A post in which it is a very long Sunday

Since I turned in earlier last night, I was up earlier, but was actually able to go back to sleep for a bit. That just never happens. I usually sleep better at Granny's for some reason though.

We all got up and had breakfast. Mom cooked, which she didn't really feel like doing, but Granny is just wasting away (despite having help to fix them dinner every night), and they both like a big breakfast. I told Mom I would help, but then she just went in there and started doing stuff while I thought she was making coffee. I cleaned up the kitchen as much as I could in atonement, but Poppy likes to do that. He has always been able to do whatever he wanted up until his eyes went, so anything he can do now he wants to do. I duelled him in the kitchen for a while, but he finally ran me out.

I had gotten all ready to go earlier while Granny was sleeping in - if you come downstairs it wakes her up (she is a notoriously light sleeper). By the time we got through with breakfast it was 11:30. I needed to go see Grandma Shumate, but I figured they were serving lunch at the home about that time. They usually feed them early. I chatted for a bit, and got over to the home around 12:30 - just in time to find Grandma in the lunch room.

It was worth it just to walk in. Her little face lit up like a child at Christmas. It's so hard to see her now, because I know she's living her nightmare. She never wanted to live long enough to go into the home. And she just has to be there. She can't walk at all. Her hands are so twisted with arthritis at this point that they are almost un-usable. Her right side is almost completely useless after her stroke. But she's in a nice place, and she's being well cared-for. The residents are all addressed by name, not by "sweety" and stuff like that. She has her hair done once a week at the little salon there, and generally looked well-kept. Grandma has a roommate, which I know is hard on her. She has always been a sociable person, active in church and things, but like me the other side of that coin is that she re-charges during her private time. She has no privacy now.

I watched her eat, and kind of reflected on the way our roles had changed. I hoped that I wouldn't distract her from eating a good lunch, and watched as she ate chicken fingers and ketchup. Also, I found myself in one of those gooberific moments that just seem to happen to me. Another resident from the home pulled up on her Scamp on my other side, and she and my grandmother had a conversation of sorts about me. "This is my grandson," Grandma said. "Isn't he handsome?" "What?" the other woman replied, apparently hard of hearing as well. "THIS IS MY GRANDSON." Grandma said "ISN'T HE HANDSOME??" "WHAT?" the other woman said again. Ordinarily I would translate and yell, but it felt weird to be sitting there going "AREN'T I HANDSOME?" at the top of my lungs. So I just sat there as this went back and forth several times. It and got really embarrassing, since all the aides were in the lunch room serving other residents. Fortunately, the other woman eventually lost interest in what Grandma had been saying, and started showing me her jewelery. I don't think Grandma liked the distraction - the other woman was telling me about Grandma winning the title (see below), and kind of stealing her thunder, plus, Grandma kind of wanted me to herself. She eventually told the other woman she thought she had talked to me enough, finished her lunch, and had me wheel her back to her room.

She seems to be adjusting. She has friends there, and was made the Valentine's Queen of the home this month. She won a crown and a sash and all. I was surprised that she mentioned it, and had her picture made and such. Grandma has never been one to put herself forward, or want to stand out. But she told me that she got 90% of the votes for queen, and said "It meant a lot to me that they thought so much of me." That's more like the Grandma I know.

We visited, and talked about family, and how people were doing. We talked about Loney's funeral. Grandma has a really hard time hearing, so I just pulled her wheel chair over to me and talked into her ear. She just looked so frail and fragile that it broke my heart. I brought in my pictures, and she told me the poses were all so good that she couldn't make up her mind. I left her all four. I fixed the bulletin board by her bed and put one up. I fixed the electronic picture frame my Dad got her for Christmas and got it showing the pictures again. It looked as if it has been knocked off in the floor a few times, and of course she can't get it to work. She was suffering from a bad cold, and started coughing from talking so much. It was easier for me to listen since she can't hear that well.

Eventually, I had shared all I could, and done the few things for her that I could. He little face just fell when I told her I had to go, but she didn't cry or give me a guilt trip (she has done that some in the past). Today, she talked as if she won't see me again. That was the hardest, because of course she may not. She told me that I had always been her favorite, which of course I pretty much knew, but was surprised to hear her say it. She told me that I could never understand how much she loves me - "as much as the whole world". She told me she had done a lot of thinking lately about the summer I spent with her when I was younger. She looked at me, and smiled, and said "We were just children together, weren't we?" That was when I almost started crying. When I was there, she was in her early 50's. It must seem to her now like she was a child then. And of course I played with her just like another child. I'm really glad I had that special time with her now. I gave her a hug and I kiss, told her how much I love her, and left.

By the time I got back to the house, it was time to leave. Mom and I headed out and stopped for lunch in Statesville, where K&W was open today. We got lunch and had a good long talk. Mom asked me for some advice about her relationship with Rod. Although I told her she may want to consult someone with a better track record, I did talk to her about the situation. Rod is much more attentive than Mom is used to men being, but part of that is that Rod has only been a widower for two years and was married for 38. He's leaning on her a bit.

By the time I got close to Greenville, I was getting calls from Anna and from Marty. I had told Anna that I would be her fall-back ride to the Academy Awards Party tonight at Rick and James's house, and they were tying to find out my ETA. I got home, threw stuff out of bags, sprang through the shower, and headed off to pick Anna up.

Marty was glad to see her, and it was good to see everyone there. Kimbley and Laura, Donnie and Mark, Rick and James, JB, Amy, Matt; all the fun folks were in attendance. We got there just as the annual movie Jeopardy tournament was ending. I didn't join in the Oscar pool as I usually do because I never win stuff like that.

It was a nice party, and I had a good time, but Anna got kind of tore down. She gets nervous about party/group situations, and kind of over-does it to make up for that. I ended up kind of having to see to her. But I got her to the car and she was better after that. We stopped because she told me she wasn't ready to go home yet, and just had a smoke and talked. It was nice. Anna is able to relax around me and be herself, which is good. I took her on home and went gratefully to my own bed.

It's good to be home.