A post in which I take care of some things

I started the morning early, with no coffee and no breakfast - yeah, pretty much my least favorite way to start the day.  To make matters worse, I had been up for two hours last night with insomnia.  With no coffee to wake me up, it was a rough start.

It always makes me feel better to see my nurse Debbie though, and the doctor reassured me about the place on my back.  She doesn't think it needs to be sent for a biopsy.  It's pretty much a straight-forward cyst.  As paranoid as she is, if she isn't worried, I am certainly not.  I made the appointment to come in next week to get it removed.

After I left the doctor's office, I went for  an enormous breakfast at the Epicurean.  They have excellent omelets, although I ate too much.  It's like my little payback for having to start the day fasting.  I ate much more than I normally would for breakfast.  So it's a stupid way to get revenge on the doctor's office (the one paying the price is me), but in some small petty way it makes me feel better to treat myself after a craptastic start to the day.

I bit the bullet today and did what I needed to do about Dad and Eve, kinda.  I sent a text and told them I would not be there for dinner tomorrow.  I also told them that the surgery on my shoulder was set for next Tuesday the 16th, so I would see them until the 23rd.  Now that is not the same as being honest with them.  I thought long and hard about sending an email explaining that I just couldn't deal with the negativity every week, etc, but I've talked to them about this before.  It wouldn't have gotten through to them.  It would just have caused a fight.  So I'm just going to acclimatize them to my being around less without really going into it.  I guess that's the wuss way to do it.  But from experience, I just know that while honesty might be the best policy, it's ineffective here. 

In a way, I'm disappointed with myself.  I want to be a good son.  I want to do the right thing even if it is hard.  I guess Dana is a better man than I am (but I pretty much knew that before I started).  I could hide behind my health as a justification if I wanted to, but I can't stand it when people do that.  I did bleed all day last Wednesday.  I know that stress isn't good for me.  I also know that I'm not as strong as I was.  But I could survive it.  The bottom line is that I just plain don't want to.  Life is too short to white-knuckle through it.  So I'm choosing to deal with less of their toxicity.  If that makes me a weak person, well then I have to own that.

I had my mushroom bourguignon for lunch today, and it was better than I first thought.  Like a lot of things with garlic in it, it was better for having sat overnight.  So maybe I unfairly maligned it.  It did have some actual bourguignon flavor going on, underneath.  There's a flavor that you get from red wine simmered with tomato paste that is unique to the dish.  It could have used more sauce, but overall it wasn't bad. 

After work I went by the library and finally, finally returned Untouchable: The Strange Life and Tragic Death of Michael Jackson.  The afterword was going into the trial of his doctor, after his death, etc.  I guess the main remarkable thing about it was the ridiculous fan reaction.  I went into the book absolutely convinced that MJ was a child molester.  I still pretty much am.  But the author of Untouchable did more to cast doubt on the charges than anything I have read, and even cast aspersions on the series that Vanity Fair did on him, which were some of the most incriminating and salacious from any reliable news source.  So I just don't understand the extreme reaction.  None of them could have read the book.  People are weird.  I guess people now need something to believe in so much that they'll deify stars to fill the void that faith leaves in their lives.  That's the only thing that makes sense to me. 

I paid my fines, did my mea culpa, and checked out some videos, a book on CD, and a new book.  I love the library, and we actually have an excellent library system in Greenville for which I am very grateful. 

I thought about going by the store, but didn't since I had balanced my checkbook this morning.  I had leftover guacamole from yesterday, and some old tortillas that needed to be used.  So I brushed them with oil and stuck them in the oven for some quick tortilla chips - that also saved me buying a whole bag of chips, which I certainly do not need.  I finished it off with some of the pasta salad I bought Friday and the last of the Easter candy.  Not a bad-tasting supper. 

I wasn't particularly looking forward to the new RuPaul's Drag Race tonight.  It was the 'man-makeover' episode, which is usually kind of a dud.  But tonight's was pretty good, and I found myself enjoying it.  The men they brought in were gay veterans who had served before 'don't ask, don't tell' was repealed.  It was surprisingly poignant.  Most interesting to me was the Jinkx Monsoon got stuck with

 the oldest, least attractive, and least mobile of the guys on offer; but you could tell that she really liked him and empathized with him.  He was a nice guy (unlike some of the blow-hards from past seasons), and she made it work.  I think she may have done better with a 'misfit' than she would have with one of the more desirable guys.  That's the appeal of Jinkx.  You can tell that whatever her successes, she's a real peson under it all.  She's even more of an underdog than Sharon Needles was, but a lot of people are rooting for her.  It's an odd phenomenon in a community (and indeed an overall society) which is so focused on physical perfection and beauty.  So can he win it all?  I don't know. But it makes me feel good to think he can.  It also pleases me that while the other girls strut and bray, he quietly goes out on that stage and does well, week after week - while not giving up himself to do it.