A post in which I get back into the swing of things

Today wasn't as bad. I'm seeing my desk again.

We had free lunch yesterday, and Anna made a salad that was so delicious it's all I've been able to think about eating. I went to the store after work to get salad since I was craving it so badly.

One of my ballerinas next door came over to see me tonight. Fortunately I saw her headed up the walk and had time to pull a pair of pants on. It was the new girl, the roommate, Josha. She wanted to find out who mowed their grass, and make sure I wasn't upset with them. She was afraid I might have mowed it out of exasperation (it was pretty bad). I told her about Danny's visit. She was tickled. I also told her they could borrow my lawn mower. Apparently Frankie is having car problems, and they don't have the cash to plunk down for even a used mower. Starving artists and all you know. They're sweet girls though.

After that I ate a HUGE Caesar salad and went to bed.

A post in which I get back to the office

Although I wished I hadn't when I got in. My desk was a nightmare. I had the calls to catch up on, 11 new clients to process in, and the weekly report to do. I also had a talk with my boss about problems I'm seeing with another department. To reward my vision, I was saddled with a huge report to prove my assertions. Sigh. It was a long, bad day. By the end of it I had a terrible headache.

After work, I went to the Chinese buffet and stuffed myself. Exactly what the magazines say you should NOT do. Then I went to Whole Foods and bought $40 worth of designer groceries I can't afford. Of course it doesn't take long to spend $40 there. They have a fantastic cheese section, and when they get to the end of a block of cheese they wrap the small bits left and sell them for a dollar or two - brilliant. You can try a new one for only a dollar or two, instead of buying a big piece of an expensive cheese you might not like.

I returned triumphantly home and read until bedtime.

A post in which I stay home

Although I guess I shouldn't have. I got up this morning with every intention of going to work. But just. Couldn't. I was just too damn depressed.

I was lying on the sofa, kind of half watching a movie, when I heard a mower in the yard. I looked out the window and it was Danny, my friend Kim's husband, mowing the grass. He had just pulled up, unloaded the mower, and got to work. That was one of the things that I was going to have to do today. He just told me he figured that I wasn't going to feel like fooling with it, and he was already out mowing grass today. For good measure, he mowed the next-door neighbor's yard too - said it looked bad. Frankie is still living there with a roommate, and they still don't have a lawnmower, so they hadn't mowed their grass at all this year. Frankly, it did look bad. They are sweet girls though. Danny is such a sweetheart. When he got done, I poured him some tea and we sat on the front porch to drink it. He told me about his father dying recently. He and Kim are good people. I should see more of them.

I didn't really do much the rest of the day.

A post in which I get things in order*

There was a lot I needed to do today. But I needed some rest too. I've been hard at it for the last several days. I just feel in need of some quiet.

I slept until about 11.
I watched some mindless telly, and fooled around on line for a bit. I talked to a really nice guy that I'd like to see again.
I took my suit to be cleaned - it had makeup on it.
I went by the library to return some things.
I went in Red Ribbon resale, since I don't get over there much when they're open. I found something for Justin, and he begged me not to buy it.
I hauled off the recycling.
I made a good dent in the mountains of laundry, changed sheets, and stuff like that.
I did cat stuff.

Lots of people feel the need to use sex to prove they're alive after a death. It works pretty well even if you know why you're doing it.

I did laundry and made tea and stuff like that right up until bedtime. I need to be able to pick up the reins tomorrow.

A post in which I have a brutally long day

I knew today was going to be hard. I got up at 7am, took my shower, started straightening up the house, and ironed my clothes. That way I could just help Lisa's family get ready when they got up. None of them are morning people. When they got up, I made some breakfast (mostly for me, they don't really eat in the morning), and cleaned up the kitchen.

I got Cole's clothes and ironed them so he was ready to go. I had put him through the shower last night to make one less shower this morning. Organization just isn't Lisa's strong suit. While I was working on the back part of the house, Lisa and Carl had trouble brewing in the front half. I got dressed, packed my stuff, got Cole dressed, and took Cole on over to Granny's house with me, leaving them to finish and get over there in their own time.

Lisa has a requisite hour with a towel on her head before she goes anywhere. Since she had the towel on when we left the house, I could estimate their ETA.

I got to Granny's. Lisa and Carl pulled up a bit after, and we all went over to the funeral home. I found out when I got there that I was a pall-bearer, which was a surprise to me. I've never done that before. There was visitation from 12:30 to 1:30. At first, it seemed like the time would take forever to pass. But Mom's friend Maureen came, and my Aunt Phyllis came in. It was good to see them. I sat beside Granny for a while. They had brought her in in the wheelchair, and then put her in an armchair. There was another armchair beside her that was empty, and it just seemed wrong. I just sat down beside her. I never go to a funeral and ask "How are you doing?" That has always seemed the height of stupidity to me. I know now though that sometimes it's enough to just be near someone, so I just sat beside her.

The Obituary

And then suddenly they were taking the flowers out of the room and we were headed to the graveside service.

Being a pall-bearer wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It's kind of good (oddly) to feel like you're helping in some way. It was 90 out, and I was in a dark suit, but I didn't really notice the heat. When I hugged Mother after it was over, she said "Baby, you need to get out of that suit - you're too hot."

When we got back to the house, we changed and had a bit of lunch. I talked to relatives I haven't seen in years and years. I hadn't seen my youngest cousin in a long time, and we found out that we have some surprising things in common. We had a long talk. I always thought it was horrible to have a family reunion when someone had died, but now that I'm older, I understand it better I think. You renew the ties. You remind yourself that the family is intact, and you come together to support each other. You remember the good in being together when you have lost someone. It seems right to me now.

Kind of like funerals. They do no good to the one that is gone of course. But they give you something to do to feel that you've done the right thing. The worst part for me was kind of feeling adrift on Friday. As soon as mother called me and told me where to be, I had a function. I had a direction for what the right thing was to do. That helps.

Lisa's family and I left to go see Grandma Shumate. She's very much all about Ava Claire, her namesake. When we came in, her first question was "Did you bring the baby?" Of course we had. We went into the "living room" visitation area at the home, and talked a bit. We didn't really have to talk much, because Grandma was watching the baby. Ava, always the charmer, was already wound up. She went through her whole repertoire of things she says, ran all over the place doing cute things, sat on Grandma's lap, gave her a kiss - the whole nine yards. So Grandma had a good visit. I think we wore her out though. By the time they announced dinner at 5, she was ready to go eat. I took her on to the dining room.

We went back over to Granny's, visited a while, and then said our goodbyes. Mother and her sisters were staying over, but I wanted to be home. I left about 7:30. I was still kind of on auto-pilot. I did the trip home without even any music on. I had a lot of stuff to think about and start processing.

Everyone had someone there with them today but me. It's times like this, when I would really love to lay things down for a while and let someone else be in charge, that I really feel alone. On the one hand, I guess I need to get used to doing this stuff on my own. On the other hand, I am lucky to have so many people who love me - I don't have to do it all alone. I felt like being with my support group tonight. I called Russ and Billy on the way home, and went to see them. When I called Mother to tell her I was home, I really felt like I was. It was good to talk things through with them and empty my head out for a bit before I went home.

I had no time to cry today. I had to get ready, then at the funeral home I had no one to cry with. I was trying to be strong for Mother yesterday, and Rod was having a hard time today (he has been widowed only two years). I couldn't cry in front of Granny - she was upset enough. At the funeral I was a pall-bearer. And then of course the rest of the day I had places to go. I had thought that I might cry at Russ and Billy's, but by the time I got there I just felt wrung-out and used up. I was too tired to cry.

I crawled in to the house and went to bed.

A post in which the rest of the clan gathers

I knew today was going to be a long day. We got up and had coffee. We relaxed a bit - I had forgotten how hard it was to get Lisa and Co. ready to go.

The family visitation was at 3:30 today. We made it in time, but it was fairly close. It was a really good thing we had the house to get ready in.

When we got to Granny's the Virginia relatives were all there. With their kids. It was controlled pandemonium. Granny said she wasn't going to the viewing, so we went on without her.

When I was younger, I thought viewings were barbaric, and I always swore that I'd never have one. Now that I've gotten older though, I've been socially conditioned to expect it for some reason. Lisa didn't go. Cole had said he was going, but changed his mind. Which was fine. My Aunt Donna wanted to go because the last time she saw him had been when he died in the hospital. She thought it would make her feel better to see him fixed, but it didn't seem to work. Mother was tearful, but holding it together pretty well. I just kind of stayed with her.

They had put a stuffed dog in the casket with him. After the stroke, he wanted something in his hand all the time. When someone was there, they would hold his hand. My little second cousin heard about it, and picked out a stuffed dog to take to the hospital so he wouldn't be lonely. When no one was there, they put the little dog in his hand and he held on to that. They put it in his hand in the casket.

After the viewing, Mother told me on the way home that Granny had said she wasn't going to the funeral. They didn't really know what to do. On the one hand, you have to let people handle things in their own way. On the other hand, she was holding hard onto denial, and we knew she would feel bad later if she didn't go. She had refused to go see him in the hospital because she was clinging to the belief that he was coming home, and already felt bad about that. They finally decided that they would just act as if they assumed she was going (asking her what she was going to wear, etc) and go from there. That seemed to work.

When we got back to the house, she had apparently started to let some of it out. She had cried some with Lisa and Cole while we were gone. Cole is a sensitive and earnest boy. He really thinks about things. He was really subdued. Adding to this was that he had played with some of the Virginia kids when we had family stuff before, but they are old enough now to be at the awkward stage. They're all macho woods kind of boys and he isn't, plus they all see a lot of each other. He felt kind of excluded. I decided to take him off for a while.

We went to pick up some things we needed at Grandma's house. Lisa wanted some bottled water, stuff for the baby, etc. So we picked that up. We also went to see Grandma Shumate at the home. I knew she would enjoy a little extra visit. I was later told that she had been expecting us, so it was a good thing we went. She was all fixed up in a nice outfit with her hair all done when we got there.

Afterwards I took Cole out to dinner. There were just cold cut trays at the house, which didn't leave a lot for me to choose from - I had been eating tomato sandwiches to the point that I needed something else. Cole doesn't eat a lot of that kind of stuff either. We went to a buffet place up there that is very popular. It was good to get a big salad and eat some vegetables, among other things. We also fixed a plate to take back to Lisa. They were having fried chicken, cole slaw, baked beans, etc for dinner, and she doesn't eat any of that stuff.

By this time Ava had gotten to know the other babies that were there, and they were having a large time, running around, delightedly screaming at each other. The house was packed with people. It was both a blessing and a burden for Granny. On the one hand, it was a distraction, and she enjoyed seeing the family. On the other hand, it was a huge kerfuffle and I'm sure it was getting on her nerves. But she was in the thick of it.

We stayed until about 10, but then I rounded up Lisa and reminded her we probably needed to get on to the house and get the baby down. The funeral was at 12:30 the next day, and I knew it would be a struggle to get them all ready in the morning and there on time. Carl was there by this point, so he came on to the house with us.

We all got to bed some time around midnight.

A post in which I head home

I didn't really know what I should be doing. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to be when I got up today. I was up at 4:30. Since I didn't know, I just went through my morning routine. I knew I had to go to work for a bit to tie up some stuff for month end, so I went on in to the office early.

Mother called me about 10am. She was heading up today, and told me to come up. After that I just kind of went into auto-pilot. I finished up what I needed to do at work, came home, threw some things in a bag, and headed out.

I worked out for Lisa and me to stay at Grandma Shumate's house, since there is no one there right now anyway. The water heater was broken, but my uncle went in and fixed it today so we could have hot water and get ready there.

I went straight on to Granny's house. I got there before Mom and Lisa. Lisa was riding up with Mother. They were supposed to leave at 8:30 this morning, but when I talked to mother at 10 she was still waiting on Lisa to get there. When I talked to them at 11:30, when I left my house, they were loading the car. Lisa got a speeding ticket on the way to Mom's because she was so late. They got there about a half hour after I did, in time for a quick bite before they went to the funeral home to make the arrangements. Granny wouldn't go. By that time the family was arriving. She told Mother and her sisters to go and make all the arrangements, that whatever they picked out was fine.

They didn't get back from the funeral home until after 5 - too late for me to call the office and give them the details.

Cole and I were dispatched to go to pick up some supper for everyone, which we did. Chicken and stuff. While we were eating, my grandmother's sister-in-law came in with a strawberry cake (made from scratch with real strawberries) that was so good I wanted to take her home. Granny's brother JV is in bad shape and is pretty much house-bound at this point.

We stayed and talked with the family until around 9. The baby needed to be put to bed, plus we had to unpack everything, so we went on to Grandma's.

When we got there, my aunt had been in and made all the beds, stocked the refrigerator, and left us some rice crispy treats on the counter. All we had to do was unpack and go to bed, which was a mercy. Lisa and I talked until late.

A post in which Poppy Brown is gone

Poppy Brown

I just talked to Lisa, and she told my Poppy died this afternoon. She called me because Mother is too upset to be on the phone right now.

It's a terrible thing for Granny, but honestly, he was in such bad shape that it was almost a mercy for him. In the last month he'd had shingles, the medication for which left him with a GI bleed. To stop the GI bleed, they took him off his blood thinners. When they took him off the blood thinners, he had a massive stroke. The best case scenario here would have left him paralyzed on one side of his body. He was already very impatient with being legally blind. It would have been terrible for him to be bed-ridden. When they went in to put in a permanent feeding-tube today and aspirated some fluid from his lungs, his blood pressure dropped to the point they could not raise it again. His kidneys had shut down last weekend, and his blood pressure dropped rapidly then too, but they put him on drugs to get it all going again then. Sometimes I think these new miracle drugs can be a curse.

Granny doesn't know yet. They're trying to get her sister, my Aunt Kathleen, to go over there to talk to her so she doesn't have to hear about it over the phone.

Poppy led a full life. He was married to Granny for 60+ years. They met when he drove a tractor past her house. That was a big status symbol in the small town they lived in. She was out in the yard with her sisters, and the prettiest one.

They were dating steadily (Granny had quickly thrown over her other beau to go out with Poppy) when he was drafted to fight in World War II. They married then. He missed her so much during basic training that he went AWOL and came back on the train before he shipped out to see her.

He bought my grandmother a bottle of Chanel No 5 perfume every Christmas.

He served his country as an Air Force pilot, and was the only one serving who was allowed to fly with glasses.

He came home after the war, and moved to Florida with my grandmother, settled down, and started a family. Three girls. My Aunt Kay, the eldest, my mother, and my Aunt Donna, the baby. They eventually decided to move back to Wilkesboro, NC. He had grown up on a farm and was no stranger to hard work. He went to work for Lowes building large commercial chicken coops. The work was blisteringly hot in the South Carolina low country and surrounding area. He came back to the cool mountains where he had been born and raised on the weekends.

He soon moved up to the sales department at Lowes, where his natural gift of gab and friendliness, as well as his reputation for hard-work and integrity made him a top salesman. He still knew half the town, even after being retired for years. The ones he didn't know personally, he knew their relatives. We never went into Lowes without someone who knew who he was helping us.

He built my grandmother a beautiful farm house with a complete kitchen in the basement so she would be cooler in the summer when she did her canning. He kept a small "gentlemen's farm" with a few cows, some chickens for fresh eggs, and whatever other animals took his fancy. He usually had a couple of horses, and showed Tennessee Walkers briefly. When the grandchildren came along there were ponies and goats. He also kept a garden, and grew his own vegetables and fruit, along with flowers. He had grapes and made his own wine.

He retired from Lowes, having worked hard all of his life, and prepared to enjoy his retirement. He bought an old house in town that had seen better days, and single-handedly gutted and restored it to its former glory. He re-modeled, re-wired, re-plumbed, sheet rocked, painted, and papered it until it suited Granny. They settled in to enjoy a retirement of travel and friends. Shortly after that, however, he lost most of his eyesight from a latent illness he had picked up years before. By the time it was diagnosed, he had 20% vision left in one eye. Always the handyman, though, he could feel his way through most routine jobs that had to be done. It was very frustrating for him when he couldn't do things, because he'd been able to do pretty much anything he wanted all of his life.

I'll never forget going shopping with him and my grandmother, and him getting me away from them to tell me he wanted to go to Sears. So off to Sears we went. He wanted to buy a chainsaw so he could prune the apple tree in the yard himself. I was trying to figure out how to talk him out of this when my mother caught us and put her foot down. He was legally blind by that time, and in his 80s. But he could probably have done it if he had gotten away with it.

He had an amazing sense of direction. Even years after he lost his vision, you could get out on the highway to take him somewhere, and he would know exactly where you were. When you got close to where you were going, he could tell you that the exit coming up was the one you needed to take, which way it was, and the name of the road.

He loved flowers. Even when they still lived on the weekend farm he kept while he was working for Lowes, he grew his own carnations. When they moved to the town house, he rooted cuttings from his prized rose bushes to move with them, and set out rows of exotically colored irises - many of which most people had never seen. He put out fruit trees in the yard. He could grow anything.

