January 31, 2009 A Blessedly Quiet Day

Today went about as well as a day where you begin by bathing out of a bowl can. It was Little Fags on the Prairie at my house this morning getting ready for work, but I am fairly resourceful.

By 10:30, the plumber I called last night still hadn't returned my call, so I called another plumber, the one that put in the water heater before the one I have now. When I hadn't heard from them by 4pm, I called them back, only to find out they had already been out, and that the problem was only a pilot light. So they're going to charge me for a service call, which will be outrageous, but not nearly as high as replacing the water heater, and certainly not as high as if I had used my other plumber. They are one of the best services in town, but you really pay through the nose for it.

I got an email from S (I promised, I know), and it was very nice. He is headed back home today apparently.

Work was amazingly quiet after the way the rest of the week has gone. I was able to get all my stuff done, and am completely prepared for month end. I also made it through the day without a complaint being lodged against my by some loon also, which is always nice.

After work, had my hair cut. Russ put all that junk in it again. I have asked him not to, because I hate it, but he likes to play in it I guess, it's part of the service. Plus he wants me to leave the shop looking right. It's usually not an issue, because I usually just go home and wash it out. I had to run by the grocery store last night, and felt kind of like a goober, but no one said anything or stared (that I noticed).

When I got home I had hot water (HOORAY!) and a quiet evening in with the kitties.

Accounts of the Living Dead

Using zombie graphics humorously symbolize accounts that Will Not Die, while at the same time blatantly appealing to Justin's fondness for zombies

Well it's shaping up to be one of those weeks.

I finally got rid of the aforementioned hell-spawn from earlier in the week. She left a message for my boss, and he was like "I'm just deleting this."

But then ANOTHER hateful blast from the past came back to haunt me. This woman runs a very small company, and she is totally insane. She also suffers from a case of verbal Montezuma's revenge (diarrhea just doesn't cover it). She had been through everyone in the company today, trying to get her net terms re-instated. She had talked one of the guys into giving her a $1K line, against my recommendation, but because she got greedy, a supervisor looked at it today and revoked her terms completely. After she wasted hours of everyone's time, they finally sent her to my desk, because they were sick of listening to her. She is the epitome of our consumer culture now. She has been trained that if she whines longly and loudly enough, she will get what she wants, deserved, fair, or not. I simply but firmly told her she was not getting what she wanted, that the records would remain the same, and that she had wasted quite enough of everyone's time today. Needless to say, she went ballistic, and I ended up working late to go over her worthless account.

It has been that kind of week. I have had repeated queries from "Business Development" ("scraping the bottom of the barrel" dept, in English) about "target accounts" with whom the suppliers want us to "explore opportunities" (translation: these people have told the suppliers they have pending deals for a large amount of product, but the vendors won't touch them with a 10 foot pole). My favorite one was an email from BD about an account marked "suspicious". "What does that mean?" He wanted to know. Fraudulent, I explained. "Oh" he replied. Now what the hell did he THINK it meant? That this was a good opportunity?

At last, though, the day was over, and I shopped a bit on the way home, got some gas, and generally tried to exorcise the Vile Lucy (the account I stayed late for) from my mind. When I got home, I was ready just to relax and let Jon Stewart charm the rest of the day away.

But when I went to wash the supper dishes, I found I had no hot water. Again. This is the third water heater that has died since moving in 10 years ago. They are gas, and the bottoms keep burning through them. The last one cost $900. I am really sick of buying water heaters. But I resignedly left a message for the plumber, and went to bed.

An out-of-sorts day

(1:30pm) The work day started with another difficult phone call. Same customer. This woman has now made it her life's mission to make my life hell. Sigh.

I am meditating on loneliness today. It's the Valentine's shit that has me on this, I know. I have a great life. I have wonderful friends. I have a job that supports me in a reasonably nice lifestyle. I am so incredibly lucky compared to so many people. But every grocery store, drug store, internet store and bar mitzvah supply house is now festooned in hearts and cupids. It just wears me down. They started this year just after Christmas. And of course all that's just fine if you're one of the "happy-bunny-couple-people". I'm in better shape emotionally than I was last year, but in a way this year is worse. I really thought I would have some kind of dating life by this point. Instead the horizon is conspicuously empty and bleak.

When I was single before, Valentine's Day was always my most hated time of the year. Consistency is a bitch.

I'm just aggravated that I'm so easy. Skot told me this weekend that he could tell I was a writer, and complimented me on my vocabulary. I was incandescent. Probably just as well I can't date this man. He is way smarter than me, and my buttons are way to easy to push. Michael was a lot smarter than me too, but I could think on my feet faster than he could, so it kind of evened out. Skot is smart and quick. I would never win a fight with him.

Sorry, that was the first compliment I've had on my writing in some time, I had to preserve it.

(Gentle Reader: Thank you for kindly sticking with me through so many needlessly obsessive posts about Skot. I am entering a 12-step program today, and expect the above to be the last of the series. At least until his next visit. You have my eternal gratitude for your continued patience. m)

I'm sure it's not helping that Tom is getting ready to retire, and I don't know what will happen with work after that. Scary monsters. I'm torn between wanting to stay in my little insulated sphere of security, and my need to start something new. Another ending is just not pepping me up at the moment.

I was also up last night, itching furiously for an hour, in an adverse reaction to the antibiotics I'm on. Since I got my allergy prescription filled last night though, that seems to have backed off. Sleep would be really good tonight.

A Boring Monday Night

Very productive day at work today. I got so much done, even though I started off the day with a pretty bad phone call. Welcome to the work week.

At the end of the day, I gratefully left the corporate battlefield to focus on more domestic concerns.

I pureed my soup, which was delicious, although as usual when I make broccoli soup, I got it too thick. Meh. I like it thick though. Changed my sheets, ate some supper, chatted on line a bit to a very nice nurse who lives in Oklahoma. He has a brain, is a bottom, and has a smile that could bring a puppy back to life. Sigh. I'm thinking more and more that I need to move away from this place.

When I browsed the guys in Seattle Sunday afternoon (that's where Skot lives) there were over 100 pages of guys - just on Bear411. A lot of them were nice looking too. When you go back to browse the 35 or so pages of guys in the whole state of SC, and when so many of them look like their parents lived under power lines and speak as if they are victims of "gestational microwave leak syndrome", it gives you pause for thought. Or maybe I'm just too cynical. I just know my life here would be a lot simpler if I enjoyed American Idol and NASCAR.

I am talking to one really smart guy in Columbia though, and I'd like to meet him.

With these thoughts on my mind, I turned in.

A Lovely, but Extensive, Jockey Lot Trip

To my great surprise, I woke up at 8:20am this morning, feeling fairly fresh and ready to go. Equally amazingly, Russ called at 9am, and said they were on the way, we were going to the Jockey Lot. We were a bit delayed, because Skot for some reason insisted on taking a shower before he left. Showering to go to the Jockey Lot is a bit like putting on perfume to cut onions, but newbies often feel they have to primp before they go. I always feel like I need a shower when I get home from there, so I usually wait. As late as we got back, it is a good thing he already had, because he had to leave for his mom's right away.

We had a really good time. It had apparently been a long time since Skot had been, and let me tell you, he was making up for lost time. He looked at EVERYTHING. I was kind of torn, because I know we were there to look at stuff, and of course I wanted Skot to enjoy himself. At the same time though, I had a bunch of stuff to do, because I didn't feel like doing much yesterday during the day but lay around. Plus I wasn't really sure that wandering around outside in the cool January breeze (although it was fairly mild) was the best idea in the world. Eventually though, I was just like, "Oh well, too late now", and decided to worry about the repercussions later and just enjoy myself. And I did. We were there until 2pm, and I didn't buy one thing. Probably just as well after paying for dinner last night. But I had a great time.

I hadn't really seen that much of Skot when he was here before, and as usual when I am kind of crushing on someone who is in relationship (he was still in one the last time he was here) I tend to feel awkward and tongue-tied. But I liked him.

He is single now, but dating someone, as mentioned previously. But I spent some more time around him this time, and go to know him a bit. He is a really nice guy, very funny, and very smart which is really sexy to me. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's good looking too, especially with a pipe in him mouth. So I was around him enough to get comfortable enough to be myself this time, which was good, and I did enjoy getting to know him a bit. I flirted, but didn't make passes and stuff, because of course he's taken. I'm not really sure I'm ready to sample the lobster and then have to go back to the local fish sticks afterwards, anyway. Also, he's Billy's ex, and that would just be weird. They definitely had an old marriage moment Saturday night during the games. Plus, as mentioned before, he is a top (hello) and lives 3,000 miles away. Sigh. But I told him the last time he was here, it gives me hope just to know guys like him are out there. Somewhere. I got to rub his tummy before he left too Mmmmmmmm.

