A post in which I'm feeling much better

I turned on an awesome documentary called Before the Music Dies while I was getting ready for work today. It was so great, and made me think about Nicole. You don't have to be an intellectual heavyweight to know that new music put out by the industry gets progressively more plastic. This film confirms, explains, and shows some amazing artists. Super movie.

It was one of those Tuesdays. For some reason Tuesday is the day I pull my shit together and get stuff done. Fortunately placements at work have slowed a bit. I'm on top of my workload right now, as huge as it is. I sent an email today on my one new placement and got $10,000.00. I love those accounts.

My chest hurt a bit today, but I'm pretty sure at this point that it's just the usual onset of the pollen season. When I came outside today my car was dusted with it. Overall, that's a huge relief. I'm headed to Chapin this weekend to see Mom, Cole, and Ava. Mom's keeping them this weekend while Lisa and Carl go off for some couple time.

I dropped some stuff off at the library, and went by the grocery store on the way home for fill-in stuff. I spent $50 without really trying. Everything is so expensive. I got home and was making dinner when Justin called. He was on his way back from Georgia. He came over and visited for a bit. We caught up on what has been going on with him - mainly stories from the classroom. He's finishing up his apprenticeship as a student teacher. It was good to see him. When he left, I got in bed with Family Guy and drifted off. I love that Monday and Tuesday marathon.

A post in which I once again fear I am getting sick*

I woke up feeling like crap today. I don't know if it was because of all that cheap seafood or what, but I absolutely felt like garbage. And I have a busy week ahead too.

I futzed around the house for a while. I slept some more. By afternoon I was feeling better.

I can't decide if I'm getting depressed, or if this is just the onset of hay fever season, which always drags me out.

I didn't get much accomplished today. I really, really hope this upper respiratory thing isn't coming back.

I went to bed with the Family Guy marathon on.

A post in which I long for an invitation

I got up and had more veggie muffins today - yummy! It was beautiful outside but really windy, just as the weatherman predicted. I was restless. I decided to go to the flea market, even though I'm trying to cut down. I figured there would be a lot of people there, but I guess they didn't want to go out in the wind, because there were hardly any yard sale people. Which was fine. I had a list of things I needed, but didn't find most of it today. The Tide guy didn't have any Tide. I priced lawn mowers. I can get a decent fixed up used one for $60, about the same cost as having one fixed. The tool guy wasn't there. I did find a little screwdriver like I needed, but it was part of a set, and I ended up paying $5 for them, which was more than I wanted to pay for it. I got some produce. I couldn't find any Excedrin Tension Headache either, except in the mondo size, and expired. I usually keep it in my desk at work. I tossed a little pack of Goody powers I had at the house into my briefcase to take in. I called Anna because I felt like going on down to Anderson, but she didn't answer, as is pretty usual. I have got to get that girl a cell phone.

I got home and ate some lunch. I had gotten avocados so I could have California Clubs this week for dinner, so I made one today. Afterwards I decided to go ahead and make lunches for this week. I made some pasta and tossed it with sauce I pulled out of the freezer. I wanted to go ahead and get chores done this morning so I could play this evening if I was invited to do so. I've spent so much time at home alone this month that I'm kind of climbing the walls.

After doing that, and cleaning the kitchen, I lay down for what I thought was a wee nappie, but the next thing I knew it was 4pm! I got up and got ready to go to the Goodwill before they closed. I wanted all those vases out of the house. If I decide to get rid of something I try to do it immediately, before I second-guess myself. The house is so small that it's just always good to get rid of something. I got everything loaded up and to the Goodwill. I cruised the store too, but didn't score.

By this time, Russ had called and asked if I wanted to hang out this afternoon, which I absolutely did. I got home, got cleaned up, and got out of the shower in time for Justin to call. Apparently it was my day to be popular. I jumped in the car and headed to Russ's.

When I got there, we caught up a bit, and loaded a freezer to take over the Miss Helen. Apparently she's really into the survivalist thing these days and is stockpiling food. We got there and unloaded, then went upstairs with dana for a visit. I really like dana. We talked and laughed for a while, and then Russ was ready to eat.

We both had the munchies something awful, and were trying to decide where to eat. We had decided on Mexican and were headed back to the East side, when Russ mentioned that we were going to pass Golden Corral. At the same time, we both said "Seafood celebration!!" They have been having a seafood thing lately, and I decided I could just murder some crab cakes. So off we went. They have strawberry soda in the fountain there. I was astonished. So we dived upon the buffet and ate like crazed weasels. The coconut shrimp were over-cooked, but it's hard to mess up shrimp. The breading and their little tails were all crispy. The little scallops had been thrown in the fryer still frozen, and so escaped without being badly overcooked, unusually. The fried fish was surprisingly excellent. The crab cakes were mostly breading, as I had expected, but there was some real crab in them. The problem was that they were so over-spiced that all you could taste was the seafood spice blend they had in them. They were also heavy and greasy. I had two and a half. Then it was time for dessert. I tried a couple of things, but they had these little tiny chocolate chess pies that were just fucking heaven. They were WONDERFUL. After that I was stuffed. Those crab cakes were laid in my stomach like hockey pucks.

We went back to Russ's, but we had eaten until we basically couldn't move. Or sit up and even talk and visit. After a few minutes, Russ announced that he had to go to bed. I went home and did the same thing.

Apparently I wasted a bunch of energy wondering where things with the guy from work might go - he didn't call all weekend. Just as well I guess.

A post in which it is a rainy yucckky day

I got up this morning and had homemade veggie sausage McMuffins (come and get me Ronald), which I had been looking forward to all week, along with some Indian tea. Thus fueled, I proceeded to do nothing for a bit. As the sun came up, I could see it raining and raining and raining. Eventually I put in some laundry - I figured that was the least I could do. That got me a bit motivated.

I thought of all the things around here that need doing, and how this was a perfect day to do them. I decided to do what I call "organic cleaning". It's where you just start in doing stuff without really having a plan, and do things along the way. For instance:

* There was still a hole in the pictures over the fireplace from where I got that new big painting Valentine's weekend. I have a poster here that hasn't been up in a while that I decided to put up there, using a frame from another picture that was in the kitchen. The poster had been behind a chest of drawers in the bedroom. When I moved the chest of drawers out, it was dusty back there and needed to be moved completely and cleaned out. So I moved the chest out.

* I got out the vacuum to clean out back there and to get the worst of the dust off the cover that was over the poster. I realized I really have to change the bag in the vacuum.

* I went under the kitchen sink to get vacuum bags, but I'm out. While I was under there, I took everything out from under the sink, sorted through it, tossed what needed to be tossed, and moved some stuff around. I really need new shelf paper under there, but I wasn't taking that on today. I put vacuum bags that on the list and re-organized everything as I put it back in. I had seen on How Clean is Your House? that you never throw away a tooth brush, because they can be used to clean. Apparently I took that to heart. I found 23 old tooth brushes under the sinks today.

The toothbrushes I found under the sinks today. Wow, this just gets more and more riveting doesn't it? Sorry readers, it was a slow day.

The nine vases I'm taking to Goodwill tomorrow. I kept a couple, plus I have antique vases. OK, first, there hasn't been a fresh flower in this house since my surgery last summer. Second, even Zsa Zsa Gabor doesn't need this many vases. I think I have been guilty of being a prisoner of optimism.

* While I was under the sink I found one insert for an air freshener I no longer use, so I dug around under the bathroom sink for it, put the insert in, and plugged it in. While I was under there, I cleaned out under the bathroom sink as well. I had stopped using air fresheners because my ex didn't like them. Now I found out they cause cancer, so I'll just throw it away after the insert dries out. But that's something out from under two sinks.

* When I was finishing up under the kitchen sink, I found some drain stuff I didn't know I had, and used it on the slow drain in the bathroom.

* After I finished all that, I cleaned the picture frame, put the poster in it, and hung it. It doesn't look great there, but it looks better than a hole. I'm going to do a collage of family pictures in the kitchen so they'll all be in there with me while I'm cooking.

