A post with some overdue pictures of my new living room

I figured you would want to see them. 'Bout time...

A post in which I have Nicole over

I finally got in touch with Lisa today about this weekend. We had planned this coming one as a visit weekend for me to visit her, but then her schedule filled, and I realized I had the Hat Party this Sunday. I haven’t had time to make any hat, so I’ll be wearing a baseball cap and a sheepish grin I suppose.

Since Cole’s team has a game up here this weekend, they’ll be up Saturday and I’ll join them there. Then there is a bear dinner Saturday night, and the Hat Party on Sunday. Another crazy busy weekend coming up. I also didn’t take the day off on Monday, so I’ll be in Monday morning drug out like a dirty rug. Since I took this past Monday off I guess it’s just as well I don’t have another one scheduled.

I hadn’t seen Nicole in a while, so I sent her a text on a lark today. She called me a couple of times last month, but things were so insane that I couldn’t find any time to do anything. Wednesday now is really my only free evening during the week. I don’t have things scheduled on Monday, but usually I’m either so exhausted I collapse when I get in from work, or (as this past Monday) making up for chores I didn’t do over the weekend because I was playing.

Unfortunately Nicole had to put one of her cats to sleep today, but she wanted to come over anyway. I can understand wanting to get out of the house after that. We worked it out and she got to the house about 8. I spent the time waiting surfing the web searching for Eve’s birthday present. She has let it be known (in her own inimitable fashion) that she wants a fancy birdhouse for her new flower bed. I know the kind she wants. Unfortunately the sell for about a hundred bucks, and I’m not going to plunk that down for a birdhouse. I’m going to consult with Dad.

Nicole admired the new living room, and we ate pizza and caught up on each other’s lives and relevant gossip. It was really good to see her.

A post in which I am able to help Cole

I had dinner with the rents tonight. We just went to Portofino's, where the food continues to be superlative. We also had a waiter tonight who was so hot I could have thrown him over the table and eaten him on the spot. I tried not to look too much since Dad was there, but sheesh. Yes it is spring, and George has again come out of hibernation with a vengeance. It's enough to make you nostalgic for winter.

After supper I visited with them for a while. Typical Tuesday, and I was glad of it. There's been too much to deal with lately.

On the way home I had a call from Cole. He was working on a project for Spanish class, and his teacher told him he could get extra credit if he made an authentic Spanish dish called "Tortilla de Patatas". He was asking me for pointers. When he started describing it, it just sounded like a frittata to me. I know how to make that, but he insisted it was something different. I thought about it the rest of the way home, and eventually figured that it had the same ingredients and assembly, so the cooking methods would be similar anyway. I was able to call and offer him some tips to make it easier for him. I can't help him with sports, and would despair of trying to help with school work, but this I could help with. It made me feel good.

Cole with his "Tortilla de Patatas", or Frittata, or whatever the hell it is. It looks good though.

I looked it up later. Basically, the Tortilla de Patatas, or Tortilla de Papas, is the Spanish version of a frittata, which is Italian. So I was a little bit right. I've never cared for frittata because to get it done through you have to dry out the eggs. It looks like it turned out OK though.

A post in which I feel kinda crappy*

I woke up this morning exhausted and not feeling well. It's the height of allergy season, and I was outside too much the last couple of days. I really over-did it this weekend, and because I played so much there was a lot of stuff I needed to do, not to mention I was sleep-deprived from all the night hours and early mornings.

Eventually I got it together a bit and put some laundry in. I got my valances up in the living room to finish it (finally). I cooked the squash I bought yesterday for lunches, hauled all over town, and then didn't have time to cook. I took a nap. I even had a buddy in.

By the end of the day I was back together enough to feel like I could start the week. Oy. Yeah, now the work starts. I have got to slow down.

A post in which I am madly glassing

Well Russ and I made plans last night to go to the flea market. He said we did before, and we may have, but I didn't remember it. I was up so late last night, and had so much to do that I kind of didn't want to go, but I haven't been in so long, and the weather has been so gorgeous, and Russ was singing his siren song, and frankly I just couldn't resist.

What a flea market day! The weather was gorgeous and the vendors were out, and wherever I looked it seemed there was glass. I hadn't really come with great expectations, but found a Royal Lace sugar bowl almost before we got started. I usually don't like that pattern in green, and I am faithfully sworn to STOP buying cream pitchers and sugar bowls, but it was priced at about a quarter what it was worth, and I just couldn't resist. It had been so long since I had bought anything.

Then I found a Queen Mary tumbler for a quarter, and obviously I couldn't leave that. That was followed by the find of the day, a green Princess vegetable bowl. The woman selling it usually has high prices on her stuff, and it's usually pretty beat up to boot; but apparently she was there to sell today, and I couldn't find a chip on this piece. I picked that up at about half price.

I bought a small bubble bowl for my set (I found one yesterday also, coincidentally), and then as we did the last row I found a green Patrician "Spoke" creamer. OK, it was a creamer, and I don't usually care for the pattern. But it's prettier in green - usually you see it in amber, and I don't like amber glass. The guy wanted $5 for it, and at that point there was no way. Eventually, after half walking away (I really didn't need it) he sold it to me for a buck. For that price, I couldn't leave it. It's in perfect condition too. So I was naughty. I really have to stop buying cream and sugar sets.

Patrician "Spoke" in green by Federal Glass Co., circa 1933 to 1937

Royal Lace sugar bowl in green by Hazel-Atlas, circa 1934-1941

Queen Mary 9oz flat tumbler in pink by Anchor Hocking, circa 1936-1949

Princess 9" vegetable bowl in green by Anchor Hocking, circa 1931 - 1935

I got in touch with Sabrina, and agreed on a time to get the chair. We left the flea market, picked up Billy, got the chair, and then stopped for lunch at Pho Noodleville, a haunt of Russ and Billy's. It's OK, they just don't give you very much food. But it was fine for lunch, and I hadn't eaten anything. I was so hungry at that point it was any point in a storm.

After lunch we went back to my place and stashed the chair in the green room. It does look good in there, and it doesn't get on my nerves the way the wing backs did for some reason. It's a nice piece. Either that will become it's home or I'll find someplace for it eventually.

We were off to Spartanburg for dinner tonight, but we were all pretty worn out. Russ and I had been on the go all day, and Billy's back is messed up. After a short, blissful interlude in my new living room, which I am growing to love more and more, it was time to hit the road again. We all got cleaned up and headed for Spartanburg.

Dinner at Jeff and James's house tonight was rather avaunt-guard. We had a beet and apple salad and lemon pepper fish. It was a nice meal. Morgan and Andrew were there, and Amanda. After dinner everyone relaxed, Morgan painting designs on people with a henna kit she had brought. It was a little nippy to be outside, but we were out on the front porch anyway. Lovliness.

A post in which it is a busy Saturday

I had a quite ambitious day planned today, but I didn’t exactly get a running start at it. Since I was up so late last night I was still in my jammies when Justin got to the house to view the new living room color and help hang pictures. First, though, we had tea and ate the bagels he brought. It was good to see Justin, it’s been a while. We have a lot of interests in common, and whenever I see him we fall right back in together as if we had just seen each other the day before.

I moved some of the pictures in the living room around, and took still more out. This is the second time I have decreased the amount of pictures in there, and I like it. The less stuff I have in my little house, the larger it seems. I’m trying out a new motto in my head: ‘Less is freedom.' It feels right, but it’s easier to proclaim than to put into practice, particularly for a collector.

With the pictures hung, Jeff and James dropped by to make pictures for their website for the new business. We made plans for lunch, and met at Corona’s on Wade Hampton. Although this was the site of the lousy nachos last week, I got a different kind today and they were much better.

After lunch Justin and I split off to do some antiquing, because that’s what we do. We did a mini-run to Greer and looked around a bit but didn’t buy much. I did fall in love with an $1100 linen press, but didn’t buy it, despite Justin’s encouragement. It is a lovely thing, but I have spent a lot of money this spring.

I was pretty horrified to realize while we were out that I had completely forgotten to go and get a chair I was supposed to pick up from Rhonda's ex Sabrina today. Rhonda moved away but couldn't take it and offered it to me. I don't really have a place for it, but agreed to take it because it is such a great chair. There was nothing to do but apologize profusely to Sabrina. She was nice about it.

