To my great surprise, I woke up at 8:20am this morning, feeling fairly fresh and ready to go. Equally amazingly, Russ called at 9am, and said they were on the way, we were going to the Jockey Lot. We were a bit delayed, because Skot for some reason insisted on taking a shower before he left. Showering to go to the Jockey Lot is a bit like putting on perfume to cut onions, but newbies often feel they have to primp before they go. I always feel like I need a shower when I get home from there, so I usually wait. As late as we got back, it is a good thing he already had, because he had to leave for his mom's right away.
We had a really good time. It had apparently been a long time since Skot had been, and let me tell you, he was making up for lost time. He looked at EVERYTHING. I was kind of torn, because I know we were there to look at stuff, and of course I wanted Skot to enjoy himself. At the same time though, I had a bunch of stuff to do, because I didn't feel like doing much yesterday during the day but lay around. Plus I wasn't really sure that wandering around outside in the cool January breeze (although it was fairly mild) was the best idea in the world. Eventually though, I was just like, "Oh well, too late now", and decided to worry about the repercussions later and just enjoy myself. And I did. We were there until 2pm, and I didn't buy one thing. Probably just as well after paying for dinner last night. But I had a great time.
I hadn't really seen that much of Skot when he was here before, and as usual when I am kind of crushing on someone who is in relationship (he was still in one the last time he was here) I tend to feel awkward and tongue-tied. But I liked him.
He is single now, but dating someone, as mentioned previously. But I spent some more time around him this time, and go to know him a bit. He is a really nice guy, very funny, and very smart which is really sexy to me. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's good looking too, especially with a pipe in him mouth. So I was around him enough to get comfortable enough to be myself this time, which was good, and I did enjoy getting to know him a bit. I flirted, but didn't make passes and stuff, because of course he's taken. I'm not really sure I'm ready to sample the lobster and then have to go back to the local fish sticks afterwards, anyway. Also, he's Billy's ex, and that would just be weird. They definitely had an old marriage moment Saturday night during the games. Plus, as mentioned before, he is a top (hello) and lives 3,000 miles away. Sigh. But I told him the last time he was here, it gives me hope just to know guys like him are out there. Somewhere. I got to rub his tummy before he left too Mmmmmmmm. 
***
But of course, nothing for me can be that simple. We were walking by a stall at the Jockey Lot Sunday where a guy sold Bibles, and Skot was like, "Maybe I should pick one up. Nah, I'm good for toilet paper." I have to say I was shocked. I can't imagine just throwing something out like that - something so incredibly offensive - just for the hell of it. That's the double-edge of that smart-assness I like so much. So I've been thinking a lot about that little incident. Kind of turning it over in my mind like a worry bead, as I do. Maybe I was just so surprised because he'd been such a sweetheart the rest of the time I had been around him.
He had told me that day that he was a Buddhist, which I have no issue with. Since I want others to respect my beliefs, I respect theirs. I was a bit surprised that he was a Buddhist who ate meat, but I wasn't disparaging about it. I am too familiar with the nature of people to rationalize pretty much anything they want to do - I do it too. So I don't think I caused offense there.
I of all people understand why a lot of gay people have a real ax to grind with the Christian church, particularly people from around here. The certainty that I was going to hell, thanks to the local Baptist minister (along with some other teenage angst) almost caused me to kill myself at the tender age of 16. So I understand that hurt and anger. I've been there. But when I made my peace with God I was able to lay that down.
I guess part of my surprise was that I have always thought of the Buddhist faith as really the essence of a gentle faith. I am thinking about the Buddhist monks who don't even wear shoes, because a shoe will kill an insect more surely than a bare foot. Buddhists tend to be the anti-Baptists (in my perception), non-judgmental and accepting. So I guess that was why I was more surprised.
Closer to the core, isn't the essence of any faith acceptance and humility? I remember vividly in a college Sociology class a side by side comparison page of several major religious texts. They all had some very basic things in common. Treat others the way you want to be treated, don't kill, don't steal, etc. I call them "act like somebody rules". But I think they all have something in them about being humble also. Of course, I am not exactly meek and mild all the time, but I would never off-handedly insult the faith of another person. A pastor I thought a lot of was fond of saying "We don't believe we have God in a box.", meaning that no one can know everything about divinity, because we're all human. I have always tried to remember that and take it to heart. Just because someone believes something that I don't, it doesn't make it any less true to them, and it doesn't mean that on some level they might not be right. So when I encounter Christian extremists (no shortage around here), I try to understand that they are doing something based on what they believe to be their personal truth. While I may not agree with it, I try to respect it, or at least not to insult them.
Of course, fresh off my run-in with the bear guy last week, I wasn't going to start a big thing about it. I told him I thought that was unnecessary and let it drop. A bit later everything was fine again. But it's been niggling at the back of my mind. Maybe I can let it go now. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Maybe it was just supposed to be a joke. It just wasn't funny to me.
***
Anyway, we didn't leave Anderson until almost 2pm. By the time we got back, everyone had to go running off except me. Skot to his mom's, Russ and Billy to dinner and a play at the Peace Center, and Justin to meet his parents. I was the only one with no one waiting for me. At that point, I was pretty beat. So I went home and took a short nap.
I really hate Sunday nights, but it turned out not to be so bad. I had so much to do I didn't really have time to feel lonely. I did the shopping, baked a pan of stuffed shells to eat on this week for lunch, and put together a pot of soup to leave in the crock pot tomorrow. By the time I got all that done and cleaned up, it was time for bed.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment