I was lazy this morning. I woke up at 7:30, but didn’t feel like getting up. But I knew I had a lot to do today. I messed around on the computer for a while without really getting anything much done, and eventually moseyed on in to the kitchen and made some breakfast. I didn’t have any coffee because I was planning on getting a nap in.
After breakfast I watched telly for a bit, and then decided I may as well get my costume started. I put the darks in so I could wash the black pillow cases I had bought to cut out spots and ears. I got out the whites to get out my sweatpants and shirt, and found brown mystery spots on my shirt. I’m having issues with the dryer, but I can’t find out what is making the spots. Anyway, the shirt had to be washed again.
I went ahead and made the pattern for the tail and cut it out. I got out the sewing machine and put it together. I cut out the band to hold my ears on. When the black pillow case came out I went ahead and cut my ears out and put that all together. I decided to just sew the band to fit my head rather than go out for Velcro. I cut the spots out, and started putting the tail together. That was a real pain. Because of the shape, the tail had to be almost entirely done by hand.
By the time I got finished with the costume, it was amazingly 4:15, and I was supposed to be at R&B’s at 5:30. I straightened up the house a tiny bit and then jumped in the shower. I had a fleeting thought that I might have someone back, but then dismissed it. That just doesn’t happen to me at parties anymore; particularly this one, which isn’t supposed to be a bear event.
There had been an interesting development though. I talked to a guy I know named Rodney today. He’s been telling me I need to meet a friend of his named Jason. I’ve seen pics of Jason on Robert’s Facebook page, and I’ve been bugging Rodney to introduce me. Turns out they are going to be at this party tonight. Great. And I’ll have on dog ears with matching eye-bags from no nap today, not to mention a hunched back from sewing all day. But still I was excited about meeting the guy, and trying not to get my hopes up.
I got to R&B’s only about five minutes late, so really on time in gay hours. I collapsed in the floor. Really at that point I didn’t care about the party so much as just sitting down for a while. I hadn’t put on my costume yet, because a) it was raining, and I knew if I went outside the dogs would get it filthy; b) we were supposed to go early to help out, and I didn’t relish the possibility of crawling through wet shrubbery to light candles or string lights in that outfit; and c) I wasn’t so sure about driving with a tail.
When we got there it turned out to be not so much of an issue. I got put on kitchen duty, pulling puffs and stuff in and out of the oven and putting them on the buffet. I was amazed at the volume of food. Tons. But the decorations left the food in the dust. It was a large house, I would estimate at least 3,000 square feet. Every inch was decorated. The light bulbs had all been changed out for black lights, or red bulbs, or orange. There were thousands of tiny orange lights draped over bushes and trees outside, between many large blow-up or full size animatronic figures. There were over a hundred candles. Each room had some kind of large horror tableau. Every surface was decorated. Every corner had some manner of bric-a-brac, or a jar of fake eyeballs, or something. They had spent three months decorating. I could well believe it.
I would have been completely insane after about a week, and would never have wanted to do it again, but I understand they do this every year. More power to them. It was a most impressive party.
Also, to their credit, most of the revelers were in costume. I was kind of glad I had spent all that time today on mine. It was cute. Although I had been pretty steamed when I showed up at R&B’s to find that basically they had bought polo shirts to personify their Peanuts characters. Kirkland was Woodstock, and he had painted Woodstock on a t-shirt to wear. Cute, but as a costume not that impressive.
We had been out on the porch to smoke and I was headed to the buffet (since it was past 8, and I was now officially a guest), when I passed Ben coming in the front door. “He’s here,” Ben said. “He’s just outside the front door.” I had checked with Rodney earlier to find out Jason’s costume (a tennis player, the better to show off his legs) and we had all been on the lookout for him. I fixed my Snoopy ears (which were surprisingly warm) and went on out. I saw Rodney first, and then Jason. He is cute, and very nice. It didn’t feel terribly awkward to meet him. After a few minutes, we were just chatting away. He does have great legs too.
It was a great party, and we had a good time. I spent a lot of the evening chatting with Jason. I really wanted to know him better. He sat back with us on the porch and talked. He got the general seal of approval from the group, which is good, since R&B have official veto power over boyfriends now.
When the party was winding down, Jason said exactly what I had been thinking. He wanted to see more of me, and he wanted to see me one on one for a bit. I couldn’t agree more. I had ridden with R&B, in part, so that I wouldn’t be tempted to take things too fast tonight, but sometimes you just have to jump in there. On the way home, David laid down the law. “OK, Steve. This guy’s a keeper. Don’t screw it up.”
I went to his apartment after I got my car. And I was very glad I did. He’s a really nice guy. He seems to be just as into me as I am into him. And I just keep finding things I like.
It was a very good evening, and the best Halloween I can remember in a long, long time.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
A post in which is is almost Halloween part II
It was a very long day today. Everyone was excited about Halloween tomorrow. There was candy left from the kids last night and I ate a little. I was really ready to go though. Wearing my kilt to work was novel, but didn’t make the day go a bit faster.
As soon as possible, I headed for Russ’s to get my hair cut. I am behind a week because I wasn’t getting the reminder notices. We finally got that worked out this week. An old acquaintance, Cliff, was there getting his hair cut as well. He looked good, but is having some health issues. He’s a small businessman and isn’t able to afford health insurance, so he’s concerned.
Russ's new skill, which he has just learned, is nose-hair waxing. Apparently the FDA would not allow this previously, but has changed the rules. Freshly certified, Russ was looking for a guinea pig to practice on. No points for guessing who got volunteered, against my objections. I've had my neck waxed twice, and twice was quite enough, my not being a natural soprano. Nasal waxing involves shoving a cool (thank goodness) wax-coated stick up your nose, and then yanking it out. This is about as pleasant as it sounds. The worst part is that he put them both in at once, so when he finished yanking the first one out, I knew there was still another one to go. It was OK once the bleeding stopped. I did have the hairless nostrils of a 15-year-old girl when he was finished. That has never been a particular goal of mine, but gather ye rosebuds while ye may, I guess.
After I got my hair cut, I called Billy to see what he wanted for supper and we ended up going out for sushi. Yay! We went to a place near their house. I haven’t eaten there for a while, but it’s a Miyako, the same restaurant that I eat sushi at with Justin in Spartanburg. I didn’t realize there was one here. I’ll be back. I still have a whole costume to make tomorrow, but I just wanted a break tonight. It's been a long week this week, and I've been very busy.
While we were there though, there was a really noise group of girls out in costume for a birthday party. We were seated by the bar, and they kind of filled up the room after they ate, talking very loudly. One of them stood practically at our table, and had a very loud conversation on the phone. R&B said there was a very loud party the last time they were there. Odd how those things work.
After supper, Russ was revved up for some shopping, so we went over to one of the Halloween stores to have a look round. They had some really neat stuff even now. There was one animatronic figurine of a demonic little girl that really kind of freaked me out. They had way too much clown stuff too – and it wasn’t all in one place. It was scattered all around the store, where I kept coming across little pockets of it.
We had a good time looking at all the stuff, and bought some small stuff for tomorrow night. Russ is dying to know what I’m doing for my costume, and I’m not telling him out of sheer perverseness. It’s not an attractive trait, I know, but he can just never wait to be surprised. I’m going to wait and let him get the full effect all at once.
After the store, we went back to their place and hung out for a while on the porch. I just love sitting and talking to Russ on the porch. It is really one of my favorite things in life.
As soon as possible, I headed for Russ’s to get my hair cut. I am behind a week because I wasn’t getting the reminder notices. We finally got that worked out this week. An old acquaintance, Cliff, was there getting his hair cut as well. He looked good, but is having some health issues. He’s a small businessman and isn’t able to afford health insurance, so he’s concerned.
Russ's new skill, which he has just learned, is nose-hair waxing. Apparently the FDA would not allow this previously, but has changed the rules. Freshly certified, Russ was looking for a guinea pig to practice on. No points for guessing who got volunteered, against my objections. I've had my neck waxed twice, and twice was quite enough, my not being a natural soprano. Nasal waxing involves shoving a cool (thank goodness) wax-coated stick up your nose, and then yanking it out. This is about as pleasant as it sounds. The worst part is that he put them both in at once, so when he finished yanking the first one out, I knew there was still another one to go. It was OK once the bleeding stopped. I did have the hairless nostrils of a 15-year-old girl when he was finished. That has never been a particular goal of mine, but gather ye rosebuds while ye may, I guess.
After I got my hair cut, I called Billy to see what he wanted for supper and we ended up going out for sushi. Yay! We went to a place near their house. I haven’t eaten there for a while, but it’s a Miyako, the same restaurant that I eat sushi at with Justin in Spartanburg. I didn’t realize there was one here. I’ll be back. I still have a whole costume to make tomorrow, but I just wanted a break tonight. It's been a long week this week, and I've been very busy.
While we were there though, there was a really noise group of girls out in costume for a birthday party. We were seated by the bar, and they kind of filled up the room after they ate, talking very loudly. One of them stood practically at our table, and had a very loud conversation on the phone. R&B said there was a very loud party the last time they were there. Odd how those things work.
After supper, Russ was revved up for some shopping, so we went over to one of the Halloween stores to have a look round. They had some really neat stuff even now. There was one animatronic figurine of a demonic little girl that really kind of freaked me out. They had way too much clown stuff too – and it wasn’t all in one place. It was scattered all around the store, where I kept coming across little pockets of it.
We had a good time looking at all the stuff, and bought some small stuff for tomorrow night. Russ is dying to know what I’m doing for my costume, and I’m not telling him out of sheer perverseness. It’s not an attractive trait, I know, but he can just never wait to be surprised. I’m going to wait and let him get the full effect all at once.
After the store, we went back to their place and hung out for a while on the porch. I just love sitting and talking to Russ on the porch. It is really one of my favorite things in life.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
A post in which Victory is Mine!*
I was run down last night. I slept for 9 hours, almost without turning over. To be on the safe side, I decided not to go out to smoke this morning. I just had coffee in the house while I got ready.
I did get my Christmas shopping started today. That really needed doing. I got Russ out of the way, which is always a relief, since he has everything in the world that he wants. I also got Cole out of the way, and had a discussion with Lisa about what she wants. I'm just going to get her a gift card. She says she wants clothes, but doesn't know what size she wears any more. With that, coupled with her very specific tastes, I'm just not getting into that.
I also talked to the bank today, and we are almost a go on re-financing the house. I go to sign the papers on Monday. I'm pretty stoked about that. I can't wait to have my new windows!
After work tonight, I had a mission. I had to find a pair of white sweat pants. I had called a couple of places from work today, but no dice. It did save me some time though. I decided just to go to Haywood Mall and see what I could find. The JC Penney lady had told me last night they had some things that might work, if not exactly what I was looking for. At this point it was any port in a storm.
I went in Dillard’s first, took the downstairs, and systematically worked my way through the mall. I completed the ground floor around 7pm. I was tired and pretty discouraged. But I doggedly started on the top floor. A nice lesbian working at a sporting goods store had told me that they had Michael Jordan white sweats that cost $60 (yikes!), which I was not about to pay. She said there was another sporting goods store I could try, and suggested that I try the hip-hop stores. I had found the pants the lady talked to me about last night on the phone, and they wouldn’t work – they were also $35 each. I had also found a pair of possibles at a hip-hop store, but they were really wind-suit kind of pants; and that wasn’t really what I wanted. Plus they were $30. I was thinking maybe I could turn them inside-out, but really didn't want to spend that much.
As I started out onto the top floor, I found another hip-hop place and ducked in. Seldom have I felt whiter. They had several styles of white pants, including Dickies. In the back of the store I found a pair of hip-hop style sweat pants, but they were $44. I was about to leave when I saw some more of them on a sale table up front – only $20. Now that was more than I had planned on spending, but at this point I was tired and ready for some supper. I tried them on and really liked them. Then I had a flash of inspiration. Instead of dead Snoopy as I had thought, I could get some cheap bling and go as Snoopy Doggy Dog! Cool! I have a visor at work from a trade show, and I can turn it around and all. So I was pretty stoked. I bounced the idea off of the Chinese guy that ran the store, and he thought it was pretty funny.
I left the mall feeling pretty triumphant. I went to the K&W for a veggie plate to celebrate, and finished my first of the Laurell K Hamilton books that Miss Kat loaned me, Guilty Pleasures. It’s a bit cheesy, but I love the Sam Spade style thoughts of the protagonist Anita Blake. Plus I have to say that Hamilton brings things to a heart-stopping conclusion with aplomb. It was a good read. Even though Michael and Joe weren't with me, I sat at the table where we always sit.
I went on home, stripped the tags off the new stuff for my costume, and put in a load of whites so everything would be ready to start sewing. I have everything now. I stayed up long enough to put the load in the dryer and then went on to bed.
I did get my Christmas shopping started today. That really needed doing. I got Russ out of the way, which is always a relief, since he has everything in the world that he wants. I also got Cole out of the way, and had a discussion with Lisa about what she wants. I'm just going to get her a gift card. She says she wants clothes, but doesn't know what size she wears any more. With that, coupled with her very specific tastes, I'm just not getting into that.
I also talked to the bank today, and we are almost a go on re-financing the house. I go to sign the papers on Monday. I'm pretty stoked about that. I can't wait to have my new windows!
After work tonight, I had a mission. I had to find a pair of white sweat pants. I had called a couple of places from work today, but no dice. It did save me some time though. I decided just to go to Haywood Mall and see what I could find. The JC Penney lady had told me last night they had some things that might work, if not exactly what I was looking for. At this point it was any port in a storm.
I went in Dillard’s first, took the downstairs, and systematically worked my way through the mall. I completed the ground floor around 7pm. I was tired and pretty discouraged. But I doggedly started on the top floor. A nice lesbian working at a sporting goods store had told me that they had Michael Jordan white sweats that cost $60 (yikes!), which I was not about to pay. She said there was another sporting goods store I could try, and suggested that I try the hip-hop stores. I had found the pants the lady talked to me about last night on the phone, and they wouldn’t work – they were also $35 each. I had also found a pair of possibles at a hip-hop store, but they were really wind-suit kind of pants; and that wasn’t really what I wanted. Plus they were $30. I was thinking maybe I could turn them inside-out, but really didn't want to spend that much.
