A post in which I reach out, but have to shoulder the burden myself for a bit longer

I woke up this morning feeling like I had been through the mental meat grinder. I didn’t get much sleep either. This deficit is starting to add up. I hated to do it, but I obviously can’t deal with this new revelation on my own. I sent out the critter call email to Miss Kat this morning that I need some time to talk to her. I hate doing that. I hate being that guy – “Sigh. Steve’s played again, so now we have to talk him down off a ledge.” But I hate being a walking zombie worse, and I’m not foolish enough to refuse to reach out for help that I obviously need.

Fortunately I had mostly caught up my desk yesterday, so after I did some follow-ups today I could take my nose off the grindstone for a bit. It was a good thing. I was fairly distracted all day.

And of course it was an ointment day. This could be the last one, but you’re really not supposed to discontinue use until the tat starts to peel, and this one still looks pretty fresh. I’m doing a good job taking care of it though – it looks good. I’m not concerned about this one the way I was about the last one.

I got an email from Miss Kat this morning, reminding everyone that it was dana’s birthday today. Yikes. I had completely forgotten. And of course that meant that I wasn’t about to go over there tonight and sort out my mental dirty laundry. Miss Kat offered, but I had to back-pedal and tell her that this problem should not interrupt the festivities, and it most surely would have. She was concerned for me, and I had to do a bit of convincing, but in the end she trusted my judgment about this. I was very glad. Had she insisted, I would have had to dig in and say that only a direct order would make me talk about this today. After reaching out for her help, that would have made me feel like a real tool, so I’m glad it didn’t come to that.

Of course that left me another day and night to carry this around. I think if I can speak it I can lay it down. For now, I’m just gonna have to tough it out. So I compartmentalized and got through the day. By the time I got in from work, I felt like I was walking on my knees. I made some truly nasty shrimp pasta out of the freezer that I had bought on a wild hair, fooled around online for a while, did my tattoo care, and turned in.