***

But of course, nothing for me can be that simple. We were walking by a stall at the Jockey Lot Sunday where a guy sold Bibles, and Skot was like, "Maybe I should pick one up. Nah, I'm good for toilet paper." I have to say I was shocked. I can't imagine just throwing something out like that - something so incredibly offensive - just for the hell of it. That's the double-edge of that smart-assness I like so much. So I've been thinking a lot about that little incident. Kind of turning it over in my mind like a worry bead, as I do. Maybe I was just so surprised because he'd been such a sweetheart the rest of the time I had been around him.

He had told me that day that he was a Buddhist, which I have no issue with. Since I want others to respect my beliefs, I respect theirs. I was a bit surprised that he was a Buddhist who ate meat, but I wasn't disparaging about it. I am too familiar with the nature of people to rationalize pretty much anything they want to do - I do it too. So I don't think I caused offense there.

I of all people understand why a lot of gay people have a real ax to grind with the Christian church, particularly people from around here. The certainty that I was going to hell, thanks to the local Baptist minister (along with some other teenage angst) almost caused me to kill myself at the tender age of 16. So I understand that hurt and anger. I've been there. But when I made my peace with God I was able to lay that down.

I guess part of my surprise was that I have always thought of the Buddhist faith as really the essence of a gentle faith. I am thinking about the Buddhist monks who don't even wear shoes, because a shoe will kill an insect more surely than a bare foot. Buddhists tend to be the anti-Baptists (in my perception), non-judgmental and accepting. So I guess that was why I was more surprised.

Closer to the core, isn't the essence of any faith acceptance and humility? I remember vividly in a college Sociology class a side by side comparison page of several major religious texts. They all had some very basic things in common. Treat others the way you want to be treated, don't kill, don't steal, etc. I call them "act like somebody rules". But I think they all have something in them about being humble also. Of course, I am not exactly meek and mild all the time, but I would never off-handedly insult the faith of another person. A pastor I thought a lot of was fond of saying "We don't believe we have God in a box.", meaning that no one can know everything about divinity, because we're all human. I have always tried to remember that and take it to heart. Just because someone believes something that I don't, it doesn't make it any less true to them, and it doesn't mean that on some level they might not be right. So when I encounter Christian extremists (no shortage around here), I try to understand that they are doing something based on what they believe to be their personal truth. While I may not agree with it, I try to respect it, or at least not to insult them.

Of course, fresh off my run-in with the bear guy last week, I wasn't going to start a big thing about it. I told him I thought that was unnecessary and let it drop. A bit later everything was fine again. But it's been niggling at the back of my mind. Maybe I can let it go now. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. Maybe it was just supposed to be a joke. It just wasn't funny to me.

***

Anyway, we didn't leave Anderson until almost 2pm. By the time we got back, everyone had to go running off except me. Skot to his mom's, Russ and Billy to dinner and a play at the Peace Center, and Justin to meet his parents. I was the only one with no one waiting for me. At that point, I was pretty beat. So I went home and took a short nap.

I really hate Sunday nights, but it turned out not to be so bad. I had so much to do I didn't really have time to feel lonely. I did the shopping, baked a pan of stuffed shells to eat on this week for lunch, and put together a pot of soup to leave in the crock pot tomorrow. By the time I got all that done and cleaned up, it was time for bed.

My Night Out

Me acting like a complete doofus at Russ and Billy's. Bear411 refused to post this picture as my main profile pic!

OK, so boredom finally sapped me of all common sense, and when Russ called me to meet them for dinner, I said yes. I really did want to see Skot before he left, and wanted to have some fun too. We went to a new place called "Azia", which advertises "fusion global cuisine".

http://www.aziagreenville.com/home.asp

OK. Well Russ wanted to go, and he knows the guy that owns the place. Very fab, very fashionable, very upscale; and I didn't realize that (I should have) and showed up under dressed like a redneck schmo. The other place he runs is a bit more laid back - the aforementioned Lieu's. That aside. The decor here was very mod and posh, and matched the new puzzling trend for inexplicably expensive restaurants. A dyed concrete floor, and a cavernous ceiling of exposed metal and duct work, with trendy lights floating in the visual space. Very arty and all, but the NOISE was awful. There were no cloth baffles or anything to deaden the echoes of two floors of diners resounding in this vast, hard cavern. Call me old-fashioned, but I like a quieter atmosphere where you can at least carry on a conversation with the people you are with. My impression was of a place to be seen, rather than a place to enjoy the company of your companions.

We had reservations for 8pm. We waited 45 minutes for our table (fortunately I had eaten a banana earlier so my blood sugar wouldn't go haywire). When we were seated, our service was pretty good. The waiter was nice enough, but knitted an audible barrier of "guy"s "buddy"s and "bro"s so that we would all be in no doubt about his heterosexuality. That's fine. If he was uncomfortable, that's his issue. I just wanted my food; and as I said, he was nice enough. As to the food. Well I have to say the appetizer that I had, the "Krunchy Tempura Shrimp Thai Tacos" was one of the most delicious things I have ever put in my mouth. So I was really jazzed about the rest of the meal.

Sadly, the rest wasn't nearly as good. I had three maki rolls. They were good, but they were hella expensive. About twice the price of our usual nice sushi place. I did have all specialty rolls, though. But even a spider roll most places is only about $10. They did have a couple of basic rolls for $6-8, but the vast majority of the rolls were $10 or higher. The Dragon Roll I had was very good, the unagi nice and crisp, but at $14, it was a bit pricey. The Volcano Roll was also $14, and to be frank, I've had better. The Unbelievable Roll was topped with lobster, and I guess they didn't want to use a strong palate to preserve that flavor, but it was pretty bland, and at $15, no bargain (it was maki, we're talking maybe an ounce of lobster). Add $10 for the appetizer, and a tip, and I had a $75 meal - that is with no cocktails at all, just a soda. So good, yes, but really, I would have been happier at our regular sushi place, in a quieter dining atmosphere, for about 30% less on the check.

Plus, I looked like hell. I had coughed until my eyes were blood shot, my nose was all chapped from blowing it, and when I went to the bathroom, I ruptured a capillary in the end of my nose and couldn't stop bleeding.

It was a relief to get back to Russ and Billy's. We had a nice game night, playing "Apples to Apples", which Justin and Ben both love, and a Monopoly card game that we like too. I was smoking with Russ between games, although I could scarcely believe I was torturing my poor recovering lungs and throat in so cavalier a fashion. By the time the Monopoly game was over (and because we had spent so long at the restaurant) it was really late. I got home at about 3:20. I can't decide if I am devil-may-care, or a complete idiot.

Plus, we're going to the Jockey Lot in the morning, if they get up to go. I'm not expecting it. They were playing Wii when I called it quits.

Just for fun..

I saw this the other night at the grocery store, but forgot about it until today when I looked at my phone pics. Have these people never HEARD of Will and Grace?! I thought this was pretty fucking hilarious. Even more so because it is aimed at the NASCAR market! I can just picture all those guys sliding a Big Mo in their mouths! How many weeks do you think it will be before this is yanked off the shelves? And do they sell t-shirts?? ROFLMAO

Civic Duty and Boredom

Moi, wrapped up in the quilt that has attended all illness since high school

Since I went to bed so early last night, I was up at 5:30am. Good thing. Park called me at 6:20. He's upset about his dad dying. Poor Park. His dad had Alzheimer's, and Park gave up his whole life to move back home to take care of him. His family treated him like shit for doing it too. In the process, he's neglected himself to the point that now that his dad is gone, he is not sure what he's going to do with himself. He's such a sweet guy, and he so needs someone to take care of him, which of course pushes all my buttons. I talked to him for a while, and I think he felt better when we were done. I used to feel so inadequate in talking to people about grief, because everything I felt I could say felt so pat and inadequate. But after a loss of my own, I realize that sometimes you just need someone to make soothing noises and tell you everything will be OK. So that's basically what I did.

Since I was up, I went on to the polls and did the only thing I have to do today, voted in the primary.

After that the day rapidly descended into boredom. You can only play so many games of Tetras. I tried watching an Esther Williams movie, but it was one of the ones from later in her career when they ran out of ways to get her in the water. So there was no swimming, and I'm thinking what's the point.

I am embarrassed to say that I checked out the movie "Racing Stripes" from the library last night. I thought it would be something brainless and entertaining. Well I got the brainless part right anyway. It was pretty bad. But I watched it anyway, and wondered with all the violence in the world how Dana Carvey has managed to evade the death squad that must have certainly formed by now to Rid the World of Him.

Justin called and talked for a while, but I didn't think going antiquing in Spartanburg was a great idea today.

Duty Calls

Had to go to work today, my boss has fits when I'm out. I'm like his security blanket. So I took my big pills and went in. I did get some work done.