As I started out onto the top floor, I found another hip-hop place and ducked in. Seldom have I felt whiter. They had several styles of white pants, including Dickies. In the back of the store I found a pair of hip-hop style sweat pants, but they were $44. I was about to leave when I saw some more of them on a sale table up front – only $20. Now that was more than I had planned on spending, but at this point I was tired and ready for some supper. I tried them on and really liked them. Then I had a flash of inspiration. Instead of dead Snoopy as I had thought, I could get some cheap bling and go as Snoopy Doggy Dog! Cool! I have a visor at work from a trade show, and I can turn it around and all. So I was pretty stoked. I bounced the idea off of the Chinese guy that ran the store, and he thought it was pretty funny.
I left the mall feeling pretty triumphant. I went to the K&W for a veggie plate to celebrate, and finished my first of the Laurell K Hamilton books that Miss Kat loaned me, Guilty Pleasures. It’s a bit cheesy, but I love the Sam Spade style thoughts of the protagonist Anita Blake. Plus I have to say that Hamilton brings things to a heart-stopping conclusion with aplomb. It was a good read. Even though Michael and Joe weren't with me, I sat at the table where we always sit.
I went on home, stripped the tags off the new stuff for my costume, and put in a load of whites so everything would be ready to start sewing. I have everything now. I stayed up long enough to put the load in the dryer and then went on to bed.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
A post in which I face an unexpected challenge
I had dinner out with Dick and Eve tonight. She called me today to tell me to meet them at Fried Green Tomatoes, which suited me just fine. They have incredible biscuits and I was just in the mood for some. This week I'm craving broccoli with cheese sauce and blackberry jam. Jam would have been truly excellent on those biscuits, but they were still pretty damn scrumptious without it. The jam Justin gave me that he made this summer is so good that it's got me craving it.
Since I had a little time after work and the weather was pretty today, I ran in to Wal-Mart to pick up stuff I need to work on my Halloween costume. The thing I thought I would have a hard time finding, a logo-free long-sleeved white t-shirt, I practically stumbled across as I walked in the door. Thinking that the hard part was over, I went on to pick up the rest of my stuff. But there were no white sweat pants. So I got everything else and headed on to supper.
I had a nice meal with Dick and Eve, but I was feeling really tired. Just drug-out. I don't know if I'm coming down with something, or if it's just the last couple of days catching up with me, but I was really beat. I enjoyed talking to them, and delivered Dad his sweet potatoes, but begged off going to their house tonight as I usually do after supper.
I headed home, but was thinking I needed to muster the energy to pick up the sweat pants on the way in so I'd have everything together.
Kmart didn't have any either.
When I got home I fired up the computer and called Sports Authority, Dick's Sporting Goods, and Target. No. No. And no. Finally at Penney's, the clerk told me they had something that might work (not sweat pants, but some kind of work-out pants - they have a small stripe on the side, but that may have to do). So I'm going over to the mall tonight to have a look around. This was the one thing that I thought I could find with no problem, so of course it is a problem. Of course I can find them all over the place on-line, but there's no time to deliver them at this point. If worst comes to worst I could just make a pair, but that seems like a huge pain.
By this time, it was almost 9pm and the stores were closing, so I decided to try again tomorrow and went on to bed. I am really worn out. And frustrated.
Since I had a little time after work and the weather was pretty today, I ran in to Wal-Mart to pick up stuff I need to work on my Halloween costume. The thing I thought I would have a hard time finding, a logo-free long-sleeved white t-shirt, I practically stumbled across as I walked in the door. Thinking that the hard part was over, I went on to pick up the rest of my stuff. But there were no white sweat pants. So I got everything else and headed on to supper.
I had a nice meal with Dick and Eve, but I was feeling really tired. Just drug-out. I don't know if I'm coming down with something, or if it's just the last couple of days catching up with me, but I was really beat. I enjoyed talking to them, and delivered Dad his sweet potatoes, but begged off going to their house tonight as I usually do after supper.
I headed home, but was thinking I needed to muster the energy to pick up the sweat pants on the way in so I'd have everything together.
Kmart didn't have any either.
When I got home I fired up the computer and called Sports Authority, Dick's Sporting Goods, and Target. No. No. And no. Finally at Penney's, the clerk told me they had something that might work (not sweat pants, but some kind of work-out pants - they have a small stripe on the side, but that may have to do). So I'm going over to the mall tonight to have a look around. This was the one thing that I thought I could find with no problem, so of course it is a problem. Of course I can find them all over the place on-line, but there's no time to deliver them at this point. If worst comes to worst I could just make a pair, but that seems like a huge pain.
By this time, it was almost 9pm and the stores were closing, so I decided to try again tomorrow and went on to bed. I am really worn out. And frustrated.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
A post in which I get to relax at home!
Well, kind of.
I was actually up early this morning, but still feeling the need for some coffee to get me moving.
Today was the day the trick-or-treaters came in to work. I brought my candy in, only to find about a bushel was there already! But we’re supposed to have 100 kids come in this evening.
I got all my write-offs back and turned in for processing. $2.2 Million Dollars. The most I have ever done in a month. This is the amount we usually write off in a year. I guess it’s a sign of the times. I’m glad the economy seems to be digging out.
And it started raining again today. Joy. I thought maybe it would be finished by the time I got off work; but no dice. I made my way to the car, got my arm soaked putting my stuff at the library in the drop box, and got home. Then I remembered I was supposed to go buy stuff to put together my Halloween costume tonight. But there was no way I was going back out in that crap. If I have to I’ll do it all on Saturday.
I had a piecemeal supper of cheese biscuits (thanks Justin); cheese toast made with homemade sourdough Mom sent home with me from the weekend, microwave steamed sugar snap peas, and nuts. To finish I had about half of the gorgeous Wee Lemons (tiny delectable lemon tea cakes that Justin makes) that Justin sent home with me from the pumpkin carving on Sunday. Then I felt really, really lazy.
I caught up on Facebook (bleah). I have to do that on the laptop, since the website is blocked at work, and the functions won’t work on the Mac. Eventually, I made myself get up, change the sheets, and put the old sheets in to wash. I folded the clothes from the drier, and washed the dishes from lunch and supper. I called Eve to schedule a drop-off of some white sweet potatoes for Dad (he pouted a bit the last time I got some because I didn’t bring him any). I had thought I would bake them tomorrow, but it was still early enough to put them in tonight, so I scrubbed up mine and baked them.
I thought I was pretty productive for feeling so lazy and being out last night. The cats were thrilled that I was home. I haven’t been in the house for an evening since last Thursday. It felt good to be cozy in my house with the rain outside.
Tomorrow night, I’m back out having dinner with Dick and Eve, but it was nice to be home for just a bit. I snuggled up in clean Downy-scented sheets, read for a while, and eventually went to sleep listening to the rain tap on the window and the purrs of two happy kitties.
I was actually up early this morning, but still feeling the need for some coffee to get me moving.
Today was the day the trick-or-treaters came in to work. I brought my candy in, only to find about a bushel was there already! But we’re supposed to have 100 kids come in this evening.
I got all my write-offs back and turned in for processing. $2.2 Million Dollars. The most I have ever done in a month. This is the amount we usually write off in a year. I guess it’s a sign of the times. I’m glad the economy seems to be digging out.
And it started raining again today. Joy. I thought maybe it would be finished by the time I got off work; but no dice. I made my way to the car, got my arm soaked putting my stuff at the library in the drop box, and got home. Then I remembered I was supposed to go buy stuff to put together my Halloween costume tonight. But there was no way I was going back out in that crap. If I have to I’ll do it all on Saturday.
I had a piecemeal supper of cheese biscuits (thanks Justin); cheese toast made with homemade sourdough Mom sent home with me from the weekend, microwave steamed sugar snap peas, and nuts. To finish I had about half of the gorgeous Wee Lemons (tiny delectable lemon tea cakes that Justin makes) that Justin sent home with me from the pumpkin carving on Sunday. Then I felt really, really lazy.
I caught up on Facebook (bleah). I have to do that on the laptop, since the website is blocked at work, and the functions won’t work on the Mac. Eventually, I made myself get up, change the sheets, and put the old sheets in to wash. I folded the clothes from the drier, and washed the dishes from lunch and supper. I called Eve to schedule a drop-off of some white sweet potatoes for Dad (he pouted a bit the last time I got some because I didn’t bring him any). I had thought I would bake them tomorrow, but it was still early enough to put them in tonight, so I scrubbed up mine and baked them.
I thought I was pretty productive for feeling so lazy and being out last night. The cats were thrilled that I was home. I haven’t been in the house for an evening since last Thursday. It felt good to be cozy in my house with the rain outside.
Tomorrow night, I’m back out having dinner with Dick and Eve, but it was nice to be home for just a bit. I snuggled up in clean Downy-scented sheets, read for a while, and eventually went to sleep listening to the rain tap on the window and the purrs of two happy kitties.
Monday, October 26, 2009
A post in which I shrug off responsibilities
The alarm went off at 5:30am. Not an auspicious start. I had forgotten to re-set it from last week. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was too late. I just got up and took my time having coffee and cigs on the porch.
I was amazingly productive at work today, considering.
Greg texted me in the afternoon, he had a surprise for me. He was in town and at Miss Kat and dana’s. They invited me over after work. I wanted to go, but I kind of had to re-org all the stuff I had planned for tonight.
I decided I could sleep on last week’s sheets one more night, that wouldn’t kill me.
I could put off returning my stuff to the library for one day – a 20-minute detour vs. fifteen cents in overdue fines was kind of a no-brainer.
If I did a fast trip through the grocery store (I had to go) I could grab dinner there, eat it when I got home, and head back out.
So that’s what I did. I caught up on email while I ate dinner, changed and headed out.I had a very nice visit with Miss Kat, dana, and Greg. We caught up, and watched part of Scary Movie II. I felt like it was the first time I’d been able to sit down and relax since last Thursday, although I know that isn’t true.
I was amazingly productive at work today, considering.
Greg texted me in the afternoon, he had a surprise for me. He was in town and at Miss Kat and dana’s. They invited me over after work. I wanted to go, but I kind of had to re-org all the stuff I had planned for tonight.
I decided I could sleep on last week’s sheets one more night, that wouldn’t kill me.
I could put off returning my stuff to the library for one day – a 20-minute detour vs. fifteen cents in overdue fines was kind of a no-brainer.
If I did a fast trip through the grocery store (I had to go) I could grab dinner there, eat it when I got home, and head back out.
So that’s what I did. I caught up on email while I ate dinner, changed and headed out.I had a very nice visit with Miss Kat, dana, and Greg. We caught up, and watched part of Scary Movie II. I felt like it was the first time I’d been able to sit down and relax since last Thursday, although I know that isn’t true.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A post in which it is a very long day
I woke up this morning knowing I had a lot to do, but Granny was still asleep. She sleeps so poorly that we try really hard not to wake her. I went ahead and got showered and partially packed, then read for a while. The irony didn't escape me that while I'm reading In Defense of Food, basically a treatise on how the Western Diet is killing us, I was doing so at Granny's house. Generally when I'm here I indulge in the worst excesses of the Western Diet. She eats almost nothing but very meat-centric country food, and at 91 if she'll eat anything we encourage it. Although I am usually able to avoid eating meat (as I have this trip), it's hardly a health food junket. But an occasional foray isn't lethal, as even Pollan admits. So when I went down to breakfast I tucked in to a lovely breakfast of leftover biscuits, sourdough toast, broccoli, and scrambled eggs; all liberally dressed with last night's cheese sauce (which actually turned out rather gorgeous), and washed down with cups of coffee with sugar and cream. Most satisfying, but probably not very life-extending.
I had gotten ready earlier on purpose, so that after breakfast I could go on over to the retirement home where Grandma Shumate lives. I got there just before church let out, and was waiting for her in the hall when she left the service. We had a really great visit. She was hearing well today (some days it's really hard to get her to understand me), and feeling chatty. I listened as she recounted old family memories of her childhood, and then of mine. She talked about my father coming to see her, and remembered some of raising him. She caught me up on family news. We talked a bit about what was going on with me, and she asked about Michael, which she rarely does. She's worried about me being alone, I think. She wants me to be happy.
She also talked more openly about a spinster aunt of mine than she has in the past. I've always kind of wondered if she was a lesbian, but of course no one in the family has every talked about it. Grandma came as close as I guess she ever will to talking about that today, but didn't outright tell me. So I guess I'll never know for sure, but I had a great sense of her trying to tell me something that she just couldn't come out with. It's intriguing and frustrating at the same time.
My aunt, I found out today, had never wanted to learn "girl things" about keeping house, etc. She wanted to be out working with her brothers on the farm, and thought it was terribly unfair that her father wouldn't teach her the same things he taught the boys. She didn't like women's clothes, and very seldom ever wore a skirt or dress. She worked in the factories for the war effort in WWII. After the war, she stayed in Charlotte (the big city compared to Wilkesboro)and married for a while, but then she and her husband divorced for reasons that I have never heard detailed. She became a career woman, working in a bakery, and later as a hotel restaurant hostess for many years. She had a long-time woman friend (whose husband was abusive, I found out today). She moved this friend in with her, and they lived together the rest of her life. Sadly, the friend had to be moved to a home for terrible rheumatoid arthritis, but my aunt faithfully went to see after her and visit her until she died. I think my grandmother may have been trying to tell me that she understood, and the she knew my aunt was a good person anyway. My aunt was always frank to the point of rudeness, and that rubbed people the wrong way sometimes; but everyone knew she had a heart of gold. She would always help anyone in the family who needed it, whether they really wanted her help or not LOL. Grandma told me today that she had spoken with my aunt about God and her faith, and was satisfied that she was right with God. I think she was trying to tell me that she has decided that God won't cast me out just because of what I am. I was very touched.
We went in to the dining room so she could have her lunch, and I sat with her while she ate. Grandma ordered me some tea to drink as I sat with her. I think it made her feel good to be able to offer me something. She has spent so much of her life feeding me. As usual when you're at the home, you attract a little buzz of attention at first, but after a while people just kind of went back to the business of their lives. It's always interesting to me to watch the little interactions of this community of people.
By the time I got back, it was almost time to leave. Louise, the woman who stays with Granny at night, came in to start her shift, and mother and I said our goodbyes and headed out. I love my Granny so much. I love that she still has spark and fire at 91 and how she still cares about everything that goes on in her home. I love that she's still herself. In pain, sometimes, and a bit frail, but still the possessor of an indomitable will. I went back for an extra hug before we headed out.
Mom and I went together as far as Statesville and had lunch at the K&W, but then I had to beat feet for Spartanburg. I had filled up the car with gas when we stopped, so Lady Chatterly and I headed off with a half-pack of cigarettes to get to Justin's house in time for the pumpkin carving party tonight.
