As usual when I go to the Peace Center, I had to scramble home to eat and get ready in time to get there, but I made it.
The show was good, though her act was almost entirely made up of pop culture humor. Some of the jokes I understood better than others, but it was funny, and I did have a good time. The guy I went with was very nice, but as I feared there was no chemistry. The Peace Center was like old homo week, there were so many gay people there. There were a fair number of bears, but in general more of the fashionable, uber-skinny, trendy gay people there than I generally feel comfortable around.
Unsurprisingly, as we left, I ran into Glen and Stanley. This would be their kind of event. Stanley was very nice, but Glen basically looked shocked to start with, and then kind of looked at me like I was a pool of infected slime mold. For some reason, seeing them pretty much ruined the evening for me. It shouldn't have, and I don't know why it did, but there you go. I went from feeling witty and desirable to old, fat, and used up in record time. I felt suddenly rumpled and frumpy. I remembered the shirt I was wearing didn't fit me right, and of course standing next to the sleekly turned out Glen (not dressed too young tonight) I felt hopelessly awkward and out of style in general.
Russ and Billy were there with David and Brian. Vince and Brian were there as well. We stopped to talk to everyone for a few minutes after we got outside, but it was a Thursday night, and folks were peeling off pretty quickly to get home. I asked Russ a bit too abruptly about the costume plans for Halloween this year. I probably pissed him off. But I hate theme costumes to start with, and I was feeling impatient and out of sorts. On the one hand, I wanted to go someplace with friends and feel like part of something for a bit; but on the other hand I felt isolated and very odd man out standing there talking to all those couples. It just reinforced my reject status.
The guy I was with left pretty abruptly. He teaches, had to be up early tomorrow, had a half hour drive to get home, and it was already 10. Since the bears weren't going anywhere afterwards I went on home. As I was walking off with them, I noticed a very attractive young man, and had just decided that he was a cool straight guy when he spoke to Billy. Turns out he was gay. He was telling Billy, jokingly, that he was single and needed a date, and Billy immediately started talking to him about Ted. In truth, he would have been about right for Ted. They're about the same age and "looks level". I didn't say a peep. After the guy walked off, Billy remembered me, and said "Oh I'm sorry, baby, I forgot you're single too." Now this guy was way out of my league - he would no more have considered me than he would Rush Limbaugh, but somehow just the way Billy said it made me feel like I've just been written off. Resigned to spinsterhood at 42. Sigh. Of course, no one knows the short shelf-life of gay men better than me.
I got home, stripped gratefully out of my ill-fitting and unfashionable ensemble, and was truly glad to be where no one could see me. I texted M, curious about what he told Glen about our break-up, but of course received no response. It really shouldn't matter to me. I know that. But it does.
The show was good, though her act was almost entirely made up of pop culture humor. Some of the jokes I understood better than others, but it was funny, and I did have a good time. The guy I went with was very nice, but as I feared there was no chemistry. The Peace Center was like old homo week, there were so many gay people there. There were a fair number of bears, but in general more of the fashionable, uber-skinny, trendy gay people there than I generally feel comfortable around.
Unsurprisingly, as we left, I ran into Glen and Stanley. This would be their kind of event. Stanley was very nice, but Glen basically looked shocked to start with, and then kind of looked at me like I was a pool of infected slime mold. For some reason, seeing them pretty much ruined the evening for me. It shouldn't have, and I don't know why it did, but there you go. I went from feeling witty and desirable to old, fat, and used up in record time. I felt suddenly rumpled and frumpy. I remembered the shirt I was wearing didn't fit me right, and of course standing next to the sleekly turned out Glen (not dressed too young tonight) I felt hopelessly awkward and out of style in general.
Russ and Billy were there with David and Brian. Vince and Brian were there as well. We stopped to talk to everyone for a few minutes after we got outside, but it was a Thursday night, and folks were peeling off pretty quickly to get home. I asked Russ a bit too abruptly about the costume plans for Halloween this year. I probably pissed him off. But I hate theme costumes to start with, and I was feeling impatient and out of sorts. On the one hand, I wanted to go someplace with friends and feel like part of something for a bit; but on the other hand I felt isolated and very odd man out standing there talking to all those couples. It just reinforced my reject status.
The guy I was with left pretty abruptly. He teaches, had to be up early tomorrow, had a half hour drive to get home, and it was already 10. Since the bears weren't going anywhere afterwards I went on home. As I was walking off with them, I noticed a very attractive young man, and had just decided that he was a cool straight guy when he spoke to Billy. Turns out he was gay. He was telling Billy, jokingly, that he was single and needed a date, and Billy immediately started talking to him about Ted. In truth, he would have been about right for Ted. They're about the same age and "looks level". I didn't say a peep. After the guy walked off, Billy remembered me, and said "Oh I'm sorry, baby, I forgot you're single too." Now this guy was way out of my league - he would no more have considered me than he would Rush Limbaugh, but somehow just the way Billy said it made me feel like I've just been written off. Resigned to spinsterhood at 42. Sigh. Of course, no one knows the short shelf-life of gay men better than me.
I got home, stripped gratefully out of my ill-fitting and unfashionable ensemble, and was truly glad to be where no one could see me. I texted M, curious about what he told Glen about our break-up, but of course received no response. It really shouldn't matter to me. I know that. But it does.
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