I had planned on finishing up by cleaning the bedroom, but the vacuum was full, and I wasn't about to go out in the rain to get more vacuum bags, which was as good an excuse as any. I had vases all over the kitchen waiting to go to Goodwill tomorrow. I soaked my new teapot to get all the labels off of it, put it in the cabinet, and got out my old one to go tomorrow. It was a cheap-o and droozles tea everywhere when I use it.

I kind of got a bit blue over the vases. I used to get flowers on Valentine's Day, our anniversary, and sometimes on my birthday. I guess it will be a good while before I get any more. I had kept them around to take flowers to BB in at the home, but now she's in Hendersonville, so I won't see her as often. It is time for them to go, but it still kind of makes me sad. I can't bear to throw out the dead flowers either. Michael always used to have to do that.

I ate some lunch and took a wee nappie.

Jeremiah texted me today that he was coming over, so I went ahead and got cleaned up. He stood me up, as usual, which was pretty much what I expected. I went on to the store. I picked up some paint and brushes, but decided it was too wet to paint when I got home. I am so ready to paint the bedroom and living room. I have to have someone to help me move furniture in the bedroom though. Plus I'm having this big debate over whether I need to do the ceilings again first.

I got the right vacuum bags on the first try, changed out the bag, and vacuumed a bit. I had forgotten how good my vacuum is - that thing really sucks!

By this point, my motivation was pretty much over. I did get some stuff done today. I finished all the laundry except for the sheets. I always kind of leave the sheets til Sunday just in case.

I made some supper, and sat down to watch telly. The TCM Essential tonight was Ben-Hur. I hadn't seen that one before, so I watched it all the way through. I'm not a huge Charlton Heston fan, and most of the movie had a kind of mui-macho plot line (despite the famed homo-erotic subtext) that was a bit much for me (you hurt my women-folk, so I'm-a gonna getcha!), but it was a good movie. It was also distracting to me that the villain's name was Messala. Garam masala is an Indian spice, so that kept making me think about Indian food. I was ready for sleep before it was over, but I stayed up to watch it all.

A post in which I have dinner with Russ

Work was tying and tying and tying up loose ends today. But thankfully, placements seem to have slowed a bit (crossing fingers).

It rained and rained and rained; and it's supposed to rain some more this weekend. Everything is sodden and gray. But apparently we are still not out of the *&&%$@!! drought we're supposed to be in. I don't see how we can possibly still be too dry. Donnie and I were texting about it today. He says apparently it isn't over until the cows swim home. Lordamercy.

I took the last of my second round of antibiotics yesterday. I'm waiting anxiously to see if this crap starts back up. I'm planning on starting back with the exercise next week. I'm crossing my fingers again about that one. I have got to drop some weight.

When I got home I just relaxed a bit, profoundly thankful to have a couple of days off, and waited for Russ to call.

We went out for seafood and kind of caught up on what we had been doing. I didn't have a terrible lot to relate, as I have been home not feeling well for most of March. It was good to see Russ. We hadn't seen each other in too long.

I tried JB today, but his number is disconnected as well. Russ says he'll put me in touch with his handyman though. I have plenty of stuff around here that needs doing.

After dinner, I called Miss Kat's house since I was in the neighborhood. She's out of town again with a company acquisition she's been working on, and dana had been called in to work for the weekend.

I went home and fooled around on line a bit, played some video games. Then I turned on Howl's Moving Castle and went to sleep.

A post with the latest picture of sweet Ava

The latest picture of my darlin angel baby neice Ava. Just like her Uncle Steve. She ain't happy unless she has a tiger by the tail.

A post in which I face life in the great suburban outback

It was an interesting day at work today. A guy at work contacted me. I had seen him before, and knew he was gay, and wondered about him, but the opportunity just hadn't arisen to explore much more. He works in a different department in the other building at work, so it wasn't like we see that much of each other. We did find out, kind of by accident last week, that we both have a passion for Indian food. Anyway, he sends me an email today, just kind of out of the blue, and asks if I'd like to get to know each other better. I was touched. I think he's a bit more shy than I am, so that may have been hard for him. Plus, any personal approach at work is now fraught with peril, of course. Additionally, he works in sales. I think a sales person and a credit person co-existing in harmony has to be one of the seven signs of the apocalypse. But I said OK anyway. I listened, but didn't hear the sound of the breaking of a great seal. No horsemen. We're cool so far.

Of course, we're just talking about friendship right now, but who knows? He seems to be literate, and I can already tell he's a bit of a foodie too. Of course, he tells me he is deathly allergic to cats (as it seems 75% of everyone I meet is these days). And see, there I go, planning already to be a Sadie. Lordamercy. Sometimes I annoy myself. I was just thinking this week that I kind of like not having to share the bed with anyone but the cats. But that's kind of pathetic too. But see I just automatically went there. It isn't all my fault though. My friend Terry gave me a Tarot reading one time, and everything she told me came true - except for one thing. She told me I would find love in the workplace. So I've been half-waiting ever since. But geez, I have dated people I worked with twice. And both times it was pretty much a disaster. I have sworn a Scarlett O'Hara Vow never to do it again. But that was sixteen years ago. And I am free. Free as a bird! But wither, wither shall I fly? (Extra points if you recognize that quote.)

Food for thought.

I couldn't decide what to eat again tonight, so I just came home and had tomato soup. Justin would be proud. I got in touch with Russ tonight. He has been a bit miffed at me because he called me last Friday night and I already had plans. I sent him an email this week, but hadn't heard back. Anyway, we worked it out, and we're going to dinner tomorrow night.

I have a hole in the eave of my house. There is a place where the siding has come off, and I keep meaning to have it fixed, but just haven't. When the guys came to the house to do my trees, they told me that I needed to get it covered or I would have squirrels in my attic (don't go there). Well this week I started hearing little feety-prints up there. "Crap, I thought, I've got squirrels." The odd thing was that I was hearing stuff late at night, and squirrels are generally asleep then. Also, I can almost beat on the part they would be in by slapping the ceiling of my laundry room, but they didn't come out of the hole (I can see it from my laundry room window). Squirrels are usually pretty skittish, being towards the bottom of the food chain and all.

So I'm laying in bed tonight trying to get into The Scarlet Pimpernel (with limited success). I'm trying to watch Leslie Howard and see a) a swashbuckling hero (which frankly was pushing it); and b) not Ashely Wilkes (which was even harder). But I keep hearing this rustling and popping sound, like some critter chewing on a rafter or something. Eventually, this just pisses me off. I go up in the attic with a flashlight, but can't see anything. So I'm in the laundry room, beating the fool out of the ceiling in there, and checking the window. I see this big triangular head poke out of the hole. I'm thinking "Fuck! I don' t have squirrels, I have a possum (Opossum for you yankees)." I have seen a possum in the neighborhood before.

Well for some reason, the thought of a big ugly possum up there (see above translation, those above the Mason/Dixson line) with his naked tail caressing my rafters just grosses me out and makes me more mad. So I throw on an odd assortment of clothes and go out there with a big plant squirt bottle full of ammonia. I know possums have sensitive noses, so I'm pretty sure that will annoy him if it doesn't drive him out. (I figured he couldn't get in to the attic or he'd be in there already.) So I adjust my spray to "fine stream" and just start filling that hole with squirts of pure ammonia. At first, nothing is happening, but it is making me feel a bit better. Then, a head appears. The head of a full-grown raccoon (that's coon, for those of you from West Virginia)! I was flabbergasted. He didn't like that ammonia one bit, and tried to go under a rafter and into another section of the eave, but I was having none of it, and had plenty of ammonia. (I had just bought a quart to clean old glass with.)

