A post in which I waste a perfectly good Saturday

I was up fairly early, and looked out the window first thing. Sure enough, there was a nasty ¾” coating of ice on pretty much everything. Freezing rain is a lot more dangerous than it sounds. You can drive on snow, but no one can drive on ice. Ice also tends to pull power lines down. I was glad that a) I didn’t have any unexpected company, and b) that I was prepared.

I had plenty to do today to keep busy and amused. There was the cook book I could work on. Several recipes that need to be transcribed are at the house. I had the new valances to sew. I’ve had the fabric for a couple of weeks now. I needed to cook lunches for next week, and I wanted to make Russ a batch of my baked beans (he loves them) since I wasn't able to take food in when his dad died (he was out of state).

I also had a switch for my bathroom light that needed to be replaced. The light switch for the light over the sink has a short, and so I had picked up a new one last night to replace it. It’s been bugging me for a couple of weeks. Thinking that it was low-hanging fruit, I decided to start there.

Before I got started though, I had to eat breakfast, take a nap, etc; the typical things I do on a lazy Saturday when I have plenty of time. I also had to re-meld with the BBC Saturday lineup of my favorite shows, which are a big reason why a lot of housework doesn't get done at my house when I have BBC America.

Eventually, I toddled off to the bathroom to fix the switch. After some experimentation with rubber gloves, I finally decided I would have to turn the circuit breaker off (it’s the prudent thing to do), and went out in the ice to do so. I took the old switch out, and wired in the new one. It didn’t work. I then made the first of about 8,000 trips in and out of the house to re-wire and try it again. I ended up sitting on the toilet, staring at the switch, trying to will some kind of knowledge from the wires or something. I mean, there are just only so many ways to hook it up. I finally tried the old switch again, and it worked. This meant that I had spent all this time trying to wire up a new switch that was bad. Yeah, I was pretty hot about that one.

At this point, it had become a mission to get this thing done. Against my better judgment and my carefully laid plans, I got dressed and went out into the ice to get another switch. My first stop was at the Kmart near my house, which carries exactly 6 items, and re-stocks the shelves promptly every 17 years whether they need it or not. Despite a bewildering array of switch plates, they had not a single dimmer switch. This was a not an altogether unexpected but bitter disappointment nonetheless. I don’t know why I bother to go in there. It’s kind of like singing the 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' before a baseball game; kind of a hopeful ritual. I should really just start singing the song as I drive by – it would do about as much good.

I now had to get out onto the real streets to get to the Home Depot. When I got there, I faced a bewildering array of fancy-schmancy switches. They had multiple slides, switch and slides, and on and on. They had everything except the plain dimmer switch I sought - which I patiently explained to the friendly and helpful Home Depot employee I eventually recruited to help me. He extolled upon the virtues of the many, varied, and complex light switches they had; and I explained to him that I really didn’t want to have a light switch I needed a degree from MIT to operate at 3am when I just wanted to pee without going blind. He ended up commiserating with me, but couldn’t help me with a simpler switch. It was the MIT dimmer or a regular ole toggle-and-fry-yer-eyeballs-out standard switch. Once again, technology zooms past the obvious. I didn’t feel like going all the way across town in the ice to get another simpler switch from the place where I had already purchased one dead one, so I grudgingly bought the MIT dimmer and headed home.

On the way home, it occurred to me that this new switch wouldn’t fit the switch plate I had already. I began to curse softly and consistently under my breath. Prior to this realization the cursing had been more intermittent.

I got home, installed the switch, made my eight-thousand-and-second trip outside to hit the breaker, and finally had light. I went back to Kmart to get a switch plate, but despite the array, they didn’t have the one I needed – naturally. I really wanted to finish this stupid switch today. First because it had been annoying me for a week or so. Second because it had become a thing at this point. Third because Terry had called and was coming to stay tonight. I hadn’t seen him since he moved back from Ohio. I wanted the house to be nice. At this point in the proceedings, however, I had to admit defeat. There was no way I was going back out in that mess to drive all over town looking for the switch plate I needed. I sat down at the computer, found one online, and paid $7.40 to have in shipping just to have an end to it.

Having spent three and a half hours trying to replace a fucking light switch, I was done for the day.

I got cleaned up, straightened up the house, started laundry, and put a pan of decadent baked broccoli in. I wanted there to be something good to eat when Terry came in from work.

I settled in on the sofa and played online while I watched telly. TCM showed Wuthering Heights tonight, and it was excellent. Merle Oberon was the perfect Cathy. After that Murder at the Gallop came on. It was as if TCM just planned a special evening for me. I have formerly been a Joan Hickson man, but I’ve seen two of the films that Margaret Rutherford has done. It may be blasphemy to my former self, and to my regard for BBC, but I think I like Margaret Rutherford just as well.

Before the movie ended though, Terry came in. I figured I would be able to find out whodunit anytime, but Terry’s visits are rare. We smoked, talked, and I washed his uniform while he cleaned up. We caught up and I fed him broccoli before he finally had to go to bed. He had to work in the morning. I wish I saw more of him, but he’s so incredibly busy with work and school right now it seems that he is just never free.

It’s lovely and cozy to go to sleep with the knowledge that someone you love is safe and warm under your roof.