Happy New Year!

I hadn't intended to do the whole New Year's Day dinner thing tomorrow. After all, I am full of dip and have a freezer full of soup now. But I dropped in the grocery store to pick up a couple of odds and ends, and saw all the people buying their peas and greens, and started thinking. With my boss retiring and all this year, this would not be a good year to tempt fate. I'm not superstitious, particularly, but I'm just hedging my bets a bit. So when I got home, I put my peas in to soak.

***

Well I have to say, I have never been a big fan of New Year's Eve. Particularly when I'm single. There's so much pressure to be having a good time at the last of the year, and by that point, everyone is really kind of tired out from the holidays anyway. For me, the fun has always worn kind of threadbare by New Year's Eve. Then there's also the whole kiss at midnight thing, and the reminder of another year spent alone. Small wonder people get drunk. Which is pretty much what I decided to do. Not that I have been a model of temperance for the holidays anyway, but I just decided to tie one one for NYE.

I was invited to Kimblee and Laura's house for their get-together. I dearly love them, and they are very good to me. I love them even though they have a gorgeous period Arts and Crafts home (with mullioned windows yet) that practically fell into their lap, already in perfect shape. Their NYE thing is always small, 15-20 people, so it's not a mob scene; and I know everyone there. Once again, nice laid-back people I enjoy seeing.

They had put together a nice buffet, some things they had made, and some fattening holiday stuff they wanted to get out of the house (Laura, like me, suffers from a tendency to become overly Rubenesque easily).

I did drink too much, but not way too much. I saw in the New Year. It was better to be at a party than to be alone. I did enjoy seeing everyone. I even got a kiss at midnight, from a kind of weird guy that was there. And now I wonder.

See last year I kissed Michael at midnight, and then this whole year has been about getting over him. Is the next year going to be about being involved with kind of weird guys? I hope not.

Dan'l and Jim's Drop-in at Th' Creekside

Another rainy yucky day, in which there is no flea market activity.

***

Since I knew I had three parties in a row these three days, the days after have been officially designated as recovery days. Accordingly, I spent a good part of the day in bed (after my 5:45 wake-up this morning), to the delight of Jinx, my lil furball o love kitty. She loves nothing better than lying in the bed with me.

So I took it easy, and made after-party soup today. This started last year, and looks to be a tradition in the making. Every year after the bear party, Russ and Billy are left with all these uneaten veggie trays. No one seems to know what to do with them. My theory here is that since the veggies are cut up to eat raw, people think you have to eat them that way. Well they are the perfect size to go into salads and things, but they can also be COOKED. They are, after all, vegetables. They are the perfect size to be steamed, go into casseroles, and be stir-fried. But easiest of all is After Party Soup. I usually don't feel like stir-frying, etc, the day after a party. But this recipe is delicious, fool-proof, and best of all EASY.

After Party Soup

About 3 good-sized potatoes, washed and cut into chunks

1 large onion, also peeled and roughly cut up

2 veggie bullion cubes

salt and pepper

2-3 garlic cloves, peeled and cut up into several pieces

a good sized lump of heart-healthy margarine or butter

Assorted party veggies

Water

Put the onion in the bottom of the crock pot, and add potatoes on top of that. Next add bullion cubes, butter, salt and pepper, and garlic. Then just layer your veggies on. Baby carrots and celery first, since they're harder, chunk the celery up a bit. Then cherry tomatoes, squash, broccoli, cauliflower, etc. Whatever you have left from the trays. Pour water until you can see it around the top veggies. Turn crock pot on high, and leave it until the veggies get soft. Give it a stir every now and again. You can eat it like that, or as I prefer. Once the veggies get soft, I run a stick blender through it, or put it through a regular blender in batches. The potatoes give it a nice creamy texture, and it's a painless way to eat your veggies. I add a bit of extra pepper to play against the mildness of the veggies.

There you have it. Leftovers used, a lovely healthy dish made up, and practically no work. It's a win-win.

***

Dan'l and Jim's house is beautiful. They always have their holiday thing on a Sunday because Jim is an actor, and works on Saturday nights when he's in a show. It's always a great crowd. A good mix of straight and gay, laid back people just getting together to enjoy each others company, talk and laugh. It's always a relaxing time. For the guests anyway. I know Dan'l and Jim always kill themselves making sure the house and grounds are gorgeous (they have 7 acres, all landscaped lovingly by Dan'l, who has a green body, I swear). They also have a delicious spread of food.

There was candlelight, and laughter, and a fire in the fireplace, which was good because the weather was vile. But they have a huge wrap-around porch on the house, so the weather really wasn't much of an issue. Aside from on guest getting their car stuck in the wet yard (they are in a bit of a little gorge) we barely noticed the rain.

I got to see Ghentry Baxley, whom I rather fancied last year. He is a very attractive man, and I think he was attracted to me too, but he lives in Asheville, an hour away, and I think he's moving on with his life. He left the party pretty early, so we barely got a chance to talk at all. Sigh. Well I guess I really didn't expect anything anyway.

Russ and Billy ended up going to the party with me, and that was lovely. I always love seeing them, and the three of us could have fun anywhere. Plus I didn't have to go by myself. I don't mind going in places by myself any more (that was an issue for a while after the break-up) but it is nicer to come with other people, I think.

The Noah's Ark trend continued. Everyone showed up two by two, married for the holidays at least. But it was still fun, and I had a great time.

The Bear Party!

Well when I woke up and looked around this morning, I realized that I should have done a lot more cleaning yesterday. I had invited a friend up from Greenwood to go to the Bear Christmas Party tonight, and the house was not at it's best. I had a very busy day ahead of me.

Fortunately, I had already cooked my sweet potatoes for the sweet potato casserole I was taking yesterday, so all I had to do was put the casserole together today. In the meantime, I was going to the damn flea market today. It was yucky weather last Sunday, and this is the first flea market day since I got my Santa money. Unfortunately the flea market gods conspired against me and it was ugly weather again today. On the way there, Billy called and asked me to go by Kmart to get him some pants that were on sale, since there is a Kmart like block from my house, and Russ called to ask if I would pick up a turner for his Christmas tree at the flea market. I was afraid I was going to have to go up to Duncan to get that, but fortunately one of the few vendors who was at the flea market near my house this morning had the turner, and I was able to get it easily. There was just nothing I wanted dammit. So I ran by and got the pants, and then went home to clean.

I spent the afternoon cleaning and messing with the casserole. Once again, Grandma Shumate's sweet potatoes did not set. They are delicious, but always end up soupy. I think the problem is that the recipe is for canned sweet potatoes, which I just will not use, and I am using potatoes I cooked myself, which have more moisture left in them. Compounding the tweaking is that I only make this stuff about once a year. It is really terrible for you, basically sweet potato pie without the crust, and with a butter and pineapple topping. Good, but you can hear your arteries hardening as you eat it. I make it for Billy at Christmas because it is his favorite.

The house was pretty respectable by the time my guest arrived to leave for the party, but I was still a wreck since he got there about a half hour early. I just had to pull it together and go.

The bear party is always fun. This year was no exception. It wasn't quite as wild this year as in years past. Some of the key wild people weren't there to get things going, and we ended up playing with Billy's Christmas Wii instead of the BDSM toys this year. There was no nekkid mayhem. But it was good to see everyone, and I had a great time. There was also some killer food. This one guy made an artichoke dip that was to die for. Also, since Billy and Russ are on Weight Watchers, they sent said dip home with me. YUmmmmmmmm. I am going to HAVE to have that recipe.

My guest immediately sees someone he knows, goes over to him, and spends the rest of the evening talking to him. I did check in with him once or twice, but he barely moved the whole night, and talked to his friend. So much for making new friends. Whatever, that's his life.

For the gift exchange this year, we did "Crappy Christmas/Shitty Santa" and everyone brought the worst gift they received to the party. We all draw numbers and do the usual Dirty Santa routine, but there was almost no stealing this year, because most of the gifts were pretty bad. Russ and Billy and I all knew what the other was bringing, so we didn't pick each other's gifts. One of the gifts was a blender that had been opened and used, and wasn't even clean! I can't imagine giving something like that, but the guy that brought it swears he got it that way. I got to run the gift exchange, and it was lots of fun. I'd like to do that every year.