He never had to face life without my grandmother. He never had to go into a nursing home. He's been in his own home up until about two weeks ago. He passed with my Aunt Donna, his youngest daughter, holding his hand. All his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren loved him. He had the respect of the town he lived in. That's a pretty good life.

He was always a snappy dresser. He got up every morning and was fully dressed in slacks, shirt, and dress shoes, and smelling of after-shave, before my grandmother got up. I can still see him sitting in his chair in the den, waiting for the day to start.

He was a good, hard-working, honest man. I love him. And I'll miss him.

A post in which I get in the kitchen

I worked my butt off today trying to get all the write-offs done. My boss decided he wanted to clean out my work list this month. I hate doing write-offs. It’s very boring and difficult at the same time. But I got them all done but two. That’s pretty amazing as many as I had to do this month.

I heard from an old friend last week through Manhunt. His name is Javier, and we sniffed around each other a bit at the time, but nothing really came of it. He emailed me today and told me he would come by tonight to see me after work. I didn’t mind, but I had stuff to do tonight.

I talked to Laura today on the way home. She and Kimbley weren't at the Hat Party because they were still recovering from another party they had been to on Saturday. So they are fine, which I was glad to hear.

I ran by the library on the way home, then got in the kitchen and started cooking. I was making Grandma Shumate’s Chicken Delight tonight. I haven’t made it in a while. Of course I don’t make it exactly the way she did, but it still has the same comfort food feel. I put a lot more vegetables in mine. I had leftover celery from making all that egg salad last week, so I did celery, onion, bell pepper, carrots, green soybeans, fake chicken, and broccoli. I was afraid I got too much wine in it (Grandma would be very upset if she knew I put wine in her good Baptist Circle Group recipe), but it turned out good.

Javier came by just as I got it ready to go in the oven, so that was pretty much perfect. We visited and caught up for a while. It was good to see him. He’s all married now, and seems pretty happy with his lover. I was glad for him. He did tell me how much weight I had gained since he saw me last, which made me slightly less happy for him. I exercised some restraint, and didn't point out that he wasn't exactly Jack LaLanne himself.

After he left, I cleaned up the kitchen, finished up the apple pie with some ice cream (I’d had another big salad for dinner, but it was going to go bad right? This is why I don’t keep sweets in the house.), and turned in. I had planned to read some more tonight, but by the time I got everything done it was too late.

A post in which I take the night off

Today was back to work. It went pretty well, and I was almost caught up by the end of the day. You always pay for that day off.

After work I went by the grocery store. I cheated for lunch today and too burritos, and had really intended to cook tonight. By the time I got home though, that wasn’t going to happen. Plus I started a really great book today – A Kiss of Shadows by Laurell K Hamilton. I haven’t read a bunch of her stuff before, but I’m really enjoying this one. She certainly paints a very vivid mood, if her descriptions are a bit purposefully artsy for me at times. Then again, it’s difficult to write about sex magic that begets faerie power, I guess. This would have been a good book to read in the run-up to the campout next month.

So I gave myself the night off, had a big salad for dinner, and read my book tonight.

A post in which I spend way too much money*

I had taken the day off today to recover from the Hat Party, but after the last couple of days, I really needed it!

I woke up about 5:30, had some more pie and ice cream, and went back to bed. I woke up about 10 or so, and started shifting around. I had some stuff I wanted to get done today, but then I got on the internet and ended up having a buddy come by.

After that, I had some lunch, and did some stuff around the house. I finally got ready to go out about 2:30. I was running errands when it occurred to me that I could go by Red Ribbon Resale today, the AIDS charity shop over near my house. I love going in there, but they are only open during the week when I’m at work. I did notice today that they are open a half Saturday each month now. I did a good rummage there, and at another thrift shop across the street, but didn’t find anything.

Being out bumping around made me think about my old friend Michael, so I called him. He was working, surprisingly. I didn’t think anyone cut hair on Mondays. He said for me to come on by after work and we’d go to dinner. I ran through the Chinese Market to pick up some stuff, but when I got it home, it didn’t seem I needed any of it, except for tamari and rice wine. I had enough rice wine left to do one batch of Korean Pickles, but after that I would have been out. Since summer is coming, I know I’ll be making those pickles – they’re one of his favorites – so it’s just as well. I now have 5 bottles of oyster sauce though. I have to quit buying that stuff.

By the time that I put all that away, fixed my hair (I wasn’t wearing any product), and thought wistfully yet again that my shelf paper in the kitchen desperately needs changing, it was time to head for Mauldin to meet Michael.

The little salon he works in is tucked kind of back. Thank goodness for GPS.

We ran by the Mauldin produce stand first. I hadn’t been by there in a long time when they were open, and they were supposed to have some lime/pepper jelly, but they didn’t have it. I got a jar of plain pepper jelly. But that’s not as good. We both got some tomatoes, since they actually smelled like tomatoes. The last ones I got from the flea market were chewy! I’d never had a chewy tomato before. They were about as appetizing as they sound.

From there we went on to Garden Ridge. The one thing I wanted to do today was to get a glass trap frame for my Koko Taylor flier and ticket stub. We got it there. I also found a couple of other things I had been looking for for the house. I’ve gotten to the age now that when something wears out; I want a replacement exactly like the one I’m used to. Sometimes that’s tricky. New throw pillows for the sofa continue to elude me, however.

By the time we got out of there we were hungry. We ran by Target and I got a couple of things. Then we went on to the K&W for dinner. That was fine with me. I had a big plate full of grease and starch, topped off by chocolate pie. It felt kind of like coming full circle after starting the day with pie.

We made a half-hearted run through Old Tyme Pottery, but we were both full and pretty bushed by that point. I spent about $80 today, which I really didn’t need to do. I headed home, put everything away, framed my flier, and put it up in the bathroom. It looks great.

A post in which I attend the Hat Party

I had a nap and was fresh for the hat party. It was cool and overcast, but didn’t rain too much.

Russ was excited about getting his hat there, and was worried about being on time. He and Billy had to go to Billy’s mother’s birthday luncheon today. I called Dan’l and talked to him though, and he said that the judging wouldn’t start until about 5. We were there in plenty of time, and then of course the Parade of Hats was delayed, as always. Which was fine. I was there for the party anyway.

Russ wearing his Sweeney Todd hat during the Parade of Hats - I am in the background in the Carmen Miranda hat. We all look fatter than we really are in this picture. This was a fat camera for some reason.

There were some serious hats there this year. Russ got First Runner Up for Original for his Sweeny Todd hat. It was a great hat. He was a bit pissed about the guy that won. It was his first party. His hat was very tall, with movie stuff like popcorn boxes and balloons all over it. He had a confetti cannon in it, but he didn’t shoot it off until after he had done the parade. It was big and flashy though, and that’s what gets the votes. He got a bit cocky about just walking in and taking a category, and I did have to remind him that he was talking to a twice-throned Most Flawless, and not to get too carried away with himself.

Dan’l’s hat was an elaborate diorama of Sunset Boulevard. He had re-created the stairs from the movie, complete with burgundy velvet tasseled curtains and carpet. It was HUGE. He was obviously gunning for Most Flawless again, but got beaten out by a guy with another diorama hat. His was a huge film reel, with a drive-in on top of it. There were little cars facing the drive-in. The screen was set into the Hollywood Hills, with the Hollywood sign across it. He had an iPod mounted into the hill as the screen with a Madonna video playing. It was pretty elaborate.

I don’t remember who won Funniest. I voted for the woman who won First Runner-up. She had an Anna Nicole hat that was pretty damn funny.

I saw both Karens, and was very glad to see them. Of course I saw all the regulars, except for Kimbley and Laura, who were suspiciously absent. I hope they didn’t stay away because of the drama, but then they shouldn’t, since Donnie and I were there. Dan’l was as nice to me as ever, as was Jim. No mention was made of the swing incident, or the drama. I felt a bit uncomfortable about going originally, but when I got there, everything was just like always.

I spent most of the time on the side porch, talking and visiting with people as they came through - although I scrupulously avoided the freshly re-mounted swing. I had a great time. I wore my old Carmen Miranda hat, and was pretty pissed that I was accused of wearing my hat from last year! I mean, it was a recycled hat, but I wouldn’t wear the same hat to two hat parties. That’s tacky. I did feel a bit bad because Eddie Crane showed up in a Carmen Miranda hat too, and although he had made it for the party, it wasn’t as good as mine. We have showed up in similar hats before. He has never won a prize. Dan’l ended up giving him the hanging basket he won for placing.

I did make occasional forays through the house for some lobster dip they had made that was absolutely smashing.

It was a lovely party, as always.