When Justin left to go home I braced myself for another Saturday night alone. I had just seen Miss Kat and dana last night, and Russ and Billy had plans. But I had plenty to do at the house. Shortly after I got home though, Russ got in touch to say that they had decided to stay home after all. He invited Miss Kat, dana, and me over.

We all went and sat on his lovely deck for a while. I discussed the linen press thing with Billy, who helped me to realize that it would be insane to spend that much money on a piece of furniture to put shoes in. Hello.

We headed out to dinner at Stax Omega. Unfortunately they have cut their menu back severely and didn’t have what I wanted, but of course it wasn’t a problem for me to find something to eat. We just went back to the house and hung out until it was time to turn in. It was a nice, laid back visit, and I really enjoyed it. It was good to see Russ and Billy. It’s hard to catch up with them.

A post in which it is a rough Friday at work

Today was a terrible day at work. Not only did I find out I have to make a trip to Texas that will be a complete waste of time, I also set off a computer bug in our system that sent 5,000 (yes, literally 5,000+, not a humorous exaggeration) emails out to the company from my email address. After IT got the problem shut down, I had to go in and clean up my email. By that point I was pretty much done for the day.

Just as I was getting ready to leave, Miss Kat called to invite me for dinner. That was a nice end to the day. I had a very pleasant meal and visit with them.

On the way home, however, I succumbed to temptation and stopped for another complete dinner. Which I ate while I stayed up way too late watching trash TV and basically just being lazy. It wasn’t even that good. I’m pretty disgusted with myself, but tomorrow is another day. And Saturday!

A post in which I go sing

I woke up at about 4:30 this morning, the list of all the things I had to do today running through my mind. It was all just too much. After about an hour of that I just decided to get up. I knew I wasn’t going back to sleep. I’ve slept poorly this week.

Then I did something against my principals. Although I have paid to have my taxes prepared, I have always refused to pay any fee to file them electronically. I think the government gets enough of my money, and I just refuse to pay for something that saves them money and allows them to file their staff (even if they are tax collectors). But I was tired of fooling with the tax crap, and it needed to be done because I’ve put it off, and I had the wrong form (well actually I didn’t, but I didn’t know that at the time), etc. So I signed on to the H&R Block website and paid them $31 to send my state taxes in. I hated it, but I did it, and I felt better to have that done.

I have a bad case of spring fever, and it was really hard to concentrate at work today. I did what had to be done though.

I did take some time to write about going up home for Granny’s funeral today, and felt the better for it. I wonder now if writing is starting to become a coping mechanism for me. When the blog is badly behind, I go around feeling like there’s an unmade bed in the back of my head somewhere. I also have all these bottled up impressions rattling around in my mind. It’s uncomfortable. I’ve been kind of unresolved about the funeral in a way. I think I’ve worked out what was going on but writing it out made me feel better.

After work I was scheduled to run the gamut. I had to leave and go directly to Russ to get my hair cut, and then leave there to go directly to choir practice. It was a good thing I was up early this morning to pack a bag and all. After debating I just decided to catch supper on the fly somewhere, but it ended up working out. Russ’s back is bad so he called to beg off, which left me time to go home, eat, change, and feed the cats in a civilized fashion.

Choir practice was fun tonight. I’m really enjoying it. I’m always happiest when I’m singing somewhere – it really doesn’t matter where. But I am having a tiny conflict with it. Jim told us tonight that he had a job for a quartet to sing for a big Republican conservative reception downtown coming up. He emphasized that we needed the money, but that we would be there to blend in to the background, and were expected to sing a selection of patriotic standards. We would be allowed to give out business cards. One guy remarked, “Wow, good thing we don’t have ‘gay’ in our name.” Jim indicated that the woman retaining our services was a wealthy socialite and a valuable source for future gigs.

Now on the one hand I applaud Jim for putting together a working chorus that is actually part of the community. He has some community events scheduled where we will be able to be ourselves, and that’s great. But on the other hand, I thought I was joining a GAY men’s chorus. I understand he’s trying to make a living from this eventually, and really I don’t have a problem with that. It’s work to put together something like this and make it functional. But. I don’t do many things any more (none at all if I can possibly help it) where I am required to go in the closet or sit at the back of the bus. This isn’t a huge thing right now. The quartet is a volunteer thing, and even if I wanted to do it I’m not ready. I guess it will depend on where this goes. If you’re hiring out to sing, you sing what the client wants. I understand that. But if we end up spending an inordinate amount of time as ‘the help’, rather than the entertainers, particularly for people who look down on us, I’m gonna have a problem with that.

A post in which I briefly debate the nature of charity

I had an agenda tonight. I think I may have taken on a bit too much schedule-wise.

Tonight I had to go to the pharmacy, the grocery store, do a load of towels, and do my state taxes. The errands were run, and I was tearing into the house when I was approached by a guy. He was walking down the street, and I first thought Crap, he wants money. But he asked to cut the grass so he could get some food, so I said sure. I quickly got the groceries in, got the mower out, determined (of course) that I had no gas, and ran to the store to get some.

As I was on the way to the station, I happened to think that I had left this man on the front porch with my lawn mower sitting in the yard. That wasn’t a particularly smart thing to do, but I didn’t think they would be gone when I got back, and they weren’t. I put him to work, put the towels in, and futzed around the house while he worked outside.

A rather elegant solution to a dilemma presented itself. Amanda had left Chinese food with chicken in it in my fridge. (I loathe it when people leave meat in my house. I feel guilty if I eat it, and I feel guilty if I throw it out, so it’s a lose/lose.) I had resolutely decided to eat it for supper (the only thing worse than an animal dying so that I can eat is an animal dying so that I can eat and ending up in the trash), but I decided instead to feed it to the guy, whose name I discovered was Wayne. I heated it up, fixed Wayne a to-go box, poured him some soda, and sent him on his way when he finished. Of course I paid him as well.

I don’t know if I get credit for that or not. I don’t think feeding the poor your left-overs is particularly generous, but it was something I was going to eat myself. Does giving someone something that you don’t want count as charity? I’ll let the philosophers decide.

I ate my own supper and sat down with the best of intentions to finish the state taxes, but found I had pulled the wrong forms offline. I wanted the EZ, and had the regular 1040, so I put that aside and just vegged out on RuPaul’s Drag Race, my latest semi-addiction and excuse for not getting squat done. Eventually I put the towels in the dryer and toddled off to bed. I have a long day tomorrow.

A post in which I have supper with the folks

Today was better. Not massively better – I still had to work – but I got through it with only the usual number of murderous impulses, instead of the usual tenfold.

I had supper out with Dick and Eve tonight, as is pretty usual for Tuesdays. We went to Don Pablo’s, a place I’ve never particularly cared for, but I’ve been a couple of times lately and it’s OK. The other alternative was a place near their house that is incredibly noisy inside. Ugh. I understand the restaurant trend to concrete floors. They’re durable, easy to clean, etc, but for God’s sake put a rug down, or a plant, or something to muffle the noise. It’s like eating in a freakin airport or something OK?

We went back to the house after supper and I visited for a while. I told them about my living room. They really love stories where I end up looking silly, so they enjoyed that.

It was a nice evening.

A post in which I re-load the room

It was a nerve-shredding day. Not only was it month-end, but there are apparently gremlins in the works in the area where I sit now, and they were having a field day today. Of course, just when I am the busiest. The up-side of having 8,000,000 simultaneous reports due is that if the system for one is screwing up, you can just move to another. Additionally, since I had all those new clients last week, there were a slew of phone calls to make.

The painting was completed about 2pm. James sent me a text before they left.

Despite the rotten day I was excited to get home, even though I had to clean. When I walked in, I put my stuff down and just stood for a moment savoring how gorgeous and different it looked. I swept and mopped the living room floor, put the blinds back up, and brought the furniture back in. Later on I turned the lamps on.

This was my beautiful perfect color, which I had spent an inordinate amount of time deciding on, and then gone to get a paint chip to live with for a year (well.. not really on purpose for that long) to make sure it was perfect. This was the perfect shade between melon and terra cotta. And in the lamplight, it was screaming, Crayola Clemson orange. I swear I heard “Hold That Tiger” in my head. The walls almost seemed to glow. I could hear a low throbbing sound, as if the color was pulsating slowly. I turned on the TV and tried to talk myself down a bit. I really love it in the daytime. I wanted something dramatically different, and this is. It will be better when all my pictures are back up.

