An out-of-sorts day

(1:30pm) The work day started with another difficult phone call. Same customer. This woman has now made it her life's mission to make my life hell. Sigh.

I am meditating on loneliness today. It's the Valentine's shit that has me on this, I know. I have a great life. I have wonderful friends. I have a job that supports me in a reasonably nice lifestyle. I am so incredibly lucky compared to so many people. But every grocery store, drug store, internet store and bar mitzvah supply house is now festooned in hearts and cupids. It just wears me down. They started this year just after Christmas. And of course all that's just fine if you're one of the "happy-bunny-couple-people". I'm in better shape emotionally than I was last year, but in a way this year is worse. I really thought I would have some kind of dating life by this point. Instead the horizon is conspicuously empty and bleak.

When I was single before, Valentine's Day was always my most hated time of the year. Consistency is a bitch.

I'm just aggravated that I'm so easy. Skot told me this weekend that he could tell I was a writer, and complimented me on my vocabulary. I was incandescent. Probably just as well I can't date this man. He is way smarter than me, and my buttons are way to easy to push. Michael was a lot smarter than me too, but I could think on my feet faster than he could, so it kind of evened out. Skot is smart and quick. I would never win a fight with him.

Sorry, that was the first compliment I've had on my writing in some time, I had to preserve it.

(Gentle Reader: Thank you for kindly sticking with me through so many needlessly obsessive posts about Skot. I am entering a 12-step program today, and expect the above to be the last of the series. At least until his next visit. You have my eternal gratitude for your continued patience. m)

I'm sure it's not helping that Tom is getting ready to retire, and I don't know what will happen with work after that. Scary monsters. I'm torn between wanting to stay in my little insulated sphere of security, and my need to start something new. Another ending is just not pepping me up at the moment.

I was also up last night, itching furiously for an hour, in an adverse reaction to the antibiotics I'm on. Since I got my allergy prescription filled last night though, that seems to have backed off. Sleep would be really good tonight.