A post in which I disregard any discretion or class*

I got laid so good this morning, we should have named it.

A guy I met on manhunt. And he's funny and good to talk to. We talked about music and went to Gene's for lunch afterwards.

I mean, probably nothing will come of it. But damn, this morning sure was wonderful.

Since it seemed a day for appetites to be sated, I went and got an apple pie too. I've been wanting it for about a week now. Since ice cream was on sale for $1.99 a half gallon, I got some of that too. Caramel Caribou, my favorite. The pie and ice cream was pretty orgasmic as well.

I am such a hedonist.

A post in which I go to the Red Party

dana called me this morning to tell me again how much she enjoyed the concert, which I thought was very nice of her.

I was lazy. Really lazy. I couldn't be bothered to do anything. I was going to the flea market this morning to see if anything struck my fancy as far as hat construction, but then I got up, peed, and slept until 10:30, so that didn't happen.

I slept in. I took a nap. I really needed to clean up pressure-washing stuff, but I didn't.

I eventually did shift my ass to straighten up the house a bit, since Terry was coming to stay tonight. About the time I got out of the shower, though, I had a message from him that he wasn't coming. Apparently his mother had to go to the hospital, but he didn't leave any details. I didn't mind. It was starting to look like Whitney Houston lives here, and it was high time I did some straightening up.

I had talked to dana about going over there tonight, but I called Billy to talk to him because I haven't seen him in about a month. He was in London for two weeks. They were going to Dean and Scott's Red Party tonight. I don't even remember getting a Red Party bulletin this year. I decided to go with them. It had been too long since I had seen them.

When I got to the house, they were working on Russ's hat. He's got a great one this year.

I talked to Mom before we left. Still no change. She's going to the hospital tomorrow - she's been staying with Granny. She told me to just go on with my weekend as I would anyway, and she'd call me if she needed me.

Of course Russ had a couple of other people going. Brian and Vince went with us, both sans their lovers this evening. As usual, Dean and Scott always have an interesting mix of people. There was one cute little straight boy that everyone was kind of mooning over. He was very cute, and a nice guy. But hello, he was practically embryonic. Not that that would matter to one of the guys there, who basically came close to confessing to being a pedophile. He said he is strict about obeying the age limit laws because he doesn't want to go to jail, and of course that is a good thing, but he was creepy. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of young guys go for him. He's not that attractive, doesn't appear to be particularly wealthy (it happens), not that entertaining, and he's kind of fat. Most men who are into younger guys are really scrupulous about maintaining their youthful appearance and looking younger than they are. Not this guy. And of course it is a total dysfunctional and hypocritical gay reaction to find it more creepy because he wasn't attractive. That's fucked up, I recognize. But we were all pretty much creeped out.

Billy got TORE DOWN. He was as drunk as I have ever seen him. Between outrageously flirting (well, dry humping to be technical) with Vince, he talked and laughed loudly - even when Brian went into catty mode and said some pretty bitchy joke things about him. That's just Brian's style. We closed the place down (at like 10pm) and headed home. Russ and Billy have a birthday luncheon for his mother tomorrow, and then the hat party is tomorrow afternoon. So it's a big day coming up.

A post in which I see a living blues legend live

Poppy is still hanging in there. Mom and her sister Donna are there. They have been waiting for status, but the doctors say the next 24-48 hours will tell the tale.

I had the house pressure-washed today. It looks really good, but it knocked a lot of paint off the windows and my rockers, so there's a lot of re-painting to do. Which needed doing anyway, of course, only now it's a lot more obvious. Plus my old windows don't seal like they should. When I came in the house, debris and water had shot in the window frames when he washed them. Not good, but it can be cleaned up.

Tonight was the Koko Taylor concert at the Peace Center. I got the tickets for Christmas, so I'd been waiting to see her for months. It was pretty awesome just to be in the same room with her, breathing her air.

It was AWESOME!!!!

But it was also a bit weird. Koko is 81 now (and still performing!!) which is a small miracle in itself. For 81, she put on a helluva show. She's still belting them out. But I think it was easier for dana to get into it than it was for me. I had heard some of these songs from recordings when she was in her prime, but I don't think dana had. Don't get me wrong, I'm taking nothing from the woman - she put on a show - but she of course doesn't have the strength and delivery that she did back when.

It was also odd that she had a Japanese lead guitar. We found out later that he was filling in for a band member who was ill. He was very talented (well, he sang a few songs, and his voice wasn't that great), but once again, it was just odd.

Additional oddness was from the choreography. Cause Koko was out there feeling good - which is what the blues is all about sometimes. She was feeling good, and going with it, and that's great. But still there were moments when I realized afresh that the woman up on stage doing a bit of the hoochie-koo is 81 freakin years old. So while it was very cool to be in a room with a living legend breathing her air, it was at the same time frankly a bit surreal. I was torn between the awesomeness of it and the inherent humor of seeing a woman of her age a-vampin us. Still, it was a very enjoyable evening. She knew that the people there to see her were there because we love her, and she was happy to still be doing what she loved, and happy that people still came to see her. At one point, and enthusiastic audience member yelled "I love you Koko!" She said back "I love you too, baby. I love everyone in this room. Cause everyone in this room is a fan, and paid money to get in that do'. And I love all of you." The concert was as much a celebration of her as it was about the music. And good blues is of course about going with the spirit of the moment - bringing it out and emphasizing it. It was great.

The other oddness came from Greenvillians, who seem to delight in finding novel ways to express their lameness. First, there were like eight black people there. I didn't know there were that many white people in Greenville county who knew who Koko Taylor was. Apparently they didn't advertise in the right places, because they should have been able to fill the place easily. So first of all, this one guy (wearing about a pint of Polo cologne, incidentally) ran up and down the aisles all night taking pictures, after they had specifically said no pictures or cameras were allowed. I don't mind someone snapping a discrete pic for a momento, but this guy was running up and down the aisles stepping on people and went right up to the stage while she was performing, set up his elbows as a tripod, and focused and all. It was to the point that he was annoying people and was pretty obnoxious anyway. During her final number (before the encore) there was a couple up front shagging. Shagging. To Koko Taylor. I turned to dana and said "I have never felt so white in my life." So kudos to the Greenvillians for showing up to see Koko Taylor at all, but their lameness while there takes away some princess points in my mind.

When dana and I got back, we got tore down some more. Afterwards, Justin called me about some great movie he was watching on TCM. That's great and all, but I told him I was just too black to watch that kind of thing at the moment.

A post in which Poppy is not doing well

I found out today that Poppy, my Mom's dad, had a massive stroke last night. They have taken him to the regional hospital. It doesn't look great. But I've learned not to count the old guy out. He's a member of the greatest generation. He grew up on a farm, fought in World War II, lived with Granny for 60 years - I adore her, but that wasn't a picnic. The man is tough. He's 87, and sailed through colon cancer and a bowel resection two years ago. So we'll see.

In the meantime, I took the mature way out and went to Miss Kat and dana's house tonight to get tore down.

A post in which I give in

I had terrible nightmares last night. I was watching a twelve year old sociopath kill his family, one by one, by shooting them. He couldn't harm me, but I couldn't save them. All I could do was watch him kill them. It was pretty awful. I was glad to wake up.

I had a very productive day today, and made All Move To My Will.

I didn't work out today because I decided I felt too tired from allergies. That must be what it is that's dragging me out so badly.

I went to Garden Ridge tonight in search of hat stuff yet again, but I can't find what I want, and I'm sick of fooling with it at this point. I'm either going to be inspired by something a the flea market Saturday and do the hat in a day, or I'm going to just use a hat that I have at the house already. I've said for years that I'm going to take a year off and just wear this particular hat, but have never done it. This is seeming like the year. I just waited too late to get started because I wasn't sure I was going, and now I can't find what I want and it's too late to order anything. I'm going to have to be much more on the stick for desserts for the camp out next month.

They had free lunch at work today, and unusually had something really healthy. Stir-fried vegetables with rice and chicken. By the time I got in there, the chicken and rice were gone because none of the "Ranch Dividians" (as Anna has christened those of the very un-enlightened palate I work with) would eat the vegetables. At issue was the addition of steamed soybeans, called edamame. Half of the office thought they were lima beans, and the other half became horrified that anyone would feed them soybeans. Sometimes I living here just makes me tired. I enjoyed the veggies - good thing since I guess they'll never do that again.