It did not help my mood in the slightest that not only did Russ and Scott go to dinner last night, but Justin went with them, and they had a fabulous time, AND I missed out on good dirt. I HATE missing out on good dirt.

By the end of the day I was so drug out, all I wanted to do was go home and collapse, but I also was craving Limeade like a heroine addict. I always crave limeade when I'm sick, for some reason.

So I went by the store, bought juice and frozen pizza, and came home and collapsed. I was in bed by 9pm.

I Feel Like Crap, part deux

Woke up feeling like hammered shit this morning. I guess it's true what they say about alcohol lowering your resistance. I could barely swallow, much less talk. So I called in to work and went to the doc. And I swear this had nothing to do with the &*^*(&&*^^%!! quarterly meeting at work, which I hate more than life itself, but I'll save that rant for another day.

Doc says I have another sinus infection. Which is why I'm going though all these steps with my insurance company, so I can hopefully get it fixed. She gave me some antibiotics and sent me home. I was hoping I could do it on my own. I feel guilty now when I take antibiotics because of all the resistant strains and stuff being bred. I know that is mostly happening because of massive use in factory farms, but I still get them into the water system when I take them. Anyway, I mostly just spent the day collapsed. The cats love it anyway. Jinx thinks if I am prone it is her right to be laid up on some part of me.

To top off the loveliness, I had gained 7 pounds since the last time I was at the doc's. I have gained back almost all the weight I lost before Michael left. Sigh.

I had to cancel on dinner with Russ and Scott too, which I really wanted to do. Dammit.

But Russ called me tonight to check on me. That was so sweet.

I Am Wined and Dined

Joe, my rep from CCCNY was coming to town today, and I have really been looking forward to it. He is such a nice guy, and I really like him. We don't get to see each other that often (he lives in Buffalo, NY), but I really enjoy it when we do.

They always take me someplace nice when they take me out, and I decided I wanted to go to Devereaux's downtown this time. I had never been there, and had been really curious.

The food was divine. We had the chef's tasting menu, which was five courses, but the portions were 'art food' sized, so it really wasn't a huge meal. We started off with a tuna sashimi with mango relish. The relish was delicious without being too sweet, and they had a mild ground chili on it that was lovely (chilies roasted and then cooled in snow to take the heat out, so the waitress informed us with a completely straight face). We then moved on to a butternut squash soup with orange honey marscpaone and toasted pecans. The marscapone melted like a lightly sweet cloud in the contrastingly salty and hearty soup. Next was a seared snapper with trophie pasta and pesto broth. The pasta was handmade, and the pesto broth deliciously light and flavored with fresh basil. Following was Atlantic salmon with miso broth. The salmon was served on a bed of matchstick snow peas that were exquisite in both taste and texture. For dessert, there was a cayenne spiced flourless chocolate lava cake with cinnamon ice cream. The cake was lightly spicy on the back end, but just a hint of chili. I am seriously loving chocolate and chili together. Those fiery chili Choxie bars they have at Target are my fave. So all in all, I felt like a pampered Chinese emperor, totally spoiled and indulged. That's a good feeling to have sometimes.

The star of the meal, however, I have to say was the wine. They have an impressive wine cellar, and I wanted to try a Soave, an Italian white that I had read up on. They were out though, and the waitress suggested an Albarino instead, a Spanish white that she said would be a good replacement. It was exquisite. Light, tart, and bold, and ice cold. It hit my palate with a slap, danced sparklingly for a moment, and then was gone, leaving me wanting more. I don't like whites with a long finish, so this was perfect for me. Really brassy and sassy on the front end, but content to be swallowed. This is a wine I will have again. The cellar we had was Nora, but I have read good things about Burgan's as well. I am seeing a trip to Wine & More in my future.

I'm glad I felt well enough to go. This crud is still hanging on, but I have been staying wrapped up and nursing my throat with peppermint tea, so hopefully I can throw it off. I'm buzzed and tired, and going to bed

I Feel Like Crap

But I did get some work done.

Came home, and once again intended to get in bed early, but didn't. But at least I was in bed on time, and wrapped up well.

Justin called, having read my blog, and wanting the rest of the dirt on the bear dinner conflict. We talked for a while about his strange materialism for useless yet vaguely cool things. He is a sweet guy, but I told him he was going to have to get a Life Alert so they could call me to come dig him out of the avalanche of crap in a few years. Quirky taste is great, but you have to have filters - filters baby! Otherwise your house ends up looking like a Jackson Pollock painting; and as expensive as they are, who wants to live in one? He likes neatness too much to enjoy living that way.

Michael called and we talked for about an hour about politics and political candidates. I have finally decided to vote for Obama. Do I have concerns about him? Yes. I don't like all those "present" votes in Illinois, which I knew about before Hillary brought them up. But from what I read, that is not unusual in the IL system. I am concerned by his ties to unsavory characters in Chicago, but I am concerned about Hillary's ties in Washington, and to the Wal-Mart board (which is also in her past). I worry that he is not as genuine as he presents himself, but then that is any politician. The key issue that decided me was lobbyists. I just don't think we will have any responsible government or meaningful change until there is serious reform about lobbying. That is something Barak is promising. He has also promised to bar lobbyists from his administration. Apparently Clinton is taking money from lobbyists for her campaign. Is either of them my perfect candidate? No. But bottom line, I'm not voting for more DC politics as usual. If the economy tanks the way I think it will, we're going to have a one-term incumbent anyway, since everyone will blame the new president for the economy that irresponsible spending has spent years undermining. So, in the words of Bill Clinton, I'm willing to roll the dice.

Monday monday...

Well I was just lazy today. I wanted to kick my own ass.

I think I'm coming down with something, dammit. And Joe is coming to town this week, and I have a sushi night planned with Russ and Scott. Billy is out of town again this week.

I meant to go to bed early, but I got started watching Catwoman again on cable. It really is a vile movie, but I thought it was hilarious. The CGI was really funny. I think they were trying to make her move like a cat, but the image really just kind of looks like a weird, boneless "jelly-woman" in a lot of the scenes (I'm seeing a drinking game with jello shooters, where everyone yells "Jelly Woman!", but I digress) LOL. I was kind of reminded of Roger Rabbit. I was also trying to think about how I would react if I went out on a first dinner date with someone and they started wolfing down sushi like she did. Whatever my reaction, the guy in the movie didn't do much with that. I thought that scene, and the tuna-eating scene were pretty funny, as was the one where she sees the spider and is scrabbling around in the dirt shortly after her transformation.

Sharon Stone looked gorgeous, and let's face it, Halle Berry was hot in that stuff. I liked the way she effortlessly walked across furniture and walls, although she spent a lot of time squatting. If the fight sequences had been better, I could see getting a copy. I would really enjoy watching her kick butt in the fight scenes, but they pretty much sucked. The editing was so fast, choppy, and sloppy that they just looked like a blurry slide-show for the most part. I guess if I want to watch pretty girls kick butt, I can watch Kill Bill again. Or maybe the Charlie's Angels movies. I can watch Lucy Liu in almost anything.

BUNNY BUMP at LAST!!

It ended up being a great Sunday.

I futzed around and did laundry and stuff during the day, and thawed out some soup to take for lunch this week. I am trying not to cook a bunch of stuff because I have so much in the freezer. I am still trying to adhere to my rule of Removing Things from the Cabinet whenever possible. My cabinets are a mess.

Met Russ, Billy, and Billy's ex-cum-friend Scott at Lieu's for dinner. Scott is adorable, and has a brain, and is a smart ass, which I like. But he may be too much of a smart ass. I could see myself getting really pissed at him in a relationship. Not that he was that way to me, it's just I can see that side of him coming out during a marriage moment. But since he a) has a boyfriend; b) lives on the West coast; c) is another top; and d) has absolutely no interest in me, I don't guess it matters. He is a good-looking and funny guy though. The Lo Mien I had pretty much rocked, but I know that is not a low-cal item. I usually try to eat something semi-healthy when I go, but I just said forget it. Russ had chili shrimp that were delish, but I could tell they were caloric.

After dinner we went back to R&B's house for Wii gaming. I got to play Bunny Bump again, and even though I got creamed, I still really liked it. We also played tennis, at which I am becoming marginally competent. Those long close-up volleys shred my nerves though. I intended to leave at 10pm sharp, because I've been dragging in to work every Monday half dead. I left at 10:30, which is pretty good.

Lordamercy it's COLD out there!!

Got up and went out for coffee and cigs on the front porch, which is my Sunday morning thing, but had to come back inside. In the words of my friend Bernadette - It is BUTT-ASS cold out there!! Was not shocked to find, after checking the weather site, it is 20F degrees. Beautiful morning though; and I'm feeling much better this morning.

I am finishing my coffee inside.