I got there almost perfectly on time, greeted everyone, unloaded my pumpkin, and showed Justin my finds of yesterday. He was pretty tickled about them too. James and Jeff were there, as was Amanda, of course. The apartment had been transformed. Justin had re-arranged the furniture and draped everything with white sheets, stapling black felt faces on them to transform everything into ghosts. It was very cool. Everywhere you looked there were little labor-intensive touches that showed Justin had put tons of work into this.
We all visited, ate, and hung out for a while, waiting for some later guests to arrive, but eventually we started working on pumpkins. I usually just do a simple plain ole face, but I decided to reach a bit today.
The 'Tetris' pumpkin
My spooky pumpkin
I had gotten ready earlier on purpose, so that after breakfast I could go on over to the retirement home where Grandma Shumate lives. I got there just before church let out, and was waiting for her in the hall when she left the service. We had a really great visit. She was hearing well today (some days it's really hard to get her to understand me), and feeling chatty. I listened as she recounted old family memories of her childhood, and then of mine. She talked about my father coming to see her, and remembered some of raising him. She caught me up on family news. We talked a bit about what was going on with me, and she asked about Michael, which she rarely does. She's worried about me being alone, I think. She wants me to be happy.
She also talked more openly about a spinster aunt of mine than she has in the past. I've always kind of wondered if she was a lesbian, but of course no one in the family has every talked about it. Grandma came as close as I guess she ever will to talking about that today, but didn't outright tell me. So I guess I'll never know for sure, but I had a great sense of her trying to tell me something that she just couldn't come out with. It's intriguing and frustrating at the same time.
My aunt, I found out today, had never wanted to learn "girl things" about keeping house, etc. She wanted to be out working with her brothers on the farm, and thought it was terribly unfair that her father wouldn't teach her the same things he taught the boys. She didn't like women's clothes, and very seldom ever wore a skirt or dress. She worked in the factories for the war effort in WWII. After the war, she stayed in Charlotte (the big city compared to Wilkesboro)and married for a while, but then she and her husband divorced for reasons that I have never heard detailed. She became a career woman, working in a bakery, and later as a hotel restaurant hostess for many years. She had a long-time woman friend (whose husband was abusive, I found out today). She moved this friend in with her, and they lived together the rest of her life. Sadly, the friend had to be moved to a home for terrible rheumatoid arthritis, but my aunt faithfully went to see after her and visit her until she died. I think my grandmother may have been trying to tell me that she understood, and the she knew my aunt was a good person anyway. My aunt was always frank to the point of rudeness, and that rubbed people the wrong way sometimes; but everyone knew she had a heart of gold. She would always help anyone in the family who needed it, whether they really wanted her help or not LOL. Grandma told me today that she had spoken with my aunt about God and her faith, and was satisfied that she was right with God. I think she was trying to tell me that she has decided that God won't cast me out just because of what I am. I was very touched.
We went in to the dining room so she could have her lunch, and I sat with her while she ate. Grandma ordered me some tea to drink as I sat with her. I think it made her feel good to be able to offer me something. She has spent so much of her life feeding me. As usual when you're at the home, you attract a little buzz of attention at first, but after a while people just kind of went back to the business of their lives. It's always interesting to me to watch the little interactions of this community of people.
By the time I got back, it was almost time to leave. Louise, the woman who stays with Granny at night, came in to start her shift, and mother and I said our goodbyes and headed out. I love my Granny so much. I love that she still has spark and fire at 91 and how she still cares about everything that goes on in her home. I love that she's still herself. In pain, sometimes, and a bit frail, but still the possessor of an indomitable will. I went back for an extra hug before we headed out.
Mom and I went together as far as Statesville and had lunch at the K&W, but then I had to beat feet for Spartanburg. I had filled up the car with gas when we stopped, so Lady Chatterly and I headed off with a half-pack of cigarettes to get to Justin's house in time for the pumpkin carving party tonight.
I got there almost perfectly on time, greeted everyone, unloaded my pumpkin, and showed Justin my finds of yesterday. He was pretty tickled about them too. James and Jeff were there, as was Amanda, of course. The apartment had been transformed. Justin had re-arranged the furniture and draped everything with white sheets, stapling black felt faces on them to transform everything into ghosts. It was very cool. Everywhere you looked there were little labor-intensive touches that showed Justin had put tons of work into this.
We all visited, ate, and hung out for a while, waiting for some later guests to arrive, but eventually we started working on pumpkins. I usually just do a simple plain ole face, but I decided to reach a bit today.
Justin's apartment, cleverly transformed with ghostly sheets
James's pumpkin - he actually did this free-hand, can you believe it?
Amanda's pumpkin
Jeff's pumpkin (left) and Justin's pumpkin (right)
The 'Tetris' pumpkin
My spooky pumpkinI had some problems with mine, and it didn't turn out exactly as I wanted, but I was pretty happy with it in the end. Chris was sitting over near me, and he was so nice and encouraging. I really like him. James's of course turned out beautiful. He is very talented with his hands. There was a guy named Graham there, and he worked on his for so long that I thought he must have been trying to re-arrange it's DNA to arrive at the design he wanted, but he was having fun, which was all that mattered.
The weekend started catching up with me though. I've been a sociable good boy all weekend, and that just takes it out of me. I felt all bloated up with the mountains of indulgent food I had eaten the last couple of days; and the party food, while lovely, really wasn't helping with that. I was drinking alcohol too, and it was really dragging me down. But I finished my pumpkin and hung out for a while, and eventually we went down to Jeff and James's apartment with Amanda for some quality time there. Parties up there always seem to end up floating back and forth between the houses after a while. When we got back I felt much better, but after what seemed like a very short time, I had to leave. I have to work tomorrow, and I had to drive back to Greenville and unload the car before I could go to bed.
By the time I did all that, I pretty much just collapsed. But it was a really good day.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
A post in which I make a lovely find
Mother had reminded me last night that there was a flea market near Wilkesboro, which I have been to before, but it has been years and years ago. I got rough directions, and, since Granny sleeps late anyway, I slipped off this morning for a little adventure.
I found the flea market with little effort, but it was pretty small. Not to be dissuaded, I went on in to have a rummage. My glass sense was just going crazy. I just knew there had to be some glass around here. Mountain people keep everything. There was no one in the yard sale section, which was very disappointing. But it was overcast and kind of looked like rain.
I went back inside to see what I could see, and after a discouraging start, I hit the motherload. I came up to the booth of a woman who had apparently bought every piece of glass in the county for the last 20 years. Tons of glass, arranged by pattern, and piled haphazardly in dusty stacks. She also had an amazing assembly of Blue Ridge Pottery; easily the most I have ever seen at one time. But then it was made right around here, so it would figure there would be more here than most places. She must have had every piece she had ever put in the booth, and I discovered why in short order. The price stickers were so old that I could barely read them. Some of the pen marks had faded out completely, which was probably a mercy. From the prices I could read they were shockingly high, mostly at full old book prices or generously above. I looked through some of it, as the woman watched me, breathing noisily (she apparently was suffering from emphysema). Eventually, though, I had to concede defeat as far as finding a bargain. I was very disappointed. She had some lovely pieces, but she didn't seem too keen to sell them from the prices she was asking.
I was about to head home when I saw a small sign for another flea market. I pulled a quick u-turn and headed to check it out. This flea market was actually just two buildings. It was pretty junky looking from the outside, and frankly didn't look very promising, but sometimes those junky places are where you make the best finds. So I went in for a rummage.
Once again, I was really surprised by the prices. There was a good deal of black amethyst glass, but I don't know enough about the pricing to buy it, and it was pretty high. I was struck again by the plethora of a pattern called "Fruits". I don't usually see anything but cups and saucers, and then one pair at a time generally, but there was a bunch of it here. There had been at the first place as well. I don't care for the pattern, but it's always interesting to see something unusual, particularly in numbers. The front building was really more of an antique store. I went out to the rear building, which was a lot more jumbled and promising. Well it was junky anyway, but the prices were almost as aggressive as the first building on the few pieces I found. I was pretty much ready to go, and disappointed, but sometimes the price of good glass finds is constant vigilance.
I decided to hit the last table before I left. And then I saw something that made my heart speed up. It was the distinctive pattern of Beaded Block. I love Beaded Block, but I rarely see any of it, and when I do it's usually the ubiquitous cream and sugar. I have one clear bowl in it that I bought years ago, but I have yet to see but one colored piece, and I'm still kicking myself for not buying it. It was a lovely green stemmed jelly I saw years ago in Hendersonville... But I digress. This was a pair of bowls, casually stacked on a table, in iridescent clam broth. Clam broth is a rare color, but not usually very pricey because it isn't that pretty really (when compared to pink, green, and cobalt anyway); but in the iridescent, in this gorgeous pattern, it was lovely. It was also marked as if the woman didn't know what it was - both bowls for $10. I literally said "Oh My God." under my breath when I saw them. I looked them over, and they seemed to be in good shape. These bowls have "nappy" edges, or little teeth that run all around. They are devilishly easy to chip, but these felt good (fingers are generally much better at finding chips than eyes), except for one tiny rough spot. The iridescent finish, which damages easily, appeared to be in great shape (except for a sticky label in the bottom of one of the bowls - grrrrr). I usually don't buy iridescent pieces because the finish is fussy, and sunlight fades it. When you use them, you can't wash them with dish-washing detergent either. But these were really pretty and exceptional. I confirmed with the woman that both bowls were $10 and paid her. I was so excited when I went to wrap them (she let me wrap them myself, which suited me just fine) I almost dropped one.
On the way home, the afterglow was so good I just had to have a cigarette. I threw Ethel Merman in the stereo and had myself a little celebration. The clouds had blown off, and it was a gorgeous fall morning. The leaves were changing, the air was crisp, the sun was shining and all was right with the world.
I was still glowing with triumph when Mom, examining the bowls, said "This one has a chip. Oh, so does this one." And sure enough, my prizes both had big chunks out - not of the tiny teeth at the top, where you would expect, but at the base. I couldn't believe I missed that - what a rookie mistake! I had just been so excited. But since both bowls are book priced at $35 each, they are still probably worth at least $15 each, with the price drop, and allowing for the chips. Plus they are really beautiful, unusual pieces, and if you're using them, chips at the base aren't really noticeable. So I was still pretty stoked about the find.
I put the bowls in just water to soak the (grrrrr) sticker off and clear off some of the dust. We fixed breakfast and had a leisurely meal, having coffee and talking. I love breakfast; and breakfast at Granny's is always late and sociable. Afterwards I talked Granny onto sitting out on the porch for a while. They have a great wrap-around porch on two sides of the house. It's an old house, and the porch is nice and deep, with plenty of comfy rockers. The day was beautiful and unexpectedly warm. We had a nice porch sit, and Granny caught me up on all the neighbors.
By the time we got back and got everything unloaded it was time to start supper. Mother put a chicken on to cook and made chicken and dumplings for granny. I cooked the broccoli and whipped up some cheese sauce and we had a nice late meal. After cleaning up the kitchen we had a good long talk, and then coffee and pie. We watched the 11pm news. But by midnight, Mother and I were both fading, and we decided to turn in.
I found the flea market with little effort, but it was pretty small. Not to be dissuaded, I went on in to have a rummage. My glass sense was just going crazy. I just knew there had to be some glass around here. Mountain people keep everything. There was no one in the yard sale section, which was very disappointing. But it was overcast and kind of looked like rain.
I went back inside to see what I could see, and after a discouraging start, I hit the motherload. I came up to the booth of a woman who had apparently bought every piece of glass in the county for the last 20 years. Tons of glass, arranged by pattern, and piled haphazardly in dusty stacks. She also had an amazing assembly of Blue Ridge Pottery; easily the most I have ever seen at one time. But then it was made right around here, so it would figure there would be more here than most places. She must have had every piece she had ever put in the booth, and I discovered why in short order. The price stickers were so old that I could barely read them. Some of the pen marks had faded out completely, which was probably a mercy. From the prices I could read they were shockingly high, mostly at full old book prices or generously above. I looked through some of it, as the woman watched me, breathing noisily (she apparently was suffering from emphysema). Eventually, though, I had to concede defeat as far as finding a bargain. I was very disappointed. She had some lovely pieces, but she didn't seem too keen to sell them from the prices she was asking.
I was about to head home when I saw a small sign for another flea market. I pulled a quick u-turn and headed to check it out. This flea market was actually just two buildings. It was pretty junky looking from the outside, and frankly didn't look very promising, but sometimes those junky places are where you make the best finds. So I went in for a rummage.
Once again, I was really surprised by the prices. There was a good deal of black amethyst glass, but I don't know enough about the pricing to buy it, and it was pretty high. I was struck again by the plethora of a pattern called "Fruits". I don't usually see anything but cups and saucers, and then one pair at a time generally, but there was a bunch of it here. There had been at the first place as well. I don't care for the pattern, but it's always interesting to see something unusual, particularly in numbers. The front building was really more of an antique store. I went out to the rear building, which was a lot more jumbled and promising. Well it was junky anyway, but the prices were almost as aggressive as the first building on the few pieces I found. I was pretty much ready to go, and disappointed, but sometimes the price of good glass finds is constant vigilance.
I decided to hit the last table before I left. And then I saw something that made my heart speed up. It was the distinctive pattern of Beaded Block. I love Beaded Block, but I rarely see any of it, and when I do it's usually the ubiquitous cream and sugar. I have one clear bowl in it that I bought years ago, but I have yet to see but one colored piece, and I'm still kicking myself for not buying it. It was a lovely green stemmed jelly I saw years ago in Hendersonville... But I digress. This was a pair of bowls, casually stacked on a table, in iridescent clam broth. Clam broth is a rare color, but not usually very pricey because it isn't that pretty really (when compared to pink, green, and cobalt anyway); but in the iridescent, in this gorgeous pattern, it was lovely. It was also marked as if the woman didn't know what it was - both bowls for $10. I literally said "Oh My God." under my breath when I saw them. I looked them over, and they seemed to be in good shape. These bowls have "nappy" edges, or little teeth that run all around. They are devilishly easy to chip, but these felt good (fingers are generally much better at finding chips than eyes), except for one tiny rough spot. The iridescent finish, which damages easily, appeared to be in great shape (except for a sticky label in the bottom of one of the bowls - grrrrr). I usually don't buy iridescent pieces because the finish is fussy, and sunlight fades it. When you use them, you can't wash them with dish-washing detergent either. But these were really pretty and exceptional. I confirmed with the woman that both bowls were $10 and paid her. I was so excited when I went to wrap them (she let me wrap them myself, which suited me just fine) I almost dropped one.
