A post in which I am living in denial, and packing

I went in prepared to put my nose to the grindstone today, but ended up just working on the little project most of the day.  I'm going to have to work on the big one at some point, but the dread just consumes me when I think about it.  I understand that this isn't a good thing.  But I've decided to not worry about it until after vacation.

My plan for tonight was to get all my packing done so that I could leave for the beach tomorrow after work.  It really doesn't matter what time I get there, and if I'm not breaking the trip at Mom's there's no point in taking my time getting there.  Plus when we did that in May it was like getting another day at the beach.  It's not like I'm going to sleep Thursday night if I stay home anyway. 

But leaving Thursday night meant piling up stuff tonight.  I had to get the house ready for David too.

After work, I headed immediately out, debating with myself about whether or not to break down and actually buy that freakin' Katy Perry CD.  I haven't seen the boys, that *^*#@%$!! dropbox thing ain't a-workin', and I can't get iTunes to install on my laptop (I'm tellin' you, if they keep simplifying entertainment, I'm gonna be training squirrels).  Eventually I just decided to suck it up and pay the $12 to have the music for the drive down tomorrow night. 

Naive me.  I thought that was actually an option.  My first thought was to go to Best Buy.  I knew that they have really decreased their music section, but I figured since the CD was so hot (they're playing songs from it like every ten minutes on the radio, unless I'm listening) that they would have it.  Wrong.  I encountered the mouth-breathing Best Buy guy, who clearly thought I was a total moron for buying a CD at all, had no idea if they even had the CD at all, and wasn't terrifically interested in helping me find it.  (Not to mention that I felt like an uber-goober for asking about a CD mostly coveted by twelve-year-old girls, but that's my issue.)  He did eventually bestir himself to look around a little, but either they didn't have it in stock, or neither of us could find it.  They did have 8,000 copies of the Katy Perry movie prominently displayed at the front of the store, but that was of little help.

I decided to go on to Barnes and Noble, because at least the staff there is used to dealing with old people, and usually aren't (overtly) condescending.  When I entered the store, I found that they had completely removed the music and movie section of the store.  Gone.  Upon asking (for music, I wasn't about to go into the specifics on what I was looking for again), I was told that there were a few of the 'hot list' CDs at the front near the cash registers.  I wasn't about to tell them what I was looking for, but apparently an album that made platinum twice wasn't cool enough to be in stock.  Disgusted, I left to go home and start training squirrels, and wondered where the hell stupid people are getting music these days.  It's tough being a cultural dinosaur.

I ran by the library to get some CD books for the drive, and got home about 7:30.  I decided it was too late to cook my white sweet potato, so I threw it in the fridge.  I warmed up the care package Eve sent home with me last night, and threw the asparagus I bought this week onto the stove.  I couldn't eat it all tonight, but it will freeze better cooked than frozen (I suppose).  I threw a load of laundry in the washer and sat down to eat.

After supper, I started getting clothes ready to go.  While I was working on that, I turned on telly and happened across a Tyler Perry movie (I seem to be obsessed with Perrys this month).  This one was called The Family That Preys.  Ordinarily I'm not a huge Tyler Perry fan.  I find his plot lines messy, his messages manipulative, and his characters one-dimensional.  But the guy makes millions, and a lot of people apparently like them.  Dana thinks he is endlessly hilarious, and I hold her in great esteem. Plus just about the time I was about to change the channel, Kathy Bate's face appeared.  I figured if the script was good enough to get her interest, there was something going on.  I decided to watch.  Both she and Alfre Woodard were as good as they could have been in their respective roles, given what they had to work with.  Kathy's character definitely had more than one facet, but there was no unification.  She seemed to be different people in different scenes (I suspect that editing had something to do with that).  But I found it compelling, and finished watching it after I knocked off packing for the night.

The combination of the undeniably maudlin cast of the movie (someone always seems to be dying in a Perry movie), worry about work, the residue from my anger this week, and the amount of time I spent alone last weekend, plus not feeling tip-toppedy (there is a bug going around the office that I've been trying to take) had me down tonight, despite getting ready for a trip that I am really looking forward to with pleasure.  I miss Jason.  I want someone there with me.  I felt lonely.  I tried calling Jason, but as usual he didn't answer his phone.  I finally decided that I was having an undeserved pity party, put my clothes in the dryer, and got ready for bed. 

It's going to be a great day tomorrow!  Just one more day of work to get through, and I'll be headed for the beach!!  It will be so great to spend some time with Mama.  This trip is even more poignant because a) we didn't get to go last year because of treatment; and b) I didn't know that I would live to go on this one.  I have SO much to be grateful for.  I said a silent thanks to God as I snuggled up under the covers, and felt better.