Weather f*cked Satuday**

Well it's been a messed up day. I had a very busy day planned, but didn't end up doing a lot of what I had planned to do. The reason is that we had snow flurries yesterday. It was supposed to get cold enough for it to stick, but it didn't. It just snowed enough to make people buy bread and milk and be nervous.

I had a LOCK discussion scheduled on protocol and manners. I was really looking forward to it, because Miss Kat was going to present, and it's always nice to get the LOCK group together. They are the nicest, funniest, and most open-minded straight people I have ever met en mass. That was going to start at 1pm. I got a call from Billy that it was canceled, but we were going out to lunch.

Let me just say, it was not my restaurant day. There were six of us for lunch. Three of our orders were wrong, and when we got the check, that was wrong too. But we were having a good time, and what food we got was good, so we got it straightened out eventually and kind of laughed it off.

It was still snowing when we got out, so I took Sir Michael, Miss Carmina, and her boy adder over to the local alternative lifestyle shop, Out of Bounds, for a bit of shopping before they hit the road. That was fun. It was really interesting watching the guy who runs the store, who knows me, trying to figure out my connection to these folks. LOL They have a new item in the kink section. This leather paddle with SPANK spelled out in metal studs on it (if you're into leather, that is pretty fucking hilarious). It replaced the one that had DADDY spelled out in studs. Carmina says I'll see that at a bear thing soon, and have to laugh my ass off.

***

Also, Sir Michael rode over with me, since Carmina doesn't smoke in her car. He smokes cigars. And he has this whole hot nice kinky Daddy thing going on. His wife wilenda wasn't with him yesterday. So when he asks, "Do you smoke in your car?" (because he had a cigar going), I was like "SURE!" with a big smile. I'm thinking, 'Sir Michael cigar smell in my car? Hell I would BUY that!' I have to say, I have neither a cigar fetish, nor a particular thing for older guys, but Sir Michael is HOT. He wears his leather as casually as I wear sweatpants. There is just something about that air of completely un-cocky self confidence that makes me quiver beneath my bodice. And such a gentleman, complimenting me on my car, and graciously thanking me for playing Pocahontas. Yet underneath that veneer of charm, there is the knowledge that this man is capable of spinning such agony and ecstasy. It's compelling.

I have to say, that kind of thing really underlines my problems with the gay leather community. So many guys working through masculinity issues. So many guys wearing leather as a justification of what they want to present, rather than as an expression of who they are. Sir Michael just IS, like a glacier or a mountain - solid and beautiful, yet dangerous. His leather is just a part of him, like physical feature. Next to him, your run-of-the-mill gay leather daddy is shown up for the paper tiger he probably is.

There is a back story there. When I was new to the group, I helped teach a class on etiquette and white-glove service. It was a very fun day, but I was so surprised at how nervous so many of the subs were about serving food to the Doms (there was a formal dinner at the end of the class day). I'm thinking, 'You folks can have electrical wires hooked to you genitals for fun, and are afraid of serving asparagus?!' But I have to say, the genuine joy these people expressed when they greeted their partners just filled the room. Some of these people have been together for years. You just don't see that kind of excitement at seeing each other again in most long-term married couples. I think the apprehension was that the subs were afraid they would disappoint or embarrass their Dom. It was really sweet.

Anyway. I fell in love with wilenda during the course of the day. She is a doll - such a sweet person. When I met Sir Michael though, it was odd and strained. I immediately felt uncomfortable and awkward. I attributed this to the "straight guy weirded out by being around a gay guy" thing, but then I found out from Russ and Billy that this could not be the case. Later on, I realized that all that was coming from ME, not from him. I was projecting my own insecurities and issues about straight guys on to him. That high school crap of being teased and ridiculed was still tucked away in my mental baggage. This was a huge revelation to me. So the next time I saw him, I confessed, explained and apologized. I couldn't have asked for anyone to be more understanding and kind. It brought tears to my eyes, and filled my heart. I have loved Sir Michael ever since. I really work to lay down my straight guy thing, and know where its coming from before I decide what my reaction to someone means since then. Do I still meet straight guys that are assholes? Sure. But very seldom in LOCK. And much less often in the world at large since that time.

***

Anyway, after that, I went home for a while, and then got ready for Kimbley's birthday dinner. They were having it at a place called Sushi Murasaki. I had heard mixed reviews about it, but it was Kimbley's birthday, and I rationalized that I really wasn't going for the food. Well it's a good thing I wasn't, because I thought I was never going to get any. It was kind of like a live broadcast of "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares".

6:50 - arrive at the restaurant, we are told the party was scheduled for 8pm - this is not true
7:24 - still waiting for them to improvise a place to put us - there are two other parties in process, and apparently they thought that the large party in the semi-private room area would be gone in two hours. a) that's stupid; and b) as slowly as food was coming out, it was wildly optimistic.
7:45 - we are finally seated - after standing at the bar for 45 minutes
8:05 - my drink arrives. They are out of Saki cups, most likely because you have tackle a waiter to get your table pre-bussed.
8:17 - my appetizer arrives. Since I have waiting 30 minutes for it, I hug my plate to y chest and wolf it down. It was very good, I have say.
8:45 - the first part of my meal arrives - one maki roll. Again tasty, but it was a super crunch roll, and it had been made so long the crunchies were no longer crunchy.
9:25 - I finally go track down the waitress to find out about the other two things I ordered. One of them was eaten by someone else at the party. (By 9pm, it was pretty much every man for himself.) The other, another maki roll, I am offered no explanation for. The manger is standing there, and says they will have it out in 15 minutes. I am skeptical.
9:35 - I eat a birthday brownie in desperation
9:45 - I finally get the rest of my meal

For this meal, I paid almost $75. Not one thing was comped. I did have three drinks during the time I was waiting. A gratuity was added (there were 30 of us, so that wasn't a surprise, but I didn't leave an additional tip, as I ordinarily would). There was an after party, but by the time we left, I felt pretty crappy. All the alcohol on an empty stomach and all the waiting had fucked my blood sugar up (I am hypo-glycemic), so I went home and went to bed. That was the main thing I was pissed about. I missed out on a good time later.

Now, I will say, what I had was tasty, and if you went on a night that the restaurant wasn't ridiculously over-booked, the service would probably be better. The waiters were all cute as bugs. But after last night, it will be a while before I roll the dice on going back.

It was good to see Kimbley and Laura so happy. I love them dearly, and they so plainly love each other. And it was good to see their gang. Lots of love was there.

There was supposed to be a play party last night with some of the LOCK folks, and I was going to that, but it of course was canceled, dammit. Although the way I felt after dinner, I couldn't have gone anyway. At least when it's re-scheduled, I'll hopefully be able to go and enjoy it.

Politics once again rears its ugly head, and that ugly head is mine.

I got into it online with the guy from the bear dinner today, and basically unloaded on him. It just really pissed me off the stuff that he was spreading last night. So I sent him the link to a page that debunked all that stuff yet again. Of course this person being how he is, he then got all defensive, and tried to tell me that he had formed all these opinions by independently researching them, which is of course not true. I had seen the forwarded email that supplied him with his "opinions". So I got pissed and called him a lazy twit, and told him to make sure his brain was loaded before he shot his mouth off. In short, I turned in to my dad (albeit endorsing a different political agenda). Basically, he was acting like a twit, but of course calling that out is hardly the way to win friends and influence people. I think he was basically trying to be funny and show off his "knowledge" in front of the other guys, and was pissed that I debunked his "facts", as most people are when they are showed up. So now he's threatening to start drama in the bear group. He said he would write to the guys that run the group to tell them that he and his lover won't attend any function where I am present. Yes, this guy does love drama. He has started it at other events. But I feel shitty for being the cause of another episode. He and his lover had really only recently started coming to events again, and although I have (lots of) mixed feelings about their coming (this guy has a very thin skin, and is very easy to offend, for many reasons that I won't go into here, although I admit again that I was not in the least gentle with him today), but I hate that I am the reason that they are once again threatening not to do so. Right or wrong, I was a true Democratic ass today.

Then I talked to my mom, and she starts asking me about this same crap. At least mom knows that I am the kind of person who will know what is actually going on to fuel these stories. She has gotten to the point that she vets her internet rumors with me. So I sent her some links to do some reading on her own about these Barak 'issues'. And I'm thinking LORDAMERCY. First of all, is this high school, that this trivial shit is how people are choosing the next leader of the free world? And if these 'issues' ARE so important to them, why are they not finding the truth of them before making said decision!?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080121/ap_on_el_pr/obama_religion;_ylt=AsWDIxQNuFfKNDZM9f9p54Ws0NUE

I'll say it once again, I don't care if the man has his finger up his butt while he says the national anthem. What is his record and stance on the REAL ISSUES? This is what is important. The online gossip mongers are playing up the jingoistic fear that he is some kind of extremist who is going to use public office to forward some secret radical agenda. That his not putting his hand over the heart during the national anthem (once) and his refusal to take the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag (untrue) are clues to his "true nature". Who is he supposed to be, Snidely Whiplash? And let me just ask this: If he were some kind of closet extremist, trying to hoodwink the entire public so as not to reveal his "true nature", would he be acting out in these little ways, or would he be taking care to appear as blindly patriotic and flag loving as he possibly could? I think the answer is obvious. If it were me, I would be posing kissing babies dressed up like Uncle Sam. So what do these little petty kerfuffles mean then? They mean that he's a guy under intense media focus running a marathon of public events, and sometimes he screws up. Which of course means NOTHING. For once and for all - nothing.

