A visit with Dad

Well this sounds calculating, and I guess it is, but I went to see Dad last night. I did need to go, because I hadn't been over in a while, and because I wanted to thank them for bringing me food and Tylenol last week when I was sick. But the timing was decided because when Dad is feuding with one section of the family, he's usually exceedingly nice to the other parts of the family, so it was a pretty safe time to go. This theory was proven correct again last night, and we had a really pleasant visit. They caught me up on the latest goings on they had with BB and the home she lives in, and we talked about Lisa's amazing presence of mind after Carl's shop burned down. I really wish I could take things in stride as well as she can.

We ate dinner and talked about cruises, since my step-mom is trying to talk my dad into taking one. It was nice.

We even *gasp* talked about politics a bit, before I changed the subject. Usually politics is the great juju of topics around my dad, who would vote for a gilded wooden idol if it ran on the Republican ticket. I am more moderate, but do identify as a Democrat, which equals brainless to my dad - an opinion he is not in the least hesitant about sharing, or indeed blasting at me from across town. Usually on election years I give Dad a wide berth. One year, he tried to pick a fight with me when was over there, and I ended up leaving to prevent the fight from escalating. After I got home, he called me on the phone that night to continue the fight. It's pretty nuts. But he was, for my dad, borderline reasonable last night. He asked me questions about the Democratic candidates for president, which I have to say shocked me to the core. I think part of this is that even my dad, although he would rather die than admit it, has to realize what an absolute fuck-up George W Bush has been as a president. Part of it also is his unhappiness with the current Republican candidate. As a member of the extreme right-wing core, he doesn't like John McCain, who is too moderate for them. I wonder if he'll hold his nose and vote for McCain, or if he'll vote for one of the wing-nut Republicans he tends to like (Alan Keys, for example) in a write-in. I should have asked him.

As it was, after he made some scathing remark about what a joke Bill Clinton had been as president, I made the remark that whatever you felt about his personal life, he had been pretty good for the country. I was amazed that I had voiced anything like that. Usually that kind of remark is like a red flag to a bull to my dad. But owing to the complex environment of his outstanding feud with one sister, and the appalling record of the sitting president, he dropped it. I felt like I had just survived a bungee jump, and immediately found something else to talk about.

I stayed over there til about 9, at which point I went home to a screamingly unfed Jinx.

Tomorrow night is packing for Wilkesboro, so I have seen Dad and Mom, my mother and both my mom's and my dad's parents this weekend. Next week I'm planning to go see BB, and two weeks ago I saw Lisa, Cole, and Ava. So after the BB visit, I should be pretty well visited up for a while.

I went home and logged a bit of time on Bear411. I have reasoned that I'm never going to meet anyone if I don't start looking around more. Russ and Billy know lots of guys, but all the single ones that show up at their place they claim as toys if they are desirable, and most of them are coupled anyway. I may have to start going to a bar too, although I shudder at the thought. But I have to find some way to get myself out there more. Russ and Billy go to Charlotte and Atlanta regularly. Maybe I should go with them. I messaged a few guys in Asheville and Charlotte, to see if I would get a response. The problem is that most of the guys on Bear411 are partnered. Then you have the ones only looking for sex, and the ones who think a book is to level the legs on your coffee table. There just aren't a lot of guys like me.

So I'm not skinny enough for gay.com (still not a single response), I'm not vanilla enough for match.com, and my IQ requirement seems to be by and large too high for Bear411. Russ says he spends a good amount of time on another bear website, maybe I'll check that out. I just can't see stumbling across someone in a bar. It seems so random. Plus, when you get to be my age, generally the people you meet in bars are the people who are there every weekend. That's just not fun to me. I have thought that the best place for me to meet someone might be at River's Edge. If they are there, it connotates a certain amount of openmindedness automatically. But then there is that bar thing again. A lot of the single guys that are there seem to be regulars who are there every weekend to party and drink (or whatnot, of which there is a lot). And a lot of them are partnered. Plus, honestly, I'm not at my best naked these days. I'd prefer to have a guy who is attracted and engaging before he sees me naked at this stage of my life.