I’ll get used to it. I think it will be fine when I get the pictures back up. I’ve been advised not to do so for a week to allow the paint to cure a bit. Can’t have vapor-lock.

A post in which I show off my new living room color!! WOOO HOO!!!

Today, of course, was very busy.

Jeff, James, and Amanda showed up around 9, and got to work. I was very busy making coffee, trying to keep the kitchen straight, making lunches, and doing a few little house things. It was a pleasant cacophony of a house full of friends getting things done. We mixed the paint for the ceiling by eye on the porch to start.
I wanted to recycle an old Christopher Lowell trick. We mixed a bit of the wall paint into the ceiling paint; just enough to make it a very, very pale reflection of the walls. What I wanted was for it to change the color of the light in there. When they started putting the Georgia Queen up it looked very pink next to the purple walls. I was calling the color ‘palest, palest baby’s breath of shrimp’, but Amanda hit the nail on the head and named the color Georgia Queen. That was about perfect.

When they started priming the walls, I was surprised to see that that primer was dark gray – almost as gray as the purple. Jeff explained to me that the Sherwin-Williams man had explained to them that to cover such a dark color they would have to use a dark primer. We covered the bedroom with no such affectations, but I wasn’t going to argue with a professional.

The primer coat was finished shortly before I left for lunch. Jeff refused to put a lick of the color on the walls until I left the house, so they could do a ‘reveal’ later. I was happy enough to comply.

Lunch went well. Ava was in a good mood, and Eve had laid a very nice table in the dining room. Lisa’s family had left right from church, so everyone was more dressed up than I was, but oh well. We ate and visited for a while. Lisa was telling us about her recent problems with Ava’s separation anxiety now that she’s in pre-school; and of her own job search, which is proving to be arduous.

I was as patient as I could possibly be, and of course I enjoyed seeing Ava and Cole (despite the fact that he spent most of the visit comatose in the floor, covered by a blanket to the top of his head – we couldn’t even see him), but I was dying to get home to see what was going on.

After three hours I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I excused myself and scrambled home, where painting was still in progress. They were beginning the fifth coat of paint on the walls when I got there. The coverage over that dark gray primer had been a problem. Paint people at the store always act like you’re trying to cross the Sierras on foot or something if you use a dark color, but if you just use primer its fine. The tinted primer is fantastic, but I think the guys got some bad advice from that SW guy.

Anyway, they went on painting, and the fifth coat did the trick. The color came true, and was gorgeous. We had planned to have people to my place tonight for Sunday supper, but Russ and Billy were of course late getting back from Savannah and begged off. Morgan and Matthew cancelled too, so it was just the four of us.

I went and picked up some Chinese food for everyone, and we ate on the porch. It was a gorgeous night. They started on the trim, but it was getting late, and they had been at it all day. Eventually, James called it a day, and said they would have to finish tomorrow, which was pretty much what I had figured.

A post in which we go to see Granny

Today was the day of the immediate family viewing, but that wasn’t until 1pm. In the meantime, I had missions.

I made breakfast, giving the kitchen bare minimum of a going over in the process and removing the mouse poop from counters and such. I made the bed in the front room for Lisa and Carl, and then I headed out.

I had shoes to buy today. Apparently during my marvelous adult competency when I was getting ready to go I forgot to pack my dress shoes for the funeral. I had seen a couple of shoe places near town, one of which ended up having a surprising selection of exactly what I wanted for a very fair price. The clerk who checked me out was very kind.

I also made an unusual foray through Wal-Mart, where I seldom ever shop. Although they’ve already put them away at home, the ones here still had sweatpants out, and I replaced my long worn and patched single pair today. It just seemed like the time for some reason.

I went to Granny’s house and had a sandwich with Mom before we went to the funeral home.

Viewing Granny’s body today was oddly not upsetting to me. It’s hard to explain. She looked good enough; she just looked empty. It was so obvious to me that she wasn’t in there anymore. Plus it was odd because of what was going on. My Great Aunt Kathleen (Granny’s sister) was there, and was determined that all would be done properly. Granny looked odd because her mouth was too wide. “That happens to them,” Kathleen said, with the air of a veteran of many funerals. “You can just have them patch the corners of the mouth a little, and they look better.” After she related this several times to several people, her request was dutifully reported to the mortuary, and a man with a pot of clay and some makeup to make the change was dutifully dispatched.

Well she did look better, but they only fixed the side that faced out. If you looked from the feet up, her mouth looked strangely lop-sided. I don’t know if it was still denial on my part, or that this made it patently obvious how useless what they were doing was, or if I’m just messed up; but it would have been funny if this had been on TV or something. As it was, it was just rather surreal. I wasn’t laughing or anything, but it was just so obvious to me that my Granny was no part of any of this.

Granny hadn’t been to church in years, so she had no minister. Kathleen brought hers. He was a nice-looking man (again, weirdness – how could I be thinking about this now?). He talked to us about scripture we wanted read, and asked for anecdotes about Granny, which we supplied. Before long the family stories got started and I think he got more than he bargained for. And then it was done, and we left. Mom cried a little while we were there. She said Granny looked so much better than when she was in the hospital, and she did. That’s supposed to be part of the grieving process I have read. It helps some people to see the person clean and dressed and seen to, and I can understand that. But I was strangely rather numb through the whole thing.

When we got back to the house the family started coming in. The other grandkids were arriving with their kids and people were coming through to visit the family. There weren’t that many visitors. Granny and Poppy had outlived most of their friends and family. But there was one key visitor.

I’m not sure what obscure relation Stephanie is to me, but she is a bit off. She doesn’t seem to have the same kinds of filters other people have. And her marriage has been rather troubled of late. Her apparently long-suffering husband had been looking after her for years when he had a stroke. The stroke has apparently changed him, and their relationship became much more volatile. During an especially volatile argument at their house last week, he apparently threatened to kill her. She locked him out of the house. He proceeded to get the gun out of the car (we’re in the mountains here) and shot her through the door. He hit her in the leg, but family shootings are rare, he was still in jail, and this was pretty fresh. There had been almost as much talk about Stephanie as there had been about Granny. We’d had the second-hand blow-by-blow from her step-mother the day before.

Stephanie showed up in person today, and gave us the first-hand. In excruciating detail. For about an hour and a half. And so much more. She was a very sweet woman, but I don’t think she breathed in more than twice the whole time she was here. Eventually, every man in the house beat a retreat for the porch – including me. My cousin Chris, who is with the sheriff’s office, said “I think he was aiming for her mouth. I can shoot better than that.” Which pretty much capped it all.

Lisa and co. arrived later. We stayed and visited with the family, but not too late. We had a baby who had to get to bed sometime, and decisions to make about who slept where. We got back to Grandma’s house and Lisa’s family started their way to bed. Frankly, I was mostly worn out anyway, and they finished the job. I went on to bed.

A post in which I make a visit

This morning, of course, there were things to do.

The house looked a little worse in the light. I knew Lisa would have a fit if she saw it the way it was, so I swept out some of the dead bugs in the floor, made my bed, and tried to make it look a bit more presentable. Then I cleaned out the bathroom a bit and got ready for the day. By the time I had done all that it was seriously time for some breakfast.

I stopped at a little diner called the Coffee House, where kind young women brought me Waffle-House-esque food. I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few groceries for the house so there was something there to eat. I figured Lisa would have enough on her hands. Travelling with my three-year-old niece is a bit like moving Hannibal’s army across the Alps.

That done, the next thing was to go see Grandma. She and Granny were in the same nursing home. Since Grandma gets around pretty well in her chair and is usually on top of everything, she knew all that had happened, knew the family would be coming in, and would be waiting for me. I hate to make her wait, but she’s up and ready to roll (literally) at about 6am, and I just can’t keep up with that.

I found her at Bingo and joined her. We chatted a bit as she played a couple of rounds. The woman on the other side of me wanted help with her card though, and began to get a bit insistent. Grandma wasn’t too fond of that. She likes for my focus to be on her. So eventually she decided she had already won twice, and that we should just go back to her room, which we did. Grandma is very hard of hearing, but doesn’t always ask for her hearing aid. She was very proud of how well she was doing without it today, but in the interest of a better visit I called the nurse and got it for her.