Anyway, there were plenty of healthy veggies left for me, which I bastardized by washing them down with root beer, and eating the dessert, which was sherbet cups in the most neon colors I have ever seen sherbet in. Tasted fine, but looked like a cross between day-glow poster paint and nuclear waste. By the time I got out of Garden Ridge, though, I was ravenous. I succumbed and stopped in at the Ni Hao buffet and stuffed my face with cheap sushi. It was good, but my pants have finally started getting a bit loose, and I'm worried I'm sabotaging myself. Plus it violates my "no eating out without socializing as an excuse" rule.

I went by the library and dropped some things off on my way home, then went to CVS.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted, but didn't want to go to bed so early. I watched a special on Chuck Jones on Charter On Demand. What a sweet, unassuming, and kind man. It was sad when they gave his birth and death dates at the end.

I went on line a bit, to change out my pics on Manhunt to something with a bit more class. I was surprised at the number of nicer-sounding guys on there. Maybe this could be the compromise between the picket-fence fustiness of Match.com and the all out ho-fest that is Craig's List. We'll see I suppose. The same 5 guys in Greenville have been signed onto Bear411 for the last year, apparently. And I know why they're single - at least the ones that are single.

Maybe I don't need to find me a man. Maybe I just need to settle down with a nice woman who understands. Dad would be thrilled anyway. It's not the horny that gets to me, it's the lonely. Andrew Holleran said it in Dancer From the Dance - my heart is horny.

A post in which I feel yuckky*

I had terrible insomnia last night, and woke up feeling crappy.

I did do a good bit today though.

I did laundry, which badly needed doing. I made a batch of egg salad out of the rest of the eggs. I also finally set up a profile on "manhunt". Everyone I know is already on there, so I figured why the heck not. When I got on and started looking around, it wasn't as trashy as I figured it would be. Trashy, yes, but not as bad as I thought it would be. Lots of young guys though, and about 80% of them are tops - just my luck. Still, it was interesting.

I also watched Elizabeth with Cate Blanchette today. It had been on my "to watch" list for a while, and I noticed it on the free section of Charter On Demand the other day. Miss Kat should get royalties from them. That is so the only reason I still have them hooked up in my house. The movie was excellent. Very dramatic and dark. It wasn't sugar-coated. Joseph Fiennes is so beautiful he made my teeth hurt. I am petty enough that there was a part of me that found his character's humiliation gratifying. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. Maybe I'm turning into a bitter old man. At any rate, he certainly is leading a charmed life in real life, so it isn't like he was really hurt or anything. He's pretty enough to be one of Angela's husbands. I wonder if she's ever dated him? I hope that I'm not turning in to my dad. Please God, don't make me need to denigrate something just because I can't have it.

It was raining yet again this morning, but cleared up by the afternoon. I turned out pretty. Maybe we'll have some pretty weather, although it's supposed to rain Sunday on the hat party.

A post with the latest picture of sweet Ava

My darling angel baby niece Ava in her flower hat. She usually wears it as a necklace.

A post in which I think about hats

I shopped all the way home today. I was looking for hat stuff, but I didn't find anything inspiring. I don't know how much of that is me, and how much of that is the fun kind of being sucked out of stuff by drama.

I did go in the "new" (for me) Old Time Pottery. I hadn't been in there before, because I thought you just went in there to paint your own ceramics. James had told me differently. He made a beautiful mug there, but told me there was a bunch more stuff too, which was true. It's kind of like Garden Ridge, or the old Waccamaw that closed. I did find some good stuff, but not what I was looking for. I didn't buy anything, but I took notes.

I also went to Michael's, WalMart, the Dollar Store, and Hobby Lobby. By the time I got home I was famished and tired. I didn't eat out though. I had some remnants of egg salad, along with some other odds and ends, and went on to bed.

A post in which I have a late lunch out*

I woke up when Terry left this morning. I said good bye to him, ate a sandwich, and went back to bed.

I woke back up a bit after 11. My phone was making the text noise in the kitchen. I saw that a buddy had texted me, and wanted to come over. He got here, and then spent a half hour in the bathroom. After he left, I surveyed the carnage. Between him and Terry the bathroom was trashed. I remember some of the downsides to living with someone now. Apparently the simple twisting motion of wringing out a washcloth eludes the average North American male. Products were strewn pretty much where they had been dropped, and the cat litter the cats had tracked out in the night had been mixed with water and ground into pasty smudges stuck to the linoleum. I just didn’t have the fortitude to deal with it for the moment though.

I made a spot of lunch, checked my email, and turned on telly. I actually got dressed to go out and run some errands, but the couch sucked me in and I never made it to the door. Since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory came on, I ate my Easter chocolate cross. It only had 400 calories in it, and that is less than two Reese’s eggs. Or so I rationalized.

I was lying on the couch, dozing in and out in between watching parts of the movie, when Miss Kat called to ask me out to lunch with them. Did I really need to eat more? Hell no. But I would have to eat at some point anyway, and it would get me out of the house. I loaded up the car with a bunch of errand stuff and headed out.

They were actually a bit late, but it was such a pretty day it was nice to just sit on the porch in a rocker and wait. I called Dad while I waited and asked him about some ammo that dana wants. Of course he asked me a hundred questions that I had no answers for. He and Eve have apparently pretty much lived at church this week with all the Easter stuff going on. They went to Wilkesboro today to get Grandma Shumate and take her to church. She was so excited she was up at 5am to get ready, but then she got sick with her inner ear and had to go back to bed. She wasn’t able to go. I know she was really disappointed about that. Bless her heart. So they ate the lunch they had brought to her house, visited with her for a while, and headed for home.

We ended up eating lunch around 4:30 or so. Afterwards, Miss Kat charged me with getting my errands done, and I was happy for the extra motivation, which I sorely needed. I ran some errands, picking up a new dish drainer en route, which was long overdue. It did go down in the sink (after some persuasion), but it’s pretty crappy quality. I can’t find a good one that will fit in the sink, and it’s pissing me off.

I had been to the grocery store, so when I got home I started laundry, and got the bathroom up to code for a human residence again. By the time I got all that done, I was pretty wiped. I had a snack, and called Mom and talked to her about how Poppy is doing and how her weekend went. Then I turned on some Charter on demand and turned in. I was too tired to be annoyed by Monster Quest.

A post in which I have friends in, and am delighted

I woke up this morning at 8:30, unbelievably. But I wasn’t very happy about it. Despite the fact that the need for sleep was hanging on me like a tired child, I had to get up and go to the flea market. The yard is disgraceful, and I don’t even own a lawnmower at the moment. So I hauled myself out of bed and got dressed. I walked around while I was there, but didn’t see any glass today, except for one small Fire King ramekin in the Sapphire Blue that I collect. It was over-priced, but I bought it anyway.

When I got to the lawn mower guy, he had two left. And they had gone up from $60 to $70 – I suppose that is the price of procrastination. I bought the mower, loaded it up, and got it home and unpacked without too much trouble. Then I went back to bed.

I woke up a bit after 1pm, ate something, and headed reluctantly to the yard. I was as awake as I was going to be. I mowed the lawn (mowing the dog lot for the first time since I lived there, thanks to JB and Rick), trimmed up the bushes, and did a half-assed weeding job on the bed beside the front walk. By that time, I was really dragging. But my yard looks about as good as it ever looks. I had some tea, did a few house things and took a shower.

After that though, I decided I didn’t want to stay home tonight. I don’t know why. This would have been the perfect at home evening. I was tired. Terry was coming at 9 when he got off work to stay the night. But I haven’t seen Billy in several weeks. I called, but they are at Frolicon this weekend in Atlanta. I called dana to see what she and Miss Kat were up to, and they were free. So I mixed up a big bowl of (fabulous) egg salad (all I was missing was celery), had supper, and headed their way.

They are having problems with Jack. He is one barky Westie, and he’s driving them crazy. He’s a nice enough dog, just barky and noisy all the time. He’s worse when there’s company over. We eventually decided to go to my house.

That turned out to be a great idea. Terry came in, and we all got to visit together. Surprisingly, Terry and Miss Kat had an acquaintance in common. I got out some wine, and we had a bottle of Pinot Noir I had gotten from Total Wine a while back. It wasn’t as good as the red I had last weekend, but I am developing a taste for reds.

It was so good to have some people in the house! It has seemed so empty for so long. It felt great to have friends in and get some good energy in there. After they left, Terry and I stayed up and talked until about 1:30. I haven’t had a good visit with him where we just talked in a long time. He actually picked up some stuff on me (Terry does Tarot readings, and sometimes picks things up on people). He’s seeing me meeting a dark-haired guy named Randall or Randy, but who goes by a nickname, within the next 3-4 weeks. He says this is someone with whom I have the potential to get serious. It would be nice to have a date at least.

Eventually, we reluctantly headed for bed. He had to be up for work in the morning, and I haven’t been very kind to my body this weekend.