On the way home, the afterglow was so good I just had to have a cigarette. I threw Ethel Merman in the stereo and had myself a little celebration. The clouds had blown off, and it was a gorgeous fall morning. The leaves were changing, the air was crisp, the sun was shining and all was right with the world.
The view from my car on highway 421 during the return trip from the flea market. Even the highways are beautiful in the mountains at this time of year.
I got back to the house about 11am, and Granny was just up good. They hadn't even had breakfast yet. I hopped inside and pulled my finds out excitedly to show them off. While I was unwrapping, I commented to Granny about how surprised I had been by the pricing. "Honey," she said "those people are used to the tourists coming through here on the way to Boone. They'll pay anything." Of course. So much for my hopes of finding country people cleaning out grandma's attic. These people knew as much as (or more than) I do about antiques and the values thereof. Dammit. Instead of a real flea market, I had stumbled into what was basically a clip joint. I should have been clued in by the visibility from the highway. But the people had been really nice, and it had been an interesting trip.I was still glowing with triumph when Mom, examining the bowls, said "This one has a chip. Oh, so does this one." And sure enough, my prizes both had big chunks out - not of the tiny teeth at the top, where you would expect, but at the base. I couldn't believe I missed that - what a rookie mistake! I had just been so excited. But since both bowls are book priced at $35 each, they are still probably worth at least $15 each, with the price drop, and allowing for the chips. Plus they are really beautiful, unusual pieces, and if you're using them, chips at the base aren't really noticeable. So I was still pretty stoked about the find.
The view from Granny's porch, looking out over the mountains
I put the bowls in just water to soak the (grrrrr) sticker off and clear off some of the dust. We fixed breakfast and had a leisurely meal, having coffee and talking. I love breakfast; and breakfast at Granny's is always late and sociable. Afterwards I talked Granny onto sitting out on the porch for a while. They have a great wrap-around porch on two sides of the house. It's an old house, and the porch is nice and deep, with plenty of comfy rockers. The day was beautiful and unexpectedly warm. We had a nice porch sit, and Granny caught me up on all the neighbors.
Another view from Granny's porch, looking up the street of her neighborhood.
Eventually, it started getting a little cool, and we went on in the house for a bite of lunch. The Mother and I went on to the grocery store for Granny. We picked out stuff for dinner and bought the things on her list. We also went to another market to get some delicious white sweet potatoes. There weren't many but we were able to buy pretty much what we wanted. Mom and I are both crazy about them and they are hard to find, but up in the mountains they have them at the grocery store if you know where to look.By the time we got back and got everything unloaded it was time to start supper. Mother put a chicken on to cook and made chicken and dumplings for granny. I cooked the broccoli and whipped up some cheese sauce and we had a nice late meal. After cleaning up the kitchen we had a good long talk, and then coffee and pie. We watched the 11pm news. But by midnight, Mother and I were both fading, and we decided to turn in.
Friday, October 23, 2009
A post in which I have a lot to do
I was headed to Wilkesboro tonight, so I got up early and got to work. I got ready for work, finished packing, loaded the car, saw to the cats, and headed to the office. Since the light hadn’t gone on the rest of the way home last night, I was almost convinced not to take the car in, but I wanted to see how it did this morning, and give myself time to go to the dealership if I needed to. I ran it pretty hard this morning, but the Bomber didn’t protest. I decided not to take it in, and called the dealership. That simplified my day considerably.
It was pretty quiet again today. Bless out of town meetings.
As soon as work was over, I slid down the dinosaur tail into the car and headed for North Carolina just as fast as my little blue car would carry me. Fortunately the Bomber ran like a top all the way, and no lights came on that shouldn’t have been on. I got to Statesville in time to meet Mother and have dinner with her at the K&W before we went on up the mountain. Dinner on Friday night has become kind of a tradition for us when we go to Granny’s together. We can catch up on things we can’t talk about in front of Granny. She’s pretty hip for 91, but there are just some things that would upset her unnecessarily.
I’m listening to Lady Chatterley’s Lover on CD. It’s fairly scandalous already, and I can see how it would have been banned when it was finished in 1927. Her Ladyship was taking a physical inventory of her naked body in the looking-glass when I pulled up in front of Granny’s house. Hmmm. That was odd.
We got up there about 9:30, plenty of time for a visit with Granny. She has insomnia too, and usually sits up until late. By 1am, though, I was toast. I’ve been up since 5:30 this morning. I took a pill and collapsed in the bed.
It was pretty quiet again today. Bless out of town meetings.
As soon as work was over, I slid down the dinosaur tail into the car and headed for North Carolina just as fast as my little blue car would carry me. Fortunately the Bomber ran like a top all the way, and no lights came on that shouldn’t have been on. I got to Statesville in time to meet Mother and have dinner with her at the K&W before we went on up the mountain. Dinner on Friday night has become kind of a tradition for us when we go to Granny’s together. We can catch up on things we can’t talk about in front of Granny. She’s pretty hip for 91, but there are just some things that would upset her unnecessarily.
I’m listening to Lady Chatterley’s Lover on CD. It’s fairly scandalous already, and I can see how it would have been banned when it was finished in 1927. Her Ladyship was taking a physical inventory of her naked body in the looking-glass when I pulled up in front of Granny’s house. Hmmm. That was odd.
We got up there about 9:30, plenty of time for a visit with Granny. She has insomnia too, and usually sits up until late. By 1am, though, I was toast. I’ve been up since 5:30 this morning. I took a pill and collapsed in the bed.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A post in which I prepare for my trip
I was a good boy and got up early to go to the dildonic quarterly meeting even though my boss wasn't in town. Mercifully, it was only about 45 minutes long. Work was very quiet today. I went and had my back cracked - BIG cracks today. We had a vendor come in and give us free lunch, which was nice.
I'm reading In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan right now. This is the second of his books I've read, the first being The Omnivore's Dilemma. I am struck again by how common-sense and down to earth his writing is. He seems to be the sole voice of reason in the sea of extremism that is food writing right now.
Of course, for years Diet for a New America has been the standard (or at least required reading) for anyone serious about improving their health, or looking for answers about where their food comes from. But John Robbins, the author, is a bit 'crunchy' even for me. His a vegan, and writes with the fervor of an ideologue. He also begins Diet (unfortunately, IMHO) with a series of anecdotal stories about the virtues and nobility of animals, that while presumably true, are obviously chosen to make the reader see the animals featured (many of them animals stereotypically regarded more as food than as actual living things) in a noble and/or anthropomorphistic way. While I am in sympathy with his viewpoints, the way he expresses them immediately both exposes a lack of objectivity, and colors meat-eating as 'wrong'. As I have discovered personally, many people are extremely volatile about their decision to eat meat. Americans, in my experience, seem to feel an exaggerated entitlement to consume as many creatures as they wish. It takes almost nothing to make them at best dismissive, or at worst hostile, to any other viewpoint. Robbins's approach, I feel, almost immediately alienates the people who most need to read this type of book. Even I, who agree with most of what Robbins says, found the book to be a bit strained and preachy in places.
Pollan, on the other hand, is not a vegan or vegetarian (in Omnivore, he details a first hand account of hunting wild boar for a hunter/scavenger dinner). He does limit the meat in his diet, but explains that he does so based on research and common sense, which he sets forth in a very calm voice. He has (again, in Omnivore) gone into the workings of the industrial meat machine. He describes the atrocities therein, but again in a matter-of-fact an non-emotional way, leaving the reader to draw his own conclusions about the morality or implications of consuming the end product of such a system. Defense is more an exposure of the rise and workings of the industrial food system, why it is bad for us, and how to make better food choices; once again, from a voice of reason and fact. Omnivore was an entertaining book and an informative read. Defense seems to be more about answers to the problems Omnivore began exposing.
***
After work today, I went about doing the errands I had planned. In the midst of them, the 'check engine' light in the car came on. And stayed on. The engine started doing this weird thing where it quit pulling, then started again. The light has come on for a minute or two before, but this was the first time it has stayed on while I drove around. I was near the dealership anyway, so I stopped in; but of course they were all going home and wouldn't do anything tonight. I made an appointment to take the car in tomorrow, and mentally sighed over a) yet another car issue; and b) something else to do tomorrow, a day already pretty packed. And of course, shortly after that, the light went off and the car was fine all the way home. So now I don't know what to do. It wouldn't be a big issue if I weren't headed out of town tomorrow night straight from work. I'm supposed to meet Mom in Statesville for dinner, and if I have to go to the dealership after work I have to find a ride, plus it throws my schedule all off. But I don't want to get stranded either. Grrrr.
I just stayed in, ate stuff out of the fridge (mostly), and packed tonight. I had already done all the laundry, so it wasn't a big deal. Gold Diggers of 1933 was on TCM. That's one of my favorites. So I listened to it as I packed, and then went to bed with Ruby Keeler and Dick Powell on the tube. I particularly like Aline MacMahon in that movie. But then I'm a sucker for a wise-cracking comic relief dame.
I'm reading In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan right now. This is the second of his books I've read, the first being The Omnivore's Dilemma. I am struck again by how common-sense and down to earth his writing is. He seems to be the sole voice of reason in the sea of extremism that is food writing right now.
Of course, for years Diet for a New America has been the standard (or at least required reading) for anyone serious about improving their health, or looking for answers about where their food comes from. But John Robbins, the author, is a bit 'crunchy' even for me. His a vegan, and writes with the fervor of an ideologue. He also begins Diet (unfortunately, IMHO) with a series of anecdotal stories about the virtues and nobility of animals, that while presumably true, are obviously chosen to make the reader see the animals featured (many of them animals stereotypically regarded more as food than as actual living things) in a noble and/or anthropomorphistic way. While I am in sympathy with his viewpoints, the way he expresses them immediately both exposes a lack of objectivity, and colors meat-eating as 'wrong'. As I have discovered personally, many people are extremely volatile about their decision to eat meat. Americans, in my experience, seem to feel an exaggerated entitlement to consume as many creatures as they wish. It takes almost nothing to make them at best dismissive, or at worst hostile, to any other viewpoint. Robbins's approach, I feel, almost immediately alienates the people who most need to read this type of book. Even I, who agree with most of what Robbins says, found the book to be a bit strained and preachy in places.
Pollan, on the other hand, is not a vegan or vegetarian (in Omnivore, he details a first hand account of hunting wild boar for a hunter/scavenger dinner). He does limit the meat in his diet, but explains that he does so based on research and common sense, which he sets forth in a very calm voice. He has (again, in Omnivore) gone into the workings of the industrial meat machine. He describes the atrocities therein, but again in a matter-of-fact an non-emotional way, leaving the reader to draw his own conclusions about the morality or implications of consuming the end product of such a system. Defense is more an exposure of the rise and workings of the industrial food system, why it is bad for us, and how to make better food choices; once again, from a voice of reason and fact. Omnivore was an entertaining book and an informative read. Defense seems to be more about answers to the problems Omnivore began exposing.
***
After work today, I went about doing the errands I had planned. In the midst of them, the 'check engine' light in the car came on. And stayed on. The engine started doing this weird thing where it quit pulling, then started again. The light has come on for a minute or two before, but this was the first time it has stayed on while I drove around. I was near the dealership anyway, so I stopped in; but of course they were all going home and wouldn't do anything tonight. I made an appointment to take the car in tomorrow, and mentally sighed over a) yet another car issue; and b) something else to do tomorrow, a day already pretty packed. And of course, shortly after that, the light went off and the car was fine all the way home. So now I don't know what to do. It wouldn't be a big issue if I weren't headed out of town tomorrow night straight from work. I'm supposed to meet Mom in Statesville for dinner, and if I have to go to the dealership after work I have to find a ride, plus it throws my schedule all off. But I don't want to get stranded either. Grrrr.
I just stayed in, ate stuff out of the fridge (mostly), and packed tonight. I had already done all the laundry, so it wasn't a big deal. Gold Diggers of 1933 was on TCM. That's one of my favorites. So I listened to it as I packed, and then went to bed with Ruby Keeler and Dick Powell on the tube. I particularly like Aline MacMahon in that movie. But then I'm a sucker for a wise-cracking comic relief dame.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
A post in which I have apparently been a drama queen all day
I was all het up about the fact that M was supposed to come get his stuff tonight.
He emailed me this morning, asking if I could meet him across town from the house. I just said "No." (Nancy Reagan would have been proud.) I could have if he'd given me some advance warning, but to agree now would mean I had to go all the way home and come all the way back, almost to work, in rush hour traffic. Then I started thinking that Glen had probably advised him not to come to the house, and that he was listening. I thought he's acting like he's afraid of me. I found the thought very depressing.
Following closely on that thought was well I guess we're not ending up in bed tonight. Then I was mostly just frustrated, but partly pissed off, that the toad-id had taken the forefront of my brain to express such a thought. Lordamercy, I just can't believe the things I think sometimes. Apparently men are just sex-stupid to the end. Then I started thinking, what if something had happened? What if he alleged that I raped him or something? I mean, obviously I never knew this guy at all. So I gave myself a stern mental reprimand.
So he emailed back that he would come to the house after all, and I was ridiculously relieved. Enough to give myself another reprimand.
I finished up the rest of the day at work - fortunately busy - and headed on home. dana came by for a minute, and I told her what was going on. On the one hand, I felt kind of like an ass carrying on so - it's been four fucking months since this was ended, after all; but on the other hand I was nervous about seeing him again, and what would happen.
I felt like a big cry-baby. I felt glad that this was close to being all over, and then I felt conflicted about it being finally all over. And I was pissed off at myself for having so much emotion still invested in this dead end. I decided I was not dressing up for him, so I put on my sweats. But the t-shirt I've been wearing at home this week is a big ole eatin' dress mumu thing, and I decided I wasn't having him see me in that. I got out a smaller t-shirt, put it on, and then noticed it had a spot on it. But damned if I was going to be changing clothes like an insecure teen-ager. I left it on. I also decided I was not going to clean house for him. But the coffee table looked really bad, and I wasn't going to have him see me living in squalor. So I dusted the coffee table. But nothing else.
So then I sat down to wait. And 7pm came and went. And I figured he was going to no-show again after all that. I went on in the kitchen to start making supper. I was about half-way into it when he knocked on the door.