I hardly ever bring Grandma anything. She fusses that cut flowers are wasteful, and that she can’t keep them because the nurses kill them with cold water. My dad and uncle keep her well-stocked with anything she needs, and anything they can think of that she might want, and of course she needs less now in the way of stuff than she used to. She catches me up on the latest tribulations with her roommate, who is apparently wearing her socks. She’s pretty unhappy about that, but overall, she is content enough.

At 90 now, she’s still impatient with being in a wheelchair, and on every visit tells me again that her biggest prayer is to get up and walk again. It’s good that she is still herself, and that she knows me and we can visit, but there are only so many things I can tell her about my life. Many parts of it would upset her, and they’re things she doesn’t need to know. But we still know each other, and we still can feel the bond between us. It is at once comforting and disturbing. She’s so trapped in an increasingly painful and non-functioning body. I tell her the things I can, and the things I can get her to hear, in a fairly short amount of time. She doesn’t want me to go, I can tell, and she tries to think up other things to talk to me about. I like it best when she tells me stories about her life and things she did when she was younger, but she doesn’t do that today. Today she’s anchored in the day, and the goings on, and seeing my mother and her sisters coming and going when Granny passed. Eventually, I walk beside her as she heads in to lunch, talking a bit on my way out. I give her some hugs and kisses in the hall. She tells me she won’t follow me to the door because “It upsets your daddy when I do that.”

When I get back to Granny’s they aren’t back from the funeral home yet. They were making the arrangements today. I lean the seat back in the car and doze for a bit, glad enough to have a moment to myself, but before long they’re back. Lunch is on the agenda, and we head out to another little local watering hole to eat. I’m glad not to go to a chain. As we walk in, we can see a display of locally home-made cakes and pies. The coconut cake was really good.

We went back to the house for planning, and because people would be coming in. Granny’s sister-in-law brought in one of her famous homemade strawberry cakes (which I adore, and she knows it), and visited. But I was feeling bad. My Epstein-Barr was acting up and I felt worse and worse. Eventually I had to excuse myself. I went upstairs, found an as-yet unoccupied bedroom and lay down for a while.

When I woke I felt better, but felt guilty for abandoning Mom to an afternoon of receiving. I was supposed to be here to support her, but thus far all I’ve done is eat meals with her. I apologized, and rand to Grandma’s house for a quick refresher and a change of shirts before supper.

Supper tonight was more intimate. Mom is doing better. There is no way to prepare for your mother dying, but she had a little distance from it at this point, and was getting used to it. Aunt Donna had run home for the night, so it was just my mother’s older sister and her husband tonight. We went to Applebee’s and had a nice meal and talked more about more current things. Afterwards it was back to Grandma’s by myself, but it was OK. I switched some light bulbs out and go the fixture in the bedroom working (I forgot to buy light bulbs), and try to read for a while. Tomorrow there is stuff to do. Again.

A post in which I head for home

However I tried not to think about it, obviously life went on. Or stopped rather. Granny died about 11:30 this morning. I had known this was happening. When Lisa called me, she told me that Mom told her not to come up yet. Lisa was waiting for Mom to tell her when to come, and for plans to be made, etc. I thought about that, but then just thought if not now when? I decided to leave. I just compartmentalized and went on. I knew I had to get the weekly reports put together before I left, and I did.

I went through the motions of getting out of town mechanically, kind of watching myself from a distance and marveling at the competence of this stranger, whoever the hell he was, and a wondering a bit about how he could be so callous when someone had just died. Sometimes I'm surprised to find myself an adult. But that’s what you do. You cope, and you go on. The world doesn’t stop turning. I didn’t even call Mom. I just headed that way. I ran in to a huge traffic jam at the state border, and ended up sitting there, barely creeping, for over an hour and a half. Eventually I did text Mom so she wouldn’t worry. She just sent back “OK”. She knew I would be on the way. I called Lisa too, so she wouldn’t think I was sneaking off up there without telling her. She has the kids and stuff so I’m a bit more mobile. She was fine. Rod is sick, so Mom was up there by herself, and she said she was glad I was going on.

When I got there, they were at the house waiting for my Aunt Donna, the youngest, to arrive. I rarely see my aunts and their husbands, so we visited and caught up a bit. I was the only one of the grandchildren there. We went on to Ruby Tuesday’s for supper. We visited and talked at Granny’s house until late, my mother and her sisters teasing each other the way sisters do.

When it was time for bed I went on to Grandma’s house. I had called Dad earlier today and he had my Uncle Chris open the house for us. No one has lived there since Grandma went to the nursing home. The house didn’t do much to lift my spirits, having sat empty long enough to start to get scruffy. There has apparently been a serious mouse problem because there’s poop in everything. As far as it is out in the country it’s almost impossible to keep the mice down.

On the one hand, it’s a comforting place to be. My grandparents lived there from the time I was born. I helped my grandfather build the fireplace in the den, carrying the bricks into the house for him one by one, the brown knit work gloves huge on my child’s hands. I stayed here with them one summer, just before I started to become a man, my grandmother making ham and eggs for my breakfast. I stuffed myself on her home-grown green beans (my favorite) until I got a stomach ache, and taped paper airplanes to the ceiling of the bedroom at the front of the house. I went to sleep with the windows open, the attic fan pulling the soft night air into the house to the protest of screaming cicadas. When I was a teen-ager I drove up to visit. A trip to Grandma's was the first I ever made on my own. I was so proud to get there with (almost) no directions. The summer of my junior year, I painted the eaves, windows, and doors for her. She insisted on paying me $100. I know every nook and cranny.

It makes me sad to see it as it is now; kind of grungy and neglected, like a once-cherished teddy bear it is about time to discard. It smells musty. All three of the light bulbs in the bedroom fixture were burnt out. But there were clean sheets there my uncle left for me. I plugged in a lamp, made my grandmother’s small bed, and turned in. I put my feet down between the end of the mattress and the footboard and went to sleep in the perfectly quiet early spring night.

A post in which I get bad news

It was a reasonably nice day at work today. As good as Mondays ever are, at any rate. I stopped on the grocery store on the way home to pick up a few things. While I was there, Mom called.

They called the family in on Granny Brown, and she was on the way up home. Granny has been in hospice for over a month now, but things are apparently turning to the worst. Mom just wanted me to know what was going on. For some reason, I went home and frantically made lunches anyway. I guess it’s a denial thing. Southern people are really good at that.

So I made a huge mess, cleaned it all up, and went to bed. I also called Scott, who didn’t answer the phone. I left him a message.

A post in which it is a nice Sunday*

Well as if I didn’t get enough rest yesterday, I planned to spend today as a rest day. My last couple of weekends have been action-packed. A rest day just wasn’t in the cards though. Russ set up a brunch for this morning for us with Scott, since he was staying over last night. That was great. I got the critter-call about 9:30am (which is breakfast in my book, thank you very much), but it turned out that it was a good thing Russ called early. When I got to the house I went to wake up Scott, one thing led to another, and the virtue I had built up last night was wiped away in the blink of an eye.

We did go out to breakfast, and had a good appetite. Breakfast was good, but surprisingly expensive. We went to the Marriott off of Pelham. I had been there before with Dad, and was surprised at the small crowd. That little mystery was solved today. So points for the food, and points for it not being a mad-house (there are a surprisingly small number of breakfast places in Greenville, which always makes it a bit of a crush), but $15 a plate is a bit pricey to me for breakkies. I used to pay it gladly at Johann's (God rest his soul), but that man turned out food that would make angels weep it was so good. Then again, he had cooked for the crowned heads of Europe. Deservedly. And lucky them. It's a sad story. But I digress.

So Scott went on home (he gave me his phone # - yay), and I tried not to ruminate too much on the fact that he just lost his job last week. After 10 years at the same place though, and he’s only 42. Besides, hello, he hasn’t asked for me to marry him or anything. At that point I got a call from my old friend Michael. I had at long last decided to give him the Ethan-Allen wingbacks which have graced my living room lo these many years. They have been good chairs, and still look good, but a) I have a man chair now and their crowdin' me; b) I’ve been a bit in conflict over having two large pieces of leather furniture for a while now; plus c) I promised him the chairs in exchange for his letting me use an air conditioner he had for my apartment on Earle St. I was very poor at the time, and could never have bought my own, so this was a great boon. It’s also been so long ago that when I called him, he quipped “What, did you die?” So I guess it was, indeed, about time.

