A post in which I have a melt down

I dragged myself out of bed and to the office; with no cigarettes yet. I went into my boss's office and registered my displeasure with this steaming pile they have seen fit to dump on my desk to deal with. It's probably a good thing I didn't catch him yesterday - I was so upset I would have probably ended up getting fired. I explained to him that since the reward for taking things professionally and working hard was still more work, that I was in his office to complain like everyone else. My spleen (mostly) vented, I went out to my desk and got to work.

At first things went well, but then I got bogged down and couldn't get anything done. I had no idea what a lot of the things were or where the information came from. I was frustrated and had a headache.

When I got off work I decided to go by Whole Foods. There was something I really needed there, and I usually enjoy going. I was pretty shell-shocked when I got there. I would have just wandered around in a fugue state if I hadn't seen Vince. I forgot he works there, and a lot of the time when I go in he doesn't have time to talk, but he did today. He was nice to me, but I held it together. I told him I was having a hard day, and I'm sure he could tell I wasn't quite myself. When he walked up and slipped some flowers in my buggy, I started having a melt-down. These were the first flowers a man has given me since the last ones Michael gave me on our last anniversary. The combination of the horrible day and then the niceness on top of it took down almost the last of my control.

When I walked up to Vince on the way out to thank him I started to cry. I almost lost it completely. But I did manage to thank him and make it out of the store before I lost it completely.

I decided it was a good evening to spend at home, quietly. I did so.

I did make an effort to find good stuff to think about. I got in touch with John from the party last weekend, and made a dinner date with him for Saturday. Miss Kat's out of town and Russ and Billy will be at the Fall camp-out, so that's pretty much perfect timing. I also talked to Eve and made plans to have dinner with them tomorrow night. That's better than coming home and sitting here by myself.