So anyway, the party breaks up, and my guest tells me he's going to stay with me, rather than drive back to Greenwood. It's about 1am, and this is what I figured. So he goes into the bathroom the minute we get home, and is in there for like a half hour. I'm thinking "What the hell is he doing in there?", but he's company, so I just do my little nighttime stuff and get ready for bed. When I finally get in the bathroom, it is a mess. There's water everywhere. My towel, and my cleaning cloth that I keep in there are sopping, and the vanity has water all over it. Like a whole roll of toilet paper is gone, and there is a wad of sopping tp on the toilet seat. OK, now I should have offered a towel, I guess, but wouldn't you just ask for one? Anyway, I clean up and go to bed. The guy wakes me up at 5:45am, leaving to go home. Doesn't say why, just leaving. Weird.

And no, there was no hanky-panky last night. I was a good boy. I was just trying to be friendly inviting the guy to the party since he had just moved here. It was just weird.

My day off on my vacation

Well today was my day off. After pulling family duties the last two days and getting my shopping done, I was ready for some serious veg time. While I have been off work, my addiction to the British show "How Clean is Your House?" has intensified. For those of you who have never seen the show, these two very strict British nanny types descend upon dirty Britains, enter their homes (some of which are amazingly filthy) and clean them up; but not without a good talking-to first. I love it when they call the filth offender to the carpet and he or she has to stand there and be castigated. I also wonder how many British BDSM submissives are home pleasuring themselves as they watch. BDSM just makes you see the world differently.

Anyway, as I was into my second episode, I looked around my living room, and decided Kim and Aggie (the women from HCiYH) would think I was a bit spodgy myself. I had been needing the clean the corner behind the sofa for a while, but dreading it. Crooner (aka Crooner the Hut, my boyo cat) has allergies, and he loves to sit on the table behind the sofa and snort out kittysnots all over the walls, window, table, etc. And that shit won't come off. I have often said, if that space shuttle had been put together with cat snot, those astronauts would be alive today. So that was my problem. I was scrubbing the paint off the walls, but the Croonersnot was still on there. But Kim and Aggie solved my problem. You use shaving cream (not gel). It is concentrated soap, and the alcohol and propellant in it loosen grime. Plus, it's thick enough to cling to the spot, instead of running off. Some of it still had to be persuaded with a label remover, but this was the first thing that has shifted it at all. So I deep cleaned half the living room, and felt most virtuous and pleased with myself.

That took most of the afternoon, so after that I did a bit of wash and vegged with a clear conscience.

Wheee! Santa shopping!

Lovely day today. Got to spend my Santa money! Well some of it anyway. I had to deposit part of it in my checking account to cover some holiday indulgences....

But I digress. I went to Costco bright and early, with every intention of joining. I had eaten some of the food from there that my parents gave me last week. I gave the store a good going over, and some of the products they had looked really good. The produce section was very nice, but they didn't have many of the items I consistently buy from BJ's, my old discount club. BJ's has their own brand of multi-vitamins for men which is excellent. I saw only brand name vitamins at Costco. They didn't have frozen broccoli spears (which I eat a LOT of), only florets, which don't work for Decadent Baked Broccoli. They also didn't have the mini-quiches that Justin and I love. They had another kind done in phyllo dough. The spinach ones were very good, but the others had salami in them - ugh. Overall, they had a really good selection of prepared food, but they didn't have as good a selection of ingredients, I thought, which I mainly what I buy in bulk.

So I went down to BJ's and got a membership there. Then I went shopping! I bought stuff for the freezer, and new Fat Pants (thanks to the holiday eating). It was wonderful. They also had a beautiful salmon fillet on sale for half price, which I took home and promptly Teriyakied for lunch. Delicious! The only disappointment was the little quiches. Some idiot decided to change the recipe, and put fucking bacon in all of them! DAMMIT!! They've only sold about a blue million of them, so I guess the recipe needed to be changed. Git.

Tonight was Paul's (my brother-in-law) birthday dinner at his parents house. It was very nice. His poor mother had cooked all day, and then was so tired and sick from the heat in the kitchen, she couldn't even enjoy the meal. That woman makes a macaroni pie so good that angels would weep. She told me her secret, and I am sure going to try it the next time I make one. She says the secret is to make the pie ahead of time, and let it sit before you bake it, which I never do. Easy enough to try. She also gave me both of her pound cake recipes I have been wanting, both of which are shortening free. I have been looking for a shortening free pound cake recipe for some time, and now I have a chocolate one too! Bonus! Can't wait to try them. Her chocolate pound cake is supposed to be delicious. Oddly enough, you start both recipes in a cold oven, which I have never heard of. Interesting. They are RICH cakes though. Like 5 eggs each, whipping cream, the whole 9 yards.

So I have new pants that don't impede blood flow, and new recipes to try. Yay!

Merry Christmas some again...

Well tonight was Christmas with the family. Cindy and Paul and the dog, and their in-laws, and on and on.

We all got together and had dinner and did the presents thing.

Everyone was on their best behavior, and got along well.

Little Phoebe, my brother-in-law's niece, is just the cutest little thing, and she just loves me. I get her a stuffed reindeer every year for Christmas. We played, and I carried her around. My nephew Brenden got a pinball machine (a smaller toy version). It was pretty cool, but really LOUD. After my brother-in-law's family left to go home, I hung out for a bit and talked to the folks. It was nice.

And Santa brought me MONEY!! Yay!!! There are things I have been needing that I have kind of been waiting on my Christmas money to buy. I get to go shopping tomorrow! Huzzah!!

Merry Christmas some more...

Well today was the big day. It was Miss Kat's Christmas Brunch for friends. I was really looking forward to a) being free of my family, and b) getting to spend Christmas with my friends, really my chosen family. Since my sister Cindy wasn't coming up from Charleston until the 26th, I was free to spend Christmas the way I wanted.

I got up early to put my quiche in the oven, and it came out perfect. While it was in the oven, I watched 'The Lawrence Welk Christmas Special' from the beautiful Champagne Theater in Branson, MO, as I do every year. I have it on DVD. One of my most cherished Christmas memories is watching Lawrence Welk at my grandparents' house in the mountains. It was snowing out, but my grandfather had a roaring fire going, and we were toasty warm. My grandmother was roasting pecans in the oven, and I ate them on Grandpa's lap as we watched the show. They all seem so happy on the show. Everyone is beautifully dressed, and gets along. I always cry during the part where the guy dances with his daughter. I'm such a soft touch at Christmas.

Anyway, I was the first one at Miss Kat's house, and was helping her fix plates of cookies. She made all these different kinds of cookies and they were SCRUMPTIOUS!! My favorite were these little powdered sugar lime cookies. I could have eaten about a truck load of them. She also made a french toast bread pudding that was to die for. No one ate my quiche. I should have done something a bit more down to earth. A lot of them didn't know what hearts of palm were, and wouldn't try it. Well at least Russ ate a piece.

Russ and Billy were there, and I got to see other friends from LOCK, and that was nice. It was a really nice time.

After that, it was about 2:30, so I left there and went home for a nap and a freshen. Russ and Billy were going to Rick Shaw's Christmas Anti-Event, which is always wonderful. It's a true "come as you are" party, and I always wear my PJ's and slippers, and we play cards, and it's just lovely. This year was true to form. The turnout wasn't as big as in years past, but we still had a great time. AND I got my ROBE!! I had seen this robe in Mass General downtown, but Russ had told us they could only hold it for 24 hours and it had been put out and sold. There was only one in my size. I was SO happy when I opened their gift and it was the robe! I love it. It's hunter green flannel, and it has bears all over it. I love it so much I wore it to Rick's party tonight.

What a lovely Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Things finally started falling into place today. I stopped putting things off, I guess because I had to LOL

Got up and made my hearts of palm chili, so I can whoop my quiche in the oven tomorrow early.

Wrapped presents for about 3 hours while I watched strange Christmas specials on Lifetime. Watched "Ebbie", because I hadn't seen it before. It was pretty hard core. But then the Dickens original is pretty hard core. Most people don't realize it, because the adaptations cut it out, but in the original 'A Christmas Carol' during the glimpse of Christmas Future, Tiny Tim is actually laid out dead in the upstairs bedroom. Pretty grim, huh?

Also made my pound cake for Helen. That was the last of the Christmas cooking I had to do until the bear party. It got a bit overdone, but still looked fine. I had been reminding myself to find a plate for it, but the flea market was rained out yesterday, and they didn't have any Christmas platters at Kmart except for the awful plastic things. I finally found one on sale at CVS today. They didn't give me the discount, I realized when I got home, but it was so reasonable, it really didn't matter.

