A post in which it is dinner out with the boys

It was Michael's birthday today.  I started the morning by sending him a picture of some half-nekkid firemen.  I completely forgot his birthday last year.  It's strange and sad how you can be so close to someone, and then they become kind of a footnote in your personal history.  The relationship with Michael was the most significant one of my adult life (with a partner anyway) and now I barely hear from him.

Things largely returned to normal today.  My worries about hearing from Dad and Eve dropped off as I went longer into the day without hearing from them.  I guess it will end up like the last time I built up to a big email.  I got all worked up, said what I felt like I had to say, and they won't respond.  Easier on me, but it's sad that what they'll take from this is the most negative interpretation.  I guess they can't change who they are any more than I can.

When I got home, I had a graduation invitation from a second cousin.  I have lost track of the years.  I figured she was graduating from high school, but it's college.  Usually I find these invitations mildly annoying.  They're pretty transparent gift/money requests.  I have never received any card or mail from Kay ever.  But today I found myself going unexpectedly maudlin.  A 'sunrise/sunset' kinda thing.  Where had the time gone?  I put together a letter in my head to send her about the start of her new wonderful life, and indulged in a bit of a 'Yoda' fantasy, something I feel entitled to from time to time as a cancer survivor.  The logical part of my mind knows that just surviving chemotherapy doesn't impart me with any special wisdom, but the egotistical side of me insists that I have a gift of perspective that should be shared.  LOL  what a pompous windbag.  In the end I just put the invitation on the kitchen table, where it will join the circle of life of mail in my house.  I put it aside to respond to 'later', never get around to responding, then the time to respond passes, and it ends up in the recycling bin during a future clearing-out. 

It was the Thursday night dinner tonight.  I really shouldn't have gone.  I'm in the hole financially, and I'm about to spend a whole lot more money at the beach, plus the taxes on the car are due.  But I wanted to go, and I wanted to eat some sushi, so I went.

Dinner tonight was at Irashiai.  I love the food there.  Logan and I tried some new rolls tonight.  My new one ended up better than his, but I probably wouldn't order it again.  Joel and Lee were there.  The conversation turned to Aaron and his boyfriend Chris, and their over-the-top dramatic relationship, the ups and downs of which you can chronicle on Facebook from week to week.  Last week Aaron was in the depths of despair and this week he is again madly in love with the most wonderful man in the world.  And he'll tell you all about it.  It has gotten to the point that some of the people we know have de-friended them to not have to see all the schmaltz any more.

What I didn't say (but thought) was that Lee is almost as bad as Aaron.  He adores Joel, and they frequently post back-and-forth from 'happy chirpy bird land'.  At least they aren't constantly breaking up.  Maybe it's just me.  Perhaps I am so bitter from my own personal life that I find it cloying.  I am happy for them, I just wish I didn't have to read about it so much.  Oy.  There's just no pleasing me is there? 

Anyway, dinner went pretty well.  I was not in a good mood when I left for dinner.  I didn't feel good.  Allergies I guess.  But as the meal went on (and when we finally got some food - I was starving) I felt better.  I was glad I went.  Brian was there, and I was glad he wasn't mad at me.  I hadn't seen or heard from him since he took me to task over a blog post a week or so ago. 

I'm ready to go to the beach.  Maybe I just need a change.  Maybe I need a whoopin'.  I need something. 

I got in touch with Miss Kat and Dana today about going to see them tomorrow night.  Maybe that will get outta this weird funk.  Then again, I just don't know that if I'm even fit to be around people.