A post in which I attend and egg-dying party

I had my meeting with my boss today to go over my major accounts, only to have him tell me he now wants detailed status on every account. Grrr. I got to work. I had planned an easy day for myself today, and it was really hard to stay motivated. It was rainy and gray, and half the office was out for Good Friday. But I kept plugging away and made good progress.

It was also hard to focus because I was really excited about the party tonight. I hadn’t seen James and Jeff in a while, and I wanted to see Amanda again too. I like her even if she is a picky eater. Plus Anna was going with me tonight, and I was looking forward to that. It does me good to see her out and about with people. We talked twice today and she seemed really stoked.

I had brought half the house with me to work today. I had workout clothes, shower stuff, party clothes, the salad, my lunch, my briefcase, and I dished up some of the red jacket potatoes to take up for Amanda. It was quite a production coming in. But everything was set up to run this evening.

I got off work, hit the guy, showered up, changed, and then headed to Anna’s to pick her up. As usual, we talked our heads off all the way to Spartanburg. It seems like we just always have so much to say. She is so smart and funny. She is getting less self-deprecating as well, which is good.

When we got to Justin’s, he and Amanda had obviously been waiting for people to arrive. Amanda was unexpectedly subdued the whole evening. I wondered if Anna being there had anything to do with that? I also found out when we got there that Amanda doesn’t eat potatoes (who the f*(&^ck doesn’t eat potatoes??), so that effort was for naught. Justin had all the food laid out. We sat around and talked for a while, then started eating when James got there. The asparagus was perfectly cooked, and my salad turned out really good. Everything was good. There was ham and cold turkey, pasta salad, rolls, and two kinds of fruit salad. Anna had made a delicious mai tai fruit salad. All of course served on vintage 60’s dishes. Anna fit right in with the group, seemed comfortable almost immediately, and settled in to enjoy herself. She and James pretty much fell in love with each other.

James is investigating the possibility of using the egg dye package as a feedbag here, I think

Jeff trickled in..

While we were eating and talking, Jeff trickled in. We talked for a while longer, and then decided to start dying eggs. I hadn’t done that in years and years, but it was a lot of fun, even if my eggs didn’t turn out that great. Amanda was unexpectedly meticulous and spent a lot of time on hers. They turned out really pretty. James’s seemed to turn out pretty by luck rather than good management, and Anna’s were nice too, and very interesting. There were prizes for everyone though. Amanda won the top prize, which she really deserved. I got the prize for “best attempt”, which is pretty much like the "participation" trophies they give you at special camp, but I got a chocolate cross, so I wasn’t complaining.

Justin getting ready to dye eggs

I have no idea what the hell Anna was saying here - note Amanda remaining demurely in the background, no doubt quietly plotting key egg strategy

There was a big discussion about what to do with the eggs when we got done. Justin was trying to get people to take them home, and they didn't seem to want to. James didn't know what to do with his. I just stepped in. I am not proud. I love egg salad, boiled egg sandwiches, etc. I ended up taking several dozen eggs home, but I don't think I'll have a problem using them. I don't usually eat that many because of the cholesterol, but I couldn't stand to see them go to waste, which makes an eggcellent rationale to indulge in huge amounts of egg salad.

Egg judging begins

Serious egg evaluation going on

Jeff and James at home

After the eggs were done and the prizes awarded, we went down to Jeff and James’s apartment to visit. We got to see their dogs, and the painting they had done in the apartment. We listened to music and talked some more and ended up watching funny youtube videos on television until late. I got home at 4:30! It was a great evening though, and I really had a good time.

A post in which I spend an evening in the kitchen

My boss was out today. It was kind of like a little vacation. It seems as if he’s always looking over my shoulder now.

I got my work done for our meeting tomorrow, worked out, and headed for the library. I picked up a book I had ordered and then went to the store. I had to get salad fixings. Justin kind of sprung on me that he wanted me to bring a side dish for tomorrow. He’s having ham, but I couldn’t bring potato salad (the official Easter side dish for ham) because he doesn’t eat anything with mayonnaise. I decided to make a couscous salad I copied from Garner’s back when they used to sell food. It’s really good.

I got home and started cooking, stopping briefly to throw some dinner down my throat. Justin called while I was cooking to ask what I was making and then told me that Amanda wouldn’t eat that (&^%$#!! picky eaters!! Makes me nuts.) I guess she can eat a ham sandwich.

By the time I finished up the salad and cleaned up the kitchen, I was bushed and it was time for bed. Still, nice to spend an evening in the kitchen cooking for other people. I haven’t done that in a while.

A post in which my hole is plugged

I was up at 2:30 this morning. I finally got back to sleep about 4, after having to eat something else. I didn't eat enough dinner last night. That makes for a rough morning though. I had to get it in gear today because I had Wednesday reports to do, plus I had to get ready for the handyman to come before I left. I managed to get to work pretty much on time, which was a small miracle.

It was a fairly average day at work. I'm breaking in a new guy to doing the Canadian numbers, and had to goad him a bit, but fortunately I had time for that today.

Alan (the handyman) called this afternoon to tell me he was done with the raccoon hole, had used the materials I had there, and that I owed him a very reasonable amount of money. He had already left the house and told me I could just mail him a check. I was very pleased, but still somewhat disbelieving. He is at least a very nice guy. I hit the gym, then went by the post office on the way home and mailed his check so he would get it tomorrow. Then I went home to view the work. It was a great job - you really wouldn't even notice the patch unless you knew where it was. I am thrilled.

I kind of felt bad for making him drive over for such a small job, but I'm going to have him pressure-wash the house next week, and I'm going to get him to paint the windows for me. That will pull them through another couple of years and give me time to put a roof on the house. He does window replacements too though, and I'm thinking I may start on that and just do a couple at a time. I'll have to ask him about doing that as well. I am tickled to find someone who actually wants to work, and doesn't charge an arm and a leg just for showing up. It is a weight off my mind to no longer have to worry about critters in my attic also.

I triumphantly consumed 1,400 calories for dinner, in hopes of sleeping through the night tonight. I feel thinner when I exercise, even if I'm not.

A post in which I finally move my ass again

I was up at 4:30 this morning. That makes for a long day. I had some coffee and a smoke, and tried to become un-bleary.

After a round of nit-pickery with my boss, I got down to work. It wasn’t a bad day overall. I got a lot of loose ends tied up today. At quitting time, I hit the gym for the first time in a month, and headed for home.

I put on my flop clothes and relaxed a bit.

Terry dropped by unexpectedly, but it’s always good to see him. He had his niece in tow. She is a tween now, and just cute as a button. Apparently she has a bit of a crush on me – much to my surprise. I didn’t even remember meeting her before. It was flattering and kind of sweet though. Terry is going to be staying with me some while he gets ready to move. He is working long shifts on Saturdays, and staying at my place will save him a long drive back to Easley after a double. I’ll be glad of the company frankly.

The new handyman Russ recommended called today. He’s going to come fix the raccoon hole tomorrow – yay! It’s turning out to be an expensive week, but at least I’m getting some stuff put to bed.

A post in which I get my car squared away

I got up and called the dealership today, since I figured if I had to have a new rim the tire place would have to order it and they would get it more quickly. I was really worried I had messed up the rim last night, so what should have been just a patch job would end up costing a whole lot more. Big O said it was OK to come on in. Of course they wanted me to leave the car, since the dealership wants you to leave the car to have a wiper blade replaced. Since I had the wheel off the car anyway I just left them the wheel. That actually made things a lot easier.

They called me later in the day to tell me that the wheel was fine. I was very relieved that I got to the gas station in time last night. The problem was that the tire service broke the bead on the tire putting it on. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was on purpose, or if they gave me a damaged tire. They were pretty pissed when I told them I wouldn’t pay $70 extra for the replacement guarantee they were hocking. I suppose that’s just cynicism on my part, but I don’t think I’ll be buying any more tires from them.

It turned out the tire from the dealership was about the same price I paid a supposed “discount” tire place. So it was $130 to get it fixed. Yes, that’s a lot of money, but it had to be done anyway, the tire couldn’t have been patched, and it’s worth it at this point to be able to stop worrying about my damn tire all the time.

And a good thing too, since I was invited to an egg-dying party in Spartanburg Friday night. Justin's giving it. I’m pretty stoked about that; it should be fun.

I had an email from Mom. Poppy has been suffering from shingles, and the medicine they put him on for it ate a hole in his stomach. As a result, he had a gastric bleed he had to be hospitalized for. They took him off the medication and he’s improving. He may get to come home by Thursday.

