A post in which I am diagnosed

I got up this morning and started getting ready for work. I still wasn't feeling great, but I'm trying to hold on to the Christmas break I have planned. I'm supposed to be off from 12-24 through 1-3-10. The break over the holidays is usually the only "real" vacation I take. I'm more of a long-weekender usually. I took a week off in summer 07 to take a cruise, which was nice; and I took off a week last year to have surgery, but that hardly counts. That was why I got stuck working Christmas Eve last year, which pretty much sucked, but I digress.

I called my boss to discuss the contagious issue, but he's in Canada through Thursday. I sighed and prepared to stay home. I was really bored with that at this point, and I hated to use the time, but it wouldn't be fair to everyone else to give them some dread disease just before the holidays.

I was on the sofa and settling in when the doctor's office called. I have Epstein Barr syndrome. It's a complication of infectious mononucleosis (aka "mono") that I had when I was in high school. The virus has been peripherally implicated in fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome (aka CFS), there isn't any hard evidence yet. Basically, the virus stays in your body once you have it, and lies dormant. Periodically it activates to replicate a bit, but usually doesn't make you sick. In Epstein Barr, your body reacts with full immuno-response to the presence of the virus, whether it is active or not. Some people never have an issue, and some have a chronic problem. That accounts for the fever, aches, swollen lymph nodes, etc. Since I had mono over 20 years ago, and this is the first EB episode I've had, I'm hoping I can just get over this and it won't be a constantly recurring thing.

The good news is that they know what's wrong, and it could have been much worse. The bad news is that it's a virus, meaning there really isn't anything they can prescribe to make me feel better, and this can be a chronic condition. So you feel like crap, but there isn't much you can do about it. Additionally, since many insurance policies don't recognize CFS, many times related health costs are not covered. There is also a stigma attached to this as not being a "real" illness. The doctor told me to come back in two weeks if I don't feel any better. But I'm not contagious, at least.

So I got dressed and went to work. On the way there, I started thinking if they could do something in two weeks, they ought to do it now. I've been sick since before Thanksgiving, and I don't see any reason to suffer for two more weeks - through Christmas - before doing anything about it.

I set up a web profile on the doctor's website. They want to do everything possible online now, and with the way the phone system sucks there, it seems to be a good idea. It is damn near impossible to get anyone on the phone who can actually do anything, voice mails are routinely lost, etc. The nurse called me back eventually, and told me that the only thing they could really do in two weeks was test me to see if I had active virus at that time. I don't now. In the meantime, the only thing they could tell me was to get extra rest (in freakin December, right), eat well (pretty much already do that), drink lots of fluids (snore, they tell you that for everything now), and take Emergen-C. The way I feel, I was less than impressed with these options. But the nurse, whom I know very well, shared with me that she has Epstein Barr as well, and knows that this worked for her. So I'm going to try it. It's not like I have tons o' choice here.

My present to myself came today. It's a bear hoody I've been eying for a year now, but it's just too ridiculously expensive. With shipping it was $45(!!). But I always get myself a treat when profit-sharing comes in, and that was one of my treats this year. I'm also going to register for SELF, although Russ and Billy say that Frolicon is more fun. I haven't been before, and Beth will be there, so I'll probably do that.

It's kind of heady to be able to actually have my profit-sharing to spend. Even the practical stuff I'm going to spend some of it on will make life better. I'd like to get a new floor for the laundry room, or have the fireplaces tiled, or get the front porch re-vamped. I can't make up my mind which. I am going to finally rent a skip and get all of the former owners stuff out from under the house and the out building. I've been meaning to do that for, oh, only 12 years now.

They called about my windows today - they are in!! That is great, but that means I have to get the house ready for the window guys to come in. I have to pack up all the glass, move furniture, etc. I called dana, and she, angel that she is, agreed to help me on Sunday. They're coming to do them next Monday. I am excited, but at the moment the thought of all the work getting ready is putting a damper on it. Everything just seems to be piling up.

I invited myself over to Miss Kat and dana's house tonight despite how tired I was. I hadn't been anywhere fun this past weekend, and I wanted to see friends. I could rest sitting at their house, I rationalized, just as well as I could at mine.

Their house is all torn up because they are still working on their kitchen, bless their hearts. I know what a pain that is. But it looks great, and they were happy enough to take a break and visit for a while. It was great to see them. I'm burning the energy reserves I laid up this weekend, but right now it feels like its worth it.

A post in which I continue to stay home

Well it was more Fishville and internet today. There was crap on TV. I was tired of being home.

