I woke up this morning determined to MAKE it a great day. I'm still on vacation. There is still tons I can do. There are still things to look forward to, and I was going to look forward to them.
***
There's more going on than just the Kimbley & Laura thing, although that's part of a greater problem/trend. I kind of feel like people don't have time for me any more. Russ and Billy stay so insanely busy now that it's really hard to claim face time with them anymore. When I do get to see them, it's usually at some kind of bean feast with seventeen or so other people. That's been ongoing, and I'm trying to adjust to that. Then K&L cancelled on me - for the second time. Even Rhonda, who has no car, is on the go and busy a lot of the time.
Part of this is Jason, I know. I still have not heard peep one from him after I had to leave him a voice mail to break up with him. Not a call, email, text - nothing. That makes you feel really insignificant.
Another thing that's been going on (lately) is that Russ was trying to set me up with a guy named Joe. There are issues there, because Joe's lover just died a month ago of a heart attack. But we'd been talking online, and he was really keen to meet up and reconnect (I know him from before his lover). On the one hand, I didn't want to be the rebound guy, and I know it's too early for him to start dating (whether he knows it or not). On the other hand, he needed someone, and that calls to me. Plus he was really bringing the pressure to bear, and it was pressure that I really didn't want to resist. (Will-power is not my strong suit, which will not be a surprise to you, gentle reader.) So I told him I would meet him, but because he is hungry, I had the talk with him. At that point, he ran screaming for the hills. I went from being his dream guy realized to persona non grata. Within the space of about three minutes. He had to go take a call (we were chatting online) and he would 'brb'. Well he didn't cb.
Spending this time off has been nice - I needed the break - but it has kind of underscored the problem. Either I'm lonely, which is bad; or I'm worried (sometimes) that I'm way too comfortable by myself. Sigh. I have so many blessings. I really do. And I try to count them and be grateful. I have so many things for which to be grateful. But at the end of the day, I come home alone. Sex is great. I love it, and I've gotten much better at reaching out to people who make me feel fulfilled rather than 'less than'. But it's kind of like trying to fill up on cotton candy when you're hungry for food.
But enough whining. Really.
***
I gave myself a mental shake by the scruff of the neck, got up and called Rhonda. She was free, so I headed off to get her to go to Barnyard. The first order of the day, though, was breakfast. Usually Rhonda is never hungry. But I was this morning, and she needed to eat something to take a pill or somethingand I was hungry, so we were looking for a place to eat. I had thought about going to Denny's to try one of their special Hobbit meals, but the Denny's in Greer is above the flea market. There is also a restaurant near Barnyard I had wanted to try for a while. It's called the Landmark Diner. I pass the place all the time, but had never been in, although I was intrigued by the banner about the 'Best of the Upstate' award they won. I'm not sure what they won the 'best of' about, but it appeared to be a fairly standard meat & three. The breakfast, while quite adequate, was certainly nothing outstanding or anything I would be super-stoked about eating again.
As we sat down though, a table came in, and the guy walked over to me. I realized it was my old friend Travis. Travis and I were friends with benefits for years. He's a really sweet, really hot guy, although he isn't really much of an intellectual. We fell out of touch the last time because I saw him at the flea market, and called him to be sure that my cell number was in his phone, but after a couple of calls I didn't hear from him. He explained the next time we ran into each other that my number had "gone out of his phone". I don't think he knew how to program the number in. But it was really great to see him, he looks wonderful, and he seemed glad to see me. We exchanged numbers again, and he said he would call me.
Our mission today was to find a cute change purse for Rhonda, and that was reason enough to go, since we were really more interested in the time together and the walk than actually buying anything. Good thing - there wasn't really anything I couldn't live without, although we did find her change purse.
I dropped Rhonda off at home, and on the way back to my house called Travis. He is staying with his parents right now (long story) but we talked and agreed to meet at his place. Now there are four main drawbacks to Travis:
1) He lives in Traveler's Rest.
2) The aforementioned telephone issues.
3) He wears ghastly cologne - and a generous amount of it.
4) He has horrible feet. He works as a sculptor, and many times is barefooted in the studio. Apparently this does terrible things to his feet.
I can work around all of these because he our time together is fantastic. We make the earth move. We are very into each other. So I'm thinking "Well there are worse things. I can overlook the feet. It could be a refreshing change to be with a guy who is less complicated." He pretty much killed that by explaining that he had been looking for me as someone to 'relieve the pressure' while he was single. In other words, he's on for a good time, but he's not thinking about dating me. Which is probably just as well, I guess. I don't really think it could work, which is why we haven't dated before.
We did spend some delightful hours in his beautiful home getting re-acquainted however. His company was just as delightful as I remembered; and if his feet were actually worse, well, I didn't really need beautiful feet did I? His house is older, and gorgeous. He has an artist's eye. Everything is just enough, but not too much. Each piece is beautiful and belongs exactly where it is, while having the casual elegance of just looking as if it landed there. That is so hard to do.
This evening I had planned to see Miss Kat and Dana for Christmas with them. I had tried to get in touch earlier, but missed them. Then Dana called me back while I was at Travis's house. When I got back in touch with them they were on their way to Gaffney shopping. They had been trying to invite me to go with them. Well crapitall. I would have loved to have gone. But then I started thinking about it. There wasn't anything I really needed from there. I would have enjoyed going more to spend time with them than to shop anyway, and Dana had said they would get in touch about the evening on their way back, so things might still work out. I went home, did some laundry, and had a spot of lunch and a nap.
Just about the time I was wondering if I would hear from them, I got the call with the all clear and was invited. Yay!
We had a lovely visit, and I enjoyed the time with them. They gave me a t-shirt that I loved, but that was unfortunately again one size too small. I guess I should take it as a compliment that I don't look as big as I am. They told me where it came from, so I'll exchange it. I also got a movie card to go to the movies. I guess I'll have to use it to go see The Miserables. I had Miss Kat's present delivered, and she got it. I had also gotten Dana a Floral platter. I thought she would appreciate it, and she seemed to. It was a nice evening, and really good to see them.
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