Work was fairly quiet up until the end of the day, when I had to have it out with the account from hell. My boss set up a special deal for them, and they’ve been trying to sweeten it by increments ever since. We had to draw a line in the sand today, and they yowled like stuck cats. But I was able to put it to bed before I left. I had to eat lunch at my desk today so I could leave in time to get to the dealership before they closed.

After I picked up my tire, I went on to the grocery store since I hadn’t had time to go this weekend.

I got home and cooked up a pot of red potatoes with olive oil, garlic, and rosemary. I had those at a benefit last year and they were really good. Plus I had some rosemary that Petal had given us all for Christmas, and I wanted to use it. They turned out delicious. I finally have the secret to red potatoes. You have to use extra water because they soak up so much. If you don’t, they turn out really dry and gloppy. These cooked up plump and tasty.

As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I realized I forgot to get any fruit, so I had to get dressed and go back out to the grocery store. But I was home in no time. It was after 9, and there was no one there.

When I got that straightened out, I went on to bed. After getting in late last night and then the busy day today, I was pooped.

A post in which I head for home, eventually*

I took Cole to Starbucks for coffee first thing today, after we woke up a bit. That is kind of our thing. While we were out, we ran by Panera and picked up some breakfast. I love those baked omelet things they make, and Cole tried one and apparently really liked it. I didn't tell him that they have 800 calories in them. He worries a lot about his weight (at 14, for heaven's sake!). I guess that's natural having lived around Lisa. She's always on a diet, and always talking about how fat and ugly she is, despite being 5'6", about a size 6, and gorgeous. Plus he's seen my dad, and heard Mom and I talk about our weight so much. He's a sensitive boy, and really takes things to heart. He doesn't even have a hint of a weight problem, but I can tell it's on his mind. He eats just like Lisa. No mayo, sauces, etc. He's the only kid I have ever seen order broiled fish and steamed vegetables in a seafood place. I guess it's good that he's starting to eat healthy young, but when he's worried about something, you only see the tip of the iceberg. It kind of bothers me.

We took Mom a muffin back to the house, and waited around while she got ready. We headed to the flea market a bit after 9. I was champing at the bit, just a bit. 9 is pretty much the prime glassing hour, and I was ready to get there. The #1 flea market has proved a rich hunting ground in the past, and I had the fever today. I had woken up thinking I'd like to find a nice piece of crystal Colonial glass today, for some reason. Usually the feeling isn't that specific. It's usually counter to my glass luck too. Most of the time when I'm sure I'm going to find something I don't. That appeared to be the case today. I did see some things, (a ruby red sugar bowl, a pretty cool milk glass compote where the stem was a fish, a piece of shell pink, and of course a good bit of paneled grape, which I am begging myself not to start collecting) but nothing I really wanted to buy. Lisa called and we were going to make plans for lunch, but they wanted us to drive back out to Chapin to go and then go out on the boat with them today. I didn't have time to do all that, and Mom wasn't really into driving back out to Chapin today.

We left the #1 and decided to go on to the Barnyard in Columbia, which is right down the street. There was a painting guy there, and I found a couple of things that I liked, but didn't fall in love. Mom looked too but didn't buy anything. She is really in need of some pictures for her living room. I went through her paint swatches last night and helped her pick out a color. She's told me she's ready to paint in there, but she's like me. She's been telling me that for at least a year now. She isn't home enough to do stuff around the house now. She stays on the road, either to Granny and Poppy's, or off with Rod.

At Barnyard I finally scored. I walked into a little clutter glass booth and sure enough, there was a Columbia saucer I dug out of a pile of miscellaneous saucers first. It was marked $5 though, and book value on it was only $1. The woman would only come down to $4. I decided not to get it, but when I went to put it back, there was a crystal Colonial dinner plate. It was marked only $6 and I knew it was worth more than that, even though crystal pieces aren't priced in my field guide. She told me if I wanted both I could have them for $9, so I bit. I'm not sure that the Columbia plate is the same size as my others. I have the smaller ones, and I think this is a 6", but I'll find out when I get home. I was tickled with the Colonial plate, and was very surprised that I ended up getting exactly what I had pictured this morning. When I looked it up in the book, the value on it is listed at $20; although as usual, crystal prices are kind of a theoretical thing.

Colonial "Knife and Fork" 10" dinner plate in crystal by Hocking Glass Company, circa 1934-1936

"Columbia" 6" cake plate/saucer in crystal by Federal Glass Company, circa 1938-1942

After the flea market we were all fairly hungry, so we went to find some lunch. Mom wanted to go to a shopping center in an old mill she had seen, but when we got there it seemed like a tourist trap. There was a pizza buffet though, and we went ahead and had lunch. With some lunch, we were ready to go again for a bit, and decided to go through the great antique store near her house. I almost always score there, and they had a bunch of stuff on sale, but I didn't find anything today. I went through the great Depression Glass booth at the front of the store and just drooled. I wish I knew where that guy goes to get his stuff. He most likely makes buying trips up North. He always has beautiful things but his prices are too high. I had decided to get a blue Diamond Point vase, even though I have been resisting buying them. But it was on a sale table and turned out to not be for sale, so I forewent. I had already scored today, and it was out of my era anyway.

When we got back to Mom's the ^%$#@!!! tire on the car was flat. Again. I've been pumping it up for the last two months, and trying to find someone to fix it, but no one wants to patch or plug it, they just want to sell me another tire. I've been fooling with it for a while now, and I'm sick of worrying about it. But I had to get home. I went in Mom's and thought about leaving, but I was really tired. I took a bit of a nap so I wouldn't have to worry about going to sleep behind the wheel.

I woke up when Rod got there, and talked to him for a bit before deciding to get it in gear. By this time it was almost 5, and later than I wanted to leave. I ran through the shower, aired up the problem tire, and headed out with the best intentions of trying to make it home before dark. But I decided to call Chip before I left town. He lives in Columbia too, and I don't get to see him as often as I would like. It turned out he was home, so I went by there and visited him for a while. His cat is dying and he's been having a rough time. We ended up going out to dinner and I didn't end up leaving until about 9. The tire looked like it had gone down a bit, but the leak has been slow, and I had to stop for gas anyway, so I figured I would pump it up again then and I'd probably be fine.

About the time I got to the intersection of 26 and 385 and was thinking about stopping for gas I started hearing a noise, but couldn't decide if it was just road noise or not. I had already stopped once to check the tire and it was fine. By the time I got off the highway though, I knew the tire was totally flat. I made it to a lighted gas station, and when I pulled around to the air pump and looked, it was clear the tire had blown. So I got out my manual and figured out where the spare was stored (I had made few half-hearted attempts to inspect it since I got the car, but thought it was under the deck inside instead of actually suspended under the car where it actually is). Thankfully it was easier to get off than the spare on my old truck. I changed the tire, made sure the pressure was right in the spare, and got back on the road. I called Mom and told her what was going on - she was all worried, so I told her that my phone was working fine, and that if there was a problem I’d call her. Otherwise, just to assume that everything was fine.

I got home a bit after 10, got in the house, and went on to bed. I was bushed. It was a very long day.

A post in which I head for Columbia

I woke up this morning feeling muzzy and kind of drug out. I'm not used to all those tannins in my system. I didn't really feel hung over, but I didn't feel like my usual self. I got up though, and started getting ready to go, futzing around the house, packing, etc. Robert called. He's back from Florida. Apparently the trip didn't go so well, but he was seeing the silver lining. We caught up for a bit. By the time I finished up everything and left it was about 11:30, which was later than I had planned on getting started, but since I didn't wake up until 9, it wasn't bad.

I got to Lisa's house around 2. Mom had spent the night there, since Lisa and Carl had left the night before. That was a change in plans. They were coming back tonight, another change, but that meant that Mom and I could spend more time together, stay at her place, and go to the flea market in the morning.

We greeted, then got ready to go into Columbia for lunch and a trip to the zoo. That plan was considerably delayed though, by extensive road work we ran into when we got to town. We ended up sitting in the car for an hour trying to get to an Italian place, but when we got there they were closed. Ava was amazingly patient through all this, considering she really hates the car seat. We ate Mexican instead - I can always eat Mexican.

