A post in which I am completely full of shit

Or a drama queen. 

Or both.

So, having stewed in my own juices overnight, I woke up this morning still fretting about my boys (well, they used to be my boys anyway).  But I feel that I have gained some perspective.  And I go back to the wisdom of Dana: 

It is what it is.

You can't force someone to love you.  You can't force someone to spend time with you.  You can't force people to be your friend.  Relationships come and go in this world.  People move in and out of your life.  It's sad, but it happens, and all the anger and upset doesn't change it.  Sometimes, that's just the way it goes.  The boys have moved on without me.  They have other interests I don't share, and and old technophobe fuddy-duddy stick in the mud like me is just of limited use.  They've moved on.  That's just the way it is.  As sad as I may be to watch the caravan move on without me, well I'm not going to run after it crying.  I'm going to move on with my life and find a way to be happy with the way things are.  I'm going to be grateful and happy with my new place, and when I can see them, I will. 

If this beach trip is the end of what has been a lovely friendship, then so be it.  It will be a good trip.  I want to go out on a high note and a good memory, not as a bitter, peevish whiner. 

I have probably leaned too hard on Russ and Billy in the past.  They have been such a big part of my life, and I have just gotten used to having them to depend on for company.  Maybe that was unfair.  Maybe I've asked too much.  Or maybe it's just time. 

Thus resolved, I felt better about it.  Not thrilled, but better.  I could lay it down and get off the hamster wheel.

***

Then I got into work and got an email from them, inviting me to join them for their anniversary dinner while we're at the beach.  I was so incredibly touched.  I sat at my desk with tears in my eyes.  It was so very, very sweet of them. 

I'm so easy. 

And I feel a little silly.  Maybe I should feel a lot silly. 

Time will tell.