I kept spraying. Eventually, he couldn't take it any more. He tried to crawl back up over the roof, but was probably having a hard time seeing at this point. He fell off the corner of the house, bounded across the dog lot, climbed over a five foot fence, and headed off at a pretty good clip. Hopefully he won't be back. I had seen him in the neighborhood before, in the storm drain that runs under the street. I'm sure the neighbors across the street provide him with a buffet of cat food every night. I have no problem with him being in the neighborhood, but if he ain't paying rent, he ain't welcome at my place. I'm just sayin.

Flush with victory, I returned to the house and called my buddy Rick (who's a handyman) to let him know I definitely have to have that roof fixed. His number is disconnected. So I called my friend Laura to find out if she could get in touch with him, but she just had JB's number. I'll call him tomorrow. I then turned on the computer, and killed things in a video game for a while to take the edge off. I then cleaned up all the mud and flotsam I had tracked in to the house during the fracas. By that time, Pimpernel was over and some war movie was on. I turned on the DVD player and went to bed.

A post in which I just want to be at home

It turned off ugly again today, and cold. I didn't take a jacket to work with me, thinking it would warm up, but it actually got colder as the day went on.

A buddy invited me out after work, but I didn't feel like going. Plus, I started feeling a bit yucky again today at work. I finish round two of the antibiotics tomorrow. I'm hoping it's just allergies. They start in at this time of year.

They called me about the mower today. According to the mechanic, I have a severely bent crank shaft that would take $300 to repair. I don't believe it. If the problem was the crank shaft, I don't think it would run at all, not just start up and then stop over and over. That doesn't make any sense. Dad said he knew two guys that did small engine repair. I guess I have to decide whether I want to take it somewhere else or not now.

I went by the store to pick up a couple of things I forgot, and to see if they had anything I felt like eating for dinner. They didn't, even though I went to Publix. My rule of thumb is that if I can't make up my mind what I want to eat, I go home. So I did, even though I really didn't feel like cooking. All I really felt like doing was going to bed.

I made myself a veggie burger, cleaned up, and hit the sack.

There is a new program on Discovery Channel called "Cocaine Nation". I watched a bit of it, but it was pretty silly. They follow law enforcement busting street dealers "attacking the problem from the ground up". Those street dealers are as disposable as tissues to the cartel that employs them. They can be replaced the next day. The voice-over at the Mexican border said that law enforcement stops about 2% of the cocaine that comes over the border - 2%!! Now I'm not a cocaine advocate or user, but at some point you just have to get some perspective. This is a modern-day Prohibition. There is no "war on drugs" - the crooks have won. They have more money, they have endless employees in the poor and downtrodden (increasingly more of them now), and they have an insatiable clientele. The United States buys more cocaine than any other country. It's time to legalize it, tax the hell out of it, put warnings all over it, and call it a day.

A post in which I have dinner with Dad

I called Eve after work today because I told Dad I'd come over there for dinner one night this week. Although I was trying to giver her some advanced notice, she said tonight would be fine since they were going out to eat anyway. I met them at El Matador since they asked me where I wanted to go. The staff was super-nice, as usual, and we had my favorite waitress.

Dinner went pretty well. We hadn't seen each other in about three or four weeks since I pissed Dad off the last time I talked to him, so I had plenty of safe stuff to talk about. We talked about TV shows and Eve gossiped about people they know. It was pretty pleasant.

Dad talked to me about a house he may be able to pick up for a bargain and asked if I would be interested. I don't know. The kitchen is small, and the house itself is about the same size as the one I'm in. But it has an all brick exterior, and a new heating/cooling system that is very energy efficient. I'd be interested in seeing it, but I don't know how I feel about moving. Or going in to something like that with my Dad again. Also, houses in my neighborhood aren't selling, and I'd have to do a good bit of work on mine before I could put it on the market. Overall, I'm thinking not, but I'd be interested to at least look at the other one.

After dinner, I had to go to the grocery store. I could tell Dad was disappointed that I didn't come back to the house, but I had to get groceries in order to be able to take lunch tomorrow. I had already planned to go to the store, and just kind of put it off to have dinner with them. Plus, I'm not 100% sure I want to commit to a whole evening over there just yet. No matter what I do, it's never enough anyway, so it's not like going to the house would have made a huge difference. If someone is never satisfied, you just set your own limits on what you'll give, and stick to them.

I went by the store, then came home and cooked Morningstar Farms chicken strips for sandwiches this week. Apparently they have stopped making the beef ones. I haven't been able to find them anywhere, and they were my favorite. I'm making subs for lunch the rest of the week. I really miss the roast beef subs from The Red Barn, and the ones I made with those strips were almost as good.

A post in which I have an entertaining supper

I started a new week today. My boss gave me back all the signed write-offs, so that hurdle is cleared. Now I just have to wait for the approvals from California. They did the announcement at work today that there would be no raises this year, yet we still have to go through the incredibly dildonic review process anyway. In the past you could at least hope for a raise after doing all that corporate PC bullshit. I get slightly queasy just thinking about it. Our review process is more a creative writing test than a measure of performance. You'd think I would do well, but I have so little patience for the whole ridiculous process that I generally just get it over with as quickly as possible. I wonder how the less literate (and they are legion) are able to do anything with it.

For some reason I was just lazy today. Just couldn't seem to care. Even with people being laid off all around me. I know I should be grateful just to have a job, but you can only milk that cow for so long. I've never been good with expected gratitude. I was just having one of those days.

Donnie called me today to talk about the party debacle. He had a conversation with the host. Apparently the host is blaming Nicole for the swing breaking, which is just nuts. I was in the swing too. Dan'l is still pissed off about it, telling Donnie that he felt we should have apologized (for what? sitting on a porch swing? If we had been roughhousing or something I could see it but we were just sitting in the damn thing!). Donnie told him he was lucky we didn't sue them. Anyway, for them still to invite me and exclude Nicole because of that is nuts anyway. So it looks like Donnie is planning to go - he told me he would RSVP today. So I guess it's OK for me to go. But now it just doesn't seem like much fun.

I had dinner scheduled tonight with Anna and her parents. She says they really like me and had been looking forward to seeing me again. Since we were going to dinner at 6:30, I just kind of hung around Woodruff Road after work. I looked in the Goodwill up there. No glass, but there was a very cool poster for Il Trovatore for only $15.50 - framed, matted and all. There was a little bit of damage in one corner, and a tiny bit fo warping in the mat from moisture, but you would have to look hard to see those. If I'd had a place for it I would have bought it. I just love Verdi.

I strolled through Kohl's just for the heck of it. I found some mugs there that had a very similar design to my hand thrown bear mugs. Michael had asked if I could get more of those before he moved, but there were no more of the ones like mine. I sent him the picture of the similar ones. They were a lot cheaper than mine too. I looked again at the microfiber sheets they're selling. They feel really soft, but I just can't get past the idea of plastic sheets. Plus I just got a new set, so I passed them by yet again. I am intrigued though.

Dinner was lovely. Anna is so excited about Ni Hao, and her parents seemed to enjoy the meal as well even though her mom isn't a huge buffet fan. After we ate and talked it was getting late, so I just brought in my bag o' glass that I had packed for them to look at and did show and tell in the restaurant. It was fun. They seemed to enjoy it, and her mom particularly seemed to enjoy looking at the couple of pieces that I bought. They are really nice people. By the time we finished dinner and talk it was almost 9. I headed home to feed an strident Jinx. I got a lot of backwards-ear attitude tonight over her late dinner.

A post in which Anna and I have an excellent day

I don't know if it was a combination of Milk and barbecue too late at night or what, but I had horrible nightmares last night. I dreamed that I was car-jacked with a water pistol by a 12-year old girl. She ran back to her Mom's car after squirting water from a water-gun in my partially-open window. Her mother raced off and I gave chase. I eventually cornered them in the apartment complex that I worked at when I was in high school. I confronted the mother, who told me that this was her daughter's birthday, and that she was allowed to do whatever she wanted to on her birthday. When I called 911 to report what happened, she began to hit me, trying to get me to hit her back so that she could claim assault when the police arrived. That was about when I woke up. It was a very unpleasant dream - and the last scene in it was very ugly. I woke up feeling bad and not ready to face the day.

