A post in which work hell goes into overdrive

It started off as a fairly normal day, although I was dreading the meeting this afternoon on the additional dildonic manual-writing crap this afternoon.  But I figured the meeting wouldn't last too long.  I did the rest of my work, and lived in denial for a couple of hours.

I went into the meeting unhappy, but at least glad that it would be over soon.  Well it was, but the level of dildonicness reached near-fatal levels before we were done.  This started ten months ago when we were assigned the task of writing an ISO document describing every single function in our jobs.  Every.  Single.  One.   We were instructed to write the ISO document to be 'not too detailed', but at the same time write it so that a new employee could open the document and do the job described.  Of course that is fundamentally impossible.  I settled in to wait.  I knew that before this was over, the job would have to be re-defined. 

Last month, the unhappiness and incredulity reached a crescendo.  Management's brilliant solution was to triple the work. In addition to the ISO documents (which are basically worthless) we were to write a separate, detailed, instruction manual section for each task.  The ISO would remain a useless overview, and the 'manual' section would actually enable a new worker to perform the task described.  We were told that we would be given a format to follow, and to just work on the ISO portion for now.

Today's meeting was supposed to be to roll out the format for the manual.  I wondered why in the world they would schedule a meeting for this, when they could have just emailed the template.  After a ten-slide PowerPoint presentation was read to us, they slipped in the new level of bullshit.  In addition to doing the ISO documents, and writing a manual, we were now expected to do a detailed ROI (return on investment) analysis for each and every thing we do every day. 

Now I have worked for my company for twelve years now.  In that time I have seen bullshit come out of upper management that I could scarcely believe.  I have seen bullshit that made my eyes goggle and my stomach turn over.  But I have seen nothing that approaches this spectacular level of ridiculous, useless, dildonic bullshit busy work.  The idea is that since we are all trained monkeys or something, that we should be able to break our entire jobs into step-by-step increments so that any untrained person can walk in off the street and seamlessly replace us.  Of course that is impossible.  But they want to feel that they have the power to replace us at any given time, like discarded cogs in an enormous wheel. 

When we got out of the meeting (which I barely got through) I was able to hold my silence about halfway back to my desk.  When a co-worked made a casual comment to me, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back.  My disdain, disgust, and frustration came roaring out.  Then I shut up and went back to my desk to pout.  I know I have to do this, but I sure wasn't doing it today.  I worked on anther stupid project the rest of the afternoon.  At least this one was vaguely useful (although ridiculously nit-picky), and on one which I could make some progress, unlike the gargantuan turd which had been laid on my desk today.

I had some rough customer calls too.  It was just a hard day today.

Needless to say, when 5:30 came, I was WAY ready to go.

I went for dinner with Dad and Eve tonight.  Dad wasn't feeling well (and I really hadn't been feeling in tip-top shape today either), so dinner was somewhat subdued.  But we had an excellent meal of Parmesan-crusted flounder, asparagus, hollandaise, salad, and baked potatoes.  After dinner, we all felt better, and the conversation flowed more freely.

We discussed Grandma Shumate's up-coming 91st birthday party.  I have been tapped to make her green beans, since I'm one of the few in the family who has taken the time to learn the whole recipe, and I can make a reasonable facsimile.  The time of year will make it hard to get fresh green beans, but I should be able to find some.  Even if I have to resort to frozen, they'll be much better than the canned ones they serve her at the home.  I sampled her practice lemon meringue pie.  It is a recipe from one of my grandmother's friends (now deceased) and she asked for that pie for her birthday.  I tasted it and made some suggestions on how it might be closer to the original.  I also emailed my aunt for the original recipe for Chicken Delight - another dish she requested.  I had it at one point, but I've altered it to the point that it wouldn't taste the same, and she wants hers. 

The evening complete, and my spirits somewhat restored, I went home and turned in with my fluffy blanket to prepare for another day.

I am SO freakin' ready for the beach!!!