After a huge lunch we went on to the zoo. Mom had some free passes, which was good since we didn't get there until about 4:30. I was surprised at how the Columbia Zoo has gone downhill. The animals were fed and all, but several exhibits were closed, and the place was obviously in need of some maintenance. The penguin exhibit in particular was looking run down. Previously one of the star attractions of the zoo, the glass today was murky and in need of cleaning. The water was clean, but the whole bird house smelled, and there were many exhibits in the bird house that were closed. The howler monkey island in the middle of the zoo had been closed. The snow leopard was gone. The gorilla encounter was new since I was there last, and was impressive, but there were three males and no females in the exhibit. They had a pecking order established apparently, but I was surprised. Mom had never been there before, and it is a nice zoo, but it was not in the same state that it used to be kept. The zoo closes at 6pm, and of course the animals know the schedule. Many of them were just waiting at the exit doors to the exhibits, waiting to be let in and fed. The elephants just stood at the door, and the sea lions were already off exhibit. Many of the exhibits apparently close at 4pm, inexplicably. But Ava was really too young for the zoo, and was as interested in the other babies as she was in the animals anyway. We did get to see feeding time in the aviary, and that was pretty cool, but we couldn't go in as that was closed for the day. I went in and saw the much-ballyhoo'd koala exhibit, which was pristine and well-kept, but the koalas had already gone to sleep.

After the zoo, we went by Mom's place for a bit of a rest, then went on to meet Maureen and Dee for dinner. We met them at about 7, but we had eaten lunch so late we really weren't hungry. We just had salads and visited with them. Dee has a Smartcar, which was pretty cool. He claims 51mpg on the highway. I sat in it though, and my head was right against the sun roof. It was surprisingly room inside except for that though. It was a cute little thing, and was surprisingly affordable. He seemed well-pleased with it, which was the important thing.

After supper we headed back to Lisa's house to wait for them to get home. We visited, and Ava played. She had worn all three of us out, as good as she was. She has to be watched every second, and I'm just not used to that. We watched a bit of telly. By the time Lisa got home, it was about 9:30 or so. I visited with her for a bit, and of course saw Kevin and Inga, who go with them everywhere. After they left we loaded up Cole and headed back to Mom's. By the time we got back there, we were a wee bit peckish, so we had some toasted bagels and chatted until bedtime. Tomorrow is the flea market! Yay!

A post in which I find that Greenville has added another jewel to it's culinary crown

Today at work the quiet trend continued, for which I was grateful.

I was supposed to do a movie night with Anna and her parents tonight, but she had to cancel. That was just as well, since I really needed to pack and stuff tonight anyway. But after work, I felt like doing something. I’m so glad not to be sick any more. I really wanted to go out and do something tonight. I called Laura to see what she and Kimbley were up to.

I ended up going over there for cocktails on the patio while we discussed dinner plans. It was pretty, if a bit cool, but windy. After all the rain we’ve had though, it was just good to be outside. Donnie and Mark came over, and we decided to go to a new place I hadn’t been called Campobello’s. They have Italian food and it was absolutely scrumptious. The atmosphere was quiet – it’s a small place, and hasn’t been “discovered” yet. The staff was friendly and very accommodating. They also let you bring your own wine, which was a big deal for Donnie and Mark, since they’re all in to wine. I think they’re going to make and aficionado of me in spite of myself. I’m not usually into red, but the wine they brought tonight was all delicious. I shudder to think what most of it cost. Their wine budget is far greater than mine. Mark generously picked up the tab for everyone too. I thought that was very nice. It was also good for me, since I'm a bit strapped for funds at the mo, and this place wasn't cheap.

At the restaurant I ran into an old friend from high school. I was very surprised at her effusive greeting, since we hadn’t been that close way back when, but she was super nice and seemed really glad to see me. She’s also a lesbian, which of course was just extra points in my book. She had been to the high school reunion, and I found myself asking about people I hadn’t thought about in years. I really enjoyed seeing her. I’m going to have to have her and her lover over soon. Kimbley and Laura were interested in getting to know them too. Susan was so nice, and K&L are always telling me they’d like to have more women friends, which I can understand.

After dinner, we went back to watch movies on the big screen at K&L’s. Tonight we watched Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. I had seen it once before and frankly it was so unpleasant I don’t think I made it all the way through. But I know it’s supposed to be a masterpiece, and I really like both of them, so I decided to give it another try. Apparently I am not smart enough to get it. I could feel the hidden meanings just missing me as they went over my head, but never caught up with them. I could see that there was a lot going on under the surface, but the majority of it was incomprehensible to me. Ultimately, it just collapsed in a mish-mash for me. I didn’t understand the ending.

The one thing that hadn’t changed from my initial impression was the sheer unpleasantness of the whole thing. Watching Elizabeth Taylor fully immerse herself in the role of a castrating, adulterous, vicious, alcoholic shrew is just not my idea of entertainment. I can understand intellectually that it was an accomplishment for her as an actress, but I can’t understand why anyone would want to watch it. Why would anyone want to watch a dysfunctional couple of vitriolic drunks scream at each other for two hours? I don’t get it. Maybe it just goes back to my simple-minded pursuits of entertainment that actually makes me feel better. Maybe it’s just that I’ve experienced so much bitterness and argument with members of my own family. I don’t think I’ll be sitting through that one again.

It was nice to see everyone though. I said my goodnights and went home to get in bed far too late to do any packing. Meh. I’ll do it tomorrow.

A post in which I do good work

I was up at 4am this morning. Since I haven't been sleeping well, I guess I'm better. The cats have spring fever, and wake me up at night having endless races through the house. I needed coffee today.

I watched a documentary called "Nazi Pop Twins" on hulu this morning while I got ready. I am officially hooked on online video. This one was quite disturbing. It was about a singing duo called Prussian Blue, two young girls who have become the darlings of the white supremacist movement by singing songs that carry their twisted message. Of course, since the girls started this very young, it's actually their mother's views they are touting, not their own. They have been home schooled since they were very young. In one of the disturbing scenes, the mother is teaching their younger sister the alphabet - this is a pretty near quote:

"A is for Aryan - like you, a white person! B is for blood - like the blood your forefathers shed so that you could be free, white, and proud!"

You get the gist.

Interestingly, now that they are older and are back in public school, the girls aren't as enthusiastic about their role in the movement. They have started writing other kinds of songs. This has apparently created some tension with their mother. You can hear them having a "private" discussion (they were miked), in which the mother says "You need to be conscious of the fact that you are on camera. They are going to be gone in an hour, and after that you can be a cunt all evening if you want. But behave for now." Nice parenting. It just makes me sick that people raise their kids this way. And folks say gay people shouldn't have children! It makes me nuts.

When I got to work, I still didn't have the reports I needed to finish the presentation. I worked on what I could, then got varicose veins in my neck trying to get the rest of them from China. I did eventually get what I needed - a half hour before I had to turn it in. By the time my boss futzed around with it, it was two and a half hours late getting in, but at least I got it done before I left without having to work too late.

The other thing that happened this afternoon was that they brought in the big boss from California for the monthly meeting this month. My boss was all excited because we got to have a question and answer session with him today. True, most of the people in the department don't have that much exposure to him. But I already figured there wasn't going to be much information involved here. The big question everyone wanted to have answered had already been asked, and of course they wouldn't answer that one. After two rounds of lay-offs, people want to know if their jobs are safe. We're not told there are going to be lay-offs. You just come in and someone else is gone. We are told "the crystal ball grows cloudy..." when we ask about jobs. In fact, we spent an hour in a room with him politely and professionally not answering one question. Not one. It was more of a waste of time than even I cynically thought it would be. Usually when I get done masturbating there is at least something to clean up. He didn't even leave a spot. Oy, the amount of bullshit just gets me down. I understand this was supposed to quiet the troops. But the older I get, the less patience I have with the empty gesture. That's really what I mind. It's usually not the job - it's all the corporate bullshit that wears me out. The endless double-speak and needless complication. The petty, back-biting fiefdoms of bureaucracy.

On the way home, I stopped by the library to pick up some books. I have a new book on CD I got for the trip to Columbia this weekend. It's OK, but it's getting Hallmark-y. A woman opens her dream bed and breakfast after she has a terrible relationship experience with a cad. She has meets a guy who wants to interview her (her ex was a politician), but she doesn't know that yet. Of course he is brutally and ruggedly handsome, with piercing blue eyes, etc etc. (I'd kind of like to hear a love story about two people who fall in love because they are really good to each other.) The lively part is that this woman's great grandmother was a madam, and the house the woman bought is the old brothel, which her great grandmother is haunting. That's a mildly amusing spin. The old ho is given a wry voice that is kind of funny.

I finished up watching "Nazi Pop Twins" after dinner, and then watched some clips from "To Catch a Predator" on youtube. For some reason I find those endlessly fascinating, I don't know why. When they lie (as most of them do) I just want to punch them, and when they tell the truth I'm aghast at their sheer gall. Either way I want to hit them. That combination should make for some fucked-up dreams tonight.

I did a load of laundry so my favorite (biggest) pants would be clean to take to Columbia this weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing my mother, Cole, and Ava. It should be nice.