I went to the computer and was contemplating whether or not I should call Anna. I finally decided I would just go over there, and go on without her if she wasn't up or had changed her mind. Then the phone rang. Bless her, it was Anna, telling me she was up and getting ready to go. With a much lighter heart - I ate breakfast, dressed, and headed out the door.

I picked her up and we headed for Duncan, stopping along the way to get coffee, since Russ has kind of made that a tradition now. We got to Barnyard and walked around. Anna loves old stuff too, and bought some cool old records. I found some glass, but it was mostly pieces I had seen before and decided not to buy. That lovely cameo candy dish was still there, and still chipped. I resisted it.

There was actually junk in this box we saw at Barnyard, but I got a big kick out of it. Anna said she had seen many like this one at work.

When we got done there, we decided since we were already out and about we'd just ride down to Anderson to the Jockey Lot. I bought my first piece of Black Amethyst glass today. I have been
wanting some ever since I saw some at the Mint Museum in Charlotte with Lee. I was like "Why don't I own some of this?" I found my vase - the first piece I have ever seen at the flea market to my knowledge. The woman wanted $10 for it. I had no idea what the book value was, but decided it was worth that to me. It is a lovely thing. So I got it.

When I looked it up after I got home, I found out that it is the real thing, and is a piece made by LE Smith Glass Company. Very interesting history.

Lewis E Smith was a chef in Mt. Pleasant, PA. He had developed his own mustard recipe that he wanted to market, but to do that he needed jars. He decided to buy an abandoned glass factory in 1907 to make jars for his mustard.

He got bit by the glass bug, and soon became a household name. His company was famous for making Model T headlights, marketing the first glass mixing bowls, and for inventing
the glass top for percolators, allowing you to actually watch your coffee perk.

The LE Smith glass company began making colored glass about 1926, as did most American glass companies at the time. The quality of his glass was better than true depression glass, so there wasn't as much of it as there is of the really popular freebie stuff. Technically, his glass is Elegant Glassware. It is depression-era, but not Depression Glass, since these pieces are of better quality, and are "finished" (i.e. the bases and seams are ground and polished, etc).

In the late 20's, LE Smith came up with a formula for Amethyst Glass. Glass that was so deep a purple it appeared to be black, but under bright light would show the dark purple color. It was wildly popular, and was heavily collected at the time.

That's good and bad. Good because I could readily find pictures of my vase online, and actually identify the maker. Bad because there are apparently several terms for this glass that are used interchangeably. I found this identified as a "dancing nymphs" "dancing ladies" "snake dance" "veil dance" and even "dancing nudes" pattern, as well as a pattern number 433, which I could find no other information about. Many glass companies at the time identified their patterns only by number. Collectors later assigned many of the names we now use to refer to glass patterns. I found this vase identified as a "trophy vase" and as a "loving cup vase". I found prices that varied from $7.99 to $80. I'm thinking it's probably worth somewhere around $20-$30. I did find a definitive manufacture date of 1928-1932. I'll have to find a specialty book on LE Smith glass to find out the real book value.

Apparently LE Smith wandered away from his glass company to pursue other interests. But the LE Smith Glass Company is still open, and still manufacturing lovely colored glass. It is one of the very few American glass companies that I know of (there's Anchor Hocking, of course, and Fenton) still producing collectible glass.

We also saw a Florentine covered vegetable dish. I kind of had a debate with myself about that one. On the one hand, it was complete with the lid. But it was yellow, and issue #2 (I prefer issue #1 bowls, although the lid is interchangeable), and kind of chipped up. But I could pick it up for about $10, I figured. I thought about it while we walked around over the rest of the flea market, and went back to the table right before we left. The woman that had it was packing up to leave, but got it back out and sold it to me. When we got to the car, I was shocked to see the value on it was $80! Of course that was if it was in mint condition, and this piece has obviously been used, and has several chips. Still, it was a pretty cool buy, I thought.

Florentine #2 covered oval vegetable bowl in yellow by Hazel -Atlas, circa 1932-1935. The color on this piece is actually a true, bright yellow. This picture doesn't capture the color very well, but gives good detail on the pattern.

By this time, we were both tired and hungry, so we decided to head for lunch. I dropped by the house to put my produce away, take off some of my cool weather layers, and show Anna a bit of the glass in my displays.

We then headed out for nachos, since going to the flea market seems to make me want Mexican food for some reason. After lunch at Coronas we went over to the big Goodwill off East North Street, but I didn't score there. I used Anna as an excuse and dropped in the Dollar Tree to buy a set of those Coke glasses I've been in love with for a year and resisting.

We then went down to Southern Antiques off Mauldin Road and closed them down. I love that store, but their prices are pretty high. We didn't get to finish since they close at 5pm on Sundays, so they once again had to run me out of there.

By this time, I was tired, and knew I had played way too long today. I took Anna on home, and chatted with her mom for a bit before I headed home.

I got home to find one of my dancer neighbors laying out in the yard with her gorgeous young boyfriend in his underwear - he is beautiful, needless to say. They were laying out on my side of the yard, so I could see them from the windows in the green room. I looked at him until I felt creepy, and then went on to do some straightening up. I changed the sheets, opened the windows, and did some laundry.

I had intended to get some fish samiches from McDonald's for dinner, since they are on sale right now, and I was way too tired to think about cooking tonight. But I had pulled up Super Size Me on hulu.com to watch today, and finally sat down to watch it while the clothes washed. There are a LOT of facts in there, and although they guy obviously had an agenda, that doesn't change the things that the movie showed. I found it was more objective than Michael Moore, although that isn't saying much. By the time it was over, I was too horrified at the thought of going to McDonald's to go - even though conversely looking at the logo and all that food made me crave it, perversely.

I turned on the Fox Sunday night line-up and ate a big salad and some dal. I got the labels off the new tumblers, washed them, and got them in the cabinet with the glasses. I soaked the new glass in ammonia and got it all cleaned up. I packed up a couple of pieces to take to show Anna's parents tomorrow night, since I'm having dinner with them. Then I hit the sack. Tomorrow's the beginning of another week.

A post in which I kind of blow off a friend

Well I'm not sure I did the right thing tonight, but I made a decision.

I got home and was really tired. I tried to lay down and take a nap, but couldn't sleep. I thought I was going to there for a minute, but the phone rang at just the wrong time and broke it.

I got up and started thinking about straightening up the house, which it certainly could use.

But then Laura called and said they were going to watch Milk tonight on the big screen in their back yard. On the one hand, I really wanted to see it with them. It's not the kind of movie I generally will watch by myself and I did want to see it. I don't do well with sad movies, and hello, I knew he was going to be assassinated at the end. But on the other hand, Terry was supposed to drop by tonight after work to give me back some money he borrowed. On the one hand, I wanted the money. But on the other hand, he was only going to bring back a small part of it, and if I get in in dribs and drabs, I know I'll spend it rather than send it to Visa as I should. If he had been coming for a visit visit, it would have been different, but he was just coming by on the way home from work. But at the same time, I still have this crap in my chest, and sitting out in the back yard to watch a movie all evening didn't seem like the most brilliant of ideas. I was really torn between what was prudent and responsible, and missing yet more fun after sitting home so much lately.

I finally decided screw it, and wrote a note for Terry. I got ready for the party, wrapped up well, taped the note to the door, and went on. I figured if I get sick again I was going to anyway, and I'll just go back to the doctor. And I figured Terry will understand.

The next hurdle was that Kimbley and Laura were having barbecue tonight - specifically pulled pork. I deal with that at work by having beans, slaw, and bread (although here lately Anna has been hooking me up with better), but that really wasn't what I wanted for dinner on a Saturday night. Laura even sweetly called me from the grocery store to ask what she could get me to eat. I just told her I'd eat before I came. I didn't want to have her looking for obscure veggie stuff the store might not even carry. But she made the sad friend voice, and was like "Oh, OK." That is one of the biggest problems I have with being veggie in social situations. The communal breaking of bread is a very primal thing. From way back it has been a sign of solidarity and friendship. Telling someone you'll eat before you come is at worst an insult, and at best a rejection of their hospitality - particularly in the South where our culture is so incredibly food-centric. But barbecue is one of the hardest meals to eat veggie during, since the meat is - even more so than usual - the main event and the center of the meal. I decided that I would definitely eat with them, no matter what I ended up eating.

