A post in which I feel bad again

I woke up this morning feeling like hell. I really shouldn’t have gone to work today, but didn’t feel that I had any choice.

Amanda called me later in the morning about her party, and I had to tell her that I couldn’t come. I just didn’t feel like I was up to it. I HATE that, and I felt bad about it. Later in the day I felt even worse about it. Russ called to invite me out to dinner with him and Billy. Vince and Brian were going too. I agreed. I really hate to just go home on Friday night and do nothing, and I figured that dinner in a restaurant that wasn’t a half hour each way, and didn’t involve being outside at a bonfire, was something I would be up for. I did feel bad about backing out on Amanda and then accepting another invitation though.

As it turns out, I almost may as well have gone to Spartanburg. We went to Texas Roadhouse, which is a nice place, but not good for my self-control. I really wanted a rack of ribs, which I certainly do not need. I was trying to remember how long it had been since I have eaten any ribs while we had beers at the bar while waiting for the table. Something else I probably didn’t need.

I really don’t care for the Texas Roadhouse. Most of the tables there are four-tops, so if you have five people in your party it takes forever to be seated, because they either have to wait for one of the few larger tables to open, or they have to find a table they can stick a “loser seat” at the end of. On a Friday or Saturday night (which is usually when we end up there), I inevitably end up sitting in the aisle. But I was happy to be invited along, even though I was an extra bother. I wasn’t going to bitch about the restaurant. So we waited at the bar. And waited. And waited. I am not usually an easily embarrassed person, but it was very clear to me that we had all the extra wait time because of me. I became increasingly uncomfortable about that. When we did get to the table, the waiter came up to take our drink orders and helpfully clarified with me “So, you’re all by yourself then?” I am over-sensitive to that I’m sure, but I really hate to be singled out as the only single person in the party at a restaurant. This was a particularly heinous example, but I’m sure he didn’t think anything about it. I suppose I am just going to have to toughen up and accept a measure of indignity as the price of eating out. Such is the life of a single person in a world designed for couples.

So we ate supper (I did manage to order a Caesar salad instead of ribs), but I had forgotten how Vince likes to keep drinking after the meal. They each ordered another beer after we finished supper. It was after 9 by the time we left the restaurant. I was probably more cognizant of how long we were there because I was hanging out in the aisle through most of the meal (I think Brian noticed that I was uncomfortable - he let me scooch in with them later, which I very much appreciated).

Then Russ decided to go downtown for dessert. Now it was a gorgeous evening, and downtown was alive with people. It was just a beautiful evening to be outside walking around, but I’m not sure it was a great idea for me. I finally decided just to go with it and stop worrying. I had ridden with Russ and Billy, and didn’t want to be a killjoy by asking to be dropped at my car, which is probably what I should have done.

But we walked around Main Street and people-watched. There were plenty of hot guys to covet. We stopped at Coffee Underground and had dessert and coffee. We strolled down by the Reedy River and over the footbridge. We wandered in and out of a few stores. It was lovely evening, but I was quite surprised to find that it was after 11pm when we left downtown. So this wasn’t the easy evening I had expected. It was a lot of fun though.