A post in which it is husbands on the hoof - well, kinda

Tonight was the ‘Takeover Upstate’ dinner for the month – the first I’ve ever attended. On the third Friday of each month, the Facebook group determines a local restaurant, contacts the restaurant manager, and then send out an email about which restaurant we’re to meet at this week to ‘take over’.

I have thought this is a clever idea. It’s hard to meet men if you’re beyond bar age. Online meetings seem to be more labyrinthine every day. Between the closet cases who refuse to post face pictures, through to the guys who want every measurement on your body before they’ll talk to you (I had one guy in Atlanta tell me that he wouldn’t speak with anyone until he had a shirtless picture from the waist up), it is just difficult. Of course the area doesn’t help. I also figured this was pretty much for skinny people (a good portion of the gay populace, wherever you are), but until I had tried it, I decided that I couldn’t complain. I also had Russ and Billy to go with, and since Russ knows half the eastern seaboard it wasn’t like I would lack for someone to talk to.

I headed for their house after work. I had packed a bag of clothes to change into, which led to the first dilemma I face. If I dress up, I feel like I set an unrealistic standard, because I never dress up. I don’t want to try to be someone I’m not to attract someone with expectations I’m going to disappoint. On the other hand I didn’t want to show up looking like a slob either. In the end, I picked out a decent pair of shorts and a t-shirt and let that do it.

The restaurant was The Cazbah in Greer. I must confess that when I heard we were going to Greer I had limited expectations. I was quite pleasantly surprised, however, to find a very nice little restaurant in a quite hip little section of downtown Greer – I had no idea. We quickly met up with a couple of guys that we knew from the bear group and headed upstairs. The crowning glory of the place was a fabulous rooftop bar, built like a deck, but complete with lights and tables open to the sky. The weather was perfect and the outdoor area was just beautiful.

We had met a guy down at the bar name Ronnie. Now I knew he was too young, pretty, and skinny for me; but he was nice, and engaging, and we were soon chatting away with him. He followed us up to the rooftop to continue the conversation. I was slightly encouraged, until his lover arrived and he introduced me. But they were a very nice couple, and we enjoyed chatting with them.

This seemed to set the tone for the evening. Counter to my hope for husbands on the hoof, this appeared to be a gathering of couples on parade. They arrived two by two. I counted seven single men during the course of the evening. One was me. Two were guys I knew from the bear group. One was Doug, my ex’s old bowling partner. A very nice guy, but he has never been the slightest bit interested in me. Of the other three, two were young'uns, and the third one seemed to lose all interest after he found that I have never been to Southern Decadence. I talked to each of them, but none demonstrated any interest in continuing the conversation, although they were nice about it.

As I had feared, I was under-dressed. The Fag Blouses were on prominent display. Oh well, I'll know next time.

I sat and talked to Doug (and a very nice lesbian friend he had brought with him) for a while, catching up. She was charming, and he is a sweetheart, but eventually I decided I had monopolized enough of their time. I joined Russ and Billy at the table they had (finally, the place was a madhouse) procured and a waitress brought me some quite tasty nibbles. One of the reasons I never go to The Cazbah downtown is that the food is pretty horrendously overpriced. But I was here for a good time, and since all the single guys had been eliminated, I thought screw it, I’m gonna eat. I did.

Eventually, Russ and Billy decided we would head out for some ‘real food’, and we rounded up the new couple we had met (Ronnie and Chris), along with John and Brian from bear group, and headed over to Copper River Grill. Russ invited several other people who just didn’t make it over – it was that kind of evening. Yours truly was riding 5th wheel (or 7th, in this instance) as per usual.

I had eaten some already, and didn’t really need a full meal, but the nachos I ordered, though absolutely delicious, were far more food than I needed. They were so good I just couldn’t stop eating them though. I had plenty of time to eat too. We were at a big round table, and Russ was finding out all about Ronnie and Chris. I ate until I was just miserable.

By the time we left the restaurant, we were all too full to feel like doing much of anything else. The group split up, and I went back to Russ and Billy’s place with them. It was good just to spend some time with them. We’ve all been gone a lot lately, and I just haven’t seen them. I’ve missed them both – I love them so much. Russ and I went out on the smoking porch for just a little while, but he had to work tomorrow, and since I felt like a bloated whale anyway I headed on home shortly.

So it was a nice evening, even if it didn’t meet quite all of my hopes. You gotta get back out there some time. I loathe going to things like the takeover, but I’m really lucky to have friends that will help me out.