I ran home, straightened up the house a tiny bit, and prepared to receive visitors. I was hoping that Michael would sit down and visit for a bit. It’s been a while since I saw him and I wanted to catch up a little. Fortunately he arrived with both the time, and a very young man with him. We talked, visited, re-lived the good ole days, and basically bored the stuffing out of that guy until it was time we both got moving. They loaded the chairs, along with a few other things that needed new homes, and went on. I would so much rather give things away to friends than just dump them out at the Salvation Army. I’m a bit sentimental about my things, as I guess most people are.

By the time our visit/gab session/furniture moving was done, it was time to meet Russ and Billy for dinner. Tonight, unfortunately, the choice was Sakura. I’ve eaten there before, and was pretty much underwhelmed. For some reason all the sushi places close on Sunday, perhaps because of the strong Southern tradition of Sunday dinners being for family. That’s my theory anyway. Rarely does granny want to belly up to the sushi bar. But I digress. Again. As I say, Russ and Billy (and a couple of other people) had tried to steer me back in there, but I had been mostly silently (a shock, I know) but strenuously steering the other way. But Russ and Billy had a bee in their bonnets, and so I decided just to get this out of the way. Which Billy was a bit nonplussed about when I announced that at the table. I knew they wouldn’t be dissuaded, however advisedly. The food was actually worse than the last time I was there. I had an oyster roll that had actual chips of oyster shell in it. I just picked around them. I had a tuna roll in which the tuna had been through some nastification process to make it like a slimy spread. Yeah. As Sophia Petrillo says “When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.” I just soldiered on. By the end of the meal, they saw my point. So that’s done. I went back to the house and visited for a while, but it’s a school night, and I had to woogle off home to bed.

A post in which it is the bear dinner

I was pretty laaaaazy today. I had intended to get up, re-claim that last room from the wiring, do laundry, and general act like a super-hero, but it didn’t happen. I mostly slept. I’ve been feeling pretty run down for the last week or so. I’m afraid the Epstein-Barr is acting up again.

The bear dinner was Saturday night, and I was looking forward to it. Brian was coming, and I like him. Also there was the possibility that Scott might be coming down from Asheville – and possibly I got the impression that he might be coming down to see me.

We went to The Olympian, which has been a great restaurant here for years. I used to eat there a lot more than I do now, partly because their chicken Yianni is one of the best things I have eaten in my life. It was a great temptation when I first went veg. The sauce is the best part, and only has a little chicken broth in it, but I hate going in and making a big production out of ordering something special, so I very rarely eat it any more. No one got it tonight, despite my enthusiastic endorsement. Dammit.

Scott did come to the dinner. He was nice. And he wasn’t with the guy he had been with at the dinner the week before. Turns out he and that guy are just buds. I hope. Well that’s what he said anyway. You never really know at first, ya know?

We went back to the house for drinks and hanging out after supper. It was just the four of us, so it was pretty cozy. Russ wanted to use his new deck so badly, and it is so pretty, but it was so cold we didn’t end up spending much time out there. Of course we have the whole summer long before us, and hopefully many more.

I was a very good boy, kissed Scott, and went home rather to Russ’s surprise. He just seemed to assume that I would be staying over, and of course I wanted to. But it’s so hard at first for me now. I’m a lot less confident in some ways than I used to be.

A post in which I see Terry and Stacy

I had looked forward to seeing Terry and Stacy since Terry called me about it. I scampered home after work and ran over the living room and straightened up a bit. Then it was off to the restaurant to meet them.

I got there early, and since I was to meet them at 7:18:30 I went next door to Purple Haze. I went in to kill time more than anything else. I don’t think that I look like a narc or anything, but every time I go in there the staff is so rude that I don’t want to buy anything from them. Today was no exception. The funny part was that Stacy and Terry had gone in there to kill time too and we ran into each other.

We ate at Pita House. I had forgotten how good the food was – they make the best hummus I’ve ever eaten. It’s better than mine, even when I cook my own chick peas. Their falafel must be tasted to be believed - it is scrumptious. But Pita House has now been discovered. It was packed out with noisy white suburban people. It used to be only cool people that went in there, but no more. I hate the bustle of waiting in line and ordering at the counter before you could sit down almost as much as I love the food. Of course since this was a social occasion I wasn’t going to leave. I sucked it up.

After ordering, we snagged one of the last tables and Terry and I started talking. Stacy occasionally weighed in as well, but since he isn’t really a talker it’s hard to get a word in edgewise when the three of us are together. It was good to see Stacy again – it had been years. When I pulled up his Facebook profile I was quite surprised, never having seen him with short hair before, but he’s apparently growing it back out, and had it at a midi length that was quite flattering.

After supper I went over to the deli portion of the place to get some candy and some olives. They have incredible olives that you dip in bulk, and for a place that carries pitted Kalamatas (which are sinfully indulgent), they’re pretty cheap. Unfortunately, the counter they put in the deli section wasn’t manned tonight (really? on Friday night??) so I had to wait through the whole line of customers to pay for my stuff at the counter. Aggravating. They really need to organize.

We went back to the house and settled into the living room for a visit. It was a beautiful cool spring evening, and I had the windows open. Evening lighting is most flattering for the living room, and the house looked pretty good. I was most happy to have them there.

We talked and visited for a while. I had some residual bad Juju from an old buddy that used to come by, and they cleansed that out of the house for me, which I appreciated. Stacy was standing behind me with her hands on my shoulders as part of that, and all I could think about was the new fat packets I had found in my shoulders when I had the flu. His hands were right on them… It took everything I had to push that thought out of my head and concentrate on what was going on. Funny, just when you think your body has found all the possible places to store fat, it betrays you in some new way.

My only regret about the evening was that they pooped out on me about 10:30. I was ready to yak all night. But they left. I cleaned up the glasses and stuff, watched a little telly, and reflected that an early night wouldn’t do me any harm.

A post in which I try to go to choir practice

I tried to go join the men's chorus today, but it just didn't seem to be meant. I rushed home after work, whipped up a quick supper, and off I went. I smelled like a big ole fried tater, but I figured that was an aphrodisiac for bears anyway. The rehearsal was on Pelham Road, where I have been working for about 15 years now, but I'd never heard of the place, so just to be careful, I had my GPS. I also called my friend D'relda, who's already been going.

There was no email today. I called to check in with D'relda on whether or not there was practice today. He informed me that a) he didn't know; and b) he has quit. One of the big attractive things about this was that I would be able to hang out with D'relda, so I was disappointed. But off I went anyway. I'm usually only truly happy when I'm singing somewhere.

The GPS took me unerringly to a vacant lot. After turning around twice and looking, I still hadn't found the place. I was frustrated. I called Russ to see what he was up to, since I was tired of looking and didn't know if there was practice tonight anyway. He was free, so I headed over there.

Of course as soon as I started over I found the place. I turned into the parking lot because there were a lot of people milling about, but they didn't look like gay choral singers to me. The weren't. I asked if there was practice going on, but the girl I asked didn't know anything about it. Thoroughly frustrated at this point, I just left.

I went to Russ and Billy's and spent the evening with them. Russ was re-stuffing cushions for the deck, so I helped do that. Then we just reclined on the fabulous new deck and visited for a bit. It was a little nipply though, and I had worn shorts because it was so pretty and I just couldn't wait any more. We watched a program about extreme cocktails with Billy, and then I went home and went to bed.

The only thing wrong with this evening was that it wasn't Friday!

A post in which I do a bit of correspondence

I nailed my broccoli. It was delicious. I'm so glad I was able to re-create that. I can't always.

Emailing the Kindred really cleared my thoughts about the Granny situation. I feel like I've wimped out on Mom. Lori sent me an email about it too. I got in touch with Mom today and set up to go with her the next Wilkesboro weekend. It's the right thing to do, and I feel a bit better about that situation. Granny had kind of said her goodbye to me the last time I went up, but bless her she's just hanging on in misery. I hate this for her, and I hate what it's doing to Mom and my aunts.

After work tonight I didn’t feel quite like going straight home. The housework that needs doing reproaches me at the house right now, and I’m usually too wiped out at the end of the day to do any housework when I get home.

I went to Wal-Mart instead – yuck. I rarely do that, but I had a specific reason for going today. So I went and got that done, and then headed home for stage 2 of the plan.