I stopped on the way at the big BiLo near my house, which thankfully was selling veggie riblets. They're good, but you don't find them just anywhere. I took my riblets in with me and just threw them in the microwave. So I could eat everything else, and was even eating an approximation of what they were eating. That seemed to work out.

I tried to get a reading from Kimbley and Laura on what they were intending to do about the party this year, but they either haven't made a decision, or weren't comfortable talking about that decision in front of Donnie.

Mark and I got into it for about a minute. He started spouting Republican dogma at me about what a living saint Ronald Reagan was - basically if I want to listen to that shit I'll go see my dad. I just told him that we really didn't want to have this conversation, and that I usually strive not to talk about politics with Donnie's group because I know they don't agree with me. Mark is stubborn, not at pains to listen to anyone else's point of view, and has a total disregard for the unfortunate which pretty much epitomizes everything I despise about the Republican party. The fact that he has less social grace just means that he is totally open about the "screw the poor" mentality. Although his candor is refreshing (he doesn't wrap himself in the flag or lecture about "personal responsibility", as many do to justify their position - at least not to me), I nonetheless find the position itself reprehensible. Kimbley pulled rank as hostess and forbade talk about politics, for which I was very grateful. I will say that he was conspicuously charming to me for the rest of the evening, as if to kind of make up for it. I really do get the feeling that he likes me, somewhere down in there. And I can agree to disagree as long as my face isn't rubbed in it.

The movie was wonderful. Sean Penn was transcendent. Who would have guessed that the stoner from Fast Times at Ridgemont High was capable of such nuance and sensitivity? It was an amazing performance, and an amazing movie. The film successfully took the life of one man and showed how that life both created and affected a movement. It showed how one person can make a difference. It didn't sugar-coat his life or shy away from him as a sexual being either. Usually movies about gay men conveniently neuter them (as I have raved about before), but not here. I also really appreciated the use of real news clips and footage of Anita Bryant at the time to show demonstrate what the climate was really like. I have no doubt that even some of the press conference lines used by the actors were actual quotes. The final excellent touch was showing pictures of the real people portrayed in the movie, and telling where they were now. Many of them went on to have extraordinary lives and make large impacts of their own in our movement for equal rights. They really touched all the bases.

As usual after such a movie though, I was fairly shell-shocked afterwards. Plus it was almost midnight. Plus I had to be up for the flea market in the morning. So I said my goodnights to my dear friends, thanked them for their invitation, and went home to tuck myself in to bed. I was pretty well wrapped up, but it was still too cool for it to be really a good idea for me to be outside all evening. I'm very much afraid I'll pay for that.

When I got home, Terry had left a nice note telling me he wasn't upset with me. Hopefully I'll see him this week. Apparently he's getting ready to move to Washington state. So wow, he's going to be gone. John is already out there and has found work. I wish him well, but I'll miss him.

A post in which I get some stuff done

Well I don't know if it was Coraline or not, but I had very vivid dreams last night. I was at Grandma Shumate's house with my dad, Eve, and a pregnant Hispanic woman my grandmother had met through the church and was trying to help. Her scary boyfriend and his gang had showed up to claim her on their way out of town. They had just pulled off a big heist. Her boyfriend, the leader, came in and warned us all not to interfere. He was a huge, threatening man, and we were all afraid of him. The gang had backed up a huge truck to the back door of the house, and he was trying to talk the woman into coming with him. My family, not surprisingly, had decided to go ahead and eat since there was nothing we could do. My dad had a big plate of potato salad and was drizzling the dressing for it all over his pants while he continued eating and raving about how good it was. I looked out the side window. Apparently the gang had decided to change vehicles before they took off, and were unloading a huge shipment of reproduction fake Depression Glass all over the side yard, in preparation for re-packing it in another truck. The colors of the glass were very vivid - rare colors like tangerine and aquamarine. I was outraged. I had just decided that this was the last straw, and I would just have to do something about it when I woke up.

My first thought when I woke up today was that I didn't have to go to work. I was thrilled. It was after 7 - which is unusually late for me to sleep on the weekend. I got up, threw some biscuits in the toaster oven, and turned on the computer while they were baking. I had biscuits and eggs and got dressed. I wanted to be ready when Anna called. But she didn't. I figured she had overslept. She isn't a morning person naturally, but has to get up at 5:30 every day to get to work. On the weekend she sleeps in. Sometimes most of the day. You can do that when you're in your 20's. I used to do it.

I eventually decided she just wasn't going to call, but there were plenty of little jobs around here I've been putting off that really need doing.

I looked up the drop-off center to have the mower repaired. I've been meaning to do that since last fall. I swore a Scarlett O'Hara vow that I'd have that damn thing fixed, or buy another one. It will run, but only for about 30 seconds at a time. Eventually it will run, but you have to start it 20 or 30 times first. Then sometimes in the middle of a job it will just stop and do the same thing again - usually when about half of the front yard is mowed. I've replaced the spark plug, put fresh gas in, and changed the air filter. I'm thinking it has to be something with the fuel line.

The deal with having it fixed is what makes me so nuts about our "throw-it-out-and-buy-another" society. I 'm picturing the WALL-E world. There were like three places I could find that did small engine repair. They were open like 10 hours a week, during the time that I'm at work. The last time I looked I left a message for one that was supposed to be open, but they never called me back. The only place I could find to take it was Sears. They of course weren't going to do the work themselves, they are going to contract it out to some shop that I couldn't find or elves or something. I pay a $30 "diagnostic fee", and agree to spend up to $110. Labor is billed at $60 per hour. If I have the mower repaired, my $30 goes towards the repair. If I don't have it repaired, they keep the up front fee. A new mower costs $150. They have them sitting right at the front of the drop-off center as you go in. I bet most people just shell out rather than fool with the hassle. The part to fix that mower, change the oil, etc, probably costs about $20 retail, and would probably take some good ole boy about a half hour to fix it. There just aren't any fix-it shops left. It just makes me nuts. I'm trying to do the right thing, and I'll probably end up getting screwed for doing it.

After I dropped it off, I was up on Woodruff anyway, so I dropped by the dollar store to get some tooth brushes. A lot of stuff in there is just as good, but cheaper, but of course you have to watch what you get. I got some shower gel there that stained all my washcloths gray and made my eczema really bad. Of course once I got in there today I found all this stuff I had to have, but talked myself (again) out of buying a set of these really cool Coke glasses they have that I just love. I need another set of glasses like I need a padded bra.

On the way home, deposited my state tax refund check at the bank.

After that I came home to load up the car again and eat some lunch. I ate here rather than eating out, which made me feel practical and frugal. When I walked in, I immediately logged in to the bank and sent my tax money to Visa before I could get used to it being in the account. I got Maureen's wedding card ready to mail, writing what I hoped was a touching note inside. I figured it was the least I could do after missing their wedding last weekend. Then I cleaned up the kitchen and went through the sheets. Unfortunately, that didn't result in much. I was only able to part with one set. But they were flannel, so they were eating up a lot of shelf space. I couldn't part with my orange sherbet sheets, even though they're pilled up. They're Springmaids, and I keep thinking I'll give them one more chance. I'm putting them back on the bed this week. I have two sets that are too small for the bed, but I use them when I go up to Granny's, and they're both really pretty. One is palest lavender, the other alternating white, fat light blue, and tiny navy stripes. They look like really cool pajama fabric. There's a set of purple ones that were ruined during a massage (the guy put so much oil on me they looked like the Shroud of Turin when I got up), but I rationalize that I can always use a set of sheets I don't have to worry about messing up at times. And I have one set that have a hole that I paid a fortune for online. But at least I got rid of one set, right?

