A post in which I wake up very depressed**

Don't know why. Just woke up feeling lower than a worm's asshole.

Last night I started thinking about how much I hate Sunday evenings. I usually leave housework and stuff that has to be done until then so I'm just busy and don't have to think about it. The restaurant we were in was pretty much deserted. On Sundays people are home with their families/spouses/loved ones. Plus I had that thing where I had to tell the waitress "Yes I'm alone," again. I know it's stupid for that to hit me today. I was out with friends who really care about me after all. But it just struck me wrong. I've been fighting it all weekend, but today I just didn't have any fight left.

I ended up watching Goodbye Mr. Chips today. I had never seen it before, and TCM had it on OnDemand. They are doing a salute to 1939 this month (the golden year of cinema, and the last gasp of the studio system). It was a very good movie, but it was very sad. Greer Garson played the wife. I love her. But her character died in childbirth. The guy is dying and looking back over his life. It was a very good movie, but then the character had a very eventful life and made a difference in a bunch of people's lives.

I feel like I'm right back where I was ten years ago. Dating guys with no promise. Having sex with guys I either don't like or who aren't available. Is this it? What's the point?

Justin called tonight. He said I'd been on his mind. We made plans to go to dinner tomorrow night. I'll go up and visit with him, and take him his Taylor Smith Taylor platter I got him the other week. Plus he has presents he got for me that are burning a hole in his pocket.

It'll give me something to look forward to anyway.