I talked to Terry today for the first time since Christmas. He’s passed boards, rented a house, and makes every appearance of settling down for a bit, which would be nice for those of us who like to see him sometimes. I told him about the girl who came to the house looking for him while I was sick. He’s going to call her. He also has talked to Stacy, a friend from a long time ago, with whom I’ve lost touch. He wants us all to get together for supper on Friday night. I agreed. I called dana and explained that I wouldn’t see them Friday. I’m looking forward to seeing Stacy. It’s been a long time.

I missed four birthdays of people I care about during mid-February to early March. That was when the wiring thing was going on, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t have sent a card or something. I was actually feeling pretty guilt-ridden about it, so instead of continuing to whine (always a seductive option) I decided to do something about it. I picked up cards and a special ‘thank you’ gift for Helen. She made veggie meals for me the whole two weeks I stayed with Miss Kat and dana, and although she was grudging about doing it (“I’m not a damn vegetarian, I’m an omnivore. I can’t cook this shit.” she informed me one evening) I know she did it because she likes me. dana told me she hadn’t cooked that much in months before I came to stay. She’s a curmudgeonly old thing, but she has a heart of gold. She apparently just lives in fear that someone will find that out.

Anyway, I got home and caught up on correspondence. I even did a small load of laundry for good measure. The green room is the last one not yet cleaned post-wiring. I’m doing tiny bits at a time, but that’s better than nothing right? That’s what I’m telling myself.

A post in which I do some catching up

Dick and Eve are still in New Orleans, unexpectedly. Although Dad hates The Big Easy, there was apparently some kind of saint celebration the Catholic Church was doing, and he wanted to go to that. I’m glad they’re getting away for a bit and that they’re both well enough to go right now.

That left me with a Tuesday evening free, which I feel I put to good use. I sent out a long-overdue update email to the Kindred. I’m supposed to send one once a month, but I haven’t done one since my induction ceremony. Bad, naughty, wicked Steve. It was good to get that done.

We’re also pregnant. Marty and Petal have finally started their pledge. They’ve known everyone in the group longer than I have, and indeed when I sent my petition I mentioned them because I thought they were members. I was quite surprised when I was told otherwise. At any rate, this is long overdue, and I’m glad they have finally reached out for official status. I remember the lovely welcome email that Lynn sent me when I joined, and wanted to make Marty and Petal feel just as welcome, so I sent them my own little welcome tonight.

Almost too late, I remembered that I hadn’t cooked my veggies to take for lunch the rest of the week. I concocted a lovely potato/broccoli soup flavored with shaved garlic, lemon, and pepper when I was sick. I was wondering if I could replicate the flavor combo, so I gave it a shot tonight.

It felt good to get some things done that long needed doing.

A bit of a catch-up post

OK folks. I've been away for far too long.

Well here I am, finally at my computer, surrounded by broken good intentions.

The holiday parties went up through the middle of January this year. Competition for December weekends has become so fierce that some folks just gave up. That means that December (or the Holiday Season), always a gamut to run, is now a longer gamut. I love my friends, and I'm very lucky to have so many invitations; but man, does it take a toll after a while.

When things finally settled down a bit I decided to take care of something long overdue - I had my 90+year old house re-wired. dana did it for me, and did a fantastic job, but it was a bit more of an ordeal than either of us realized it would be. What we thought would take a couple of days ended up taking three weeks.

Two of those weeks I stayed with Miss Kat and dana - who were wonderfully hospitable. They treated me better than family - they treated me like family with money. The last week I spend at Russ and Billy's house, and they too were wonderfully welcoming and did their best to make me feel at home. I just wasn't. I'm very home and hearth oriented. I'm apparently the guy that breaks first if you go to prison - you know those movies.

Around the end of this, my Granny Brown was put into hospice. My Granny has been much on my mind of late. I was fortunate to be raised around wonderful, formidable women, of whom Granny Brown was one. To watch this strong, out-spoken spitfire with the light leaving her eyes is awful. She's dying by inches. My mother is going up every third week to stay the weekend with her. Sometimes she knows Mama and sometimes she doesn't. I've been up there with her, and it's actually pretty bad. Bad enough that I haven't been back since January. I feel like I'm not giving my mom the support she needs. I'm usually pretty strong about doing what needs to be done, but I have wimped out here.

Additionally, pretty much half the people I know were apparently born during February or early March. I've missed so many birthdays I'm not even sure who all to send cards to at this point.

When I got back into the house I got the flu. I haven't been that sick since I was a little child. Thank God for dana, who went to the grocery store for me. After three weeks away, there just wasn't anything here to eat. She wouldn't let me pay for the food, which I feel bad about since she risked pestilence and all. So I was sick for five days.

So I'm back in the house now, and it is wonderful. I love the fact that people I love have done so much in my house. My dad built the kitchen. Friends and loved ones have painted. Now when I come in in the evening and hit the switch (dana hot-wired some plugs for me) it feels like dana is welcoming me home. That's a good feeling. I'm getting quite sentimental in my old age.

Russ and Billy antd I went to Asheville last Saturday, which was lovely. We got to go to The Chocolate Lounge, where I got another liquid truffle, which is one of my latest reasons to keep on going. They are really, REALLY fabulous. We also had dinner out with the local bear group, which was fun, but potential husbands were not to be found.

Dating is something I look up in the dictionary these days.

So, just when I think life may slow down a bit, it fails to do so. But I guess that's the way it goes. I'm sorry if this sounds like a "poor little steve" post.

A post in which I stop and think

I drug into work, sleepy this morning as usual for a Monday. I took some Ibuprofen, but they really don’t do shit for sleepy.

We found out mid-morning that the husband of one of the women who works here was killed in a car accident this morning. They have three kids, fortunately not little kids, but still. It makes you stop and think about what is really important. I can’t imagine how you recover from that. You get up, get ready, go to work, and then find out two hours later that your spouse, your life partner, the father of your children is gone. Just like that. Geez. I feel so bad for her, and I feel bad that there really isn’t a damn thing I can do to help her.

A post in which I make the kitchen safe for democracy

Today I planned, first and foremost, to scrub my nasty kitchen floor. But getting motivated was a different story. I felt kinda drug out and lazy. I made some breakfast and lay down for a nap that it soon became apparent wasn’t happening. Then I realized the time had changed last night and I had lost an hour. That finally motivated me to haul my carcass off the couch.

I did get the floor scrubbed, and hooray for me. There’s still more that needs doing. The green room hasn’t yet been made safe for democracy. But I felt much better once the kitchen floor was at long last clean. It was a gorgeous spring day, and I opened the windows while I cleaned to start the house airing out.

I was just trying to decide if I had time to do more work when I had a call from Amanda. She, Jeff, and James had finished with painting chores and were getting cleaned up to head to Russ and Billy’s house. So that answered that question.

We grilled out tonight. The food was gorgeous except for the fingerling potatoes I burned. I was in charge of grilling them, but sat down to have a smoke and forgot about them. Oh well, it happens. I don’t have a lot of grilling experience either.

It was good to see everyone and spend some time together. Corbin was there, but Morgan and Andrew were not. I wore shorts for the first time this year today. It wasn’t quite warm enough for them in the evening, but I couldn’t wait any longer.

I stayed too late at Russ and Billy's, as usual.

A post in which I have supper in Asheville

I had a lot to do today!

I had planned more than I actually got done.

I got up, made breakfast, cleaned up, and loaded all the recycling in the car to haul it off. It had been piled in the kitchen for the last two weeks. Chance drinks a 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper every day! So they had built up a bit. But I was glad they recycled while they were in the house.
After finishing that I headed to Russ’s shop for my appointment. I missed last week and I was starting to resemble Lyle Lovett, so it was past time. While Russ was cutting my hair, he informed me that I was to be at their house at 1pm (!!) to go to Asheville. That was far earlier than I expected, but as we all know by now, Russ is a force of nature.

I headed out and had the oil changed in my car. It needed the tires rotated too, so I was there for over an hour. I just had to give up on the nap I wanted today. I went home, got ready, and headed to Russ and Billy’s house. Russ wasn’t home yet (despite that it was 1:30 by the time I could get there), but he was in shortly after and we left for NC.

It was a beautiful day. It’s not quite late enough in the year for the trees to be pretty, but it is always a lovely drive up the mountain.

