A post in which I return home

Well all good things must end right? I woke up at 6:30 this morning, “dropping” from my scene. (“Drop” or “Dom drop” is kind of a backlash from the endorphin overload you get in a really good scene or event. Generally, the better the high, the longer the flight, and the worse the drop later. Some people don’t have it at all, and some suffer terribly. Basically, it just feels like everything is wrong, nothing will ever be right, and you want to cry about all of it. I am told it is a lot like a bad PMS.) So I cried for a half hour or so, quietly because I didn’t want to wake Rhonda. Then I lay there for an hour or so trying to clear my head, and basically having a big ole pity party. But eventually I drifted back off to sleep for a while, and when I woke up I felt much better. As drops go, that one wasn’t really very bad. I’ve certainly had much worse.

We gathered for breakfast at the diner again today. Russ, Billy, Joanne, Lori, Miss Kat, dana, and Rob were here today, but Lady Beth and Lynn were already gone. Lynn had an early flight back to Texas.

Rhonda and I had packed up before we left the hotel. There was a lot of lingering and talking outside the restaurant; then lots of hugs. Then people peeled out their separate ways to go back to the “real world”. Sigh.

I had talked to Rhonda earlier about going by All or Nothing tattoo today. They did the re-work on my arm, and the original tattoo on my thigh, which has needed touching up for some time. While we were down here I wanted to get that seen to. I also want a companion piece for my other thigh. When we got to the place though, we couldn’t find anyone to help us. I finally started towards the back, and a guy met me and said he would get the scheduler. The scheduler was pretty underwhelmed about helping me. He made it plain that they had no interest in doing the work – even the touch up. For a shop to not touch up their own work is pretty shitty, frankly. He just wanted to push me off to Monday, when they would be slower, which would have been fine if I hadn’t been in from out of town. I got the impression that it the work I wanted wasn’t enough expensive enough for him to bother putting me in the schedule. That really pissed me off. But we didn’t have any choice, so we just left.

I got over it. It’s been such a great weekend that I really can’t complain, but I was disappointed to not be able to get everything done that I wanted. But there are good shops around Greenville now, I just haven’t wanted to have to do the research and trust another shop. I had such a disappointing first experience that I’ve been very loyal to All or Nothing since they fixed that first tat, and did such good work on the second. After today though, that’s over – I have no time set to ever go back in there again. They’ve won a bunch of awards since I was last there, and apparently they don’t need regular customers any more. Well screw that.

Rhonda and I talked all the way back home. We stopped in Commerce for a rummage through the antique store there, and to have some lunch, but mostly we just drove, smoked, and talked. I spoke truths to her, and she spoke some to me. We both cried, and got closer. I love Rhonda so much. One of the things she told me today was that I am too hard on myself, and don't give myself enough credit. She's probably right. It's crazy for me not to reach out to the talented Dommes I know, several of whom have given me open invitations to come see them and play. I've held back because I'm afraid I'll disappoint, but I'm more sure of myself now. I should reach out for play and feed more often. It's just crazy for me to be able to do something I enjoy so much and not do more of it.

By the time I got her home, we were both wrung out, but I went in and spoke to Sabrina before I left. I like Sabrina, and I think she’s been very good to Rhonda. She loves her very much I know.

Russ and Billy were out to eat with Ben, but Rhonda and I were late getting in, and late getting lunch, so I missed dinner. I went home to unpack and decompress a bit, and Billy called me when they left the restaurant. I met them at their place, just in time for a summer hail storm. I called and talked to Myz Shay on the way over, sharing some preliminary insights from the weekend, and talking to her about setting up a play/visit date.

Russ, Billy, Ben and I sat in the garage, listened to it rain, smoked, and visited. One of my favorite things is the dissection of the trip afterwards, sharing impressions and memories. It’s like living it again through someone else’s eyes. It reinforces the bond.

But after having about four hours of sleep last night, the drive, and the emotional events of the day I was just all in. I went home and collapsed gratefully into my own bed, dead to the world in minutes.