But I had stuff I have to do. I'm assuming that I'm going to work on Monday, but I'm going to call and talk to my boss about it. I don't know what I have or if I'm contagious or not, so I don't know if I should be there or not. How I feel really has nothing to do with it at this point.

So I dozed this morning, and fooled around on the internet for a bit.

I cooked up some spinach alfredo that turned out distinctly bland. I didn't have enough garlic in the house, and didn't feel like going to get any. Plus I didn't put enough butter in it, partially because I was out and partially because I've been eating garbage for three days - take out pizza and Chinese. What I wanted, but I could have eaten better stuff. I always want junk food when I don't feel good.

They ran "The Presidents" on the History Channel. I LOVE when they run that, and if I watched (or even listened to) one more mediocre Christmas treacle special, I was going to turn diabetic.

I did some wash.

And then I turned, at long last, to the Christmas cards I've been putting off doing. I did them all, stamped all the domestic ones, and took them to the post office. I went as much to get out of the house as to actually just get them on their way. It was very foggy out, and I got that little smidgen of agoraphobia I get when I've been by myself too long.

It was really foggy out, and surprisingly not that cold. I got the cards on their way, got home, and hit the hay.

It all starts again tomorrow folks.

A post in which I follow doctor's orders

I spent another day on the couch today, mostly.

I alternately snoozed and messed around on the computer. Despite sleeping all night, I slept most of the morning too. But I had stuff I needed to go and get. dana would have gone to the store for me if I had asked, but I figured by this afternoon I would be stir-crazy, and I was right.

I narrowed the bedspread choices down to three, but can't decide between the three. They all have disadvantages, most notably that none will coordinate with the new fabric I've had to make new valances for the bedroom for about five years now. It's beautiful fabric and I'd really like to use it.

Lion in Winter came on TCM this afternoon. It is one of the movies I have been waiting to see, so I made sure I was up and able to watch it. It was excellent. The dialog crackled with intensity, and Katherine Hepburn was at her absolute best. Peter O'Toole and a very young Anthony Hopkins were no slouches either, but she stole pretty much every scene she was in. She was amazing.

When it was over, I made my trip out. I had gotten ready and rested while the movie was on. I had my list. I went and ran three errands. I was gone about an hour and fifteen minutes. I was exhausted when I got home.

The weird thing about being out on a Saturday night in December running errands is that there is no one else out doing anything. Everyone is at a party of some kind. I'd never noticed before because usually I'm at a party too. There were like six people in the grocery store and I was one of them.

When I got home, I had a little pity party because this is the first year since I have known Donnie (at least fourteen years) that I haven't been at his Christmas party. It's the first thing that goes on the calendar in December. I distracted myself by eating a late supper (I was starving when I got home) and went to bed.

A post in which I am not diagnosed

I got up this morning and called the doctor first thing to make an appointment. Then I called my boss and talked to him. He told me to get diagnosed and then we'd work out a plan.

At the doctor's office, I once again got priority status, although they didn't put a mask on me this time.

The nurse who took my vitals asked for my symptoms, and then said "I think you just have a rash." I was like, where? She told me that it was just my lymph nodes that were swollen up so large, and I told her that I'd had swollen lymph nodes before, but that they never looked like this.

The doctor came in and told me that mumps vaccine provides like-long immunity, which I suppose I should have known. I felt like an ass then for talking with the nurse from my point of certainty, but she didn't tell me about the immunity, which would have saved us both time and aggravation. The doctor says she doesn't know what's wrong, or if I'm infectious. They took blood to test and told me they would get back to me by next Tuesday. In the meantime, I'm to get plenty of rest, drink fluids, and treat the symptoms.

I went home and laid up on the sofa. I called my boss and left him a voicemail explaining what was going on.

I signed up for a game on Facebook named "Fishville". You get to keep a virtual aquarium. I was engrossed in that for a while, and then shopped online for a new bedspread until my neck hurt too much to keep my head up any longer. I slept most of the afternoon. And waited.

A post in which I become alarmed

Coffee was uneventful this morning. The tree was still there, but I knew what it was today.

My secret plan for putting off doing Christmas cards tonight involved wanting to eat something before I went home. I knew that there was nothing in the fridge to eat for supper, so I decided on a whim to stop at a new Chinese place on the way home from work. It wasn’t a buffet though, and I didn’t want to take the time for a menu meal, so I left. On the way out, and trying to think what was close and fast, I went ducked into a shopping center and remembered that I’ve been meaning to stop on the way home since Thanksgiving to pick up a mattress pad. I also desperately need a new comforter/bedspread/something to go on the bed. The comforter on there now is so disgusting that I won’t fold laundry on it, and it can’t be washed. I was also flush with cash after Dad paid me back for the elfin I’ve been doing for him lately. I delivered the two gifts I had for Eve to him last night.

