A post in which we go to see BB

I went on to work today. I had worked ahead, but there were still things to do.

I coordinated with the ac guy and he fixed the air conditioner, which was a blessed relief.

After touching base repeatedly with Lisa, she go to my house about 4:30 and we went on up to Flat Rock. It had been a long day for Lisa & Co. Cole had a half day at school and is preparing for exams. Carl had a half day at work. Lisa had to get the baby and herself ready for an extended car trip. Then they drove up from Columbia. Ava refused to take a nap. When they got to Greenville, Carl had to go see about a truck he's thinking about buying. Then they came by here to pick me up and we drove up to NC.

Elizabeth house, where BB is in hospice, is a very nice place as Eve said. The staff were very kind. They took us back to her room, where Eve was already sitting with her. She's off all of her medications except for anti-anxiety and something to help her breathe so she's more comfortable. Since she's off her heart medication, she was pretty swollen up; and since she's on a good bit of morphine, she was sleepy. She spends most of her time now sleeping. But we woke her up gently and talked to her for a bit. I went up to take her hand, but her hands are very bruised from the IVs and things they had in them at the hospital. I stroked her arm and she opened her eyes and recognized me. She said, "It's all right. This was the right decision, and I'm OK." I stroked her hair a bit, kissed her a couple of times, and told her I love her.

She was very drowsy, and wandering in and out a bit, but I understood most of what she said to me. When we got there, she told Eve that we should all go home and get some rest. She said "There's no sense talking. What's said today is forgotten tomorrow anyway." I couldn't help but think she was referring to the Cindy situation. She was glad to see me, and I know she loves me, but I couldn't help but think that when she was looking around she was looking for Cindy. That breaks my heart for her that Cindy wasn't there. Lisa spoke to her, and Ava talked a bit. Cole was a bit shy about going over. After we spoke to her, we left her to rest, which is what she seemed to want.

Eve told me that at the hospice, they ask the patients what they want to be called when they check in. BB asked that all the staff call her BB instead of Elizabeth, or Mrs. Campbell. Yeah, that broke my heart a little more.

We drove back down the mountain and went to dinner with Mom and Dad. Of course we went to Capri's. It seems like that restaurant plays a big role in our family gatherings and has for years. Birthdays, dates, bad times and good times. We enjoy the food and it kind of feels like our place, sort of another dining room that isn't attached to the house. As usual, our waitress was a complete gem, and made us feel right at home.

I told the story about the year we went there for Cindy's birthday. BB was there. The waitress was very nice, but she was doing the "sweetie/honey" thing to BB, which she could not STAND. BB was very dignified, and really hated that many people condescend and talk down to older people. I was like, "BB the meal is almost over, just let her live until we leave." She was pretty mad about it at the time, but it's funny now.

Lisa and Carl dropped me off at my place on their way out of town. Lisa was not going to miss the chance to meet M before anyone else did. She's been reading about him and was naturally curious. He was here waiting for me, thankfully. I was so glad to see him. He was of course nice to Lisa and her family, and they visited for a bit, but they had to get on the road.

When they left, I was just wiped out. It had been a long day for me, and I felt about a hundred years old - just exhausted and used up. M and I went to bed, and he listened to me talk about BB for a while. I told him the story about going to see her in the hospital years ago, and about how she told me she wouldn't change anything about me because she thought I was a nice young man. "I'd agree," M said softly, "well maybe except about the young part..." And with that little bit of gentle teasing to lighten my mood a bit, we went to sleep. I am so glad that he was here. It's so nice to feel cared for again in that way.