An eventful Tuesday!

Another long day today. Alan is still trying to settle in to the new job (it's only day 2 for him), so things are a bit up in the air at work, but I'm trying to be supportive and flexible. Unfortunately, that turned in to staying late tonight, waiting for him to approve some reports that he still hadn't gotten to. They were supposed to go out tonight, I think, but I'm going to end up having to send them tomorrow. I hate missing deadline with California. It is their only real contact with me, and I like to have my work in on time to them. But tomorrow morning isn't the end of the world.

Cindy's husband Paul, one of my two brothers-in-law (that I know of, Angela's marital status is prone to change without notice), called me today at work. Paul used to call me pretty regularly, to catch me up on their lives and stuff, but I haven't heard as much from him since Cindy and I had our falling out two years ago. I missed hearing from him, but of course I understood. Cindy is his wife. Of course he is loyal to her - that is as it should be.

Anyway, apparently my dad and step-mother have had another knock-down-drag-out fight with Cindy and him about two months ago. I, of course, hadn't heard anything about this. That relationship has been hard for a while, and I am afraid this could be it. It's really sad. My dad has really driven all of us kids away with his terrible temper. He has seemed softer since he converted to Catholicism (I know, that seems strange), and I was hoping that maybe he had really changed, but it seems that isn't the case. I see him every other month or so, but that's about as much as we can usually get along. The saddest part of it is that he doesn't understand why we stay away from him, he just thinks we're ungrateful children. He really sees himself as a victim, and doesn't realize how his terrible temper drives people away. I won't go into the details, but I'll just say that money was involved, and I'm really glad I have never had anything to do with my dad's gunshop or the funds thereof. Cindy is really hurt, and Brenden (my nephew) saw the fight and has been very upset by it. He's too little to understand about anger problems and the like. The weird part about it is that I found myself explaining rageaholics to my brother-in-law, who is a Psychiatrist. I had to explain to Paul, who sounded genuinely wounded, that Dad doesn't mean everything he says when he's in that kind of situation. He will say some pretty terrible things, and then later won't remember them (or will say he doesn't). When Dad gets mad, it's like he goes into a fugue state. It's scary. Paul told me he is done, and doesn't care if he ever sees my dad or step-mom again, and I can't really say that I blame him. Paul isn't blameless (nor am I, nor is anyone), but he has borne more than his share of stress from my family. I can truly undestand why he feels well rid of them.

After work it was grocery shopping. In the rain. Sigh. And Justin invited me up again tonight, and I turned him down again, which I felt bad about. The reasons I have to give for not going up always sound so lame to me, even though they're true. But the shopping hadn't been done because I'd been sick all weekend, and I needed stuff for breakfast, and I won't have time to do much more than a lick and a promise this weekend when I get back from Wilkesboro. So I once again did the responsible adult thing, which felt like the wrong thing, and made me feel like a bad friend. Dammit.

When I got home, Lisa called me back. I had called to check on her since the shop had burned down and all, but she was amazingly together about the whole thing. The shop was insured, as I thought, and apparently, she just sees re-establishing their business as a series of stepped-up errands they will have to do for a while. The two of them always seem to land on their feet economically. I don't know how they do it, but kidos to them. I'm responsible and have had the same job since 2000, but I have to count every dime. Lisa left her job at the bank, went to work for her husband, and hired a personal assistant to do errands and home chores she didn't like to do, yet they always seem to be fine economically, and have whatever they want. I don't see how they do it, but I envy them the ease with which they seem to live. Must be nice.

I filled Lisa in on all the latest family stuff, and we talked about she and dad for a while. Lisa has her scars too.

Then we ended up talking about our cruises, since the one she just got back from is her first, and my first was last summer. It was a good conversation. It's good talking to Lisa. I feel like we're kind of growing back together again. She pretty much told me off before she moved in with Carl (another long story), and it's nice to know she seems to want me back in her life.