When my eyes opened, though, I got moving.
First I glazed the cake. The last time I did this glaze I ended up with a Shrek cake that tasted fine, but looked like kaka-doodie. I trusted my instincts and veered from the recipe this morning, despite the time constraints. The cake turned out gorgeous. It’s the prettiest one I’ve made since Miss Ruby died last summer. That was a great relief. I thought to myself, well if a pretty one was going to come out, this was a good time for it to happen. Then all I had to worry about was the other 2,000,000 things I had to do before I could leave town.
Having attended to those, finishing packing, loading the car, getting myself ready, and packing up the cake, I was off.
I went by the shop to drop off the cake. I had told Eve I was making it for her, and I was, but I also just couldn’t let Lisa be trapped for a week at the beach with them without at least the promised chocolate cake. Although it rushed me for time, I am really glad I made the cake. I can leave town with a clear conscience. Plus it would just have seemed so wrong to leave for a leather event with a broken promise hanging over me!
I picked up lil Rhondee and we hit the bricks. She’s my traveling companion, and it just feels natural to have her in the car with me. Since this is the third time in three months, that road to Atlanta is getting pretty familiar also. We stopped at a Chinese buffet we like for lunch, and headed on in to town. Unlike last year, the mio took me right to the hotel; the first time - which was pleasant.
We got the checking in done, etc, and just laid around for a while in the room. I was actually pretty whooped just from all the prep. Thankfully my E-B has backed off, which is a mercy. After resting for a bit Rhondee when on downstairs to smoke, and I got curious and followed her shortly after. I just hate the thoughts of missing anything at SELF. Kinky people are so interesting. We milled around and greeted people we knew, eventually running in to Lady Beth, Lynn, and Bart.
Lady Beth of course is our beloved Matriarch, Lynn is her girl, and Bart is Lynn’s beau. She brought him along to SELF this year so he could get a taste of the life. Apparently he’s kinky, but hasn’t really been a part of the community previously.
We eventually all ended up at supper in a nice little pub near the hotel. Lady Beth and I went out for a smoke and a break and were talking. She asked me to play!! I was AGOG. But of course I said yes. She had mentioned it in passing before, and I had done an email to her at her request on play experiences, preferences, etc. She had told me that we would play at some point, but frankly I hadn’t expected her to have the time at SELF. She’s a very important Lady, not just to our family, but to the community; plus she has very limited time with Lynn, who lives in Texas. For her to single me out for attention at such a busy time was a great honor and compliment.
When we got back to the hotel, we were all milling around and visiting. Lady Beth prepared to go upstairs, looked at me, and said “My room, 9pm.” We had already talked about the fact that Lynn and Bart would be there, which was no problem for me.
I went up to the room, took a cool shower, and collected myself a bit. I’m a lot less nervous before scenes now, but there’s still that frisson of fear/anticipation/excitement before a scene. Especially a scene with The Matriarch! Who is a sadist! But I know, love, and trust Lady Beth. I knew in my heart it would be fine.
And it was. It was a lovely, affectionate, and loving scene. She did play with me, and she hurt me, but she gave me a lot of what I like too. The hotel room made the scene surprisingly intimate and relaxed. I had previously played mostly in public play space. Lynn was very sweet too, and took part in the scene, talking to me and such. She was very gracious. I’m glad she was there. She’s been Lady Beth’s girl for eleven years, and it just seemed right that she was present.
Afterwards, Lady Beth took a little time with just me, to do some aftercare and just love on me a bit. I was on cloud 9 needless to say. Then we went back to Bart and Lynn’s room for a visit and a talk. Bart was full of questions and comments. As I say, he’s fairly new to the scene, and new to public play.
He made the comment that there was something he felt he missed in the scene. He was having a hard time articulating it, and ended up kind of leading us to a distraction, saying he had been prepared for the scene to go into humiliation play – certainly a hard limit for me, and something that Lady Beth patiently explained that she could never do. It’s just not her style. I was pretty flummoxed at how he came to that conclusion.
***
While we were talking, Lady Beth decided to teach me a lesson. While we were in the lobby tonight after dinner, she had seen a beautiful gay leather man. There was a small group of them there, starved and exercised into matching clones of lean perfection. “You should go talk to him.” Lady Beth suggested. “Lady Beth,” I explained “those guys are completely out of my league.” But bless her, she loves me, and thinks I’m great, so she just thinks everyone else is going to think so too. I tried to explain it to her. So I’m talking about the way the gay world is structured, according to a strict hierarchy of attractiveness. One of the chief grades on the scale is body fat percentage. Let’s just say I am over the 2% ideal that it takes to remain in the upper echelon. Lynn chimed right in with Lady Beth. “But you have such good energy, and you’re such a sweet guy!” “That doesn’t matter;” I explained. “They care nothing for content. It’s all about pecs and abs, neither of which I have.” Well actually content does matter to some extent, but you have to pass the packaging test first.
“I’m going to teach you a lesson,” Lady Beth said. “Stand here.” She stood me up and leaned me against the entertainment center. Then she knelt beside me. Even as it was happening, I couldn’t believe it was happening! Gob smacked doesn’t even begin to cover it. Lady Beth said not a word, but knelt beside me in complete silence. I had no idea what to do. Should I touch her? I did, resting my hand on her shoulder. Oh my God that seems so condescending! I moved my hand. My brain was on melt-down. All I could hear in my head was wrong, wrong, WRONG! Deer in the headlights doesn’t begin to cover it. I felt like a flea in front of a steam-roller. Eventually, among the defcon-1 alarms going off in my head, a little thought came through OK, I can’t move her. How can I make this right? With great relief, I just knelt down with her, at which point she and Lynn burst into laughter. But man, did I feel relieved.
I told Miss Kat later that had I called Dionne’s Psychic Friends, and they had told me that before the weekend was over that Lady Beth would kneel beside me, I would have made them refund my money. But the lesson about the power of offering submission is indelibly burned into my mind, I have to say.
***
When I got back to the room, Rhonda was getting ready for bed, but we went downstairs to smoke and say our good nights before we turned in. It was a lovely evening. The heat had burned off from the day, and the evening air was soft and humid as only a warm southern night can be. I didn't really talk much. I sat and smoked, and thought about what a lucky boy I was. As I sat outside smoking, I realized that I had a bit of Lady Beth's perfume on my face. If I turned my head quickly, I could get little wafts of her scent. I sat there looking like an idiot, turning my head suddenly to get little whiffs of her.
As we went back inside, we stopped to talk to Wilenda, another Kindred member. I love her. She's a petite little blond with three children and a tender heart the size of a Toyota. I had tried to do a little favor for her to hopefully help make her trip better, and she complimented me on my thoughtfulness. How like Wilenda. She knew that I'm challenging myself to lead with my heart, which is why I did it, and that's what she commended me for. When I serve the Kindred, I feel like a child wanting to run in from school and say "Look at the pretty picture I made!!" Wilenda told me that my picture was pretty tonight, and it made me feel fantastic. I know this shameful desire for praise needs to be tempered at some point. Service for the sake of service should be reward enough, but I reveled tonight in her praise.
But I floated on back to my room and went to bed. I fell asleep with a heart full of gratitude, happy little tears soaking into my blindfold. Happy, happy, happy steve.
The night view from the hotel portico, where we were smoking. It was quiet and peaceful at this time of night, with pools of light softening the darkness.
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