A post in which I take some time out

I had told myself that I wasn't doing anything today. Good call. I woke up feeling crappy (I know, how unusual), despite it being Saturday and all. It was a beautiful day. I had thought that I might go to the flea market this morning. I needed fruit anyway (plus that would be fun), but I just plain didn't feel like going. I'm so worn out, and it looked cold outside.

I ate some breakfast, and then lay back down. When I woke up it was 1:30pm.

One of my strategies for getting more rest is that if I don't get called and specifically invited somewhere, I don't try to find other stuff to do. It's much harder for me to decline an invitation than it is for me to be passive about it.

I futzed around the house a very little bit. I had told myself I would get some housework done today, but after feeling so bad last week I had seriously lowered the bar. I cleaned up the cat's eating area, which gets surprisingly disgusting. Anyone who thinks that cats are fastidious creatures has obviously never cleaned up after them. Jinx has the surprising ability to get dry food to stick to the wall. I don't know either. And I won't even go into what Crooner does, which is disgusting. By the time I finished up with that, straightened up a bit, and got cleaned up myself, it was late afternoon.

Since I had gone to the trouble of getting cleaned up, I wanted to go somewhere, and I decided that going to the grocery store would kill two birds. A brief outing (I only needed a couple of things) would get me out of the house for a mo and do something that needed doing at the same time. I went.

I ran by the library on the way to drop off a book.

I went to Publix downtown, but while I was there, I got bit by the bug. I planned suppers and lunches for next week, and got the stuff to make them. I headed home afterwards, but there was nothing in the house to eat. I still felt like kind of a loser to be doing the grocery shopping on Saturday night. To reward myself for being responsible I stopped and got a tuna sub at Subway - only a 6" this time, but it still cost about the same. I should have gotten a whole one and eaten half of it later, but at least I didn't eat to the point of misery.

I had thought I was doing well with my weight. I was eating (fairly) reasonably, and my weight seemed to be remaining stable despite an occasional treat. Then suddenly last week, about Wednesday, my work pants got tight. All the fat posted at once, which hardly seems fair. And I'm supposed to be getting more rest to treat the Epstein-Barr, so I have no idea how I would exercise at this point.

I felt lonely tonight. It's kind of a downer that no one called and invited me anywhere, although since I should have declined it anyway (and probably wouldn't have at this point) I guess that's a good thing they didn't. I'm lonely for Miss Kat and dana. It took a good bit of willpower not to call them tonight. But I didn't. I stayed home like a good boy, and turned in early. On a Saturday yet. Sigh.

I'm telling myself that I have to take care while I can, or I'll have no life at all. But it's discouraging that work seems to take about all I have these days. Having to nurse myself along just to make it through the forty hours of requirement hardly seems fair.