I guess I can understand it though, after thinking about it further. Usually, by this point, we have an Anointed Front Runner, and are just going through the motions of the primaries. The party has made up our minds for us, and have (metaphorically) basically patted us on the head and said "You have your little primaries now, but we all know who the nominee is already." That isn't happening this year. On either side. And we have to use our brains. And Americans just don't like doing that. They are used to their candidates being chosen without any bothersome research. They just watch some ads and the work is done for them. This year its complicated. Also, conversely, we don't trust what they tell us. There are accepted protocols for election time, and one of them is that all the candidates will lie to you. We're so used to it, we look for tiny things that appear to be true, and that is the basis for our decisions. That is why the polls wildly fluctuate after some stupid thing happens. People are trying to seine out "truths" from the wash of bullshit that is a political campaign. I can understand the desire to have this be simple again. The fact is that it isn't this year. I'm lazy too. Trying to wade through a candidate's voting record is complicated and slow reading. But some things aren't simple; and this election is too important to be decided simply.

Additionally, I have now read that there is a huge sea change and surge of support for Obama in the black community. I am hoping this is more than the (I'm sorry, it must be said) ignorant support that Clarence Thomas got in his Supreme Court nomination. If Bill Clinton is indeed "the first black president", then Clarence Thomas is "the first white Supreme Court justice with a year round suntan". That man had done absolutely nothing for the black community (and still hasn't), yet he had overwhelming black support in the polls during his confirmation hearings. I would have blamed it on the social conservatism in the black community had it not been for the Anita Hill accusations. Those accusations had to be true, I thought at the time. What possible motivation did she have to make them otherwise? And history has proven that to be the case. So this man had nothing to offer the black community other than the color of his skin (although I believe polls at the time did indicate that that black people did not believe Anita Hill).

The cynical side of me finds it very ironic that in these primaries the unreasonable panic due to rumors in the white community may be offset by (what I arrogantly presume to be) uninformed support in the black community to effect something like fairness. Although Lord knows I wouldn't be able to run for dog catcher now without being lambasted in the media and possibly assassinated for expressing that thought. Good thing I'm a nobody.

OK even I'm sick of the sound of my own brain now. And I have a very busy day tomorrow (I SURE hope it doesn't snow). So goodnight America.

Politics rears its ugly head

The roads weren't too bad this morning, and I went on in to work. Most of the company did. I had carried a sandwich from home, just in case, and was glad I did, because the free lunch was either hamburgers, spaghetti with meat sauce, or pasta with chicken in it. Lovely. So I had my sandwich and some fries.

And those fries re-lit the fry lust in me. I have a passion for potatoes that frightens me at times, and I love fries like a fat boy loves cake. I blame it on my recently confirmed but long suspected Irish blood. So I had a (fried, of course) catfish sandwich and MORE fries for supper. Yummy. Glad I bought some fat pants.

The dinner was fun, and it was good to see everyone, as always. But of course politics came up. One of the guys was expounding on how he may not vote in the primary, just because he can't make up his mind, and I can sympathize. I still don't know for whom I'm voting. I have decided not to vote in the Republican primary for the least crazy Republican, because I don't like any of them. At one point, I would have voted for McCain, but he has spent the last two years toadying up to the religious right, after being so critical of them before. The reason I respected him before was that I thought he had the integrity to state what he truly believed. So either he was lying then to get attention, or he has sold out now and become just another politician. I'm inclined to go with the latter. Also, I heard him on his interview with NPR this week, and it was all war, war, war. He is as hell bent for leather as GW ever was. I just don't think what we need is another saber-rattler. We need a diplomat at this point.

During the course of the conversation, one of the guys in the group, whom I previously thought had the sense God gave a billy goat, came out with that jingoistic crap about how Obama is a closet Muslim radical, and how he was sworn in to the office on the Koran, and won't say the Pledge of Allegiance. These statements have been disproved over and over:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/muslim.asp

Obama's father was a Muslim, and Obama was listed as a Muslim in his ELEMENTARY SCHOOL papers, because they listed the kids under the faith of their fathers. This was from grades 1-4!! How many of you even remember grades 1-4, much less base the rest of your life on them? Obama is a Christian, and has been a member of a Christian church for almost 20 years.

The sworn in on the Quaran reference wasn't Barrack Obama, it was Keith Ellison.

The criticism over the pledge comes from ONE photograph showing him without his hand over his heart during the national anthem. BFD. Have you never forgotten? I know I have been singing it and had to move my hand.

And honestly, are these really reasons not to vote for someone? It is just this kind of jingoistic bullshit that has given us 8 years of GW and a political process that values style over substance. Who cares if he WAS a Muslim? Would it be so terrible to have someone of Muslim faith in the White House? Why would this be such a tragedy? He certainly couldn't be as intolerant of other religions as the man we have in office now, and he has somehow managed not to destroy the country, although he has given it a damn good try. Painting all Muslims as bombing radicals is the same as saying all Baptists are snake handlers. There haven't been any diamond-backs in the White House yet. And IF he was a Muslim, it would be appropriate for him to be sworn in on the Quaran. Last, the Pledge thing. If I hear one more politician wrap themselves in the flag I am just going to puke. What we need is not more mindless jingoism. What we need is a man with ideas who can help put this country back on the right track at home, and restore our tarnished regard abroad. I am much more worried about where his brain is than where his hand is. I felt the same way about Clinton. If you give me a choice between a guy who wants to diddle a fat chick, and a man hot to start World War III, I'll take the diddler every time.

So if you don't want to vote for Obama, that's fine. But know WHY you're not voting for him, and make sure those reasons are real. Look at his voting record and his positions. Don't make a knee-jerk reaction based on a bunch of bullshit fresh out of the ass of the politicial distraction machine. Don't make it quite so easy for them to pull the wool over our eyes. Please.

And no, I haven't decided to vote for Obama. I am still torn between him and Hillary Clinton. But I'm going to make sure when I make a decision, it's based on real and valid reasons.

Just for fun..

This cartoon ran in Georgia today. Just thought it was funny.

The Calm Before the Storm

Well everyone at work is all keyed up about the ice. I told everyone to be sure to get their bread and milk, then headed home. I called Russ, but he didn't feel like doing anything. This was my last ditch effort to prevent ugly weather. If I stay up too late tonight, the fates usually conspire that I have to work the next day.

Because I have to, I went by the grocery store. Did I particularly need anything? No. But this is the South, and you kind of have to go. It's the code. The one near my house wasn't nearly the crazy house I was expecting. They even had bread left. I picked up a couple of things, and actually made it out relatively quickly through the self-check.

Got home, ate supper, and was snuggled up on the couch, under a blanket, with a warm kitty on me when Justin called to ask me if it was snowing. I hadn't even realized it had started until he called. It's a fine snow, which is supposed to mean it is going to snow for a long time. We were only supposed to get an inch, but we had more than that before I went to bed. By the time I went though, it had stopped. There is some snow, but not that much, and it won't be a big deal unless it gets coated with ice overnight. Freezing rain is awful. Either way, I don't care as long as my power doesn't go out again.

If it does, I'll be spending some time with a pad and pen, putting together a list of reasons why I Hate Duke Power.

Ice is a-comin!

Those of you who do not live in the South cannot possibly understand the sheer panic that the threat of inclement weather induces. Women begin to buy bread and milk in vast quantities, because for some reason when you are trapped in the house, you must have bread and milk, or you shall surely perish. Men go into "survivor mode" and begin making sure they have 4-wheel drive vehicles in working order, and guns to protect the homestead from looters and abominable snowpeople. When the actual precipitation begins, they consign the "women-folk" to the house and go out to "lay in supplies".

There is no doubt in my mind that some Southern men spend their whole lives never visiting a grocery store except under Threat of Pending Disaster. It's kind of like the guys who go to the mall only at Christmas, but this is much more manly. You are laying in provisions on which the very lives of your family may depend during the 48 hours you are snowed or iced in.