This was the system the cats and I worked out for wrapping gifts:

1) Wrap the present.
2) Put on the ribbon.
3) Put the present in the other room.
4) Cats chew off the ribbon.
5) Cats throw up the ribbon in the floor.
6) Clean up vomit.
7) Trim ribbon on package.
8) Repeat.

Once we got going, I got a lot done.

I hate to wrap presents. And they usually turn out looking like I hate to wrap them. But I was trying this year. Michael used to do that for me, but I didn't want to have the gifts looking bad just because he wasn't here, so I was kind of making more of an effort. I got Billy's present wrapped, and it was so pretty, the prettiest one I had done so far. I placed it carefully in the living room, then walked back into the kitchen to find Billy's gift sitting on the counter. Because I didn't know what was in the pretty gift, I had to unwrap it to find out. Sigh. I also apparently own no gift boxes. So one present is wrapped in a pasta box, but since she can't read yet, I don't guess she'll mind.

Procrastination, thy name is Steve

Well what I should have done today is wrap gifts. They are all still piled in my study, unwrapped. And Christmas is like tomorrow.

Woke up to lousy weather that really didn't make me feel like doing anything. Since I hadn't bought any vegetables yesterday, I went back to the flea market in a drizzle like clouds spitting occasionally. Fortunately for me the vegetable sellers were there.

I got enough veggies to do a big pot of smother-fried garlic vegetables to eat on next week, and did a big 4 pound batch of Decadent Baked Broccoli. So I did get something accomplished. Yet I still have not wrapped a single present. Sigh. I hate to wrap presents. I LOVE buying and giving them; just hate wrapping them.

First day of my vacation

Sigh. What a lovely feeling. I have already decided to be lazy today. Didn't do much of anything productive.

I went to the flea market, but didn't buy much of anything. Didn't even get vegetables. Figured I'd do that tomorrow. I will be going to the flea market every possible day since I'm off. Yay!

Called Billy, Russ has gone to see his family. We ate at the MOST amazing new restaurant called Anna's International in Greer of all places. When we walked in, I was really expecting something out of "Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares". The menu was extensive, and covered several types of cuisine. I didn't see how they could possibly turn out all these different types of dishes.

Well I was totally wrong. Not only did they do it, but the food was sensational. Billy had a pasta with chicken in vodka sauce. The sauce was exquisite, obviously made there, fresh, and bursting with flavor, including fresh basil. The pasta appeared to be fresh instead of dried. I had Flounder Fracaise, and it was fabulous. The fish enrobed in a delicate, yet not greasy or overpowering egg batter, and covered with a lemon, butter and wine sauce so light, as subtle as a baby's breath on your palate, yet delicious and flavorful. It was lovely. I will be going back there.

But in the meantime, I have tons to do tomorrow.

'Tis the season...

I consumed 1,520 calories today of JUST COOKIES (eek, but really, yummm)

OK, first, I love that card, it is one I actually received from Sweet Justin for Christmas. You have to magnify it to read the caption, sorry. I was so impressed that I finally converted it from a .pdf to a .jpeg that I was afraid to mess with it any more. Yes, I'm kind of like Lucy on a computer.

Lovely evening. Justin came over to watch movies. Now Voyager was supposed to be on, but TCM apparently changed the schedule and showed Dark Victory instead. Still a great movie, and still all about Bette, but a serious downer. Also, as much as I love it, I have to say that watching it now, I see things that don't make sense to me. But still, it's Bette. I was a bit worried it would get me down. I always just lose it when she's planting those flowers. But apparently I am moving out of the whole depression thing for real. I was fine. I'm not as fragile as I have been in the last year, and Thank God for that!

We also watched The PeeWee Herman Christmas Special, which I bought last year on the advice of a certain friend who shall remain nameless. It had it's highlights, I have to say. KD Lang was on, apparently early in her career, doing weird scary drag in a cowgirl outfit. I think this was when she was still trying to go mainstream. I'm sure she wishes every copy of this special was destroyed. She has no idea what she's doing. I think they told her, "bigger, broader, and if you can't be femme, be perky!" So she is basically acting like Katie Couric on speed and about a case of Buzz Cola. I was horrificated. I've always been impressed by the dignity of an established butch. Watching this was like watching them decorate the Lincoln Memorial with strings of Hello Kitty lights. Thank God she went Indie.

Apparently, I am still a guy/POS

Well I broke things off with John last night. It wasn't working for me, and I had intended to take him to dinner last night and tell him. But when I talked to him last night, he still wasn't feeling well, we were both exhausted with Christmas stuff, and it looked like it wasn't going to happen. So I decided I had to just go ahead and tell him on the phone. I couldn't decide if it would be worse to string him along through the holidays, or break up with him right before Christmas. Additionally, we both had tons of Christmas stuff going on, and who knew if we would even see each other next week? Ultimately, I decided there had been enough wrong signals already, and to go ahead and tell him. He was very nice about the whole thing, and even emailed me say that he thought it went better via phone than it would have in person, but that may have just been him being nice. So I still kind of feel like a shit about it.

So last night I sprawled, ate more scampi, and went to bed early. I washed my robe so it would be Downy fresh for Christmas. And noticed the my washer is dying. It's making really horrendous noises. Oh shit. I guess I can't complain, I paid $150 for it second hand 7 years ago. But still. Oh shit.

Tomorrow is the last day of work before Christmas vacation - Yay!!

Busy, busy, busy - fat, fat, fat

Terribly busy last night, but it's my own fault. Had to go get a new Christmas present for some friends I bought the wrong thing for. Then had to buy cat food. I really wasn't going to run out next week while I'm off work. Some people worry about their pets eating them if they die. I'm worried mine may start dividing me up BEFORE I die. Jinx and Crooner are both chow hounds. I can just see Jinx getting out a little chart at night, and going over it like Wyle E. Cayote. "Let me point out the flavor zones: strawberry, roast pheasant, licorice..." After that ran in to Burlington Coat Factory to see if they had any of the slippers I like. They had one pair. Now I know I could have asked for them for Christmas, but there is only one kind I like, they are really hard to find, and frankly, I wouldn't put anyone else through the search. After that I went by the library to pick up books on hold. I ran out of books earlier this month, and panicked. Now I have 7 out. I don't think I'll be able to finish them before they are due. I had thought I would do some reading while I'm off next week, but I have so much going on now, it doesn't look as if that is going to happen.

I suppose I could have worse problems. I have been thinking a lot lately about how blessed I am to have so many friends and people who care about me. I know there are some people who won't feel they have anywhere to go for Christmas, and I have at least 5 different places I have been invited. Makes me tear up. But then I'm a soft touch at Christmas. I've been crying over everything lately.

After got in from errands, tossed some leftover scampi (thanks Mom!) down my throat and went over the Miss Kat and Dana's for a visit. I had promised Dana I would come see them this week. It is always good to see them, and I had tales of shopping from this weekend to relate. They are both so dear to me, and it is so good to see them so happy together. Gives me hope

Unfortunately, when I came home from their house, I had the munchies something awful, and I had all that food in the house. And this was AFTER I made myself sick at work on Sponge Candy the agency sent. I ate like a pig, and then fell into bed, and woke up this morning big as a house. Sigh. I suppose I can lose some weight after Christmas.

I had to have a serious talk with my pants this morning before work:

Me: You are going to button! I have to go to work!!!

Pants: Screw you, Gigantor, we ain't a gonna do it!

Me: Yes you ARE!

Pants: NO we're NOT!

I did finally get them buttoned, but neither one of us is very happy about it.

All is calm, all is bright

Went to see Dad tonight for his birthday. It's actually tomorrow, but they have a special church service tomorrow. I was a bit worried, because my dad and I have almost nothing in common, aside from being carbon-based life forms and sharing some DNA. We usually get along much better if we only see each other every other month or so. It went very well though. I was a bit worried about his present. My dad is impossible to buy for. Anything he needs/wants/fancies/has a passing interest in he already owns. I had decided to get him a book that I thought he would like, but the author is a lesbian. Dad has issues with the whole gay thing (which I kind of like saying the Titanic had issues with icebergs), so I didn't know if he would read the book if I told him about the author. On the other hand, if I didn't tell him, and he found out, he would think I was trying to get one past him and I would be in the doghouse. I decided to come clean, and he was very gracious about it, surprisingly. I don't know if he'll read it or not, but at least he was nice about it.

