A post in which I give in

I had terrible nightmares last night. I was watching a twelve year old sociopath kill his family, one by one, by shooting them. He couldn't harm me, but I couldn't save them. All I could do was watch him kill them. It was pretty awful. I was glad to wake up.

I had a very productive day today, and made All Move To My Will.

I didn't work out today because I decided I felt too tired from allergies. That must be what it is that's dragging me out so badly.

I went to Garden Ridge tonight in search of hat stuff yet again, but I can't find what I want, and I'm sick of fooling with it at this point. I'm either going to be inspired by something a the flea market Saturday and do the hat in a day, or I'm going to just use a hat that I have at the house already. I've said for years that I'm going to take a year off and just wear this particular hat, but have never done it. This is seeming like the year. I just waited too late to get started because I wasn't sure I was going, and now I can't find what I want and it's too late to order anything. I'm going to have to be much more on the stick for desserts for the camp out next month.

They had free lunch at work today, and unusually had something really healthy. Stir-fried vegetables with rice and chicken. By the time I got in there, the chicken and rice were gone because none of the "Ranch Dividians" (as Anna has christened those of the very un-enlightened palate I work with) would eat the vegetables. At issue was the addition of steamed soybeans, called edamame. Half of the office thought they were lima beans, and the other half became horrified that anyone would feed them soybeans. Sometimes I living here just makes me tired. I enjoyed the veggies - good thing since I guess they'll never do that again.

Anyway, there were plenty of healthy veggies left for me, which I bastardized by washing them down with root beer, and eating the dessert, which was sherbet cups in the most neon colors I have ever seen sherbet in. Tasted fine, but looked like a cross between day-glow poster paint and nuclear waste. By the time I got out of Garden Ridge, though, I was ravenous. I succumbed and stopped in at the Ni Hao buffet and stuffed my face with cheap sushi. It was good, but my pants have finally started getting a bit loose, and I'm worried I'm sabotaging myself. Plus it violates my "no eating out without socializing as an excuse" rule.

I went by the library and dropped some things off on my way home, then went to CVS.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted, but didn't want to go to bed so early. I watched a special on Chuck Jones on Charter On Demand. What a sweet, unassuming, and kind man. It was sad when they gave his birth and death dates at the end.

I went on line a bit, to change out my pics on Manhunt to something with a bit more class. I was surprised at the number of nicer-sounding guys on there. Maybe this could be the compromise between the picket-fence fustiness of Match.com and the all out ho-fest that is Craig's List. We'll see I suppose. The same 5 guys in Greenville have been signed onto Bear411 for the last year, apparently. And I know why they're single - at least the ones that are single.

Maybe I don't need to find me a man. Maybe I just need to settle down with a nice woman who understands. Dad would be thrilled anyway. It's not the horny that gets to me, it's the lonely. Andrew Holleran said it in Dancer From the Dance - my heart is horny.