A post in which I am a little discouraged

I kind of felt drug out today, and I was disappointed about the way the weekend went.  I wonder if I even have it in me to love someone.  Maybe I'm too selfish.  Maybe I'm too old and set in my ways.  Maybe I'm just too contrary, or never had the capacity to start with.  Dunno.  I'm not happy with the way the weekend with Jason ended.  I sent him an email, but didn't hear back.

It didn't help that as the day progressed I started having vague nausea and my mouth started tasting bad again.  I get like a 'chemo' taste in my mouth in the evenings now, and I'm not sure why.  The nausea hasn't been enough to put me off my feed (as can be evidenced by my constantly expanding waistline), but it just makes me go kinda bleah when I think about food.

I was glad I didn't have any left-overs that really had to be eaten tonight.  I have a little bit of winter squash left over, but it's just a bit, and if I had to throw it out, I wouldn't really feel badly about it.  That freed me up to pick up a nummy for dinner that I would feel like eating.  I had to go by the grocery store anyway. 

I got some pot stickers.  I LOVE them, but there is no place in town that makes vegetable dumplings, so if I want them I have to make them myself.  It isn't hard, you can buy them frozen (after making them from scratch one time, I said never again), I just usually eat home made stuff if I eat at home. 

When I got to the house, I found I had a bag of them already in the freezer that needed to be eaten (I'm not sure how long they had been in there), so I put the new ones in the freezer and threw the old ones in the pan.  I made a salad, and by the time I was through eating that they were done. 

Dad called to let me know that he is apparently back in atrial fibrillation, and goes back for another cardioversion tomorrow.  They're putting him on another medication to try to keep his heart in rhythm, but I can't help but wonder how many times they can do this?

I didn't really feel like doing anything tonight, so I didn't.  I cleaned up the kitchen, watched re-runs and played solitaire on the computer (I don't know why it is less sad to do it on computer than with actual cards, but for some reason it is).  I turned in early because I have a doctor's appointment in the morning at 8am.