And you know what? I was upset about a big ole nothing. I didn't feel anything when I when I saw him. Thank God. So I invited him in, basically to see if he would come in. And he did. He gave me my keys back, and we awkwardly tried to make small talk. He was waiting for a scene or something I guess, but I wasn't about to have one, even if I had felt something. When he realized I wasn't going to scream at him or whatever, he relaxed and we talked about nothing. I told him about the Halloween costume thing with Russ, and my decision process on how to make a comfortable Snoopy costume. My philosophy of costumes is that they shouldn't interfere with my having a cigarette or a drink, and shouldn't be uncomfortable. He started telling me about an elaborate Halloween costume he's planning, and how he's going to spend four hours coating his torso with liquid latex, etc etc. And I'm sitting there thinking, of course you are - because the reason you go to a party is to be the center of attention, not to have a good time. But I didn't say it. I just said "Well, our priorities in going to a party are different."
And even as I'm sitting there, I'm thinking what in the world did you ever see in this vain, vapid guy? How could you be so distracted by a pretty face and a trick pelvis? Apparently it's just like Joan Rivers says. Part of is that I'm so hungry for someone to care about, I know. But I'm confronted, yet again, with the fact that I am more a typical guy than I really like to think I am. And while I'm confronting my own shallowness, I guess I should remark that my objectivity was helped by the fact that he now has (again) icky yellow porno-hair. I had seen pics of him with bleached out hair when we dated, and didn't like them. It wasn't any more flattering in real life.
I later reflected that what I have always believed about gym rats is true. Someone who spends all that time working on a pretty outside to show off has to be neglecting substance on the inside to a certain extent. I guess these thoughts are pretty petty, and I'll admit there is probably a sour grapes element going on as well. I'm still conflicted. Part of me is relieved that seeing him again tonight didn't bother me; and part of me is pretty discouraged by the fact that the most significant relationship I've had in the last three years has been shown to have so little substance. But since I have resigned myself again to just being single at this point, I guess that part doesn't matter so much as it might.
He emailed me this morning, asking if I could meet him across town from the house. I just said "No." (Nancy Reagan would have been proud.) I could have if he'd given me some advance warning, but to agree now would mean I had to go all the way home and come all the way back, almost to work, in rush hour traffic. Then I started thinking that Glen had probably advised him not to come to the house, and that he was listening. I thought he's acting like he's afraid of me. I found the thought very depressing.
Following closely on that thought was well I guess we're not ending up in bed tonight. Then I was mostly just frustrated, but partly pissed off, that the toad-id had taken the forefront of my brain to express such a thought. Lordamercy, I just can't believe the things I think sometimes. Apparently men are just sex-stupid to the end. Then I started thinking, what if something had happened? What if he alleged that I raped him or something? I mean, obviously I never knew this guy at all. So I gave myself a stern mental reprimand.
So he emailed back that he would come to the house after all, and I was ridiculously relieved. Enough to give myself another reprimand.
I finished up the rest of the day at work - fortunately busy - and headed on home. dana came by for a minute, and I told her what was going on. On the one hand, I felt kind of like an ass carrying on so - it's been four fucking months since this was ended, after all; but on the other hand I was nervous about seeing him again, and what would happen.
I felt like a big cry-baby. I felt glad that this was close to being all over, and then I felt conflicted about it being finally all over. And I was pissed off at myself for having so much emotion still invested in this dead end. I decided I was not dressing up for him, so I put on my sweats. But the t-shirt I've been wearing at home this week is a big ole eatin' dress mumu thing, and I decided I wasn't having him see me in that. I got out a smaller t-shirt, put it on, and then noticed it had a spot on it. But damned if I was going to be changing clothes like an insecure teen-ager. I left it on. I also decided I was not going to clean house for him. But the coffee table looked really bad, and I wasn't going to have him see me living in squalor. So I dusted the coffee table. But nothing else.
So then I sat down to wait. And 7pm came and went. And I figured he was going to no-show again after all that. I went on in the kitchen to start making supper. I was about half-way into it when he knocked on the door.
And you know what? I was upset about a big ole nothing. I didn't feel anything when I when I saw him. Thank God. So I invited him in, basically to see if he would come in. And he did. He gave me my keys back, and we awkwardly tried to make small talk. He was waiting for a scene or something I guess, but I wasn't about to have one, even if I had felt something. When he realized I wasn't going to scream at him or whatever, he relaxed and we talked about nothing. I told him about the Halloween costume thing with Russ, and my decision process on how to make a comfortable Snoopy costume. My philosophy of costumes is that they shouldn't interfere with my having a cigarette or a drink, and shouldn't be uncomfortable. He started telling me about an elaborate Halloween costume he's planning, and how he's going to spend four hours coating his torso with liquid latex, etc etc. And I'm sitting there thinking, of course you are - because the reason you go to a party is to be the center of attention, not to have a good time. But I didn't say it. I just said "Well, our priorities in going to a party are different."
And even as I'm sitting there, I'm thinking what in the world did you ever see in this vain, vapid guy? How could you be so distracted by a pretty face and a trick pelvis? Apparently it's just like Joan Rivers says. Part of is that I'm so hungry for someone to care about, I know. But I'm confronted, yet again, with the fact that I am more a typical guy than I really like to think I am. And while I'm confronting my own shallowness, I guess I should remark that my objectivity was helped by the fact that he now has (again) icky yellow porno-hair. I had seen pics of him with bleached out hair when we dated, and didn't like them. It wasn't any more flattering in real life.
I later reflected that what I have always believed about gym rats is true. Someone who spends all that time working on a pretty outside to show off has to be neglecting substance on the inside to a certain extent. I guess these thoughts are pretty petty, and I'll admit there is probably a sour grapes element going on as well. I'm still conflicted. Part of me is relieved that seeing him again tonight didn't bother me; and part of me is pretty discouraged by the fact that the most significant relationship I've had in the last three years has been shown to have so little substance. But since I have resigned myself again to just being single at this point, I guess that part doesn't matter so much as it might.
Review: Hibachi Grill & Buffet*
1255 Woodruff Rd
Greenville, SC 29607
Cost: $11.64 for buffet and tea
Greenville Online was much kinder to this restaurant than I am going to be. It is true that they have a 200-item buffet. That does little good when everything I tried was at best mediocre, and at worst NASTY.
I do like the fact that they used an old Ryan's building that has been sitting empty. It's good to have new businesses in town, and to have that vacancy filled right in the middle of Woodruff Road is a good thing, which is why I suppose Greenville Online was inclined to be charitable. Either that or they didn't actually eat there.
I expected an inexpensive retro-fit, but they have done a really nice job of remodelling. I didn't feel like I was in an old Ryan's when I walked in. The entrance foyer is fairly impressive, and you can tell that they spent some money on this place. The restrooms have been completely re-modelled also. I had to rinse some spit-up out of a sink when I went in there to wash my hands, but it was otherwise very nice. I cut them some slack for that because it was height of the dinner rush. The decor is pretty classy for a Chinese buffet. Kinda gaudy, but I wasn't exactly expecting the Renaissance, ya know?
I am not really a food snob. If I find good food anywhere, I will eat it; if it comes on a china plate or in a paper cone. I also enjoy Chinese buffet, which is kind of a genre of it's own. Sometimes things aren't at their best after they sit for a while, and so I understand the unique challenge of keeping food costs down by putting out things that will last sitting on a steam table for a while. The fact remains that other restaurants seem to have met this challenge much better than Hibachi has.
First, a Hibachi is a small Japanese heating device, but is usually used in American parlance to refer to a cooking grill. I didn't see a single grilled item on the buffet, so I guess they were referring to the Mongolian Grill prominently placed at the front of the restaurant. I don't care for Mongolian Grill (if I could season my own Mongolian food, I would do so at home and just eat there), but Russ and Billy are great fans of it. They said the Mongolian Grill here wasn't very good. I didn't try it. Incidentally, R&B had already warned me off of this place, but there have been big crowds there and I was curious. I wish I had listened to R&B.
Everything I ate tonight tasted, well, kind of off. Like it just wasn't right. Like a minor adjustment in seasoning or cooking time would have made it exponentially better.
I had fried shrimp that were a bit mushy, and I'm not sure how they did that. I'm thinking now that it had to be some kind of shrimp mush (chopped salad shrimp? leftover shrimp from other dishes?) molded around an actual shrimp tail, then breaded and fried to disguise it. They do this with "crab claws" on some buffets.
The spring rolls had enough 5-spice powder in them that they tasted just a bit like household cleaner.
Although it was the height of the dinner rush, the baked artificial crab I had was dried out and a bit too chewy. It didn't have much flavor.
I also tried a dish called "buttered triple delight" or something like that. It looked to be a seafood medley. There are two types of fake crab. One is made from fish (generally Alaskan Pollock, if you're curious), and actually has a crab-like texture (that was what was baked above). The other is a gelatinous potato-based product that has a pretty nasty mouth-feel. Two of the three "delights" in this dish were this gelatinous potato product, just cut differently. The third was shrimp that was fine, but not exceptional. The sauce was fairly tasteless and very greasy (apparently just melted margarine). The fake crab in this was bad enough that I picked it out and didn't eat it, and I generally don't pick through my food.
The "Hibachi Shrimp" I presume was a house dish, since it hadn't been anywhere near a grill. The sauce on that made it the tastiest thing I had there, but it was so greasy I couldn't eat that much of it.
I tried a "treasure shrimp", which was apparently stuffed with a pork mixture. It was very greasy, and fairly nasty-tasting to boot. I was glad I only got one. I wouldn't have eaten a second, and I don't like to waste food.
The "black pepper shrimp" was presumably supposed to be like salt and pepper shrimp, which I really like, but it didn't really taste of salt or pepper. It didn't have much flavor at all.
The worst thing I had was a little stuffed crab shell. Now I enjoy the ones that have all that stuffing and spices in them. They have a good flavor, if light on the crab. This was something else entirely. The shell was very small, and seemed to be stuffed with stale greasy crumbs of some kind. I didn't find any crab, real or artificial. And then the taste hit me - it was sweet. Ugh. That was the last straw. I only ate one bite of the one I put on my plate, and although frankly very little goes in my mouth that comes back out again, that one bite was a close call. I wonder now if they used stale leftover cookies for the crumbs, because they were egg-yolk yellow, like the almond cookies. Whatever it was it was GROSS.
The cream cheese wantons (or crab rangoons, or whatever you call them, they seem to have a myriad of names) were done in very thin, like phyllo dough wrappers. That I would have enjoyed (a lot of places skimp on the filling, and you end up chewing your way through a too-long-ago-fried chewy wanton wrapper), but they had actually been over-stuffed. You ended up with a large glob of cream cheese kind of gummed up in your mouth. They would actually have been better if they had been smaller.
The cheese sticks had been deep-fried and were very greasy, as if they had been double-dipped in the hot oil when they got cold the first time. They were also very salty, and I'm not sure why. When you bit into them, it was like little oil pockets under the crust flooded your mouth with excess oil. Not pleasant.
After all that, I was pretty full, and with the quality of the food I was frankly leery of trying the sushi at all.
The desserts were the usual pre-packaged Chinese fare, and weren't stale or anything, but there was nothing there you couldn't get at a better buffet.
In short, I would never go here again, and would recommend that you don't either. For the exact same price, you can go right down the street to Ni Hao. It's across from The Shops at Greenridge in the old Bob Evans building. The food there is at least three times as good. You have been warned.
Greenville, SC 29607
Cost: $11.64 for buffet and tea
Greenville Online was much kinder to this restaurant than I am going to be. It is true that they have a 200-item buffet. That does little good when everything I tried was at best mediocre, and at worst NASTY.
I do like the fact that they used an old Ryan's building that has been sitting empty. It's good to have new businesses in town, and to have that vacancy filled right in the middle of Woodruff Road is a good thing, which is why I suppose Greenville Online was inclined to be charitable. Either that or they didn't actually eat there.
I expected an inexpensive retro-fit, but they have done a really nice job of remodelling. I didn't feel like I was in an old Ryan's when I walked in. The entrance foyer is fairly impressive, and you can tell that they spent some money on this place. The restrooms have been completely re-modelled also. I had to rinse some spit-up out of a sink when I went in there to wash my hands, but it was otherwise very nice. I cut them some slack for that because it was height of the dinner rush. The decor is pretty classy for a Chinese buffet. Kinda gaudy, but I wasn't exactly expecting the Renaissance, ya know?
I am not really a food snob. If I find good food anywhere, I will eat it; if it comes on a china plate or in a paper cone. I also enjoy Chinese buffet, which is kind of a genre of it's own. Sometimes things aren't at their best after they sit for a while, and so I understand the unique challenge of keeping food costs down by putting out things that will last sitting on a steam table for a while. The fact remains that other restaurants seem to have met this challenge much better than Hibachi has.
First, a Hibachi is a small Japanese heating device, but is usually used in American parlance to refer to a cooking grill. I didn't see a single grilled item on the buffet, so I guess they were referring to the Mongolian Grill prominently placed at the front of the restaurant. I don't care for Mongolian Grill (if I could season my own Mongolian food, I would do so at home and just eat there), but Russ and Billy are great fans of it. They said the Mongolian Grill here wasn't very good. I didn't try it. Incidentally, R&B had already warned me off of this place, but there have been big crowds there and I was curious. I wish I had listened to R&B.
Everything I ate tonight tasted, well, kind of off. Like it just wasn't right. Like a minor adjustment in seasoning or cooking time would have made it exponentially better.
I had fried shrimp that were a bit mushy, and I'm not sure how they did that. I'm thinking now that it had to be some kind of shrimp mush (chopped salad shrimp? leftover shrimp from other dishes?) molded around an actual shrimp tail, then breaded and fried to disguise it. They do this with "crab claws" on some buffets.
The spring rolls had enough 5-spice powder in them that they tasted just a bit like household cleaner.
Although it was the height of the dinner rush, the baked artificial crab I had was dried out and a bit too chewy. It didn't have much flavor.
I also tried a dish called "buttered triple delight" or something like that. It looked to be a seafood medley. There are two types of fake crab. One is made from fish (generally Alaskan Pollock, if you're curious), and actually has a crab-like texture (that was what was baked above). The other is a gelatinous potato-based product that has a pretty nasty mouth-feel. Two of the three "delights" in this dish were this gelatinous potato product, just cut differently. The third was shrimp that was fine, but not exceptional. The sauce was fairly tasteless and very greasy (apparently just melted margarine). The fake crab in this was bad enough that I picked it out and didn't eat it, and I generally don't pick through my food.
The "Hibachi Shrimp" I presume was a house dish, since it hadn't been anywhere near a grill. The sauce on that made it the tastiest thing I had there, but it was so greasy I couldn't eat that much of it.
I tried a "treasure shrimp", which was apparently stuffed with a pork mixture. It was very greasy, and fairly nasty-tasting to boot. I was glad I only got one. I wouldn't have eaten a second, and I don't like to waste food.
The "black pepper shrimp" was presumably supposed to be like salt and pepper shrimp, which I really like, but it didn't really taste of salt or pepper. It didn't have much flavor at all.
The worst thing I had was a little stuffed crab shell. Now I enjoy the ones that have all that stuffing and spices in them. They have a good flavor, if light on the crab. This was something else entirely. The shell was very small, and seemed to be stuffed with stale greasy crumbs of some kind. I didn't find any crab, real or artificial. And then the taste hit me - it was sweet. Ugh. That was the last straw. I only ate one bite of the one I put on my plate, and although frankly very little goes in my mouth that comes back out again, that one bite was a close call. I wonder now if they used stale leftover cookies for the crumbs, because they were egg-yolk yellow, like the almond cookies. Whatever it was it was GROSS.
The cream cheese wantons (or crab rangoons, or whatever you call them, they seem to have a myriad of names) were done in very thin, like phyllo dough wrappers. That I would have enjoyed (a lot of places skimp on the filling, and you end up chewing your way through a too-long-ago-fried chewy wanton wrapper), but they had actually been over-stuffed. You ended up with a large glob of cream cheese kind of gummed up in your mouth. They would actually have been better if they had been smaller.
The cheese sticks had been deep-fried and were very greasy, as if they had been double-dipped in the hot oil when they got cold the first time. They were also very salty, and I'm not sure why. When you bit into them, it was like little oil pockets under the crust flooded your mouth with excess oil. Not pleasant.
After all that, I was pretty full, and with the quality of the food I was frankly leery of trying the sushi at all.
The desserts were the usual pre-packaged Chinese fare, and weren't stale or anything, but there was nothing there you couldn't get at a better buffet.
In short, I would never go here again, and would recommend that you don't either. For the exact same price, you can go right down the street to Ni Hao. It's across from The Shops at Greenridge in the old Bob Evans building. The food there is at least three times as good. You have been warned.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A post in which I am very busy*
I had a visit from my morning buddy today, which I enjoyed far more than I expected to given my current state of mind. I'm conflicted about him. On the one hand, I'm spinning my wheels there; it's never going to amount to anything. On the other hand, he's really hot.
Fortunately, I suppose, I didn't have much time for brooding today. I was very busy dealing with irate customers, and trying to complete the now 18 additional write-offs my boss has assigned for this month. I actually got all the big ones done and signed, with the exception of one that went to Canada. I'm sure that will be an uphill battle, as always, but I got a lot done today. I was called Racist Pig by a client today because I didn't give him what he wanted. I've been called a racist before, but this was the first time the porcine qualifier has been added, which was a novelty.
My phone rang at 5:30pm today. My counterpart in Canada was calling to say hi. The weekly meeting tomorrow has been scheduled hella early (as they have through the end of the year - *sigh*), and she was calling to commiserate. She did get her stuff in for this week today, same day turn-around (which was a miracle in itself) and for which I heaped praise and blessings upon both herself and her ancestors. After that we visited and caught up for a while. Having a good relationship with her makes my job easier in several ways and is well worth the investment of time; plus I like her.
I finally got out of the office to discover that Pelham Hell was backed up in both directions. Someone must have had an accident on the highway. Pelham Road is handling about three times the traffic it was designed for already, so if anything goes wrong, it backs up immediately, as does every road within a 4-mile radius. So I sat for 30minutes for the three miles it took to get over to Woodruff Road. I would have stopped and just eaten supper, but I had finished my book at lunch today. Eating by myself in a restaurant without a book depresses me - even if I haven't just talked to the man who broke my heart the day before. I stopped off at the Goodwill, once I got that far, and picked up a book for a buck (a copy of Tom Brokaw's The Greatest Generation, which I have been meaning to read anyway). I decided after sitting in traffic all that time I would have supper before I went home. Tomorrow night M is supposed to come and get the last of his stuff, and I don't figure I'll feel like going anywhere after he leaves. Thursday night I'll be packing and getting ready to go to North Carolina, and I'm leaving directly from work on Friday; so if I was going out to eat, tonight would be the night to do it.
Since I was up on Woodruff Road anyway, I decided to eat some Chinese buffet. I've eaten so much Mexican food lately that I'm burned out on it - even nachos, amazingly. I usually go to Ni Hao, which I love, but there is a huge new one over in the old Ryan's building near Wal-Mart. Russ and Billy had already been and told me not to bother, but I was curious. The food that wasn't mediocre was nasty. I was very disappointed. It was OK, and I did eat, but I won't go again.
When I got home I put in a load of jeans so I could was the new Magic Jeans. I may not wear them this weekend, but I'd like to have the option. I have Justin's pumpkin carving party on Sunday.
I didn't feel great today, so I went on to bed early. I'm supposed to go to Granny's house this weekend, and since the office has been pestilence-ridden for the last two weeks I want to be sure that if anything's starting I throw it off. I don't want to miss the trip, or worse, take something up to Granny.
Fortunately, I suppose, I didn't have much time for brooding today. I was very busy dealing with irate customers, and trying to complete the now 18 additional write-offs my boss has assigned for this month. I actually got all the big ones done and signed, with the exception of one that went to Canada. I'm sure that will be an uphill battle, as always, but I got a lot done today. I was called Racist Pig by a client today because I didn't give him what he wanted. I've been called a racist before, but this was the first time the porcine qualifier has been added, which was a novelty.
My phone rang at 5:30pm today. My counterpart in Canada was calling to say hi. The weekly meeting tomorrow has been scheduled hella early (as they have through the end of the year - *sigh*), and she was calling to commiserate. She did get her stuff in for this week today, same day turn-around (which was a miracle in itself) and for which I heaped praise and blessings upon both herself and her ancestors. After that we visited and caught up for a while. Having a good relationship with her makes my job easier in several ways and is well worth the investment of time; plus I like her.
I finally got out of the office to discover that Pelham Hell was backed up in both directions. Someone must have had an accident on the highway. Pelham Road is handling about three times the traffic it was designed for already, so if anything goes wrong, it backs up immediately, as does every road within a 4-mile radius. So I sat for 30minutes for the three miles it took to get over to Woodruff Road. I would have stopped and just eaten supper, but I had finished my book at lunch today. Eating by myself in a restaurant without a book depresses me - even if I haven't just talked to the man who broke my heart the day before. I stopped off at the Goodwill, once I got that far, and picked up a book for a buck (a copy of Tom Brokaw's The Greatest Generation, which I have been meaning to read anyway). I decided after sitting in traffic all that time I would have supper before I went home. Tomorrow night M is supposed to come and get the last of his stuff, and I don't figure I'll feel like going anywhere after he leaves. Thursday night I'll be packing and getting ready to go to North Carolina, and I'm leaving directly from work on Friday; so if I was going out to eat, tonight would be the night to do it.
Since I was up on Woodruff Road anyway, I decided to eat some Chinese buffet. I've eaten so much Mexican food lately that I'm burned out on it - even nachos, amazingly. I usually go to Ni Hao, which I love, but there is a huge new one over in the old Ryan's building near Wal-Mart. Russ and Billy had already been and told me not to bother, but I was curious. The food that wasn't mediocre was nasty. I was very disappointed. It was OK, and I did eat, but I won't go again.
When I got home I put in a load of jeans so I could was the new Magic Jeans. I may not wear them this weekend, but I'd like to have the option. I have Justin's pumpkin carving party on Sunday.
I didn't feel great today, so I went on to bed early. I'm supposed to go to Granny's house this weekend, and since the office has been pestilence-ridden for the last two weeks I want to be sure that if anything's starting I throw it off. I don't want to miss the trip, or worse, take something up to Granny.
Monday, October 19, 2009
A post in which I'm going through baggage
that I thought I had left at the Goodwill long ago, but which has reared it's ugly head like a rotting fish in the cluttered fridge of my psyche today.
For some reason, I can't lay down the Glen thing from last Thursday. I know I should. I know it would be far more advisable than pursuing it. And I'm acting like Dad, which frankly is freaking me the fuck out.
I emailed M today to try to find out what he had told Glen about our break-up. I know that M is very good at playing the victim and is the recipient of a largess of sympathy pretty much whatever he does. He made at least one of his exes feel extremely sorry for him, which also worked with me. One of his co-workers has related such awful stories about the way his family treats him to her mother that the woman regularly sends baked goods to work to him, this poor motherless boy. His roommate's ruff goes up like a protective pit bull around any new guy he dates, since she has repeatedly heard about how badly he has been treated by the men he has dated. So it really isn't terribly far-fetched to think it possible that a tale had been spun about how I was yet another guy who had Done Him Wrong.
I was kind of surprised to actually receive a response. In which he told me that he "couldn't remember" what he had told Glen about our break-up (which set off the big LIE alarm in my head), but that his attitude towards me was just a result of how "caring and protective" Glen was towards M. Frankly, it sounded like a Scooter Libby answer. He should have been able to remember what he told Glen, and the truth wouldn't have given Glen any reason to feel "protective" about Gavin around me. What's threatening about the fact that he dumped me like yesterday's garbage?
I'm worried partially because things get around. If he's told Glen that I was mean to him, or that he's afraid of me, that could well affect a potential relationship with someone who would truly care about me. This is a small community. I have a bad enough rep without being falsely seen as an abusive partner or something. And partially, it just bugs the shit out of me that I don't know - that's the Dad side.
Further emails resulted in a stronger denial that sounded like the truth, although the grammar used implied Freudian slips of mammoth proportions. Or perhaps I am just a paranoid nut-job. In the end, it doesn't really matter. I used to feel that I was a pretty good judge of character, and that I could tell when someone is showing me something real. After I mis-judged that relationship so badly, I no longer have that confidence. But I was suitably embarrassed to drop it. I have appealed to his honor and asked for his mercy - truth or not, there really isn't anything else I can do. And I think I've sacrificed more of my dignity than I can really spare at this point.
I did ask him to please come get his stuff and give me my house keys back. I'd like to be able to not feel like little bits of our lives are still tangled up. It's just too confusing and hurtful for me.
I know that I really, really need to lay this down. I'm trying.
For some reason, I can't lay down the Glen thing from last Thursday. I know I should. I know it would be far more advisable than pursuing it. And I'm acting like Dad, which frankly is freaking me the fuck out.
I emailed M today to try to find out what he had told Glen about our break-up. I know that M is very good at playing the victim and is the recipient of a largess of sympathy pretty much whatever he does. He made at least one of his exes feel extremely sorry for him, which also worked with me. One of his co-workers has related such awful stories about the way his family treats him to her mother that the woman regularly sends baked goods to work to him, this poor motherless boy. His roommate's ruff goes up like a protective pit bull around any new guy he dates, since she has repeatedly heard about how badly he has been treated by the men he has dated. So it really isn't terribly far-fetched to think it possible that a tale had been spun about how I was yet another guy who had Done Him Wrong.
I was kind of surprised to actually receive a response. In which he told me that he "couldn't remember" what he had told Glen about our break-up (which set off the big LIE alarm in my head), but that his attitude towards me was just a result of how "caring and protective" Glen was towards M. Frankly, it sounded like a Scooter Libby answer. He should have been able to remember what he told Glen, and the truth wouldn't have given Glen any reason to feel "protective" about Gavin around me. What's threatening about the fact that he dumped me like yesterday's garbage?
I'm worried partially because things get around. If he's told Glen that I was mean to him, or that he's afraid of me, that could well affect a potential relationship with someone who would truly care about me. This is a small community. I have a bad enough rep without being falsely seen as an abusive partner or something. And partially, it just bugs the shit out of me that I don't know - that's the Dad side.
Further emails resulted in a stronger denial that sounded like the truth, although the grammar used implied Freudian slips of mammoth proportions. Or perhaps I am just a paranoid nut-job. In the end, it doesn't really matter. I used to feel that I was a pretty good judge of character, and that I could tell when someone is showing me something real. After I mis-judged that relationship so badly, I no longer have that confidence. But I was suitably embarrassed to drop it. I have appealed to his honor and asked for his mercy - truth or not, there really isn't anything else I can do. And I think I've sacrificed more of my dignity than I can really spare at this point.
I did ask him to please come get his stuff and give me my house keys back. I'd like to be able to not feel like little bits of our lives are still tangled up. It's just too confusing and hurtful for me.
I know that I really, really need to lay this down. I'm trying.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
A post in which I get more done than I expect**
I'm not having good luck with hooking up this weekend. I got shot out of the saddle so many times last night I have bruises on my butt. No wonder everyone is single. You have to be a calendar boy to get laid in this town. Or lower your standards more than I am willing to at this point. I tried again this morning. I ran into an old buddy online, who invited me by for coffee, danish, and a blow job - which by any standards is a pretty damn decent offer. So I went, after making a stop to see another friend.
I hung out, drank really excellent coffee, and talked to this guy and his lover for a while; but I really needed to go and get some stuff done today, since I got basically nothing accomplished yesterday but tire stuff. So eventually I peeled myself away and went to Home Depot. I had to pick up some new rubber gloves, because I have serious cleaning to do. While I was there, I decided to check in with their resident replacement window expert. He was actually very helpful and knowledgeable. I got a lot of info from him, and links to find out more.
That done, I picked up a prescription and headed home, ostensibly to clean. But I had to have lunch first.
And then a nap.
Then I dished up lunches I had cooked for this week and next (since I'm out of town next weekend), cleaned up the kitchen, and got them all stowed in the freezer and stuff.
Eventually, I did actually put soap to water and decided to start on the kitchen floor. I had to at least do around the fridge, since I had dropped a creamer full of fat free half and half in there Friday night, and it had dried really strangely. Not sticky, as I had expected, but really slick, like I had laminated the floor or something. Anyway, it was freaking me out. So I washed down the cabinet fronts, and hand washed the cooking area (which gets the dirtiest), and around the garbage can (ditto), and then pulled out the fridge, cleaned under and around it, and scrubbed down the side and door (cream had splattered everywhere).
