I was believing our press releases. Still, after working here for twelve+ years, it's still a kick in the teeth to be reminded how infinitely replaceable you are. So that wasn't good. 
I calmed down (marginally, and with effort) and decided to tuck into the day's work. I had a fairly heavy day, and needed to start working on write-offs. I had two little accounts that had come screeching in at 5:20pm last Friday. I LOATHE tiny accounts. They are usually the most vocal, and the most insistent - not to mention the biggest pains in the ass to deal with. These were BOTH screamers, which is unusual. So I had a shouting match with one (on which I was sent in completely blind, with no indication that there was a dispute, to get creamed), and then after I got off the phone was admonished by the manager next to me because she finds my phone manner 'disruptive'. The second ended up the day by demanding an apology, and then threatening to write a letter of complaint to the board. That is a real threat. No matter how scummy the account, no matter how shitty their payment history, no matter how little they buy - if a complaint letter is received in California there is a Major Inquiry. So I'll have to deal with that over this worthless little prat whose company is failing, and who wants to make a major case over his 'dignity' because he doesn't want to pay $220 crummy dollars. It was the little garnishing turd on the top of a shit sundae of a day. I left the office on the dot of 5:30. There was no way I was working late to extend this day.
I got almost home, and then realized that I had to stop and get cream if I want coffee in the morning, and that I was out of gas. To top it all off, I'm broke. I mean, white-knuckling it to make it to the end of the week. I think I have enough to get gas, so I did.
When I got home, I put on my pair of 'real' Crocs, which came in today. I hadn't expected much of a difference, and there wasn't a HUGE difference, but they undoubtedly fit better. The strap on the back of them actually did something besides just hang there. That's what it does on the fake ones. So I am pleased. I'm not sure that they were worth paying twice as much for, but they are nicer.
I should have eaten left-over quiche and a salad, but I didn't have the patience to make a salad or the intestinal fortitude to be 'good' tonight. I tucked in to my container of Fresh Market pimento cheese, and at the whole damn thing. I felt moderately better afterwards. For a while. But that's stress eating, and I know that's bad. I finished off the meal with baked apples, and played on the computer until too late. I should have gone to bed long before I did. I pouted and didn't look at my phone all evening, so I missed a text from Gary.
There was nothing to do but hope tomorrow will be better. It should be. It's a pretty low bar to clear.
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