Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A post in which I return to the outside world

I had a terrible night’s sleep last night. I was up three or four times, and lay awake mostly after 4am, but I was determined not to get up one moment before the alarm went off. That would make it all go faster, and I would have to face the outside world sooner. I had bad dreams when I did nod off.

I went to work today. It wasn’t easy, but I went. I clung tenaciously to my routine and just pretended that it was an ordinary day. It wasn’t. When it got close to time to leave, I broke out in a cold sweat all over, and my stomach hurt all the way to work.

Work, though, went surprisingly well. I was able to just use it as a distraction. I got stuck in and actually got a good bit of work done today.

I wanted to reward myself afterwards by going out to eat, but the fridge is full. Plus I really don’t need to be eating more crap. More importantly, it would have been more time out of the house, and I really wanted to get home.

dana showed up on my doorstep tonight. Just when I really needed her the most, she brought a nice delivery of common sense and the good part of the outside world. She stayed for a visit and talked to me for a while. By the time she left I was feeling much more like my old self.

I had chores I needed to do tonight, which I eventually made myself get up and see to. I cut up a watermelon for fruit this week, took out the garbage, and washed the cat blanket (which was nasty). When I finished up, I put in Kill Bill Part 1 and watched Uma Thurman kick ass for a while. That usually makes me feel better too.

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