A post in which the rest of the clan gathers

I knew today was going to be a long day. We got up and had coffee. We relaxed a bit - I had forgotten how hard it was to get Lisa and Co. ready to go.

The family visitation was at 3:30 today. We made it in time, but it was fairly close. It was a really good thing we had the house to get ready in.

When we got to Granny's the Virginia relatives were all there. With their kids. It was controlled pandemonium. Granny said she wasn't going to the viewing, so we went on without her.

When I was younger, I thought viewings were barbaric, and I always swore that I'd never have one. Now that I've gotten older though, I've been socially conditioned to expect it for some reason. Lisa didn't go. Cole had said he was going, but changed his mind. Which was fine. My Aunt Donna wanted to go because the last time she saw him had been when he died in the hospital. She thought it would make her feel better to see him fixed, but it didn't seem to work. Mother was tearful, but holding it together pretty well. I just kind of stayed with her.

They had put a stuffed dog in the casket with him. After the stroke, he wanted something in his hand all the time. When someone was there, they would hold his hand. My little second cousin heard about it, and picked out a stuffed dog to take to the hospital so he wouldn't be lonely. When no one was there, they put the little dog in his hand and he held on to that. They put it in his hand in the casket.

After the viewing, Mother told me on the way home that Granny had said she wasn't going to the funeral. They didn't really know what to do. On the one hand, you have to let people handle things in their own way. On the other hand, she was holding hard onto denial, and we knew she would feel bad later if she didn't go. She had refused to go see him in the hospital because she was clinging to the belief that he was coming home, and already felt bad about that. They finally decided that they would just act as if they assumed she was going (asking her what she was going to wear, etc) and go from there. That seemed to work.

When we got back to the house, she had apparently started to let some of it out. She had cried some with Lisa and Cole while we were gone. Cole is a sensitive and earnest boy. He really thinks about things. He was really subdued. Adding to this was that he had played with some of the Virginia kids when we had family stuff before, but they are old enough now to be at the awkward stage. They're all macho woods kind of boys and he isn't, plus they all see a lot of each other. He felt kind of excluded. I decided to take him off for a while.

We went to pick up some things we needed at Grandma's house. Lisa wanted some bottled water, stuff for the baby, etc. So we picked that up. We also went to see Grandma Shumate at the home. I knew she would enjoy a little extra visit. I was later told that she had been expecting us, so it was a good thing we went. She was all fixed up in a nice outfit with her hair all done when we got there.

Afterwards I took Cole out to dinner. There were just cold cut trays at the house, which didn't leave a lot for me to choose from - I had been eating tomato sandwiches to the point that I needed something else. Cole doesn't eat a lot of that kind of stuff either. We went to a buffet place up there that is very popular. It was good to get a big salad and eat some vegetables, among other things. We also fixed a plate to take back to Lisa. They were having fried chicken, cole slaw, baked beans, etc for dinner, and she doesn't eat any of that stuff.

By this time Ava had gotten to know the other babies that were there, and they were having a large time, running around, delightedly screaming at each other. The house was packed with people. It was both a blessing and a burden for Granny. On the one hand, it was a distraction, and she enjoyed seeing the family. On the other hand, it was a huge kerfuffle and I'm sure it was getting on her nerves. But she was in the thick of it.

We stayed until about 10, but then I rounded up Lisa and reminded her we probably needed to get on to the house and get the baby down. The funeral was at 12:30 the next day, and I knew it would be a struggle to get them all ready in the morning and there on time. Carl was there by this point, so he came on to the house with us.

We all got to bed some time around midnight.