A post in which I am irresponsible*

I woke up today with a feeling of ennui.

I knew I should go on to the flea market, but I didn't want to.  Lunches need to be made, but I didn't feel like doing that.  I did feel like going online and chasing guys, which I did for a while, to absolutely no effect.  I sent Josh a text because I saw him online, to which he did not respond.  I sent him an online message - same response.  Whatever. 

Eventually I got disgusted with the whole thing, took matters in hand, and signed off.  I got up and made myself some breakfast.  I took a nap and contemplated the drop-in I was invited to today.  I love Dan'l and Jim.  I really do.  I also enjoy their drop-in.  But they always, always have it on Sunday, because Jim works Saturday nights.  After last night, I was partied out.  I just didn't feel like getting it together to bake something, get cleaned up, truck out to Tigerville, and then feel all drug out tomorrow.  Plus I hadn't RSVP'd, and Dan'l is pretty stringent about that.  I should have gone.  And on some level I wanted to, but I just couldn't get up the motivation today. 

I sent RBL a text to see if they were going. They weren't.  Unsurprising after last night.  The house was trashed.  I thought about going over to help them clean up, but couldn't find the motivation for that either.  Had they asked, I would have gone over to help; but they didn't and so I didn't.  I sent Kimbley and Laura a text to let them know I wasn't going to go, and they responded that they weren't either.  I decided to take a nap.

I fell into the internet vortex, and un-earthed quite a surprise.  I started talking to a guy named Chuck.  We had talked before, glancingly, because we're both tops.  Chuck was feeling 'anxious' today, and wanted to come over.  I wasn't that into it - I was not feeling very anxious, and usually I'm not that into older guys; but he's nice and I know what it's like to be left high and dry.  I told him to come on.  When I stepped out of the shower, I regretted the invitation, but I was all in now.

When he came in, I was like WOOF.  My first thought was Logan would shit a brick over this guy!  Chuck's pictures didn't do him justice.  He is one fine-looking man!  He looks like he walked out of the pages of Daddy Magazine or something.  He isn't that much older than I am.  He has a good body, a great face, a beautiful smile, and is a great kisser.  He's furry too.  I'm not a size queen, never have been, but I will say unreservedly that this man has nothing to be embarrassed about in the locker room! 

 We spent a blissful afternoon in bed, where Chuck proceeded to give me a sore throat, in between talking and getting to know each other.  He has an 'aw shucks' manner that truly belies (and indeed multiplies) how massively hot he is.  Sadly, he seems to have a more lonely existence than I do.  He doesn't feel that he fits in to the gay community, so he doesn't socialize with gay people.  He's been divorced for sixteen years.  He raised his two children, but doesn't hear much from them these days.  He had taking in various people in need (he's a nurturer) and been burned for it, but hasn't let that close him off or make him bitter.  He's just a genuinely sweet guy who doesn't really have a direction in his personal life.  It is amazing to me that this guy is just out there, wandering around, and no one has lassoed him and taken him home.  Would that I were a bottom.  What a man!

Eventually, Chuck bade me a fond farewell, and I sent him out into the world again. 

I decided I needed to get up and do something today.  I did a pass through the recycling center, and then ran through the store.  When I got home, I put a pot of broccoli soup on (so easy, healthy, nutritious, and really no work) to simmer.  I ate supper and did a load of laundry, then pureed my soup and packed it up for lunches. 

For a day in which I wasn't feeling motivated to do anything, it turned out to be quite a day.