Russ had never been to Asheville to just hang out before. We went to The Chocolate Lounge (where I had another of those incredible liquid truffles they make), and nosed around in little shops and things. I was kind of hoping I would find some hand-thrown pottery mugs that I just couldn’t live without, but it didn’t happen. There are so many artists in Asheville, and so many pretty things, but I didn’t fall in love today.

Speaking of which.

There’s a bear group in Asheville, and we drove up to horn in on their dinner night. Russ and Billy had really built up the restaurant where the dinner was as having superlative food, and I was thinking it was just possible I might meet someone new.

Well apparently I should have been more specific. I did meet some new people, but there were maybe two guys there under 50. They were together. The food, though quite competent, was frankly nothing I would write home about either. It was fun. The guys were nice, and we had a good time. I had perhaps set my expectations a little too high.

By the time we got back down the mountain, we were all three bushed. Russ and I had a cigarette, and then I went home to bed. No time spent in the company of friends is ever wasted.

A post in which I am grateful it is Friday

Work today was actually a bit quiet. It’s been such a zoo that it was kind of hard to get used to. They’re gearing the department up for the big move upstairs. Terry moved today. I’ll miss her. I’ll be sitting with another department when I move up stairs. Not particularly looking forward to that, but it will be fine.

I spent some time shopping for outlets online today. Again, brass is out, so that makes it more difficult for me. I found one that I really liked, that would go in the house, and that came in the special config I need to go beside the front door. It was $90. I found a website with fabulous art deco reproductions, but they are not cheap either. The search continues.

I went to Miss Kat and dana’s tonight! Yay! It was so good to see them in the regular way. So nice to be kind of back in the old routine. I say I hate it, but I sure do miss it when it’s gone. Of course, going to Miss Kat and dana’s house on Fridays is the fun part of the routine…

A post in which I come back from the mountains

Dinner with the gang on Sunday.

A post in which I get a Man Chair

The cats reclining in my Man Chair - this was where I found them when I got home.

A post in which there is much to do

It's going to be a busy week. Tonight when I got home from work, I put in some wash, and then moved furniture. dana and I are going to get the chair tomorrow and I'm not going to ask her to do more than she's doing. The house is all ready to drop the chair in the living room, but I hate where my wingbacks are now. I may just have to get rid of them. They are promised to my friend Michael if he still wants them...

A post in which things get a little back to normal

Today at work wasn't half so bad. I got caught up on calls and didn't feel quite so much like I'm drowning.

I checked in with dana to be sure that it was OK for me to visit tonight. I promised to eat a big supper, and I did. I indulged my love of Long John Silver's. I had three fish tacos tonight, and fries. The root beer was flat again, but the people that work there are so nice that I just can't complain.

It was lovely to see Miss Kat and dana, as always. We had a great visit, and I was conscious the whole time.

A post in which it is back to work

I went in today. The roads weren't too terribly bad.

I got into find that my boss had been in during all the snow days. The man is a Nazi.

I put in a full day, and finally finished month end. Only by the middle of the month.

Eve called to invite me to dinner out with her and Dad tonight. Ordinarily I wouldn't have dreamed of going anywhere but straight home, but it had been a pretty exhausting day, and I haven't seen them much through the holidays. What the hell. I went, and was glad I did. We had dinner at the new location of Portofino's. It was as good as ever, and they were slammed out the doors. Apparently the move was good for them.

After supper I went on home. The roads might get worse as it got later, plus I was wiped out.

A post in which I scare dana

Cabin fever set in today. I have watched about as much daytime TV I can stand. But the sun was out, and I had high hopes for thawing. There was a Living Single marathon on, and I somewhat reluctantly tuned in to watch.

There wasn't a lot of food in the house. I've been living mostly on broccoli soup. I was thrilled to hear that dana was out and about, and headed my way. I wanted company, and I can think of few people I would enjoy seeing as much.

She showed up and started shoveling my driveway! I suspect that she needed to get out as well - being snowed in with Miss Helen wouldn't exactly be a vacation for her. Plus dana needs to be doing stuff. She doesn't sit still that often. She was soon distracted though, as some dogs down the street started fighting. They were tied to a tree together so neither of them could get away. She waited for a few minutes, but the owner didn't come out of the house to do anything about it. dana has a soft spot for animals, and she was HOT! She went down the block, broke up the dogs, and told the owner off. She was still agitated when she came in my house for a visit.

We sat back to spend a little time together. Unfortunately, I've been having problems with Epstein-Barr, and hadn't been eating properly. With the other stuff going on, I basically passed out on the sofa. I was only out for a minute or two, but dana was terrified. I came to with her slapping my face and calling my name. It was rather surreal.

She went out and got me a late lunch, a good ole fish sandwich with plenty o fat and protein. I ate it, and she sat with me for a bit until I could reassure her that I was OK.

After she left, I took a long nap, and woke up and talked to Miss Kat. She was worried about me too. After reassuring her also, I ate some soup and went on to bed.

A post in which it was another snow day

Well I was caught up on laundry today. I checked the weather, and it's not suppose to warm up a bit for a couple of days. It was freezing today.

I did have some fingerling potatoes that I picked up from Trader Joe's over the weekend so I made those. They were delicious, but man did they make a mess! I had to really scrub the roasting pan to get it clean - and it was enamel coated.

As it got later in the day, I checked the weather again - no change. I got out to walk my block to see if I could get out of the neighborhood. It was all I could do to walk to the corner, much less drive. It's not looking good for work tomorrow.

A post in which there is much snow

When I woke up this morning there was a LOT of snow on the ground. I couldn't stay in the house though, as is my usual policy during snow or ice. I left the car window down a bit last night. It was still snowing - light blowy snow that really didn't fall straight down. I had to go out and close the window. I figured snow was getting in, and I was right. I trudged through the ankle-deep white stuff and closed it.

On the one hand I had a vacation day scheduled so I didn't have to worry about calling in, but on the other hand it seemed like a big waste of a vacation day. I had also scheduled for dana to come help me pick up the recliner that Dad gave me. Obviously that wasn't going to happen.

I had broccoli in the freezer that I bought to make soup, so I put that in the crock pot to get working. I also had a bunch of laundry that had built up again, so I did wash.

It was a quiet day of daytime television. After all that has happened, it was kind of nice to spend some quiet time at the house. Everyone called to check on me, which was also sweet. Russ asked me to come over. That Russ. Of course it would have been great to get snowed in at their house, but since I was already snowed in at my house that kind of ruined that plan.

A post in which it is time for the last of the parties

I got up this morning to a text from Russ about going to the flea market. Of course I wanted to go. I got to the house in time to see the last of the revelers who had stayed over last night trickled out. After some coffee, a nosh on some party left-overs, and a re-cap of what happened last night after I left, we hit the road.

Marshall, John, and Aaron had come for the party and the weekend. We did the flea market and then went to breakfast at IHOP. I'm not supposed to eat there right now because the animal-rights people are on the outs with them. IHOP is the only major breakfast chain to refuse to use any percentage of humanely grown eggs - none at all. But I wasn't going to challenge the group agreement, so I went.

The new Trader Joe's opened a month or so ago, and John, as a cook, was keen to visit, so that was next on the list. They do have amazingly beautiful produce at very good prices. I hadn't been able to get in there for a good rummage becuause of all the people that always seem to be wandering around. I guess they buy stuff, but they usually just look like zombies. Some of the frozen things looked interesting, but since I wasn't going straight home I didn't get any of that. I did pick up some beautiful huge red pears for lunch next week and some fingerling potatoes.

When we got back to the house I was pretty wiped, but there was still the party tonight. I left them all vegged on the sofa, packed up a cooler of left-over Jello shooters from last night, and headed out. It was pretty cold. When I got to the house I just left them in the car.

I tried to lie down for a bit, but it wasn't like I could sleep in a hurry. After a bit, I gave up, got up, and cleaned up. The party had started about 3pm and it was about 5. I got there about 6. I was dragging. I really wished I hadn't RSVP'd. Of course etiquette forbids cancelling an accepted invitation except in the case of a sudden death or illness. I soldiered on. I knew I would have a good time once I got there.