We had delish shrimp scampi for dinner, and my step-mom sent it home with me, along with a pint of lobster bisque and a mushroom quiche (they have a new Costco membership, and have been trying things out, apparently), so I don't have to worry about cooking anything else this week. I finally got to the grocery store last night on the way home too, so got the little fill-in stuff I needed. My week is coming together.

But I still don't have an evening free until Friday. I'm hoping Sweet Justin will come to watch movies Friday night, but haven't heard from him. Now Voyager is coming on TCM Friday night, one of my favorites.

I am shaping up to have quite a busy calendar for next week. I thought I was going to get some rest (and maybe a bit of cleaning done), but now it doesn't look like that will happen.

- 12-25 Christmas brunch, bringing a quiche, which will need to be mixed up the day before

-12-26 Christmas with family, including one sister and her in-laws

- 12-27 Brother-in-laws birthday dinner

- 12-29 Bear Christmas party/pot-luck, will have a dish to prepare to take

- 12-30 Dan'l and Jim's Christmas party - will need to look smashing, as a really cute guy I like will be there.

And that doesn't even include NYE stuff (ew- despise NYE)

And back to work on 1-2-08

Monday night out

Hmmm, wonder if sushi was what I was really wanting...LOL

Had intended a quiet evening, but Sweet Justin called. He, Russ, and Billy were going to out for sushi, so of course I had to go. Irashiai does Monday night specials, and if I ordered them I guess it would be a cheaper way to eat sushi, but when I go there I have to have my favorites. It was good to see them, I didn't think I would get to see Russ and Billy this week. Ooh and they had a Christmas tree with geisha ornaments that was pretty cool too. Does kind of jam my week up though. I won't be home a single night this week, and I have to buy groceries at some point. I guess I'll work it out. After dinner, out to Barnes and Noble for coffee, and I picked up Dad's birthday present, which I needed to get, as I have dinner with them tomorrow. Now all I need is a birthday card and I'm good to go there.

Still waking up every morning at 5:30am. Grrrrr. I would be getting lots done if I didn't log on an pull up Youtube. Next thing you know I'm late for work. I had no idea Rodney Carrington was so cute.... I just love funny men.

Home again, home again

Shopping with Lee, which is just what we do. It was nice. Got a new work shirt that I really didn't need, but $13 for a Chaps shirt was too good to pass up. Also got some Charles Chips, and a can of See's Candies "Toffee-ettes", possibly the most delicious confection ever made. My friend Jaimie turned me on to them, as she always had them at her house at Christmas. We called them "cat box cookies", which is kind of what they look like, but surely manna from heaven has never been so delicious. I only buy one tin a year, since they have 8,000,000 calories per each, and a one pound tin is really only two Steve-size servings. My other favorite Christmas candy is Reese's Christmas trees, which are SO much better than the regular peanut butter cups because the peanut butter is so much thicker - MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Reese's peanut butter....

Oh sorry. Got up this morning and made potato pancakes for brekkie out of left over mashed potato. It is my grandmother's recipe, which I finally got the hang of. Also did the washing up, as Lee was exhausted, and not used to doing dishes by hand, as am I. He has such beautiful china and crystal, it is hardly work, as they are a joy to handle. But then I never mind washing up after company. It gives you time to re-live the evening. Plus, dish-washing time for me is kind of the equivalent of meditation, when I work things out, and turn ideas over in my head. Kind of like fishing is for straight men, only without the beer.

That's about it. After marathon shopping in Charlotte, came home, bunged some split peas in the crock pot for soup for this week, and went to bed. Still, was a lovely weekend.

It's so good to feel like myself again. I am just now, finally feeling more like myself in the last two weeks than I have in the last year. I just seemed to snap back into me like a rubber band. I could care less about dating, and don't need a man to complete me. I'm sure I will still be lonely at times, but I no longer feel like a loser just for being single. I would like someone else, sure, and if someone comes along that's great, but I don't feel like I have to have someone again, and have made my peace with the fact that that just may not happen. So be it. There is no reason I can't have a vital and interesting life on my own.

I'm even looking forward to Christmas

Dinner at eight

Lovely day. Got up and jaunted through the jockey lot. Just picked up some fruit and stuff for next week. Ran errands and headed up to Charlotte. Lee and Clayton had invited me to their house for a Christmas party. Wore my new blue hoodie that I got for Christmas. Everything is perfect about it but the neck hole, which is really small. I pulled my earring off changing for dinner tonight when I pulled it over my head.

Stopped at Thai Taste again for lunch on the way up, since I was practically going right by, but got into a bit of a jam. Didn't realize had to go right by the mall up there to get to the restaurant, and it took me a bit longer than I thought, but was worth it. The food, once again, was divine.

After leaving the restaurant, realized I had forgotten my kilt, which I was going to wear to dinner. Will have to wear camoflage pants now, as that is the only other (complete) outfit I have. Sucks, but will have to do. Fortunately, Lee and Clayton are old friends, and will understand.

Got up to Charlotte and shamefully took a nap while Lee finished up dinner. The table was gorgeous, as always. Lee has beautiful things. It was a nice dinner, if a bit dull. Two of the guests were closeted gay republicans, and they were out of their comfort zone, basically. I did what I could to entertain, but sometimes you are limited by your audience. There were two bear guys who were cool, and they invited a cute guy name Marvin that I had met before. He is a pocket bear and Latino also, which I love, and he is attracted to me too. Unfortunately, he lives with his mother, and they are raising two of his cousins that he brought to America. He has an amazingly busy and responsibility-laden life, and really no time to date or have a boyfriend. Still, it was fun to flirt. He is a cute and nice guy, and a smart-ass, which I like.

We started the meal with a cheese plate as an appetizer, which was nice, but kind of wasted on the audience, most of whom were apparently not very culinarily adventuresome. It was kind of like my witty bon mots had been - for the most part, over their heads. Sigh. Sometimes there are drawbacks to living in the South.

Lee had planned a Youtube montage for after dinner that provided fodder for conversation, since those there really didn't have tons in common. It worked out.

Thai Taste, I think I love you

Justin's new apartment, den/conservatory

Got a lovely Christmas card from Faye and Bill, Michael's (my ex) parents. I was quite touched. Had vowed to send no Christmas cards this year, but will have to send them one.

Lovely evening. Went to Spartanburg to see Sweet Justin's new apartment. It is his first apartment, and he was very excited. Since he has been collecting antiques for a while, it is quite cute, and he seems to have a real flair for furniture arranging. We snacked on some appetizers he made (I'm getting the cheese biscuit recipe, they were telish), and looked over his pictures to see how they would be arranged and hung.

Russ and Billy came up as well, and we all went to dinner at the famous Thai Taste restaurant, which I had heard them rave about for years, but which we had never visited. I have to say, it lived up to the hype. The food was fab, and even the Thai tea was exceptional, with the signature grassy notes, and a sensually smoky undertone. I will be back

Was feeling a bit squiffy when I got off work today. Was supposed to go to dinner with John, but he had a headache too, so we called it off. I went and stocked up at CVS, since I was running out of all the things that keep me looking human. I've noticed as I grow older that it takes an increasing array of ointments, lotions, and cosmetics to keep me from scaring small children on the street.

Had french fries for dinner (for the SECOND time this week) because a) I wanted them, and b) rationalized that if my skin is this dry, I must need more fat in my diet. It worked for me anyway. After that I greased up (redundantly or not) and got into bed.

Happy Ending for a Thursday*

Saw John tonight when he got out of choir practice (he plays piano for a church). Lovely.

Although popular at the time, the Christmas special starring the love child of Vincent Price and Eddie Munster failed to achieve classic status.

***

OK, while I was looking for a pic of some Christmas presents to put on yesterday's entry, I found these retro pics, and just couldn't resist. The photos are all stolen, but the captions are mine. Enjoy! HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone!!

YES, I got all you bitches something.

This picture was made right after Alma was given "runner-up" status at the Christmas Hat Party. And right before it took 2 paramedics and a gallon of ointment to treat Jean's "astro-turf burn". Those little trees are just not for internal use.

Later, they explained to little Sally that the Christmas tree skirt goes on the TREE.

Santa DOES know what I really want!!

As soon as I get out of this girdle, I'm finishing that ENTIRE goddamn turkey.

wow Wow WOW!

After getting in from Chistmas shopping my way home last night (light at the end of the tunnel there, only a few gifts left to buy), John called. He is the new guy I started talking to last weekend.