But after that, my will kind of petered out. It was getting to be around 6:45pm, I hadn't had any supper, and I was really not all about staying in by myself tonight after last night. So I got cleaned up and called Miss Kat and dana, who were thankfully fine with my coming over to hang out for a while. After a quick yet indulgent dinner at Long John Silvers (where I was forced to converse with an amazingly chatty checker after being inadvertently pleasant to her), I headed over.
We had nice evening, smoking, talking, and watching snatches of a very disturbing movie with Sandra Bullock in it, inexplicably. But it was good to be around friends, in someplace I felt like I belonged. Their house has truly become kind of a home away from home for me.
I hung out, drank really excellent coffee, and talked to this guy and his lover for a while; but I really needed to go and get some stuff done today, since I got basically nothing accomplished yesterday but tire stuff. So eventually I peeled myself away and went to Home Depot. I had to pick up some new rubber gloves, because I have serious cleaning to do. While I was there, I decided to check in with their resident replacement window expert. He was actually very helpful and knowledgeable. I got a lot of info from him, and links to find out more.
That done, I picked up a prescription and headed home, ostensibly to clean. But I had to have lunch first.
And then a nap.
Then I dished up lunches I had cooked for this week and next (since I'm out of town next weekend), cleaned up the kitchen, and got them all stowed in the freezer and stuff.
Eventually, I did actually put soap to water and decided to start on the kitchen floor. I had to at least do around the fridge, since I had dropped a creamer full of fat free half and half in there Friday night, and it had dried really strangely. Not sticky, as I had expected, but really slick, like I had laminated the floor or something. Anyway, it was freaking me out. So I washed down the cabinet fronts, and hand washed the cooking area (which gets the dirtiest), and around the garbage can (ditto), and then pulled out the fridge, cleaned under and around it, and scrubbed down the side and door (cream had splattered everywhere).
But after that, my will kind of petered out. It was getting to be around 6:45pm, I hadn't had any supper, and I was really not all about staying in by myself tonight after last night. So I got cleaned up and called Miss Kat and dana, who were thankfully fine with my coming over to hang out for a while. After a quick yet indulgent dinner at Long John Silvers (where I was forced to converse with an amazingly chatty checker after being inadvertently pleasant to her), I headed over.
We had nice evening, smoking, talking, and watching snatches of a very disturbing movie with Sandra Bullock in it, inexplicably. But it was good to be around friends, in someplace I felt like I belonged. Their house has truly become kind of a home away from home for me.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
A post in which it is a very frustrating Saturday
I was up waaaay to early this morning, but after breakfast I was able to take a nice nap on the couch. I woke up feeling distinctly lazy, but there was a bunch of stuff I had to do today.
At the top of the list was to get yet another bum tire fixed on the Bomber. Loyal readers will remember that I had one of these year-old tires blow in April. So that's the second one from this set to go bad, after having had no problems at all with the set that came on the car. I was all prepared to really blame the guys who sold me these tires, since I pissed them off by not buying their $70 "road hazard protection" warranty, but it turns out that I just picked up a screw, which could happen to anyone. So I'm still suspicious, but there's nothing I can prove. Unfortunately, although the garage today told me they could have fixed the tire, typically for my luck, their tire machine was broken. But they told me they could plug it. Which was fine with me. I've had plugged tires before, and driven them until the tread wore off of them. So I left after about an hour, glad that I wouldn't have to worry about tire triage (I've been nursing this one along for two weeks now) every time I went out to my car, and ready for my trip to North Carolina next weekend.
Since I was out anyway, I ran over to Whole Foods to get some kombu for a pot of beans I was making today. While I was up there I dropped in to Total Wine to pick up some cooking wine. I've been out for a couple of weeks, and kept putting off stopping on my way home. I felt like shopping, since I had just saved over a hundred dollars by not having to buy a new tire. I went in the shoe place (I'm still looking for a new casually dressy pair of black shoes) but they didn't have anything I liked, and I was running up on my deadline. I had to be home to meet the yard guy at 3.
Headed back home, I felt the familiar feeling of a flat tire. I was thinking "Not again! Already?!" I had looked at the front tires this morning, and they looked a bit low, but I had decided to air them up later. I was thinking that one of them had now gone out. But no, it was the same @#%&()*&^**!! tire. I was really, really angry now; to the point that I threw a Yosemite Sam fit in the parking lot of the gas station near my house, jumping up and down and generally acting like a jackass. I'm sure it was really funny if you weren't me. I resolutely got out the jack, got the tire off the car, and then kicked it for a while, yelling curses on it, it's maker, the guy that sold it to me, it's parents, etc. When that wound down, I put the spare on the car and went home. The yard guy wasn't there.
I went in and called the garage that had "fixed" it that morning. They didn't answer, which was the cause of still another tirade of profanity. Apparently every tire shop in Greenville closes on Saturday about the time civilized people are getting out of bed. Eventually, I just resigned myself to laying down some bucks and called Sears. At least I knew they would be open. The guy at Sears, I have to admit, was pretty great - I was in testy form by the time he had the misfortune to answer my call, but he handled me with great aplomb.
Still no yard guy. As I left to head for Sears, though, I saw him in my rear view mirror. So I turned around and caught him. I was glad for that break anyway. The yard looks awful (David commented on it last night), but it was so dreary and drizzly today that I had resigned myself to letting it go another week.
That done, I got to Sears, pulling in just in time to see Ma and Pa Kettle monopolize the one Sears guy who would actually condescend to help a customer just as I walked in the door. They were looking at car roof-mounted luggage containers. Very carefully. Very slowly. And apparently endlessly. With the exacting caution of the extremely bored. I'm sure this was an interesting adventure for them, but by this point I had four hours in on this Quest, and my patience was pretty much gone. When they began to discuss coming back on Monday to actually purchase this paramount item, I am quite sure my body language betrayed my impatience. Basically I was acting like a bit of an ass. But my frustration was divided, since there were at least four employees lounging in various areas of the department and studiously avoiding my increasing frustration.
When the last possible threadbare nuance of this purchase had been exhausted, Pa Kettle turned from the clerk, gave me a pointed look, and said "You are now free, sir, to help this very impatient young man." I know that old people become increasingly used to their proximity to death. But I don't think this man realized how close he actually was at this point to imminent demise. His life was hanging by a thread. But even at the height of my aggravation, I was still a bit chagrined with the way I was acting, so I just gave him back a good long glare from the edge of sanity and remained silent. Yeah, even I was surprised. But it was taking all my willpower not to go off on the guy in a completely inappropriate manner. Had I opened my mouth, it would have been all over, I would have been ejected from the premises, and, most importantly, I still wouldn't have gotten my tire. So really, silence was the only option.
It turns out that the helpful clerk was the same guy I talked to on the phone. In short order he had evaluated my tire ("Sir, this tire is shot." OK, duh.), checked the rest, rousted a butt-scratcher to begin the work, written up my paperwork, and told me they would have my car ready in thirty minutes. Absolutely astonishingly, it was in fact ready in a half hour(!!).
I had walked over to Jason's Deli for lunch (and thought about Mom, she loves that place). The little garlic toasts on the salad bar were perfect today (sometimes they're a little stale); delightful little crispy rusks. That put me in a bit of a better mood. After the morning I'd had though, I just wanted to go home and hide. So that's what I did. The yard was acceptably neat when I got home too, which was nice. But after such an aggravating start to the day, I was just out of sorts and didn't want to see anyone. I went in, turned on the TV, surrendered to the sofa, and didn't move for a couple of hours.
No one called, and I was frankly not sure enough of my temperament to solicit an invitation. I turned on Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a perennial favorite of mine, and watched it while I did a bit of laundry. And that was that. I stayed in, by myself, on a Saturday night, and put off cleaning the house yet again.
At the top of the list was to get yet another bum tire fixed on the Bomber. Loyal readers will remember that I had one of these year-old tires blow in April. So that's the second one from this set to go bad, after having had no problems at all with the set that came on the car. I was all prepared to really blame the guys who sold me these tires, since I pissed them off by not buying their $70 "road hazard protection" warranty, but it turns out that I just picked up a screw, which could happen to anyone. So I'm still suspicious, but there's nothing I can prove. Unfortunately, although the garage today told me they could have fixed the tire, typically for my luck, their tire machine was broken. But they told me they could plug it. Which was fine with me. I've had plugged tires before, and driven them until the tread wore off of them. So I left after about an hour, glad that I wouldn't have to worry about tire triage (I've been nursing this one along for two weeks now) every time I went out to my car, and ready for my trip to North Carolina next weekend.
Since I was out anyway, I ran over to Whole Foods to get some kombu for a pot of beans I was making today. While I was up there I dropped in to Total Wine to pick up some cooking wine. I've been out for a couple of weeks, and kept putting off stopping on my way home. I felt like shopping, since I had just saved over a hundred dollars by not having to buy a new tire. I went in the shoe place (I'm still looking for a new casually dressy pair of black shoes) but they didn't have anything I liked, and I was running up on my deadline. I had to be home to meet the yard guy at 3.
Headed back home, I felt the familiar feeling of a flat tire. I was thinking "Not again! Already?!" I had looked at the front tires this morning, and they looked a bit low, but I had decided to air them up later. I was thinking that one of them had now gone out. But no, it was the same @#%&()*&^**!! tire. I was really, really angry now; to the point that I threw a Yosemite Sam fit in the parking lot of the gas station near my house, jumping up and down and generally acting like a jackass. I'm sure it was really funny if you weren't me. I resolutely got out the jack, got the tire off the car, and then kicked it for a while, yelling curses on it, it's maker, the guy that sold it to me, it's parents, etc. When that wound down, I put the spare on the car and went home. The yard guy wasn't there.
I went in and called the garage that had "fixed" it that morning. They didn't answer, which was the cause of still another tirade of profanity. Apparently every tire shop in Greenville closes on Saturday about the time civilized people are getting out of bed. Eventually, I just resigned myself to laying down some bucks and called Sears. At least I knew they would be open. The guy at Sears, I have to admit, was pretty great - I was in testy form by the time he had the misfortune to answer my call, but he handled me with great aplomb.
Still no yard guy. As I left to head for Sears, though, I saw him in my rear view mirror. So I turned around and caught him. I was glad for that break anyway. The yard looks awful (David commented on it last night), but it was so dreary and drizzly today that I had resigned myself to letting it go another week.
That done, I got to Sears, pulling in just in time to see Ma and Pa Kettle monopolize the one Sears guy who would actually condescend to help a customer just as I walked in the door. They were looking at car roof-mounted luggage containers. Very carefully. Very slowly. And apparently endlessly. With the exacting caution of the extremely bored. I'm sure this was an interesting adventure for them, but by this point I had four hours in on this Quest, and my patience was pretty much gone. When they began to discuss coming back on Monday to actually purchase this paramount item, I am quite sure my body language betrayed my impatience. Basically I was acting like a bit of an ass. But my frustration was divided, since there were at least four employees lounging in various areas of the department and studiously avoiding my increasing frustration.
When the last possible threadbare nuance of this purchase had been exhausted, Pa Kettle turned from the clerk, gave me a pointed look, and said "You are now free, sir, to help this very impatient young man." I know that old people become increasingly used to their proximity to death. But I don't think this man realized how close he actually was at this point to imminent demise. His life was hanging by a thread. But even at the height of my aggravation, I was still a bit chagrined with the way I was acting, so I just gave him back a good long glare from the edge of sanity and remained silent. Yeah, even I was surprised. But it was taking all my willpower not to go off on the guy in a completely inappropriate manner. Had I opened my mouth, it would have been all over, I would have been ejected from the premises, and, most importantly, I still wouldn't have gotten my tire. So really, silence was the only option.
It turns out that the helpful clerk was the same guy I talked to on the phone. In short order he had evaluated my tire ("Sir, this tire is shot." OK, duh.), checked the rest, rousted a butt-scratcher to begin the work, written up my paperwork, and told me they would have my car ready in thirty minutes. Absolutely astonishingly, it was in fact ready in a half hour(!!).
I had walked over to Jason's Deli for lunch (and thought about Mom, she loves that place). The little garlic toasts on the salad bar were perfect today (sometimes they're a little stale); delightful little crispy rusks. That put me in a bit of a better mood. After the morning I'd had though, I just wanted to go home and hide. So that's what I did. The yard was acceptably neat when I got home too, which was nice. But after such an aggravating start to the day, I was just out of sorts and didn't want to see anyone. I went in, turned on the TV, surrendered to the sofa, and didn't move for a couple of hours.
No one called, and I was frankly not sure enough of my temperament to solicit an invitation. I turned on Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a perennial favorite of mine, and watched it while I did a bit of laundry. And that was that. I stayed in, by myself, on a Saturday night, and put off cleaning the house yet again.
Friday, October 16, 2009
A post in which we do the haunted house
I woke up this morning feeling inexplicably much better. I was sitting on the porch having my coffee when I suddenly realized it was very quiet. The rain had stopped. Finally. I decided it didn't matter what Glen thought about me, and reminded myself of the unhappiness he has to deal with in his life. Better to be alone with many friends than to be a youth-obsessed aging man in a relationship with a partner who is driving me crazy. I should remember each of us has his own struggle.
I was caught up at work until Alan reviewed my aging today and assigned 17(!!) more write-offs for this month. But I was looking forward to the bear thing tonight, and ready for the weekend.
I headed for R&B's house after work, and we left from there after a smoke and a talk on the porch. I talked to him about last night, and Russ informed me that it wasn't guesswork on his part when he asserted that Glen broke up M and me. He apparently has had it direct from a good source. I do know that M has broken up with other guys because "daddy" didn't approve. I guess if it's true, then it wasn't much of a relationship to start with, or M isn't emotionally mature enough for a relationship anyway. Or it's true what they say about fat chicks - they're like mopeds. Fun to ride until a friend sees you on it. And none of this should matter to me at all at this point and I'm trying to figure out why it still does. I'm torn between 1) the emotional wasteland of my dating life making it disproportionately relevant; or just 2) that seeing Glen last night refreshed it all. I'm really hoping it's 2.
We didn't have time to eat dinner because we were supposed to meet the bears downtown at 7pm. But no bears showed up. It was just Russ, Billy, me, David, and Brian. Since no one was there anyway, we decided just to go on and eat supper before festivities. After a vote, we went to Sticky Fingers. Barbecue is usually the hardest place for me to find something to eat, but it was fine. I have been there before.