I found an excellent deluxe Seally mattress pad at Ross’s for $23, but no bedspread. I wandered over to the Marshall’s home store to look at theirs. Walking through the store, I stumbled across those fabulous toffees that Miss Kat had last Christmas. I had thought they were caramels. Anyway, when I went to see her last Christmas she had gotten them as a gift and had just opened them. I tried one and WOW. Then they left the room to chase down the dogs, leaving me alone with the toffees. I was at first just eating one at a time, but ended up diving face down into them like Miss Piggy or the Cookie Monster. I kept wishing they would come back and stop me, because I knew if they left me there I would eat the whole thing. So I picked up a couple of containers (at $9 each!!) because I was embarrassed to buy more than two. But I’m going back for the after-Christmas sale. Because that’s what I need in my diet – more candy.

They had exactly what I wanted in the bedspread section – a quilt that was antique-y looking, machine washable, in the size I needed. Unfortunately, the color would have seared out the retinas of the aesthetically sensitive; kind of a nuclear lime green design. I decided to look online.

As I was resolutely headed home to eat a sandwich and work on Christmas cards, Nicole called. I hardly ever see Nicole, and I adore her, but out schedules just do not usually coincide. She had finished exams, and wanted to get together. Now there was a heaven-sent excuse to put off Christmas cards for another night. We made plans to go out for something scrummy for supper, and have a visit.

I’ve been tired, out of sorts, and generally feeling off since before Thanksgiving. But I’ve been keeping on. As I drove home to meet Nicole tonight, I felt my neck. It is blown up to huge proportions, like an elk in rut or something. When I got home I looked up mumps online. I have all the symptoms. I know I was vaccinated as a child, but don’t you have to have boosters? I’m freaking out. Thank goodness I don’t have to worry about infertility, anyway. Although, I have occasionally thought about donating to a sperm bank…

But I digress. The worst part is that the mumps is a virus, and has a run course of NINE days! I can’t be out of work for nine days right now! Donnie’s party is Saturday night! It’s the height of the Holiday crap!

I tried calling Nicole, but couldn’t reach her. When she got to the house, I met her on the porch and advised her of my condition. She called a doctor she knows personally, and he verified the diagnosis. But Nicole has had her shots – she just got back from England last summer, so I figure she’s had all her boosters and stuff. Like a trooper, she was game for dinner anyway. So we went out for Mexican and she came back to the house to visit for a while.

But I was fading. After she left, I called Dick and Eve to tell them about the possible exposure, but Eve has already had it. Because I was feeling worse, I went ahead and called Donnie and cancelled my RSVP for his party. Dammit. First time in about fifteen years I won’t be there.

I then crawled gratefully into my bed. I was bushed.

A post in which I discover that I am a nosy neighbor

I slept for about 10 hours last night. I was very surprised to wake up just before the alarm when off instead of the usual 2 hours or so before.

I made my coffee and went out to sit on the porch, as usual. It had really rained last night. My porch was soaked, and I had to dry my chair off before I could sit down. When I looked over at my neighbor’s house, I could see someone sitting on their porch, hunched over. I was surprised. Since the ballerinas work at night, they aren’t morning people. I called out to see if the person was OK, but got no reaction. I decided that it must be one of the girls talking on the phone, which is what they are frequently doing on the porch. But they were so still. No person could be that still. It has to be something left outside, I told myself; but I couldn’t figure out what it could be. I then made out feet under the bottom of the chair. (My eyes aren’t the best at a distance of over about 6 feet, and it was still fairly dark out.) Then I thought what if something is wrong? What if Frankie is crying? I fretted about and weighed giving them their privacy against my concern. I don’t want to be a nosy neighbor, and generally I’m not. Finally I decided that nothing could have happened that offering a fresh cup of coffee would hurt, went inside, put my shoes on, and headed over. When I got about half-way over there, I realized I had been worrying about an artificial tree leaned up against a chair. I decided that it would be OK, and went back to finish my coffee.

Work was rough today, but smoothed out later. I was really still glad when it was time to go though.

My tactic for putting off Christmas cards tonight was to go see Dick and Eve. I had some elf gifts I had gotten for Dad to give to Eve to deliver, plus I wanted to show them the outfit I got for Grandma Shumate. They both liked it. Dad was worried about it buttoning up the front, but I figured she has help, and better to unbutton another button to get it on over her head than mush her hair. I’ve done my best. I hope she likes it.