OK, we just couldn't wait to meet any more, and he came over last night. And pretty much blew me away. He's gorgeous, he's sexy, for some reason he seems to find me attractive, and we definitely have chemistry. We had a great time last night, and have made plans to meet for dinner on Thursday. I can't believe this guy just fell into my lap. Literally

Christmas shopping guru

I am done. I have a cake to bake, and have to pick out something for BB. I have no idea what I will get her, she's in a nursing home now. I even found something for my Dad's mom, and she is impossible to buy for.

After that, I went home, stopping to get french fries I really didn't need, but really wanted, finished up some laundry, and fell into bed early. I haven't had a full night's sleep since last Thursday, so it was about time. John called to tell me good night. He is such a sweet guy. Even though I think he wanted to talk more, he knew I was worn out, and told me to go on to sleep.

Second harbinger of Christmas

I guess I should have made a pic before people started eating...

Today was the buffet day at work. We have a seasonal pig-out day a couple of days a year. I used to wonder what to bring, but I now have my Official Assigned Dishes, so I just have to ask which one. The taste of Pat's Cheese Ball, though, is one of the official starters of the season for me. I worked with Pat for years, through two companies. She is a wonderful woman, and was a kind of the sassy grandmother-figure everyone wants to have to the whole department. Everyone adored her. She retired this past year. Since she had given me the recipe for the wonderful cheese ball, I asked for and received official dispensation to be the Bringer of the Ball. This cheese ball is easy, delicious, and for some reason, people are endlessly impressed that you can mold cheese into a ball. Really. No I don't know why. For those of you who are stove-phobic, this is the recipe for you.

Pat's Faboo Holiday Cheese Ball

1 lb cream cheese, or neufchatel, at room temp, or softened

8oz sour cream

hot sauce to taste

4-5 cups cheddar cheese (at least one cup of it finely shredded)

1 envelope Good Seasons salad dressing mix

Combine all ingredients in food processer, reserving one cup of finely shredded cheddar. Begin with the sour cream and salad dressing mix. Even if you don't like hot sauce, add a few dashes, it raises the flavor without making the cheese ball spicy. Chill overnight or for a couple of hours to firm it back up. Then mold the mixture into a ball. Roll or pat on finely shredded cheese to coat. Leftovers are divine melted onto baked potatoes, stirred into a pot of homemade soup, or spread on crusty bread and toasted until browned. But seriously, you may not have a lot of leftovers. This is lip-smacking good.

For those of you wondering, the tray shown is a depression glass handled sandwich plate in the "Doric" pattern, made by the Jeanette Glass Company between 1928 and 1946.

***

This poem is floating in my mind today:

How doth the little crocodile

Improve his shining tail,

And pour the waters of the Nile

On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,

How neatly he spreads his claws,

And welcomes little fishes in,

With gently smiling jaws!

If only love were as simple as the flea market

Woke up to another day of fun. We met Russ at the Barnyard flea market in Duncan, after a brief run through Starbucks. If you haven't been- you need to go! It is great. I have some mixed feelings about it, based on a rumor I heard, but since I don't know whether or not it's true, I won't post it. There are some awesome vendors going in there, and we found lots of cool stuff. My mom and Russ had gotten together to get me a blue hoodie I wanted for Christmas, and Russ brought it with him. It is just what I wanted, and fits great. Mom got me a little Christmas decoration I wanted, since I'm not putting up a tree or anything this year.

As usual we had fun looking at the purty redneck boys, and other people there. There was one woman there whose baby's head was so big, it hurt Russ and I both just to look at him, and of course neither on of us has ever had a child!

After that it was lunch out, Mom and I were both starving. Then she left to go home. I was exhausted - again - on a Sunday. Yeah, act surprised. I took a nap, and then headed over to Russ and Billy's for dinner. We were going to watch a movie, but it got too late. I still had to make a cheese ball for the food day at work tomorrow.

Dinner out with Russ and Billy was nice, as always, despite having a pretty "phoning-it-in" waiter. We caught up on each other's parties, since they had been to three the night before. Honestly, just hearing about their social life makes me tired.

In between the flea marketing and stuff though, something interesting happened. I had a guy IM me through Bear411. He was hot, and thought I was hot. We exchanged emails, and started emailing back and forth. He is cute, a bit kinky, and able to construct a complete sentence! He also plays the piano. I love musical men. They're intense, have great hands, and are willing to practice over and over until they get it right. Plus, I have always had a secret fantasy about having a piano player lover, so I could just go in anywhere and go "HIT IT, JOHNNIE!" and go into a show at a moment's notice. This guy is a concert pianist though, so I guess he would be the star. But still. How great is that?

I talked to him some more on the phone on the way home. He is a very sexy guy. I finally just asked him what was wrong with him, since he seemed so perfect (for those of you thinking this is unfair, I am perfectly willing to answer this question about myself, to potential new boyfriends); and he told me. So it isn't going to be the fairy tale ending I had hoped for, and I have some thinking to do. Still, it's nice to know going in. I have mixed feelings, but I am very attracted to him. Among other things, he is 9 years younger than me. That could be an issue, although not the main one. I am going to at least meet him, though, before I make any decisions. I have been trying to pre-qualify guys as husband material way too quickly. It would be nice just to go to dinner with a good looking funny guy that I like. Maybe I can put decisions off for a while. Although, I feel the stirrings of great passion. I could be wrong though. Lord knows I am often enough.

Even if things don't work out, though, it is very encouraging to me that there are guys like him out there in the state. Maybe I won't have to decide between my home and my love life.

With all this spinning in my head, I finished my cheese ball, and crawled to the bed.

Shopping, dropping, rising again

Today was the shopping day with Mom. We do our Christmas with each other as a shopping trip. We usually have one thing we're looking for that we can never find, but we spend the day together and always have fun.

Mother loves to go out to breakfast, so we started our day at the K&S, a little country restaurant near my house, were you can usually get breakfast for two for under $10. Mom likes going there, and it is a neat little place. They also have a great flounder plate, if you like that. A generous portion (usually the fish is sticking off the plate), with fries, slaw, and hush puppies, for about $7. It's a great deal. After several cups of coffee, and me getting all melty watching the beauty of a redneck man have breakfast with his little girl, we were off. Mom wanted a jacket she had seen at Target, which we got, so I was able to give my gift idea for her Christmas to my sister. Mom can be a bit hard to buy for, but nothing like Dad.

I got a cool Old Navy shirt with a bear on it (yay), and a silicone basting brush I had been wanting, which we just happened to run across at Big Lots for nothing. We had lunch out at Jason's, which Mother just loves. Apparently there isn't one in Columbia, or she hasn't found it. I try to spoil her a bit, because she spends so much time doing for others, and doesn't get that much done for her usually.

After a run through the furniture place, we were home to rest up and get ready for Donnie's (aka D'relda D'remus) Christmas party.

D'relda's party has become one of the few harbingers of the holidays for me. It is always fun, and I always love seeing everyone. There are some people that I only see at the Christmas Party and the Hat Party (more on that later). There's always a dirty Santa gift exchange, which can be a bit heated at times. People bring some good stuff, and sometimes the gifts are a bit hotly contested. I brought a drunken Santa this year, a little electronic dancing gizmo that didn't go over nearly as well as I thought it would, but then I never know what's going to be hot. Last year it was a little electronic humping Chihuahua, and one year it was a picture. This year, it was a picture too, and there was a bit o drama.

Donnie's cousin, Marty, is not only a dear person, but a fairly gifted photographer. She framed and matted several of her pictures into a frame for the gift exchange. They were stolen twice (surely you have all played Dirty Santa), and were out of the game. Well one guest at the party (whom I shall not name), stole those pictures after they were out of the game, and was heading for his car with them. Donnie had to put me in charge of the gift game while he went out to get them back. Thankfully, it was resolved without a fuss.

I made a spectacular mistake at that party one year, but completely by mistake. I don't think I can tell that story now, but I was horribly embarrassed. I hope everyone has forgotten it. No one mentioned it anyway.

I have to say, after a day of shopping, I was pretty worn out, and really didn't feel like going to the party, but once we got there and I had a drink and started talking to people, Party Steve showed up, and I had a great time. It really was good to see everyone, and Mom had a good time too. There is always a good mix of gay and straight at the party, and she always enjoys it.

On the way home, it's always more fun to have someone to re-hash the party with. After a midnight snack, we hit the sack. Tomorrow is flea market day!! Yay!~

And it finally feels like Christmas

The best laid plans of mice and men...

