I was up early this morning, surprisingly. When I finally got to bed last night I was still wired for sound basically. R&B and I talked for a while, but then they went to sleep. And snored. Russ snores pretty badly. Then a scene started up across the hall. By this time it was like 4am, and I’m thinking I know they came to play, but give me a break!
I didn’t want to wake Russ and Billy, so I just got dressed as quietly as I could and left the room. I went downstairs and got a cup of coffee, then headed out to find some cigarettes. I had run out yesterday, and had been bumming off Mys Shay last night. I walked around for a while in the relative quiet of a Sunday morning in Decatur. I was still feeling really good. I eventually found a grocery store and got some smokes, then headed back to the hotel. There were a couple of other subs standing around outside, and we started talking. We talked about managing energy, how we each worked through pain, etc. Sub talk. One woman, orange, was very sweet, and talked to me for a long time about my new relationship with M, and how this trip had affected it, among other things. She had gotten matching cuttings on her thighs last night that were really cool.
I was very reassured to get some text messages from M this morning, and we had been texting back and forth a bit. I had left him a voice mail last night before I went down to the dungeon, but didn’t hear back from him last night. He went back to River’s Edge this weekend with Glen. He was in his usual jokey, snarky mode today, but as usual after a whoopin, I had the strength of ten Grinches plus two, was radiating sweetness, and kind of in “choir boy” mode.
I headed on in to the dungeon area, and just sat for a while in the space we had played in last night, getting in a little ‘air time’ before breakfast.
Eventually, Billy texted me that they were up, and I went upstairs to pack while he was in the shower. I got cleaned up and got all my stuff ready to go. When I went into the bathroom, I could see that I had lovely flogging patches on my shoulder blades from last night, and beautiful dark purple spots, kind of like leopard spots, across my shoulders. Eventually Russ got up, and we decided to go get brunch while Billy packed them up. He didn’t think he could walk to the restaurant. Russ and I went downstairs, and finally got our SELF t-shirts. They found two tank tops, but it was touch and go for a minute there. Russ gave me the first one, which I thought was very nice of him.
I remembered that Café Alsace had a brunch menu, and I had been wanting to try the food there, so we strolled over. The inside of the place was thick with ambiance. It was a small bistro with high ceilings. There were shelves all the way up the walls on the right, with various little things for sale (French soaps, little coffee sets, etc). On the left wall were many pictures (the ubiquitous French art advertising posters present among them, of course), and a vintage bicycle hung from the ceiling. The dishes on the menu were in French, but the food descriptions in English. The café au lait was translated as a latte, which kind of killed my hope that they would have true café au lait mixed at table. I had put my tank top on, and I could see the waitress sneaking glances at my shoulders as she took our order. I actually thought that was very funny. I felt extremely kinky sitting in this little café, my badges of honor for the world to see. It was like something out of a book.
We ordered our food and chatted in between listening to the very opinionated woman at the next table carry on a conversation with the waitress, the person at the table next to her, and pretty much anyone else who would listen. I was amused by the décor, which was just a tad pretentious. They had bottles of Beaujolais Nouveau set high on shelves, as if to age, which was funny to me. Our food came. Russ had a crepe, which he said was delicious. I had an Omlette de Champignons-Epinard – a spinach and mushroom omelet (I couldn’t decide if I really wanted it, or if I just ordered it just because it was so much fun to say). I had ordered a side of hollandaise to go with it, but theirs wasn’t as good as mine. I like extra lemon, and this was a bit lumpy. We both ate cold, hard, European-style toast with what proclaimed itself to be French strawberry jam, but came in little plastic tubes.
We took a croissant sandwich back to Billy (I know, about as French as the so-named dressing), but he said it was soggy and not good. I was disappointed for him, because I had bought brunch as a way to say thank you to them for letting me stay in their room. That was the only way I could really afford to take this trip.
We got the cars all packed up, and then went on to the classes for today. I went into Big Red’s class on communication more to see more of she and dillan than because of the subject, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed. First, I learned what kind of communicator I am, and finally figured out the role I had in the death of the relationship with Michael. That was a huge thing. Secondly, it gave me the tools of how to have a conflict discussion without it turning into something unhealthy (hopefully). I have been feeling static on the line with M since last Thursday, and felt that now I could discuss it with him in the right way.
After class, R&B came in to say their good-byes. They were getting on the road. I was ready to go too, but there was a cookout going on, and Big Red, dillan, and lydia were going over there. They talked me into going with them. In truth, I did want to spend some more time with them, but I was torn because I was also anxious to get home. It was 4pm. When we went outside, they were out of plates at the cookout, and there was a long line. I was antsy, and Big Red could tell, so she gave me leave to go. I said my goodbyes to them and to Mys Shay, and hit the road.
I texted M as I left, and let him know I was on the way. He was surprised I was just then leaving, as was I. I had intended to come back earlier today, but was really glad I had stayed for the class. I got home, unpacked, cleaned up, and headed for his place. There was still static on the line between us. After being apart for three days, it sounded to me as if he was still making noises like he really didn’t want to see me initially. I found out why when I got to the house.
He has been having some problems he didn’t talk to me about, and acted out this weekend while I was gone. I hadn’t really intended to have this talk tonight. He was tired from camping and partying this weekend, and I was still kind of flying from the weekend. I was tired too – I only had about 4 hours sleep last night. But once we got started, I knew we needed to go ahead and do this. When he first told me about what happened, I was really hurt. I felt my heart just crush in my chest. But because I had the tools to talk to him about what happened, I thought it turned into a fairly productive talk about the relationship. M was also horrified when he saw my back. Apparently although he has dated a leather guy before, he wasn’t a heavy player. There are still things we need to talk about, but I feel as if we have re-established our connection.
We celebrated our reunion in appropriate and exuberant fashion, and then drifted off to sleep.
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