Tonight was Danl'l and Jim's party. They have a drop-in every year, and it's always nice. They have moved it to January now because of the crush of parties, and it's a nice way to see folks I know and wind down the season. It was laid back and nice. Taking in the Jello shooters helped make up for being late. I missed Donnie, Kimbley, and Laura, but Karen and Billy were there. It was good to see them, as always. Although it got colder, I had dressed in layers. I ended up camped out on the porch with Nicole, Karen, and a cute guy named John. He gave me his number too. It was a very nice time, and Iwas glad I went. It wasn't a late night. First, it was Sunday night, and secondly there are rumors of snow moving in. I'm skeptical, but then I usually kind of pooh-pooh the snow madness that seems to infect anyone here at the least possibility. Still, it was a really nice evening, and I had a good time. I was glad I went.

I took the day off tomorrow anyway.

A post in which it is the bear holiday party*

Well it was the bear party tonight, but first I had cooking to do. I had promised Drew that I would make a savory mushroom baklava. It's my own recipe, and it's his favorite. The theme for the party this year was retro hors d'oeuvres, but since I had already promised Drew I pretty much disregarded. Even though I really don't like making the baklava. It's very labor intensive. But I got up and went to buy mushrooms anyway.

I fell into the manhunt vortex for a while though, and a buddy came by for a while. It had been a while since I had seen him.

After that I straightened up the house a bit, made the baklava, and had a bit of a lie down.

Eventually though, I popped the baklava in the oven and jumped in the shower. Russ and Billy were looking for me, and I didn't want to be late. Billy had been stuck for an idea of what to do, and so I made a suggestion. It was something I'd had at a wedding years ago: lunch ham spread with cream cheese, rolled around sweet pickel spears and sliced. Simple, but all these years late I can still remember how good they were. Billy made them! He also sent me a picture of them:

Billy's Party Dish

I got to the party and greeted everyone. Everyone was there to have a good time, and got along pretty well. There was a bit of drama with roaming husbands, but all the couples went home with the right one. I got many compliments on the baklava, which did turn out golden and beautiful, but which I thought was too greasy.

It was good to see everyone, but I think I'm just partied out. I just wasn't feeling it. I stuck to the more quiet areas of the party. I had a good time, but I didn't stay late late. Still it's always nice when the bears get together. I left as things started to get out of hand and let the hard-core folks take over.

A post in which I apologize

I haven't skipped any days since I started this blog. I'm going to now. The last two days were a nightmare, and today wasn't much better. I"m sparing you a two-day whine-fest. Trust me.

I'll summarize:

- Canada got pissy because they scheduled a meeting to discuss their presentation for before I would have the information to complete it, and then were unhappy that I couldn't get it to them before the meeting.

- Little Boots chimed in and added yet another slide to the ones I now produce Every. Fucking. Week. As he stepped out of his office to dictate his instructions, I just turned around in my chair, elbow deep in papers. "Alan, PLEASE!" I said. He told me I didn't have to do it this week. What a prince.

- I spent two hours this afternoon trying to chase down numbers for Canada, trying to finish their stuff early, battling uphill against all corporate culture. Canadians apparently just do not hurry. Like ever, eh? I couldn't get anyone in that office to answer the phone. They got my voice mails, then emailed me that their stuff wasn't due yet, or that they would call me later. Eventually, I found out that the manager who had to approve the final data I needed was playing golf.

- I have not called any customers this week. It has been a wall-to-wall report slam from moment one. I haven't returned any of the phone messages that came in while I was out. I haven't been able to finish month end for the US either.

- To top it all off, the freakin' Epstein-Barr is definitely back. Not as bad as last year, but back, and dragging me down. Sigh.

I left the office in disgust and dismay.

The light at the end of the tunnel was that I got to go to Miss Kat and dana's tonight. I dragged my mutilated corpse in from the wars, so happy to be there I didn't know whether to cry or pee myself. Helen told me to cry, since they didn't want to clean up the pee.

Time at their house felt as if it saved my life, and may have actually saved my psyche. I perked up like a parched flower that's finally been watered. Thank God for my friends, who are so much better to me than I could ever deserve.

A post in which I begin paying for my vacation

I had been dreading today. As it turns out that dread was fully justified.

I walked back in to the hundreds of emails at accumulate after the longest vacation I have taken since 2007, month end due, and weekly reports to be put together.

It's kind of like being annoyed to death, only more stressful.

A post in which it is the last day of vacation :(

It's the last day. I actually felt better today than yesterday attitude-wise, go figure.

I got to work early and industriously and productively, doing chores to make the next four days easier. I changed sheets and stuff like that. I got the tree down, and got it and all the ornaments up in the attic! As much as I have enjoyed it, and I have, I am never sorry to see the last of it. To celebrate, I treated myself to an indulgent fast-food lunch. I almost never do that. I was just kind of where I had almost everything done that needed doing when the phone rang.

It was dana, inviting me over to visit. There was no way I was gonna say no to that. I got cleaned up and headed over to see what was up.

As it turned out, nothing. We talked about doing stuff, but no one really felt like it. We ended up just hanging out, vegging in front of the tube, and enjoying each other. I charged my happiness battery for the days ahead. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. It was actually the perfect way to spend the last of my vacation. If I'd stayed at home, I would have felt like I should keep doing stuff.

A post in which it is time for a trip to Spartanburg

I woke up today bummed. Small of me with a whole nother day off tomorrow, but true. I am really bummed about going back to work. I know it's going to be chaos, and I dread it. Telling myself that at least it's a short week ain't a-workin'.

I did manage to start working on taking the tree down. We had just thrown all the storage stuff in
the attic when we were done putting it up, and I was afraid it was going tobe bad packing them back up, but it turned out not to be nearly as bad as I had feared, and I got all the ornaments off today. That's most of the work.

To reward myself, I stopped, rested for a bit, and cheered myself up looking forward to going to Jeff and James's house tonight. We have the suppers regularly, but I always have to have one eye on the clock. It used to be just me that worked on Mondays, but now that Jeff and James apparently work all the time, they have to get up too. I just don't think they have to be up as early.

At any rate, I was looking forward to staying out as long as I wanted to tonight. The only fly in the ointment was that Russ and Billy couldn't go.

I did get to see their new furniture. They've had it since before Christmas, but what with one thing and another we haven't been to the house since. The new sofa is gorgeous. Buttery burgundy leather, comfortable seating for four, and it's stitched in white like a Coach bag. Gorgeous. It actually looks as if it could stand up to the dogs. For a while anyway.

We went out for sushi. They have found a good sushi place that is open on Sunday. In Spartanburg. Amazing. And scarce as hen's teeth. After a lovely meal we went back to their place and vegged in front of the tube, Amanda curled up adorably beside me. When you're that little, everything you do is cute.

I stayed until very late.

A post in which it is a new year

Well, it's a new year.

Actually it got off to a good start. Russ and I got up and went to the flea market. I hit on another find for Amanda (storin up those gifts), and thought I had gotten a deal for myself. I was flying blind (with no field guide) since I packed my clothes for today in my backpack. I ended up buying some well-done reproduction candlesticks. They're pretty anyway. I may sit them out for a while and look at them before I get rid of them.

When we got back, I went home to lay around for a while. But I got ready and headed to Russ and Billy's to go back out. Nothin' wussy 'bout me. There was more partyin' to do!

This evening was Rich's card party. He used to have it on Christmas day, but it's changed since he started spending more time with his family. I missed it last year and was very disappointed. His party is always relaxing and fun. There is usually a very low booger-eater quotient there. Dressing up is forbidden, and alcohol is encouraged. There was an additional inducement this year because we would get to meet Rich's non-boyfriend. Rich says they aren't involved, even though they see each other regularly and share food. Among other things. His business, but I was curious.

The guy turned out to be nice, and we had a very enjoyable evening. Alan, a guy I know who has done an odd job or two for me, was there. He's such a sweet man. There are several things around the house that need doing, but he's all tied up re-decorating Rich's house right now. I was impressed that he had the party, even in the midst of re-doing. So many queens would have been bitchy and talked about it, but Rich usually keeps those kind to a minimum. We had gorgeous homemade soup. He always makes one with no meat in it for me (what a sweetheart) and this year he made two! A really delicious black bean and rice, and a gorgeous tomato-mushroom bisque.

The party dwindled until there were just enough of us for one card table (there are usually more people there) and we had a great time talking, eating, and playing cards, until we finally just dropped all the cards pretense and chatted. It was a lovely, lovely way to start the new year.