Mother got in on schedule, just as I finished the last-minute cleaning. After a glass of wine and a bit of talk, we boldly set forth to Sassafras.

Unfortunately, the dinner was not all for which I had hoped. They had put my reservation down for Thursday instead of Friday, and called me Thursday night to ask where I was. They told me it would be no problem to get me in on Friday, but I wonder if they were over-booked. We were stuck in the back room with a large and VERY loud office Christmas party that just seemed to go on and on. When they first took us back, I thought they would be leaving soon, but they finished the food, had drinks, opened presents, gave speeches, and generally annoyed the piss out of me the whole time we were there. And we were there for a while. We had decided what we were having long before the waiter took our order. I had some difficulty ordering there, because apparently the chef uses Tasso ham (whatever the hell that is) like salt. It was in the seafood dishes. It was in the special. It was in the pasta. And all the sauces were pre-prepped, so I couldn't get them made without the ham.

After ordering, we waited almost an hour for our food. That would have been OK if we could have talked. But we were basically having to scream at each other over the table because the endless Christmas party was so loud. I have to say that when we did get our food, it was both hot, and very good. Despite the big party, the waiter was reasonably attentive; but he brought me a side of grits that obviously had chicken broth in them, despite that during the ordering process I had told him I didn't eat meat. That kind of pissed me off. They did bring us a free dessert (unsolicited) for Mother's birthday, which was nice. But honestly at that point, for me it was a little too little, a little too late. The food was good, and if you eat meat, and went after the holidays, you would probably have a nicer experience than we did, but I really don't have any time set to go back. There are just too many other places to eat that aren't so noisy, and where I don't have such a hard time ordering.

As we left, the loud party continued.

After dinner we walked around downtown, looking at the lights, window shopping and talking. Despite all, it was a nice evening. Mom and I are close, and because we were estranged for a while when I was growing up, I think we appreciate our relationship more than some moms and sons do. Mom and I have a lot in common, and tend to look at things in similar ways. We really enjoy each others company. And of course, we gay boys, especially Southern ones, just love our mamas.

Small rant about the relative kinkiness of available men

Would the man with the right level of kinkiness please stand up?

Double entendre fully intended. Since I have been back out in the dating market this has been my biggest frustration. Either the guys I meet want shackles of commitment welded to your ankle before they’ll even think about sex, or they live their life in a perpetual pole-vault from one penis to the next. Is there no middle ground? Doesn’t anyone just enjoy sex occasionally with someone they like? And what is the deal with these bragging rights about how long it has been since you had sex? I don’t understand that one either.

As to the kinkiness level. I like to mix things up every now and again. I like to have a little adventure with my boyfriend (if I have one). But all I meet are missionary-position-ONLY-until-we-die (of old age or boredom, but would it really matter?) OR the guys who want to change the oil in a tractor while I stand over them dressed as Janet Reno and drizzle kangaroo saliva on their left nipple. What is the damn deal?

OK, rant over; I will now continue my meaningful relationship with the disc drive of my computer. Thank you for your kind attention.

After pulling All To My Will at work yesterday, headed home to finish up the house for Mom to come. Stopped to do some shopping on the way home, because I had talked to Russ about getting gifts for him and Billy. I had emailed them both yesterday about what to buy for the other one - neither of them were a damn bit of help. Russ owns everything in the known universe that he wants, and Billy, I guess since he lives with Russ, doesn't really want anything. So I'm back at square one on gifts for them.

I went by Whole Foods again last night, only to find that they have removed the shelf tag for Quorn Turkey Roasts completely. After talking to 3 different employees, I was told that none of their suppliers have any. They are shipped here from the UK (which I guess is why they are so fricking expensive), and they have apparently gone the way of the dodo. No one seems to know why. Grr. Of course they have plenty of those nasty Tofurkeys, at $12 (!! - on sale!) apiece. I wouldn't mind that as much, if they weren't filled with stuffing. I can do my own dressing, for a hellvua lot less that $6 a pound, thank you very much. So I guess it's turkeyless holidays for me this year.

By the time I got home, I had a bad case of the don't-give-a-damns. Mom is always telling me I don't have to clean for her to come. I guess I'll find out whether or not that's true. The shower is clean, and I did the toaster oven (which really needed it) and the microwave. I'll do a quick vacuum job tomorrow after work, and call it a day.

Talked for a while to yet another evangelist assimilationist I met on match.com for a while. Favorite quote from the conversation: "If anybody fucks me that isn't in love with me, I'll cut their dick off." The search continues. It's a shame. He's awfully cute.

Well I got my desk back under control today, thank goodness.

Boring night. Took off the recycling before it ate the house, cleaned up the latest cat vomit, and made the Mom tea. Whenever Mom comes, I make some of her super sweet decaffeinated tea, since she's switched to help with osteoporosis. I used to drink her tea growing up, but I can't drink it now, you can eat that stuff over pancakes. It is a small miracle I am not diabetic.

To bed early so I can scrub the shower in the morning. I'm kind of trying to decide what I have to do before she gets here. It's always a judgment call, since her house is always spotless, and my house is one big spot usually.

I'm taking her out for her birthday, which is today. I couldn't get in to The Peppermill, so I'm taking her to Sassafras instead. I thought about taking her to La Bastide, the French place here in town, but I think that would have made me happier than it did her. I think she'll be happier where we're going, and I know they have excellent shrimp and grits.

Another rough day at work. I'm trying to get year end done, and the auditors are on the way now too, so the year end audit fell in my lap. And after getting over $300k in new clients last month, I have more coming! Joy! And of course my year end work has to still be perfect, because my boss is flying to CA to present it this month. Plus, I found a big error in my work that means I have to do a lot of it over, and one of the people I need information from is out of the office this week, and this presentation is due tomorrow. The fun just goes on and on.

I did get my cooking done last night, finally. I ate peanut butter again for lunch yesterday, although I had some of the Nicole Kidman green beans to go with it, that's getting old. I made veggie beef-a-roni with zucchini, which turned out OK, but which I messed up by putting some red wine in it. When you're going for a Chef Boyardee-esque flavor, you just can't use things like wine. The tannins threw my flavor base off, but it's still OK.

I should have gone to bed earlier, but I became fascinated by a documentary on WE called "Painted Babies" about child beauty pageants. I thought JonBenet Ramsey was a fluke - the unusual product of one mother's driving ambition, but that is just not the case. There were rows and rows of these little JonBenet clones marching around on this stage in bizarre, sexualized toddlerhood. It was like a train wreck. I couldn't peel my eyes off of it. Now my sisters did a few pageants when we were kids, but they were nothing like this. The "pros" who were obviously products of numerous lessons and much coaching were the anomaly then. In this, they were the rule. The western wear outfit one of the girls wore cost $1,000.00! I am 40, and I still have never owned any outfit that cost that much. All her competition clothes were custom made, and her mother spent about $3,500.00 per year on pageant outfits. Let me remind you this child was FOUR. She was in this competition for a new car, because her grandmother needed a car.

The most interesting parts were the interviews with the adults. They focused on two mothers whose daughters were the front-runners to win the Miss Southern Charm in Atlanta. The mother of the girl who won was not a terribly attractive woman, and very obviously was living through her daughter, true to stereotype. Her husband wouldn't be interviewed, and apparently did not go to the pageants. When the little girl was crowned, it was the mother who was crying. The girl seemed to take it in stride. By the same token, it was the parents who appeared very excited about the competition. The shots of the kids showed they were mostly bored.

Apparently this is a major pageant. Interviews with the mothers and grandmothers were interspersed with pageant footage and clips of two admittedly pretty 4 year olds in disturbing hooker makeup, either strutting exaggeratedly on stage, or belting out adult songs they could not possibly understand with tone-deaf abandon. So I stayed up an extra hour to see who won, flushing a disturbing hour of my life down the drain.

Favorite quotes:

Grandmother: She was perfect, she looked just like a Barbie Doll up there!

Q: Do you like her looking like a Barbie Doll?

Grandmother: Well she is a Barbie Doll.

***

Pageant organizer (instructing judges):

Now we know they are going to wear makeup, but we want a child who looks natural, and certainly don't want her to appear sexual in any way. Fortunately, with babies, it's almost impossible to have them look sexual.

***

Q: Do you ever have to push her to get her to do this?

A: Well not really push, no, but sometimes encourage. Sometimes she doesn't feel like doing things, just like sometimes I don't feel like getting up and going to work in the morning. But sometimes you have to do things you don't feel like doing.