Eve got take-away from Fried Green Tomatoes for supper, but she got me Crowder peas, which is one of the few vegetables I really don’t like at all. I ate them anyway. I rode to the shop with Dad to get a pie one of his employees had made for him. She is a very sweet woman, and worries that Dad is craving for something sweet since he’s been taken off all sugar, but since he’s supposed to be on a diet, I don’t know that she’s doing him any favors. The pie is sugar-free, but still had calories in it. But I guess he has to eat something. He’s lost about 18 pounds, Eve told me last night.

I was glad to get home and get into bed. It was a long day.

Tomorrow, Christmas cards for sure.

A post in which I am freezing

I woke up to more rainy, drizzly yuck this morning. At 5am. I have a toe that is hurting. I guess its arthritis or something, I don’t remember hitting it; but it hurt badly enough last night to wake me up a couple of times. I just got on up and had my coffee. I went to the store for cigarettes. I’m becoming more of an addict than I really want to acknowledge. It started off that I wanted that first one with a cup of coffee in the morning only. That’s really the best one for me. Then, because the cup of coffee was so big, I started smoking two. But during the week that’s usually all I smoke. Unless I go to see Miss Kat and dana, or Russ - then all bets are off.

When I finished with coffee, I still had some time before I had to start getting ready, so I went on line and finished up some on line shopping for a few things. I balanced my checkbook. Then I got ready for work.

I’m off from 12-24 through 1-4. The problem is that my boss still has the &^%$#@!! weekly meeting scheduled for 12-30. The three-day week following Christmas, because yeah, there’s going to be so much going on that week that he’ll need to keep abreast of. Right. He is a man obsessed, I'm telling you. The woman who usually covers for me on the rare occasion that I’m out on meeting day is going to be out also. So I’m going to have to find someone to cover for me and teach them how to do this increasingly difficult report, which is going to be a waste of time anyway. But Little Boots has spoken! If I can’t find anyone, and he starts talking about my not being able to be off during the week, it’s gonna be ON.

In other disappointing news, I did some research on the ABC Family Channel website today, and it looks like I'm going to miss The Christmas List again this year. I love that dumb ole movie. Just after they made it, they aired it like five times a week during the season, but they have apparently fallen out of love with it. Despite it's big and vocal following on line, they are airing it only three times this entire season. Twice it was aired in November, and then they are showing it once more on 12-23; but during the day, and I have to work that day. It isn't available on DVD - they are the keeper of the keys. That is just a pisser. Like I need another obstacle to the gymnastics of rationalization I already have to do to justify watching a network that also airs The 700 Club.

I am not usually cold-natured, but my feet were like blocks of ice all day today. That just makes you miserable. I tried all the little tricks I can use at the office for cold feet, but no dice. I’m thinking it’s that concrete slab they rest on. Even with the heat running and carpet over it, if it’s really cold outside that slab never really warms up. If this keeps up I’m going to invest in one of those foot-warmer things from CVS or something. I’ll have to smuggle it in and hide it under my desk. HR sent out a moratorium on personal heaters last month, and while this technically wouldn’t be a heater, it would be best if I kept it quiet.

At the end of the day it was still raining, overcast, freezing, and dreary. I thought about stopping off on the way home to get a nice hot meal, but didn’t feel like getting out of the car to go in anywhere. I wanted to go home and put my slippers on, even if it meant eating a sandwich for dinner. That’s exactly what it meant. But what a sandwich! I had the last of the left-over furkey, basil pesto mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, pickled onion, Swiss cheese, and fakin’ bacon, topped with homemade German mustard sauce (courtesy of one of Mom’s co-workers), piled on the last of the sourdough bread. So it wasn’t exactly a parsimonious sandwich. Then I had some popcorn and a piece of chocolate pound cake out of the freezer. Weight and triglycerides be damned, I had been miserable all day.

I was supposed to do cards tonight, but I just didn’t feel like doing anything. I had worked all evening last night on chores, plus I was so tired all I really wanted to do was go to bed and be warm. But I couldn’t very well go to bed at 7:30. I tried to watch a couple of Christmas specials, but nothing was really hitting home. Then I saw a new one was airing on ABC, called Prep & Landing. I decided to tune it in. It was really cute, and I enjoyed it. It’s the first new Christmas special I can remember enjoying in years. After that I got ready for bed. I tried to watch the insipid Miser Brothers Christmas again, but it was no better than I remembered it being from last year.

I pretty much just lay there, glad to be inside, in my clean-sheeted bed, and warm. It nastier outside than it was when I got home, and judging by how much the heat was running, it was colder too. I turned telly over to South Park, snuggled up in my nice warm bed, and was asleep before the commercial break was over, the rain ticking on the aluminum-covered window sills outside.