Bad weather here taps into the primal instincts of men to protect their families, I think. We are so civilized and insulated from actual threat during the course of our day-to-day lives that this protection instinct must be even more fierce when it finally comes to the fore. South Carolinians have an uneasy relationship with precipitation at the best of times. As previously stated, something about water coming from the sky taps into a primitive sense of distrust of the elements, as well as a reverential awe for the mystery of weather. Rain makes us play bumper cars on the highway. Snow or ice - hard, debilitating precipitation - is cause for outright hysteria.

I have spent many amused times, waiting endlessly in the snarled checkout lines at the grocery store (because I have kitties who need bread and milk too, you know), watching the things people Must Have if they are going to be unable to leave their houses. Like skinny women laying in cases of Oreos, and the strange instinct straight men have to buy large quantities of canned meat (I don't know either). One year, my dad went by the local McDonald's, just as they were getting ready to send the staff home. He bought like 35 leftover cheeseburgers and hamburgers that they were going to throw out, bringing them triumphantly home. The hunter had Provided! Some non-traditionalists here insist that the weather services are in the pay of the grocery stores, and contracted to announce pending bad weather periodically just to help move old stock.

Now for those Yankees reading this, and chuckling condescendingly, I will tell you there is a kernel of truth in all this panic. Since we rarely have bad winter weather here, we don't have the road equipment you guys do, sand and salt trucks, etc. There are some, but not really enough to adequately maintain the roads when things go really wrong. Also, people here have no idea how to drive in snow or ice. They are really dangerous if they are on the road. I'm not usually as worried about me losing control of my vehicle as I am about the other crazy loons out on the road. Also, we don't usually get just snow. We get ice and freezing rain. This coats the roads in a shining laminate of ice that is, as my father says, "slick as owl snot". Add to this the fact that the temperature is usually hovering around freezing, and rather than just ice, you have ice coated with a thin sheen of water in the day time. Basically a big "Slip n Slide" for cars. The final kernel of truth in this panic is the Billybob factor. There are redneck guys around here that wait with great impatience for the inclement weather. They then get out in the 4-wheel drive vehicles to "scout" or just revel in the fact that they can be out in it, while Lesser Mortals have to remain (prudently) at home. Additionally, they want to help others. These men either have no families, or are unable to slake their protectionist instincts by buying cases of Treet. They must not only protect their own, but go out to Rescue Others. The problem is that most of them have no idea how to drive in snow and ice, and they frequently end up a) causing additional peril; b) unable to help those in need of rescue; or c) in need of rescue themselves. I am sure there are many dedicated men in our fire, ambulance, and rescue services who fervently wish that the sale of 4-wheel drive vehicles was immediately banned to the general public.

I am driven to these contemplations by the announcement today at work that inclement weather is to arrive on Thursday of this week. Thus far, the office has made the following announcements:

1) The quarterly meeting, scheduled for 8am on Thursday, is to be re-scheduled (always welcome news, whatever the reason).

2) Thursday is to be a "blue-jeans" casual day. Because I would be much more likely to risk life and limb, if only I could wear blue jeans to do it in.

3) They are providing free lunch for all employees in the cafeteria on Thursday. Because after all, it would be well worth totaling my car, provided I get a free chicken sandwich!

They cynical side of me thinks that these are pretty stupid (cheap) incentives to get people to come in, done because if our call center here is disrupted, the company stands to lose millions. If our customers can't get through to us, they will call a competitor. In these days of just-in-time inventory, a delay of hours is unthinkable. The other side of me can see their side of things. If there is a single visible crystal of ice outside Thursday morning, 3/4 of our workforce will call in, regardless of the condition of the roads. I have seen it happen. For some reason, the words "Snow Day" can make irresponsible children of the best of us.

***

In other news, my friend Rodney came over for dinner last night. It was nice. I had some Tuscan Bread Soup in the freezer, so I baked that and did an improvised salad of mixed spring greens and tomatoes, with Christmas ice cream for dessert. It was quite nice, and it was very good to see him. He's a sweetheart.

He's a very important guy for a large company, and travels all over the world. He lived in Mexico for a year at one point. I love cooking for him, because he really likes to eat, and doesn't have a huge, picky "won't eat it" list, as so many of my friends around here do. Plus, he lives right around the corner, so it's easy for him to pop round for dinner. Since it looks like he'll be in the country more for the next little bit, I'll have to have him over more often.

He's also a smart guy. We discussed politics for a while when "The Daily Show" came on, and he's having as hard a time as I am deciding whom to vote for in the primaries. He says he can live with any of the top Democratic candidates, and will vote for the least crazy Republican canditate in the primary (probably McCain) since we have an open primary. I have done that in the past as well. The Democratic Primary here is pretty much a formality, usually, although the state could go blue this year (I doubt it, but I have heard unsubstantiated hot n juicy rumors to that effect). We both lament the way the system has developed to keep an honest or average person from ever being elected. Sigh.

Pondering Significance

I've been thinking about why the china cabinet sat empty for so long today. That room in general remains pretty much unfinished and casually half empty. Or maybe not so casually.

I read an article one time that made a big impression on me. It was talking about how you could tell by your furniture if you were really open to a relationship or not. One of the signs was whether or not you had two bedside tables, or only one. At the time, my room was arranged so that there was only room for one bedside table, but you can bet that when Michael moved in, it was arranged differently, because I never forgot that.

The spare room, where the china cabinet is, is where most of Michael's things were. His piles of books he couldn't part with (but never read), the computer stuff (still in there), his beloved file cabinet with all the bill statements from years back (I don't know either). The china cabinet was used at that point for book overflow. A lesser cabinet would have probably collapsed under the weight, but this one was made of sterner (though uglier) stuff, and bore up.

The rest of my house is done. I have it all furnished, and indeed there really isn't room for another stick of furniture in any of the other rooms. Only the spare room remains vaguely echo-y. Putting the glass back in the china cabinet yesterday was an acknowledgment. I have re-claimed that space as mine.

Can that glass come back out if I need the room? Sure. I guess today I'm kind of wondering if it ever will. I'm wondering if starting to finish that room is really acknowledging that Michael isn't coming back, or starting the filling-in process that is me giving up on the possibility of someone else in the future.

A Lovely Sunday

My depression glass, back on display thanks to Sweet Justin

Well I wrung pretty much every possible bit of fun out of today.

Started with a great flea market run (see other entry), and pizza for breakfast. Justin called about coming over, and so I tidied up a bit, and had time for coffee on the front porch before he got there. I cleaned out the ugly china cabinet in the study, because I knew he wanted to put my depression glass in it. I had told him we'd get it down out of the attic and look at it all, since he is developing and interest in it. Did a Quorn Turk'y Roast to eat sarnies on this week.

We played in the glass all afternoon, and I got down my iced tea tumblers for my main pattern (not pictured), which I had never unwrapped. They are extremely rare, and pretty expensive, but I figured there was no point in having them if I didn't use them at some point. So they are all washed, de-labeled, and in the cabinet now.

We made an emergency run to the antique stores for plate stands so Justin could do the arrangement of glass the way he wanted in the china cabinet. We ran into the antique store, moments before they closed, in desperate need of plate stands. It was an exceedingly homo moment. I suppose the store owner was used to such, as he handled it without raising an eyebrow; but then I am sure we were not the first homosexuals he had ever seen .

Then we met Russ at his place, went to dinner, and watched the new Hairspray movie. I have to say, I intended to see it, because I knew John Waters was still involved in the production, but after I saw the stills for John Travolta in the role of Edna Turnblad, my enthusiasm was dimmed considerably, and it was never that white-hot to start with. Personally, I felt that it was a re-make that was not needed.

I have to say, I did enjoy it much more than I thought I would. It was a good time.

- Nikkie Blonsky was absolutely charming as Tracy. I loved her from from the first frame she appeared in. I think I liked her better than Riki Lake, honestly.

- I really enjoyed Christopher Walken as Wilbur, and really didn't expect to. He brought a believable heartwarming affection and charm to the role that really surprised me.

- I thought I would miss Debbie Harry. She was quintessential in the first one. I was absolutely wrong. Michelle Pfeiffer played the villain with an evil relish and a diva turn that was completely satisfying.

- Zac Efron was not anywhere near as hot as the original Link, but he was adequate. He was more than compensated for, however, by James Marsden, who was just SMOKIN hot in 50's drag as Corny Collins.

- I was afraid that they would "Hollywood-ize" the chubby-chaser subtext out of the new movie. Part of what I liked about the old version was that Mr. Pinky really did like those larger women. There was always the undercurrent that this was the reason he went into big women's fashion. The women sensed he wasn't just using them, he really thought they were beautiful. I have to say, that aspect of the movie, far from being downplayed, was actually celebrated in the charming duet between Walken and Travolta. A most pleasant surprise. It was also firmly in the background of Pfeiffer's attempted seduction of Walken. Well played. I also loved Queen Latifa's empowered song about being big and beautiful. She is a lovely woman, and I applaud any media that counters the ridiculous body image women in America regularly have forced down their throats. Although, I will say that the use of food for motivation for Edna and Motormouth Mabel did take on a "fat chick" joke quality after it was repeated several times.