***

Q: Why do you compete (to child in the pageant)?

A: Well I compete for prizes, and cars, and money money money! (This said with childish glee, while her mother and grandmother beamed in the background.)

***

After it was over, one of the little girls came in third. Her mother was distraught, and y0u could tell she was on the verge of tears. Her father was there, and he seemed upset too. The girl took it better than either of them, reminding them that she was supposed to be a good sport and congratulate the other girls. It was odd to see this 4-year-old child who was apparently more mature than her parents. It was a strange clip.

It was a rough day today. I was dead. Fortunately, the cafeteria at work does fancy coffee on Mondays, so I had a cup of that, and more with lunch. I started the day with a screamer, though, and that is always a rough start to the week, particularly on not enough sleep. I didn't do my cooking yesterday, so I had peanut butter for lunch today.

But I did go see Miss Kat, Dana, and Helen tonight. That was nice. We watched "The Year Without a Santa Claus", one of my favorite old Rankin/Bass Christmas specials, and ate fresh-baked cookies. I love the little Heat Miser and Cold Miser floor/drag shows, and so does Miss Kat. I also love the way Mother Nature talks "Buh-OYS PUH-lease!" We thought that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was coming on afterwards, but it was some crappy sequel done in the 90's in lousy CGI that was about as charming as a turd in the punch bowl, so we switched over to old "Designing Women" re-runs and watched the great big 80's hair and drag queen/vampira makeup. It was a great evening

THREE entries yesterday - geez.

OK so the Jinx alarm went off at 7:30am this morning. For those who don't know, Jinx is one of my two cats, my lil furball o fatness. I got on up to straighten up the house, because I knew Russ and the boys would be coming by to go to the flea market. We went to the Anderson Jockey Lot the biggest (only) tourist attraction in Anderson. I LOVE the Jockey Lot. We saw the whole thing, walked our legs off, looked at the cute redneck boys, and I got a little picture that I couldn't resist. Graham bought lots of stuff.

After that we went to Brixx for pizza - their food is fab, and it's the only place in town I can get goat cheese on a pizza. Apparently Graham is like Justin as far as not having tried a lot of different foods, but after they negotiated over what they each would and would not eat, they deconstructed a pizza enough to be happy with it.

Then it was off to the mall. Russ is a shopaholic, and always is working a deal. He wanted to look at some new shelves for his barber shop. They were nice, but the ones he has now are fine, and he decided not to get them. He did get a great deal on a bunch of ornaments for the shop though.

We also checked out this new place at the mall called Tea Junction. It was a neat place, and Justin was in heaven, since he's in to tea pretty heavily. It was a bit of a "gotcha" kind of store though. They had us sample some tea that was good, but then when we asked if we could buy it, they said it was a specialty drink they made there, and we would have to buy it there. So I get in line to get a cup. Then they guy working there asked if he could help me, and I told him what I wanted, and then he was like "well those people were next". So I'm just standing there thinking, well why the F did you ask me then? Anyway. I finally got my tea ordered, and after waiting for like 15 minutes, finally got it. The tea was good, but I don't know that I'm going to be making a special trip to go to that place again.

After a break for me, I went back over to Russ and Billy's to watch Ratatouille, which I had really been looking forward to seeing. It was more wonderful than I was expecting, and so nice to see it with friends.

Finally home at midnight. Sigh. I'm gonna be dead tomorrow.

I had a lovely day Saturday. After I was released from the Guantanamo sleep study center, I went home and slept for three hours. I was drunk as a lord on sleeping pills still. Then I went to the flea market to do some grocery shopping. I got some zucchini to do veggie beef-a-roni with zucchini, and some of the most beautiful green beans I have ever seen in December. Also bought some lovely avocados, and came home to make a California Club:

California Club Sandwich

Two or three pieces good whole wheat bread

Tomato

Lettuce

American Cheese

Sliced avocado

French's fried onions (like for green bean casserole)

Mayo

You can use one piece of bread in the middle, like in a real club, which makes the sandwich much more stable; but this makes the sandwich too big to fit in my mouth, so I usually leave it out. The crunchy onions take the place of the bacon, and with the creaminess of the avocado, this is really exquisite, if somewhat messy.

***

After eating lunch, I snapped beans while I drooled over Simon Pegg (the cutest, most adorable man EVER) since "Shaun of the Dead" was on TV. Then I put my beans on and messed around online for a while. I called Billy, and headed over there for dinner. We were supposed to meet Justin and Graham again, but they called to say they would join us later for the auction. We had dinner at "Compadres", a new Mexican place near my house. The food was really lovely, and the waiter we had was even more beautiful. We were all in love. Sigh.

After that we met the boys and went to the auction. Miss Kat, Dana, and Helen were there, and it was good to see them. I got another present off my gift list, and enjoyed myself to the bargain.

THEN we went back to Russ and Billy's for a game night. It was 3am before I got home, and I was WHOOPED; and had to be up the next morning for the Jockey Lot at 9am.

OK, when I went looking for the pic of the shampoo for my other entry, I found this GREAT pseudo-retro "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific" shampoo girl model. I just had to put her picture in, even though she has nothing to do with the entry, because a) she's ghetto fabulous; and b) Justin will shit with jealousy when he sees this fab pic on my blog. Tootles

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was at this dinner, and there were a bunch of people there. Someone next to me that I didn't know suddenly turned to me, and was like "Wow! You're hair smells great!", and then other people started coming up to me and smelling my hair. Then this voice of authority behind me goes "Now wait, wait a minute!" So I'm thinking they're going to restore order. Then they say "Who all here wants to smell Steve's hair?" And all these hands go up! And then my authority says "Fine, that's fine, but not all at once, just come up by fives, otherwise it's too overwhelming!" I am dumbfounded. I look over at my friend beside me, and she's like, "Are you going to let them do this?" And I said "Well I guess there's no harm in it, why not?" Well during all this time, people have been coming over to smell my hair. They all the sudden, one of them says "Wow, his clothes smell really good too!" And then all these people started smelling my clothes. The thought goes across my mind that I'm really glad I took a shower before I came, and that dream sequence ended with all these people smelling me all over.

I know where that came from though. I didn't have time to take a shower before I went for the sleep study last night, and I was a bit self-conscious when the guy was gluing wires all over me. I was afraid I would offend. His name was Sylvester, and he was very nice, very laid back, and an attractive guy, except for the little Billy D Williams mustache; a look I have never been able to get into. Still it was nice to have someone so pleasant to chat with while he hooked me up, which takes 30-45 minutes. I had TCM on the TV in the bedroom, and we were chatting about old movies. As a het, he was greatly impressed with my knowledge of vintage cinema trivia, even though I know no more than your average ole run-of-the-mill gay guy. I did see a clip from an old Crawford pic I haven't seen yet that I would like to catch some time, but didn't get the name. Maybe Sweet Justin will know.

I did have time to go out to dinner with Russ, Billy, Justin, and his new beau Graham. I was a little apprehensive about meeting Graham, but things went well. We ended up going to some little country place where the food wasn't that great, aside from a fabulous piece of fried catfish, and some cheesecake that was really good (real, thank goodness, brought in frozen). But it was only $5, so I guess you can't ask for much. We just had time for dinner before I had to leave to go to the hospital.

***

Well my lack of sleep study is over, thank God. I've been in a great mood today, but I'm not sure if its because of the extra oxygen last night, or just because I'm so damn glad that its OVER. It took me an hour and a half and two sleeping pills to get to sleep last night. It is very hard to sleep with a refrigerated leaf-blower blowing up your nose. After I finally got to sleep, they woke me up after three hours because the pressure was turned up so high. I basically passed back out because of all the drugs in me after they turned the pressure down some. I slept for another three hours, then the damn thing woke me up again. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and you can't move because of all the wires glued all over you. At that point, half-asleep, I reached up and loosened the strap and moved the thing off my nose. Just as I was going back to sleep, the attendant said he could tell I had moved the mask, and asked me if I wanted to sleep there the rest of the night, or go home. Drugged out of my mind, I managed to drive home, and collapsed for another three hours of sleep. So since I rarely get nine hours of sleep, I don't feel sleepy today, but I'm not sure what all this came from. I know that I can get up two times a night and wake up at 5am without an expensive machine to help me do it.