By this time I was tired, but I decided to finish up errands before I let myself take a nap. A remorseful Anna called - she had slept in as I thought. We re-scheduled the flea market for tomorrow.

I went back out with a loaded car.
- I hauled off the recycling.
- I took back a book on CD and a couple of books I finished to the library.
- I mailed Maureen's wedding card at the post office.
- I ran the one set of sheets and a couple of odds and ends to Goodwill, and browsed the store, but didn't score.

I returned home covered in virtue and a sense of satisfaction - then walked in to my filthy house. Terry is supposed to come by tonight. I'm going to have to at least make motions of straightening up.

A post in which I am tired of hearing MYSELF whine

Work was for the most part quiet today. I got all my write-offs paperwork done, which is always a good time of the month. Due to my boss's laid-back attitude about approving them, my new Zen approach on getting them processed is working for me.

I'm also learning how to work around his new-found bankruptcy expertise - at least the worst of it. Although he has learned a bunch of new impressive terms at the seminar he went to, he apparently has little to no grounding on what they actually mean, or where they apply. After reading up on some of the new things he wanted me to do, they in no way apply to many of the situations in which he wanted me to use them. Yeah. So by quietly pointing out why these shiny new things can't actually be used in some situations, he backs off a bit. The ones they apply in, I'm fairly sure I can apply to some extent.

After reading back over this blog for the last two weeks, I feel whiny and fairly Schleprock-esque. For those of you who hung in there. Thanks. I'm not a good sick person.

At any rate, illness waiting in the wings or not, I decided I was tired of staying home. I asked Anna what she was doing tonight, and we made plans to go to Ni Hao for buffet sushi, and then to see Coraline, which she hadn't seen either. I really wanted to see it in the theater since it is in 3D.

Dinner went well. We always seem to have SO MUCH to say to each other. She speaks my language and usually understands even my more obscure references. We have a very similar sense of humor and seem to appreciate many of the same things, and notice many of the small ironies that just spring up like weeds in your life when you live here.

I bounced the whole party debacle off her and she was as flummoxed as I am. Interestingly, during that discussion astrology came up, and we both have the same opinion about that too. We're not slaves to the stars, but there are just too many things about it that seem to be true to write it off completely.

The movie was awesome - truly as good as I had been led to believe. I had read all the reviews I could without reading spoilers, of course. It was magical, and whimsical, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Anna an I both became excited when we found out, in unison during the credits, that French and Saunders were doing parts. We both love them, and hadn't realized they were in the movie. They were divine, of course, and it would have been well worth the price of admission to me just to see their part, complete with a parody of the famous Birth of Venus. Spectacular! But the whole movie was good. I loved the British fairly lore that they left in. I also loved the fact that such good stories are being made about assertive and spunky girls! (Part of the strange dichotomy of our culture at the moment. While on the one hand younger women are increasingly sexualized and objectified, on the other hand never have more doors been open to them. It makes me really glad that I'm not raising a daughter.) And Anna was the perfect person to see it with. Anna has such a great sense of whimsy, and is as unabashed as I am about her excitement and appreciation of things. She is just so much fun.

Anna in her 3D glasses

Me in my 3D glasses - I don't know why I always want to make pictures in the glasses

Afterwards, I dropped her off at home, and we made plans to go to the Barnyard flea market tomorrow. Yay! That will be lots of fun.

A post in which it is no longer news that they are trying to fucking kill me at work

But yet, I will write about it anyway, because it's better than going postal. Well for the people who work with me, anyway.

Notes from the other side - through the corporate looking glass:

- I found out today that they laid off one of the best IT guys we had, while still maintaining employment for numberless clueless minions in the Philippines. They have caused the help line to be christened the lack-of-help line by employees.

- My boss has for some reason decided I am a lawyer today, and instructed me to begin preparing complex legal filings which we have never done in-house before. Beware the boss who attends a 2 hour seminar - he then becomes an expert. Apparently about anything. I'm waiting for them to fire our HMO and instruct me to start treating employees for illness. Bad news for the woman in our department with cancer.

- Layoffs have sneakily begun again. As usual, the company is cherry-picking employees with health problems, then telling making them sign suit waivers to get their severance packages. Illegal? Oh hell yeah. A woman I've worked with for 15 years told me today that she will probably be laid off by month's end. Her boss has already told her the layoff in that department begins with her.

And they wonder why morale is low. Perhaps we should hire an expensive consultant to tell us.

I left work and decided I didn't feel like going to the bear dinner tonight. It was at a place called Lieu's. Lieu's is OK, but it's pretty expensive, and I really didn't feel like socializing tonight. Or spending the money. Or going anywhere with illness lurking in my chest, just waiting for the antibiotics to run out.

I went to the grocery store and bought a good amount of groceries for about the same amount I would have spent on dinner out.

I turned on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the new one with Johnny Depp was on tonight) and made tea, balanced my checkbook, and attended to various and sundry other little chores around the house.

A post in which they continue trying to kill me at work

I slept for nine and a half hours last night, an woke up feeling human, but still kind of fragile. I still have an ache in my throat that shouldn't be there, but the worst of the tiredness is gone. I know I sound like a hypochondriac, but you just know when something isn't right in your body, you know? Something's been off, and it ain't right yet.

While I was getting ready for work this morning I had a special on Howard Hughes playing on telly. They do Discovery Classroom series in the mornings on the History Channel, and I tune in sometimes. I was a bit wistful when they talked about his withdrawal to a darkened hotel room to live the remainder of his life. Of course, he was mentally ill, but with all that's going on right now, it just seems like it would be such a luxury to be able to go inside, lock the door, and not deal with anyone if you didn't feel like it.

Then I went in to work and navigated the field of land mines my desk has become. My portfolio is at 6.5 million now, and people just keep walking over, dumping, and brushing their hands as they go away. There is no end in sight. My boss apparently thinks that the more ridiculous and unreasonable demands he makes, the better off we will be. So in addition to my huge legitimate work load, I am supposed to chase down all his wild geese and flights of fancy as well. In the process, I look like a total ass to the people I work with, required as I am to ask his stupid questions.

I sat down, looked up at the clock, and it was quarter to 1. I ate my fruit. When I looked at the clock again it was almost 3pm. I ate my lunch.

I was wading through paperwork when I realized it was time to go home. I finished up what I was working on and just left.

I got home and had eggs and biscuits for breakfast, because that was what I wanted, and because I got biscuits at the store this week.

After dinner, I just went to bed. I was worn out and discouraged.

I turned on Monster Quest, thinking it would put me to sleep. It was about alligators in the city of New York tonight, so of course I was thinking about Michael. After about a half hour though, the dildonicness of it all just annoyed me. There were no alligators in the sewers of New York, but they had plenty of footage of alligators - shot in Florida. There was also a good amount of footage of two dueling alligator experts, auguring over whether or not alligators could live in sewers. In addition to all of this, there were several clips of footage taken in the sewer system, showing nothing, but shown over and over again. They must have either a) not been able to take much footage; or b) not much of it came out. After a half hour, I just changed the channel. I did turn it back towards the end, when the made their great reveal - of a salamander. They made a big deal out of how *gasp* this was another animal that shouldn't survive down here!! How could they do a second season of this show? Basically, they go on a hunt and find nothing every week, then have to parlay that into a show, repeatedly using the "teaser" to hint at something they aren't going to show when they come back. OK, I won't be using that as a bedtime show any more.

I flipped over to a documentary about modern skinheads, but that was too depressing. I thought briefly about what it would be like to infiltrate the groups as a mole, but then decided it would probably be really boring. Until you got killed. We're not talking the mental cream of the crop here.

I eventually turned it over to the History Channel and went on to sleep. Yep folks, this is the life of an Internet stud. Exciting isn't it?

A post in which I am depressed*

On top of not feeling well in general.