- I loved all the cameos from people in the original movie. That was really cool.

There were, however, drawbacks. Most notably John Revolta as Edna Turnblad. He was every bit as horrible in the role as I feared. He pulled off a couple of scenes, as when he became the "agent" at the Hefty Hideaway interview, and I have to say the duet he did with Christopher Walken was lovely, but I think that was due more to good direction and editing than the actual performance. And his turn in the finale was frankly appalling. The best I can say about his performance was the it did progress from wincingly bad to the ability to at least avoid negative focus by the end of the film. What the HELL were they thinking?? Were they thinking at ALL?? I can't believe John Waters allowed that travesty to occur.

- As much as I love her, you just can't replace Ruth Brown with Queen Latifa. She was good, and her march song brought dignity and honor to her role (necessary after her earlier degradation on the Corny Collins Show bits, which I was honestly surprised to see her do), but I still liked Ruth better.

- The screenplay had been purged of almost all of the Waters-esque dialog. The only one who got any good Waters-style lines was Mrs. Pingleton. She was funny, but once again, I thought the original Mrs. Pingleton was better. That could have been that she had more part to work with. The role in this movie was considerably smaller.

- I didn't like that Little Inez won Miss Hairspray. I thought that was kind of stupid and hackneyed. But I will admit, no more hackeneyed than Tracy predictably winning in the original. But this was obviously a plot twist just for the sake of having a plot twist.

Bottom line. I liked the music from this one better, but the acting in the first one was better, and the dialog was the classic John Waters dialog. If you rob the story of that, you kind of remove it from the unreal John Waters world, which to me detracts from the story. So I'll have the soundtrack for the new one, but keep watching the old one. If I bought the new one, it would be only for the great musical numbers, and the absolutely charming performance of Ms. Blonsky. OK, I may have to have both.

***

But I didn't get in bed until after 12 again. That makes Mondays tough.

The (unfair) case against Hillary Clinton

I have been doing a lot of thinking this month about Hillary, and just why she is so publicly vilified, and at last I think I have figured it out.

She came out of the closet.

Hillary Clinton has been reviled as having been too ambitious and too involved in her husband's presidency by the same people who now say she wasn't involved enough to claim White House experience.

But first ladies who were active in their husband's presidencies are hardly new. Eleanor Roosevelt is an obvious example. Also roundly criticized at the time, although many now revere her as a woman before her time. She also, coincidentally, had to bear up with grace while her husband philandered. Many to this day do not know how FDR died - being fellated by his mistress in her apartment. His body was moved back to the White House, and the "polite fiction" was maintained by the press, and by his widow, that he died quietly in his own bed. Can you imagine Bill Clinton getting away with that one? But another time for my rant about the media.

Nancy Reagan, love her or hate her, ran her husband's presidency during much of his second term. He was debilitated by the onset of Alzheimer's disease even then. It's just not enough time has passed for this to be acknowledged - another polite fiction presently intact. We had a dementia victim with his hand on the button for those four years.

Edith Wilson, wife of Woodrow, ran the country for six months when he was recovering from a stroke. If you disagree on the Nancy Reagan example, Mrs. Wilson's story is well accepted and documented by prominent historians. The polite fiction was maintained that she was reading all papers to her husband, discussing them with him, and "acting on his instructions".

So what did Hillary do that was so different? I'll tell you. She didn't maintain the polite fiction. She stepped out from behind her husband. She rightly said, I am part of a team, but I am a person in my own right. I am doing the work, and I will acknowledge that publicly. This was her great sin. And good for her. During the Clinton presidency, women everywhere had long been accepted as equals by any fair-minded person. Women contribute equally (indeed sometimes more) than men do to our culture and our country. It is ridiculous that we expect the presidency to stand alone as an example of times-gone-by that never were. Because she stepped forward, she was perceived as pushy and assertive, not womanly. Well bullshit. I'm sorry. There have always been assertive goal-oriented women kicking the pants of men who needed it. And God Bless 'em. There is nothing un-womanly about demanding to be treated with equality and respect.

The next thing she is guilty of is for the failure of her health-care reform efforts. The subset on this one is, of course, that she chose a "real" issue to be her First Lady project, rather than something innocuous and "lady-like" (more sexist bullshit, see above). First, at the time she tried to do this, she was a Washington neophyte. This was really too big a job to take on as your first thing. The equivalent of a sixth grader choosing to make a working nuclear reactor as a science fair project. Secondly, few at that time had the vision to see or acknowledge the coming health care crisis. Because this wasn't perceived as something that needed to be done, it was very hard for her to enlist any help or cooperation. The equivalent of trying to warn Victorians about the damage of Radon gas in their homes. Third, I will say this. If you haven't failed at something, that means you haven't tried anything new or different. Thomas Alva Edison went through a thousand tries before he hit on a successful light bulb filament. I think one failure on an issue as complex as overhauling our entire health care system can be forgiven.

So there are the big reasons that Hillary is so reviled by so many. Doesn't seem very fair does it?

These are my reservations about her:

1) Her position as a polarizing figure (fair or not) is a drag on the ticket.
2) Unfortunately, I think there are many men in this country who will not vote for a woman for president.
- that's me playing pundit
3) She is the ultimate Washington insider candidate. That is a sword that cuts both ways. I have no doubt that she would be able to take the reins of the presidency from day one. And yes, she can probably deliver more actual results than a president who is trying to change the political system. But on the other hand, do we really need more of the same?

Things will never change if we keep electing the same kinds of people. At this point in the country, I would like to see the government focusing on more long term goals than just getting re-elected. I would be willing to forgo short-term progress to see some real changes happen. I would like to see the system change. I would like to see an America where you didn't have to be ridiculously wealthy or in the pocket of special interests to have enough money to run for president. I would like to see term limits for Congress - we are desperately in need of new blood and new ideas. I would like to see the term of Presidency go from four to six years, particularly with the election process now shaping into a 2 year run. As screwed as we would have been this last time had it worked that way, I think ultimately it would be a better system.

I can no longer bitch (for a while anyway)

"Waterford" or "Waffle" 13 3/4" sandwich platter, by Hocking (before they were Anchor Hocking) circa 1938-1944

about my glass luck being all used up. I found this "Waterford" pattern (the slang name is "Waffle") depression glass platter at the jockey lot this morning, and talked the woman down to $3. I now have a matching set of these. I wasn't going to buy this one unless I got a good price for it, because the other one I bought in Blue Ridge, GA one time when Michael and I were visiting his parents at their cabin, and I paid more than retail for it. Only $12.50, but I was still pissed, because I thought I had gotten a deal, and because I don't usually buy crystal pieces. This one has a small chip off the inner rim, but covered with scrumptious food, and as part of a stunning matched set flanking a non-existent buffet, I don't think anyone will ever notice. Also, all the "teeth" on the outer edge are perfect, surprisingly.

The first time I showed my other platter like this to Sweet Justin, he said "If I just saw that, I would think it came from Wal-Mart. Seriously." LOL

Yay! Saturday!

OK, first. Before I get started. I got a flier for the Peace Center, and they were advertising a show called "The Drowsy Chaperone", with Georgia Engle. I couldn't believe my eyes. She looks EXACTLY the same as she did in Mary Tyler Moore 40 YEARS AGO. And the pic doesn't look airbrushed either. Either she has a standing with some good plastic surgeon, or this woman has sold her soul to Satan. Moving on.

***

FAB jockey lot day. Bargains Galore! Got some new (really new) jeans for $9 a pair. JC Penny brand, but carpenter jeans, my fave. After the holidays, I am in need of new jeans, at least temporarily (I tell myself). Also found a pair of Georgia steel-toe logger boots for $3. They were a bit grotty, but really all they needed was a good cleaning up. The toes are a bit scuffed, they have been used to work in, but for a $100 pair of boots, I will give them a polish.

So I got home, ate some brekkie, and watched two episodes of How Clean is Your House? I just love that show, and it was two I hadn't seen today. Then I worked on my new boots, getting them cleaned up. Then I thought it really wasn't fair to clean them all up when I had two other pairs here that really needed some love. So I cleaned them up too. I also put to the test an old biker trick that my mother's ex-husband told me about. He said bikers use nothing on their leathers but Vaseline. He swore that mink oil and that stuff rots the stitching, but thin layer of petroleum jelly conditions and preserves the leather AND stitching, while making it waterproof as well. I have to tell you, it works a charm. Those grotty looking boots I bought yesterday look great, and my own boots look great too. And not the least bit greasy or sticky. It works on shiny boots or oiled leather. The key is to make sure the leather is clean and dry, and then apply a VERY thin coat. You just touch you rag to the jelly and then rub it in. You only need three or four touches to do a boot. And I have big feet.

