A post in which it is a very long day

I woke up this morning knowing I had a lot to do, but Granny was still asleep. She sleeps so poorly that we try really hard not to wake her. I went ahead and got showered and partially packed, then read for a while. The irony didn't escape me that while I'm reading In Defense of Food, basically a treatise on how the Western Diet is killing us, I was doing so at Granny's house. Generally when I'm here I indulge in the worst excesses of the Western Diet. She eats almost nothing but very meat-centric country food, and at 91 if she'll eat anything we encourage it. Although I am usually able to avoid eating meat (as I have this trip), it's hardly a health food junket. But an occasional foray isn't lethal, as even Pollan admits. So when I went down to breakfast I tucked in to a lovely breakfast of leftover biscuits, sourdough toast, broccoli, and scrambled eggs; all liberally dressed with last night's cheese sauce (which actually turned out rather gorgeous), and washed down with cups of coffee with sugar and cream. Most satisfying, but probably not very life-extending.

I had gotten ready earlier on purpose, so that after breakfast I could go on over to the retirement home where Grandma Shumate lives. I got there just before church let out, and was waiting for her in the hall when she left the service. We had a really great visit. She was hearing well today (some days it's really hard to get her to understand me), and feeling chatty. I listened as she recounted old family memories of her childhood, and then of mine. She talked about my father coming to see her, and remembered some of raising him. She caught me up on family news. We talked a bit about what was going on with me, and she asked about Michael, which she rarely does. She's worried about me being alone, I think. She wants me to be happy.

She also talked more openly about a spinster aunt of mine than she has in the past. I've always kind of wondered if she was a lesbian, but of course no one in the family has every talked about it. Grandma came as close as I guess she ever will to talking about that today, but didn't outright tell me. So I guess I'll never know for sure, but I had a great sense of her trying to tell me something that she just couldn't come out with. It's intriguing and frustrating at the same time.

My aunt, I found out today, had never wanted to learn "girl things" about keeping house, etc. She wanted to be out working with her brothers on the farm, and thought it was terribly unfair that her father wouldn't teach her the same things he taught the boys. She didn't like women's clothes, and very seldom ever wore a skirt or dress. She worked in the factories for the war effort in WWII. After the war, she stayed in Charlotte (the big city compared to Wilkesboro)and married for a while, but then she and her husband divorced for reasons that I have never heard detailed. She became a career woman, working in a bakery, and later as a hotel restaurant hostess for many years. She had a long-time woman friend (whose husband was abusive, I found out today). She moved this friend in with her, and they lived together the rest of her life. Sadly, the friend had to be moved to a home for terrible rheumatoid arthritis, but my aunt faithfully went to see after her and visit her until she died. I think my grandmother may have been trying to tell me that she understood, and the she knew my aunt was a good person anyway. My aunt was always frank to the point of rudeness, and that rubbed people the wrong way sometimes; but everyone knew she had a heart of gold. She would always help anyone in the family who needed it, whether they really wanted her help or not LOL. Grandma told me today that she had spoken with my aunt about God and her faith, and was satisfied that she was right with God. I think she was trying to tell me that she has decided that God won't cast me out just because of what I am. I was very touched.

We went in to the dining room so she could have her lunch, and I sat with her while she ate. Grandma ordered me some tea to drink as I sat with her. I think it made her feel good to be able to offer me something. She has spent so much of her life feeding me. As usual when you're at the home, you attract a little buzz of attention at first, but after a while people just kind of went back to the business of their lives. It's always interesting to me to watch the little interactions of this community of people.

By the time I got back, it was almost time to leave. Louise, the woman who stays with Granny at night, came in to start her shift, and mother and I said our goodbyes and headed out. I love my Granny so much. I love that she still has spark and fire at 91 and how she still cares about everything that goes on in her home. I love that she's still herself. In pain, sometimes, and a bit frail, but still the possessor of an indomitable will. I went back for an extra hug before we headed out.

Mom and I went together as far as Statesville and had lunch at the K&W, but then I had to beat feet for Spartanburg. I had filled up the car with gas when we stopped, so Lady Chatterly and I headed off with a half-pack of cigarettes to get to Justin's house in time for the pumpkin carving party tonight.

I got there almost perfectly on time, greeted everyone, unloaded my pumpkin, and showed Justin my finds of yesterday. He was pretty tickled about them too. James and Jeff were there, as was Amanda, of course. The apartment had been transformed. Justin had re-arranged the furniture and draped everything with white sheets, stapling black felt faces on them to transform everything into ghosts. It was very cool. Everywhere you looked there were little labor-intensive touches that showed Justin had put tons of work into this.

We all visited, ate, and hung out for a while, waiting for some later guests to arrive, but eventually we started working on pumpkins. I usually just do a simple plain ole face, but I decided to reach a bit today.

Justin's apartment, cleverly transformed with ghostly sheets

James's pumpkin - he actually did this free-hand, can you believe it?

Amanda's pumpkin

Jeff's pumpkin (left) and Justin's pumpkin (right)

The 'Tetris' pumpkin

My spooky pumpkin

I had some problems with mine, and it didn't turn out exactly as I wanted, but I was pretty happy with it in the end. Chris was sitting over near me, and he was so nice and encouraging. I really like him. James's of course turned out beautiful. He is very talented with his hands. There was a guy named Graham there, and he worked on his for so long that I thought he must have been trying to re-arrange it's DNA to arrive at the design he wanted, but he was having fun, which was all that mattered.

The weekend started catching up with me though. I've been a sociable good boy all weekend, and that just takes it out of me. I felt all bloated up with the mountains of indulgent food I had eaten the last couple of days; and the party food, while lovely, really wasn't helping with that. I was drinking alcohol too, and it was really dragging me down. But I finished my pumpkin and hung out for a while, and eventually we went down to Jeff and James's apartment with Amanda for some quality time there. Parties up there always seem to end up floating back and forth between the houses after a while. When we got back I felt much better, but after what seemed like a very short time, I had to leave. I have to work tomorrow, and I had to drive back to Greenville and unload the car before I could go to bed.

By the time I did all that, I pretty much just collapsed. But it was a really good day.