I slept badly last night when I did sleep. I was up in the middle of the night to check my emails to see if I had heard from any of my friends about the party drama. I actually had a nice email from the victim this morning. But I woke up feeling like a cheap cotton shirt straight out of the dryer - stiff, wadded up, and out of sorts.

I slept for a while longer and felt a bit better. I think my new medicine is helping too. I arranged for a visit from a buddy this afternoon, but that didn't seem to help much with my general out-of-sortsness. I don't like it when people fuss. Particularly when I care about everyone involved.

I wanted to feel like I accomplished something today, so I baked some cinnamon raisin quick bread. I thought about Russ because he's allergic to raisins. It actually turned out much better and lighter than I expected. For some reason, pulling something out of the oven always gives me a feeling of accomplishment (I blame it on working so long in a job with no tangible results). Plus I made it in my vintage Fire King Sapphire Blue loaf pan, and it turned out so pretty that I really should have made a picture. I'll make that again. I was thinking it would be great for teas, or for a weekend breakfast when I have company. But then so many people don't like raisins any more.

I watched some telly on hulu.com, and then switched over to telly when the Tuesday night Family Guy marathon started on TBS. I was in bed by about 8:30.

A post in which I solicit opinions

As opposed to the stuff I usually solicit.

I woke up tired, and went in to work exhausted. I talked myself into going on in because I could sit down once I got to my desk. I called the doctor and had some more stuff called in.

Work was actually quiet today, for a change. I was hoping things were calming down a bit, but then I got another half million dumped on my desk this afternoon. There's just no way to keep up any more. I just did the best I could and then left when it was time.

I talked to a friend on the way home about the unfolding drama, but said friend didn't have any new insights at this point either.

I had been lusting for simosas all weekend, so I went to Saffron after work and just ordered some. I had thought I would eat those only (I was going to get a whole plate of them, but was too embarrassed to do it once I got there), but then since I was there I ordered a whole dinner along with them and just made a pig of myself. This after eating dal for lunch too. But I wanted it, I didn't feel like fooling with dinner at home, and was just like "Screw it."

I stopped by the drug store on the way home and got my new medicine. I really hope it works. I don't feel really bad as much as just drug out and really, really tired. This just sucks. I knew this junk would come back, that's why I just went ahead and called the doc.

By the time I got home I just had no wind left in my sails. I got up this morning feeling beaten, and this melt-down between my friends just kind of finished off the day for me. I waved the white flag.

I called Michael after I took my medicine. We talked for a while, and he shared his opinion. He knows all the people involved. Hearing his opinion actually made me feel more strongly about the opposite, as I'm sure would be no surprise to him. Sometimes hearing someone else makes you realize what you have been thinking anyway. I haven't made a decision yet though. I want to hear from a few more people first. A younger Steve would have just made a snap decision and plowed into the middle of the fray without hesitation. I'm apparently becoming more circumspect in my old age. That sounds better than sneaky, doesn't it?

I talked to him about the specials I watched Saturday night since I thought he would find them interesting, and then rung off. It was a long day, but I finally got to do what I wanted - I pulled up the covers and went to sleep.

A post in which I am once again in the middle

I have three fairly separate and distinct circles of friends. I have Bear friends, LOCK friends, and then I have another group of friends I have known far longer. Most of the people I know fall into one of these three circles - a couple more than one.

In my Original Circle of friends (hereafter referred to as OC friends), there are several key parties each year that the social calendar kind of revolves around. One of those key parties is coming up.

Here's the problem. The hosts of this party have suddenly decided to make this party an invitation-only affair, after years of it kind of being a kind of viral invite. There was a core group who received invitations every year, and they kind of put the word out about the date. The guest list grew by word of mouth. Friends would bring someone, who just kind of ended up coming back year after year. I was the guest of another person originally, having been invited by one of the host's friends. It wasn't uncontrollable. In any given year there were between 35-50 people.

The hosts this year made a point of telling certain invited people that this was an invitation-only event now. The problem is that at least one of my friends wasn't invited, and found out about the exclusion.

Which leaves me squarely in the middle here.

On the one hand, it's their party. If they don't want to have certain people there, they shouldn't be forced to have them there. You can't prevail upon a host to invite someone they don't want. That's rude. It feels wrong to me to turn this into a political thing and not go because someone I want to be invited isn't. I'm pretty sure they were trying to do this quietly in order to avoid just that.

On the other hand, I don't know that I would enjoy the party that much. It feels wrong to go knowing that a friend's feelings have been hurt over it and that this person (or people - I don't know who all is off the guest list) has been excluded. The hosts had to know that there would be feelings hurt over this after so many years of casual attendance. It's really hard to change the rules on something like this mid-stream.

So I don't know what to do. And I hate the feeling that I'm going to have to take sides between my friends.

There's more than one of these dramas going on right now in this circle. One way or another, it feels as if the group is splintering. I just hate that.

I've been going to this thing for years. If I'm not there, my absence will be noticed and the gauntlet will pretty much be thrown. And either way, I'm afraid the party is spoilt for me now.

A post in which it is another yucky day

I got up this morning to more drizzly yuck. I made some more Indian tea. I'm thinking about trying some pepper in it, but didn't do that today. I just read a short story by an Indian woman where she talks about brewing tea with black pepper in it, among other things. That might be interesting.

I talked to Robert when he got off work this morning and we caught up. It was good to talk to him. We hadn't talked in a while. He's all abuzz about going to Florida to meet a new love thang. I guess maybe I should look into long distance. It just seems like so much work though, plus I hate to travel. There are so many issues with a new relationship anyway, I just can't see going in with the deck stacked against me. On the other hand, I have no prospects at all right now. Maybe a long shot is better than nothing.

I turned on my beans and lentils in the crock pot. I checked messages and messed around on the computer until I knew I was going to have to eat something. I wanted biscuits, but didn't want anything bad enough to get out in the dreck to go get it.

I finally made some cheese grits. Tried some new twists on the recipe to try to use less cheese, and I have to say they turned out pretty smashing. By the time they were done, it was just about time for an old Lynn Redgrave movie called Georgy Girl to start on TCM. Although acclaimed at the time, the movie is as dated as a Polaroid at this point. It was quite late 60's-esque, with lots of emphasis on "doing your own thing", peg-legged suits, and a-line dresses. It was interesting to see Lynn Redgrave looking dowdy so early in her career when she was so glamorous later. It was also interesting to note that by the end of the movie, Georgy sells out her free-wheeling ideals and marries a man she doesn't love for money and security. I couldn't decide if this was more aggravating than if everything had miraculously turned out so she could continue a groovy lifestyle. It certainly seemed out of character for her character though.

When it was over, I took a nap. I've been tired all weekend. I'm definitely going to have to go back to the doctor on Monday.

When I got up, I decided I had to start doing some chores to be ready for work tomorrow. I put my new gingerbread sheets on the bed and washed the old ones, cleaned up the kitchen, worked on my dal, and got ready to go to the store.

I did the shopping (with fatigue hanging off me as if dragging Marley-like chains everywhere I went), came home, and worked on the dal some more. The garlic and Golden Curry I put in had made it quite tasty, but I wanted to add some more veggies. I pan roasted onions and broccoli in butter with turmeric and curry powder, then mixed them into my bean base. It turned out really delicious. Hearty from the perfectly done beans, rich from the (moderate) amount of added fat, and with layers of flavor from the spices and vegetables. It's probably the best Indian dish I have ever made. I made some brown rice to eat with it and portioned it all out. Got way more than 5 servings out of it too. I have 5 lunches for this week, two lunches portioned and frozen, some dal left over that I froze, and a bowl of it for dinner. It was really tasty and satisfying.

I watched the Fox Sunday line-up while I cleaned up the kitchen and got ready for bed. Another long week is on the way. I'm pissed that I didn't get to have any fun this weekend, but am still worn out.

