A post in which Aunt Ruby is laid to rest

The funeral was this morning at 11am. Since I had knocked myself out with sleeping pills last night, I slept until about 9. When I got up, Mom was having some coffee and we were waiting on my Aunt Donna to get there. Aunt Donna is kind of like my sister Lisa. She is late everywhere. Surprisingly though, she showed up at 9:30 on the dot - just when Mom told her to be there. She came in with a whole other outfit, just in case Mom or Granny thought she should change. She and my mom hadn't seen that side of the family in years, and it was important that she look her best. She brought brownies, in case people dropped by afterwards, and Mother had brought a pound cake.

After we packed them off to the funeral, ran out to get some breakfast, then came back to the house to get cleaned up in case anyone came by.

Mom and Donna got back shortly after I was ready. They came in with all the news. We found out who had gotten fat, who had hellions for kids, etc. Donna doesn't eat breakfast, so she was ready for lunch. We went and got some sandwiches, and continued the post-mortem (of the funeral) over lunch and brownies.

After lunch, my grandmother's sister Kathleen and her husband Pete came by. She brought the rest of the news on the family, since she was more familiar with who was whom. By the time they left, it was time for Donna to go on home. She lives in Winston-Salem, and had just come up for the day.

Kathleen and Pete had been there for a while. I usually enjoy listening to Granny and Kathleen talk, because I pick up family stories I haven't heard before when they're talking. Today was no exception. The eulogies were discussed in great detail. Particularly two parts. One part was about Aunt Ruby making green beans in the pressure cooker. From what I can gather, that was not the success that it was painted at the funeral. Apparently Aunt Ruby had had a notable mishap with a pressure cooker at some point that was so monumental in family legend that they did not even tell the story. I had never heard it, but I have learned to be quiet and listen. They all thought it was sad that the family's recollections of Ruby seemed to be mainly about things she cooked for them.

The second great item of discussion in the Eulogy her son gave was about the sharing of the buttons. My grandmother grew up during the Great Depression, and there were eight children, so things were sometimes tight. Aunt Ruby had told her children about being so poor they had to share the buttons off of their dresses at times, or would switch out the buttons for a change of pace. The real story was a bit less rosy. One of Granny's sisters had a new dress that Mama Sabastian (my great-grandmother) had made for her. It was all completed, except for the buttons. She was going somewhere one night and wanted to wear the dress, but it couldn't be finished until they made a trip to town to buy the buttons. The sister asked Ruby if she could cut the buttons off of one of her dresses and put them on the new dress so she could wear it that night. She offered to sew the buttons back onto Aunt Ruby's dress afterwards, but Aunt Ruby refused. The sister appealed the decision to Mama Sabastian, who forced Ruby to let her sister use the buttons. Not quite as harmonious and heart-warming as the eulogy, but time does tend to dim things, particularly when they're things that don't reflect so well on yourself. And particularly if you're telling the story. It may well have been just a trick of memory.

Apparently Ruby's children rode by to look at her house (which is right next door to Granny and Poppy's house). They didn't come in. This suited Granny just fine. She was having a bad day pain-wise and didn't feel up to company, although she got cleaned up and dressed suitably just in case. But Mother and Donna seemed to think this was rude. I guess in a way it was, since they'll probably never seen Granny and Poppy again (Ruby's family lives in Florida, and burying Ruby here was the last tie to the mountains). But it seems pretty practical to me. They didn't feel like coming, Granny didn't feel like seeing them; no harm no foul. How many excruciations do we put up with for the sake of propriety? I'm all for one less, myself.

Well after all these ruminations and after Donna left, it was about supper time. After debate, we ordered out from the local seafood place. It was pretty good, but my fries were once again quite sub-par, continuing the bad run of fries I've had lately.

We watched the news to see what the weather was going to be like, and visited and talked.

By the time the weather was over, Mom and Poppy were both dozing in their chairs. We turned on in, to the disappointment of Granny. She can't get to sleep before Midnight, and will wake up if you move around in the morning. I'll have to be careful.