After that, it was nap time. I had intended to do some cleaning, but as usual, not much got done. And Justin is coming tomorrow, so I have to at least dust. I did haul off the recycling, do a bit of wash, and take out the trash. But there is so much more that needs to be done.

But I wasn't about to spend Saturday night cleaning. I hadn't seen Miss Kat and dana since Christmas, so I went to hang out with them last night. I had been talking to a guy on Bear411 about politics, so that was on my mind. We had a really good conversation about politics, but I'm still not sure who I'm going to vote for in the primary. I was solid Obama until about a week ago, but now I have doubts. Both Obama and Clinton have their good and bad points, so now I'm torn. Unfortunately, I'm still not decided, but talking with other people is helping me work things out.

A Lovely Mood

When I got off work on Friday I was in way too good a mood to stay at home by myself. I ate supper, then called Russ about going over there. Went and hung out with him. We watched Epic Movie, which was pretty much as vile as the critics said it was, but sometimes I just need something stupid. It was nice just to hang out with Russ. Billy got home later too.

Happy Ending for a Thursday*

Average day, but an Aviance night

Now that George is seen to, I can relax and enjoy the weekend. Don't know what I'll do yet. Mom has hinted about us going up to Wilkesboro this weekend to see my grandparents, but it never really firmed up.

I still want to play Bunny Bump, but thankfully, not as badly as earlier in the week. Only played a couple of games of Tetris.

Quorn Turk'y Roast!

I found a new author last month, Jasper Fforde. I started one of the Thursday Next novels today, The Eyre Affair. The books are supposed to be a cross between V.I. Warshawski and the Douglas Adams books, which appealed to me, although I was a bit concerned that the grounding in English Lit might be a bit too learned for me. As it is, I had no trouble getting into the book at all. Thursday Next is a delightfully competent and smart woman with a troubled past. I like strong female protagonists, and of course at this stage in my life a troubled past romantic life is something with which I can really identify. I also love her dotty uncle the inventor, who reminds me a bit of an absent-minded Q (from James Bond). I always love finding a new author. I'm still going to read the rest of Charlaine Harris, but I bought her next one, so I have to read the library books first. She also is doing that "hopping" thing that Mary JaniceDavidson does where they put short stories that continue the narrative of their novels in collections of short stories, so you have to find and read those before you can read the next novel in the series. Since I hate reading that stuff out of order, it's a bit of a pain in the ass.

Stopped off at Whole Foods last night on my way home, and they had Quorn Turk'y Roasts back in! Hooray! I promptly bought two. I'll have turk'y and swiss sarnies for lunch next week. Mmmm. Also bought a bit of goat's milk Gouda, the best cheese EVER! So much for the un-cheez. Ironically, I don't like regular gouda, it's too smooth and soft, and just turns to a gelatinous yuck for mouth feel to me. But I could eat a truckload of goat's milk Gouda. With a texture similar to cheddar, but a distinctly mellow yet gamey flavor, it is the best ever. Michael's step-dad Bill introduced us to it, and after I gobbled down most of the pound, I asked them what it was. It was just "Bill Cheese" for a long time after that. It's expensive, but hey, I have to have a treat every now and then (said Gigantor). It's been a month since I bought my Mimolette, which I also love. And at $14.99/lb. (to Mimolette's $19.95/lb.) this was a relative bargain. Of course I just bought about 4 oz.

After that, I virtuously went home and ate leftovers. Had a bit of avocado for the good fat and b-complex vitamins, and some brown rice cakes with flax seed in them, so had a huge Omega-3 rush last night. Trying to detox from all the holiday crap I ate. Of course I had Snow Cream for dessert, since I still have about a gallon of ice cream in my fridge, in total. Sigh.

Still preoccupied with "Bunny Bump" thoughts. Played 87 games of Tetris last night.

Such a Good Boy!

I had gotten some BJ's coupons in the mail, so I went in tonight after work to see how good the deals were. Meh, not so great. You have to watch them, some stuff is just as cheap retail, without buying a 55 gallon drum. So, I looked around a bit, saw what they had on sale from the holidays, etc. I spent only $4, getting a new calendar for my desk at work. I use a desktop pad to keep track of my social engagements. So much easier to be able to see a whole month at a glance.

I can't believe I spent only $4 at BJ's, despite the temptations. But the fridge is full, and I am mostly stocked up on BJ's stuff right now.

I also finally finished the book Atonement by Ian Mcewan, which I have been reading on for about a month, since I didn't do any reading over the holiday, as I had expected. It reminded me of The Night Watch by Sarah Waters. Both fairly grim, both set during WWII in the UK. Atonement did have a more satisfactory ending than The Night Watch, but you worked for it. The movie for A has won all kinds of awards already, but now I'm not sure if I want to see it. You have to get through an awful lot of grim to get to a really pretty small payoff. I like to see my characters happy, or at least I like to see them happy for a while after they overcome whatever. Or if they must be unhappy, I prefer they be unhappy in an amusing way. I live enough life in quiet desperation, measuring out my days with coffee spoons. That is not entertainment to me. I suppose that makes me shallow, but that's the way I am.

In other news, the "Bunny Bump" Wii music (instrumental version of the disco song "Good Times" by Chic) has been stuck in my head for two days. I don't know if they have crack in the controllers or what, but I seriously had to stop myself from calling Billy to beg going over to play that game today. After all, it's his present, and I don't want him to think I'm only going over there to play Wii. I have never thought this much about a video game before. I downloaded a free version of Tetris to act as my methodone.

I didn't feel good today. Soooooo tired. Made some soy crumble stroganoff. I thought I had a good recipe for stroganoff, but apparently I have lost it. It turned out OK. Not enough sauce.

Did some laundry, turned in early.

Anderson or Bust!*

Anderson Jockey Lot happiness, with fabric softener!

Justin stayed over last night so we could go to the Jockey Lot this morning! WoooHoo!

I don't usually go to Anderson on Sundays, because usually there is no one there, but I have noticed that the crowds have started coming back the last couple of times we went. There was a good crowd there of both sellers and shoppers today. Of course the weather was absolutely stunningly gorgeous.

After a virtuous meal of nut milk and un-cheez grilled sandwiches, we set out. The sarnies really weren't that bad. They just taste almost but not quite completely unlike cheese. If you just accept that, they're edible.

We had a great time. I got a grey hoodie for $7, and it looks really good, but there is no logo on it. I figured for that price I'd take it over to White Horse Rd and have them paint something cool on it for me at the airbrush place. I also got some Bath and Body Works soap for 0.50, and two bottles of 80 use Downy for $3 each, a fantastic deal. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of making eye contact with the guy selling it to me, as well as expressing a mild interest in the good bargain. This resulted in a 15 minute story about how he got the Downy, who else bought some, how they sold it, and on and on, but I was finally able to peel myself away.

There was lots of good eye candy to day too. I just love redneck boys. Well at least my libido does. That is the sad dichotomy of my life. My mind wants someone with wit and excellent conversation, but my loins quiver over a Skoal ring on the back pocket. Does such a man exist?

Still no glass. I wonder how long I used up my glass karma for this summer. I did make some excellent finds last year, so I really can't complain. We stopped at a cool antique mall on the way home. I found a Windsor pink 6 3/4" pitcher there, but they wanted too much for it. Priced $30, she would have sold it to me for $27, but book value on it is only $25. That's just more than I will pay. At this point, the story is as important as the piece itself, and since I really don't need anything, if I can't get a deal on it, I usually won't buy it.

While we were in Anderson, I started craving hot dogs. You know how you just get those cravings sometimes? Well for some reason, Russ was craving them too. He and Billy called to ask if they made veggie hot dogs (they do) and if I wanted to come over for them (I did). I also made the chili, since I have an excellent chili recipe. Russ even found the best veggie dogs, the Smart Dogs bun length, that are usually hard to find at this time of year. But they wanted to grill them. You just can't grill veggie dogs. The get big bubbles all over them, and they don't turn out well. Well I tried to tell Billy this, but they already had the grill on, and he was doing the cooking. He put them on anyway. They turned out really tough, but otherwise they were good. Ah well, live and learn.

We also started exploring different games on the Wii. A lot of them are too frantic for me. I have poor hand-eye coordination, and am not much of a gamer. But I have to say some of the Wii games are really fun. I am getting the hang of tennis now, and really like it. I like the bowling too. But we played the best game EVER tonight: The Bunny Bop game.

I don't even know the name of the game. There's just these bunnies that dance out in a disco, and you whack them in the head to the beat of the music for points. We didn't get to play much, but I REALLY liked that game.