A post in which I stay the hell home

I woke up this morning to realize that I probably wasn't going anywhere. It was 4:30am, but then I had gone to bed at about 8:30 last night. I turned on the tube to see what was on. Nothing, as usual. But then I remembered Miss Kat showing me how Charter on Demand works last weekend. I didn't know they had free movies on there until then. So I looked around in there, and Double Indemnity was in the TCM section. Perfect. I called it up and watched it over so I didn't miss anything. I got to see that famous scene between Doug MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck where they have that great film-noir-staccato-dialog scene. It goes back and forth just like a tennis match. It was bracketed by the one at the end of the movie. Cool.

Then I got up and made some Indian tea with breakfast. I decided I needed a change from all the coffee I've been drinking. I called Mom, and told her that I wasn't coming today.

While eating, I found in the guide that Bad Santa was coming on. This is another movie that has been on my list to see. I didn't think I would like it, but my friends did. I wanted to be able to converse intelligently about it, even if the mystic allure of Billy Bob Thornton continues to elude me - but I was wrong. I really enjoyed the movie, with the exception of Bernie Mac, but his part wasn't large enough to really bother me. I also was finally able to see what it was about Billy Bob Thornton that attracted Angelina Jolie. He turns in a very nuanced performance as a completely reprehensible man at rock bottom, about whom I nonetheless found myself caring by the end of the movie. There has to be more to him than there appears to be in order for him to tread a line so fine with the role. Plus, even as a drunken lout, he manages to be sexy. It's not his body or his face, it's just him. He has something that still remains sexy despite everything. But then everybody likes a bad boy right?

While I was watching the movie, I flipped through my Indian cookbook. I had to make something for lunch next week, and since I have been craving curry like a madman lately, I thought I'd go to the Indian market today and try my hand at making one. But nothing appealed. Then I checked the book, and online for a samosa casserole recipe. I love samosas with the red-hot intensity of a thousand suns, but they are very complicated to make. At Saffron, they do a samosa casserole for the lunch buffet that seems that it would be less labor intensive, and bit healthier. But I couldn't find a recipe for anything like it. I toyed with trying to adapt an existing recipe, but it just seemed like a lot of work to put into something that might not turn out the way I wanted. Additionally, the forecast was spot on for this weekend. It is rainy, cold, drizzly yuck outside. The last thing I wanted to do was actually go out in it, plus the recipes seemed very convoluted and complicated, and not something I really felt like fooling with.

Since the computer was on anyway, I spent a good bit of time watching videos on youtube. I was looking for the Carol Burnett spoof of Double Indemnity (called 'Double Calamity'), but couldn't find it. Eventually, I went to the cabinet to see what was here.

I have all these tons of food put up that I have no idea is here. I found some white beans I bought, and some lintels that Michael had bought, and a partial package of Golden Curry, which I decided to use to make a bastardized dal. I'm sure any good Indian woman would be horrified, but it should be tasty, and gets some stuff out of the cabinet. Golden Curry is this heavenly stuff that is kind of like Indian Hamburger Helper. You just cook up whatever you want, melt some Golden Curry into it, and it becomes a delicious curry before your eyes. The problem is that the mix is suspended in coconut oil and all this nasty fat that makes it shelf stable without refrigeration and makes it tasty. Unfortunately, it is also fairly high in saturated fat. 48 grams per package, to be exact. But I rationalized tonight. On a 2,000 calories per day diet, I am allowed to have 7% of those from saturated fat, or about 140 calories. Divided by 9, that's 15.5 grams of saturated fat per day. If I get at least 5 servings out of this batch of curry, that's only 7.5 grams of sat fat per serving (I had already used a quarter of the package). I can live with that. And maybe not feel bad about picking up a package every now and again. I put my beans in to soak with a clear conscience.

I didn't eat out today, which was good. For the most part, I ate things that were here that needed to be finished up. I decided to catch up on the blogs I follow. While I was reading Ms. Red's blog, I found an entry that fascinated me. It was about women who describe themselves as objectumsexuals. There was a link to a program in a series called "Strangelove" called "Married to the Eiffel Tower". It showed the stories of three women who fall in love with inanimate objects. Apparently primarily buildings and public structures, although one woman detailed her relationship with an archery bow (apparently a productive one, as it lead to her becoming a world-class archer), and a past relationship with a samurai sword was mentioned also. She was married to the Eiffel Tower, but apparently had dalliances with several fences, the Berlin Wall, the Golden Gate Bridge, and another bridge of less note in Germany. These women are polygamous. Another woman was in love with a carnival ride called "1000 Nachts", although she was also having an affair with a church railing, and had an ex called Paul that was an organ in the same church. If the first part of the series was unusual, the second part was absolutely surreal. They went to Germany to visit 1000 Nachts with the woman who loves him, and basically showed her making out with the ride, and lying beneath it, continuing to kiss and caress it while covering herself in "his fluids" - axle grease. They also followed the Eiffel Tower's wife to Germany to visit the Berlin Wall - staying with the Wall's wife of 30 years - they are both also apparently conducting an affair with the same bridge in Germany. She then went on to France where she was able to finally consummate her relationship with the Eiffel Tower.

The fact that they did these things didn't surprise me too much at this point. If you followed their mindset, what they were doing was a natural extension of their orientation. What shocked me was that they allowed themselves to be filmed doing it! Can you imagine allowing a camera crew to film you making love with your spouse or significant other and putting it on television? I really can't. A video for your own amusement is one thing. Broadcasting your intimacy on television is a whole new ballpark. Needless to say, the prior lives of these women were unusual. One woman had been taken from her parents by the state for neglect, and then passed from foster home to foster home, being abused and assaulted sexually several times. She was able to defend herself from an attack (while she was in the military) with a sword with whom she was having a relationship at the time. The other woman apparently had been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome a type of autism which her mother believed had contributed to her condition. But she herself was convinced she was born this way. You could see, even in pictures of her childhood though, that her father had been very distant when she was a child. That was uncomfortably close to home.

Nicole had made it a point on her blog that the objectumsexuals were all women, but I had already seen a documentary called "Love Me, Love My Doll" about Real Dolls - silicone sex dolls that weigh about 100 pounds, and can be customized with hair color, eye color, facial features, and of course breast size. In the documentary, men were living with these dolls as life partners. They cost between $8k-10k. One man had 8 of them. I didn't find anything about them on veoh.com, but on the same website, there was a link to a program in the same series called "My Car is my Lover", about men who were sexually involved with their automobiles. There are only about 12 of them in the world, but the producers were able to find two who would appear on camera. This also was fascinating to me.

Both these guys were in the US, and so they decided to let them meet by taking them to a big auto show in LA. The footage at the auto show was actually pretty hilarious if you could overlook the underlying pathos. The older guy was walking around pitching a tent. He acted less cool than I would in a room full of naked men. He also had sex with the rental SUV the camera crew was following him in, and with the other guy's Trans Am (called Todd) after they met, in the middle of the night in the hotel parking lot.

Ultimately though, both programs just depressed me in the end. It is documentation (to me) of the increasing isolation we confront in our increasingly mechanized and emotionally distant society. For some people, it is just easier to form relationships with inanimate objects than it is to reach out to fellow human beings. But then I thought, well who am I (as a good liberal) to judge? These people aren't hurting anyone. They seem happy enough. The women, in particular, seemed to be fulfilled in their relationships (they claim that their partners share their feelings by communicating with them telepathically). If you follow the logic that the psychological benefit of a relationship is primarily subjective, then these people are getting many of the benefits of a relationship, and have made a comparatively healthy adjustment to deal with their intimacy issues. I mean, at least they aren't out drowning children or carving up hookers right? Still, I found it vaguely sad. I was glad that I was chatting on Bear411 with Chip in Columbia, a nice guy whom I have met in real life, and with whom I have actually shared participative and reactive sex.

After watching those specials, I watched a couple of episodes of Family Guy online to hopefully clean out my mental filters and keep me from having Kafka dreams. I then pulled up an episode of Monster Quest about the Loch Ness Monster on Charter On Demand, and went to sleep. Yeah, and I'm looking askance at others and their intimacy with inanimate objects?