We then headed down to the haunted house. There was one down in the southern end of downtown. It was $13(!!) each to get in, but I wanted to go since the group was going. I don't really like haunted houses very much, but for the most part this one wasn't too bad. A lot of strobe lights and people jumping out from behind sheets and stuff. Insurance won't let them touch you any more, which was just dandy with me. Up until the end. In the last room, it was all painted black and white, and there was a strobe light going, so you couldn't see anything. Then a guy in a black and white striped suit and a black and white clown mask started revving a chainsaw. It was like he just came out of all the stripes and the light in there. I really, really hate clowns, and when I saw that one, I did scream. I was glad that was the last room. I was really ready to be done at that point.
When we got out, there was a debate about what to do next. Russ, of course, was all about more haunted houses. The rest of us weren't as enthusiastic. Billy wanted to go for a drink. Brian doesn't like clowns either, and like me, he was done. I was just staying out of the debate, but when directly asked, I told him I would be happy going back to their place for a drink and a talk on the porch. So we couldn't reach a consensus.
Since we were just blocks from my house, I suggested that we go to my place, have a drink, and discuss. My house is a bit rough right now, and on second thought I was a bit embarrassed to have David and Brian see it for the first time like that. But on the other hand I haven't had people in in ages, and I'm really making an effort to let go of the idea that the place has to be perfect before I can have friends over. Still, I really, really wished I had vacuumed. Russ wanted coffee, and he doesn't do hazelnut. The only plain coffee I had in the house (I usually don't have any) was Publix brand I bought because it was the penny item last week. It was decidedly inferior to the Eight O'Clock brand I usually drink, so I was embarrassed about that too, although Russ was nice enough about it.
I showed David and Brian the house, and Russ saw my copy of Hocus Pocus laying about, and asked if I would put it in. I love that movie, and watch it several times every October. But it isn't everyone's cup of tea. Brian went to sleep, and David and Billy were over it fairly quickly. We fast-forwarded to the musical number and then headed for Russ and Billy's place. When we got there it was about midnight, and Brian and David peeled off pretty quickly. Russ had to work the next day, so he didn't want to stay up late either. I hope I didn't kill the evening.
I was caught up at work until Alan reviewed my aging today and assigned 17(!!) more write-offs for this month. But I was looking forward to the bear thing tonight, and ready for the weekend.
I headed for R&B's house after work, and we left from there after a smoke and a talk on the porch. I talked to him about last night, and Russ informed me that it wasn't guesswork on his part when he asserted that Glen broke up M and me. He apparently has had it direct from a good source. I do know that M has broken up with other guys because "daddy" didn't approve. I guess if it's true, then it wasn't much of a relationship to start with, or M isn't emotionally mature enough for a relationship anyway. Or it's true what they say about fat chicks - they're like mopeds. Fun to ride until a friend sees you on it. And none of this should matter to me at all at this point and I'm trying to figure out why it still does. I'm torn between 1) the emotional wasteland of my dating life making it disproportionately relevant; or just 2) that seeing Glen last night refreshed it all. I'm really hoping it's 2.
We didn't have time to eat dinner because we were supposed to meet the bears downtown at 7pm. But no bears showed up. It was just Russ, Billy, me, David, and Brian. Since no one was there anyway, we decided just to go on and eat supper before festivities. After a vote, we went to Sticky Fingers. Barbecue is usually the hardest place for me to find something to eat, but it was fine. I have been there before.
We then headed down to the haunted house. There was one down in the southern end of downtown. It was $13(!!) each to get in, but I wanted to go since the group was going. I don't really like haunted houses very much, but for the most part this one wasn't too bad. A lot of strobe lights and people jumping out from behind sheets and stuff. Insurance won't let them touch you any more, which was just dandy with me. Up until the end. In the last room, it was all painted black and white, and there was a strobe light going, so you couldn't see anything. Then a guy in a black and white striped suit and a black and white clown mask started revving a chainsaw. It was like he just came out of all the stripes and the light in there. I really, really hate clowns, and when I saw that one, I did scream. I was glad that was the last room. I was really ready to be done at that point.
When we got out, there was a debate about what to do next. Russ, of course, was all about more haunted houses. The rest of us weren't as enthusiastic. Billy wanted to go for a drink. Brian doesn't like clowns either, and like me, he was done. I was just staying out of the debate, but when directly asked, I told him I would be happy going back to their place for a drink and a talk on the porch. So we couldn't reach a consensus.
Since we were just blocks from my house, I suggested that we go to my place, have a drink, and discuss. My house is a bit rough right now, and on second thought I was a bit embarrassed to have David and Brian see it for the first time like that. But on the other hand I haven't had people in in ages, and I'm really making an effort to let go of the idea that the place has to be perfect before I can have friends over. Still, I really, really wished I had vacuumed. Russ wanted coffee, and he doesn't do hazelnut. The only plain coffee I had in the house (I usually don't have any) was Publix brand I bought because it was the penny item last week. It was decidedly inferior to the Eight O'Clock brand I usually drink, so I was embarrassed about that too, although Russ was nice enough about it.
I showed David and Brian the house, and Russ saw my copy of Hocus Pocus laying about, and asked if I would put it in. I love that movie, and watch it several times every October. But it isn't everyone's cup of tea. Brian went to sleep, and David and Billy were over it fairly quickly. We fast-forwarded to the musical number and then headed for Russ and Billy's place. When we got there it was about midnight, and Brian and David peeled off pretty quickly. Russ had to work the next day, so he didn't want to stay up late either. I hope I didn't kill the evening.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
A post in which I got to see Kathy Griffin
As usual when I go to the Peace Center, I had to scramble home to eat and get ready in time to get there, but I made it.
The show was good, though her act was almost entirely made up of pop culture humor. Some of the jokes I understood better than others, but it was funny, and I did have a good time. The guy I went with was very nice, but as I feared there was no chemistry. The Peace Center was like old homo week, there were so many gay people there. There were a fair number of bears, but in general more of the fashionable, uber-skinny, trendy gay people there than I generally feel comfortable around.
Unsurprisingly, as we left, I ran into Glen and Stanley. This would be their kind of event. Stanley was very nice, but Glen basically looked shocked to start with, and then kind of looked at me like I was a pool of infected slime mold. For some reason, seeing them pretty much ruined the evening for me. It shouldn't have, and I don't know why it did, but there you go. I went from feeling witty and desirable to old, fat, and used up in record time. I felt suddenly rumpled and frumpy. I remembered the shirt I was wearing didn't fit me right, and of course standing next to the sleekly turned out Glen (not dressed too young tonight) I felt hopelessly awkward and out of style in general.
Russ and Billy were there with David and Brian. Vince and Brian were there as well. We stopped to talk to everyone for a few minutes after we got outside, but it was a Thursday night, and folks were peeling off pretty quickly to get home. I asked Russ a bit too abruptly about the costume plans for Halloween this year. I probably pissed him off. But I hate theme costumes to start with, and I was feeling impatient and out of sorts. On the one hand, I wanted to go someplace with friends and feel like part of something for a bit; but on the other hand I felt isolated and very odd man out standing there talking to all those couples. It just reinforced my reject status.
The guy I was with left pretty abruptly. He teaches, had to be up early tomorrow, had a half hour drive to get home, and it was already 10. Since the bears weren't going anywhere afterwards I went on home. As I was walking off with them, I noticed a very attractive young man, and had just decided that he was a cool straight guy when he spoke to Billy. Turns out he was gay. He was telling Billy, jokingly, that he was single and needed a date, and Billy immediately started talking to him about Ted. In truth, he would have been about right for Ted. They're about the same age and "looks level". I didn't say a peep. After the guy walked off, Billy remembered me, and said "Oh I'm sorry, baby, I forgot you're single too." Now this guy was way out of my league - he would no more have considered me than he would Rush Limbaugh, but somehow just the way Billy said it made me feel like I've just been written off. Resigned to spinsterhood at 42. Sigh. Of course, no one knows the short shelf-life of gay men better than me.
I got home, stripped gratefully out of my ill-fitting and unfashionable ensemble, and was truly glad to be where no one could see me. I texted M, curious about what he told Glen about our break-up, but of course received no response. It really shouldn't matter to me. I know that. But it does.
The show was good, though her act was almost entirely made up of pop culture humor. Some of the jokes I understood better than others, but it was funny, and I did have a good time. The guy I went with was very nice, but as I feared there was no chemistry. The Peace Center was like old homo week, there were so many gay people there. There were a fair number of bears, but in general more of the fashionable, uber-skinny, trendy gay people there than I generally feel comfortable around.
Unsurprisingly, as we left, I ran into Glen and Stanley. This would be their kind of event. Stanley was very nice, but Glen basically looked shocked to start with, and then kind of looked at me like I was a pool of infected slime mold. For some reason, seeing them pretty much ruined the evening for me. It shouldn't have, and I don't know why it did, but there you go. I went from feeling witty and desirable to old, fat, and used up in record time. I felt suddenly rumpled and frumpy. I remembered the shirt I was wearing didn't fit me right, and of course standing next to the sleekly turned out Glen (not dressed too young tonight) I felt hopelessly awkward and out of style in general.
Russ and Billy were there with David and Brian. Vince and Brian were there as well. We stopped to talk to everyone for a few minutes after we got outside, but it was a Thursday night, and folks were peeling off pretty quickly to get home. I asked Russ a bit too abruptly about the costume plans for Halloween this year. I probably pissed him off. But I hate theme costumes to start with, and I was feeling impatient and out of sorts. On the one hand, I wanted to go someplace with friends and feel like part of something for a bit; but on the other hand I felt isolated and very odd man out standing there talking to all those couples. It just reinforced my reject status.
The guy I was with left pretty abruptly. He teaches, had to be up early tomorrow, had a half hour drive to get home, and it was already 10. Since the bears weren't going anywhere afterwards I went on home. As I was walking off with them, I noticed a very attractive young man, and had just decided that he was a cool straight guy when he spoke to Billy. Turns out he was gay. He was telling Billy, jokingly, that he was single and needed a date, and Billy immediately started talking to him about Ted. In truth, he would have been about right for Ted. They're about the same age and "looks level". I didn't say a peep. After the guy walked off, Billy remembered me, and said "Oh I'm sorry, baby, I forgot you're single too." Now this guy was way out of my league - he would no more have considered me than he would Rush Limbaugh, but somehow just the way Billy said it made me feel like I've just been written off. Resigned to spinsterhood at 42. Sigh. Of course, no one knows the short shelf-life of gay men better than me.
I got home, stripped gratefully out of my ill-fitting and unfashionable ensemble, and was truly glad to be where no one could see me. I texted M, curious about what he told Glen about our break-up, but of course received no response. It really shouldn't matter to me. I know that. But it does.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A post in which I get an invitation
I woke to the sound of rain. I drank my coffee on the porch and watched the rain. I drove to work in the rain. I am heartily sick of rain, blessing or not.
I didn’t go to the gym tonight because I had to go to the library. Yeah, I know. Apparently the most threadbare of excuses will do. So I went and picked up the book they had on hold for me, and browsed the movies while I was there. Since there’s been crap on TCM lately I got a couple of old movies from the DVD section. I passed up The Letter, regretfully. Although I love Bette I’ve seen that one a couple of times, and I’m trying to broaden my repertoire.
I went home and virtuously ate dibs and dabs out of the fridge for supper. For some reason for the last week, all I’ve wanted to do is eat and sleep. Apparently I am preparing for hibernation or something. Last night was no exception. I ate a perfectly adequate dinner, and then had to have more to eat before I went to bed. No idea what’s going on there. My idea was that if I exercised less my appetite would decline accordingly, but that theory doesn’t seem to be working out.
The movie I watched tonight was called Black Widow. Ginger Rogers was cast against type as a bitch, and played it to the hilt. After all that time playing Fred Astaire’s dance partner, it seemed that she relished having some lines. And she had some lu-lus:
He has an extra ticket to go see Kathy Griffin tomorrow at the Peace Center, so I'm going with him. I'm not a huge Kathy Griffin fan, actually, but I really respect the work she did against Prop 8 in California. She was actually out there knocking on doors for the cause. I think we're more than an audience for Kathy. I respect that. I have been interested to meet the guy, but I didn't want to lead him on, so this is a good no-pressure way to meet him and see if there's any kind of spark. I wish there would be. But if there isn't he's promised not to molest, and I'll get to go to the Peace Center, so it's kind of a win-win.
I didn’t go to the gym tonight because I had to go to the library. Yeah, I know. Apparently the most threadbare of excuses will do. So I went and picked up the book they had on hold for me, and browsed the movies while I was there. Since there’s been crap on TCM lately I got a couple of old movies from the DVD section. I passed up The Letter, regretfully. Although I love Bette I’ve seen that one a couple of times, and I’m trying to broaden my repertoire.
I went home and virtuously ate dibs and dabs out of the fridge for supper. For some reason for the last week, all I’ve wanted to do is eat and sleep. Apparently I am preparing for hibernation or something. Last night was no exception. I ate a perfectly adequate dinner, and then had to have more to eat before I went to bed. No idea what’s going on there. My idea was that if I exercised less my appetite would decline accordingly, but that theory doesn’t seem to be working out.
The movie I watched tonight was called Black Widow. Ginger Rogers was cast against type as a bitch, and played it to the hilt. After all that time playing Fred Astaire’s dance partner, it seemed that she relished having some lines. And she had some lu-lus:
GR to party guest: I must be frank with you and tell you that your husband is the worst theater critic in New York.While watching, I was fooling around online some. I chatted with a nice guy from Manhunt. I think he was too hip for me, but he was nice. I also talked to a guy on Bear411 with whom I have conversed previously. He's a nice guy, smart, and funny. But he's a closet case, and I'm not really that attracted to him - typically for me. A perfectly nice guy, and I'm not interested. I apparently want someone to treat me like dirt. But I digress.
Party Guest: But my husband is no critic.
GR: How perfectly sweet of you to agree with me!
PG: No, you don't understand. You've mistaken me for someone else. My husband is a banker.
GR: A banker?? Then why are you wearing that horrendous hat?!
He has an extra ticket to go see Kathy Griffin tomorrow at the Peace Center, so I'm going with him. I'm not a huge Kathy Griffin fan, actually, but I really respect the work she did against Prop 8 in California. She was actually out there knocking on doors for the cause. I think we're more than an audience for Kathy. I respect that. I have been interested to meet the guy, but I didn't want to lead him on, so this is a good no-pressure way to meet him and see if there's any kind of spark. I wish there would be. But if there isn't he's promised not to molest, and I'll get to go to the Peace Center, so it's kind of a win-win.
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