A post in which I accomplish nothing at work

The computers were down all. Day. Today. Ugh. So we sat and fooled around, and waited for them to come back up. But that has its limitations.

Nancy (a friend at work) knows about my health situation, and she gave me the sweetest card today. Of course I almost cried. But then I cry at the drop of a hat these days.

I went straight home after work (despite being ravenously hungry), ate leftovers (not a huge sacrifice since I still had chips from Sunday and some of James's gorgous potato salad in the fridge), and astonishingly did everything I intended to do tonight. I had some snap beans I had picked up this weekend just because they were so pretty, but after the Sunday funday I hadn’t done anything with them, so I snapped and cooked them. I changed out a load of laundry.

I’m trying to decide what I’m going to do about this weekend. Its Mom’s weekend at Granny’s and Granny is still in the hospital. This was the week she was scheduled to be released, but the last I heard she was in no shape to be at home. On the one hand I’d like to go up and see her and Mom, but on the other hand I don’t want to go up and be in the way. I’ll talk to her about it.

Justin called to talk for a bit tonight. It was good to hear from him. We talked about the fact that I usually spend a good bit of time alone during the week now. I am feeling a bit better from the E-B crap (thank you God), but still many times I don’t feel like going anywhere when I get home. At the same time, weekday evenings are depressing to me. I feel like I work all day (most days), and then go home to - well, nothing. It’s a conundrum. I need to go back to school, but (ugh) I just can’t bear the thoughts of it. Plus I don’t feel like I can start anything right now. Everything is on hold for now until I find out whether or not I have to have surgery. It’s kind of the same way when I think about dating.

First, I seem to be off men again. I think about dating, or about sex, every now and then, but it just seems to be so much work. Plus, I can’t imagine meeting someone, and now having to add to the talk “Oh, by the way, they may cut my crotch out in a month or so, possibly leaving me impotent for life. Just thought I'd lay that out there for ya.” All in all, it just doesn’t seem that the timing is right.

I’m going to see if I can persuade myself to do bits of housework in the evenings when I get home instead of watching TV and playing on the computer. Lord knows there is plenty that needs to be done, and I read an article that was talking about how spending time online leads to depression.