Reasons that it sucks to be me

As some of you do not know, I have the worst luck with slow people in the world. This is either God making me pay for my impatience, or Vishnu forcing me to pay back some kind of rushing karma from a former life. I was in a huge hurry this morning, because I had errands to run this morning before work. This is how it went:

- Rushed to the Spinx, delighting to find an open pump. When I pulled up, however, not only was there a huge SUV trying to get to it as well, there was some man standing there with no car doing something with the pump. He didn't look as if he worked there. It turned out he ran a yard service or something, and was using pumps on BOTH sides of the island to fill gas cans. Grrr.

- Rushed into the grocery store for fruit, and grabbed a couple of bananas for lunch. Got to the one open register to find a senior citizen there (at 8 freakin AM!!) buying her groceries - with a handful of coupons. The diligent cashier went through every coupon, making sure it was being used appropriately. After this process was completed, the woman began writing a calligraphy check, carefully crossing each t, making little flourishes, etc with her arthritic hands, all the while carrying on a leisurely conversation with the cashier, who delightedly informed us all that the the calligrapher attended the same church she did.

- Rushed to the CVS to pick up the sleeping pills I have to have for tonight. There were two cars waiting at the "convenient drive-thru" window, since they routinely let people sit there while their prescriptions are filled. How does this save time? Go IN the fricking store! Well I had dropped my prescription off yesterday so I could just dash by and get it today, but I had to get out and go in. When I left, the same two cars were parked at the window.

- Peeled out of the parking lot, now late for work. I have to make a right at the light to get onto the road. Of course, there was some nimno sitting in the right hand lane, not turning, when there was a perfectly good forward only lane right beside him.

The Rules

Generally when I enter any public roadway, there is apparently a beacon that goes out, telling all senior citizens (particularly old women who appear behind the wheel as a puff of white hair and knuckles, and particularly any man who fought in WWI and wears a hat) that it is GO time. Said bulletin also apparently contains my description (although of course the slow people in my area all recognize me by sight) and my destination, along with the notice that the time to run their errands is NOW. If by chance I am headed to the grocery store, an additional bulletin goes out to any backwoods family with at least 20 children that NOW is the time to come down from the hills and stock up on the staples they have been needing.

My entry into any store stimulates every register to need the tape changed, and for half the cashiers to end their shift. The other half go on break. I stand and watch the speedy, efficient and friendly cashier that checked out the person before me leave, to be replaced with the clerk hired under the store's new "Nell outreach program". Any competent cashier stranded at the register as I approach must either force their register to crash, or spontaneously decapitate.

When I approach a teller or a self-check in a store, there is invariably some person in front of me who recently either escaped from captivity, or immigrated to this country from somewhere there is no electricity. They are therefore endlessly both intrigued and mystified by the wonders of any computerized anything. In the case of the self-check, they will also be enrolled in at least three public assistance programs, the items for which must be totaled separately. In the case of the ATM, this person will be doing ALL the yearly banking for some small, disorganized country.

Rich Spinach Casserole

This is one of my own recipes, thought I would share it with you, since I'm sending it to a friend today:

2 lbs frozen chopped spinach, thawed
1 large onion, chopped
1/2 cup toasted pine nuts
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
3/4 pound shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese
2 tubes Ritz crackers, crushed
2-3 Tbs butter

Sautee onion in butter or margarine until caramelized. Add spinach, and cook on low just to remove excess moisture. When mostly dry, remove from heat and set aside to cool. When cooled, add pine nuts, eggs, buttermilk, and 3/4 of the Ritz crackers, reserving a quarter of them for the topping. Last, mix in the cheese and put into a greased casserole dish. Melt butter or margarine in a small saucepan, and add reserved cracker crumbs, tossing until all butter is absorbed. Sprinkle over the casserole, and bake at 350 for about 45 minutes to an hour.

***Buttered crumbs are great, but usually I only do that kind of fatness at Thanksgiving. For a healthier version, sub out the Ritz crackers in the body of the casserole with re-hydrated Bulgar wheat. Leave it a bit dry so it will soak up the spinach juice, etc, in the oven and bind the casserole. Instead of buttered crumbs, sprinkle the top lightly with Parmesan cheese.

"Her life went on being fairly tedious."

OK, I totally stole this from Sweet Justin's blog, because it is so perfect for me right now. Esp after reading his blog and about his life...

Also blatantly stolen from Sweet Justin's blog:

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply;
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in the winter stands a lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet know its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone;
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

I heard that poem years ago on the Writer's Almanac on NPR, and it made a huge impression on me. I'm afraid that I was a little rough on Justin today for having it on his blog. He is a very smart and sensitive guy, but he's just too young to understand it, although I have no doubt he can appreciate its beauty. The summer still sings in him. At 22, I don't think he can possibly know what it is to look back on that summer as a memory, and wonder how much song remains in your life, if any.

Yet another productive day at work, except for a run-in with a rogue sales rep. Sigh. They pump those guys full of motivational tapes, and throw them behind a phone, still foaming at the mouth, and then we have to train them to actually work within the system. As long as I've been doing it, it is still exasperating.

Brings me to another theme I've been noticing lately. I have much less patience with bullshit than I used to have. Growing older, it seems people either go one way or another. Either you become more patient and able to deal with it all, or you realize the clock is ticking, and you just don't have time to listen to a bunch of crap you've heard before, when you know what the outcome is going to be already anyway. I kind of wish I was more like the patient and kind Mrs. Claus, but as time goes by, I seem to get more and more like Maxine on the Hallmark cards. I really feel, a lot of times, like "been there, done that, know how this is ending, let's just shortcut this". I have to really try hard not to cut people off sometimes; and even a lot of times when I'm successful, I still hear Maxine's voice in my head. It's not good, because that's how you get crotchety and close-minded, which I don't want to be. Still, some people do appreciate my ability to get to the bottom line expediently - to get to the heart of things. I just have to remember to do that only when I'm ASKED to do it LOL. Also, it does make me more appreciative of the wonderful older people I have known in my life who took the time to listen to me, even though they had heard and experienced it all before. I am going to try to be more like them.

Last night was a good night. Russ had to cancel my haircut, but that was OK, I was busy anyway. I went to see Miss Kat, Dana, and Helen. I had a lovely time, as always. Dana has a cold, bless her heart. She works so hard.

We had a great visit, and since I was feeling very loquacious last night, I just told stories. It was nice just to sit around and talk, and I love to make them laugh. Helen came up for a while and talked to us. She spends a lot of time in her "apartment" downstairs.

I also took them the last of the pumpkin squares, which they really enjoyed. I had one with them. They were better than I remembered them being. I may have to make another pan of them sooner than I thought...

So I got in about 10:30, tired, but with the pleasant flush of good company to see me off to sleep

Where I proceeded to have weird Kafka dreams all night. I was at the campout with no desserts, which is my campout job. They had decided to do Japanese food, and it was my job to come up with desserts that would complete the theme. I could think of only two Japanese desserts, Umeboshi paste on rice cakes, which I wasn't sure everyone would eat, and the other one I couldn't remember, try as I might. For some reason one of the guys from work was there, and he was just tickled with the Umeboshi idea, since he loved it, and I kept trying to explain that not everyone would eat it, and that it would cost a lot and be difficult to lay hands on enough to feed everyone. I woke up still trying to explain it to him. Don't know what the heck that was all about!

***

Pumpkin Pie Bars

18 1/2	ounces Pillsbury yellow cake mix
1/2	cup butter, melted
4	eggs
1 (30	ounce) can solid pack pumpkin
1	cup sugar, divided
1/2	cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2/3	cup evaporated milk
1 1/2	teaspoons cinnamon
1/2	cup chopped walnuts
1/4	cup butter, softened

Preheat oven to 350 and grease and flour a 13x9 baking pan.

1. Remove 1 cup of the cake mix; reserve. In small bowl, lightly beat 1 egg. In large bowl, stir together remaining cake mix, melted butter and the beaten egg.
2. Press into prepared pan.
3. In large bowl, lightly beat remaining 3 eggs, Stir in the pumpkin, 1/2 cup of the sugar, brown sugar, evaporated milk and cinnamon. Pour over cake mixture in pain. To the 1 cup reserved cake mix, add remaining 1/2 cup sugar, walnuts and softened butter; mix until crumbly. Sprinkle over pumpkin mixture.
4. Bake 50-60 minutes, Serve warm or cold.

I used pecans instead of walnuts, but either way, use raw nuts. I roasted mine first, and they got a bit too done. I mixed a bar of cream cheese into the pumpkin recipe just for the heck of it. This turned out a lot better than it sounds!