A post in which I look a gift horse in the mouth, and finally start hatting again

Eventually.

I did start off the day by calling Al. He came through the kinky talk OK, so I wanted to get some other things out of the way so I could quit worrying about them. He came through it all in stride, and he has a great voice.

I went to the grocery store on the way home, ate dibs and dabs out of the fridge, washed the shower curtain, etc. But I finally got the hat out and got back to work tonight. Thank goodness. I did make some good progress, and I don't think it will be a problem to finish.

Al and I have stayed in touch, and talked all day today. He actually sent me a very nice and reassuring message after our talk this morning.

He is a sweet, funny man, but I can't help but wonder about his job. He just seems to work all. the. time. I tried seeing if he could go to dinner tonight, but he apparently is required to put in a 12-15 hour day each day this week since the GM is out on vacation. He is "supposed to" be off on Thursday, but apparently his schedule changes constantly. I'm thinking who can live this way?

It also takes me back to one of the frustrations with Michael. He was *never* off work the entire time we were together. He was always on call. We would have to pull off the highway for him to call his boss with answers to inane questions on trips. When we were in Hawaii we spent mornings looking for wi-fi areas that would allow him to update the website. But at least he could go places. It seems like this guy just lives at the store where he works.

He has told me that this is an exceptional week, but I kind of have the feeling that it isn't. Am I projecting all this on him? Am I just looking for something wrong with any guy who gets interested, however peripherally? He did tell me that he never gets weekends off. One of the reasons I want to have someone is to go places and do things with, and that doesn't seem as if it will be much of an option here. I mean, what's the point of having a boyfriend if I still have to go to all the parties by myself? I don't want to look back on my life and see years of waiting to get to see my lover because he worked all the time. But then again, I suppose it could be worse to look back and to have never been special to anyone at all. I'm torn.

He's a sweet guy. And I like him a lot. But tonight I am discouraged.